Enygmatic: Supreme Wrestling Federation Diary

[Discotheque]

"Hey! You can't be back here if you aren't an employee!" "Mr. Eisen, I do work here. I've worked for you for years." I reach into my bag and pull out my mask. I am neither annoyed nor amused. I've already done this twice this week. "Oh, it's you, Enygma. You know, without your mask I can't recognize you!" Richard Eisen laughs at this, much like he does to all of his own jokes. He has a deep, loud laugh that's right on the edge of fake and insane. I doubt he knows for sure which it is. Such is Richard Eisen. "See you around, boss." I say this and make myself small. There is hope I can escape his clutches. "Actually, Enygma, I was wondering if you could do me a favor..." Doing Richard Eisen a favor meant two things: an unpleasant task followed by an excessive reward. I once dog sat my way to a title. No joke. "For you, Mr. Eisen, anything." "Good, good. You can book tonight's show. I'm going fishing!" "Mr. Eisen, it's January. In Wisconsin." "All the better to sneak up on those gilled bastards!" I just smiled and nodded. A crazy boss and a sane boss have one thing in common: they both sign checks. "So, how do you book the world's largest wrestling company?" I said this to no one in particular. Then, I panicked.

[Discotheque]

"Who put you in charge?" Big Smack Scott was never one to mince words under the best of circumstances. When given a chance to bully presented itself, he was in rare form. "Mr. Eisen did. He said he was going fishing." I said sheepishly. Scott was not someone I had a lot of confidence around. "Fishing? Fishing? I seriously doubt that, boy!" Smock was leaning in deep. His breath was unpleasant. "Scotty! What's going on?" bellowed Barry Bowen. His hands were on Scott's neck in a less than friendly manner, no matter how wide he was smiling. "Nothing, Train, nothing at all. Just asking the kid why he's booking tonight. He fed me some line about Eisen going fishing tonight!" "That is awfully strange, since I saw Richard with an armful of poles and a box that said 'Explosives.'" Train squeezed Scott until his face was red, then he released. Big Smack scampered away, but I know he will be back. "You know he'll be back, right? Smack tries to muscle whoever has the book, even the Eisens. I just like to make sure people know who can keep them... safe." Barry winked, but he didn't need to. I got the message. Avoid Big Smack Scott and trust Runaway Train. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

[lazorbeak]

I like the idea, but I have to say, so far I haven't much cared for your characterization of Enygma. The guy's a former SWF World champion, and a good friend of Richard Eisen, so it's just bizarre to see him acting exactly like random guy given the book #382, being intimidated by workers and not being recognized with a strong friend of his because he's not wearing his mask.

[Discotheque]

My characterization of Enygma as an outsider backstage is based on him being sort of a fluke World Champion and not seen as a lifer like say, Christian Faith. There will be pay off for Richard acting so loopy.

[Discotheque]

So, is anyone else put off by my version of Enygma? Should I pack it in and try again? I would hate to waste my or anyone's time.

[1PWfan]

I don't mind. Enygma's often overlooked as a character, so anything's good by me. Plus, bonkers Eisen? Always fun. My advice is nto to be put off by reception. Most people won't post if they don't mind something, so I'd only drop this if you get a lot of negative feedback.

[lazorbeak]

[QUOTE=Discotheque;491348]So, is anyone else put off by my version of Enygma? Should I pack it in and try again? I would hate to waste my or anyone's time.[/QUOTE] It's not like it's not something that can be improved; you haven't even posted a show yet. Just keep in mind that you're dealing with a well-connected professional athlete, not some easily intimidated rookie or unknown backstage guy. I just can't imagine any professional athlete taking kindly to the way he was treated by BSS, especially if they had any position of power within the company. Plus, Enygma's in his 30's, and was winning titles in the #1 promotion in the world while BSS was beating up nobodies for some second rate indy.

[Regis]

I like the way you're writing him. It's cool and funny, and works for someone pushed beyond his talent level and feeling ridiculously out of his depth.

[Phantom Stranger]

[QUOTE=lazorbeak;491049]I like the idea, but I have to say, so far I haven't much cared for your characterization of Enygma. The guy's a former SWF World champion, and a good friend of Richard Eisen, so it's just bizarre to see him acting exactly like random guy given the book #382, being intimidated by workers and not being recognized with a strong friend of his because he's not wearing his mask.[/QUOTE] The mask bit I pretty much read as analogous to Vince's famous predilection for 'jokes' down to the description of the laugh. And everyone is scared of Big Smack Scott. They've seen his injury rate.

[Discotheque]

[QUOTE=Phantom Stranger;491965]The mask bit I pretty much read as analogous to Vince's famous predilection for 'jokes' down to the description of the laugh. And everyone is scared of Big Smack Scott. They've seen his injury rate.[/QUOTE] That is exactly what I was shooting for. Richard= Legit nuts boss and Big Smack Scott scares the Hell out of me and he's fictional, a real BSS would be terrifying.

[Phantom Stranger]

Anyway, my vote says continue.

[Discotheque]

[I]Taken from the notebook of Enygma:[/I] Supreme TV 10,000 Fans- SELL OUT! Wisconsin Gardens Commentators: Peter Michaels Duane Fry Emma Chase [B]Dark Matches[/B] [I]Robbie Retro vs. Frederique Antonio Garcia[/I] A try out match for both men, to see what they are capable of. Surprisingly, both Retro and Freddy showed themselves to be suitable midcarders. [B]Winner: Robbie Retro[/B] [B][I]Rating: C+[/I][/B] [I]Greg Rayne vs. Marc DuBois (c)[/I] [I]SWF Shooting Star Title Match[/I] A gimme defense for Marc and a test to see if Greg need some more time in Rhode Island. I am not sold. [B]Winner and STILL Champion: Marc DuBois[/B] [B][I]Rating: D+[/I][/B] [I]Death Row vs. the Samoan Wildboyz[/I] Two up and coming tag teams. This is a pure practice match. [B]Winners: the Samoan Wildboyz[/B] [B][I]Rating: D[/I][/B] [I]Jack Giedroyc vs. Lobster Warrior[/I] A chemistry test. Lobster Warrior came out of this looking good. [B]Winner: Lobster Warrior[/B] [B][I]Rating: C+[/I][/B] [B][SIZE="5"]Show Time![/SIZE][/B] [I]Enforcer Roberts vs. Steve Frehley[/I] The SWF stalwart Enforcer Roberts and the former phenomenon Steve Frehley match up well. Enforcer puts up a noble fight, but the Dark Destroyer hits a Frehley's Comet on Roberts and it's all over. [B]Winner: Steve Frehley[/B] [B][I]Rating: B[/I][/B] [I]Here Comes the Almighty Dollar![/I] Remo and Rich Money hit the ring and assault the exhausted Steve Frehley. Frehley puts up a noble defense, but he is overwhelmed. Eric Eisen and I storm the ring and clean house! We help Steve to his feet and yell at the fleeing Almighty Dollar. Rich Money: "Enygma! Eric Eisen! You want us so bad, why not make it official?" Eric Eisen: "You're on! Ring the bell!" [I][B]Rating: B[/B][/I] [I]Eric Eisen and Enygma vs. the Almighty Dollar[/I] The team of Eisen and I are enthusiastic but the Almighty Dollar are an established tag team. A low bridge by Enforcer Roberts leaves Eric isolated against Remo and Rich. The Destroyer ends it. [B]Winners: the Almighty Dollar[/B] [B][I]Rating: B-[/I][/B] [I]Valiant vs. Vengeance[/I] The veteran Vengeance lets the gifted youngster get some offense, but he never gets too worried and a shot with his chain gets Valiant bloody and pinned. [B]Winner: Vengeance[/B] [B][I]Rating: B-[/I][/B] [I]'Big Money' Brandon James and Emma Chase Come To The Ring[/I] Big Money: "Wisconsin in January... Who's bright idea was that? Luckily for me, the Big Money Player, I have something to keep me warm at night..." Emma looks up at Brandon lustily. Big Money: "All this money!" Emma looks dejected. Big Money: "Oh, and Emma, too. Thing is, I don't have an opponent for tonight. Not one of the 'Supreme Superstars' in the back is willing to step up to the 'Big Money Player,' so I have to give them a reason to." Brandon looks down at Emma and smiles. She beams. Big Money: "So, the first person to come down here and take the 'Big Money Challenge' has this task: beat me in five minutes and you get..." Brandon spins Emma around in place, showing off her assets. Big Money: "Emma Chase! For one night, you get the services of Emma Chase. But, if I beat you, I get one thing of yours. My choice!" [I][B]Rating: C+[/B][/I] [I]Big Smack Scott Storms to the Ring[/I] Big Smack Scott: "Well, well, well it looks like the Big Cat has a bit of catnip he'd like to give me. Let's do this thing!" Big Money: "You're on, Smack! If you win, you get Emma Chase for the night. When I win, though, I get something near and dear to your heart. Big Smack Scott, if you lose, I get to change your name to one of my choosing." Big Smack Scott: "Deal! Ring the bell!" Emma Chase looks horrified. [B][I]Rating: B-[/I][/B] [I]'Big Money' Brandon James vs. Big Smack Scott[/I] [I]Big Money Challenge Match[/I] Big Smack comes on fast and hard, Pearl Harboring Big Money early. Not one to shrink from a challenge, Brandon throws a low blow to slow down Big Smack. As the timer counts down, Big Smack tries to get a flash pin on Brandon. A thumb to the eye followed by a Big Money ove ends Big Smack's night and his career as Big Smack Scott. [B]Winner: 'Big Money' Brandon James[/B] [B][I]Rating: C[/I][/B] [I]The Biggz Boyz vs. the Amazing Bumfholes (c)[/I] [I]SWF Tag Team Title Match[/I] The young veterans Bart and Brett Biggz come to the ring with the gorgeous Jessie and look confident. The Amazing Bumfholes carry their titles to the ring and look serious. So much drama and such an awful match. Bart ends it with a Biggz Up! Man, Brett Biggz needs some help... [B]Winners and NEW Champions: the Biggz Boyz[/B] [I][B]Rating: D+[/B][/I] [I]Squeeky McClean Comes to the Ring[/I] Squeeky: "Ugh, this city is disgusting! I wondered how you people lived in such a cesspool, then I looked around and realized: what better home for a bunch of turds than a toilet like this!" Squeeky soaks in the boos. Squeeky: "Speaking of filth, the SWF has been cursed by the filthy specter of Jack Bruce and his world title reign. I, Squeeky Fortesque Milhouse Fernando McClean, Esquire, hereby challenge you to a match for that dirty belt around your waist. Do you accept, Jack-O?" [B][I]Rating: C+[/I][/B] [I]Here Comes Jack![/I] 'Sunshine of Your Love' by Cream starts playing and Jack Bruce comes down to the ring, very slowly. He is all smiles and he has his belt over his shoulder. Jack Bruce: "Hello Wisconsin!" Cheap pop. Jack Bruce: "So Squeezy McCheezy wants a match with me, the SWF's sexiest superstar? How can I say no to that face?" Jack's smile disappears. Jack Bruce: "You want to catch a case, you got it!" [I][B]Rating: B+[/B][/I] [I]Squeeky McClean vs. Jack Bruce (c)[/I] [I]SWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/I] Squeeky and Jack go at it tooth and nail to start. They go full speed and give the crowd a PPV level match. Jack gets a flash New York Minute and Squeeky gets smashed. [I]Winner and STILL Champion: Jack Bruce[/I] [I][B]Rating: B+[/B][/I] [B]Final Show Rating: B-[/B] [B]TV Rating: 3.03[/B] All in all, a decent show. I think I can do better.

[Discotheque]

From SWF.com: What name should Big Money give Big Smack? A) Tampax LeDouche B) the Vagisil Warrior C) Mr. Smackupagus

[Regis]

A! I vote for A! And... The Biggz Boys? Winning the titles - off the BUMFHOLES? Man, what? (Still a good show - looking forward to seeing how it pans out.)

[Phantom Stranger]

[QUOTE=Discotheque;492111]From SWF.com: What name should Big Money give Big Smack? A) Tampax LeDouche B) the Vagisil Warrior C) Mr. Smackupagus[/QUOTE] A. Man, a BSS feud. Awesome.

[Discotheque]

Backstage at Wisconsin Gardens. "Wow, E., that was a great show! It's just..." "I know, Elmo, I didn't give you guys a match. I gave High Concept and Christian Faith and Runaway Train the night off. To be honest, I just don't know what to do with you." "What do you mean, Enygma? We're the best tag team in the SWF! We should be in the hunt!" I mull this over for a second, thinking about the weak tag division. Truth is, they are the best tag team we've got. Thing is, I can't find anything for them to do. I guess I should be happy that Kurt Laramee interrupted us. Should be, but I'm not. "What the Hell, Enygma! You gave Big Smack Scott two segments and you can't even give me a dark match? What the Hell? I'm a franchise player! I'm--" If I was thinking clearly, this would not have happened. Too much stress, not enough rest. I hit Kurt Laramee across the face with a back hand slap. This is going to make the dirt sheets. "Kurt! You need to shut up, now. If you had asked me, you know, like a human being, I would have told you that you have a match next week. It was going to be Greg Rayne, but now..." Kurt is steaming mad. He wants to hit me back, but he knows I'm the boss. Scott would have hit back. "Kurt, you get to wrestle Brandon James next week. Hardcore. Now get out of here!" Kurt thinks about hitting me, but he shakes it off and walks away. I really shouldn't have done that. I mean, it's not like Elmo Benson is going to save my ass. "Whoa, Enygma dude, you just jacked Kurt Laramee! I heard he killed a dude!" "Elmo, that might be the dumbest thing I've ever done, but Kurt never killed anyone. I think it was Sayeed Ali that shot that guy..." With that, I pick up my bags and head to the hotel to meet up with Groucho, Eric, and Steve to see what kind of hijinks we can get into. I heard Groucho totally brought some peppermint schnapps!

[Regis]

Poor Enygma. This is going to go horribly wrong for him. I hope. :)

[Rob4590]

Interesting first show - I've got no problem with the Biggz's winning the tag titles etc. But unless this last backstage post was a way of telling of a backstage incident that happened in the game, then it makes everything rather inconsistent - a few posts earlier, you had Enygma s**t scared of BSS, and then now he gives BSS's tag partner, Laramee, a slap, for just being annoyed at not appearing on a show? WTF? :confused: Either the guy is a wimp or he isn't - he can't be both!!! And no, claiming stress / tiredness isn't a reason for that.

[Discotheque]

He had enough and over reacted. Or I was too tired when I wrote that... But yeah, that was a slap on the wrist in response to one of many backstage incidents. Plus, Enygma was not scared of Big Smack Scott, just taken off guard by someone he knew treating him differently.

[Discotheque]

[B]The Morning After...[/B] I wake up in High Concept's hotel room. My head is spinning from too much peppermint schnapps and Wii Tennis. My cell phone rings. I love the theme from Alfred Hitch**** Presents. "Hello." mumble mumble mumble I slept with my mask on. Again. I pull it up so my ear is free. "Sorry, what was that?" "So, how do you like being boss, Enygma?" It's Richard Eisen. He sounds calm for a man who went out fishing in Wisconsin in January. "Umm, well, Richard, it was... hectic." "Hectic? I bet it was Hell. So, what did Scott, Kurt, and Remo do to tick you off so much?" "Scott tried to muscle me into pushing him, Kurt was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Remo... I have no idea what Remo did." "Not according to the Internets. According to the Internets, you gave him the riot act for messing with Chief Two Eagles." "I said 'Hey, Remo, lay off the Chief.' and he walked off. That doesn't seem like much of a riot act." "Good thing he didn't ask you for a match." The Kurt Laramee thing. Truth is, if you ever met Kurt Laramee, you would understand. There are people that you slap because they make you mad and then there are people you slap because they look like they need a good slapping. Then there's Kurt Laramee. Kurt demands to be slapped on a regular basis, I just happened to be weak enough to do it. "Look, about Laramee..." "Good for you, Enygma! If you are going to keep being the boss, you've got to be just sane enough to respect and just crazy enough to be feared. So, what's Train been like?" "Barry's been... well, he's been Barry." "Whatever you do, do not give him the belt! Barry is box office poison! I love the guy but seriously, what the Hell! Oh, and no promos, either! Make the Guru earn that money." "Wait! What do you mean 'keep being boss'? Aren't you coming back this week?" "About that... well... um..." Richard Eisen starts making static sounds with his mouth. "I'm breaking up... must be a tunnel... good luck..." I hang up the phone. Crap.

[Discotheque]

SWF Commercial: On the next SFW Supreme TV, can Jack Bruce fight off the challenge of... Runaway Train! Can Jack Giedroyc stop Vengeance's reign of terror? Will the Biggz Boyz be able to take down High Concept? And who will be next to take on the Big Money Challenge? Find out on the next Supreme TV, check your local listings.

[Discotheque]

Supreme TV Evanovich Riverside 10,000 SELL OUT! [B]Dark Matches[/B] [I]Rich Money vs. Robbie Retro[/I] [I]North American Title Match[/I] A little warm-up for Rich Money. Robbie held up pretty well and might be moved to the big show soon. [B]Winner: Rich Money[/B] [B][I]Rating: C+[/I][/B] [I]Frederique Antonio Garcia vs. Joe Sexy[/I] Frederique and Joe are both pretty blah in the ring. This match proved it. [B]Winner: Joe Sexy[/B] [B][I]Rating: D+[/I][/B] [I]Death Row vs. the Samoan Wildboyz[/I] Two upward bound tag teams. I think the Samoans have a little more mobility, at the moment. [B]Winners: Samoan Wildboyz[/B] [B][I]Rating: D[/I][/B] [I]Enforcer Roberts vs. Valiant[/I] This is a chance for the veteran Roberts to show Valiant a few things. Enforcer gets the win. [B]Winner: Enforcer Roberts[/B] [B][I]Rating: C[/I][/B] [B][SIZE="5"]THE MAIN SHOW STARTS![/SIZE][/B] [I]Lobster Warrior vs. ?[/I] Lobster Warrior comes to the ring and waits for his opponent. The ring announcer calls out the name of Lobby's opponent... [B]TAMPAX LeDOUCHE![/B] The former Big Smack Scott comes to the ring wearing a purple mask and hanging his head humiliated. The crowd is laughing hysterically. Lobster Warrior makes quick work of the unfocused Tampax. Lobster hits the Lobster Trap and Tampax LeDouche goes down. [B]Winner: Lobster Warrior[/B] [B][I]Rating B- (No, really! A B- Big Smack Scott match?!?[/I][/B] [I]Big Money Challenge[/I] Brandon James: "Now that you pukes know the rules, who wants to come down to this ring and try to earn the services of the lovely Emma Chase? Anyone of you losers have a spine?" [B][I]Rating: C[/I][/B] [I]Kurt Laramee's Music Plays...[/I] Kurt Laramee: "You want to come out here runnin' your mouth about this and that, but I remember who you really are. Back in DaVE, there was this little girl who hid behind the Wolverine and let him do all the hard work while she sat on the apron looking good for the crowd. Yeah, Big Cat Brandon, I know who you really are. So, let's make this for keeps? You and me, DaVE Rules!" Brandon James: "Deal! You win and Emma goes home with you tonight. I win and I get your name and I get to pick your new tag team partner. Ring that bell!" [I][B]C+[/B][/I] [I]Kurt Laramee vs. 'Big Money' Brandon James[/I] [I]Hardcore Match[/I] Big Money and Laramee throw every weapon they can get their hands on at each other. They both get busted open and are bleeding profusely. Kurt gets a thumb to the eye and a Big Money Move to end it. [B]Winner: 'Big Money' Brandon James[/B] [B][I]Rating: C-[/I][/B] [I]High Concept vs. the Biggz Boyz (c)[/I] [I]SWF Tag Team Title Match[/I] High Concept use their speed and agility to out flank the Biggz Boyz. Elmo Benson gets the upper hand and hits a Game Over to end the match. Everyone is shocked! [B]Winners and NEW Champions: High Concept[/B] [B][I]Rating: C-[/I][/B] [I]Remo Sees Steve Frehley Backstage...[/I] Remo chases Steve around the corner and gets ambushed by Enygma and Eric Eisen. The three of them put the boots to Remo. All three walk off, smiling. [B][I]Rating: B[/I][/B] [I]Zimmy Bumfhole vs. Marc DuBois (c)[/I] [I]Shooting Star Title Match[/I] Zimmy throws a few moves at Marc, but the French Canadian Superstar is difficult to keep down. Zimmy misses a dropkick and a Model Solution puts him down. [B]Winner and STILL Champion: Marc DuBois[/B] [B][I]Rating: C-[/I][/B] [I]Eric Eisen, Enygma, and Steve Frehley Come to the Ring![/I] All three are wearing blank black t-shirts, jeans, and have taped fists. Eric Eisen: "You know, I am tired of all the men around here who think they can break any rule at any time and get away with it. They think they can do whatever they want to anyone they want. Well, I am sick of it! I want to do something about it so..." Enygma: "So... he told me about how ticked off he was with the state of this company. Rich Money, Remo, Enforcer Roberts, Vengeance, and Runaway Train all run around like they own the place. That ends today. We are here to..." Steve Frehley: "Put an end to all the shenanigans. This company is now under the protection of..." All Three: "The Black Shirt Mafia!" All three walk off, looking confident. [I][B]Rating: B-[/B][/I] [I]Vengeance vs. Jack Giedroyc[/I] Vengeance throws Jack around like a rag doll. It is only through shear force of will that Giedroyc gets any offense. A few kicks and a wicked Skull Krusher put Giedroyc away for one... two... No! Giedroyc won't go down! Unfortunately, the wily veteran grabs a handful of tights and gets the pin. [B]Winner: Vengeance[/B] [B][I]Rating: B-[/I][/B] [I]Christian Faith Has The Mic![/I] Faith: "That is it! Vengeance, I am sick of you flouting the rules and cheating at every turn. At 'When Hell Freezes Over' I will destroy you! This reign of terror is over!" [B][I]Rating: A[/I][/B] [I]Squeeky McClean is Cleaning the Locker Room[/I] Squeeky is dusting the locker room. He finds that Jack Bruce's locker is unlocked. He starts cleaning the title belt. He is hypnotized by the gold. He smiles and runs away with it. [I][B]Rating: B-[/B][/I] [I]Runaway Train vs. Jack Bruce (c)[/I] [I]SWF Heavyweight Title Match[/I] Train tries to control Jack Bruce, but Bruce is too powerful. They trade blows, but a New York Minute ends it. [B]Winner and STILL Champion: Jack Bruce[/B] [B][I]Rating: B-[/I][/B] [I][B]Show Rating: B-[/B][/I] [B][I]TV RAting: 2.79[/I][/B]

[Discotheque]

SWF Commercial: Who can triumph? Who can be the man? Can Faith overcome Vengeance? Can the Black Shirt Mafia defeat Rich Money's Posse? Will the Biggz Boyz return to form in a Tables match with High Concept? Find out what happens... When Hell Freezes Over!

[Discotheque]

I was eating a $5 foot long from Subway when I saw a shadow over my shoulder. I looked up and saw Brandon James, recipient of my biggest push. He looked like he had been crying. "Enygma, man, we need to talk." Crap.

[Discotheque]

I took Brandon James out of the arena and we sat in his car. It cost more than my house. Seriously. I didn't even know they made snakeskin seats. "What's the problem, Big Cat?" He looks hurt. Crap, I called him Big Cat, again. I open my mouth to correct myself and he waves me off. "Look, Enygma, I knew that the boys would haze me for getting the kind of contract I got. I get that. But this..." "What?" "Akima Brave told some website that I'm getting my push because you and I are 'Special Friends' backstage." "But we are friends, Brandon. I mean, we totally played Wii last night." "Yeah, we're friends E, but that's not what he means. He means the kind of friends who do... favors for each other." I thought about this for a second, then I remembered the time I took care of his prized champion corgi Tom Jones for a few days. "You mean like when I watched Tom Jones for a week and you got me that watch? That watch is sweet!" Brandon shook his hand slowly. He was talking with his hands. "Look, Enygma, they mean we are... you know Frederique? They are saying yo and I are like Frederique." "Snazzy dressers? I don't think I've ever worn a feather boa." "Dude, Enygma, I mean they think you and I have sex." "Brandon, you know I totally hooked up with that chick in Detroit." "With each other." My eyes got wide. I took a deep breath and looked Brandon square in the eye. "Brandon, I think I know who the next 'Big Money Challenge' contestant is." Brandon cracked his knuckles.