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USPW: Where the '90s Go to Die


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Greed

 

“You want what?”

 

I was barely able to get those three words out of my throat and the answer was a non-distinct buzzing in my ears. My grip tightened on the phone receiver.

 

USPW’s contract with Sports America was coming due. We only had three episodes left and so, I naturally contacted the network, hoping we could extend for the rest of the year. Maybe even longer. The network was fine with that, only they wanted a slight modification to the terms.

 

As in, they wanted us to foot 90% of the production costs while they took all of the advertising revenue.

 

“Listen, I don’t think that’s entirely fair,” I said, cutting off the network’s representative. I couldn’t remember his name. Frankly, I didn’t care anymore.

 

“I can understand that,” he replied. “But let’s be honest. Your number haven’t been the best lately and the network worries that you’re going to slide even further. This is our way of hedging our bet by allowing you to remain on the air.”

 

I closed my eyes. “You know, you’re not the only network out there.”

 

Silence. Then, “You certainly are welcome to try. If you can’t find a more agreeable contract, please let us know.”

 

I hung up the phone and bellowed, “Heather, I need the numbers for the other national networks!”

 

A week later, I had to swallow my pride and re-sign with Sports America. Their representative was gracious, if a bit smug.

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USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 2, May 2008

Held at War Memorial Auditorium in the Mid West Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!

 

Mitch Naess and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

 

1) The crowd popped as Dan Stone Jr. made his way out to the ring.

 

“It’s great to be here in the midwest! I know you’re all looking forward to tonight’s show, and we’re just as excited to give it to you. But before I get started, facing the #1 Contender for the USPW World Title, namely Peter Valentine, I want to take care of some business.

 

“Bruce the Giant. My Dad always used to tell me that if you wanted respect, you had to climb the mountain first. And while USPW has some big men on its roster, you are by far the biggest. And, if I’m not mistaken, you’re not busy for ‘Declaration of Independence!’

 

“Like I said last week, I came down south from Canada to make a name for myself. And I can’t think of a better way than to get you to tap!”

 

The crowd roared in approval. Out came Bruce. He glowered at Dan in the ring. “If that’s what you want, Stone, it’s yours. Just don’t come cryin’ to me when your dreams of glory go up in smoke.”

 

RATING: C+

 

2) DAN STONE JR. vs. PETER VALENTINE

 

An okay match. Dan looked terrific, very confident in his own abilities. Peter, on the other hand, started confident but slowly looked more and more worried as the match wore on. Finally, in desperation, Peter pulled something out of his boots, hid it in his hand, and clocked Dan. Dan went down and stayed down, making it easy for Peter to pick up the pin.

 

WINNER: Peter Valentine in 9:57

RATING: C-

 

3) Scapino appeared on screen. “I know I’m not the most familiar of people on the USPW roster. Most of you tuning in are probably looking for James Justice, Bruce the Giant, or even Dan Stone Jr. That’s okay. But I want you to know why you can always root for me: because I used to be one of you. I’m a wrestling fan from–”

 

The screen went black and then a low, sonorous voice announced, “And now for a word from someone who actually matters in this sport.”

 

RATING: D+

 

4) Shane Sneer appeared on screen in a prerecorded statement. “That’s right, I’ve pre-empted that nobody because it really doesn’t matter what he has to say. I’ve been in this business for a long time and I’ve seen those feel-good, underdog stories before. And you know what? They’re a dime a dozen. But the Sneer Corporation, we have a staying power.

 

“And I’m going to prove it. Slappy or Scrappy or whatever your name is, my employee, Eric the Bull, is willing to face you at ‘Declaration of Independence!’ Just say the word, and you two will have a match. And don’t worry, nobody will think you’re too much of a coward if you back out. They’ll just say that you finally grew a brain.”

 

RATING: C-

 

5) Suzanne Brazzle came out to the ring with the air gun tucked under her arm. She spent a few moments shooting t-shirts to the fans before finally hopping out of the ring and presenting one shirt to a boy in the front row, delivering it with a kiss on the cheek. Shane blew it off as shameless pandering. Mitch wondered how he could get into the front row and pretend to be a teenage boy.

 

RATING: D+

 

6) SUZANNE BRAZZLE vs. AMBER ALLEN

 

It wasn’t the best of matches. The crowd seemed somewhat behind Suzanne (at least, all the young boys were) but the rest were mostly silent. Amber seemed to have Suzanne’s number, though, blunting her offense and finally putting her down with a Northern Lights Suplex.

 

WINNER: Amber Allen in 8:39

RATING: E+

 

7) Backstage, Ernest Forthdyke-Hume sat down with Al and Pete. He spread some important looking documents on the table in front of them.

 

“Here is the deal, gentlemen. The reason your cousin Lawrence wanted you to return home is because a most fortuitous turn of events has occurred. I believe you are familiar with the unfortunately named ‘Squatters’ Hill?’”

 

Al nodded. “Why sure. That there’s the land what’s been in our family for generations.”

 

“At any rate, Lawrence recently allowed a team of inspectors onto the property to conduct a mineralogical survey and discovered a large deposit of titanium. Conservative estimates of the lode’s worth place it in the neighborhood of fifty million dollars.”

 

Al and Pete’s eyes bugged out and Al hooted. “That is a pretty chunk o’ change.”

 

Ernest sniffed. “Quite. Lawrence believes it is in your ‘clans’ best interests to take advantage of this development, allow mining to begin, possibly even allow a refining plant to be built on the premises. To do that, though, he needs the agreement of various entities ... including the two of you.”

 

Pete looked angry. “What? Tear up Squatters’ Hill? No sir, no way, no how. That land’s been ours for generations and is the best huntin’ ground in outer Spittle County! They’s no way we’re a-gonna let some city folks come in and tear it all up! C’mon, Al, lesgo.”

 

Pete stormed away from the table. Al looked over the papers, his brow furrowed, but then left as well.

 

RATING: E+

 

8) Des Davids came out to the ring with the TV Title. He said that Commissioner Doom had booked him in a match against Savage Tiger. “Now I don’t want to put down Savage Tiger at all, but I’m pretty sure we all know how this match is going to end. Let’s get it over with.”

 

RATING: C-

 

9) DES DAVIDS © vs. SAVAGE TIGER for the USPW Television Title

 

Unfortunately, Tiger was off his game tonight, which is a shame because these two had great chemistry together. That wasn’t enough to keep the crowd’s attention, though. Des was able to maintain an advantage through most of the match, but as he went for a Quarterback Sack, Tiger dodged it and caught Des with a Savage Suplex.

 

WINNER: Savage Tiger in 10:07

RATING: D-

 

10) Nicky and Sam walked through the backstage, with Sam talking about how he had arranged a match with Tribal Warrior for Nicky tonight. “It’ll be just the thing to keep your confidence going!”

 

But then, out of nowhere, T-Rex and Anger charged in and ran over both of them. They batted Nicky out of the way and focused most of their assault on Sam, dropping him to the cement floor, raining down blows, and kicking him repeatedly. When they were done, they strutted away laughing, leaving Sam in a broken heap on the floor.

 

RATING: D+

 

11) THE CAT MASTER vs. ERIC THE BULL

 

Yeesh. The crowd was not pleased with this one, especially as the middle dragged out and both men looked a little lost. Shane did his best to rescue it, practically shouting instructions to Eric on how to take out the Cat Master. Eric might have heard him. He managed to rally, power past the Master’s offense, and finished him with a Pancake Maker.

 

WINNER: Eric the Bull in 6:33

RATING: F+

 

12) Commissioner Doom appeared on screen, accompanied by a flourish of organ. He smiled at the camera, his face lit from underneath.

 

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure at this time to make a match for ‘Declaration of Independence!’ The tag champions, Prime Patriots, will have to defend their titles against Primal Rage. That is all.”

 

As Doom disappeared from the screen, Mitch Naess bitterly said, “Gee, I wonder why they got their title shot now?”

 

Shane told him to drop it. Mitch did, but not totally. He wondered aloud who would come out and face Tribal warrior now that Nicky Champion had been taken out. Shane confidently predicted that whoever it was would be no problem.

 

We could practically hear his jaw drop as James Justice came out to the ring.

 

RATING: C-

 

13) JAMES JUSTICE © vs. TRIBAL WARRIOR for the USPW World Title

 

James looked great in the match and was able to rally the crowd solidly to his side. Warrior did his best to take him out and, once again Shane kept shouting encouragement and advice. But it didn’t help. James caught Warrior and dropped him with a Liberation Slam.

 

WINNER: James Justice in 14:41

RATING: C

 

14) Much to the announcer’s surprise, Alicia appeared on screen instead of her dad.

 

“I know, you were expecting Dad to do this. But the doctors ... they said ...”

 

She bowed her head and her shoulders shook for a moment or two. When she looked up again, tears streamed down her cheeks.

 

“I know I’m supposed to give you guys some advice. But I’m not sure what to say except ... kids, make sure your parents know you love them.”

 

Then she got up and left, leaving an empty chair on screen for several seconds.

 

RATING: C

 

 

THE AFTERMATH

 

I had to admire his ingenuity. Somehow, Sheik Mustafa had found out what Suzanne was supposed to wear during her match and acquired a similar outfit, only one that was a size too small. If she had worn it out to the ring, there would have been a very good chance that she would have revealed more than she wanted.

 

I read him the riot act and he promised he would tone it down in the future. But as he left, I could hear him muttering something about favoritism. Whatever.

 

FINAL RATING: C-

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This is great man, but here's a little tip. To get better match ratings, tone up the Realism and Modern to Very Low/Low and also kick up the Match Intensity/Match Danger a slight bit. It worked for me, lol.
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USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 3, May 2008

Held at Washington State Gymnasium

1,851 in attendance

 

Mitch Naess and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

 

1) In a video from last week, we saw James Justice getting ready to leave the arena when he was confronted by Bruce the Giant. They stared at each other for a moment or two before Bruce smiled.

 

“Very nice, Jim. Very nice. You’ve put me off yet again, haven’t you? But if you think that I’m just going to sit around and cool my heels forever, you can forget it. Enjoy your match at ‘Declaration of Independence!’ Because once I’m done with Dan Stone Jr., I’m coming after what’s rightfully mine.”

 

With that, Bruce pushed open the door and waited for James to step through.

 

RATING: B-

 

2) ALICIA STRONG © vs. JAIME QUINE for the USPW Women’s Title

 

Alicia and Jaime shook hands before the match started. But all best were off once the match got started. Unfortunately, the crowd just didn’t get into it in spite of how well Alicia sold for Jaime. Jaime almost got a pin on Alicia, but Alicia rolled through and got the win instead.

 

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 9:32

RATING: D-

 

3) Amber Allen came out to the ring entrance with a mic. “You know, I can hardly believe it. Tamara McFly loses to Suzanne Brazzle and hasn’t been seen since. Suzanne Brazzle seems content to just shoot shirts and kiss little boys. Cherry Bomb is off her rocker and well ... I guess that’s about it. Nobody seems to be willing to step up and do what’s right: take that title away from you. So how about it, Alicia? You and me at ‘Declaration of Independence!’”

 

Alicia shrugged and nodded.

 

RATING: D+

 

4) Scapino came out to the ring and accepted the challenge from Shane Sneer, saying that he’s looking forward to putting the Sneer Corporation in its place. He then turned to Shane and told him to pay attention to what was coming next.

 

RATING: D+

 

5) SCAPINO vs. LEX APPEAL

 

It wasn’t that great of a match. Shane did his best to downplay Scapino as a wannabe and a joke. Lex did his lackluster best until he finallgot pinned.

 

WINNER: Scapino in 7:44

RATING: E+

 

6) Nicky walked into Commissioner Doom’s office and paused. Doom had a chemistry set out in front of him, carefully mixing a number of chemicals together. The liquids changed different colors as he worked, belching steam and vapor.

 

“You wish something, Mr. Champion?” Doom asked.

 

“Yes sir. I want T-Rex in a match. Tonight.”

 

Doom paused for a moment, raising a beaker and peering through it at Nicky. “Indeed? That is unfortunate, for he and Mr. Anger are schedule to face the Hillbillys shortly. So I’m afraid that is out. And Mr. T-Rex will also be unavailable next week. So perhaps you could face Mr. Anger in his stead?”

 

Nicky seemed pretty upset at the idea but finally nodded. Doom nodded as well, setting down the beaker to add some more chemicals. “Good day, Mr. Champion.”

 

Nicky left. Doom waited until he left, then pulled out a coffee mug and dumped the concoction in the beaker into his coffee, drinking it with a hearty sigh.

 

RATING: D+

 

7) Speak of the devils, they came out to the ring. First they mocked Sam Strong and Nicky for what happened last week. Then they suggested that Roderick and the Masked Patriot pay attention to this match. “Because this will give you a sneak preview of what’s coming for you!”

 

RATING: D-

 

8) THE HILLBILLYS vs. PRIMAL RAGE

 

Both Al and T-Rex were seemingly lost in the ring. Worse, I just noticed now that T-Rex and Anger don’t exactly work well together in the ring (something I think Micky or Sam should have pointed out to me earlier than now!). As a result, the match was something of a mess, one that sent the crowds out to the snack bars and bathrooms. In the end, T-Rex was systematically destroying Pete. Pete lunged for his corner, trying to get a tag, but Al simply hopped off his corner and walked away. Pete seemed stunned, but he didn’t have long to express his surprise, for T-Rex caught him and put him in the Jurassic Crush.

 

WINNERS: Primal Rage in 9:45

RATING: E+

 

9) Sure enough, Roderick and the Masked Patriot were watching backstage. Roderick looked grim. The Masked Patriot probably was too, but you couldn’t tell.

 

RATING: D-

 

10) Scapino ran into Eric the Bull backstage. Eric leaned up against a wall, chewing on a toothpick lazily. He asked Scapino if he had gotten his affairs in order. Scapino smiled and said he wasn’t too worried. Eric leaned forward and glowered at him. “You should be.”

 

RATING: D-

 

11) VELOCIDAD vs. PETER VALENTINE

 

The crowd practically rioted over this one. They definitely were not happy seeing Velocidad in a match this long, especially as the middle sagged and wore on. What few people came back after the last match went out again to get more snacks. In the end, Peter put everyone out of their misery with a Heart Breaker.

 

WINNER: Peter Valentine in 8:40

RATING: E

 

12) Doom appeared on the screen and the crowd chuckled a little. His skin had taken on a faintly orange sheen.

 

“In preparation for ‘Declaration of Independence!’, I hereby make the following match. Dan Stone Jr. and James Justice will face their opponents, Peter Valentine and Bruce the Giant, in a tag team match. That is all.”

 

As the video feed cut out, his skin suddenly changed color to purple. He didn’t seem to notice.

 

RATING: C-

 

13) Dan Stone Junior came out and waved to the crowd. He then go the mic.

 

“So there you go. Next week, you’ll see James Justice and me in action together. That’s great. But what’s even greater is the fact that tonight, I take on Savage Tiger for his Television Title. Let’s see what happens, shall we?”

 

RATING: C+

 

14) DAN STONE JR. vs. SAVAGE TIGER © for the USPW Television Title

 

Best match of the night, but that’s not saying much. Dan was the definite star, knocking Savage Tiger around the ring while selling some of his flashier moves. He finally caught him out of the air, slammed him to the mat, and got him tapping with a Stone Ankle Stretch.

 

WINNER: Dan Stone Jr. in 14:53

RATING: D+

 

15) The camera cut to the set where Sam Strong normally did his final thoughts. Only rather than be the usual comfortable living room, it had been redecorated. Various pictures of Alicia were taped up all over with sloppy red Xs plastered all over them. A high-pitched giggling sounded, growing louder as the camera panned over the myriad photos. Cherry Bomb was crouched in one corner, gleefully smearing red paint over another picture.

 

She paused and looked up at the camera. She grinned, a bit too toothy to be pleasant, and then shrugged. “Everyone needs a hobby.”

 

RATING: C-

 

 

THE AFTERMATH

 

Not awful, but could have been a lot better.

 

FINAL RATING: D

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USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 4, May 2008

(The Go-Home Show for “Declaration of Independence”)

Held at the West Texas Coliseum in the Mid South Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!

 

Mitch Naess and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

 

1) Backstage, James Justice and Dan Stone Jr. shook hands. For a moment, they paused to admire each other’s title belts. Finally, James smiled.

 

“Mine’s bigger.”

 

RATING: B

 

2) ALICIA STRONG © vs. NADIA SNOW for the USPW Women’s Title

 

While Alicia looked great, as usual, while Nadia didn’t look nearly as good. They went through a pretty standard match until Alicia ended things with an Angel Driver.

 

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 9:38

RATING: D

 

3) Scapino walked through the parking lot, hitting a button on a keychain that resulted in a beep from one of the cars. He glanced back over his shoulder. When he turned toward the door, Eric the Bull stood in front of him.

 

“Good to see you, Scapino. Have a pleasant drive over?”

 

“Sure,” Scapino answered, taking a step back.

 

Eric laughed, not a reassuring sound. “Relax, friend. No problems here.” He walked a slow circle around Scapino. “The boys are saying you bought yourself a pretty sweet ride the other day. Living it up?”

 

“Seemed like the right thing to do.” Scapino turned, making sure that Eric never got the chance to get behind him.

 

“I’m sure,” Eric said, stroking his chin for a moment. “Well, I won’t keep you any longer. You better get in there, take care of whatever business you have.”

 

Scapino gave Eric one last puzzled look, then went into the building. Eric watched him go, then stepped over and fished a tire iron out of a dumpster. He turned back to the cars and patted the iron affectionately.

 

RATING: D-

 

4) Captain USA was talking up the big match Friday with the Prime Patriots. “Don’t worry, boys. You’re facing two big guys but that doesn’t matter. The beating heart of America is in you both. And nothing can defeat that–”

 

A backstage worker handed Cap a note. Cap unfolded it and looked it over. What little we could see of his face blanched.

 

“What is it, Cap?” Roderick asked.

 

“According to this, Commissioner Doom has banned me from ringside for your match.”

 

RATING: D-

 

5) JIM FORCE vs. T-REX

 

The crowd didn’t really get into this all that much. Jim did his best to pump them up but when it became clear that T-Rex was rapidly tiring. But T-Rex finally managed to catch Jim and put him in the Jurassic Crush.

 

WINNER: T-Rex in 7:51

RATING: D-

 

6) Nicky Champion stood in front of his locker, his arms propping him up while he stared in the mirror. His expression was unreadable but wavering on a bit of despair.

 

“Nicky.”

 

Nicky glanced over his shoulder at Alicia Strong. She stood in the doorway to the lockerroom, her expression hesitant. Nicky, however, looked away immediately, his lower lip twitching.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s my fault. I should have been able to stop them.”

 

She touched his shoulder and he tensed up. “Nicky, that’s not your fault. They took you by surprise. Dad doesn’t blame you and neither do I. Now I know that my dad would normally be here to give you a pep talk before your big match. I know he’d tell you you’ll do great. And I know you will too. Now go out there and win it for him.”

 

RATING: D+

 

7) We jumped back to the parking lot, where Eric the Bull wandered up and down the aisles with his tire iron. He found a sweet new sports car. After looking around, he leapt forward and with a savage cry, smashed in the windshield. Then he started wailing on the other windows as well, breaking them in.

 

RATING: E+

 

8) NICKY CHAMPION vs. ANGER

 

Turns out that Nicky and Anger work pretty well in the ring together. They held the crowd’s interest as Anger taunted Nicky, reminding him of how Sam wound up injured after the attack. Nicky tried to keep it under control but it was pretty clear that he was slowly losing his cool. Finally, he snapped and lit into Anger, finally dropping him with a Hawkeye Hammer.

 

WINNER: Nicky Champion in 9:41

RATING: D

 

9) Nicky seemed pretty pleased with himself as he looked down on Anger’s fallen form. But then, a strange expression passed over his face. And then it was gone, along with any other expression. He turned and slowly walked from the ring.

 

RATING: D

 

10) PRIME PATRIOTS © vs. THE HILLBILLYS for the USPW Tag Titles

 

Peter seemed kind of worked up during the match, yelling at Al to keep fighting, to go after the gold, that sort of thing. But both Al (and the audience) couldn’t seem to keep focused on the in-ring action. Eventually the Masked Patriot put Pete down with a Backdrop Driver.

 

WINNERS: Prime Patriots in 7:42

RATING: D-

 

11) Peter Valentine was backstage and looked pretty nervous. When Bruce the Giant came around the corner, he flinched away. Bruce glared at him. Peter peeked through his arms at Bruce, then carefully emerged.

 

“Look, Bruce, you know I have nothing but respect for you, right? And I mean, I know this isn’t exactly what you wanted: you facing Dan Stone Jr., me fighting James Justice for the title. But tonight, we both have a chance to soften up our opponents for ‘Declaration of Independence!’ Let’s not blow that, okay?”

 

Bruce continued to glare at Peter for a moment, then suddenly broke into a big smile. “Absolutely, mate. As a matter of fact, I wanted to compliment you on the way you laid out Dan a few weeks ago. Great job. I was hoping we could do something similar tonight, yeah? So I got you something to use.” He dug through a bag for a moment. He then looked up at Peter. “Huh. Don’t seem to have it here. Let me go get it.”

 

He walked away and Peter let out a great sigh of relief. Then Bruce reappeared and poked him in the chest. “Don’t go anywhere, you understand?”

 

RATING: C+

 

12) Al the Hillbilly stormed through the halls, Pete hot on his trail.

 

“Cuz, what’s goin’ on? Why’s you actin’ so weird now?” Pete demanded.

 

Al sighed and turned to face Pete. “It’s the money that fancy lawyer’s talkin’ ‘bout. I think I want it.”

 

“You what?”

 

Al nodded. “That’s why I ain’t been into them matches. And that’s why I’s leavin’ to head home. So long, ‘cuz, I’ll see you later.”

 

With that, Al left.

 

RATING: E

 

13) Scapino left the arena and came face to face with Eric the Bull, who was still armed with his tire iron. Scapino dropped into a defensive stance, but Eric held up his hands.

 

“Relax, Scap, relax. I’m not here to hurt you. But I wanted you to see what I did to your car. Let it be a little preview of what I’ll do to you this Friday.”

 

Scapino walked around Eric and looked at the ruined car. He frowned. “That’s not mine.”

 

Eric gaped at Scapino. “Whaddya mean, it’s not yours?”

 

Scapino waved at it. “You really think I could afford this nice of a car? It’s not mine.”

 

“Then whose is it?”

 

“What did you do to my car?”

 

Eric and Scapino spun to see Bruce the Giant towering over them. He took several ragged breaths before looking down at the two wrestlers. In that time, Eric managed to toss the tire iron to Scapino, who caught it without thinking. Bruce’s gaze landed on him and, with a roar, he caught Scapino by the throat and then slammed him onto the hood of the ruined car. Scapino slid off with a groan. Bruce went to the door, ripped it open, and retrieved whatever it is he needed.

 

Eric quickly got out of Bruce’s way as he stomped back into the building. Then Eric leaned over and smirked at Scapino. “See you on Friday.”

 

RATING: C+

 

14) JAMES JUSTICE & DAN STONE JR. vs. BRUCE THE GIANT & PETER VALENTINE

 

A pretty good match, all things considered. Peter wound up pretty tired by the end and James looked every inch a champion.

 

There was some obvious tension between Bruce and Peter. At one point, the two of them even wound up shoving each other over the corner. That fight ended when Bruce pulled Peter into the ring after “tagging” him by smacking him in the chest. James and Dan seemed almost amused by the strife.

 

But then Bruce and Peter seemed to forget their differences, especially as Dan tried to put Bruce down. Bruce wound up tossing something to Peter, who caught it. James tried to get in there to stop them, but the ref wouldn’t allow it. Before Dan knew what was happening, Peter wrapped the object with his fingers and then clocked Dan with it. Bruce caught Dan as he staggered over and finished him off with a Giant Choke Slam.

 

WINNERS: Bruce the Giant & Peter Valentine in 13:50

RATING: C-

 

15) As Peter and Bruce retreated up the ramp, we cut to the announce table, where Mitch and Shane revealed that Sam Strong was calling in from home. The camera jumped again to the living room set, where a speaker phone was sitting. Sure enough, Sam’s voice came over the line and he ran down the card:

 

ALICIA STRONG © vs. AMBER ALLEN for the USPW Women’s Championship

SCAPINO vs. ERIC THE BULL

PRIME PATRIOTS © vs. PRIMAL RAGE for the USPW Tag Team Title

DAN STONE JR. vs. BRUCE THE GIANT

JAMES JUSTICE © vs. PETER VALENTINE for the USPW World Title

 

“I’ve appreciated how so many of you have e-mailed me after my recent ‘health troubles.’ The docs, they say I should stay away this Friday, let my employees handle things. But here’s a valuable life lesson, kiddies. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and do the right thing. In this case, it means that I need to be there at ‘Declaration of Independence!’

 

“Now I know, Anger and T-Rex will be there and so will Doom. And I figure Doom might have something up his sleeve for me. Maybe not. But that’s a chance I just gotta take. So see you all soon!”

 

RATING: B+

 

 

THE AFTERMATH

 

Sheik Mustafa was furious with me because, like Anger before him, he discovered that I had donated a portion of his salary to the Grant a Dream Foundation. What else was I supposed to do since he repeated his prank, this time with Alicia? Sure, he promised to tone it down, but we’ll just have to see.

 

FINAL RATING: D+

 

As always ... well, you know the drill.

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USPW American Wrestling

 

But then Bruce and Peter seemed to forget their differences, especially as Dan tried to put Bruce down. Bruce wound up tossing something to Peter, who caught it. James tried to get in there to stop them, but the ref wouldn’t allow it. Before Dan knew what was happening, Peter wrapped the object with his fingers and then clocked Peter with it. Bruce caught Dan as he staggered over and finished him off with a Giant Choke Slam.

 

 

Peter clocked Peter?

 

Alicia over Amber

Scap over the Bull

Prime Patriots over Primal Rage (bad chemistry)

Dan Stone Jr. over Bruce (getting old)

James over Peter (getting really old)

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ALICIA STRONG © vs. AMBER ALLEN for the USPW Women’s Championship

Alicia needs a good long run, to get some prestige for the title, and the division.

 

SCAPINO vs. ERIC THE BULL

You're building a feud with the Sneer Corporation. That's over pretty quickly, if you lose to Eric the Bull. You'll have bigger fish to fry.

 

PRIME PATRIOTS © vs. PRIMAL RAGE for the USPW Tag Team Title

You're not likely to put the straps on a team that you've discovered has bad chemistry together. Besides, that masked fellow seems like a really nice guy. He deserves a good run, wouldn't you agree?

 

DAN STONE JR. vs. BRUCE THE GIANT

Bruce was on the losing end last month, and he can't take too many of those, if he's going to stay hot for Double J. Stone will keep the belt, though.

 

JAMES JUSTICE © vs. PETER VALENTINE for the USPW World Title

Easiest match to call, by far.

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ALICIA STRONG © vs. AMBER ALLEN for the USPW Women’s Championship - She's rough, she's tough...

SCAPINO vs. ERIC THE BULL - I'm curious as to what stats Scapino has, but regardless, I think Eric's more the USPW type.

PRIME PATRIOTS © vs. PRIMAL RAGE for the USPW Tag Team Title - And is it just me, or has Brandon been behaving himself of late?

DAN STONE JR. vs. BRUCE THE GIANT - Draw, as adding a Stone to the mix could help delay the singles match that bit longer :p

JAMES JUSTICE © vs. PETER VALENTINE for the USPW World Title - Valentine's a test, but one Justice should pass

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USPW presents...

“Declaration of Independence!”

Friday of Week 4, May 2008

Held at the Huntsville Fairgrounds in the South East Territory

5,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT; Buy-rate of 0.31

 

Mitch Naess and Shane Sneer welcome the audience to the show.

 

1) James Justice came out to the ring to a decent pop from the crowd.

 

“It’s great to be back in Huntsville!” He waited for the pop to die down again. “Now I know what you’re all worried about. Peter Valentine, he seems to be the man with iron fists, knocking out Dan Stone Jr. so often. The way I figure it, either Dan has a glass jaw ... which I don’t believe for a second ... or Peter’s suddenly throwing stronger punches. And I don’t think it’s that either.

 

“So we’ll just have to wait and see what happens tonight, won’t we? But I promise you this: even if I do wind up getting knocked out, you can rest assured that I won’t go down without a fight first!”

 

RATING: C+

 

2) ALICIA STRONG © vs. AMBER ALLEN for the USPW Women’s Title

 

A pretty decent opening bout. Amber focused on a more technical game, trying to keep Alicia down and grounded. But Alicia was able to power through most of what Amber threw her way, finally finishing her off with her trademarked Angel Driver.

 

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 9:51

RATING: C-

 

3) In a video shot earlier in the day, Eric the Bull taped up his fists and took a few moments to box the air. Shane Sneer watched him prepare, then got in his face.

 

“Don’t let me down, Eric. The whole corporation is depending on you.”

 

RATING: D-

 

4) As he promised, Sam Strong arrived at the arena. He greeted several members of the backstage crew, then headed down a hallway.

 

RATING: B+

 

5) Primal Rage appeared on screen and spoke of how they looked forward to absolutely crushing the Prime Patriots.

 

RATING: D-

 

6) Remmington Remus appeared on screen with Scapino. “So, Scapino, you have a tall order on your hands in taking on Eric the Bull later tonight. Your thoughts?”

 

Scapino glanced at Remmington for a moment, then took the mic from him. “Well, here’s how I see it. I could win. I could lose. Either way, I have to go out there and give it my all. Because if I don’t, I don’t deserve to be in that ring.”

 

RATING: D

 

7) SCAPINO vs. ERIC THE BULL

 

The crowd didn’t get into this all that much. Once again Shane tried to shout instructions from the announce table, leading to a heated disagreement between him and Mitch about what his role in USPW should actually be. The argument actually distracted Shane for a moment, which made his shock at Eric losing all the more enjoyable.

 

WINNER: Scapino in 8:46

RATING: D-

 

8) Remmington now appeared with the Prime Patriots. Even though they were without Captain USA, the did a halfway decent job of hyping themselves, saying that they were going to show everyone why they deserved to hold the tag team titles. The Masked Patriot ended the promo by clapping Roderick on the shoulder and saying, “Let’s go do this for America!”

 

RATING: D-

 

9) Peter Valentine appeared next. “You know, I bet James Justice was so proud when he won the USPW World Title. I’m sure his heart just swelled with pride when they handed him the gold. But tonight, that same heart will break as I not only take your title, but I knock your teeth down your throat!”

 

RATING: C+

 

10) PRIME PATRIOTS © vs. PRIMAL RAGE for the USPW Tag Team Titles

 

I actually expected a little better than this, but I suspect Primal Rage’s continuing chemistry problems as a tag team contributed to this. It didn’t help either that T-Rex looked winded just from his entrance. The crowd sat on their hands mostly as the champs weathered the storm, taking some pretty impressive hits before the Masked Patriot hit the Backdrop Driver on Anger for the win.

 

WINNERS: Prime Patriots in 9:55

RATING: E+

 

11) Dan Stone Jr. appeared on the big screen to a decent pop. He had his Television Title draped over one shoulder and he smiled to the crowd.

 

“You know, I wish I could defend this title belt tonight against Bruce. But I can’t. The rules won’t allow it. So I’ll just have to settle for getting him to tap. Bruce, you know the old saying, ‘The bigger they are?’ Well, as near as I can tell, you’re the biggest man here. So prepare for a very hard fall.”

 

RATING: C+

 

12) Sam continued to greet the backstage workers. He commented to one that he thought for sure that Doom would have some sort of surprise for him, but so far, so good.

 

And then he ran into Nicky.

 

Nicky didn’t look himself. Instead, he was wearing black eyeliner and his hair practically covered his face. He sulked along the corridor and barely acknowledged Sam’s greeting. Sam finally stepped in his path.

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

 

Nicky tipped his head back and glanced at Sam before his eyes rolled back a little. “I have finally come to grips with the transmundane. I have seen the empty hollowness inside me and I understand it now. There can be no joy while the void still stirs within.”

 

And with that, he was gone. Sam watched him go.

 

RATING: C+

 

13) The cheesy romantic music hit and out came Champagne Lover. He strode around the ring, his arms wide, but then he pouted at the crowd.

 

“Here I am, your Champagne Lover, gone these many weeks. I would have thought, my darlings, that you would weep and lament at the emptiness of your lives. Instead, I hear that you are all going ga-ga over this Dan Rock fellow. Ha! He may have my Television Title now, but that is only because the Champagne Lover was gone making so much party party. But I am back now, so all of you had best beware!”

 

RATING: C-

 

14) HAPPY ELWOOD vs. CHAMPAGNE LOVER

 

The crowd sadly did not seem all that enthused at Lover’s return. But he and Happy put on a decent match, one that ended with Happy taking a Champagne Sunrise.

 

WINNER: Champagne Lover in 8:39

RATING: D-

 

15) Bruce the Giant glowered down at the camera for a moment or two. “Dan, when I get done with you, you’re going to wish you stayed up north in Canada.”

 

RATING: C

 

16) DAN STONE JR. vs. BRUCE THE GIANT

 

Great match. Even though Bruce clearly felt the strain from the match, Dan really sold his offense. Bruce did the same for Dan. They both came out of this looking really great. Dan tried several times to get Bruce into the Stone Ankle Stretch, but Bruce remarkably kept powering out of it. Finally, Bruce caught Dan’s throat and practically drove him through the mat with a Giant Choke Slam.

 

WINNER: Bruce the Giant in 9:53

RATING: C+

 

17) Out came a chipper Suzanne Brazzle with her air gun. She fired a few t-shirts into the crowd before someone charged out and attacked her.

 

“So wait, why is Cherry Bomb attacking Suzanne? She’s not the Women’s Title holder!” Mitch said.

 

“You know, I don’t think she really cares right now,” Shane observed.

 

RATING: D; E+

 

18) A video played, hyping both James Justice and Peter Valentine as tough competitors who would face off for the first time for the World Title.

 

RATING: C+

 

19) JAMES JUSTICE © vs. PETER VALENTINE for the USPW World Title

 

The pressure of being in the main event must have been too much for Peter. He missed a lot of spots and by the end of the match was dragging pretty badly. But James managed to keep the crowd’s attention and their enthusiasm up. They cheered pretty loudly as James kicked out after a Heart Breaker, then turned the tables on Peter. Peter, in desperation, tried to go for a set of brass knuckles in his boot, but the ref caught him and almost threw him out of the match. But before he could, James caught Peter with a Liberation Slam for the pin and the win.

 

WINNER: James Justice in 14:33

RATING: C+

 

20) James celebrated with his belt, going from post to post. And then things came to a crashing halt as Bruce stepped out from the ring entrance.

 

James tensed, obviously expecting Bruce to attack him. But instead, Bruce just stood there, his face calm, staring at the ring.

 

RATING: B

 

21) Sam Strong appeared in the living room set and smiled at the cameras.

“You know, I came here tonight expecting Doom to try to get me again. I don’t know why he didn’t. Maybe he’s realized he can’t get me. Maybe he’s got something big in the works. But that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t surprised by what I found.

 

“I don’t really know what’s going on through Nicky’s mind right now. But it just goes to show you, kiddies, that you can never be too sure of anything. There are always surprises around every corner. You just gotta roll with the punches as they come.”

 

RATING: B+

 

 

THE AFTERMATH

 

I was pretty ecstatic after the show. I couldn’t be sure, but I was willing to bet that we maybe increased in popularity across the board.

 

Suzanne Brazzle approached me after the show. “You know, boss, I always appreciate a paycheck. So how about I take you out for a drink now?”

 

I winced. “I can’t. Staff meeting on Monday, remember? I need to go through the books.”

 

She seemed really disappointed but left me to my work.

 

FINAL RATING: C+

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Month’s End:

 

In spite of our strong show, May still turned out to be a kick in the teeth. With the network now gobbling up all of our ad money, we lost half of our sponsor revenue. The only bright spot was that we didn’t slide back financially quite as far. We only lost $48,715, most likely because we didn’t bring in any big guest names.

 

In terms of our ranking, we remained entrenched at #9. That seemed to rankle Sam a bit. 5SSW was considered a better and bigger promotion than us. And in spite of Alicia’s ties to the organization, Sam still seemed pretty upset.

 

Once again, he had me stay behind after the staff meeting let out. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He then met my gaze and smiled wearily.

 

“Not exactly what you expected when you signed up for this, huh, kid?”

 

I looked over at the seat where Brandon had been sitting. He had spent the entire meeting mooning after Alicia, who had pretended to ignore his attention. But I noticed they had left together. “Not really, no.”

 

He nodded. “Same here.” He slapped the table, the resulting crack causing me to jump. “When Jillefski offered me USPW, I thought, hey, what do you know. Now I’ll be the one in the fancy Caddie calling the shots. And yeah, I am, but it wears on you.” He rubbed at a spot on the table. “You wanna know why I really took this promotion over?”

 

I nodded, unsure of what I could say.

 

He didn’t look up. “Because I was scared.” He glanced at me and laughed at my expression. “Oh, it’s true. Sam Strong, quakin’ in his boots. You know why? Because I’ve seen what this business can do to guys like me.

 

“I remember what it was like when I was your age. So young and full of piss ‘n vinegar, sure I was going to not only make a mint but hold on to it. What they don’t tell you is that you can burn out so fast. Me, I got lucky. Me ‘n Rip, we had something good and it saved us both from a lot of heartache. Hell, look at what happened to Todd Cusson. Loaded with potential, so sure he’d make a splash and look how fast he burned out. Damn shame too.

 

“Other guys, they don’t burn out as fast, but they still do. Where do you suppose Bruce would be right now? Back over in Japan? Maybe he’d be able to make a buck or two off of nostalgia. But eventually, it’d all catch up to him. Same with Anger. Same with Jim Force. Same with so many of the guys here.

 

“That’s the thing, Scap. That’s the one thing I’ve learned. We all fall eventually. I just want to cushion the landing for as many of my boys as I can. Y’know?”

 

I stared at him, unsure of what to say. He finally laughed, running another hand through his hair. “Listen to me. You got better things to do, I’m sure. Get on outta here. I’ll be ... I’ll be along in a second.”

 

I did as I was told, leaving Sam to stare out the window into the deepening dusk.

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“I remember what it was like when I was your age. So young and full of piss ‘n vinegar, sure I was going to not only make a mint but hold on to it. What they don’t tell you is that you can burn out so fast. Me, I got lucky. Me ‘n Rip, we had something good and it saved us both from a lot of heartache. Hell, look at what happened to Todd Cusson. Loaded with potential, so sure he’d make a splash and look how fast he burned out. Damn shame too.

 

You best believe the Hype!

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USPW American Wrestling

Live on Sports America

Wednesday of Week 1, June 2008

Held at Perry Hall in the Great Lakes Territory

2,000 in attendance - SOLD OUT!

 

Mitch Naess and Shane Sneer welcomed the audience to the show.

 

1) James Justice came out to the ring and waved to the crowd. He then laughed for a moment before saying, “You know, this is kind of becoming a habit. I keep defending this title, and every month, first show, I come out to show all of you that I still have the belt.

 

“Not that I’m complaining. I know what an honor it is to hold this title and you’d better believe I’m going to keep on defending it for as long as I can. It doesn’t matter what kind of obstacles I face, I’m not going to duck them. I’m not going to back down. I’m James Justice, and I am your champion!”

 

RATING: B-

 

2) Alicia Strong came out to the ring and waited for a moment for the pop to die down. She then got on the mic as well.

 

“You know, it’s my honor to be the Women’s Champion in USPW as well. I’ve had to face a lot of hard competition here to get this title strap, but I also know that there are plenty of ladies in the back who deserve a shot at this title.

 

“Like Suzanne Brazzle. I’ve kept my eye on her and I’ve seen how she can get a crowd excited to see her. And so tonight, Suzanne, it’s your lucky night. If you want a shot at the belt, come and get it.”

 

RATING: C

 

3) ALICIA STRONG © vs. SUZANNE BRAZZLE for the USPW Women’s Title

 

Not too bad of a match. Alicia looked like a great champ as she welcomed Suzanne into the ring. The two of them shook hands before the bell rang and then off they went. There were a few times when they paused to measure each other, respect apparent in their expression. But in the end, Alicia got the better of Suzanne and put her down with an Angel Driver.

 

WINNER: Alicia Strong in 11:43

RATING: D

 

4) Alicia helped Suzanne up from the mat and then shook her hand. Suzanne seemed a bit upset that she lost, but then she smiled and hugged Alicia, then raised the champ’s hand in victory.

 

Then Cherry Bomb vaulted the security rail and rolled into the ring. Suzanne and Alicia turned around just in time to take a vicious double clothesline. Cherry Bomb looked down on Alicia and Suzanne, an insane light shining in her eyes. She then picked up the women’s title and caressed it for a moment, holding it up to her cheek and closing her eyes.

 

Then her eyes snapped open and she dropped the belt. She looked back and forth between Alicia and Suzanne. Then, much to Mitch and Shane’s surprise, she hauled Suzanne up by her hair and hit the Cherry Bomb before spending a few moments kicking her while she was down. Several refs quickly came out and rescued Suzanne, pulling a kicking and screaming Cherry Bomb off of her.

 

RATING: D-

 

5) In a video taken earlier today, Shane Sneer paced before the members of the Sneer Corporation. He welcomed Java back from his business back home but then he focused on Eric the Bull.

 

“Here’s the thing, gentlemen. I have always taken pride in the fact that the members of my corporation can get the job done. Eric here did not. He had a simple task: to put that punk Scapino in his place. And he failed. That is unacceptable. So I leave it up to you to show him the error of his ways.”

 

The members of the corporation exchanged an uncertain glance, but then Jumbo Jackson led the way, punching Eric and knocking him to the ground. Java and Tribal Warrior joined in the assault, the three of them stomping on Eric for a few moments before Shane called them off. He knelt down and picked up Eric by his hair.

 

“Maybe next time, you’ll do better.”

 

He let Eric drop, then turned to Tribal Warrior. “It’s now up to you. You take out Scapino, got it?” Then he turned to Java. “As for you, I’ve arranged for a welcome home present. Tonight, you’ll be facing Dan Stone Jr. for his Television Title. Enjoy.”

 

RATING: C-

 

6) Nicky Champion appeared on screen, slumped down in a corner. His hair was a mess, partially covering his face. He had apparently taken some black makeup and drawn a line from his lips down his chin. He didn’t look up at the camera, instead mumbling something about failure and death.

 

RATING: D

 

7) SCAPINO vs. SAVAGE TIGER

 

The crowd really didn’t get into this one, partially because Savage Tiger was clearly a bit lost in the ring. Scapino had his hands full dealing with a flying offense, but he finally managed to drop Savage Tiger with a DDT and got the pin.

 

WINNER: Scapino in 5:47

RATING: D-

 

8) Scapino got the mic and went over to the side of the ring near the announce table. He smiled at Shane.

 

“You know, I get it. You want to hold on to your power. But why not quit while you’re behind, Shane?”

 

RATING: D+

 

9) Organ music swelled as Bruce the Giant entered Commissioner Doom’s office. Bruce stopped short when he realized that Doom had five chess boards set up in his office with five different opponents playing against him. Doom wandered up and down the line, making quick, decisive moves that left his opponents groaning. Doom glanced up at Bruce.

 

“Yes, Mr. Giant? What can I do for you?”

 

“Did you hear that rot that Jim was spewin’? He’ll take on all comers? Then why is it, whenever I’m the one headin’ to the ring, he ducks out and dodges? It isn’t right. And I want him. At ‘Americana!’”

 

Doom hesitated for a moment before capturing his opponent’s queen. “Be that is it may, Mr. Giant, I’m afraid I can’t comply with your request. Mr. Valentine still has the option of a rematch and has not informed me of his intent. But I highly doubt that he would pass on another chance to capture the title himself.”

 

Bruce slammed a fist on the table, causing the pieces for all five games to jump and scatter. Doom looked up at Bruce, his eyebrow quirked.

 

“I see. Then this is what I can do. Tonight, you may face Mr. Valentine. Perhaps with your unique form of ... persuasion, you can convince him not to exercise his rematch clause.”

 

Bruce snarled at him and then stormed out of the office.

 

RATING: C+

 

10) Des Davids was taping up his wrists and hands when he turned and found himself face to face with Jim Force.

 

“Well here we are, Desert Man! You’re playing with the Force now and you know it’s completely on your side. So tonight, as we go out there and face those huge skyscrapers, those energized monoliths known as the Towers of Power, we gotta be in sync. We gotta stay in the same boat. We gotta paddle this book upstream, because once we do, we got nothin’ but glory on beyond us. We got nothin’ but old regrets behind us. And the final finish line is paved with gold. Now c’mon!”

 

Jim let loose a roar and stomped out of the locker room. Des watched him go and then, with a shrug, followed.

 

RATING: D

 

11) PETER VALENTINE vs. BRUCE THE GIANT

 

Not the greatest match. Peter seemed a bit lost in the ring and Bruce was clearly tiring as it wore on. Worse, they didn’t sell for each other as best as they could. But they still managed to tell a halfway decent story. Peter apparently had heard about Bruce’s request and didn’t take kindly to it. He go tin Bruce’s face from the beginning and the two of them exchanged some heavy blows. Mitch and Shane tried to cover for some of the missed spots on Peter’s side, and then finally, Bruce caught Peter by the throat and ended things with a Giant Choke Slam.

 

WINNER: Bruce the Giant in 9:54

RATING: D+

 

12) Bruce got the mic. “No more games, Justice. No more hiding. You’ve put me off long enough. When the time comes, you and me are going to finally have it out and then I will finally get the USPW World Title!”

 

RATING: C

 

13) DES DAVIDS & JIM FORCE vs. THE TOWERS OF POWER

 

In spite of Jim’s manic attempts to whip up the crowd, they mostly sat quiet through this match. Danny and Mick clearly didn’t take Jim seriously, often mocking his posing and stomping. They paid for that as Jim lit into them, knocking them both silly before the ref got things under control again.

 

The match see-sawed back and forth before Danny Rushmore finally managed to take Jim Force down and pin him.

 

WINNERS: The Towers of Power in 8:47

RATING: E+

 

14) The smarmy romantic music swelled and out came Champagne Lover, blowing kisses to the crowd as he walked. He then got into the ring.

 

“Hello, all you lovely people out there! I know that you missed me, your Champagne Lover. But never fear, I am back to delight all of you pathetic wish-you-were-mes. Be ready, my darlings. For we shall all celebrate our champagne dreams soon!”

 

RATING: C-

 

15) DAN STONE JR. © vs. JAVA for the USPW Television Title

 

Java obviously had some trouble adjusting back to the pace in USPW whereas Dan looked great. The two of them traded blows before they set off through a pretty stiff match. In the end, Dan managed to drop Java to the mat and got him tapping with the Stone Ankle Stretch.

 

WINNER: Dan Stone Jr. in 9:59

RATING: C-

 

16) Sam Strong appeared in the living room set, settled in a cushy chair.

 

“You know, in some ways, you gotta feel for Bruce. I know, I know, he ain’t the nicest guy, but you can understand why he’d be so frustrated with James Justice. It may seem like James is ducking him, which may seem odd since he said he’d face anyone tonight.

 

“But you know, I understand why James is doing what he’s doing. He’s not being a coward. Instead, he’s being a smart champ. When you’re a champ, you don’t just wade into any fight without thinking it over first. Sure, you can do that for a while, but eventually, that kind of stupidity will get you to lose. You gotta pick your battles when you hold a title, make sure that the battlefield you go into is the one of your choosing, not your enemy’s.

 

“What James is doing with his title is something that we should all remember to do in real life. Not every fight is worth fighting. Pick your battles wisely, kiddies.”

 

RATING: A

 

 

THE AFTERMATH

 

I had to be crazy. Peter Valentine on one side, Bruce the Giant on the other, both wanting to kill the other and I had thrown myself in between them to keep them apart. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone for long. Soon others had jumped in. Roderick Remus pushed in next to me. Jim Force and Des grabbed Peter’s arms, while Jumbo Jackson, Dan Stone Jr., Champagne Lover, and James Justice snared Bruce’s. We all had to fight to keep them away from each other, but in the end, we had them isolated on opposite ends of the room.

 

I took a moment to catch my breath before I glared at both of them. “Now what was that all about?”

 

They both started shouting at once. I tried to direct the conversation, but they were both hot enough that they weren’t listening to some kid. I finally managed to glean enough to understand what happened, especially after Eric the Bull quietly told me what he had witnessed. Apparently Peter had confronted Bruce, blaming the mistakes during their match on him. Bruce had disagreed and tried to walk away, but Peter shoved him and started shouting. The rest went downhill from there.

 

I ordered Bruce out of the room. He didn’t look too happy but thankfully, he listened. I then pulled Peter aside.

 

“Look, Peter. I understand you’re upset, but...”

 

“Oh, shut up, kid. Who do you even think you are? I’ve got Sam’s ear!”

 

That was it. I shoved him hard and spun him around. “You listen here, Valentine. I don’t care if you are best friends with Sam. What would have happened if the two of you got into a fight and someone got hurt? I’ve got plans that involve both of you, but so help me, if you wreck that, I don’t care if you were married to Sam, I would make your life a living hell! You got that?”

 

Peter seemed genuinely surprised at the venom in my voice, but he nodded quickly. “Okay, I got it.” Then he practically fled out of the room.

 

The rest of the locker room silently filed out. I didn’t look at any of them. It probably would have been better to chew Peter out in private, but I was past caring at that point. When I thought that the last of them had left, I sighed and started for the door. Then I looked up and saw Suzanne smiling sadly at me.

 

“I think you need a drink, boss. What do you say?”

 

I nodded. Why not? What could it hurt?

 

FINAL RATING: D+

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The Night Out

 

We found a club down the street from Perry Hall. It wasn’t much: two levels, a bar on each, the top floor looking over a modest dance floor. Suzanne and I found a quieter table in one corner, carefully settling into the shadows. It wasn’t a matter of kayfabe; the SWF and TCW had killed that a long time ago. After stopping Bruce and Peter from killing each other, I didn’t want any extra drama. True, there probably weren’t any USPW fans in the club, but you could never tell.

 

If Suzanne minded the privacy, she didn’t let on. Instead, she quietly ordered us some drinks. She asked for an appletini. I opted for a beer. I took a few sips, Suzanne smiling at me, the neon lights from the bar tinting her hair in shifting colors.

 

“So what did you think of tonight’s show?” she asked.

 

It was all the prompting I needed. I started dissecting the matches, the storylines, how I thought the individual wrestlers did. Suzanne was good, I’ll give her that. Before I knew what was happening, she had deflected my stories from the promotion to myself, talking about my childhood while sharing details about hers. It turned out we had more in common than I realized. She had grown up in a small town in Iowa, just across the border from Blue Earth. Not surprisingly, she had been a high school cheerleader and what my dad called a “triple A threat.” Straight As, very athletic, and artistic. As she told me about her training, we compared notes on our teachers’ techniques. I think she got the better end of the deal.

 

Any tension I might have felt at the beginning of the night slowly bled away. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe it was her. I don’t know. But for the first time in five months, I felt somewhat relaxed. This was good. I could get used to it.

 

Then Suzanne set down her drink and pried my hands off of mine. “C’mon. Let’s dance.”

 

Ice shot through my limbs. Dance? Me? No way. Sure, I could handle anything in the ring, but the last time I actually tried to dance, I had been compared to a flailing walrus. And that was the most favorable comparison.

 

But she insisted, dragging me from our corner and onto the edge of the floor. She didn’t wait for me to catch the rhythm, shaking and shimmying. I forced myself to move my feet, back and forth, back and forth. Then my arms darted up into fists, bopping to the beat. She turned a circle and laughed at me. Only I knew she wasn’t really laughing at me. It was joyous, not mocking.

 

The ice melted. My body moved a bit freer. I chuckled and followed her as she led me deeper onto the floor.

 

I don’t think we would have won any competitions. We did garner a few looks, but mostly from guys at Suzanne. A few smirked at me. My smile only grew broader.

 

Then the song ended and the mood shifted. A slow song. Some of the singles abandoned the floor to the couples, who sidled in close and swayed together.

 

I tried to ditch as well. My beer had to be getting warm. But a hand snared my belt and yanked me in close. Before I could react, Suzanne twined her arms around my neck and soon, we joined the slow undulation of the people around us.

 

Then she stepped closer, resting her chin on my shoulder. Her warmth washed over me, chased by delicious chills that rattled down my spine and into my feet. Her hands roamed across my back and I struggled to force breath past my slamming heart. I tried to calm down, my gaze roving over the crowd, looking for anything interesting. But all I saw were more couples in various stages of coupling...

 

And then I saw them.

 

Brandon and Alicia stood out, bathed in a cool blue light. They danced close, far too close, Brandon whispering something in her ear. She laughed easily, swatting him on the shoulder as he smiled wolfishly at her. They turned slowly and her gaze swept over me. And yet she didn’t react. She didn’t even notice me.

 

I must have tensed, because Suzanne took a step back and looked up at me, a question in her eyes. But as I looked into their blue depths, I saw more. And before I really knew what was happening, I tipped my head down, my lips finding hers easily.

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