EWA: Why No One Cares About Wrestling In Europe

[juggaloninjalee]

The big dumb Russian needs to be dropped on his big dumb head for leaving a big dumb dump in Matravers bag.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][I][U][SIZE="5"][COLOR="DarkRed"]WARNING! Backstage Politics Ahead![/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG] [SIZE="4"][B][I]Starring: Spiros "The Mighty" Landrakis, Jr[/I][/B][/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][CENTER][B]In...[/B][/CENTER][/SIZE] [I][B][SIZE="4"]The Case of the Charismaless Russian![/CENTER][/SIZE][/B][/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]“We are a Sports ENTERTAINMENT company, Landrakis. We can’t have a man on this roster if people keep demanding their money back every time he comes within fifty meters of a microphone.” Byron flung his hair back over his shoulder in a most pompous of manners. “He’s at the McDonald’s in west…” Byron pauses to read over the name of the city, “Gorzów Wielkopolski. Go there and tell him what he needs to do if he wants to keep being able to afford chicken McNuggets.” Spiros briefly pondered the task ahead, and an idea entered his brain. “You’re the owner, why can’t you talk to him?” “And have someone see me entering a bleeding McDonald’s? How unsavory.” “Fine, fine… just tell me what his real name is again. I can never remember that convoluted Russian mess.” Too busy sipping down a cup of steaming hot tea to answer, Byron spun the aged monitor on his desk around. Spiros grabbed a pen out of a “World’s Greatest Boss” mug on the table and attempted to locate a piece of paper to write on. But there was none to be had. “You wouldn’t happen to have a piece of paper I could borrow, would you?” Byron stared off towards the ceiling, sipping his tea. “Or maybe a post-it?” Sip, sip, sip goes the tea. “Maybe an old white shoe that no one would miss?” Byron made eye contact with Spiros, giving him a quizzical look, before immediately breaking eye contact and proceeding to sip on his tea again. … “Damn it all.” And with that, Spiros Landrakis, Jr. hastily scribbled down the name on his hand. [B][CENTER]*End Scene One*[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER]*And Enter… SCENE TWO!*[/CENTER][/B] Spiros’s car sputtered and screeched to a painful stop at the Polish McDonalds. Inside, along with the “authentic American cuisine” which only aids in obesity and an additional reason to dislike America, a mountain of a man sits meekly in a shadowy corner, much like an emo kid who writes poetry about how no one in the world has ever felt pain like his. Spiros thought about diving out the door and not dealing with this whole ordeal, about telling Byron to do his own dirty work… but Spiros was also just happy to be able to HAVE work. He walked towards the large man in the corner. [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] “Hey there,” Spiros looked at the name scribbled on his hand, now smeared beyond any recognition, “Uh, guy!” The man known throughout Europe by its wrestling fans (all 2000 of them) as The Big Bad looked up at Spiros and silently motioned for him to sit down as he tossed another Chicken McNugget down his gullet. Spiros surveyed the smorgasbord of food laid out on the table in front of The Big Bad: two Big Macs, a 20-piece box of Chicken McNuggets and two large fries. Thank whatever god he believes in that no one was currently questioning the fact that The Big Bad can only last a hearty six minutes in the ring. “Listen, guy,” Spiros began, “You’re in serious trouble with the boss. He doesn’t feel you’re… entertaining enough currently to be in a company that’s about entertaining people.” “But I am Big Bad,” said in a dull, monotone, vaguely Russian accent. Spiros grew anxious, starting to rub his hands. “Yes, you’re big and in all honesty, not actually all that bad. The problem is… you’re just boring.” “Big is boring?” in the same monotone voice that has now managed to put half the restaurant asleep with seven simple words total. “It has nothing to do with your size, okay,” half screamed Spiros, “It’s just… when you’re in the ring you don’t do anything to get the crowd involved. You plod around and toss around the smaller guys while the crowd boos your tag partner. Just, you know… do the occasional roar. Celebrate with the crowd if you hit a big move! Or here’s a start: stop wrestling with a poker face at all times!” The Big Bad chomped down on a pair of still warm fries, showing no emotion. “And to top it off, we honestly get scared anytime a live microphone is in your general vicinity. I think you’re smart enough to not start randomly talking, but if you ever did we’d have the entire arena demanding their money back.” “I,” lord, so monotone, “understand.” The duo sat in the booth for a few uncomfortable minutes as Spiros calmed down while the still emotionless Big Bad wiped out the first of the big macs. “How long do I have?” Shocked by the new record length sentence, Spiros realized that maybe there’s a glimmer of hope here. “You’re contract comes up in two months. If you can’t learn to be more entertaining before then it won’t be renewed. Please,” pleaded Spiros, “go out and find a place that encourages you to talk more. And go find an internet café and look up some videos on some of the more entertaining large Americans, like Dread or Runaway Train, and see what they do in the ring. You don’t have to be Louis Figo Manico when you hold a microphone; we just want to know we can trust you enough to let you hold one, MAYBE, once every couple of months. You’re solid worker, buddy, and you could be a real star here… but first you need to learn that there’s more to wrestling in EWA than wrestling.” The Big Bad was busying himself with the nuggets now, but seemed to be paying attention. “If it means being big, bad superstar… I shall try.” Sensing a great deal of honesty in those dull sounding words, Spiros gave a sigh of relief. “I’m glad to here you say that. Please, friend, don’t let me down.” Content that he’d done a good job, Spiros rose from his seat and left The Big Bad to finish his meal in peace.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling![/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]From, you guess it, Lubuskie Arena! Bring a coat! [/I][/CENTER] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AdamMatravers.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG] Adam Matravers vs. Byron[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG] Haiti Voodude vs. Toby Juan Kanobi[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/InkyTheSquid.jpg[/IMG] Marat Khoklov vs. Inky The Squid Boy[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GregGauge_alt1.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG] Greg Keith vs. Joey Beauchamp[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] Ruud Van Anger vs. Louis Figo Manico: [I]EWA Universal title match![/I][/CENTER][/B] [U][B]Quick Picks:[/B][/U] Adam Matravers vs. Byron Haiti Voodude vs. Toby Juan Kanobi Marat Khoklov vs. Inky The Squid Boy Greg Keith vs. Joey Beauchamp Ruud Van Anger vs. Louis Figo Manico: EWA Universal title

[Hyde Hill]

Adam Matravers vs. [B]Byron[/B] The owner wins of course [B]Haiti Voodude[/B] vs. Toby Juan Kanobi Big man with litlte talent vs small man with more talent and a tag partner who hates him, hmmm. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy Calamaris jum jum. Greg Keith vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] Wowo hold the presses these two wrestlers are way too good to be in the ring together. Lets say Beauchamp wins so you can keep Keith around longer. Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: My hart says go DUTCH! The rest of me completly disagrees.

[GruntMark]

Adam Matravers vs. [B]Byron[/B] Dont think he'd be willing to put Adam over. [B]Haiti Voodude [/B]vs. Toby Juan Kanobi Voodoo deserves an awesome evily push. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy Cruches the Squid. Not even Bam Bam inference would justify a loss... Greg Keith vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] Keith is the future...but Beauchamp is the now! Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal title LOL to RVA. Least he can say he main evented once.

[kowalewski]

Adam Matravers vs.[B] Byron[/B] [B]Haiti Voodude[/B] vs. Toby Juan Kanobi [B]Marat Khoklov [/B]vs. Inky The Squid Boy [B]Greg Keith[/B] vs. Joey Beauchamp Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal title

[Tigerkinney]

Adam Matravers vs[B]. Byron[/B] [I]The boss gets the win[/I] [B]Haiti Voodude[/B] vs. Toby Juan Kanobi [I]TJK isn't talented enough to justify going over Haiti, who seems to be getting a bit of a push[/I] [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy [I]Squash....next[/I] Greg Keith vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] [I]Sadly young Gregory is an American jobber, when it comes to working for EWA. Losing to one of the more talented people on the roster in Beauchamp is no shame though.[/I] Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal title [I]There's more chance of the top three of the Premier League being Hull City, Stoke City and West Bromwich Albion than Ruud does of winning the title from the Fig.[/I]

[Marcel Fromage]

Adam Matravers vs. [B]Byron[/B] [B]Haiti Voodude [/B]vs. Toby Juan Kanobi [B]Marat Khoklov [/B]vs. Inky The Squid Boy Greg Keith vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal title [I]Have to pretty much agree with what has been said by my esteemed colleagues above.[/I]

[mistaken]

[B]Adam Matravers[/B] vs. Byron [B]Haiti Voodude[/B] vs. Toby Juan Kanobi [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy Greg Keith vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] Ruud Van Anger vs.[B] Louis Figo Manico: EWA Universal title[/B]

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling![/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]May 2009 Week 2 In Lubuskie Arena! You better have brought that coat... [/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MarkStanford.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LawrenceYoung.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Welcome to yet another sold out EWA in Lubuskie Arena, coming to you a month after it took place on DVD! [B][COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] You spent your money well folks, as this both half the price and twice the entertainment you would’ve experienced had you been a bloomin’ idiot and bought Devilfish 2: The Rise of the Deeplord instead. [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] You said it Lawrence! Unfortunately, half the people watching this DVD don’t know, because they don’t speak English and the EWA staff is too cheap to bring in non-English announcers. [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico [/COLOR][/B](off screen): Enunciate, my main man! The rain in Spain… [COLOR="DimGray"][B]The Big Bad [/B][/COLOR](off screen): The… rain… [B][COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"]Lawrence Young: [/COLOR][/B]So what’s on the agenda for tonight, Mark? [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] I’m glad you asked, Lawrence! A couple of our fellow Englishmen will be in competition against each other as Adam Matravers takes on Byron, who’s beautiful flowing hair has already caused two Eastern European countries to erupt into all out war! [COLOR="Red"][B]Louis Figo Manico (off screen):[/B][/COLOR] In... [COLOR="DimGray"][B]The Big Bad[/B][/COLOR] (off screen): In… Spain? Mark Stanford: The ancient battle of whale vs. squid shall spread to dry land as Inky The Squid Boy attempts to not get kill by Marat Khoklov! [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico[/COLOR][/B] (off screen): Falls evenly... [B][COLOR="dimgray"]The Big Bad[/COLOR][/B] (off screen): Falls… evenly… [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] And finally, the EWA Universal title will be on the line as Louis Figo Manico defends against Holland’s very own Ruud Van Anger! [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico [/COLOR][/B](off screen): On the plain. [B][COLOR="darkslateblue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] And all of that will come as a surprise if you haven’t learned to speak English yet. [B][COLOR="dimgray"]The Big Bad[/COLOR][/B] (off screen): On… a plane? [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico [/COLOR][/B](off screen): THE plain. [B][COLOR="dimgray"]The Big Bad[/COLOR][/B] (off screen): … boss, the plane? [B]Rating:[COLOR="Red"] B[/B][/COLOR] [I]Mark Stanford and Lawrence Young continue to discuss tonight’s event, when they are interrupted by the unmistakably terrible entrance music of Spiros the Mighty. Spiros, with a worrisome look on his face, wastes little time as he quickly walks down to the ring and climbs in with a microphone in hand.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] HARK and give heed, sheep people of Poland. Last week Louis Figo Manico, in his cowardice and treacherous ways, brutally besieged my physical form in this realm. As consequence, I lost my match to Joey Beauchamp. Surely, this should prove as evidence that my accusations are not unfounded! Louis Figo Manico is truly the Prince of Lies and the Duke of Deceptions! With every day that passes that Manico taints the Universal title with his possession of it, the Gods themselves weep. [I]Theatre of Hate’s “Conquistador” interrupts Spiros before he can continue to rant about Gods and sheep. Spiros angrily paces back and forth in the ring, glaring toward the entryway. As expected, Louis Figo Manico makes his way out with microphone in hand while wearing the belt around his waist in a very classy manner.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico: [/COLOR][/B]Okay, seriously my main… the hypocrisy is growing to palpable levels. I’ll admit, I lost my cool and took a shot at your during your match with Joey Beauchamp. But don’t stand in there and pretend to be a saint! I know I wasn’t the only person in the arena that night who say that you were about to plant Joey on a steel chair! I know I wasn’t the only person who remembers my back bouncing off another steel chair two weeks ago when you ambushed my from behind following my match with White Knight. And yet here you stand, upset that I lost control of my emotions and wronged you once, and for that I apologize. The children in this arena tonight should know that violence should only be used as a last resort to solve your differences. [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Do not listen! His words crawl with the lies of Hades! Do not allow yourself to be so willingly blind to his devious tactics, least you be slaughtered as sheep for him to craft his disguises! [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Lies? The only lies in this arena tonight are yours, Spiros. Your ancient gods do not dictate whether or not a man should hold the EWA Universal title. The only beings that can make the decision are the men in the ring fighting for it. If you want this belt then there is no need to concoct a story about how it’s the “Will of Zeus” that you defeat me for this belt. If you are willing to ask me like a man for a title match at Iron Curtain, then I can agree to fight you like a man. [I]Spiros proceeds to pace once again, albeit briefly, as he ponders Manico’s proposal.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] I shall consult with my liaison to the Gods themselves, but be warned… Should Zeus demand it, he shall strike you down with infinite bolts of lightning so that his own champion shall be crowed the EWA’s Universal champion!!! [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AdamMatravers.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG] Adam Matravers vs. Byron[/CENTER][/B] [I]Byron looked disinterested with the booking, completely ignoring Adam Matravers as Adam made his way down to the ring so he could flirt with a girl in the front row. Matravers entered the ring and the bell rang… and Byron continued to chat with the girl! Matravers walked over to Byron to see what the deal was.[/I] [COLOR="Gray"][B]Adam Matravers:[/B][/COLOR] Hey, can we get this thing going already? [COLOR="Blue"][B]Byron: [/B][/COLOR]Bugger off for a couple of minutes, come back, and then I can beat you, okay? [I]Marginally offended, Adam Matravers looked up into the stands for support and walked off towards the ropes. Calmly he climbed out onto the apron, turned around… and hit a springboard dropkick right into Byron’s back! Byron found himself now in a match he was completely unprepared for, as the speedy all-rounder was coming at him with a brilliant, flashy offensive assault. Repeatedly, Adam Matravers went for the pin only to have Byron kick out at the last second, much to the disappointment of the fans who were now rallying behind Matravers. Matravers monkey flipped Byron out of the corner and climbed up top, preparing for the Mile High Moonsault! While on the ground, Bryon reached into his tights and pulled something out! Matravers jumped off and Byron rolled out of the way! Adam landed on his feet and charged forward, only to take a huge punch to the jaw from Byron… who quickly tossed a pair of brass knuckles off his hand and out of the ring! Byron went for the pin after the cheap shot, and got the three count! Byron defeated Adam Matravers in 5:38 by pinfall after using a foreign object.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Byron [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]The screech of tire and electricity! The scream of a 80s hair band! It’s Bam Bam Johansson with Geena The Warrior Princess both heading down to the ring! Geena snatches up a microphone while Johansson leaps onto a turnbuckle to give the fans a better view of his flexing.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] Marat Khoklov, last week you were proven to be a beta male in the presence of “The Alpha Norwegian”, and then you attacked Bam Bam from behind like the beta you are! [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] Check out my biceps, YEAH! [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] And this week, at Iron Curtain, we’re challenging you to step into the ring with a man that’s twice that of you… Bam Bam Johansson! [I]The crowd pops on cue, and Bam Bam flexes even harder! Some of the weaker members of the audience faint as they simply cannot handle the power radiating from Bam Bam’s trapezius muscles. Even Geena is absorbed by the display, and walks over to touch the muscles that would cause weaker women to kill one another in a psychotic bout of rage.[/I] [B][COLOR="darkred"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] We will be here all night, Khoklov. As soon as you stop cowering in fear please come out here and promise these 1,000 screaming fans that at Iron Curtain they will get to see you destroyed by “The Alpha Norwegian” himself, Bam Bam Johansson! [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] That’s my name! INTENSE! [B]Rating:[COLOR="Red"] B-[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG] Haiti Voodude vs. Toby Juan Kanobi[/CENTER][/B] [I]Wow… I guess these two both got a good look at Bam Bam during their way out here, as they were both completely off their games. Blown spots and sloppy moves galore to the point the fans were chanting for Boris Kiriyakin to come out here and show them how it’s done. At some point into this snoozer, Haiti Voodude reached into his hat and grabbed a handful of voodoo dust! But Eddie Cornell ran down to the ring and grab Voodude by his leg, tripping him and forcing him to drop the dust! Haiti Voodude jumped back up to look down at Eddie… and Toby rolled him up from behind for the pin! But he only got a two count, and in the process some of the voodoo dust got on Toby Juan’s arms. Distracted trying to brush it off to prevent itching… or voodoo magic… Toby was helpless, and Haiti Voodude took advantage and hit the Voodoo Spiral to pick up another win![/I] [I]Haiti Voodude defeated Toby Juan Kanobi in 5:56 by pinfall with a Voodoo Spiral. During the match we also had Eddie Cornell run in and attack Voodude.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Haiti Voodude [B]Rating:[COLOR="Red"] E[/B][/COLOR] (I was thinking this would be a Dish match… but behold the power of awful chemistry.) [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MarkStanford.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LawrenceYoung.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]We join Mark Stanford and Lawrence Young at ringside, both rubbing their eyes and yawning.[/I] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Is that over yet? What happen, who won? [COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"][B]Lawrence Young:[/B][/COLOR] I think it was the Haitian… or Jamaican… whatever he is. [I]Mark Stanford picks up a glass of water and takes a sip and sets it back down. Suddenly, a low rumbling is heard in the distance and a ripple goes through the water in the glass.[/I] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] What the hell? [I]A louder rumble and another ripple…[/I] [COLOR="darkslateblue"][B]Lawrence Young:[/B][/COLOR] Maybe it’s the power trying to come back? [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] We… we HAVE power, Lawrence. [I]The rumbles grow more frequent until the lights DO go off, causing Lawrence Young to scream like a twelve year old girl. And as expected by anyone with a logical brain, some overly intense Russian music starts to play as a seven story tower of muscles appears in Lubuskie Arena. Marat Khoklov has arrived![/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Khoklov comes to Lubuskie, and hear propaganda spread by little capitalist woman. Khoklov not inferior “beta” male, as Khoklov is grandest man of Mother Russia! These lies upset Khoklov, and now Khoklov promises to crush Norwegian capitalist pig with the might of the Soviet hammer of the proletariat! Like little Frenchman and Austrian before, now you shall perish in the cold of winter behind the Iron Curtain, yes? Your blood shall stain the ring as red as the flag of the Motherland, and Khoklov shall stand before you victorious… and Khoklov… [B][SIZE="4"]will bury you.[/SIZE][/B] [I]Khoklov’s music plays once again as the behemoth steps out of the ring.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Only seconds after Khoklov has finished lumbering out of the arena, a simple reggae beat starts playing. Haiti Voodude comes out, displaying his ever awesome hat for the world to see.[/I] [B][COLOR="SeaGreen"]Haiti Voodude:[/COLOR][/B] I be here to speak to Eddie Cornell. Eddie, you be bringin’ some bad mojo on I, yah? Think you baaaad mon, but I man be sayin’ dat you cannot be allowed to be away with past transgressions of downgressions. You an’ I mon, we gonna get an overstanding of each other in here ring. [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] … What the hell did he just say? [B][COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] Either he challenged Eddie Cornell to a match, or he wants to make love to him while listening to Bob Marley. Either way, these two are going to physical! [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/InkyTheSquid.jpg[/IMG] Marat Khoklov vs. Inky The Squid Boy[/CENTER][/B] [I]Only in EWA could anyone actually consider this to somehow be a competitive match. Inky darted around Marat Khoklov, delivering a various degree of lighting fast strikes to try and keep the big man off balance. Marat finally had enough of these annoying little attacks and simply leveled Inky with a brutal big boot to end his momentum. Dazed, the Squid Boy found himself the victim of various power moves, ranging from a rib breaker to a Marat gorilla pressing the significantly smaller Inky up over his head and shot putting him all the way across the ring. Despite the punishment, Inky refused to stay down for a three count, rallying his fans (The Squidealots) to his cause! Marat Khoklov went for the Russian Legend Powerbomb, but Inky flipped all the way over him and spring-boarded off the ropes to send Khoklov stumbling with a huge dropkick. Inky climbed to the turnbuckle, looking for a massive upset, but in very predictable fashion he went for a cross body only to have Khoklov catch and power slam him to the ground. Now annoyed, Marat stalked Inky until he climbed to his feet, only to nearly decapitate him with a wicked Moscow Lariat followed by the three count. Marat Khoklov defeated Inky The Squid Boy in 7:53 by pinfall with a Moscow Lariat.[/I] [B]Winner: [/B]Marat Khoklov [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GregGauge_alt1.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG] Greg Keith vs. Joey Beauchamp[/CENTER][/B] [I]Another worker with an opportunity for a huge upset here, as Greg Keith gave Joey Beauchamp a run for his money. Immediately, the young American grappled with the speedy veteran, wrestling him to the ground with his formidable technical prowess, easily outclassing Beauchamp on the mat and turning “The Breeze” into the “The Doldrums” (also aided by more than a couple cheap shots whenever Joey managed to squirm free). After spending most of the match on the defensive, Beauchamp finally managed to permanently wiggle free from Greg Keith’s grip and pitch him down with a pair of hurricanranas and arm drags, capped off with a beautiful leaping leg lariat. Beauchamp went up top and connected with The Breeze Block and put the much hated young American down. Joey Beauchamp defeated Greg Keith in 7:33 by pinfall with a Breeze Block.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Joey Beauchamp [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] Ruud Van Anger vs. Louis Figo Manico: [I]EWA Universal title match![/I][/CENTER][/B] [I]I’ll start off by just saying this… Best… Match… Ever. No one watching this match expected the spectacle that unfolded before them, as Ruud Van Anger and Louis Figo Manico, two men with completely opposite in-ring styles, put on a career defining performance. Manico would control most of the match with a mixture of holds and bone snapping suplexes, only to have Ruud Van Anger find some way to even the odds with dazzling high risk moves that he pulled seamlessly from the air itself. In one particular spot, Ruud Van Anger managed to leapfrog over LFM onto the turnbuckle and bounce back with a textbook moonsault, all in one fluid motion followed by him using a slingshot senton to nearly steal the EWA Universal title. While few went into the match thinking Ruud Van Anger actually had a chance of winning, towards the end the people were starting to wonder how much more punishment the technical wizard Louis Figo Manico could withstand from the scrappy daredevil. The crowd rose to their feet after Ruud Van Anger planted LFM on his back with a dropkicksault and ascended the turnbuckle in one quick leap, looking for the Dutch Courage (a shooting star legdrop). Manico managed to roll out of the way and started grappling with RVA, who was struggling to keep himself on the mat and protected from any potential suplexes from Louis. It didn’t matter, as Manico managed to quickly hook RVA’s arms while he was on the ground and flip him up and over with a lightning fast Madrid Maul. Manico sat out for the pin, and so ended the greatest match in EWA’s short history. Louis Figo Manico defeated Ruud Van Anger in 11:51 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul. Louis Figo Manico makes defence number 12 of his EWA Universal title.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Louis Figo Manico [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]B[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Louis Figo Manico stayed in the ring following the amazing bout, and asked for a microphone. He waited a few minutes both to catch his breath and to let the crowd calm down as they cheered Ruud Van Anger out the exit for his stellar performance. Finally, “The Pain From Spain” spoke. Louis Figo Manico: Spiros, my main man! You and me, I think it is time we settle this disagreement of ours, and to do so I need an answer from you now. While you were backstage, claiming to speak with your liaison to fictional gods, did you happen to discover the courage to enter the ring with me, man against man, at Iron Curtain? Or are you but a sissy, begging me for glory you do not deserve? [B]Rating:[COLOR="red"] B[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Spiros the Mighty’s music plays, and the self proclaimed “Champion of the Gods” walks out onto the entry way. Spiros: HARK and give heed, questionably noble people of the Northlands! I have consulted with the Gods, and their wisdom is unanimous. Before me, they have laid the task required for me to rid the EWA of your vile wickedness, Spaniard, and so… I will fight you at Iron Curtain. BE WARNED, for the Gods themselves shall watch over me, and ward away any futile attempts at treachery. Should you attempt to further befoul the prestige of the Universal title, then Zeus has assured me he will condemn you to an eternity in the infernal lakes of Hades! Spiros lowers his microphone and the two men stare each other down from across the ring while Mark Stanford scream “Bloody aye, it is OWN! MANICO AND SPIROS AT IRON CURTAIN! Buy your tickets now before I buy them all myself and sell em’ back at double price!” [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]B[/B][/COLOR] [B][SIZE="6"]Overall Rating: [COLOR="red"]B-[/SIZE][/B][/COLOR] [U]Random Thoughts:[/U] This show has gone down in history as the best show so far for the EWA, and had the best match of all time with Ruud Van Anger vs. Louis Figo Manico. Which personally shocked me, as they only got a D+ before the diary. Both had gained some popularity since then, so I figured the match was a sure fire C- at the least this time around... boy was I shocked. Its safe to say that Ruud Van Anger has earned himself a spot on this roster for as long as he wants it. In other news, DAMN its good to finally update this. I love the EWA, now and forever. Any and all thoughs, comments, and suggestions are welcome as usual. Stayed tuned for the card to EWA Iron Curtain 2009!

[Tigerkinney]

Nice to see this back, it's a fun diary. I like how you've embraced the probable cheesyness of EWA, who of course are trying to recapture the spirit of UCR during their family friendly sports entertainment era.

[Comradebot]

[QUOTE=Tigerkinney;509216]Nice to see this back, it's a fun diary. I like how you've embraced the probable cheesyness of EWA, who of course are trying to recapture the spirit of UCR during their family friendly sports entertainment era.[/QUOTE] Good sir, the probable cheesyness is the whole reason I started using this company, and its the reason I fell in love with it enough to start up a diary for it. I loved booking USPW in 2007, but couldn't get back into em' in 2008 really... but I've also always wanted to try a European company out, and I saw EWA a match made in heaven for me. I was close to abandoning this diary, I'll be honest, but after booking a few more EWA shows I've realized it'd be criminal to rob the world of their zany antics. God bless "The Alpha Norwegian" and Boris Kiryikan!

[mistaken]

post more show now! ok I'll be patient, and sit over here in the cornter. :cool:

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="6"][U][SIZE="6"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA Iron Curtain 2009[/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]From the one arena people will actually show up to in Europe, Lubuskie! Or maybe we just love Poland this much? [/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RobertoMilano.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AbrahamSlam.jpg[/IMG] [B]Roberto Milano vs. Poppa Punisher[/B] [I]A potentially epic match between two men who have absolutely no qualm with each other what so ever! Totally NOT booked as a throwaway match to fill the dark show time. Totally.[/CENTER][/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/WhiteKnight.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG] [B]Soviet Union vs. White Knight & Haiti Voodude[/B] [I]The Soviet Union continues to try and establish itself in EWA, but Boris Kiriyakin seems to be incapable of getting the fans to realize his wrestling genius. White Knight and Haiti Voodude will present quite the challenge for the Communist Comrades, in yet another match that wasn’t booked simply to fill time and make a few people who haven’t been booked a lot recently happy. Also, imagine both Haiti Voodude's and Boris Kiriyakin's hats in the same arena at the same time! Epic. Totally.[/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BurningExile.jpg[/IMG] [B]Toby Juan Kanobi vs. Burning EXILE[/B] [I]Toby Juan continues to try and live his life without his padawan learner, and what better way to take out your frustrations than on a guy whose contract comes up every three months?[/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Puffy.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Ruud Van Anger[/B] [I]Puffy continues to try and strike out a singles career for himself when he takes on one half of Double Dutch, the premier tag team in the EWA today! Ruud Van Anger showed the world (all 2000 or so people who know we exist) that he is a force to be reckoned with in the EWA when he nearly upset Louis Figo Manico last week, but Puffy is one tough, poof-ball hat wearing customer who is not to be underestimated. Will Ruud Van Anger finally manage a big singles win, or will he fall short yet again?[/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] [B]"The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson vs. Marat Khoklov[/B] [I]Alpha baby, YEAH! The Alpha Norwegian finally goes mono y mono with Marat “The Russian Rampaging Wrecking Machine” Khoklov (what? I can't give him a terrible nickname if I want to?) after defeating him in the first ever annual EWA Strongman Competition, or whatever in the hell I named it. Marat didn’t seem all too pleased to lose the contest to a capitalist, and might be looking to extend the Eastern Block up into Scandinavia. Marat Khoklov will do whatever it takes to prove his red superiority, but there’s a reason Bam Bam is “The Alpha Norwegian”. It’s because he’s number ONE BABY, YEAH!! INTENSE![/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG] [B]Joey Beauchamp vs. Byron[/B] [I]In that “other” upper card match that is very obviously booked just to make people remember we have a few workers who aren’t ‘roided up freaks, Joey Beauchamp takes on fellow Englishman, and EWA owner, the super hot n’ sexy Byron. Byron has shown blatant disrespect for his recent opponents, most notably Adam Matravers. When Joey Beauchamp was asked, “What if Byron shows disrespect towards you this week?” Joey simply responded with “It’s cool…. After all, I am the Breeze!” which then lead to him looking around at people who didn’t exist and grinning like a jackass.[/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] [B]Spiros The Mighty vs. Louis Figo Manico: [U]EWA Universal Title Match[/B][/U] [I]Here it is folks, the one match that will (hopefully) be the sole reason to actually buy a ticket to sit in the frigid temperatures of Lubuskie Arena! Spiros continues to proclaim that it is his divine right, as decreed by Zeus himself, that he defeat the villainous Louis Figo Manico and rid the EWA Universal title of his taint! Never mind the fact that he’s clearly bat**** insane, and Manico seems like a pretty good guy. Is Spiros really that insane, or is it just a clever ploy to distract Manico from the danger he presents to him in the ring? Whatever the case, Manico always gives 113%, and you can expect a barn burner (how many barns are in Poland, anyways?) in this one! EWA Universal title on the line! The Bam Bam Johansson says, “INTENSE!”[/I][/CENTER] [quote] [U][B]Quick Picks:[/B][/U] Roberto Milano vs. Poppa Punisher Soviet Union vs. White Knight & Haiti Voodude Toby Juan Kanobi vs. Burning EXILE Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Ruud Van Anger "The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson vs. Marat Khoklov Joey Beauchamp vs. Byron Spiros The Mighty vs. Louis Figo Manico[/quote]

[Derek B]

[b][u]Quick Picks:[/b][/u] [b]Roberto Milano[/b] vs. Poppa Punisher [i]I flipped a mental coin... it always comes up tails to Milano to win.[/i] [b]Soviet Union[/b] vs. White Knight & Haiti Voodude [i]Regular team vs thrown together team = Soviet Union ftw! [/i] Toby Juan Kanobi vs. [b]Burning EXILE[/b] [i]I smell a run in... [/i] Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. [b]Ruud Van Anger[/b] [i]After his last great performance I can just see RVA building some steam and getting the win here [/i] "The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson vs. [b]Marat Khoklov[/b] [i]ARGH!! MOTHERLAND!! [/i] Joey Beauchamp vs. [b]Byron[/b] [i]For some reason I think Byron might have the edge here... but I can't quite put my finger on why. [/i] Spiros The Mighty vs. [b]Louis Figo Manico[/b] [i]Could go either way but I'm putting my money on The Pain From Spain On A Plane Near The Ukraine to win this one [/i]

[mistaken]

Roberto Milano vs.[B] Poppa Punisher[/B] [B]Soviet Union[/B] vs. White Knight & Haiti Voodude Toby Juan Kanobi vs[B]. Burning EXILE[/B] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Ruud Van Anger "The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] Joey Beauchamp vs. [B]Byron[/B] [B]Spiros The Mighty[/B] vs. Louis Figo Manico

[Tigerkinney]

Quick Picks: Roberto Milano vs. [B]Poppa Punisher[/B] [B]Soviet Union[/B] vs. White Knight & Haiti Voodude [B]Toby Juan Kanobi[/B] vs. Burning EXILE Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. [B]Ruud Van Anger[/B] "The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] Joey Beauchamp vs.[B] Byron[/B] Spiros The Mighty vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]

[GruntMark]

Roberto Milano vs. [B]Poppa Punisher[/B] [B]Soviet Union [/B]vs. White Knight & Haiti Voodude [B]Toby Juan Kanobi[/B] vs. Burning EXILE Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. [B]Ruud Van Anger[/B] "The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] Joey Beauchamp vs. [B]Byron[/B] Spiros The Mighty vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico [/B]

[NeoMetsFan]

Quick Picks: Roberto Milano vs. [B]Poppa Punisher[/B] Soviet Union vs. [B]White Knight & Haiti Voodude[/B] [B]Toby Juan Kanobi [/B]vs. Burning EXILE Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. [B]Ruud Van Anger[/B] [B]"The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson[/B] vs. Marat Khoklov Joey Beauchamp vs. [B]Byron[/B] Spiros The Mighty vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] BTW this diary is one of, if not the best I have ever read and is currently my number one reason for lurking the GDS boards! Keep up the GREAT work, and I love your brand of humor!

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="6"][U][SIZE="6"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA Iron Curtain 2009[/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]Some Will Live... Odds are, No One Will Die... [/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Okay, Mr. The Big Bad, let us try this again. The rain in Spain… [B][COLOR="Gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] The rain in Spain… [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Falls mainly… [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] Falls mainly.. [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] On the plain. [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] Snakes on a Plane? [I]Manico sighs and shakes his head in disbelief[/I]. [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Really? Why would I reference a bad film starring Samuel L. Jackson? How, in anyone’s mind, does that make sense? [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] I thought it was pretty good movie. [I]Louis Figo Manico’s head raises into an alert position, a look of shock on his face.[/I] [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] My main man, did you just use a full sentence without aid in front of 1000 semi-interested fans? [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] …Maybe? [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico[/COLOR][/B]: You did! You managed to construct a complete sentence! Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve had a breakthrough! [I]A few tired sounding claps come from the audience. Anxiously, The Big Bad raises his arm in a celebratory manner, eliciting a few extra claps and a very poor attempt at a smile on his face.[/I] [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Good job, Mr. The Big Bad. [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] So… my job? [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Is still probably on the line. I don’t think the boss will take the ability to string seven words together as “charisma”. Still, perhaps you’re not unemployed yet! [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B[/B][/COLOR] (lol) [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RobertoMilano.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AbrahamSlam.jpg[/IMG] [B]Roberto Milano vs. Poppa Punisher[/B][/CENTER] [I]Wow! What amazing mediocrity in this match! Milano and Poppa provided some quality background noise, much like game shows provide to the elderly, as the fans continued to fill the seats, or get up to get in a quick restroom break or pick up a Bratwurst dog. For those paying attention to the match, they saw an almost passable display of Milano trying to keep Poppa Punisher wrapped up with his technical skills. Alas, Poppa Punisher used his brute strength to overpower Milano, and ended up planting him with a Punishing Bomb for the win. Poppa Punisher defeated Roberto Milano in 5:42 by pinfall with a Punishing Bomb.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Poppa Punisher [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/WhiteKnight.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG] [B]Soviet Union vs. White Knight & Haiti Voodude[/B][/center] [I]Hooray! Another brilliant display of EWA mediocrity was present in this match. The Soviet Union looked a little more like a tag team and less like two people randomly thrown together, as they did an almost passable job of coordinating their power based double teams. But THAT’S not what was important. The real thing of note? THE FANS DIDN’T BOO THE VERY PRESENCE OF BORIS KIRIYAKIN!!! HUZZAH!!! Unfortunately, it seemed Boris was thrown off a little by the sudden change in the environment, and Haiti Voodude managed to catch the big Russian out of nowhere with a lightning fast Voodoo Spiral. The Big Bad was too winded to flop into the ring in time to break up the pin, and the random pairing managed to (sadly) defeat the Soviet Union. White Knight and Haiti Voodude defeated Soviet Union in 5:55 when Haiti Voodude defeated Boris Kiriyakin by pinfall with a Voodoo Spiral.[/I] [B]Winners:[/B] White Knight and Haiti Voodude [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D-[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]A really bad, midi version of the Star Wars them plays throughout the arena, and Toby Juan Kanobi strolls out to the ring. He “uses the force” (as in just catches a microphone thrown to him) to grab a microphone into his hands.[/I] [B][COLOR="Green"]Toby Juan Kanobi:[/COLOR][/B] Jed High, the Dark Side has corrupted you, mentally and physically. This path you are taking, it shall lead you to suffering and despair. And, my young apprentice, I shall not aid you in your fall from the Light. To fight you would only feed the anger, and anger does little more than feed the Dark Side. I will not strike you down, Jed, not while hope remains that you may redeem yourself. [I]Toby tosses the microphone out of the ring, also possibly with the Force, and hands his robe off to some nameless person at ringside.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BurningExile.jpg[/IMG] [B]Toby Juan Kanobi vs. Burning EXILE[/B] [/center] [I]As the nameless person is busy securing the robe, Burning EXILE hits the ring at full force, trying to take Toby Juan Kanobi by surprise! Of course, being a Jedi master, Toby sensed the attack coming and dropped EXILE at the start of the match with a blind pele kick. The fans instantly took notice, as this kind of speed and agility is both rare and borderline blasphemy in EWA. Okay, fine, we DO have some speedsters, and both of these guys fall into that category. They both worked with this, employing as many flashy moves as they could along with back and forth counter holds, never letting the match slow down completely into something like a rear chinlock. Toby managed to break free of a EXILE’s grasp, but right into a super stiff kick to the ribs! Kanobi doubled over, wincing, and fell victim to a volley of the stiff, Japanese kicks, but managed to stay on his feet (though in a very wobbly state)! Burning EXILE looked for a final devastating kick right to Kanobi’s head… but Toby ducked, and EXILE got his leg stuck on the top rope! Toby grabbed him by the head, and pulled him right off into a Kanobi Kutter! Kanobi went for the pin, and got the three count in the first match of the night not to send any of the fans off to get a second serving of Bratwurst dogs. Toby Juan Kanobi defeated Burning EXILE in 5:56 by pinfall with a Kanobi Kutter.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Toby Juan Kanobi [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JedHigh_alt3.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Toby Juan Kanobi has his hand raised in victory, and the lights go out! A red glow appears in the ring, and the lights come back on with Jed High preparing to strike Toby Juan Kanobi with his (plastic) lightsaber! Toby senses it, and intercepts the strike with his own, blue lightsaber. A wild duel, complete with semi-realistic lightsaber sound effects erupt in the ring. Toby Juan Kanobi manages to knock Jed High’s lightsaber out of his hand and points his at Jed’s chest… but Jed (apparently) uses the Force to toss Toby Juan Kanobi out of the ring! Toby collapses in obvious pain, as Jed High laughs maniacally before grabbing his lightsaber and vanishing into the crowd.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MarkStanford.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LawrenceYoung.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]And now we join Mark Stanford and Lawrence Young at ringside![/I] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Once upon a time, I didn’t think it was possible for a professional wrestler to be a virgin… but I think these two just proved me wrong. What do you think, Lawrence, you speak the language of the pure still, right? [B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] I really don’t think my sex life is any of your business… [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Something has to EXIST before it can be anyone’s business. [B][COLOR="royalblue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] … [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Moving on! Up next, we have a great match up between Puffy The Sand Iron Player, and Ruud Van Anger! Neither is a contender for largest man in the EWA today, but have more than enough heart to pretend like that doesn’t matter. [B][COLOR="royalblue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] You said it, Mark. Hit the pause button now and make sure you use the rest room now, because there’s no sense in having to pause this DVD in the middle of the match. These two have had a few words for each other in semi-recent history, so I’m sure they can’t wait to get into the ring with eachother. [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Aye, that’s the truth. And just to think that you, the DVD owner, are the sole reason for us having this segment! All these people around us are being forced to stare at an empty ring with only the sounds of screaming children and cellphones to keep them company, just so you at home can hear us talk about how much it sucks to actually attend one of our events. [B][COLOR="royalblue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] You said it, Mark; it sure does suck to be in attendance right about now. [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Puffy.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Ruud Van Anger[/B][/CENTER] [I]The ever aggressive Puffy started off the match (and spent most of it) with fists flying everywhere, trying to pummel his small competition into the mat. Or at least that’s what he planned to do. RVA proved to be quite elusive and actually managed to use his small size to his advantage. Puffy would swing, RVA would dodge to the side, and WHACK, smack him a quick strike. With Puffy getting tired from his relentless offensive strategy, he soon fell victim to a RVA monkey flip, leading (of course) to Van Anger displaying his aerial skills. Puffy’s fist flying ways seemed to prove a weak defense when a 160lb Dutchmen is leaping onto you, after all. RVA about had the match put away, when Puffy managed to get a knee up and it collided with Ruud’s gut, sending him flopping around the ring like a herring out of water. Puffy wasted little time straddling him from behind and raining fists down on RVA’s head before finally pulling him up by the back of his neck and right into the Under Par, leading to the three count. Puffy The Sand Iron Player defeated Ruud Van Anger in 8:21 by pinfall with an Under Par.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Puffy the Sand Iron Player [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [I]Okay, this is the part where you insert some joke about something really, really massive making its way to the ring. Perhaps a mass of biceps should be included in the joke, or a swarm of screaming Japanese people, or hey, maybe even Mark Stanford speculating that Louie Anderson is possibly making a special guest appearance tonight. But you know the truth. Oh yes, the “Cold as the Russian Winter” truth! Marat Khoklov has arrived!! And carrying a Soviet Flag to the ring with him![/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Behold, capitalist pigs, the RED DAWN OF YOUR DESTRUCTION! Little man Bam Bam Johansson thinks he has defeated Khoklov, and that Khoklov does not possess might to Scandinavian man. Khoklov says Johansson should think otherwise, yes? For, when you face Khoklov, you do not face one man. When you face Khoklov, you face the ENTIRE MIGHT OF THE PROLETARIAT! A million strong of the working class, uniting in their anger to overthrow the evils of the bourgeoisie! And, Bam Bam, you are the evils of the bourgeoisie, flaunting your wealth with motorcycle and bull shark, yes? And Khoklov’s fist are the hammer and sickle of your impending demise… [I]Khoklov drops his microphone and waves the Soviet flag high above his head amongst a chorus of boos.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [I]Which are soon drowned out by the roar of a motorcycle and INTENSE 80s hair metal style electric guitar!!! Bam Bam Johansson floors it down to the ring with Geena sitting behind him. Bam Bam skids to a stop and gets off the bike as quickly as he can to start flexing.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [COLOR="DarkGreen"][B]Bam Bam Johansson:[/[/COLOR]B] THAT WAS INTENSE BABY, YEAH!!!! [I]Bam Bam bounces up into the ring in one smooth motion, while still flexing, as Geena calmly grabs a microphone and rolls in behind him.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] Marat, you lost the Strong Man competition, and you’re going to lose tonight. Because, get this: This ISN’T some epic battle between capitalism and communism. No, really, it’s NOT! This match is just going to be about one man versus a person who vaguely resembles a man. It will be about Bam Bam Johansson- [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] Even my NAME is Alpha, bro! YEAH! [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] Versus Marat Khoklov. There are no masses of the proletariat looking to overthrow Bam Bam. The Cold War ENDED nearly 20 years ago, the Soviet Union broke up! [I]Khoklov picks his microphone.[/I] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Yes… that what we wanted you to think!! BWHAHAHAHAHA!! [I]At THAT very moment, Soviet flags unfurl all across the arena (and blocking the view of the people with the cheap seats. In an equal, communist world, all tickets would be front row seats), along with Khoklov’s overly epic Russian music blasting out of the PA system.[/I] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] PREPARE YOURSELF, LITTLE MAN! For Khoklov is more than a mere RED SCARE!! BWHAHAHAHA!!! [I]Geena hastily retreats from the ring as Khoklov enters his, like… attack stance.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] [B]"The Alpha Norwegian" Bam Bam Johansson vs. Marat Khoklov[/B][/CENTER] [I]Bam Bam Johansson seems completely oblivious to the unfurling of the Soviet flags, that the bell to start the match has rung, and especially to the fact that Marat Khoklov is stalking him from behind. Instead, he’s more than content to keep flexing his totally Alpha muscles for the crowd. Marat takes advantage, clubbing Johansson from behind with a stiff forearm across his back with enough force to send Bam Bam’s sunglasses tumbling out of the ring. [/I] [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] C’MON BRO, CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY FLEXING?! [I]Marat only responds with a series of high impact strikes (mainly knees to the gut and more clubbing blows.) Marat tries to set up Bam Bam for a suplex, but instead “The Alpha Norwegian” grabs on to Khoklov, and the two starts to grapple with each other, trying to overpower the other. And soon the match evolves into them trying to push each other around, throwing in stiff strikes when they can and no selling all of it. Marat shoves Johansson into the ropes, catching him with a big boot as he bounces back, only to have Bam Bam spring back up and tackle the Russian giant, raining fist down on him until Marat simply pitches the Norwegian off of him, and capitalizing with a BODY SLAM, the closest thing to technical prowess you will ever see in this match. This is EWA wrestling, folks! Just two big guys using a lot of brawling, and speed or skill be damned! Marat irish whips Johansson into the ropes, and Bam Bam comes back looking for a SHOULDER BLOCK, but Marat sidesteps out of the way, and Bam Bam instead collides with referee Patrick Garrett, sending him tumbling out of the ring! Bam Bam turns around, right into a huge powerslam from Marat Khoklov. Marat simply steps over the top rope and goes outside the ring, heading straight for his Soviet flag. Geena runs over to try and pull it out of his hands, but his simply slapped down by a massive overhand chop from Khoklov. Marat steps back into the ring as Bam Bam is still climbing back to his feet. Khoklov waves the flag high over his head, summoning a chorus of boos from the audience. With Bam Bam back on his feet, but his back turned to Khoklov, the Russian giant turns his focus to “The Alpha Norwegian”.[/I] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Priyatnyh snov, comrade. [I]With a sickening crack, Marat Khoklov blasts Bam Bam Johansson in the face with the Soviet flag! He tosses it out of the ring and naturally this is when Patrick Garrett chooses to pull himself back into the ring. Khoklov goes for the pin, and NO!!! HE GETS THE THREE!!! [/I] [I]Marat Khoklov defeated Bam Bam Johansson in 9:48 by pinfall after using a foreign object.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Marat Khoklov [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/PatrickGarrett.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Marat’s music plays as he starts to exit the arena, waving his (bent) Soviet flag high above his head once more. Bam Bam stands up, and starts arguing with Patrick Garrett, point at the Soviet flag that he was bludgeoned with. They argue for a few brief moments, and Bam Bam snaps, and CRUSHES Patrick Garret down with a bulldozing forearm strike. Garrett crumples to the ground limply, as Bam Bam and Geena make their way to the back as well.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG] [B]Joey Beauchamp vs. Byron[/B][/CENTER] [I]By the time Patrick Garrett had regained consciousness, Beauchamp and Byron were already going at it in the ring! They proved to be a rather equal match for each other, with Beauchamp keeping Byron off balance with quick takedowns, strikes, and other flashy moves, and Byron quickly regaining the momentum with some suplexes, a backbreaker, and some other old school power moves. Joey Beauchamp went for a spinning heel kick, but Byron ducked and instead Patrick Garret got popped in the face! Byron caught Beauchamp from behind and locked in a sleeper hold, and we go through the classic “he’s in a sleeper hold and out, but suddenly wakes up and fights back” routine! Joey lands a couple of elbows in Byron’s ribs, and spins around to hit Byron with a jawbreaker, and both workers collapse to the mat. They struggle to their feet simultaneously, and… Adam Matravers hits the ring, charging after Byron! He goes for a superkick… but Byron ducks, and he plants Joey Beauchamp by accident! Adam looks in shock, and Byron grabs him from behind and pitches him out of the ring. Byron lifts up Joey Beauchamp, and hits him with the Upper Class, just in time for Patrick Garrett to wake up and count the three. Byron defeated Joey Beauchamp in 14:46 by pinfall with an Upper Class following botched interference by Adam Matravers.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Byron [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [I]We go backstage now, where an out of breath Lawrence Young runs up to Spiros the Mighty to hold a microphone in front of him.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [COLOR="Lime"][B]Spiros:[/B][/COLOR] HARK, and give heed once more, good people of the Northlands! The hour of the trial is upon us, and soon we shall all be free of Louis Figo Manico’s tyrannical reign! For too long his wickedness has gone unchecked, and by the power of the gods themselves he shall be vanquished! For GLORY! For HONOR! FOR GREECE! [I]Spiros raises his arms to emphasize his psychotic point.[/I] [B][COLOR="lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Prepare yourself, wicked man! For tonight you face the CHAMPION OF THE GODS! [I]Spiros stares intensely into the camera without blinking, takes a step forward so his face fills the screen, then ducks out of the shot.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [I]Lawrence Young lowers his hand with the microphone in it onto his leg as he continues to try and catch his breath. Unfortunately for him, this doesn’t last long as Louis Figo Manico pulls his arm up and raises the microphone to his own lips.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Can you believe this, Lawrence? That a man could continue to accuse Louis Figo Manico of being a wicked man? Lawrence? [B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] *Gasp*… I… air… *gasp* [B][COLOR="Red"] Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Precisely! It doesn’t make any sense! I am but a simple and humble man, a noble one when the need arises! And this Spiros, he tells this lies about me, in front of the wide-eyed children and the lovely women. There is no “grand destiny”, Spiros. There are no gods of Mount Olympus plotting against me. There is just you being a small, greedy man and trying to trick Louis Figo Manico out of his hard earned title. I will prove to you, Spiros, what both a true champion and real man is, in honorable combat. [I]Louis Figo Manico drops Lawrence Young’s arm, who promptly falls over as he was relying on Manico to support his weight. Manico heads off as Young tries to start dragging himself back to the announcer’s table.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]B+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] [B]Spiros The Mighty vs. Louis Figo Manico: [U]EWA Universal Title Match[/B][/U][/CENTER] [I]In standard “we’re going for a good match tonight” beginning, both competitors start off grappling, trying to find an early weakness to exploit. Spiros finally shoves LFM backwards, and charges at him, only to have Manico take him down with a drop toe hold and jump on his back, trying to restrain the Greek powerhouse. The attempt doesn’t last too long, as Spiros uses his immense strength to get back to his feet and plants a (not so stiff) kick right into Manico’s gut, followed up by a nice little scoop slam. Before he can get back to his feet, Spiros manages to lay a couple of stomps on Manico, and then backs him up into the turnbuckle with some punches. Spiros keeps the offensive going, hitting some shoulder rams in the corner turnbuckle on Manico, trying to drive the air out of him. Spiros lets Manico stumble out of the turnbuckle, stalking him. He charges forward but Manico catches him with a SLICK arm drag takedown, right into some sort of weak armlock maneuver. Spiros again tries to struggle free, but Manico uses a free hand to hit Spiros across the face with some forearm strikes. Still, Spiros refuses to be completely denied, and manages to power his way back to his feet, causing Manico to alter his hold and he ends up holding Spiros around his neck and right arm. With a sudden burst of power, Spiros lifts Manico straight off the ground and drops him throat first on the top rope! Manico stumbles backwards, right into a pretty sidewalk slam from Spiros, who goes for the pin! But only gets a two count. LFM gets back to his feet, and again they start grappling, this time throwing in some strikes to get each other off balance, but Manico wins out with a pair of perfect European uppercuts, and capitalizes with a T-Bone Suplex! Pinfall, but only a two count! The battle rages on, with Manico using his holds, European style brawling, and suplexes against the raw power of Spiros The Mighty. Spiros with a sudden burst of energy, knocking Manico around with some powerful punches! A double axe handle! Kick to the gut, Spiros looking for the Wrath of the Gods (a stunner)… but Manico pushes him off, and kicks Spiros in the gut on the rebound! He hooks the arms, looking for the Madrid Maul… but Spiros wiggles free, and backdrops Manico! Manico stands up in time for Spiros to hit a clothesline that sends both of them toppling out of the ring! They both stand up and start brawling viciously with one another, as Patrick Garrett starts the count. They seem completely unaware of that and… Garrett reaches ten, as they both continue to brawl their way out the entrance and out of the arena! Garrett calls for the bell, and we get the crappy result of a draw. Spiros the Mighty drew with Louis Figo Manico in 16:56 following a double count out.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Draw [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]B-[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="6"][B]Overall Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Comradebot]

Okay... that's a full months worth of EWA now complete! As I've told a few folks, my actual game is a few months ahead... but I'm temporarily shelving it until I can get my diary caught up a bit. I might be looking at how I write EWA a bit, see if I can cut down a bit on the time it takes to write up the weekly shows, but without removing anything that makes EWA as awesome as it is. After all, I think it'd work alot better to write the shows as they're still fresh in my mind... but at close to 3000 words per show, that could take a really, really long time.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/EWAshow1.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Quick Picks: Frank De Pain vs. Roberto Milano Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Burning EXILE White Knight vs. Joey Beauchamp Ruud Van Anger vs. Toby Juan Kanobi Bam Bam Johansson & Geena The Warrior Princess vs. Khoklov & Mystery Partner (Miss Information) Haiti Voodude vs. Louis Figo Manico: EWA Universal Title

[Tigerkinney]

Frank De Pain vs. [B]Roberto Milano[/B] [I]Quite rightfully as a sports entertainment promotion with a hard-on for big guys the little guys are getting pushed as insignicant job fodder, and as Frank's not the one who had the great match with LFM a few shows back (and even he just jobbed to Puffy), Milano gets the win. [/I] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [I]EXILE's being treated as foreign enhancement talent, while Puffy seems to be getting something of a push.[/I] White Knight vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] [I]I'm split on this one, as White Knight has the size advantage but Joey has been getting a reasonable push for a small guy, so I'll go against the big guys always win in EWA theory for this one.[/I] Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Toby Juan Kanobi[/B] [I]Despite having a great match against LFM a few shows back, Ruud still jobbed to Puffy, so I'm going to tip the Jedi for the win....via DQ due to interference from Jed High.[/I] [B]Bam Bam Johansson & Geena The Warrior Princess[/B] vs. Khoklov & Mystery Partner (Miss Information) [I]Bam Bam gets a win back in his riveting feud with the big communist. Actually the feud has been built very well but I could imagine their matches being absolutely dreadful to watch, still the EWA fanbase will gladly lap up two roided up freaks bashing each other.[/I] Haiti Voodude vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal Title [I]Routine title defence for the Fig. [/I]

[GruntMark]

Frank De Pain vs. [B]Roberto Milano[/B] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Burning EXILE White Knight vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] [B]Ruud Van Anger[/B] vs. Toby Juan Kanobi [B]Bam Bam Johansson & Geena The Warrior Princess[/B] vs. Khoklov & Mystery Partner (Miss Information) Haiti Voodude vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal Title

[Marcel Fromage]

Frank De Pain vs. [B]Roberto Milano[/B] [I]I have a bit of a soft spot for Milano after all the jobbing he did on my last diary game[/I] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player [/B]vs. Burning EXILE [I]Puffy is a guy I like, but hate his persona and gimmick. EXILE is here as a talented guy that won't stick around and therefore can put others over.[/I] White Knight vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] [I]I'll take Beauchamp simply because I prefer him.[/I] Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Toby Juan Kanobi[/B] [I]I'll go with TK here. Jed High interferes and either costs TJK the match or causes a DQ. I'll go with the DQ.[/I] Bam Bam Johansson & Geena The Warrior Princess vs. [B]Khoklov & Mystery Partner [/B](Miss Information) [I]I would so hate to see this match. Mixed tag including muscle bound freaks! I'll go with Khoklov as the slightly more talented muscle bound freak.[/I] Haiti Voodude vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal Title [I]The Fig picks up another routine title defence. Don't think the voodoo man will be the one to win it from him.[/I]