(CVerse97) How Did I End Up Here?

[mrnoun]

Prelude I was never much of a drinker in my younger days, but I've found myself drifting in that direction more and more as the years pass. Thus, it was under predictable circumstances that The Bastard found me. I call him The Bastard, but really, I was one of the few guys in the business who could tolerate the sunuva, and I think he knew it. Why else would he have tracked me down to this dingy hellhole? Without a word, he slid into the chair across from me -- I always take a table these days, the barstools wreak havoc on my poor back -- and signalled the waitress. "What the hell do you want, Rude?" I asked him. He had the temerity to look taken aback. "Can't a guy grab a couple drinks with an old friend, Johnny?" "What the hell do you want, Rude?" I asked him. At that point, the waitress arrived, interrupting further discussion. The Bastard didn't even bother to buy the round. How the hell did I end up here? -- [i]So there I was, maybe 5 miles outside Flagstaff, when the sky broke open. Now I don't know how much you know about Flagstaff, but it's mountain country. Lots of little, winding roads and steep drops. Not a good place to be caught in a sudden storm if you aren't sure your breaks are any good. Trust me, I learned the hard way. I was an East coast boy, never been out that way except maybe once or twice to work CZCW, which is why I was headed out that way that day. This would've been late '91... mid-October, I want to say. CZCW was pretty new in those days, I remember that much. Was gonna be my first show back after the knee surgery, and I wanted to make sure I was on time, because Cliffy was still ticked at me about the no-show last time I was out that way. So I was pushing it, even though I was tired, and it was getting pretty late. Of course, as the old saying goes, better late than never, so I decided to take it a bit slow until the storm blew over... assuming it would. I don't know much about Arizona thunderstorms. So I went to ease off the gas pedal. And my knee locked up. "What the hell?" I actually said out loud, which is kind of funny if you think about it because I was the only one in the car at the time. Ha. Ha. Now, I don't know about you, but my dad taught me when you drive, your right foot handles the pedals, and your left don't do much ('nless it's a standard). So there I was, my right foot lodged firmly on the gas pedal, my knee screaming at me as I tried to flex it enough to move it, my left foot stumbling wildly trying to catch the brake pedal from an unnatural (to me) angle, the roads soaked slick from the storm. That's about when I spun out. And that's pretty much all I remember for a little bit. Oh, and I didn't make it to the CZCW show, but I think Cliff understood this time.[/i] -- "I have a job for you." "I'm out of the business, Rude." "It's a real good deal. We're gonna make a mint." "You say that every time." "No, seriously, Johnny. This time I've got everything all worked out. Got the guys all lined up, even got a TV slot." "Really? Heh. Well, I have to admit, I'm a bit impressed." "See? You--" "Usually, your plans are too stupid to get that far." "This time's different, Johnny, I swear it." "Why am I not convinced? Maybe it's because I've met you before?" The Bastard was always an animated fellow, bouncing around with excitement whenever he concocted some new scheme that inevitably led to me getting bilked out of my money. So I was a little taken aback to see him suddenly sag in his seat. He looked deflated, maybe even defeated. He took a long drink, and stared at the floor for a few moments, before speaking again. "Look, John. I know I'm a bastard. I've made a lot of enemies. I don't have many guys I can trust. In fact, you're pretty much it," he looked up at me. "I'm in it pretty deep, John. This new project... hasn't gone so well. I don't know what happened." He shook his head, looking genuinely confused. "There are some decent kids dropped their savings into this thing, and they're gonna get wiped out when the creditors come in a couple months. Someone's gotta come in and bail us out before that happens. I need you, John." Now that sounded more like the Trenton Evenrud I knew, the lying sack of.... Anyway, his story about the plight of his young victims truly touched my heartstrings, as I had certainly been there before myself. But all that crap about "trusting" me left a bitter taste in my mouth. "Rude, you know I'm out of the business. You know WHY I left the business. I don't work anymore. I don't even watch the shows anymore. I'm out. Through. There's nothing I could do to help you even if I wanted to. I'm sorry, but I think this conversation is over." "Wait! I don't need you to wrestle. I need someone who knows what he's doing to run things. Maybe you haven't been following wrestling lately, but dammit, no one knew wrestling better than you did. I remember. It hasn't changed that much." Run a company... I was, I must admit, a little tempted. "How deep are you in?" He smiled, no doubt believing he had his hooks in me yet again. And dammit, he was right. But his smile disappeared pretty quickly when he realized he actually had to answer me. "250 large," he said, though at least he had the decency to look embarrassed. I whistled. "That's a lotta ground to make up in... what, two months? Maybe three, tops? What would I have to work with?" He smiled again, this time genuinely. "I got Barris." "The Rev? I thought he got out not long after I did? How'd you scam him back in?" "And you said you stopped following the business. I told him I'd let the kids he was training get some work on national TV. And you know if Barris trained them, they can't be THAT bad." "True, true..." Rev was an old friend of mine, one of the few I had in the business. Maybe I could pull this thing off... "Offer me lots of money." "Uh... the whole point is, I don't have lots of money to offer." "Say it anyways." "I'll give you lots of money." "Deal." In retrospect, I should have at least asked the name of the promotion before signing up.

[mrnoun]

How Did I End Up Here? An Interactive Cornellverse '97 Diary. FAQ Who is the user character? -For this diary, I will be playing as Johnathan Graven, a former indy star from the late 70's and 80's who was forced to retire following a terrible car accident in 1991. Bitter about the chain of events that led to his retirement, Graven left the business, seemingly for good. But in late 1996, an old "friend" of his, Trenton Evenrud, contacted him to save Evenrud's struggling promotion, Awesome Max Wrestling, which was on the verge of bankruptcy. Against his better judgement, Graven allowed himself to be scammed once again by the charismatic Evenrud. Awesome Max Wrestling? What's that? -AMW is one of the standard promotions included in the Cornellverse '97 Mod. Their product definition is "Wrestlecrap", to give you an idea of what I'll be working with. AMW also includes several new workers not available in the standard Cverse data, including Trenton Evenrud and The Rev from the opening post. I will try to provide proper profiles for them as they appear, so those who haven't played '97 can follow along. So how is this an interactive diary? -Well, it's pretty simple. I like Owner Goals. Owner Goals are a cool addition to the game. But they sometimes get a little... uncreative. Especially when the owner is a real bastard like Trenton Evenrud. So guess what? You, the readers, get to be The Bastard! I probably won't be able to work in ALL the suggestions, but I'll certainly try to fit in the creative and funny ones. Okay, so it's not THAT interactive. But I think it could be fun. My first Owner Goal: avoid bankruptcy. Feel free to find ways to make that a little more difficult...

[FINisher]

I think that you won't need any more owner goals than to avoid bankruptcy. :D AMW is challenging. This is just an idea and one that you may want to consider: Dropping the tv-show at once. 'Cause it's going to cost you a lot.

[Phantom Stranger]

My simple request: Book Archangel and Joel Kovach in a way deserving of Scapino, while fitting to the product. That's about as bastard as it gets, I'm afraid.

[Astil]

I haven't look at CV 97 yet ( I know, I know) however. Find Scott Sinclair. Hire Scott Sinclair. Push Scott Sinclair.

[Phantom Stranger]

[QUOTE=Astil;515789]I haven't look at CV 97 yet ( I know, I know) however. Find Scott Sinclair. Hire Scott Sinclair. Push Scott Sinclair.[/QUOTE] He's already on the roster.

[Astil]

[QUOTE=Phantom Stranger;515791]He's already on the roster.[/QUOTE] PUSH SCOTT SINCLAIR!

[foolinc]

[QUOTE=Astil;515789]I haven't look at CV 97 yet ( I know, I know) however. Find Scott Sinclair. Hire Scott Sinclair. Push Scott Sinclair.[/QUOTE] The fact you haven't looked at the mod is very sad. Good luck with AMW. Never played as them, but it's got to be a challenge since the AI can't keep them above water (though the AI sucks at financials in comparison to a human).

[mrnoun]

Why did I get on that flight? I should have known better. I should have known the moment The Bastard handed me the airline ticket. Any flight whose destination is "Wichita Mid-Continent Airport" can only end in disaster. Maybe not the kind where they comb the fiery wreckage for survivors, but at the very least the kind where at the end of the flight, you're in Wichita. The next little surprise The Bastard had in store for me was waiting at the airport. She was good enough looking, I suppose, though a little young for me. Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about that, as she was no exactly thrilled to meet me. In fact, while she was giving me a ride from the airport to Evenrud's office, I got the impression she didn't like me at all. It turned out I had taken her job. It also turned out that she was just 16. It further turned out that she, in fact, was too young to have a driver's license. I resolved to discuss these issues with Mr. Evenrud. "You had a 16-year-old girl running the company?" "No, no, no!" "Well, then, what was--" "She was only 15 when I gave her the job." I stopped to rub my temples, feeling a headache larger than the typical stuck-in-Wichita kind coming on. "Why?" "Why not?" Evenrud shrugged, and went back to the magazine he'd been flipping through. "Look, could you talk to her or something? It's going to be hard enough to do this job as is." "Look," he mimicked. "I hired you, Johnny boy, so I wouldn't have to deal with this crap anymore. You want Ms. Triton dealt with, you deal with her yourself. Got it?" "Look," I sneered in return. "I don't recall signing a written contract. You want me to bail you out, how's about you don't make it any harder than it has to be?" He looked nervous. "I didn't mean to snap at you, Johnny. Really! It's just, Devorah's one of those kids I was telling you about. You know, the ones I scammed out of their life savings? There's no way she'd listen to me about anything. I'm sorry. You're gonna have to handle it yourself." His nervous look started verging on panic. "In fact, you should probaby run and do that right now! She should be in your new office at the end of the hall, packing up her stuff. If you hurry, you might catch her!" Caught up in the emotion of his outburst, I started to go. Then I thought about what he'd said, and turned back. "Wait... she's just packing up now? When exactly did you tell her?" "Um... right before your flight landed." I stared at him. "You're a bastard, Rude." He gave a sheepish look. I slammed the door behind me. Halfway down the hall, I realized I still hadn't even asked him the name of the company. *** "Hi," I said. She looked up, glared at me, and went back to throwing her stuff into a cardboard box. Apparently, she wasn't going to make this easy. I wondered how much longer my patience would last. "Hey, can we start over? We're going to be stuck working together, might as well be civil. It's Ms. Triton, right?" She stopped packing and gave me a cold look. "Devorah." At least she was showing a bit of professionalism about it; impressive enough for a 16-year-old. "Nice to meet you, Devorah. I'm--" "I know who you are, Mr. Graven. I've been watching wrestling my whole life. I'm not some dumb kid like everyone seems to think. Stop treating me like one." I put my hands up defensively and took a step back. "Hey, I'm not treating you like anything. I don't even know you." "Oh come on. I heard you down the hall, yelling at Evenrud about me. 'A sixteen-year-old!' Well, screw you, too." "What, that? That was nothing to do with you. No, seriously. I was just pissed at The Bastard for dropping me into this without any warning, you know?" She gave me a cynical look, but at least she was hearing me out. "Okay... maybe it was a little bit about you. But that was surprise more than anything. The thing is, we're stuck working together, right? You've been here a lot longer than I have, you probably know what's up. I'm gonna need your help." Somewhere around there, I realized I was echoing Evenrud's pitch to me about needing my help. That was about the limit of my patience. "Look, kid," I snapped, holding up a finger as she tried to interrupt me. "Yes, kid. You're a kid 'til you show me you can be a professional about this. You still want a job, or are you gonna go sulk?" I felt a little guilty about the 'professionalism' jab, when her professionalism had been impressing me just a minute earlier. But only a little guilty. Evenrud must have been rubbing off on me. She stared at me. "You're a bastard, Graven. You KNOW I can't walk out." "So don't. Do the job right." She thought for a moment, then gave a short nod. Sullen, but willing to work with me. I could live with that. "I need an assistant. I don't even know who's on our roster yet, let alone how to contact them. Would you arrange a meeting so I can introduce myself?" I probably could have handled that better, but at least I've got things rolling. Of course, I'd have been less confident if I'd known my third unpleasant surprise would come at the meeting a couple days later.

[mrnoun]

January 2nd, 1997: Wichita, Kansas. The plan was simple: go in, introduce myself, see who I had to work with, then corner The Rev afterwards to find out if any of these guys were actually any good. At first glance, things didn't look too bad. The Rev was going pretty grey up top, but at least he was still in decent shape. The big kid next to him looked like a bit of a klutz, but at least he had size. There was Rhys Woods, who I recalled was an adequate play-by-play guy. And there was Joel Kovach, who'd been a raw rookie when I was forced out of the business, but at least I could recognize him. A few of the kids looked to be in decent shape, at least. Rev would fill me in on them later. And there was OH F#$*% ME IT'S SCOTT SINCLAIR. The Bastard and I are going to have a long conversation soon. When everyone had settled down and I was over my Sinclair Moment, I spoke. "Afternoon, folks. I'll keep this brief, since we're all probably still in holiday mode. Some of you know me, but for the rest, I'm Johnathan Graven, and I'm your new boss. As you might know, things have not been going well for the company lately, and I've been hired to straighten the financial problems out. This means some changes to how we'll be doing things around here. Now, don't worry, no one's losing their job, and we're sticking to the Friday TV tapings. What we're going to do is see if we can revamp the creative end of things and draw a slightly bigger audience. Any questions?" Sinclair raised his hand. I repressed a shudder. "Pardon me, sir, but I'd just like to be the first to say, welcome aboard! And I look forward to working with you. Also, I'd like to remind you that my contract calls for a run with the world title pretty soon, so you should probably get on that." My Jackass Detector must have been on the fritz; for a moment, I almost believed the first part. "Uh, thank you for the welcome, Scott. We'll cross the title bridge when we get to it; nothing's set in stone on the creative side yet. Anyone else?" Sinclair raised his hand. Again. Dammit. "I was just wondering, boss. Why don't you have a plan in place yet? I don't mean to, you know, imply that you're terrible at your job or anything. But our next TV taping is in just a couple days. Shouldn't you have everything worked out already? I don't think anyone here wants to be stuck scrambling around at the last minute. That'd make you look incompetent and disorganized, and none of us want that!" Sigh. "I'm... glad you asked that, Scott. The fact is, I called a couple old buddies of mine to ask if they wanted to come down and give us a hand here, and I don't want to make any guarantees about what we're planning until I've heard back from them." Not too far from the truth, which was that it's hard to write storylines when you don't even know who's on the roster yet. That reminds me, I need to find out what the company's name is. "Any other questions? No? Good. I'll see you all Friday." "Wait, boss! I have another question!" Ugh. "What is it, Scott?" "Never mind, just kidding." Jackass.

[mrnoun]

Later that afternoon, I met with Rev back at the office. I tend to think of Josh as "the old guy", but in truth, he's only a couple months older than I am. Back in the day, he was actually a minister, so the nick is really just truth in advertising. He dropped out of active competition about the same time I did, but for less... unpleasant... reasons: he liked teaching kids how to work more than he liked actually working. I was glad he was active again, though, because I was going to pretty much be building the promotion around him. "Johnny! Sorry I didn't get a chance to say 'hi' at the meeting, but when I saw the look on your face when Sinclair started gabbing, I figured you'd want to get out of there quick-like," Rev chuckled. It's odd: I'd never had trouble with his thick Alabama accent, even when I was a dumb 20-year-old kid from New England who'd never been south of the Mason-Dixon line before. I guess Rev's always been a good talker. Probably comes from all the practice he used to get every Sunday. "No problem, Rev. Guess I should have known when you're dealing with Evenrud, you gotta take the bad with the good, and there's going to be a lot more of it than you expect. I'm mostly just glad to have a familiar face around. Most of those kids I've never even heard of." "Ha! I knew you didn't ask me to stop by just to go over old times. I figure you want me to give the ol' rundown on who's who?" "Well, that's the downside of working with people who know you," I grinned. "No problem. It's about time I started thinking about retiring and going back to the behind-the-scenes stuff again, anyways," he said. Ah, crud. There went my plans to build the promotion around him. "Let's see... where to start..." I got out a notebook and took down Rev's impressions of our young roster: [B]-Archie Engelberger[/B], or "Archangel" as he was known in the business. A 17-year-old kid from Ohio, fresh out of high school, he'd been suckered into giving Evenrud his life's savings to help start the company. He was the tall, skinny kid I'd seen with Dev at the meeting; turns out they're high school sweethearts. How sickening. Strengths: Was a champion amateur wrestler in high school. Has tons of charisma. Weaknesses: Somewhat green. Doesn't have a lot of variety on offense. Best Case Scenario: Should develop into a strong upper-midcarder. [B]-"Big Smack Scott" Sinclair.[/B] At 28, he's been around the block a couple times, but still has plenty of years left in his prime. His prime being pretty much terrible, though, that doesn't make much difference. Strengths: A very strong gimmick, lots of momentum. Maintains a good physique. Weaknesses: Terrible grasp of the fundamentals. Despite his physique, lacks cardio conditioning. Relies on garbage offense, and isn't even all that good at that. Best Case Scenario: A long, long jail term gets him out of my hair for a couple decades. [B]-Chris "Flash Ox" Gordon[/B]. Another of the kids Evenrud duped. He's just 22, and hasn't even really finished training, but he's been thrown out there on national TV anyways. There's hope for him, but he needs a lot of work. Strengths: Oozes charisma, great looks. Weaknesses: No grasp of fundamentals. Weak, sloppy offense. Badly out of shape. Best Case Scenario: Puts his charisma to good use as a manager/colour commentator. [B]-Corey Smith[/B]. A 17-year-old kid signed out of high school. Hasn't really been properly trained yet. Too small to be a monster-type, too unathletic to be a high-flyer, too talentless to be a mat-wrestler, too bland to be an entertainer. Strengths: Is willing to work hard. Weaknesses: Everything else. Best Case Scenario: Goes back to school and gets a real job. [B]-Edwin D. Bashford[/B]. 19-year-old kid. Has a perfect wrestling name, and plays off it well. Not very good in the ring yet. Strengths: Great ring name, great gimmick. Does a little of everything: brawl, fly, mat-wrestle, talk. Weaknesses: Doesn't do anything above-average yet. Lacks a grasp of the fundamentals. Best Case Scenario: Has a long future as a solid midcarder ahead of him. [B]-"The Slick Pimp Daddy" Ernie Turner[/B]. 22-years-old and already making something of himself. One of our most popular wrestlers, even though he isn't all that great in the ring yet. Strengths: Charismatic. Sells brilliantly. Weaknesses: Doesn't have much of an offense yet. Needs condiditoning work. Best Case Scenario: Will probably have a long career as an undercard comedy guy for someone like SWF. [B]-James Sinclair[/B]. On the bright side, he's just 20 and he's already better than brother Scott. On the minus side, TWO Sinclairs. Just shoot me now. Strengths: Not hopeless as a brawler. Weaknesses: Everything else. Best Case Scenario: Has a little too much of his brother in him to ever really catch on, but if someone ever beat some sense into him, he could actually be pretty good. [B]-Joel Kovach[/B]. At 26, he's already done some work in Japan, where he actually became a minor indy star. He's another one suckered into investing in the company. Strengths: A strong mat wrestler who can also brawl. Tons of charisma, a good look, good conditioning, solid fundamentals. Weaknesses: Not a high-flyer. Lacks stiffness on offense. Best Case Scenario: Out of the whole roster, Kovach has the best chance of turning into a huge star. [B]-Little Bill Lebowski[/B]. A 22-year-old brawler. One of our better workers, which isn't saying much. Strengths: Passable brawler, Not afraid to work stiff. Solid consistency. Weaknesses: Very green. Doesn't look very impressive. Lacks charisma. Best Case Scenario: Someday, he'll be a reliable undercard worker used to make other people into stars. [B]-Mad Dog Mortimer[/B]. 19-year-old kid out of high school. One of our better enhancement assets. Strengths: Rarely has a bad night. Is willing to bump all over the place. Weaknesses: Absolutely zero charisma. Doesn't look like a wrestler. Needs someone else to hold his matches together. Lacks conditioning. Best Case Scenario: I could see him getting over someday as a tag wrestler, with a partner who can shore up his weaknesses. [B]-"The Ladies Man" Roger Dodger[/B]. At 24, one of our 'veterans'. Not a very good wrestler, but he's gotten over thanks to his charisma and his tag work with Ernie Turner. Strengths: Great on the mic. Sells well. Rarely has an off night. Weaknesses: Needs conditioning work. His offense is bland and lacks stiffness. Best Case Scenario: Will probably be working undercard tag matches for SWF within a year. [B]-Haim "Sabbath" Tischler[/B]. The Rev's latest student, Sabbath is just 18 and fresh out of high school, a recurring theme. He's not very good yet, but has two things going for him: he's really, really big, and The Rev is training him. Strengths: Really, really big. Has occasional flashes of charisma. Weaknesses: Not fully trained yet. Lacks conditioning. Needs to work stiffer if he's going to be a monster brawler. Best Case Scenario: If he keeps working hard, he could be a main eventer someday. [B] -Smokey Joe[/B]. A 22-year-old kid. Decent but bland. Strengths: Works stiff. Has hints of charisma. Doesn't have too many off nights. Weaknesses: Bland looking, bland talking, bland wrestling. Best Case Scenario: A long and dull indy career. [B]-Joshua "The Rev" Barris[/B]. At 39, he can still wrestle, though he's well past his prime. Strengths: Strong mat wrestler with charisma and mic skills. Fundamentally solid. Good conditioning. Weaknesses: Lacks star power. Isn't as athletic as he used to be. Doesn't fit our other workers' brawling styles. Best Case Scenario: Could carry the promotion for a few months while we build new stars. [B]-Thomas Goddard[/B]. A 20-year-old kid. Not as green as some of our other kids, which instantly makes him useful. Strengths: Good looking kid. Sells well. Unlikely to injure anyone. Weaknesses: Lacks charisma. Needs conditioning. Needs polish on offense. Best Case Scenario: Bumps enough to get over as an indy worker. [B]"Whisky" Jack McCallister[/B]. A 21-year-old kid who prides himself on being a tough brawler. Strengths: Legitimately tough. Can work stiff without being a major injury risk. Not as green as some guys on the roster. Weaknesses: Lacks charisma. His offense, while stiff, lacks variety. Best Case Scenario: His stiff style would probably work better in Japan, if he were a better wrestler. Probably never makes it past enhancement level in the US. The Breakdown: Main Eventers: Roger Dodger, Ernie Turner, Big Smack Scott Upper Midcard: Archangel, The Rev, Joel Kovach Midcard: Chris Gordon, Whiskey Jack, Smokey Joe, Little Bill Lebowski, Edwin Bashford Lower Midcard: Corey Smith, Sabbath, Thomas Goddard Opener: Mad Dog Mortimer, James Sinclair What a motley assortment. Still, I saw a couple possibilities right away. And I had a couple old favors to call in... --- "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for Eric Tyler. Is he available?" "May I ask who's calling?" "Tell him it's John Graven." "JOHNNY? Oh man, I heard a rumor you were dead!" "I got better." "Ha! You remember Boston in '85?" "Remember? Hell, Every year when the weather gets cold, my shoulder goes stiff all over again. How could I forget?" "Yeah, that was some match, eh?" "Match? I was talking about the rats!" "Still the same old Johnny... let me guess, though: you need my help." "Actually, yeah. Guess who suckered me. Again." "Oh God, you got stuck with the Wichita job, didn't you?" "Yeah... I gotta learn to stop listening to that guy. Any chance you could give me a hand down here? I know it's slumming for you, but I could really use--" I didn't bother finishing. He was laughing to hard to hear me, anyways. After we hung up, I grabbed the notebook and crossed his name off the list. After a moment's thought, I added another entry to the list: [quote] [CENTER]THINGS TO DO:[/CENTER] [LIST=1] [*]Call Eric Tyler [*]Call Freddie Datsun [*]Yell at The Bastard [*]Find Out Name of Promotion[/LIST][/quote]*** In the end, I did manage to convince a couple guys not to hang up on me. And I proved myself prophetic: Roger Dodger signed with SWF on Thursday. On Friday, it would be showtime. CARD for Friday, W1 January: [code]WORLD TITLE: The Rev(c) vs. Edwin D. Bashford #1 Contender's Match: Archangel vs. Joel Kovach TAG TITLES: The Hustlers(c) vs. Thomas Goddard and Smokey Joe Also featuring: Big Smack Scott vs. Freddie Datsun[/code]

[mrnoun]

Friday, week 1 January: Welcome to... wait, seriously? AMW Awesome to the Max? What the hell kind of name is that? The show opens by going straight to the ring! We're all action here on Awesome to the Max! [B]OPENING MATCH: Big Smack Scott vs Freddie Datsun.[/B] Datsun makes his debut tonight against AMW mainstay Big Smack Scott. Datsun controls early with some basic technical wrestling that has Scott confused, until he takes over with a cheap shot off a "clean" break. Scott works him over with his usual assortment of punches and chokes, to the "delight" of the crowd. Thankfully, this ends quickly, when Scott misses a clothesline, allowing Datsun to hit a drop toe-hold and an STF out of nowhere. Before Scott submits, though, James Sinclair runs in and attacks Datsun. [B]RESULT:[/B] Freddie Datsun d. Big Smack Scott via DQ after James Sinclair interferes at 2:52. [B]RATING:[/B] E After the match, the Sinclair brothers continue the attack. Datsun does his best to fight them off, but outnumbered, he's clearly losing. Then Little Bill Lebowski runs in with a chair! And hits Datsun with it? The fight turns to a three-on-one beatdown, and we go to our first commercial break with the Sinclairs and Lebowski celebrating in the ring. [B]RATING: E-[/B] (Bill's heel turn was a complete success) COMMERCIAL #1 Back from the break, we find Thomas Goddard and Smokey Joe waiting in the ring. Thankfully, they don't have mics. The Hustlers' music hits, and we discover that they, on the other hand, do. [QUOTE]Dodger: It's time once again, ladies and gentlemen, though especially the ladies, to witness the greatest spectacle television has to offer, as The Ladies Man and The Slick Pimp Daddy show Tom and Jerry here-- Smokey Joe: Joe. Dodger: ...whatever. Where was I? Ah, hell, you made me lose my place. Turner: I got you covered, broheim. Hey ladies, are you stuck with quote men unquote like these chumps here? Ever wondered what REAL men are like? Allow us to demonstrate for your edification and gratification. [/QUOTE] And with that, the Hustlers hit the ring and the match begins. [B]RATING: C-[/B] [B]MATCH #2: For the AMW World Tag Titles: The Hustlers(c) vs. Thomas Goddard and Smokey Joe.[/B] The match does not go well for the new guys, as they are clearly outclassed by the more experienced champions. After a short match, the Hustlers, firmly in control, start playing with their victims a bit. Things turn ugly, though, when Dodger has ahold of Smokey Joe, setting him up for Turner's Pimp Smack, but Joe ducks out of the way. Turner accidentally levels Dodger, knocking him out of the ring. While Turner goes to check on Dodger, Joe rolls him up from behind for the three count. [B]RESULT:[/B] Thomas Goddard and Smokey Joe d. The Hustlers via pinfall in 2:59 to win the AMW World Tag Titles. [B]RATING: F+[/B] (Tom and Joe have excellent chemistry. Shame they suck) Tom and Joe are smart enough to bail immediately after the match, just in case there are any repercussions. Luckily, Dodger and Turner have other things on their minds. Back in the ring: [QUOTE]Turner: Come on, bro, you know I didn't do it on purpose! Roger: I don't care that you hit me, but you let those chumps beat us on National TV in front of an audience of millions! Turner: Is that all this is about? You know me better than that, broseph... I got it all covered. It's written into our contracts: guaranteed rematch, baby! Roger: Dude, seriously? Turner: Totally. Trust me, bro, I know what I'm doing. [/QUOTE] The two, friends again, share a big smile and a bro-hug. Aww... Then Ernie turns to leave the ring, and Roger nails him from behind with the mic. [QUOTE]Roger: Actually, you really shouldn't have hit me like that.[/QUOTE] With that, Roger leaves Ernie lying in the ring. [B]RATING: C- [/B](Ernie's face turn was a complete success) Devorah Triton is out back, interviewing Freddie Datsun. [QUOTE]Dev: I'm out back, interviewing Freddie Datsun. Freddie, things didn't go so smoothly in your debut match. Do you have any plans to seek revenge? Freddie: Well, you know, Devorah, I've been around the block a couple times, and I've taken my share of beatings. Some of them from guys a lot bigger and tougher than Big Smack Scott. And I always come back. Always. If a guy like Scott Sinclair thinks he can put me down with a half-assed beatdown like that--AAAUUUGH![/QUOTE] Freddie's words are interrupted when Scott and his stooges strike again. The beatdown commences, and Devorah bails on the segment. [QUOTE]Scott: Was this beatdown more to your liking, Mr. Datsun? If not, I'm sure the boys and I could arrange a few more for you. Aw hell, we'll do it anyways. We LIKE you, Mr. Datsun![/QUOTE] [B]RATING: F+[/B] And with that, we go to... COMMERCIAL #2 Ernie Turner is in the ring! He has a mic! [QUOTE]Turner: Roger, man! I thought we were bros! What gives? Come out here and explain, man![/QUOTE] Roger Dodger comes out! He also has a mic! [QUOTE]Dodger: Frankly, I'd rather come out here and kick your ass! Turner: What'd I ever do to you? Dodger: You hit me and cost me my title belt! Turner: Oh. Oh yeah. Well, uh... what about that time I got you that six-pack even though you were only 20? Dodger: It was LIGHT beer. Turner: Oh. Oh jeez. I'm so sorry, bro. Maybe... maybe I deserved it... Dodger: It's too late for apologies now, Turner. One of us has got to go. Right now![/QUOTE] [B]RATING: D+[/B] [B]MATCH #3: Loser Leaves Town: The Hustlers EXPLODE! Ernie Turner vs. Roger Dodger![/B] A mediocre but short brawl sees Ernie Turner go over cleanly, sending Roger off to SWF land. [B]RESULT:[/B] Ernie Turner d. Roger Dodger via pinfall in 3:31 [B]RATING: E[/B] Ring announcer/Colour commentator Chris Gordon is in the ring, promoting the next match: [QUOTE]Gordon: The following contest is a one-fall match to determine the Number One Contender for the Awesome Max Wrestling WORLD Heavyweight Championship. The winner of this match will go on to face the current World Champion at AMW Spring Beatings 1997, on Saturday, Week 4 of April, under match stipulations of his own choosing. Gordon: First, making his way to the ring area... fighting out of Cleveland, Ohio, and weighing in at 284 pounds... the one... the only... The Archangel! Gordon: And his opponent... hailing from Virginia Beach, Virginia, and weighing in at 254 pounds. He is the master of the Kovach Krippler, the Dean of Danger, the Thane of Threat, the Pasha of Peril... He is... Joel Kovach![/QUOTE] [B]RATING: E[/B] Gordon retreats to his announcer position as the two men square off. COMMERCIAL #3 [B]MATCH #3: For the #1 Contendership: Archangel vs. Joel Kovach[/B] This begins as a solid old-school technical match between two talented young athletes. Archangel uses his size advantage to overpower Kovach whenever Kovach tries to stand toe-to-toe with him, but whenever things go to the mat, Joel's quickness and experience show through. Eventually, though, tempers flare, and the match spills out of the ring. A wild brawl erupts around the ring area, using all the standard tropes: the guard rail drop, the TV cord choke, pulling up the mats, you name it. Kovach is showing color, and Archangel's face paint has almost completely sweated away. Referee Ray Johnson despairs of ever getting the match back under control, and returns to the ring to start the count-out. Both men notice and race to get back into the ring in time. Kovach wins the race, and cheap shots Archangel as he tries to get back in. A big suplex puts Archangel down, and Kovach goes up top, looking to finish with the Old School Elbow Drop. But Archangel was only down, not out, and the elbow misses. Both men slowly struggle to their feet. Archangel is up first, and goes after Kovach, but Kovach goes to the eyes to regain control. This doesnt last long, however, as Archangel reverses a whip into the corner. But as Archangel charges in for the Angel Wing Splash, Kovach pulls the ref in front to protect himself. Johnson gets flattened, and Angel is stunned. Kovach takes the opportunity to ascend the ropes again, trying a flying cross body. But Angel recovers in time to catch him and powerslam him, then signals for the Fall From Grace! Unfortunately, he's tired and hurt enough not to realize the reaction from the crowd is more due to the man making his way down the entrance ramp than due to Angel's signal. Angel finishes off the helpless Kovach with his Fall From Grace crucifix powerbomb, but of course, there's no referee to make the count. As Angel gets up to check on the ref, he's met with a vicious chair shot from... The Insane Heat? Heat adds a couple more chair shots to the flattened Angel, just for fun, then bails from the ring and heads out back. Kovach, still half-dead from the Fall From Grace, somehow manages to roll over and get an arm across Angel's chest. The ref recovers just in time to see this, and makes the count. [B]RESULT:[/B] Joel Kovach d. Archangel by pinfall in 12:12 after The Insane Heat interfered. [B]RATING: D[/B] COMMERCIAL #4 A very nervous Devorah Triton tries to catch The Insane Heat for an interview, but he ignores her. [B]RATING: E+[/B] Back in the ring area, Archangel is being helped to the back, while Kovach has a mic. [QUOTE]Kovach: Well, well. Seems I'm the new #1 Contender. (pause) Somehow. (looks confused for a moment, then shrugs) Whatever. Anyway. Kovach: On to Rev Barris. Now Rev, I know you're thinking to yourself, "Oh God, why did it have to be Kovach? Anyone but Kovach!" But deep down, you've always known someday you'd be losing your belt to me. That's why you've been dodging me all these months. I know it's probably going to be tempting to throw a match to some random chump just so you can avoid me. But it's too late, Reverend Barris. Too late. Because from this moment on, the bull's-eye is on your back. And I am going to take you down, and take your title.[/QUOTE] [B]RATING: D+[/B] Out back, a recovering Archangel is interviewed by Dev Triton. [QUOTE]Archangel: I... lost. I can't believe I lost. How did it happen? I had him right where I wanted him, and somehow, it all slipped away from me. Dev: The Insane Heat may have had something to do with that. Archangel: No. No. Blaming others for my failure would be too easy. I lost because I lost my way, let myself be distracted, dragged into a fight instead of a match. I have to rededicate myself, return to my roots, return to... wrestling. I had a shot to make it to the top the easy way, by winning a single match, and I blew it. So now I will do it the hard way -- climbing, rung by rung, over everyone in my path. And that includes The Insane Heat. Heat, I won't forgive you. But I won't let you make me lose sight of my real goals, either. You're going to learn, you're just one more obstacle in my way. And I won't be going around you, or over you... I'll be going right through you.[/QUOTE] [B]RATING: D[/B] COMMERCIAL #5 [B]MAIN EVENT: For the AMW World Heavyweight Championship, Joshua "The Rev" Barris vs. Edwin D. Bashford.[/B] Kovach's prediction that Barris would try to throw the match against Bashford proves... inaccurate. The Rev demolishes Bashford systematically, finishing him with a figure-four after an extended squash. [B]RESULT: [/B]The Rev d. Edwin Bashford via submission to a figure-four leglock in 5:55. [B]RATING: E[/B] After the match, Kovach comes out to stare down Barris. The Rev grabs a mic: [QUOTE]The Rev: Well? Why wait until Spring Beatings? Let's do this now![/QUOTE] But Kovach just smirks, and walks away. [B]RATING: D+[/B] [B]SHOW RATING: E Attendance: 767 Current Debt: 213,245[/B] Note to self: Bashford sucks too hard to be in any more mains.