USPW: Where the '90s Go to Die

Scapino1974 · January 17, 2009

The Demise of NOTBPW

Heather handed me my messages when I stumbled into the office two days later. I dreaded to look at them because I was sure I already knew what they’d say.

Sure enough, the top two messages were from Sean McFly and Jeremy Stone’s agents. As I suspected might happen, they turned us down.

I paused in my office door, reading the message from Jeremy’s agent again. I frowned, then turned back to Heather.

“This business from Jeremy’s agent. This is for real?”

She shrugged.

I looked over the message again. According to the message, Jeremy turned us down because he wanted to focus on his NOTBPW career. An odd reason to give, considering that his career would only last another 20 or so days by my count.

I crumpled them up and threw them away. Maybe I’d have to try again in a month after Jeremy had left North of the Border.

I switched on my computer and called up the Pro Wrestling Hits website. I shuffled through the rest of the messages but then froze as the top story appeared on screen. Now Dan Stone Jr. was also leaving NOTBPW!

I stared, hardly believing my eyes. What was going on up north? Maybe I’d have to have a talk with Edd after the next show...

Capellan · January 18, 2009

a “bear” (obviously someone in a cheap costume) lumbered out of the woods. Pete suggested that Al fight the bear, and Al dutifully went over and put the bear in a headlock.

This? Gold.

Scapino1974 · January 19, 2009

<div style="text-align:center;">USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 4, February 2009

(The Go-Home Show for “Red, White, and Blue!”)

Held at the North Carolina Biker Museum in the Mid Atlantic Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!</div>

Danny Jillefski and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

1) Once again, the show started with Champagne Lover coming out to the ring.

“Oh yes, I know, you all think the Champagne Lover is, how you say, a yellow belly, yes? But I disagree, my darlings. Champagne Lover, he is smart. He is a clever man. For now I have my measure of this Nicolas Champion, which means that I know him intimately. For that very reason, I know lay down yet another challenge to him for his TV Title. And tonight, I shall emerge victorious!”

RATING: D+

2) In a video recorded earlier in the day, Alicia Strong was shown backstage approaching Tamara McFly. Alicia looked around hesitantly for a moment or two before speaking.

“You wanted to talk to me?” she asked.

Tamara nodded. “I’ve been thinking, and we need to end this between us, you know? We need to reach an understanding. So I was hoping we could talk things over.”

Alicia didn’t seem completely sold but stepped into the room anyway. “Okay. So what’s on your mind?”

Tamara smiled sweetly. “Just this.”

And then Alicia was clocked from behind. The camera pulled back to reveal that it was none other than Cherry Bomb. She and Tamara then took turns stomping and kicking Alicia into the ground. Tamara smiled sweetly again. “Consider the matter settled.”

RATING: E+

3) When we went live again, a newcomer was standing in the ring:

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i207/scapino1974/TEW2005/SuzanneBrazzle_alt1.jpg</div>

She introduced herself as Suzanne Brazzle. She said she was disappointed to learn what Cherry Bomb and Tamara McFly did to Alicia. She said that she’d leave Tamara to Commissioner Doom, but she didn’t think that Cherry Bomb deserved to hold the title anymore. So she challenged Cherry to get into the ring with her tonight.

Cherry Bomb came out and accepted.

RATING: C-

4) SUZANNE BRAZZLE vs. CHERRY BOMB © for the USPW Women’s Championship

An okay opening match, I guess. Suzanne put forward a great effort and managed to score a near fall within the first minute. But then Cherry Bomb powered past her defense and put her down with a Cherry Bomb.

WINNER: Cherry Bomb in 4:50

RATING: D

5) James Justice arrived at the arena, only to be confronted by an angry Bruce the Giant.

“What’s going on, Jim?” Bruce thundered. “You said I was going to be your next opponent for the title. You holding out on me?”

James raised his hands to defend himself. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that Doom was going to do that! Honestly! If it were up to me, it’d be you and me at ‘Red, White, and Blue!’ But it’s out of my hands now.”

Bruce stepped closer, slowly driving James back until his back hit the wall. Bruce towered over him, breathing heavily and looking as though he was about to hit him. Then he snarled and stomped away.

RATING: B+

6) Speaking of Commissioner Doom, he was in his office with the Forces of America. Captain USA did most of the talking, requesting that he and Jim Force be given a tag title shot against the Towers of Power this Friday. Doom smiled, his eyes closed, and then exhaled sharply.

“Agreed. But only if Mr. Force agrees to face Mr. T-Rex in the ring tonight.”

Jim seemed a bit surprised at that but he agreed.

RATING: C-

7) Al the Hillbilly came out to the ring and said that he understood that Larry Wood had been sent to bring he and his cousin home. But they didn’t want to go home. Not yet. They were having too much fun fightin’ in the USPW. “And ‘til we gots a good reason to go, we ain’t gonna go!”

RATING: E

8) AL THE HILLBILLY vs. LEX APPEAL

Lex looked a little lost in the ring and the crowd quickly picked up on it. They remained largely quiet through the match, even after Al picked up the win with a Southern Leg Drop.

WINNER: Al the Hillbilly in 5:53

RATING: E

9) But then Peter Valentine charged the ring and tossed Al over the top rope. He got a mic and went off on a tirade about Des Davids. “The boy doesn’t know when to give up!” he raged. “And now he’s cost me the gold? I don’t think so! Des, you better watch your back, because I’m coming for you!”

Des didn’t seem to care. He came out to the ring entrance and suggested that they meet in the ring again on Friday. Peter agreed, pointing out that he beat Des once. He’ll beat him again!

RATING: C+ for the raging; D for the challenge and its acceptance

10) EDD STONE vs. SAVAGE TIGER

Edd came out and waved to the crowd. They seemed a bit more into it as he and Savage Tiger tore it up in a decent aerial battle that ended with Edd putting Tiger down with the Party’s Over.

WINNER: Edd Stone in 8:17

RATING: D

11) Before Edd could leave the ring, though, Jumbo Jackson stomped out. He demanded to know what Edd was still doing in the USPW. Edd explained that the reason he came here was because he was sick of seeing Jumbo destroy good young workers for his own pleasure. So he came to put a stop to it.

Jumbo laughed at the idea and said there was only one way he was going to stop: if Edd could pin him in the ring. Edd agreed to a match this Friday. Then Jumbo shooed him out of the ring, calling out USPW’s own Happy Elwood to face him.

RATING: C- for the challenge and acceptance; D- for the call out

12) HAPPY ELWOOD vs. JUMBO JACKSON

Happy did his best to put Jumbo down but it soon became clear that Jumbo was only toying with him. The crowd didn’t seem to care at all, even as Jumbo put Happy down with a Jumbo Avalanche.

WINNER: Jumbo Jackson in 6:58

RATING: D-

13) T-Rex was headed to the ring for his match when Bruce appeared out of nowhere and attacked him, beating him down and tossing him into a brick wall. He then snared T-Rex and dragged him out of the ring and tossed him over the top rope to a waiting Jim Force.

RATING: B-

14) JIM FORCE vs. T-REX

Jim did his best to capitalize on a supposedly wounded T-Rex (although it was pretty obvious that T-Rex was just exhausted. The crowd still couldn’t rouse any interest, even as T-Rex managed to rally and then got Jim to tap out with a Jurassic Crush.

WINNER: T-Rex in 6:43

RATING: D-

15) Bruce was watching the match backstage and did not look happy at what happened. He turned to walk away when there was a sudden swell of organ music. Bruce stopped short to keep from running over Commissioner Doom. Doom did not look happy.

“Mr. Giant, what am I to do with you? I can’t have you attacking people in my backstage. Therefore, I hereby ban you from the building tonight and for ‘Red, White, and Blue!’”

Bruce looked about ready to haul off and deck Doom, but Doom raised a warning finger. “If you should lay a hand on me, I will be forced to suspend you for six months. Choose wisely.”

Bruce lowered his fist and then stomped out of the building.

RATING: B-

16) NICKY CHAMPION © vs. CHAMPAGNE LOVER for the USPW Television Title

An okay match but not by much. Nicky seemed surprised as Champagne Lover didn’t cower this time and kept the fight going. Lover even managed to duck an attempted Hawkeye Hammer and then hit his finishing move, which Shane Sneer identified as a Champagne Sunrise.

WINNER: Champagne Lover in 8:01

RATING: D

Shane and Danny then went over the card for “Red, White, and Blue!”

Alicia Strong vs. Tamara McFly

Al the Hillbilly vs. Larry Wood

Edd Stone vs. Jumbo Jackson

The Forces of America vs. the Towers of Power © for the USPW Tag Team Titles

Des Davids vs. Peter Valentine

James Justice © vs. T-Rex for the USPW World Title

THE AFTERMATH

After the show was over, I pulled Edd aside and asked about Jeremy’s odd response. He laughed.

“Yeah, that’s Jeremy for you. He’s probably just making sure he’ll do right by Dad before leaving. I’ll put in a good word for you, but don’t count on anything.”

As I left the arena, I was intercepted by Alicia. I didn’t meet her gaze. I had been thinking more and more lately about how I had treated her in Tamara’s promo from a few weeks ago. Sure, what I had Tamara say was all true. But considering Alicia had gotten me this job, I realized I should have handled things better.

“Look, I’m sorry about what I did–”

She shrugged, looking at her feet. Was she that mad at me?

“Don’t worry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t want to talk to you about that. I’ve been kind of stressed lately, and I was hoping ... well, I was thinking ... It’s been a while since we played ‘Supreme Challenge,’ and I thought maybe it’d be better if we played in the same room. You know?”

I relaxed instantly. “Powergrrrl, it would be my pleasure. But it’ll probably have to wait until after the pay-per-view.”

She smiled, a shy tug at her lips. “Sounds good to me.”

FINAL RATING: D-

Scapino1974 · January 21, 2009

USPW presents...

“Red, White, and Blue”

Friday of Week 4, February 2009

Held at the Louisiana Auditorium in the South East Territory

7,753 in attendance; Buy-rate of 0.42

Danny Jillefski and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

1) The crowd exploded as Sam Strong made his entrance into the arena. He waited for a moment or two before he raised a mic and the crowd stilled.

“Welcome to the first ever pay-per-view put on by United States Pro Wrestling.” The crowd cheered some more. “That’s right, and I’m excited about this as well! I know a lot of you have stuck with us through thick and thin, and I appreciate that. Tonight’s about you as well, so sit back and relax. You’re in for a great show, starting with our opening match.

“Now I know that Tamara McFly has been runnin’ her mouth about how Alicia’s some kinda princess. That’s stupid and I’ll tell you why. Yeah, she’s my little girl and always will be. But she’s the best USPW has to offer because she’s worked for it. No other reason. And if Tamara McFly can’t see that, she’s welcome to go back up north and ask her brother to get her a job again.

“But let’s not just take my word for it. Let’s see it for ourselves.”

RATING: D+

2) ALICIA STRONG vs. TAMARA McFLY

Great start for the night. Better than we’ve had in a while. Tamara tried to bad mouth Alicia into making a mistake but Alicia was all business, ignoring the provocation. That didn’t mean that Tamara made it easy for her. She wound up getting two near falls. But Alicia ultimately won the match with an Angel Driver.

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 10:42

RATING: C-

3) Larry Wood appeared on screen.

“Now I knows my cousins ain’t exactly the brightest of individuals. Heck, none of us have much need for book learning. We’s usually got our lessons the hard way, by takin’ our lumps and learnin’ hit or miss.

“Like my Grandpappy, Goose Duke Wood. Ol’ Goose, one day he decides he’s a-gonna chop down the ol’ willow tree outside his shed. An’ everyone tells him not to do it. ‘You chop that way, you’s gonna drop it on yer shack!’ Ol’ Goose though, he’s bound and determined to chop his way or no way. So he hacks away and chops and chops and next thing you know, timber, there goes that ol’ willow. And sure enough, crash, it lands on his shack. An’ inside was Gramma Ellie May Crow. Lucky for her, her head’s so thick, the willow split over her skull and she was fine, though she can’t rightly walk straight third Monday o’ the month ever since.

“Where was I? Oh yeah. My family’s always been kind of slow to learn and we’s usually gotta beat the lesson into each other. Which is what I’m a-gonna do to Al tonight. Count on it.”

RATING: D-

4) HYPERCAT! vs. SAVAGE FURY

Shane took the time to explain that he was responsible for this match, saying that he used his influence with Commissioner Doom on behalf of his clients to get them some action. Maybe he shouldn’t have bothered. The crowd mostly left to go get snacks or use the bathroom. Tribal Warrior pinned Velocidad with a Head Hunter Special.

WINNERS: Savage Fury in 4:54

RATING: E

5) Pete the Hillbilly was at a candy machine, shaking it and complaining about how it ate his quarter. He didn’t care for long, as Larry Wood ran up behind him and took him out.

RATING: E+

6) Des Davids appeared on screen. “Peter Valentine may think he’s moved past me, but he hasn’t. Not yet. So tonight, I’m going to show him why he shouldn’t underestimate me.”

RATING: D

7) AL THE HILLBILLY vs. LARRY WOOD

The crowd really didn’t care as Al tried to hype them up and get them on his side. Larry didn’t seem to mind their almost complete lack of interest. Instead, he focused on tossing Al around the ring before finally taking him out with the Running Big Foot.

“Well, I guess that’s that,” Shane said. “No more Hillbillys either.”

WINNER: Larry Wood in 6:53

RATING: E+

8) Apparently Larry wasn’t done with Al yet. He kicked his legs out from under him and then straddled his chest, raining fists on his face.

RATING: E+

9) Backstage, Alicia Strong seemed pretty pleased with herself. Sam was as well. He hugged her. “That’s my girl. Now you can go on to face Cherry Bomb at ‘Liberty and Justice!’ And I have absolutely no doubt that you’re going to win the title.”

Then Nicky Champion came in. Sam greeted him and said, “And here’s Nicky! How are you doin’? That was a tough break on Wednesday. I thought for sure you had him.”

Nicky waved away Sam’s words. “Sam, we have to talk. It’s about Doom. He’s not giving me a rematch.”

Sam frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I tried to get a match with Champagne Lover – or whatever his name is – for tonight but Doom said I couldn’t have one because this technically isn’t a TV show.”

Sam grimaced for a moment. “Well, he’s got a point, Nicky.”

“I know, but when I asked him for a rematch next Wednesday, he refused and said he had already booked Champagne Lover in another match.”

Sam frowned. “That ain’t right. You hold on, Nicky, I’ll see what I can do.”

RATING: C+

10) Jumbo Jackson appeared with Remmington Remus backstage. The young man tried to say something to kick off the interview, but Jumbo simply stole his mic and shoved him off screen.

“Edd Stone thinks he’s someone special ‘cuz of who his daddy is. Well, that doesn’t matter. I’m going to rip him limb from limb tonight and there isn’t anything he can do to stop me.”

RATING: C-

11) RODERICK REMUS vs. SAVAGE TIGER

Another impromptu match that the crowd didn’t get into. It didn’t help that Savage Tiger looked a bit sluggish in the ring. In the end, Roderick picked up the win with a Remus Crush.

WINNER: Roderick Remus in 4:49

RATING: E

12) T-Rex appeared on screen and smiled sadistically.

“So here we are, just as it was promised to me. James, I thank you for the interesting ride. But tonight, I’m going to get what’s really coming to me. I’m going to take your title and then make you extinct.”

RATING: C+

13) Peter Valentine looked at the camera and glowered. “Des Davids, you had your chance to walk away. I taught you a lesson last month that should have been enough for you. But if you have to learn it the hard way, I’m more than willing to give you some remedial lessons.”

RATING: C+

14) Edd Stone appeared next. “You know, I get that Jumbo isn’t happy I showed up here in the USPW. I get that he has his guaranteed contract and so he’s going to ‘take it easy’ and coast through. But when I saw him ripping apart those young workers, I knew I had to stop him. And tonight, he’s going to learn the hard way to stand on his own two feet, not the shoulders of others.”

RATING: C-

15) James Justice came out to the ring to a huge pop. He waved to the fans and then got the mic.

“T-Rex talks a good game, but a lot of people have tried to put me out of business. And they’ve all failed. Sure, I’m going to have a fight on my hands but at the end of the night, I’ll be the one leaving with this title. Count on it.”

RATING: B+

16) DES DAVIDS vs. PETER VALENTINE

Des and Peter did their best to get the crowd into this contest but they really weren’t able to capitalize on the energy James had created. Peter was pretty confident in the early going and with good reason. He knocked Des around and managed to get him down for what should have been a three count. But before the ref could count to three, Peter pulled Des’s shoulders up to keep up the fight.

That proved a costly mistake. Des came back to life, startling Peter with a flurry of offense. Peter managed to blunt it twice, but in the end, Peter wound up getting hit with a Quarterback Sack and Des got the pin.

WINNER: Des Davids in 8:39

RATING: D-

17) Des celebrated his win and Peter looked furious. Peter then charged Des with a savage cry, only to catch a boot to his chin, knocking him out. Des stood over him for a moment before getting out of the ring quickly.

RATING: C

18) EDD STONE vs. JUMBO JACKSON

Sadly, these two didn’t work well together in the ring. As a result, the crowd sat on their hands while Edd put up a decent fight. Jumbo clearly got more and more frustrated before finally, he rolled out of the ring, retrieved a chair, and used it to end the match. The ref immediately disqualified him and declared Edd the winner.

“Fat lot of good it’ll do him,” Shane commented as the ref helped him out of the ring.

WINNER: Edd Stone by DQ in 7:47

RATING: D-

19) Jumbo grabbed a mic and from the ring called after Edd. “Now go on home, little boy, and don’t come back to play with the big boys.”

RATING: C-

20) FORCES OF AMERICA vs. THE TOWERS OF POWER © for the USPW Tag Team Titles

The crowd’s mood continued to worsen through this one. It didn’t help that Captain USA looked pretty tired from the start. The wrestlers tried to cover for it by letting Jim Force carry most of the match, but it did little good. In the end, Mick pinned Jim for the win.

WINNERS: The Towers of Power in 7:48

RATING: D-

21) A video played, hyping James Justice and T-Rex as competitors. But Bruce the Giant featured heavily in it as well.

RATING: B-

22) JAMES JUSTICE © vs. T-REX for the USPW World Title

Not as good as I had hoped. T-Rex simply couldn’t handle this long of a match and looked about ready to drop. James Justice kept after him and carried him through, finally putting him out of his misery with a Liberation Slam.

WINNER: James Justice in 14:40

RATING: C-

23) The match was over and T-Rex lurched to his feet, looking ready to kill James. James saw him coming and dropped into a ready stance, clearly urging him to start fighting again.

And then Bruce the Giant charged out of the crowd and rolled into the ring.

T-Rex didn’t see him coming, although the crowd certainly did. They roared in approval as Bruce dropped down, ready to attack him. He charged forward. T-Rex turned just in time to see Bruce coming and ducked the blow. Bruce didn’t pull up fast enough and wound up laying out James instead.

T-Rex bailed out of the ring, leaving Bruce to glare after him.

RATING: B+

24) Commissioner Doom was watching a TV screen with a satisfied smirk on his face, his organ music low and ominous. But that changed as Sam Strong burst into his office.

“Doom, what do you think you’re doing? The backstage is in chaos right now and the stuff in the ring isn’t much better. I left you in charge because you said you could handle it.”

“And I can, Mr. Strong.”

“I’m not so sure. Like not giving Nicky a rematch this next Wednesday? What's that about?"

"I thought it best if-"

"Don't care. I'll make the match myself if I have to."

Doom's face closed down for a moment, then he smiled, sickly sweet. "Very well. He has his rematch."

"Good. There's a lot of work to do around here, so I’ll be taking a slightly more active role from here on out. Get used to seeing me around.”

With that, Sam left, leaving Doom a bit perturbed.

RATING: B-

THE AFTERMATH

In spite of the hot ending, we didn’t do so well. I’m not looking forward to whatever Sam has to say to me.

FINAL RATING: C-

Scapino1974 · January 21, 2009

Month’s End

“Whatever, get over it! It was just a joke!”

With that Peter Valentine got up and stormed out of my office. I sighed, resting my head in my hands. Apparently Peter had decided to celebrate the promotion’s first pay-per-view by leaving a big grocery bag full of dog crap in the ladies’ locker room. He was the only one who found it funny, but it was up to me to deal with it.

Remembering his connections, I decided to take a more laid back approach. You know, sit him down, suggest that maybe he not try that sort of thing. It didn’t go well.

Maybe I should have done something different. Or maybe I was simply distracted. I was supposed to go in to see Sam later that day and I had a feeling he wasn’t going to be happy.

Sure enough, he wasn’t.

“We’re still at number eight,” he pointed out. “And the pay-per-view contract hasn’t exactly helped us out. We still lost money, $43,239 to be exact.”

I didn’t meet his gaze. I couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was the short term contracts I had signed for Jumbo. Maybe it was paying Edd Stone. Sam stared at me for a while and then sighed.

“Look, kid, it’s not your fault. Maybe you weren’t ready for the book yet. I don’t know.”

I looked up in horror. Was I being fired?

Sam must have read the worry in my expression. “No, no, you’re not out yet. I signed a contract with you and you haven’t done anything to change that. But like I told Doom, I’m going to have to keep a closer eye on you I think. Give you a hand. That sort of thing.

“Starting with a new hire. I like what you tried to do with Lora Washington. Getting a few more workers with patriotic gimmicks might make for a nice face stable. So I did some digging and I had an idea. Chord’s got this worker up north that he really likes and I think he’d be a good fit with Cap and Lora.”

My eyes widened. Oh no. He couldn’t mean...

“I think the kid’s name is Brandon Smith. Rip speaks pretty highly of him, so I took the liberty of getting him on a pay-per-appearance contract. Work him in as soon as you can, okay?”

Next thing I knew, I was heading back to my office, numbness trickling from my head down to my feet. I somehow doubted things could get any worse than that.

foolinc · January 21, 2009

Nice. Using the poor results as a reason to bring in Brandon Smith. Can't wait to see how this unfolds.

Greg McNeish · January 21, 2009

Fantastic! Obviously, this had to come to be, but I'm still really looking forward to your behind-the-scenes segments with Brandon.

What will you do if he goes after Alicia Strong? POWERGRRRL!!!!!!

Scapino1974 · January 22, 2009

Reunions

My hand patted my thigh, a spasmodic rhythm I tried to still as I waited by the door to USPW headquarters. He must have known I’d be waiting for him. Why else would he be so late?

A car screeched to a halt outside the building and there he was: Brandon Smith, the man behind the mask, wearing a well worn black leather jacket. He smirked when he saw me, unzipping the jacket.

“Good to see you again!” he bellowed. “Never thought I’d ever feel so cold down here, but I guess that’s what happens when you stay away from Minnesota too long.”

He shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it to me. I caught it without thinking and he brushed past me, knocking me back a step. I closed my eyes, started a slow count to ten. I draped the jacket over my arm and went after him.

Brandon had gone down the wrong hallway and looked a bit perturbed. “Who laid out this place, a blind architect? Where’s the gym? The production studio?”

I caught up with him. “The gym’s down the hall. We’ve got a small room set up to pre-tape some of the interviews over this way.”

I showed him. It wasn’t much, just a dinky room with a camera and a few lights hanging from the ceiling. Brandon looked it all over for a moment before snorting.

“This is it? I thought you guys had a TV show!”

I clenched my jaw, swallowing a frustrated sigh. “We’re not the SWF, Brandon–”

Brandon suddenly smiled, any trace of annoyance gone. “Of course, of course. Why would you say that? But we’ve got the potential to get there, right?”

“You said it!”

Brandon brushed past me. I turned in time to see him shake hands with Sam who gave me a disapproving look before smiling at Brandon again.

“How was the trip down?”

Brandon shrugged. “Not too bad.”

“Sorry about the weather,” Sam commented. “I don’t know what happened to make it so cold right now.”

“No problem, sir, not your fault. Besides, I’m from Minnesota. This isn’t cold at all!”

Sam clapped him on the shoulder and took over as tour guide. I followed in their wake, Brandon’s jacket still draped over my arm. I felt like a butler. Or some kind of lap dog.

Now that he had an audience, Brandon was all smiles. He greeted each of our workers with a hearty handshake and repeated their names several times as if he were trying to remember them. He even elicited a beaming smile from Heather. She scurried back to work when she saw me.

Then it was on to the gym. Brandon pressed the flesh with the boys, most of whom sized him up and apparently were impressed by what they saw. I ground my teeth. Stay professional, stay professional...

The door to the women’s locker room banged open and Alicia walked in. Brandon froze for a moment, his eyes raking over her for a moment. Then his smile broadened. He stepped up to her, almost pressing against her, and took her hand, gently enveloping it in his bigger hand.

“And this must be Alicia. Brandon Smith. A pleasure to meet you.”

He leaned down and kissed her hand and cold coiled in my stomach. My fingers tightened on his jacket. Sam clapped Brandon on the back again.

“Kid, it’s great to have you here. I think you’re going to fit in just fine.”

pepper2008 · January 22, 2009

Next USPW World champion The Masked Patriot:)

James Casey · January 22, 2009

Really good to have you back, Scap - it just took one scene to establish Brandon Smith as a huge heel.

Now, will Alicia fall for his schtick? <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/wink.png.686f06e511ee1fbf6bdc7d82f6831e53.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Scapino1974 · January 23, 2009

Gaming with Powergrrrl

I liked Alicia’s apartment. Nice part of town, clean building. And she had decorated it nicely: some second hand furniture that closely matched, a few pictures on the wall of her with old veterans her dad knew, and a vintage poster from twenty years ago, depicting her father in his prime facing down Rip Chord. And yet there were plenty of feminine touches as well. A ridiculously large pink gorilla slumped in one corner, which Alicia said had been given to her by a high school sweetheart. Plus there were a few photos tucked away of Alicia with some college friends on spring break in Florida. I tried not to stare at the beach pictures for too long.

Alicia had greeted me in baggy sweats, her hair tied back with a scrunchy. The tour took five minutes: a quick peek at her bedroom, a wave toward where I could find the bathroom. Then it was settling into the couch, booting up the Stallwart, and selecting our characters. I tried to pick Runaway Train but Alicia snagged him before I could even blink. I sighed and settled for Angry Gilmore.

Alicia hit a sequence of buttons, triggering the early start to the match. Train lumbered forward, winding up for a massive swing. I fought to keep from smiling, quickly hitting the right trigger and the X and Y buttons simultaneously. Angry darted forward and drop kicked Train back and into the ropes.

Alicia squeaked in surprise. “I didn’t know you could do that!”

I allowed a smirk. Goggle had paid off this time. I was able to capitalize, darting Angry in and throwing a few quick punches that kept her on the defensive.

“So what do you think about Brandon?” I asked.

She shrugged, her brow crinkling. “Seems nice enough. You two knew each other back in Minnesota, right?”

“Something like that, yeah,” I said.

She glanced at me for a moment. “I take it you don’t like him all that much.”

I winced, the momentary distraction enough for Alicia to take control of the match. How much should I tell her? It could easily take all night and who knew what she’d think of me once I was done. I finally set myself and focused on the TV.

“What’s not to like?”

The game suddenly paused. Her hand came to rest on my arm. I turned and looked into her eyes, wide and soft. Warmth coursed through me, chased by electricity.

“Scap, please, try to get along with him. Dad ... Dad really likes him. And I know you’re kind of in hot water with Dad right now.”

My stomach fluttered and the warmth disappeared. I should have known. I could read between the lines. It wasn’t Sam who liked Brandon. Well, he did, obviously, but Alicia did too. Fine.

“No problem.”

She smiled and turned back to the game. I managed to dodge a Train of Pain and tripped Angry’s special move, the Anger Unleashed. Angry glowed red and then turned into a blur, ricocheting off of Train. His hitpoints dropped rapidly and I keyed up the Anger Management.

And that’s when Rip Chord hit the ring.

Not the Rip who ran MAW. No, this was Rip Chord in his prime, all swagger. He slid under the bottom rope and took Angry out with his patented DDT. The ref naturally didn’t see it and Train made the pin. I tried to kick out but it was no use.

I turned and gaped at her. She smiled sweetly.

“I just unlocked Rip in the campaign mode yesterday.” She laughed at me. “Oh, come on, you know that they just pick a random heel for the run in. Play you again?”

My eyes narrowed. I wasn’t leaving until I won.

Turned out it would be a long night, one that ended in frustration.

James Casey · January 23, 2009

You have entered... The Friend Zone!

You can try Googling a way out of it, but I suspect that'll be harder to find then Supreme Challenge codes.

Scapino1974 · January 24, 2009

USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 1, March 2008

Held at the War Memorial Auditorium in the Mid West Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!

Danny Jillefski and Shane Sneer welcomed us to the show.

1) A graphic appeared on screen, announcing that in just a moment, Nicky Champion would be facing Champagne Lover in a rematch for the TV Title.

RATING: E+

2) They also announced that Jumbo Jackson had picked another victim, “Some nobody who calls himself ‘Scapino,’” Danny Jillefski said with an audible sneer in his voice.

RATING: E-

3) NICKY CHAMPION vs. CHAMPAGNE LOVER © for the USPW Television Title

Pretty good match. Shane especially did his best, jeering at Nicky’s attempt to recapture his lost title. “He got exactly what he deserved last week. He’s nothing but a ****y kid anyway. What kind of loser calls himself ‘Champion?’ It’s just asking for trouble!”

Nicky had trouble with Champagne Lover. Lover was more relaxed this time, stopping occasionally to chat up one of the girls in the front row. He was doing that when Nicky charged in, ready to take him out. Instead, Lover countered with a Lover Stunner and then got the pin.

WINNER: Champagne Lover in 10:39

RATING: C-

4) James Justice came into the arena to a decent pop. He did not look happy, especially with the large bruise that peeked around the corner of his sunglasses. He stormed down the hall until he found Bruce the Giant. He grabbed Bruce by his shoulder and spun him around.

“You wanna explain what happened last Friday, Bruce?”

Bruce shrugged his massive shoulders. “I missed. Sorry about that.”

“Sorry? You nearly took my head off!” He pulled off his sunglasses to reveal the whole bruise. “I know you’re getting frustrated, but–”

“You think I did that on purpose? I tried to hit T-Rex for the way he’s been messing with me.”

“That’s what you say now, but–”

Bruce poked him solidly in the chest. “Listen, mate, if I was tryin’ to hit you, you wouldn’t be standing here now. So get over it and give me what I want ... my title match.” Bruce then shoved his way past him.

RATING: B+

5) Alicia came out to the ring to a moderate pop. But she didn’t acknowledge the fans. Instead, she looked right into the camera, her face intense.

“So here I am. I showed Tamara McFly exactly why she was wrong. Sure, my dad’s the owner of USPW. But you notice, when he started a women’s division, he didn’t hand me anything. Who was the first one to hold the title? Cherry Bomb. As a matter of fact, she still has it. But the distraction is over. Cherry, I know you have a match tonight against Lora Washington and I wish her luck against you. But should you come out with the strap, I dare you to face me in the ring at ‘Liberty and Justice!’ Because I’m rough, I’m tough, I’m–”

She was interrupted by Cherry Bomb’s entrance music. Cherry came out to the ring entrance and sneered at her.

“If? If? Little girl, might I remind you, I’m the champ and Lora Washington is some nobody that Captain USA dredged up from somewhere. This belt isn’t going anywhere tonight. And it wouldn’t go anywhere else even if you did face me in a month. You know why?”

Then Stephanie Wade, Amber Allen, and Tamara McFly charged the ring and attacked Alicia from behind. Cherry strutted down the ramp and got into the ring, standing over Alicia.

“Because unlike you, I’ve got friends here.”

RATING: C for the challenge; D+ for the response; E+ for the attack; D+ for the end

6) LORA WASHINGTON vs. CHERRY BOMB © for the USPW Women’s Title

Captain USA escorted Lora down to the ring and really did his best to shout encouragement to his “niece.” But it became clear as the match went on that Lora really wasn’t entirely sure of what she was doing. The crowd soured on the action pretty clearly. Several people actually cheered when Cherry Bomb dropped Lora with the Cherry Bomb.

WINNER: Cherry Bomb in 7:56

RATING: E+

7) Captain USA led Lora to the backstage area where they were met by Jim Force. Jim glanced in Lora’s direction and tried to say something to Cap. Cap didn’t respond until he handed Lora off to a medic.

“Look here, Cap, there’s business we gotta jaw over. You and me, we climbed the mountain only to fall back down again into the soup of despair. What we gotta do is get back on them foothills and climb our way up, up, up toward the top. Because them Towers of Power are nothing but Anthills of Apathy. Let’s go see the Doom and Gloom man and get us a rematch.”

Captain USA smiled but shook his head. “I can’t, Jim. I’ve got more family business to take care of tonight. Maybe some other time.”

RATING: D+

8) Jumbo Jackson appeared on screen. “Yeah, you all saw what happened to Edd Stone last week. He thought he could take me down, but he learned that’s a tall order. So now I go back to what I like to do. I take it easy, I pick my battles, and I come out looking great.

“Like tonight. Got a local boy on the card for me. Some clown who calls himself ‘Scapino.’ Don’t know why, don’t really care either. Because this is his one shot at fame, and it’s going to blow up in his face.”

RATING: D+

9) Organ music swelled as Peter Valentine entered Commissioner Doom’s office. Doom met him, stroking a white cat. Peter looked at the cat with a bit of confused, but launched into a lengthy tirade about Des Davids. “Did you see what happened on Friday? That punk Davids didn’t show me the proper respect he should have. I had him beat to rights and he didn’t do what he was supposed to.”

“And what would that be, Mr. Valentine?” Doom whispered. “After all, didn’t you continue the match when you had him pinned?”

Peter quaked with fury. “I was trying to teach him a lesson.”

“And I would say you were the one who received the education. What do you wish?”

“I want him again, in the ring, so I can destroy him.”

“While I relish your passion, Mr. Valentine, I’m afraid I can’t accommodate it at this time. You see, Mr. Davids wishes to move on. But if you have pent up fury you wish to unleash, I might be able to arrange for a suitable challenge.”

Peter snarled. “Whatever.”

And with that, he left the room. Doom smiled. “Excellent.”

RATING: C

10) Captain USA came out to the ring again with a mic.

“So Lora didn’t do so well. That’s okay. That happens sometimes. The important thing is, she’s learned from her mistakes and she’ll do better next time, I have no doubt. But it’s time for some new business. I’ve got another friend I want all of you to meet. No, this guy’s not family. I’m not really sure what his background is. But I know he loves this great country just as much as I do. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce you to ... the Masked Patriot!”

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i207/scapino1974/TEW2005/BulldozerBrandon_alt2.jpg

The Masked Patriot charged out to the ring and got a decent reaction. Maybe some of the smarks in the crowd knew about him from MAW. Maybe some of the parents remember the previous incarnations. Whatever the case, Cap let him work the crowd for a moment before going on.

“I love the fact that I’ve been able to gather so many patriotic people together. And I want to do right by the Masked Patriot here. That’s why I’m going to find him a great tag team partner. That way, the Masked Patriot and his partner, whoever he may be, can defend this great country’s honor. Thank you, and God bless America!”

RATING: C-

11) SCAPINO vs. JUMBO JACKSON

The other debut of the night did not go so well. The crowd clearly didn’t care who this Scapino person was and several of them started up a “Boring!” chant halfway through the match. Jumbo had his hands full, though, as Scapino slipped out of various pinning predicaments. Finally, though, Jumbo got him down and he stayed down. He strutted toward his fallen opponent, only to have Scapino trip him up and roll him into a pinning predicament. He kicked his legs wildly but couldn’t escape.

WINNER: Scapino in 10:11

RATING: D-

12) Needless to say, that was not Jumbo had planned. He argued with the ref for a few moments before yanking the celebrating Scapino from his perch on the ropes and hitting a Jumbo Avalanche, leaving the newcomer rolling on the ring. Danny Jillefski seemed particularly pleased at this turn of events.

RATING: E-

13) Once again, the organ music swelled as Bruce the Giant entered Doom’s inner sanctum. Doom is now feeding crickets to a large iguana. Bruce looks at the animal with a fair amount of disgust.

“Look here, Doom. You know what I want and you’re going to give it to me.”

“I’m afraid that simply isn’t possible, Mr. Giant. Not possible. Mr. Justice was called away on a family emergency and is no longer in the building.”

Bruce groaned and cracked his knuckles. Doom smiled, his eyelids half closed.

“I can see you have some pent-up frustration. I believe I can help. There is another man in this building in a similar state. Perhaps the two of you can work things out.”

“Whatever, mate.”

And with that, Bruce turned and left the office, leaving Doom with a sinister smile.

RATING: B-

14) Nicky Champion slams his locker shut backstage and pounds a fist against it. Sam Strong appears behind him.

“Tough break, Nicky. That’s rough. But don’t you worry. Things look bleak right now, but I’m going to give you a helping hand. We’re going to get you through this, okay? I promise. You’re gonna get on the right track again.”

Nicky seemed a bit happier as Sam put an arm around him and led him out of the locker room.

RATING: C

15) Larry Wood was searching the backstage area when he found Al and Pete standing by the craft services table, their plates filled with food.

“All right, boys, let’s git,” Larry said. “We’s gots to get back home and right soon. After all, I beat you both this past Friday and now you gotta come with me.”

Al and Pete exchanged looks and then they set their trays in Larry’s hands.

“Change of plans, ‘cuz,” Al said.

“We’s stayin’,” Pete added.

“And we’s got a match right now. Clean up for us, will ya?”

RATING: E+; E

16) THE HILLBILLYS vs. ANGER & LEX APPEAL

Al and Pete did not look good in the ring. Al seemed a bit lost and Peter was clearly exhausted within moments of the bell ringing. But then, Anger wasn’t looking too good either. Needless to say, when the best worker in a match is Lex Appeal, that should tell you something. Things finally ended with Pete getting a Big Splash on Lex.

WINNERS: The Hillbillys in 6:38

RATING: E

17) Organ music swelled and Doom appeared on the big screen, seated in a high-backed chair with a ferret in his arms. He said that he felt it was only fair to hold a match next week to determine the #1 Contender for the USPW World Title. Nicky Champion, Bruce the Giant, Jim Force, and Jumbo Jackson would all be in the ring at the same time. “And whoever gets the pin will get the match.”

RATING: C-

18) BRUCE THE GIANT vs. PETER VALENTINE

Both men came out practically frothing at the mouth. And that was pretty much the highlight of the match. Bruce was exhausted at the end of the match and Peter seemed a bit off as well. They didn’t do a lot of selling of each other’s offense, but Danny passed that off as both men being so hopped up on rage that they couldn’t feel pain.

In the end, Bruce had Peter stunned and tried to set him up for the Giant Choke Slam. But then Peter blocked it and somehow managed to hit the Heart Breaker. He then got the pin by using the ropes to hold Bruce down.

WINNER: Peter Valentine in 7:40

RATING: D

19) Sam Strong then appeared on screen.

“Thanks for tuning in tonight, everyone. I like to think we here at USPW can help people learn valuable life lessons.

“Take tonight, for instance. We learned that you gotta be careful what you wish for. Take my boy Nicky, for example. He wanted that rematch with Champagne Lover so badly but when he got it, he didn’t do so hot. No problem, we’ll get that straightened out.

“An’ look at ol’ Jumbo Jackson. He thought he could coast through challenging nobodies and knockin’ them around for a while. Look how well that turned out.

“And Bruce. Poor Bruce. He’s so blinded by wantin’ that gold, he lost track of what really matters: winning matches. Now he’s gotta go into that fourway next week on the losin’ end, and that just ain’t good.

“So remember, kids. Be careful what you wish for. Because sometimes, you get more than you want.”

RATING: B

THE AFTERMATH

Apparently I was used too much. Might have to be careful on that.

More troubling, Anger apparently decided to take out his frustration with his performance by picking a fight with Captain USA. It luckily didn’t come to blows, but I sent Anger down to help the boys load the ring onto the truck. A few extra hours of work seemed to teach him a lesson.

FINAL RATING: D

Scapino1974 · January 25, 2009

USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 2, March 2008

Held at the Den in the New England Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!

Danny Jillefski and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

1) ALICIA STRONG vs. STEPHANIE WADE

Danny and Shane reminded the audience that Stephanie Wade helped attack Cherry Bomb last week on “American Wrestling.” Apparently that prompted Alicia to go to Commissioner Doom and ask for this match. Stephanie seemed a little unsure of herself in the ring, but Alicia covered it nicely. She kept after Stephanie until she finally took her out with an Angel Driver.

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 6:33

RATING: C-

2) Alicia didn’t get the chance to savor her victory as Amber Allen and Tamara McFly attacked her, beating her down and leaving her in the middle of the ring.

RATING: E

3) James Justice came in through a door only to be intercepted by Bruce the Giant. He sighed but Bruce started to follow him.

“So everything all right with the family, Jim? We can expect to see you here for the whole show, right?”

James turned on Bruce. “It’s none of your business what I do, Bruce.”

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong. See, I keep trying to get a shot at that belt you have there. And every time I think I get a step closer, some roadblock pops up. T-Rex. Family emergencies. That sort of thing. But now, after tonight, I’ll be officially declared the #1 Contender. And then what you do is completely my business. See you around, Jim.”

RATING: B

4) Organ music swells as the door to Commissioner Doom’s office opens and Sam Strong walks in. Sam looks around the shadowy interior and crosses over to Doom’s desk, upon which a large map is laid out. Wooden pieces dot the table with colorful flags on each. Doom sits at his desk, staring at the map with his fingers steepled.

“How can I help you, Mr. Strong?”

Sam looked over the map for a second. “Yeah, Doom, I just wanted to stop in and thank you for helping out Nicky. He really needs a confidence booster and, win or lose, I think this will help.”

“Of course. I live to serve.” Doom leaned forward and pushed one of the wooden pieces across the map.

Sam watched him do so and then took a closer look. “Are you really sure you want to get into a land war in Asia? That seems like a pretty big blunder, if you ask me?”

Doom’s eyes snapped up to Sam and he glared at him. Sam threw up his hands. “Just sayin’ is all.”

RATING: E+

5) THE HILLBILLYS vs. T-REX & ERIC THE BULL

Huh. This time only Eric was off his game. So the match wasn’t a complete disaster. At any rate, the Hillbillys looked about ready to sew this one up pretty quickly when Larry Wood hit the ring. He knocked Al off his perch and then, while T-Rex distracted the ref, knocked Pete off his feet. That allowed Eric to hit the Pancake Maker and get the pin.

WINNERS: T-Rex & Eric the Bull in 4:13

RATING: D-

6) Shane and Danny tried to dissect what they just saw when Captain USA came out to the announce table. He asked to talk business with Shane.

Shane exchanged a surprised look with Danny but agreed. It turned out that Cap wanted to hire Tribal Warrior’s services. “See, I’ve got some applicants lined up who want to team with the Masked Patriot. And I know Java’s home on some sort of tribal business, so I was thinking...”

“You want to hire Warrior to see how these guys do?”

Captain nodded and Shane winced.

“I don’t know. He’s pretty busy right now himself...”

Cap sighed and pulled out a wad of bills. Shane’s eyes brightened as he snatched them away, then he managed to calm himself and nodded. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

RATING: D+

7) Jumbo entered Doom’s office. The Commissioner didn’t even bother to look up as he pondered the map before him.

“How can I help you, Mr. Jackson?”

“It’s that kid, Scrappy-Doo or whatever his name is. I want a rematch against him tonight.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you there, Mr. Jackson.” He reached toward one flag and then must have thought the better of it, withdrawing his hand. “I have already booked the young man in a match against Mr. Anger for tonight.”

Jumbo didn’t look happy. But then he noticed the map and looked it over. “Stuck?”

“Yes, I believe I am.”

“Oh, I can solve this.”

Before Doom can stop him, Jumbo picks up one of the flags and jumps it over several others like checkers, before dropping it before an angry Doom. “King me.”

Doom’s eyes narrowed. “Please leave, Mr. Jackson.”

RATING: D+

8) Bruce stomped down the hall, stretching his arms and legs. He turned a corner and almost ran over Champagne Lover. Lover backed up a step and looked up and up at Bruce.

“Please to watch where you are going, Bruce. I know you are all hot and bothered tonight, but there is no need for such rude behavior.”

Bruce snarled at him and shoved him out of the way.

RATING: C

9) Nicky Champion also was getting ready for the match, taping up his wrists. But he paused and turned around to face Sam Strong.

“Sam, I’m not sure about this. I mean, it’s great that you think I’m ready, but I don’t know...”

“Nonsense! You are ready! Just go out there and do your best. Trust me. You’ll be fine.”

RATING: D-

10) Captain USA came out to the ring with Tribal Warrior in tow. He said that he was going to hold the first “audition” to determine who the Masked Patriot’s partner would be. He encouraged the crowd to make a lot of noise for Happy Elwood.

RATING: E

11) HAPPY ELWOOD vs. TRIBAL WARRIOR

You could tell that these two really gelled in the ring together, but the problem was, Warrior was a bit sloppy in the ring. There were some obviously missed spots and it really upset some of the crowd. Happy ricocheted around the ring, barely getting in any offense, before Warrior put him down with a Head Hunter Special.

WINNER: Tribal Warrior in 5:01

RATING: E

12) NICKY CHAMPION vs. JIM FORCE vs. BRUCE THE GIANT vs. JUMBO JACKSON to determine the #1 Contender for the USPW World Title

When the bell rang, the four competitors circled each other warily for a few moments before Jim Force let out a primal scream and charged Bruce. He threw a few punches at Bruce’s chest and stomach, none of which seemed to do any good. Bruce finally looked up at the crowd with a bemused smirk and gestured at Jim as if to say, “Can you believe this guy?” He then palmed Jim’s face and headbutted him, sending the smaller man reeling. He was immediately jumped by Jumbo Jackson from behind and the fight was well and truly on.

But Bruce was a bit too clumsy through the match and he quickly tired. He finally managed to toss both Nicky and Jumbo out of the ring and hit a Giant Choke Slam on Jim. But before he could pin him, Champagne Lover raced out from the back and hit him with a Lover Stunner. The ref tried to signal for the bell, but Lover yelled something at him and handed him a sheet of paper. The ref read it quickly and looked positively stunned. He then stepped aside, allowing Lover to pin Jim.

Champagne Lover quickly got out of there while Danny and Shane screamed in confusion about what just happened.

WINNER: Champagne Lover in 9:07

RATING: D

13) SCAPINO vs. ANGER

A quicker match than last week, one that was marred by the fact that Anger seemed a bit off tonight. Scapino managed to trip him up and get him pinned.

WINNER: Scapino in 3:46

RATING: D-

14) Before Scapino could celebrate, though, Jumbo Jackson hit the ring and attacked him before the ref could push Jumbo away.

RATING: D-

15) Backstage, Jim Force found Captain USA, who was looking over a few files and making notes on a pad of paper. Jim knocked the files away.

“Where were you, huh? I’m out there, fighting for my life, and you’re back here pushing paper? Where’s the love? I’ll tell you! He’s out there gettin’ the one-two-three while my partner, my blood, is playin’ match-maker for some kid with a latex face! It ain’t right, man, it ain’t right!”

Before Cap could answer, Jim was off, ranting the whole way.

RATING: D+

16) Des Davids came to the ring and got the mic. “I once said I was a man of few words, and it’s true. I let my actions speak for me. And two weeks ago, my actions proved that I’m better than Peter Valentine.”

RATING: D+

17) DES DAVIDS vs. MICK MUSCLES

It was pretty clear that these two did not know how to work with each other and the crowd really soured on the match pretty quickly. It was a relief when Des hit the Quarterback Sack.

WINNER: Des Davids in 5:41

RATING: E+

18) Des went up the ramp to leave but then stopped to wave to the fans again. That proved to be a mistake as Peter Valentine came out from behind and attacked him, tossing him into part of the set and then stomping away.

RATING: D+

19) JAMES JUSTICE © vs. DANNY RUSHMORE for the USPW World Title

We finally had a match that the crowd got into! Danny did his best to get James down and even managed to score a near fall, but as Shane pointed out, “Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.” James quickly rallied, knocked Danny around, and finally put Danny down with a Liberation Slam.

WINNER: James Justice in 6:32

RATING: B-

20) Once again, Sam appeared with a cheery smile.

“So I suppose you’re wondering why Champagne Lover was able to get the pin. Well, he saw something everyone else missed. Remember last week? Doom said that the #1 Contender is whoever got the pin in tonight’s match. Lover realized that Doom never said it had to be one of the participants and even found it in writing in the contract that all four guys signed. That’s why he was allowed to get the pin. That’s why he’s now the #1 Contender for the USPW World Title.”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t particularly like it either, but there’s a valuable life lesson in there: always read the fine print. It’s when you don’t that things come around and bite you.”

RATING: B+

THE AFTERMATH

Oddly, some people thought that Sam was slightly overused. But on the whole, the show turned out all right in the end.

FINAL RATING: C

TheBrockLock · January 25, 2009

[“Are you really sure you want to get into a land war in Asia? That seems like a pretty big blunder, if you ask me?”

It would have really been bad if he tried to to do a battle of wits against a sicilian with death on the line, becuase everyone knows that is only sightly less known then how bad of and idea it is to get into a land war in Asia.

LFC_chris · January 25, 2009

Oddly, some people thought that Sam was slightly overused.

What is Sam being pushed as? If you change his to a personality you can use him a lot longer than if he's still a road agent.

Scapino1974 · January 25, 2009

He is still a road agent, so I guess that change would be a good one.

Greg McNeish · January 26, 2009

A recommendation, in that case, is to have him pushed as a Road Agent as you book your matches (so he automatically gets pegged to agent them), then switch his push before running the show. It saves you having to select him, every match.

Great stuff. I also busted a gut over that land war comment. Doom is interesting to me, for the first time ever.

Scapino1974 · January 26, 2009

USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 3, March 2008

Held at Washington State Gymnasium in the North West Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!

Danny Jillefski and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

1) ALICIA STRONG vs. AMBER ALLEN

Once again, Danny explained that this match was requested by Alicia to get a measure of revenge on Amber for what she had done both two weeks ago and last week. Another solid performance from these two. This time, Alicia went a bit “old school” on Amber, putting her down with a Strong Arm Tactic.

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 11:02

RATING: C-

2) Tamara predictably hit the ring and although Alicia tried to fight her off, Tamara managed to get in a lucky punch and laid Alicia out. Tamara smirked down at her.

RATING: D-

3) Nicky Champion looked particularly depressed backstage. Sam Strong stood in front of him, his arms crossed. Then he took Nicky by the shoulders and shook him a little.

“Snap out of it, Nick! Yes, you lost the rematch. But that’s okay. You’re destined for bigger things than that. You’re a Champion by name and by nature. So yeah, you’re on a downward streak, but that’s okay, because I know you can turn this around and show the world how great you are! And I’m here to help you, don’t forget. You just sit tight and listen to me and before you know it, you’ll be the king of the mountain!”

RATING: A

4) T-Rex and Sheik Mustafa were backstage chatting about something when suddenly, Bruce the Giant appeared next to them.

“G’day, you two. Rex, you and me have to talk.”

T-Rex tried to bail, but Bruce snared his shirt from behind. Mustafa threw a few ineffectual punches. Bruce palmed his face and slammed him into a wall, knocking him cold. He then dragged T-Rex away.

RATING: B+

5) Captain USA came out again and said it was time to audition another hopeful for the Masked Patriot’s partner. This time, he was sending in Roderick Remus to face Tribal Warrior.

RATING: E

6) RODERICK REMUS vs. TRIBAL WARRIOR

It was an okay crowd but the crowd didn’t seem that into it. Roderick did an okay job keeping a step ahead of Warrior. In the end, he put him in a camel clutch, which Danny dutifully called the Remus Clutch.

WINNER: Roderick Remus in 7:55

RATING: E

7) Captain USA came into the ring and seemed pretty pleased. He walked a circle around Roderick, stroking his chin thoughtfully, before offering Roderick his hand. He then got the mic and announced that starting next week, Roderick would be the newest member in Team USA, Masked Patriot’s partner and one half of the USPW’s newest tag team, the Prime Patriots.

RATING: D+

8) Someone new came out to the ring:

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i207/scapino1974/TEW2005/ErnestForthdyke-Hume.jpg

He introduced himself as Ernest Forthdyke-Hume, esquire, legal representative for Larry Wood. On behalf of his client, he was challenging the Hillbillys to a tag match. “The stipulations are thus: if my client and a partner of his choosing are able to pin the Hillbillys, they must return to their home forthwith. Should the Hillbillys win, they may ignore my client’s request.”

Al and Pete came out, looking a bit confused. “You mind explainin’ them there words you said?” Al asked. “You’s sayin’ if’n we beat Larry and this other guy, he’ll leave us alone?”

Ernest nodded. Al and Pete glanced at each other for a moment then nodded. “Sounds good to us.”

RATING: E+ for the challenge; E- for the acceptance

9) Organ music swelled as Sam Strong entered Doom’s office. He stopped short when he realized that Doom was seated on a massive wooden chair, almost throne-like, in a pool of light. An artist was hard at work, painting his portrait.

Doom glanced at Sam with a sweet smile. “How may I help you, Mr. Strong?”

“Look, I’m hopin’ I can get a match for Nicky Champion. Doesn’t have to be anything big, just something to pick up his spirits a little. Got anything like that?”

Doom nodded. “I believe I do. Go and prepare young Mr. Champion. Tonight he shall face Mr. Eric the Bull.”

RATING: E+

The crowd practically rioted at the sight of Scapino taking on Champagne Lover for a title already. They cheered for the champ as he put the newcomer away with a Champagne Sunrise.

WINNER: Champagne Lover in 9:27

RATING: D+

11) Backstage, Remmington Remus was waiting as Scapino came out from ringside. He patted Scapino on the shoulder.

“Tough break out there, especially with how the crowd reacted.”

Scapino shrugged. “Yeah, that’s true. But it’s all good. I mean, it’s just great to be here, doing what I love. I’ve watched wrestling for as long as I can remember, so to be here, being given a chance to be in the ring, it’s a dream come true.”

And then Jumbo Jackson came out of nowhere and ran Scapino down.

RATING: D+

12) Somewhere in a dimly lit corner of the building, T-Rex was tied to a chair. He struggled against his bonds and then looked around in a bit of a panic.

Then Bruce appeared out of the darkness with his own chair. He slammed it down in front of T-Rex and then straddled it backwards.

“Let’s you and me talk, okay?” Bruce whispered. “Seems like whenever I get close to Justice’s title, you pop up and wreck it all. Now I’m only going to ask you once: what’s the deal?”

T-Rex leaned away from Bruce but shook his head, clamping his mouth shut. Bruce sighed and then stood up, circling around T-Rex for a moment.

“Shame you feel that way. It really is. Because now I’ve got to persuade you.”

Before Bruce could even lay a finger on him, T-Rex broke down. “Look, it wasn’t my idea, okay? I didn’t want to do it, but he insisted!”

“Who?”

T-Rex winced. “James Justice! He didn’t want to face you, so he convinced me to get under your skin, keep you distracted so he wouldn’t have to fight you. Honest! Why do you think he gave me a title shot last month? That was what I asked for to do all that!”

Bruce grumbled something under his breath and then stomped away, disappearing into the shadows. He missed the satisfied smirk that appeared on T-Rex’s face.

RATING: A

13) NICKY CHAMPION vs. ERIC THE BULL

The crowd didn’t get into this one. Sam escorted Nicky down to the ring where Eric waited. Nicky did his level best to take Eric out, but he just couldn’t keep him down. In the end, Nicky seemed to trip over his own feet, allowing Eric to swoop in with a Pancake Maker for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Eric the Bull in 7:43

RATING: E

14) Jim Force entered Doom’s office, the door shutting punctuated by a crescendo of organ music. Doom was still posing for his portrait. “Yes, Mr. Force? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Jim looked between the canvas and Doom for a moment before stepping closer. “Well sir, Doom, I’ve got this need that’s gotta be met. I’ve got the fire and it can’t be put out. I gotta get in the ring, sir, and you’re the man that can make it happen.”

“I see. And who is it you wish to fight?”

“The chap with the strap, that new guy, what’s-his-name. The booze hound. The ladies’ man.”

“You mean Mr. Champagne Lover?”

“That’s the one!”

Doom sighed. “Very well. Next week, you shall indeed face Mr. Lover for his title. Good day, Mr. Force.”

Jim nodded and started to leave. Then he looked at the artist. “That ain’t too bad. What’s it supposed to be?”

Doom snarled. “I said good day, Mr. Force.”

RATING: D+

15) Now Nicky looked really despondent in the back. He sat on a bench, his head in his hands, and looked about ready to start crying. Sam came in and sat down next to him.

“I’m sorry, Sam, I am. I know you did your best but I just let you down.”

Sam shook his head. “It’s no problem, Nick. No problem at all. Look, we all go through this sort of thing. I remember this one time, I was supposed to fight Rip Chord for the title, and I–”

Nicky stood up suddenly and walked away, saying, “I’m sorry, Sam, I just...”

And then he was gone, leaving Sam looking thoughtful.

RATING: B+

16) Peter Valentine came out to the ring and said that the time had come for he and Des Davids to finish things. He said he wanted to face Des one more time at “Liberty and Justice.” He demanded that Des come out and give him an answer right then and there.

Des did come out to answer and said, “I will, but on one condition: we face off in a steel cage!”

Peter swallowed hard but then nodded. Danny and Shane could hardly believe it.

RATING: C-

An okay match. Jumbo probably dragged on it a little. At any rate, the two of them knocked each other around until Jumbo started to set up James up for the Jumbo Avalanche. And then Scapino charged out to the ring and hopped up onto the apron. Jumbo went after him and swung a big fist, only to have Scapino duck it. But the distraction turned out to be more than enough time for James Justice to recover. When Jumbo turned back to his opponent, he was taken down with a Liberation Slam.

WINNER: James Justice in 10:54

RATING: C+

18) Sam appeared on screen and smiled.

“It would seem that Jumbo there learned a valuable lesson: what goes around, comes around. Call it divine justice, karma, whatever. You can’t keep messin’ around like he does without it comin’ around again to get you. So be good out there, kiddies. Don’t let Uncle Sam down.”

RATING: B+

THE AFTERMATH

I came out of the arena after my run-in and was promptly handed a cell phone. On the other end was a representative from PPV-4-U.

“Sorry to tell you this, but we’re not going to allow you to do a cage match on your next show with us. Too violent.”

I froze. I knew it would be hard to pull off a family-friendly cage match, but I figured it was worth a shot. “How about a Last Man Standing match? That’s not nearly as–”

The guy on the phone laughed. “Nice try. I’m not that stupid. That’s out too. Just do a regular match or we’ll find you in breach of contract.”

I hung up, my head spinning. That’s all I needed, especially after Des so boldly made it a cage match tonight. Could anything else go wrong?

I soon realized something could. The unmistakable odor of dog crap wafted down the corridor. I groaned and followed it to its source: the men’s lockerroom. I poked my head inside and groaned.

It coated the walls, a brown paper bag in the middle of the room and smoking. I looked at Happy Elwood, who quickly looked down and away.

“Peter?” I asked.

He nodded. “Said he wanted to leave a lasting mark on the building. With an M-80 to boot.”

I sighed. A janitor from the building was heading in with a mop. I stopped him.

“We’ll take care of this, not you.” I flagged down a backstage worker. “Get Peter Valentine for me.” I met Happy’s gaze. “I figure if he made the mess, he better clean it up.”

RATING: C

Scapino1974 · January 26, 2009

The Stone Crumbles

I came into the office feeling pretty pleased with myself. Peter seemed to get the message after spending six hours cleaning up after his own prank. And earlier in the week, I had received a cryptic note that merely said, “You’re welcome.” It wasn’t until I checked my messages that I understood who it was from and why.

Simply put, there was nothing that could ruin my mood.

Or so I thought. I came crashing back to earth when I booted up my computer and headed to ProWrestlingHits.com. I could hardly believe the first story:

Dan Stone retires from wrestling!

Apparently citing health issues, Dan Stone had decided to completely leave the industry. He was stepping down from control of NOTBPW and giving control over to ... Jeremy Stone?

I groaned. So much for my good mood.

Astil · January 28, 2009

Can I just say I love the Uncle Sam endings.

KUTGW.

Phantom Stranger · January 28, 2009

Can I just say I love the Uncle Sam endings.

KUTGW.

This.

Scapino1974 · January 28, 2009

Thank you kindly!

Scapino1974 · January 28, 2009

USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 4, March 2008

(The Go-Home Show for “Liberty and Justice!”)

Held at Grissom Auditorium in the South West Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!

Danny Jillefski and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

1) Bruce the Giant was charging through the backstage as the show started. He came up short when he found James Justice. He got in James’s face.

“Now I know the truth. Now I know how scared you are of me!”

James claimed he didn’t know what Bruce was talking about, so Bruce told James about what T-Rex had told him. James indignantly said that T-Rex was lying. “I’m not scared of you or anyone!”

Bruce leaned in close. “You should be scared of me, Jim. You should be very scared of me.”

RATING: C+

2) Nicky Champion once again looked severely depressed. Sam paced in front of him. “Nicky, look, I need you to be honest with me. Do we want the same thing? I mean, I want to see you succeed. I really do. But you have got to snap out of this. Yeah, you had some hard knocks, but you’ll bounce back. We all do!”

Nicky didn’t say anything and finally left the room. Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I gotta do something about this.”

RATING: B+

3) Cherry Bomb appeared backstage with Tamara McFly. Cherry pointed out that this Friday was “Liberty and Justice” and that somehow, Alicia had gotten her match. “I need you to slow her down, Tamara. Keep her from taking what’s mine.”

Tamara nodded, saying it would be no problem.

RATING: D-

4) ALICIA STRONG vs. TAMARA McFLY

Unfortunately, Alicia seemed a bit distracted in the ring and it really dragged on the match. She and Tamara went through a pretty standard match with Tamara cheating every chance she got. Alicia rallied and finally put her down with an Angel Driver.

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 6:43

RATING: D+

5) Bruce came into the office of Commissioner Doom and stopped short. The painting from last week was hung over the desk and Doom glowered down menacingly from it. Bruce crossed over to Doom’s desk, where the commissioner was hard at work shuffling papers around (for once).

Bruce knocked the papers from the desk and Doom paused, then looked up at him with one upraised brow. “Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Giant?”

“You know there is. You can scrap that garbage match between James Justice and Champagne Lover and give him to me!”

Doom shook his head. “I am afraid I cannot do that, Mr. Giant. Mr. Lover would have grounds to sue USPW for breach of contract. We can’t have that. No, not at all.”

Bruce’s hands balled into fists. That got Doom’s attention.

“I am afraid I will have to ask you to leave. Now.”

RATING: C+

6) THE HILLBILLYS vs. PRIMAL RAGE

Just for fun, I put Anger and T-Rex in a tag team together and it seems like they did a pretty good job together, especially with Sheik Mustafa in the corner with them. It didn’t really seem to matter, as the crowd didn’t get into the match, even after Al put down Anger with a Southern Leg Drop.

WINNERS: The Hillbillys in 4:40

RATING: E+

7) Bruce paced angrily backstage, looking like he wanted to tear something apart. That’s when Sam Strong approached him.

“Look, Bruce, I need a favor from you. Nicky, he’s been having a really hard time lately, and I was hoping that maybe you could have a match with him. Nothing too rough, mind you, just something to help him get his feet under him again. And I figured since you’re not doin’ anything else that night, it might as well be with you, okay?”

Bruce froze but Sam didn’t seem to notice. He clapped him on the shoulder and kept walking. Crimson crept up Bruce’s neck and into his cheeks. He snarled and then turned, only to find himself face to face with Champagne Lover.

Lover looked up at him and started to laugh before walking away and toward the ring.

RATING: C

An okay match. Jim tried to work up the crowd by pumping his arms and shouting. Instead of the crowd getting pumped up, Champagne Lover merely imitated him, which elicited more laughs from the audience. That made Jim a little reckless and he quickly fell to a Lover Stunner.

WINNER: Champagne Lover in 9:49

RATING: D

9) Nicky was backstage by himself when someone came in and told him the good news. Sam had indeed made a match between Nicky and Bruce the Giant. Nicky looked like someone told him his dog died. He collapsed on the bench and stared vacantly at the lockers.

RATING: D-

10) Jumbo Jackson came out and said he wanted a rematch against Scapino. Scapino came out and agreed to the match, saying that they’d face off next week.

RATING: D+ for the challenge; D for the response

11) THE CAT MASTER vs. PETER VALENTINE

“This guy still works for us?” Shane asked snidely as the Cat Master came out to the ring.

The crowd didn’t care for this match, especially as the middle dragged out in a choppy fashion. It mercifully ended when Peter hit the Heart Breaker for the win.

WINNER: Peter Valentine in 7:37

RATING: E

12) Captain USA came out with his proteges, Roderick Remus and the Masked Patriot. On their behalf, he laid down a challenge to the Towers of Power for the tag titles.

Out came Danny and Mick. They accepted, laughing the whole time.

RATING: D+ for the challenge; E+ for the acceptance

A pretty decent match. Ernest Forthdyke-Hume led Larry out to the ring and really helped things flow, occasionally distracting both James and the ref. But in spite of it all, James managed to come out on top, dropping Larry with a Liberation Slam.

WINNER: James Justice in 13:10

RATING: C+

14) James waved to the crowd and went from post to post, posing with the belt. And that’s when all hell broke loose. Bruce the Giant charged the ring and laid James out, stomping him mercilessly before the ref pushed him back and ordered him away.

RATING: B

15) Sam Strong appeared on screen and went over the card for “Liberty and Justice”:

The Hillbillys vs. Larry Wood and a mystery partner

Des Davids vs. Peter Valentine in a steel cage

Nicky Champion vs. Bruce the Giant

Once he was done, Sam looked thoughtful. “You know, you gotta be careful that you don’t push a man too far. I think that’s what happened with Bruce. We all knew what he wanted for the past coupla months and he just never got it. And now, I think we’re all in trouble. Better tune in next time, kiddies, ‘cause Uncle Sam thinks it’ll be an interesting time.”

RATING: A

THE AFTERMATH

I said good-bye to each of the workers as they left the arena. I screwed on a plastic smile as Brandon approached. He waved at a few people and then stepped in close to me.

“You better not mess with me, kid, you got it? Don't forget, I've got some stroke here already and I can make things very difficult for you.”

With that, he shoved his way past me and left. I sighed. What choice did I have? Sam liked him.

FINAL RATING: C

As always, comments, predictions, etc...

foolinc · January 28, 2009

The Hillbillys vs. Larry Wood and a mystery partner

Des Davids vs. Peter Valentine in a steel cage

Nicky Champion vs. Bruce the Giant

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