Diary Preview Thread

[Jaded]

I'm thinking of trying a short diary - with a shelf life of, ooh... maybe 18 days? Am sure there's SOMETHING planned for January 20th.

 

Anyway, I figured that if I set something up with a definitive end it would hopefully mean I was less likely to flake. Current plan is to do 9 shows - 8 normal shows then a PPV - from my WAR federation in the 2002 draft that's just about finished.

 

However, I'm not quite sure my match-writing is really up to a fed which has pretty much no angles - have just done 2 sample matches, and was hoping a few people would comment on them...

 

JUNG DRAGONS vs HIROYOSHI TENZAN and SATOSHI KOJIMA

 

There is a lot of buzz about Kaz Hayashi being a future megastar in WAR, and he certainly got more of a chance to show off his skills than partner Jimmy Yang did in this match. However, the Jung Dragons were teaming together for the first time in just over a year, and their rustiness as a pairing was obvious, compared to the superb teamwork shown by Tenzan and Kojima. The more experienced pair took control at the ten minute mark, isolating Yang and brutally working over his head and neck with powerbombs and piledrivers. After five minutes or so of this, Yang managed to counter an Irish whip by getting a sensational springboard moonsault over Tenzan, and made the hot tag. Hayashi came in on fire, hitting a hurricanrana and a senton bomb, but then missed a frog splash and allowed Tenzan in turn to tag out. From there, it was Kojima all the way, as he hit several DDT variants before nearly decapitating Kaz with a vicious lariat for the victory.

 

Result: Kojima pins Hayashi, 18:03 ©

 

YUJI NAGATA vs STEVE WILLIAMS

 

The match between Yuji Nagata and ‘Dr Death’ Steve Williams was, as expected, extremely stiff. The two puroresus brawled intensely for 25 action packed minutes, with the crowd lapping it up – although it was noticeable that even at the age of 42, Williams still has moments when he forgets to sell, chiefly with his high impact running lariat just a few moments after Nagata had worked over his right arm for 10 minutes. While Dr Death came close with a massive scoop powerslam and an elevated powerbomb which both got long two counts, Nagata eventually took control again with a series of brutal kicks which left Williams reeling. From there, an enziguri took him down and Yuji went right back to working over Dr Death’s arm, then locked on his Nagata Lock III for the submission victory.

 

Result: Nagata gets a submission victory over Williams, 28:17 (B)

[TheOmniWarrior]

Im trying to figure out why my ECW 2006 Dynasty hasnt had any feedback at all... positive or negative. Heres a sample show. Maybe you guys can tell me what im doing wrong.

 

 

ECW Extreme Limits

 

 

 

Preshow:

Marek Brave vs Mike Mizanin (Miz/D)

21st Century Fox vs Lacey (Lacey/F)

 

The show opens up with a match about to start.

 

Match 1:

Jimmy Yang© vs Bam Bam Bigelow for the TV Title

Jimmy Yang wins it @ 9:44 with a Moonsault (C+)

 

JJ Dillon: Travis Tomko has requested a match against Nattie Neidhart tonight. Now because of Nattie's actions I gave it to him. So coming up next is Nattie vs Tomko ©

 

Match 2:

Nattie Neidhart vs Travis Tomko

Tomko wins it @ 9:32 with a big boot©

 

Tomko continues the attack on Nattie by locking her in her own finisher. THE SHARPSHOOTER. Jim runs out with a steel chair and smacks the hell out of Tomko with it. Jim then hits the Anvil Flattener on the chair, then helps Nattie to the back. ©

 

Adam Pearce goes to the ring with a microphone.

Adam: I am here in ECW to make an impact. I will prove that my old school style, and the youth on my side makes me the greatest wrestler in the world. There isnt a single man on the roster who can beat "Scrapiron" Adam Pearce. Not Goldberg. Not Tomko. Not even the new horseman Palumbo. To prove my point lets go ahead and let anyone in the back try to take me on. They will lose because "Scrap Iron" Adam Pearce will never be on the losing end.

 

Antonio Banks comes on out.

Antonio: Didnt yo punk ass lose last week to Jimmy Yang, who by the way is still the TV Champion? Boy please you aint mature enough to be a wrestler. I will fight you and I will teach your ass a lesson. (E)

 

Match 3:

Adam Pearce vs Antonio Banks

Adam Pearce wins it with a small package at 11:49 following a low blow (E)

 

Tomko busts into JJ Dillons office.

Tomko: YOU ARE THE WORST EXCUSE FOR AN AUTHORITY FIGURE EVER. YOUR JUST GONNA LET YOUR TOP STAR GET JUMPED BY JIM NEIDHART?

 

Dillon: What do you want a match with him tonight? You already had a match.

 

Tomko: Like it matters. He pissed me off and im going to kill him in that ring tonight.

 

Dillon: Fine it will be done. Get to the ring because it will be.... LAST MAN STANDING! (C+)

 

Match 4: Tomko vs Jim Neidhart - Last Man Standing

Tomko wins it at 20:29 following a big boot after interference (C+)

Jim Neidhart was attacked by: Chuck Palumbo, Ted Hart and Adam Pearce

Tomko was attacked by: Nattie Neidhart and TJ Wilson

 

Post match attack:

Tomko, Palumbo, Adam Pearce and Ted Hart continue to obliterate the bodies of Jim Neidhart, Nattie Neidhart and TJ Wilson. After the beatdown all four men raise the sign of the four horsemen. (E)

 

Match 5: Tommy Dreamer vs Scott Hall

Scott Hall wins it at 15:09 after an outsider's edge(C+)

[James Casey]

Jaded:

I think that's fine, to be honest. You cover salient points about the match, and get across a little detail on the background of the fighters too. The presentation is clean and clear enough, so the only suggestion I'd have is to break up each segment with a * or similar so it's clear at a glance where each piece begins and ends.

 

TheOmniWarior:

A little work on the presentation (clearly separating one segment from another as noted above, possibly using bold or italics to separate 'set-up' stuff like segment titles, from the actual segment) would go a long way.

 

Also, a bit of info on the matches themselves would add a lot to the show. Use the road agent notes for clues about how the match worked (or didn't). You can build your characters personalities during the match by hitting on the high points - signature moves, shortcuts, taunts, that sort of thing.

 

There's no explanation for the run ins in match 4, and match 5 seems superfluous as there was no build to it during the show. I'm sure that there's more explained in the diary itself, but those are the things that leapt out at me.

 

Hope that helps the two of you!

[Jaded]

JC - Thanks!

 

TOW - Agree with most of JC's points. Quick tip which I've found useful when match-writing - wikipedia is surprisingly good for move lists, with a lot of the better known wrestlers having about 10-15 moves in there. I'm REALLY out of touch with current wrestling and have never seen Nattie Neidhart, but from looking at her and Tomko's wiki entries, this is how I'd write the match.

 

While no-one could accuse Nattie of a lack of heart, she was clearly outmatched by the massive Tomko, who weighs in at well over twice as much as she does. With Travis dominating the early stages of the match, she switched to high risk aerial offence, and finally managed to take him off his feet with a missile dropkick. When she tried to lock in her rear naked choke, however, the powerhouse roared and climbed to his feet with her on his back, then put her down with a massive military press into a fallaway slam. Biding his time as a groggy Nattie staggered to her feet, Tomko then hit his big boot on her to get the victory.

[TheOmniWarrior]

Thanks James Casey and Jaded. Ill try out both of your advices.

[Phantom Stranger]

Poor old Todd...

 

 

Nice stuff, JC.

[TheOmniWarrior]

So hows this compared to my earlier attempts (and yeah I realized I forgot the times on the matches)

 

 

The show starts with CM Punk in the ring

Punk: Tonight in our match against eachother Jeff Hardy, I can guarantee a loss by you. No matter who you get, no man can outmatch the tag team of me and the partner I chose last week after the show. Now Hardy, I know your probbably to high on your so called 420 fun times in the back now, but remember you and I have a match tonight and tonight, will be the last match you will even be able to get high, because tonight Jeff I will destroy your body to the point that smoking your weed, snorting your coke becomes an impossibility for you. Enjoy tonights beatdown. (D)

 

 

Match 1: TV Title Rematch: Sandman© vs Averno

The match was pretty back and forth, the fans were barely into though, just like last week. The match ender after Averno missed a diving headbutt, with Sandman taking advantage, he smacked Averno several times with his singapore cane before finally hitting the white russian legsweep getting himself the victory.

(E)

 

 

The cameras go backstage where Krystal(Marshall) is interviewing DDP

Kristal: Ladies and Gentlemen tonights next match is a double-debut match between Sean O'Haire and my guest Diamond Dallas Page! Page what are your thoughts about your opponent.

 

Page: What are my thoughts about Sean? Sean is going to lose hardcore tonight. You see in the previous organizations DDP couldnt use steel chairs. I couldnt use barbed wire. I couldnt use tables. Babe, you should be asking Sean O'Haire what hes doing to prepare for the God Of The Diamond Cutter. BANG!

©

 

Match 2: Sean O'Haire vs Diamond Dallas Page

The match was down to the wire, both men left everything they had in the ring. DDP tried to hit the Diamond Cutter on O'Haire but O'Haire shoved him off into an exposed turnbuckle. He then hit the Widow Maker, and quicky pinned DDP.

(C+)

 

Scott Hall Open Challenge

Scott Hall comes to the ring with a microphone

Hall: Hey yo, I dont have a match booked for tonight so Ill take on anyone in the back right here right now. I may be a bad guy, but I still want to prove myself as the most dominant man in the ECW Locker Room, so anyone in the back that has the cojones to take on the most dominant man in ECW come on out!

GOLDBERG RUNS OUT

(C+)

 

Match 3: Scott Hall vs Goldberg

Goldberg and Scott Hall had a fantastic match. The fans thought that ever man could legitimately win the match. The match was so close and was full of 2.9 counts. In the end Goldberg reversed the outsider's edge into a DDT and hit the jackhammer for the win.

(B)

 

Krystal interviewing Alex Wright

Krystal: Ladies and Gentlemen Alex Wright

Alex: Look I have been vastly misused in every company I have ever worked for. Hell if I was being used right here I would already be world champion. So im here to make a challenge. To Terry Funk. Terry Funk is a multi-time world champion, so if I face him and defeat him, that would be a launch to my ECW Career. It would also be a good chance to cement my legacy here in ECW.

 

Terry (in ring): ALEX WRIGHT Consider your challenge accepted. I hope your prepared, once you step into the ring with me you will NEVER be the same again!

(D)

 

 

Match 4: Terry Funk vs Alex Wright

This was a decent technical display by Wright and Funk, it just seemed lackluster to the fans because of the great entertainment earlier on in the night. Alex Wright put Terry's body through hell and back, and Terry did the same to Alex's legs. Terry had to nearly break Alex's legs with a spinning toe hold to get the younger man to tap out.

C-

 

 

Jeff Hardy reveals tag team partner

Jeff Hardy: CM Punk you want to take away a persons right to their freedoms of their choices. Well tonight your gonna see just what Jeff Hardy can do in a tag team match. Especially without rules. You say your partner is so great? Well just look at my partner...

The Camera zooms out a bit.

Killings: WHATS UP! CM Punk I thank you, because of you I get to be in the main event and kick your ass. NOW THATS WHATS UP. Tonight CM Punk, you say your going to beat me and Jeff. It doesnt matter if you have Goldberg for your tag team partner. It doesnt matter if you have "Mr. No Show" Brock Lesnar for your partner. Tonight you will lose!

Jeff and Ron start heading to the ring.

(E)

 

 

Match 5: Jeff Hardy & Ron Killings VS CM Punk & The Black Crow(Sting)

The match had a lot of high paced action from R-Truth and Jeff Hardy, they even managed to keep CM Punk from tagging in Crow, it just didnt last. CM Punk reversed a twist of fate attempt, and dodged Killings scissor kick, managing to roll into a tag by the Crow. It was over. He hit the death drop on Hardy he then threw Hardy at Killings forcing Killings in. After a thunderous clothesline into the corner he hit the running splash then locked Killings in the death lock. Killings tapped out.

(C+)

[Jaded]

TOW, that's MILES better.