The Final Days of Robbie Retro

[mrnoun]

[QUOTE=theunholyicon]I too like this, but my big pet peeve in diaries is when people just have people face off against eachother all the time because they have good chemistry. Oh well, whatever works I guess.[/QUOTE] I actually agree. I was thinking something similar, earlier. The thing about this kind of diary is that you have to balance the behind-the-scenes storyline, which is the important part, with the in-ring action, which is only important to the extent that it's not really a TEW diary without it. It's like a SE fed: you need a little wrestling mixed in. In this case, the key is trying to stay honest to the character: what would the Man in Black do? He'd do things like bury Tommy... er, Thomas... repeatedly, even though it hurts the company. Or he'd help Mario burn down old Jed Doolally's barn. The latter is no problem; it doesn't affect the actual game at all. But the former makes booking a lot more difficult. And that's where the balancing act comes in, because in the long run, I would like to win my little challenge and beat the Eisens. So I've been compromising a bit, and when the Man in Black doesn't have a good reason to book something else, I'm throwing out the matches I think will get the best ratings. Incidentally, the Five Guys have contract offers out to several more workers, so hopefully, a larger roster will mean a little more variety.

[mrnoun]

Saturday, 3 December 2005: "Um, boss?" "Yeah, Tommy? Thomas, sorry." "About this gimmick change..." "...Yes? Is there a problem?" "Well, I'm not really comfortable with... you know... the whole..." "Come on, Tommy, spit it out." "What's with the skirt?" "..." "..." "..." "..." "...kilt. Yeah, that's it, it's a kilt." "A...?" "Kilt. It's a Scottish thing. You're... uh... doing a Braveheart gimmick." "Oh, I see. A Braveheart gimmick. Well, I guess that's kind of cool..." "Good, I'm glad that's settled." "But, uh, what's the makeup for, then?" "..." "..." "..." "..." "...you mean war paint, right? The highland warriors often painted their faces before battle." "...well, I guess that makes sense." "Uh huh." "But... mascara?" "..." "..." "..." "..." "...yes. Mascara. All the toughest Scots wore mascara." "And pigtails." "Uh..." Fortunately for the Man in Black, Dr. Libertine intervened at that point to let the guys know the show was ready to start. --- Melvin, Indiana: Population 844. FGW was the opening act for the town's biggest celebrity: The Guy Who Met the Guy Who Played "Art the Janitor" on Night Court. 96 people showed up, but half of them left when they found out that Art himself wasn't actually going to show up. -The show opened with Thomasina McMorgan singing "I'm a Barbie Girl", hastily re-written with by Sydney as "I'm a Scottish Girl". Since Sydney didn't actually know much about Scotland, it was pretty short and repetitive. However, some of the guys in the crowd who'd been spending a little too much time with the sheep lately thought he had nice legs. (C-) -Next, Marc Speed came out to once again make short work of the departing McMorgan. (E) -To distract the crowd from the brutal incompetence of the preceding booking, a short video was filmed, highlighting American Elemental's attempt to visit a hair salon, still wearing his mask. (C-) -Elemental came out to the ring, but got ambushed by Mikey the Ninja. (D) -Mikey and Elemental wrestled a different match than usual, as Mikey got a lot more offense than the injured Elemental until a fluke rollup ended it. (C) -John Greed came out next, to remind everyone that he has a lot more money than them. At least, in character. In actuality, he's dirt-poor and getting paid next to nothing. (D) -Brendan Idol comes out to shut Greed up, leading to a match. Greed went over with the Quick Cash Kick after a shot with a domestic object (the Five Guys can't afford to import foreign objects). (E) -Finally, Mario and Plague had their usual match, with Mario retaining the title with a Hero Attack. (C) Overall: C-. --- "Hey, uh, Boss? Remember how we said John and Brendan should never, ever, be in the same ring, ever, ever again?" "...oh yeah. Sorry about that. My bad. Tell you what, I think we're all getting a bit burned out. Take some time off, everyone, and we'll pick things up again in January."

[eskimo38]

Domestic object...awesome - glad to see that this diary isn't gone as it's one of the few that I look forward to reading!

[theunholyicon]

Same here.

[mrnoun]

Meanwhile: Far beneath Mount Innererwitz, outside Zûrich, Switzerland. "I can't believe that dumbass has already burnt through half the money we gave him," said the guy with the beard, who was actually the second guy with the beard, but since the first guy with the beard hadn't spoken yet, it wouldn't really make sense to refer to this guy with the beard as the second guy with the beard. Which, in fact, he was. "What *I* can't believe is that I had to fly all the way to ****ing Switzerland for this meeting," said the one with the scars. "Couldn't we do that tele-whatsis thingy, you know, whatever they call it? The thing where you do the thing with the computers?" "Teleconferencing, dumbass. And we can't do that because the reception down here sucks," said the one with the bad haircut. "Well, why don't we meet somewhere that isn't several miles beneath the Earth's surface, then?" asked the short one. "I figured you'd be pretty comfortable down here, shortass. You're so much closer to it than the rest of us anyways," snarled the second one with the beard. "That's it! PREPARE TO SUFFER!" screamed the short one, charging at his tormentor, who laughed uproariously as the first one with the beard and the one who, while he didn't have a beard, nonetheless could have used a shave, held the short one back. "Gentlemen! Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!" interjected the first one with the beard. For a long moment, everyone stared at him. Finally, the one with the bad haircut said, "What the hell are you talking about? This isn't the War Room!" "Sorry, [I]Doctor Strangelove[/I] was on the other night. I got carried away." "That's so typical of you stupid Canadians." "But I'm not--" "Enough of this!" said the Seeress. "Is there any [I]good[/I] news?" For the next several minutes, the six men demonstrated their remarkable cumulative ability not to make eye contact with the Seeress. Finally, she spoke again. "Perhaps we should provide him with more money--" "NO!" burst the one with the bad haircut. "That twerp isn't getting any more of MY money. Not until I see some results!" There was general agreement from the rest of the table. "This whole thing is starting to look like one huge waste of time. I'm out. Don't bother contacting me again." "You are, of course, well within your rights. If you truly want to leave our little group, the door is right over there," said the Seeress, gesturing. A brief pause later, the one with the bad haircut spoke again. "That's the door to the Torture Chamber. The exit is over there. You, uh, pointed to the wrong door." The Seeress appeared to consider this for a few moments, then replied. "No... no. That's the door I meant. Thank you for double-checking for me, however." After another pause, the one with the bad haircut once again spoke. "So what's our next move, comrades?" --- Antwerp, Belgium. The nefarious dealings of the Belgian National Football Team continued unhindered. --- Littleton, Minnesota. "Hey, Mario. Better hide all the sharp objects." "Why's that, John?" "You seen the latest issue of Pro Wrestling Hits? The Awards issue?" "Not yet... why, bad news?" "You... could say that." A scream of rage came from the Man in Black's office. "And apparently, the Boss just saw it." A black blur stormed through the office, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. "We better follow him, just in case." And so, John and Mario followed the path of chaos all the way to the railroad tracks, where, amidst the decapitated remains of the hobos, they found, scrawled in blood on the side of an abandoned train car: "The Wrestler of the Year Award for 2005 goes to Tommy Morgan for his performances in FGW." *** Scheduled for Tuesday, 1 January 2006: Stylin' Shane Nelson and Brendan Idol vs. John Greed and Marc Speed American Elemental vs. Plague Mario Heroic (c) vs. a Mystery Opponent for the Five Guys Championship

[mrnoun]

[b]Tuesday, 1 January 2006 Laramie, Wyoming[/b] As always, nothing happened here. -- [b]Tuesday, 1 January 2006 Littleton, Minnesota[/b] "Mr. Morgan! Welcome! Welcome! Ha ha ha. Do you mind if I call you Tommy?" "Well, actually, my name is--" "Of course you don't! Ha ha ha. It's great to meet you at last, Tommy. We've been needing someone like you around here. The #1 wrestler in the world! Ha ha ha." "No, you're thinking of the other--" "Ha ha ha! So great to have such a talented submission specialist on the roster. And one so well-known, at that! Finally, someone to match up with Mario!" With that, the Man in Black wandered off, laughing manically to himself. "What the blazes is he on?" asked JD. "We're... not sure. He gets that way sometimes," answered John, careful not to mention that by 'sometimes', he meant 'after killing enough hobos'. "So am I right to be feeling these deep sensations of regret and foreboding about signing this contract?" "...don't, uh, worry. He probably knows what he's doing," chipped in Marc unreassuringly, then looked around in surprise that he actually got dialog. "Hi JD!" "Oh god... hello, Shane." "Hi!" said Shane, giving Morgan a big hug. "And this is why I stopped working in Canada," said JD. "Stupid colonials." -- -The show opened with Champagne Lover beating Mikey the Ninja after Mikey attempted (and badly botched) a fancy martial arts kick. (7:45, D) -After the match, Mikey whined that there's no way Lover should have been able to avoid such a spectacular move, and the win was clearly just luck. So Lover offered him another match for next show. (D) -In the tag division, Greed for Speed took on the Special Underdogs, Shane Nelson and Brendan Idol. The Speedlock finished after Nelson accidentally hit Idol. (7:33, D) -Next was an aerial extravaganza between American Elemental and Plague, with Plague taking the pin in a wild match, with the New Jersey Turnpike. (9:59, C+) -Afterwards, Mario Heroic came out to welcome FGW's newest star, JD Morgan, to the company. Morgan came out and offered Heroic a handshake. And if you don't know what happened then, you haven't been watching wrestling long enough. (C-) -Finally, Heroic had to defend his belt against Morgan, immediately after being assaulted brutally by surprise. What wasn't a surprise was Morgan taking Heroic apart to win the title. (17:53, C) -Afterwards, Morgan sneered that the title was beneath him, and threw it to the mat before storming off. (C-) Overall: C, 44 attendance. -- With the Man in Black out of commission, giggling quietly to himself while watching his favorite [i]Texas Chainsaw Massacre[/i] scene on infinite loop, John took over the post-show meeting. "So, uh, what the hell happened out there? JD? Mario? You guys were supposed to blow the roof off and put us on the map." "I dunno, John," said Mario. "Everything was going fine, right up until... well..." "Yeah?" "Until we stepped into the ring," said JD. "We just couldn't find a rhythm. Maybe it was just coincidence, but I don't think so. I'm sure Mario is a nice enough chap, but we don't match up well." "On the positive side, Elemental keeps stealing show after show. I think it's about time for a title push, and I'll talk to the Boss about it... erm, as soon as he stops trying to eat that Barcolounger." "Mfff, Mfff!" "Take your mask off before you try to talk, Elemental." "Oh, sorry John. I said, 'Thanks, John!'" "No problem, Elemental," said John, rubbing his temples in exasperation. "I'm beginning to understand why the Boss kills all those hobos." "Wait a minute, WHAT?!" exclaimed JD. "Erm... nothing. I'll, uh, explain later." And with that, the meeting broke down. -- Scheduled for Tuesday, 2 January 2006: JD Morgan (c) vs. American Elemental for the Five Guys Championship Mikey the Ninja vs. Champagne Lover "Special" Shane Nelson vs. Plague Mario Heroic vs. Marc Speed for the #1 Contendership

[Jaded]

I've just read through all of this - wow, fantastic stuff! :)

[ahw26]

this thread is awesome :) keep up the good work

[mrnoun]

[B]Tuesday, 2 January 2006[/B] [B]Littleton, Minnesota[/B] [B](late morning)[/B] "Look, I am NOT happy about this." "I know you're not, John, but what can we do about it? Someone has to run things. Would you rather leave it to the guy who never takes his mask off, or the guy who killed a hooker?" John looked at the usually quiet Marc, then at the motionless figure on the couch. With a sigh, he sunk into the Man in Black's chair. He looked down at the desk, where a financial report showed more red than Moscow in November of '86. "I'm not cut out for this work," he mumbled. "You're the only sane one here." "What about..." John started, then paused in thought. "Well, uh... there's you, isn't there?" "What, they're going to listen to ME? Half of them don't even know my name yet!" With that, silence. As the uncomfortable moment lengthened, both men's eyes were drawn back to the motionless figure on the couch. "How... how long do you think he'll be like that?" asked John, finally. "I don't know... Boss," said Marc, with just a hint of a smirk at the last word. The expression quickly faded back to seriousness, and he continued. "I don't even know what happened to him." "He just seemed to... crash. Dead to the world. Hasn't moved all week," answered John, not even noticing the 'Boss'. "I just get the feeling he's... somewhere else." Both men shivered. "Do you feel that? It's like... a chill. Almost eldritch," said Marc. "Sorry, I'll close the window," said John. After a pause, he added, "If I'm going to do this stupid job, you're damn well going to suffer with me... assistant. Let everyone know, we've got a meeting this afternoon." [B](that afternoon)[/B] "All right people, settle down, settle down," said John. "I suppose you're wondering why I called you all here." "I assume is has something to do with tonight's show. I mean, we ARE having a show tonight, aren't we? And where's the Boss?" asked Mario. John looked annoyed for a moment. "Well... yes, that's why I called you here. We're not having a show tonight. USPW, TCW, and SWF are all running shows tonight, and we don't need the competition. We're going to postpone the show a couple weeks, and move it to Wednesday." John stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. "Also, as some of you may know, the Boss is... out of commission. I'm filling in for the time being." "Wait, something happened to the Boss? What's wrong with him?" interjected American Elemental. "He's... sick. Some kind of coma. We were going to take him to the hospital, but he had one of those Medic-Alert bracelets." "What? What kind of Medic-Alert bracelet would keep you from taking him to the hospital?" "Well, it said, 'If you take me to the hospital, I will personally hunt each and every one of you down, cut out your livers, and feed them to Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat with a Thousand Young.' So all in all, we figured he'd be fine on the couch." A long pause ensued. "...It really said all that?" "It was very small lettering." Elemental looked closely at John, either because he wasn't sure if John was joking or because he was having trouble seeing through his mask. Finally, realizing John wasn't joking, he asked, "Where is he? Can we see him?" "He's in his office. Charley's keeping an eye on him, to make sure he doesn't stop breathing or anything. I asked Doctor Libertine to take a look at him, but Doc just said he's not that kind of doctor and handed me a copy of his doctoral thesis. My fourth copy, I might add." Elemental nodded; he had three copies himself. "Okay? Now, then, there's one more thing I want to talk about: some new additions to--" "Wait a minute!" shrieked Mitch, who had finally worked out what was going on. "Why are YOU in charge? We hired you to wrestle, not to run things!" John laughed. "You think YOU can run things?" "Better than some dumb wrestler!" "Look, when this whole thing started, you were on the verge of getting kicked out of your apartment... and five guys living together in one tiny apartment was kind of creepy, by the way. The Boss, and the rest of us, saved your asses. Without us, you'd be nothing. In fact, with us, you're still nothing. So shut up and let me do my job." "Your job is to wrestle! Well, WAS to wrestle. You're fired!" "Fine! You want to run the company? You'll be broke and homeless inside a month. I promise it." Mitch stared at him, long and hard, then stormed out. John watched him leave, then turned back to continue the meeting. "Now, as I said, we're looking to bring in some new talent, and I'm looking for suggestions..." [B](later that evening)[/B] Marc slumped glumly onto the only piece of furniture in the office not already occupied by either his current boss, or the body of his previous boss. "So... that could have gone better." "At least Mitch is speaking to me again, even if it was to yell at me and threaten to fire me." "You could have humored him. He and his buddies DO, technically, own the company." "Yeah, but that little twit gets on my nerves." "To be honest, they all do." "Eh, Syd's not too bad, when he's not talking about Mr. Bean. But hey, I have some phone calls to make. You want to make sure Shane gets his prescription refilled for me? We don't need another... incident." Marc gave John a mocking salute, and left. John gave another sigh, and looked down at the list of names suggested at the meeting. With a glance at the Man In Black's body, he reached for the phone. "No rest for the wicked, I suppose..." *** Sorry for (a) the long delay and (b) the lack of an actual show on this update. I hit a dead end story-wise, and got involved in other projects for a while; this should get things back on track, though. [B]Scheduled for Wednesday, 4 January 2006 (and hopefully posted before next January):[/B] -American Elemental defends the honor of FGW against DAVE's J.D. Morgan, who called the company "worthless" and "beneath him". -Mikey the Ninja demanded a rematch from Champagne Lover, claiming the Latino Heartthrob got lucky last time. -Plague has wrestled countless opponents all over North America and Mexico during his long career. But he's never met an opponent as... special... as Shane Nelson.

[mrnoun]

[B]Wednesday, 4 January 2006 Littleton, Minnesota[/B] "Nervous?" "A little," admitted John. This wasn't the first show he'd run, but it was the first show he'd run as the Boss. Last time, he'd just been filling in; this was for real. "Don't worry about it, man," said Marc. "What's the worst that could happen?" "Um, that thing on the Boss's Medic-Alert bracelet comes to mind. The new guys here yet? I want to go over things with them one more time." "That's what I came up to tell you. Josh and Willie called from the airport, they're on their way as soon as they find a cab. They *should* be here before showtime. Carvill's at a TV taping for one of those Canadian promotions, he can't do Wednesdays. And Jean's hiding in his motel room from Shane -- apparently, they've met before." "Let me know when Josh and Willie get here. Meanwhile, find Brendan for me? We gotta throw together some filler in case they can't make it." -- -Pre-show, Marc Speed beat Brendan Idol in a dark match. (C-) -The show opened with Mario Heroic in the ring, being interviewed by Jerry Martin. Heroic said he was ready for a fight tonight, and issued an open challenge... answered by "Mean" Jean Cattley! (C-) -Cattley spent the match trying to keep Heroic grounded with his superior technical skills. However, he grew frustrated when Mario kept slipping away and hitting high spots. Finally, Jean stole the win with a domestic object. (C) -After the match, Cattley complained that that wasn't much of a fight, and he'd be back next show, looking for a REAL fight this time. (C-) -Next, Joshua Taylor and William Hayes arrived, fresh from the airport, and still in street clothes. They introduced themselves, and promised to turn the FGW tag division on its head -- short and to the point. (C-) --A quick video replayed the finish to the Mikey/Lover match from the last show, and Mikey's rematch challenge. (F) --But before Mikey/Lover, Shane and Plague squared off. Plague controlled much of the match with his superior experience and intellect, but Shane made the big comeback and stole the win in the end. (C) --After the match, Shane celebrated by hugging Plague, who, predictably, reacted badly and beat him down. (D) --It was time for Mikey and Lover next. Mikey went all-out in this match, while Lover didn't take him seriously, toying with him. Lover controlled much of the match, until a missed moonsault gave Mikey an opening. Mikey gave the signal for his fancy martial arts kick, the one he'd missed in the last match... and this time it hit! Unfortunately, it was a really stupid kick that didn't do any actual damage, and Lover no-sold it. Mikey, stunned that Lover wasn't unconscious and possibly headed for the hospital, got flattened with a lariat and locked in the Champagne Breakfast for the submission. (C-) --Finally, it was time for American Elemental and J.D. Morgan. The match combined elements of the first two matches on the show: the technical wrestler trying to ground the slippery high-flyer, and the veteran heel controlling the younger, more athletic face until the latter put together a late match flurry. But when Elemental went up top, looking to finish, Morgan rolled out of the ring, grabbed his belt, and walked out for the count-out. (C+) Overall: C -- "Only 39 people... we're losing attendance. That's not good," said Marc. "The crowd was really bored during that recap video. After all, we're mostly attracting the same people to every show." "The wrestling, at least, was solid," said J.D. "No one really stood out as being bad." "This was definitely the best show you guys have put on since I've been involved with the organization," said Doctor Libertine. "I've seen a lot of pissant no-name promotions who work out of high school gyms in my days, and up until now, that's what you guys have been. But this is starting to feel like a legitimate Small promotion to me. Perhaps I can write another paper..." "Does anyone else have anything to add?" John interjected quickly, before Libertine could get started. "I really feel like I *connected* with the crowd tonight, you know what I mean? It was kind of a morphic resonance, you know? Our chakras were really aligned out there," said Jean, who was holding a crystal over his sore knee. Even Doctor Libertine snapped out of his reverie to stare at him. "What?" And with that, the post-show meeting broke up. -- Next show: -J.D. Morgan put one over on American Elemental, but the Masked One doesn't give up that easily. What does that mean? Rematch! -Mikey the Ninja is frustrated by his recent losses to Champagne Lover. So he's going to try to take it out on Lover's friend and fellow SOTBPW worker, Mario Heroic! -Joshua Taylor and William Hayes came to the States looking to find some tag team action. Unfortunately for them, they're about to find out that the entire FGW tag divison consists of John Greed and Marc Speed: the Boss and his assistant! -And "Mean" Jean Cattley came here looking for a real fight. Will anyone be able to give him one?

[mrnoun]

[B]Interlude ...somewhere.[/B] YOU? I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE. "Erm... hello? Am I dead?" YES. AND NO. "Pardon?" IT IS COMPLICATED. "Can't you just... metaphysically take my pulse or something? I have an Armageddon to attend to, you see." WELL, WHICH 'YOU' DO YOU WANT ME TO CHECK? "What do you mean? There's only one of me." IN A MULTIVERSE OF INFINITE SIZE, THERE ARE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF YOUS. IT ALL HAS TO DO WITH SOME TROUSERS, OR POSSIBLY A CAT BOX OF SOME SORT. "Don't I get a lawyer? Or... or possibly a medium, or something?" IT IS A RARE MEDIUM THAT IS WELL DONE. Silence. THAT WAS A PUN. "I know." Silence. -- [B]Mount Innererwitz, Switzerland[/B] "We're screwed," said the short one. "I can't believe that moron got himself killed!" shouted the one with the beard. There was general agreement around the table; even the normally calm one who, while he doesn't have a beard, could nonetheless use a shave, joined in the shouting. The Seeress sighed to herself; the men were really starting to get on her nerves. Besides, she knew just how hard the Man in Black was to kill. He'd be back. -- [B]Antwerp, Belgium[/B] "Have you got the shipment?" "Calm down, Van der Moor, you know you can count on me." "This is important, Minuit. The Big Guy doesn't want any screw-ups. Or heads will roll. And I don't think he was speaking figuratively." Minuit paused to wipe his brow; the packages were heavy. "What's with you lately, Hoos? You used to be cool, man." "I dunno, Henri. It's this new stuff. I mean... drugs, fine. Prostitution? We're famous for it. But this new stuff just seems... beneath us." Hoos Van der Moor nodded reluctantly as he drew the ringpost from its packaging. -- THIS MONTH IN WRESTLING: January, 2006 The month began with bad news for CGC: Title Bout Wrestling was cancelled on the first Monday of the month. But things turned around quickly for the wrestling world. The first week of the year saw two VERY early Match of the Year candidates: Raul Hughes vs. Tadiyuki Kikkawa for BHOTWG, and Tommy Cornell vs. Liberty for TCW. Not to be outdone, NOTBPW fired back in Week 2 with Dan Stone Jr. and Jeremy Stone. PGHW came up with Buddy Garner vs. Bryan Vessey. SWF put together a candidate in Week 3: Runaway Train vs. Christian Faith. It was a good month for quality wrestling. CGC bounced back from its lost TV slot with a PPV deal. UCR, NOTBPW, and PGHW also added PPV deals. The big free agent signing for the month was Jungle Jack joining DAVE to replace the departing Big Cat Brandon. Jack has yet to debut for DAVE, but had a good month working for GCG and MPWF. The other big mover this month was FGW out of Minnesota, a former no-name local promotion, now considered a Small regional promotion thanks to importing "name" Indy workers J.D. Morgan, "Mean" Jean Cattley, and others. How about that!

[Scapino1974]

I'm glad to see this is back. Great diary, man. I'm looking forward to more!

[mrnoun]

[B]Saturday, 1 February Littleton, Minnesota[/B] "Hey, Jean, I want to go over a couple things before the show..." "Ommmmm..." "You see, with all the new guys coming in lately, I want to make sure everyone clicks properly and we don't have any conflicts..." "Ommmmm..." "So I just wanted to make sure you had your lines down..." "Ommmmm..." "Are you even listening to me?" "Ommmmm..." "Hey, Jean! Shane wants to say hi!" "Omm- WHAT? Quick, hide me!" -- -Before the show, Champagne Lover practiced his English for the surprisingly patient crowd. Apparently, he was getting pretty good at it, though. (C-) -Next, in a dark match, Nevada Nuclear got a tryout, losing to Lover.(C-) -The show itself started with "Mean" Jean Cattley looking for a fight. He was answered by... the surprise debut of Jack Giedroyc! (D) -Cattley made short work of Giedroyc, then cheated for the win anyways just to rile up the crowd. (C-) -Next, the entire tag division made its entrance for the first tag match in weeks. The new guys, Taylor and Hayes, took the win when Marc Speed nailed Josh with a steel chair. (D) -An enraged Hayes and groggy Taylor chased off the heels with chairs. (C-) -Footage was shown of Mikey the Ninja, despairing of his losing streak, going back to the drawing board and re-teaching himself how to break boards. (F) -It doesn't help, though, as former champ Mario Heroic destroyed him in a matter of minutes. (C-) -Next, American Elemental promoted the upcoming rematch with J.D. Morgan. (C-) -But Morgan walked away with the belt again, this time by shoving Dr. Libertine to draw the automatic DQ. (C) Overall: C -- "What the hell were you doing out there, Lover?" asked J.D. the moment the post-show meeting started. "We all know you can do better than that. Think you're too good to be helping out the new talent in dark matches or something?" "You weren't exactly busting your butt out there yourself, Morgan!" shouted Mario, sticking up for his buddy, who was clearly having trouble with J.D.'s thick British accent. "Simmer down, people," said John, trying to defuse the situation. "I think every one of us knows we can put on a better show than that. Yelling and pointing fingers isn't going to make it happen, though." "You're right. I'm sorry. No hard feelings, J.D." "Now, the good news is, we just about doubled our attendance. And I've found us a new sponsor: Big Fat Devil (TM) Snack Foods. Money's still tight, but we're no longer in a serious crunch. Though Big Fat Devil (TM) Chips are certainly a serious crunch! Snap into the Hellish sensation!" John paused a moment. "Sorry, I am legally required to make a bad pun relating to one of their products at least once a day, according to our contract." After that, the meeting broke up fairly quickly.

[mrnoun]

[B]In the wee hours The Boss's office[/B] The Man in Black, stiff as a board, had been propped up in a corner to free the couch for use. And the couch was full; an impromptu meeting of the Inner Circle of FGW had broken out. Strangely, the Five Guys themselves were not involved; they had long since lost control of the company. John leaned back in his chair, feet on his desk, and scanned the assemblage. Marc was leaning against the wall, having surrendered the other chair to old Doc Libertine. J.D. and Vinnie "Plague" Ventrone shared the couch with American Elemental, masked as always. John regretted Mario couldn't be here, but these five men he felt he could trust. John broke the silence. "We all know why we're here." There were nods around the room. Marc took a deep breath, looking down at the piece of paper he was holding, and read. "Brendan Idol." "He's a nice enough kid. I have no problem with him," said Doc. "I'll give the kid this: he doesn't make a fool of himself out there. He's got the basics down." said Vinnie, only in his Jersey accent that this narrator is no longer going to attempt to transcribe. "He has a couple nice moves, too," was Elemental's contribution. "I don't know. He doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the guys. And frankly, I just don't see him ever amounting to much more than he is already," frowned J.D. John rubbed his temples quietly, and made a few marks on the sheet in front of him. Marc glanced down at his own sheet, and spoke again. "Jack Giedroyc." "Always good to have a few veterans around," said Doc. "He earned himself a pretty good reputation overseas." "You always know what you're getting from him. It may not be anything special, but he gets the job done," said Vinnie. "Huh, 'nothing special' is right. He's really not my cup of tea, but I suppose the undercard needs a few guys like that," said Elemental. "I like him. He's got the mind of a veteran and the body of a 29-year-old; he's still improving. Plus, it never hurts to have a few guys around who can cut interviews," said J.D. "You just don't want to be the only Brit around," joked John, earning a brief chuckle. "Joshua Taylor," said Marc, silencing the good humor. "He didn't impress me at all," said Elemental. "It was like we could have grabbed any random guy from, say, MAW, and gotten just as much out of him." "I disagree," said Doc. "He's 23 years old and one of the hardest workers in the business. He's going to get a lot better." "And he's already got a great grasp of the fundamentals," added Vinnie. "He's working hard to get into better shape, which is good. And he's working in Japan between FGW shows, which is better. I just don't know if he has the talent to go much further than a midcard tag act," said J.D. "Jean Cattley," said Marc, while John made his notes on Joshua. "He spent close to half an hour yesterday telling me about Transcendental Meditation. I barely even managed to give him a copy of my thesis," griped Doc. "It's nice to have someone around who can keep up with J.D. on the mat, though," said Elemental. "Well, I wouldn't go THAT far," said J.D. "And I don't think he has the body type to make it as a huge star in this business. Still, it doesn't hurt to have a few guys around who just wrestle, without worrying about making them huge stars." "The guy gives you solid work every time out there," said Vinnie. "Nothing wrong with solid." "Mikey," said Marc. "Ugh," said Vinnie. "I like having those young kids who work hard around," said Doc. "There's a lot of potential in them." "Some of those flying kicks are actually pretty nifty," added Elemental. "He's in great shape," said J.D. "But he's pretty weak in the ring compared to the rest of these guys. And I disagree with Doc about his potential." "Nevada Nuclear," said Marc. "I don't believe I've so much as spoken to him yet," admitted Doc. "But I've never heard anything bad about him. Or good, for that matter." "I'd always thought he was bigger," said Elemental. "As it is, he just doesn't impress me." "He's got a lot to learn about wrestling," said Vinnie. "But he's only 22, after all." "He's got the look, and I could see him turning into a good brawler. I think he'd be a great fit in, say, DAVE," said J.D. "But most of our top guys tend towards technical and aerial wrestling; he may represent a style clash." "...Shane Nelson." said Marc. A general groan rose from the group. "He's... nice. He tries real hard at it. He can be tough to work with, but..." Doc shrugged helplessly. "Yeah, tell me about it," agreed Vinnie. "But... that said, the kid just has a natural knack for the show." "He's in good shape, and he's not afraid to throw his body around out there," said Elemental, who had fewer negatives to say about weirdos than the rest. "The thing is... the thing is... annoying as he is," said J.D., "he's already good out there, and you can SEE him getting better every time out." "And that brings us finally to... William Hayes," said Marc. "Tonight was the first time I ever worked with him," admitted Doc, "but he was pretty easygoing. Things went smoothly, though it helped that his buddy Josh was willing to do most of the pre-match prep work." "Are you saying he's a bit lazy?" asked John. "No, not so much lazy as... not as motivated as Taylor," answered Libertine. "On the other hand, he's in better shape and more polished in the ring than Taylor," retorted Vinnie. "His moves look crisper and smoother, too," said Elemental. "He's 26, charismatic, and athletic, and he's working full-time in Japan between our shows. I think he's going to improve quickly," said J.D. "Thank you for your opinions, guys. It's good to have your insights into the less well-established portions of our roster. I won't keep you any longer, though; I know just how late it is," said John, wrapping up the meeting. After the last of the tired workers left the office, John slumped into his chair. Marc grabbed the other one. "Why didn't you tell them?" Marc asked. "I wasn't sure how they'd react," John answered. "When I said earlier that we weren't in any more immediate financial trouble, I meant it. But we're still stretching ourselves thin. We need to make these cuts. I just didn't want to panic anyone." "And they won't be upset when they find out?" "Frankly, I'm hoping they'll be so busy preparing for their own parts on the upcoming shows that they won't notice certain people don't show up. Especially if it's the newer guys." "I don't think you should be lying to the guys, though. That's a bad way to start your career as Boss." John frowned. "Maybe you're right. But it's too late now. Besides, it's still better than, say, killing hobos." "Hey! Watch what you say about the Boss." "Oh, I know. He plucked me off the unemployment line, too. Gave me a job, a place to stay, and a chance to do what I love, and treated me fairly, same as you. But It says a lot iabout this business, I think, that it's so easy to forget the 'homicidal maniac' part." "It's too late for philosophy," griped Marc, glancing at the clock. "Okay, okay... one last thing, then. Who do YOU think needs to go?" Marc bit his lip, staring down at the list, before answering. -- Next Show: -How long can J.D. Morgan escape American Elemental's wrath? At least one more show, as J.D. claims he already has an opponent lined up... "Special" Shane Nelson! -"Mean" Jean Cattley continues his quest to find a worthy opponent. Who is next on his list? -Champagne Lover hasn't lost since mid-December. Can he keep the streak alive against Japan-hardened William Hayes? -Plus, American Elemental vs. Plague in a #1 Contender's Match!

[mrnoun]

[B]Tuesday, 2 February 2006 Littleton, Minnesota[/B] Get to know your favorite FGW workers! FGW Roster Profile #1: Real Name: John Greed Ring Name: John Greed Gimmick: Marc Speed's sidekick Style: Lightweight Luchadore Best Skills: Selling, Resilience, Acting, Charisma, Star Quality Entrance Music: "Time Is Money", Frank Zappa Favorite Movie: [I]Wall Street[/I] Favorite Book: [I]The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money[/I], John Maynard Keynes [QUOTE] "I suppose with a name like that, you don't work cheap." "You'd be surprised."[/QUOTE] FGW Roster Profile #2: Real Name: Sydney Wardrup Ring Name: Non-wrestler. Gimmick: fanfiction writer. Style: epic crossovers. Best Skills: Lack of punctuation, mischaracterizing canon characters. Entrance Music: The Go-Bots Theme. Favorite Movie: [I]Johnny English[/I] Favorite Book: "Mr. Bean Meets the Go-Bots" [QUOTE]Sydney was trying to convince Kirby that a Mr. Bean based character would get over[/QUOTE] -- "So, uh, are you entirely sure scheduling our show for Tuesday night was a good idea, John?" "Well, Josh and Willie are out in Japan on Thursday and Friday, and the Canadians are working on Wednesday and the weekend, and then next week all the other indies have shows... really, today's the last chance we're going to get to run a show with a full roster for a while." "Yeah, but... I mean, we're head-to-head with SWF and TCW tonight. You know that, right?" "Oh, come on, Marc. Who in their right mind would watch the best wrestlers in the world on TV for free when they could pay good money to sit in a cramped armoury and watch a bunch of nobodies? Wait, don't answer that." -- -Before the show, Mario Heroic got some mic time, to remind the crowd that he was not, in fact, dead, and still intended to get his title belt back. (C) -Then he worked off any ring rust by beating the crap out of Nevada Nuclear for a while in a dark match. (D) -The show proper started with Champagne Lover and Willie Hayes. Lover dominated a short match before Mikey the Ninja came out and distracted him long enough for Hayes to steal a pin. (C) -Lover chased Mikey to the back...(D) -...while Marc Speed and John Greed snuck into the ring and beat down Hayes. (C-) -Jean Cattley came out, looking for another fight... and was answered by "The Natural" Damian Carvill! (C-) -Carvill destroyed Cattley for a while, until Jean decided he'd had enough, and walked out. (C) -Carvill taunted him about not being as tough as he thought. (D) -American Elemental met Plague in a #1 Contender's Match. The last time they met, it was a wild, back-and-forth aerial battle, with Plague taking the win. This time, they went all out, trying to top the last effort, but the result was mildly disappointing. Elemental went over to set up another rematch with JD. (C+) -After his big win, Elemental got on the mic and offered to make his match with JD Morgan a little more interesting... with a steel cage! (D) -Announcer/Interviewer Jerry Martin tried to get JD to respond to Elemental's challenge, but Morgan brushed him off, intent on his match with Shane... (E) -...which was next. JD attacked Shane before any hugging could occur, but this only enraged Nelson. Shane gave JD everything he could handle with his high-flying stuff, but eventually JD caught him on the top rope for a superplex, then finished him off with a scorpion deathlock. (C-) Overall: C -- "You know what gets me about tonight's show?" asked John. "I know, I know," said JD, trying to forestall the answer. "The opener was better than the main event," said John anyways. "For some reason, all our main events have been disappointing recently. In fact, ever since we signed a certain overpaid Brit." "Giedroyc's not overpa... oh, you mean me," said JD, voice thick with irony. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" said Elemental. "What? [I]Dr. Strangelove[/I] was on last night." Everyone stared at Elemental for a long moment, as if they'd heard that joke somewhere before. They each filed out wordlessly, as if they wanted nothing more to do with the whole situation. "What? What?" asked Elemental to the empy room. -- Next show! -American Elemental has challenged JD Morgan to a cage match for the championship! Will JD accept? More importantly, can FGW find enough loose change in the couch cushions to afford a steel cage? -Mario Heroic wants his belt back. Who will be the first step on his trip back to the top? The St. Paul Speedball, Marc Speed! -Damian Carvill may be "The Natural", but a Plague is a Natural Disaster. Can Carvill survive the New Jersey Turnpike? -Jean Cattley finally got a fight, and got more than he could handle. How will he respond? -And will Nevada Nuclear ever get a chance in a non-dark match, or is he destined for the unemployment line?