All children, except one, grow up.

BoomKing · May 6, 2009

He’s been there through it all. The Mania and the murders, The slams and the screwjobs, the Rumbles and the roids. He’s survived name changes, buyouts and scandals and is still standing tall. If you ask Vince McMahon why, after 18 years in the business, this kid still has a job, he’ll tell you. He makes a damn good cup of coffee...

falling_star · May 6, 2009

w00t!

BoomKing · May 6, 2009

For those who dont know, this diary will be a follow up for my short lived diary "The Kid And The Business" which can be found here.<a href="http://www.greydogsoftware.com/forum/showthread.php?t=36840&highlight=boomking" rel="external nofollow">http://www.greydogsoftware.com/forum/showthread.php?t=36840&highlight=boomking</a>

BoomKing · May 6, 2009

“This guy?” said Stephanie McMahon as she pressed her finger against the glass of The Kids office. The look on her face and the tone of her voice suggested she was far from thrilled by the idea. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Hunter put his arm around his wife.

“Honey, this is exactly the type of guy we need. I mean, look at him!”

“I’d rather not,” came her curt reply. “The only reason this guy hasn’t been canned already is because my dad thinks he owes him. I mean, what’s he ever done?”

Hunter rolled his eyes. Was his wife still so clueless on the history of this company? “ I dunno Steph, people always talk about Russo and Patterson, but when The Kid had his head screwed on right, he was as good an idea man as any of them. Hell, if it wasn’t for him, the WWF might never have won the wars.”

The Kid sat obliviously in his office, picking lint out of his belly button.

“Ughh, just look at him!” shrieked Stephanie, still not sold on the idea.

“Ok, granted, he’s let himself go a little bit lately…but that’s why he’s perfect!”

Stephanie turned to face her husband and looked him in the eyes.

“I don’t get it. Why can’t you take the job? Don’t you want to work with me?”

“Uh of course I do, we’ve been through this already precious! There’s nothing I want more than for you and me to run this company side by side…and one day it’s gonna happen. Just not today..”

Stephanie folded her arms and turned back to the window to witness The Kid spinning around on his executive chair

“You know my dads as well as I do Hunter. When he said I could hire anybody I wanted, what he really meant was, I could hire anybody as long as it was you! He’s expecting you to be head booker, and what Vince expects he usually gets.”

“That’s the problem. Vince expects it, you expect it, and everyone in the locker room expects it. Don’t you see it’s a poisoned chalice?”

“A what?”

“If I take that job then in the eyes of the wrestlers and the Internet fans I’ll be doing it just to keep myself in the main event.”

“That’s ridiculous! You’re there on merit!”

“We know that, but everyone else will see it differently, trust me. I’ll be forced to take a step back and push other people, even though their not ready for it. It’ll be a disaster. And if I do stay in the main event then the boys will turn on us completely!”

“So what has this got to do with…him?”

“Well, Vince has a lot of respect for The Kid, so he’s gonna be happy if you promote him. The boys will be happy because The Kid has always been their friends. You should hear some of the stories he tells about Mr Perfect back in the day!”

Stephanie shot him a glare that said “get on with it.”

“Anyway, the fans will be happy because I can keep my main event spot, and most of all, me and you can be happy Steph.”

“I fail to see how any of this can make me happy. I want to work sat next to you, not that talentless slob!”

“Think about it Honey, you said it yourself, he’s lucky to even have a job anymore, he’s living off his past! When was the last time he had a good idea? He’s going to be so happy to have a steady job on an increased salary that he’s not going to want to rock the boat. He’ll do anything I….WE tell him to.”

Stephanie’s eyes lit up. She finally understood. Sure, The Kid might have the fancy title, but the power, the true power, would be hers and her husbands.

“So, are you going to go in there and tell him the good news or shall I?”

GatorBait19 · May 6, 2009

Can't wait for this

SWF2K9 · May 6, 2009

the last one I enjoyed, it seemed you weren't some guy writing something on the internet, it seemed it was real! An actual diary, will be reading loyally

The Final Countdown · May 6, 2009

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>The Kid sat obliviously in his office, picking lint out of his belly button.</div></blockquote> <img alt=":eek:" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/eek.png.0e09df00fa222c85760b9bc1700b5405.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> What have they done to you, Kid? What have they done? Can't wait for more of this.

pepper2008 · May 6, 2009

The Kid has been lobotomized, too many shock therapy, happy drugs or just too much JD. Push Mr. Perfect again to the moon:)

pate · May 6, 2009

Fantastic!!

DeadCeleb · May 6, 2009

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="pepper2008" data-cite="pepper2008" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>The Kid has been lobotomized, too many shock therapy, happy drugs or just too much JD. Push Mr. Perfect again to the moon:)</div></blockquote> How is he supposed to do that?<img alt=":rolleyes:" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/rolleyes.png.4b097f4fbbe99ce5bcd5efbc1b773ed6.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Anyways, never got a chance to drop a line on the old diary, but seriously can't wait to read this one!

The Final Countdown · May 6, 2009

I'm sure you've got lots planned out, and have a great direction in mind. However, a thought just came to me, and I figured I may as well throw it at ya.

We're making a big leap forward chronologically (obviously), and it seems as if The Kid has changed pretty significantly over that time. I think it would be neat if we saw an occasional flashback from The Kid's point of view, showing us some of the more significant moments that helped turn him into who he is today. For instance, it seemed as if Kid was becoming friendly with the Hart family, so maybe give us a peek into the Montreal Screwjob as the Kid saw it?

Again, I'm sure whatever you have in store will be great. Just a suggestion.

BoomKing · May 6, 2009

Thanks for all the great comments so far guys, I'll try to live up to all your expectations! Great to see people like pepper and gator still reading, and yes pepper, it would be a little difficult to push Perfect to the moon given his current "situation." (unless of course, you believe in the whole biblical heaven and hell, in which case he may be closer to the moon than any of us...)

SWF, thats a huge compliment, thanks! I know I've broken my own rules already in the first two posts, but from now on, I want to concentrate only on things that The Kid see's and does to try and keep it more diary like.

Countdown, I appreciate the input, and in fact that was something I kinda intended to do in future posts. I've added one major change to history that will play out in future posts which should shed some light on The Kids current lobotomized/drugged up/ JD'd to the eyeball (delete as appropriate) state of mind.

Anyway, thanks again, I know I don't deserve people to read this after going off the radar for so long, but I hope those that do enjoy it!

pepper2008 · May 6, 2009

No Mr Perfect what now, Well he could launch a Space Shuttle named Mr. Perfect:( Push the Million Dollar Man to the moon? Wait ,he is retired , how about his son...<img alt="

" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

rjhabeeb · May 6, 2009

Wow my day keeps getting better..... I read your last diary in entirety last night as it was one getting some heavy praises that i never got around to checking out....it was absolutly fantastic and I was very dissapointed with the sudden ending....and now I have this to look forward to

Push Tentacles to the moon!

BoomKing · May 7, 2009

The Kid sat in contemplative silence. This was one of the toughest decisions he’d had to make in years and one he couldn’t make lightly.

“You’ll have to give me a minute to think it through; I wasn’t expecting this at all!”

The Kid weighed up the pros and cons. Sure, it was more freedom, but is it what he really wanted? He searched his soul for the correct response, and in the end, he let his head rule his heart.

“ Look, I’m sorry, but I’ve made up my mind. I do NOT want to upgrade my cell phone coverage thank you very much sir. Good day.”

And with that, The Kid hung up the phone and said goodbye to the world of lower cost international calls…

The kid’s door opened. “Have you got a minute?”

The Kid stood bolt upright. “Sure! Anything for you Mrs McMahon!”

Stephanie cautiously entered the room. What a dump. Screwed up paper and empty pizza boxes everywhere. Action figures strewn across the desk.

“I like what you’ve done with the place…”

“Uh, yeah, sorry, I’ve been real busy lately, not much time to tidy.”

“Anyway, the reason I’m here is….what the hell is that smell?”

“Excuse me?”

“It smell’s like something died in here! Oh my god! Is that a rat?!”

“Oh no Mrs McMahon, that’s my lemming, Monsoon! Their actually much smarter than rats despite their reputation….”

“Really. How…interesting. So, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Vince is changing things around here.”

“Yeah I heard.”

“Well, don’t tell anybody I told you this but he’s starting to take a step back and give me more control. Seems the old man finally realises he can’t do this forever.”

“Hey that’s great Stephanie. What about Shane though?”

“Shane never had the head for business that I do, you know that. Anyway, I didn’t come here to talk about Shane; I came here to talk about you. You know, I’ve always kept an eye on you, Kid. I mean, some people just don’t appreciate talent when they see it! They always talk about Russo and Patterson, but in my estimation, you were always as good an idea man as any of them.”

The Kid was flattered but wary. The McMahon’s always did have a way of putting you at ease before they dropped a bombshell.

“Thank you Mrs McMahon. That means a lot to me coming from you.”

“I’m sure it does. That’s why when this new position came up, I naturally thought of you.”

“New position?”

“We need a head booker Kid, someone to oversee Raw, Smack down, Superstars and ECW, and I want you to be our man!”

The Kid was floored. He always thought that if he was ever to get a top job it would have been when he was at his creative peak in the late 90’s, but politics and personal problems always got in the way. He’d personally given up on the idea and settled into the background ever since, so why now? Why after all these years did Stephanie McMahon of all people want him?

“Gee, Mrs McMahon, this is totally unexpected! I don’t know what to say!”

“Then say yes”

The Kid stood back up and paced his tiny office. Maybe it was the shock, or maybe it was the quarter bottle of JD he had already polished off this morning, but the Kid couldn’t think straight. He felt his airways tighten and he began to panic

“Can, can I, that is to say, may I say maybe?”

“Maybe? I offer you the biggest break of your career, a way out of this cramped anonymous office and you say maybe?”

Stephanie was about to read him the riot act, but stopped herself just short.

“ Sure, why not sleep on it, mull it over. This is a big decision, I understand that.”

Stephanie got up to leave. She put her hand on the door and turned back around to face The Kid.

“But you understand this. There will be changes around here. Big changes that are going to make the Titan Tower Massacre look like a nosebleed! It would be a shame for somebody as talented as you to get lost in the shuffle. I expect your answer tomorrow morning, don’t disappoint me.”

BoomKing · May 7, 2009

The Kid didn’t go home that night. Instead he sat in his office contemplating his future and playing Bejewelled. Mostly playing bejewelled. After finally posting a new high score he looked up from his monitor at the walls of his tiny office. They were adorned with posters and photo’s of years gone by, pictures of him and the greatest wrestlers who ever lived sharing jokes and telling stories. There he was with Bret and Owen before their WrestleMania X classic, putting Andre The Giant in a headlock to the delight of the boys, even shaking hands with The Warrior.

Nowadays, the superstars barely recognised him as he passed them by, and in truth, he barely recognised them. It had been ten long years since he had been actively involved with the creative process., and he had given up trying to follow all the convoluted storylines. He heard Monsoon scurrying away in his cage.

“What am I gonna do, Monsoon?” he asked the tiny rodent.

“What are you nuts Kid? It’s a no brainer! This is the job you always wanted!”

The Kid turned slowly in his chair to see Gorilla Monsoon stood in front of him. He sat aghast at the image in front of him

“ Stop catching flies Kid. What’s wrong, you never seen a dead guy before.”

The Kid reached back to grab a drink off his desk but the bottle was empty.

“Christ, how much of this stuff have I had?”

“That’s you all over Kid, blaming the liquor for your problems! It makes me sick to see what you’ve become! You had it all at your feet and you let it all go!”

“Hey hang on a minute!” said The Kid, not quite sure why or how he was arguing with Gorilla Monsoon at 3am. “A lot of **** went down that you don’t know about!”

“You think I don’t know? I might be dead but I’m not stupid!”

“Then you know I lost the three people closest to me in the space of a year?”

Gorilla put his head in his hands

“I hope your not counting me amongst those Kid.”

“Of course I am, you were like a father to me!”

“Yeah? Well you had a funny way of showing it. Plus, you got over it pretty soon, when was the last time you visited my grave?”

“I, uh, I’ve been busy Gorilla, you know what it’s like around here.”

“Busy? Busy doing what? You know bee’s and mosquito’s are busy creatures but people only squish the mosquito’s. Grieving over me doesn’t excuse what you’ve become. I had a good life, a life I was proud of .”

The Kid sighed audibly.

“I know, but it wasn’t just that was it. I still wasn’t over the whole Owen thing.”

“ Owen was a good man, Kid. He deserved to be remembered and you did more than most to keep his spirit alive, but you did it at the cost of your own life. Everybody else moved on, why couldn’t you?”

The Kid was visibly shaking and a tear formed in the well of his eye.

“It’s hard to move on when you suggest something that kills one of your best friends!”

“You didn’t kill Owen Kid! Bret himself said that Owen wanted to do the stunt, you couldn’t have stopped him if you had wanted to. It was a tragedy, sure, but you can’t blame yourself.”

“I dunno, maybe your right. But I should have tried harder. Just like I should have tried harder to….”

The Kid tailed off as the images all came flooding back

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was December 12, 1999. The day of Armageddon. The day that Hulk Hogan returned The WWF. It was the best kept secret in the business, nobody knew except Vince, Hogan, and The Kid who had negotiated to bring Hogan back to his spiritual home. It was perfect. Except for one snag.

“Vince, I need to talk to you for a moment, in private.”

The Kid and Vince headed to a secluded area backstage.

“What is it Kid.”

“It’s our “special guest” tonight. His flight can’t take off. Apparently there’s heavy snow in New York…”

“Wait, New York? What the hell is he doing in New York?”

“He had some business to take care of before coming here so I said he could get here later seeing as he isn’t going on till last. Anyway I think this works in our favour because we can unveil him on Raw tomorrow night in front of a bigger audience instead.”

“Are you ****ing joking!? By now, Bischoff will have figured out what’s going on! Tomorrows too late, this has to happen tonight! Listen to me Kid and listen good, I don’t care how you do it, but one way or another, Hulk Hogan better come through that curtain tonight or you can find employment elsewhere!”

Vince huffed his way down the corridor and The Kid went off to make a phone call

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I shouldn’t have made that phone call Gorilla.”

“Vince shouldn’t have put you in the position to have to Kid. You can’t blame yourself.”

“But I do! It’s tortured me for ten years! If I hadn’t put pressure on them to take off, Hogan would still be alive.”

“They were trained pilots Kid, they knew what they were doing. Nobody could have known that the weather was going to get as bad as it did.”

“I KNEW! In my heart of hearts I knew it was a bad idea but I did it anyway, because I was more concerned with my job. And you know the really sad part? I think I knew that Vince wouldn’t have sacked me either way. I did it not because I was scared of being canned, but because I wanted to impress Vince.”

The Kid sobbed into his flannel shirt.

“Are you happy now!?” he asked Gorilla through tear strained eyes.

“No, I’m not happy. I didn’t come here to drag up the past, I wanted to talk about the future.”

“Future, past, present…it’s all one big mess of lies and pain.”

“But that’s the thing Kid, it doesn’t have to be. Take the job.”

“Oh yeah, I wonder how long that will last! Even I can see it’s all one big set up. I’m gonna be back to being Vince’s yes man and Stephanie’s bitch! I think I’m better just staying where I am….”

“We both know their gonna get rid of you if you don’t take the job, and your right, you’ll most likely be sacked in a month if you do take it, so why not do it, raise some hell, and see where it leads? What have you got to lose?”

“How about my dignity, my integrity, my... constant hangover?”

“Take a look at yourself Kid, your talking to a figment of your imagination, in your office, at 3am, in your boxer shorts, because you aint got any real friends left. You wanna talk to me about dignity and integrity?”

The Kid looked in the mirror. Gorilla was right, he was a mess and he had been for years.

“Don’t you see, this is your big chance Kid, whatever the circumstances might be. You gotta grab the bull by the horns and ride it. Who knows, it might ease some of that guilt you’ve been feeling.”

The Kid reached into his top drawer and pulled out another bottle of JD. He threw it in the bin.

“I think I know what I’ve got to do Gorilla.”

“I know you do, Kid, you always did.”

Gorilla turned to leave. More for effect than anything else. Imaginary people don't have much need for doors.

“Gorilla, before you go, I just want you to know, that of all the things I regret about my life, the thing I regret the most is that we never made up before you…well you know.”

“ Me too Kid, I sure did miss that coffee.”

keefmoon · May 7, 2009

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="BoomKing" data-cite="BoomKing" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Gorilla turned to leave. More for effect than anything else. Imaginary people don't have much need for doors.</div></blockquote> Haha, that cracked me up! Amazing! Wow, I really don't know what to say. Using fake deaths is one thing, but real deaths, especially a tragedy like Owen Hart is a really, REALLY risky stunt. But it really does make sense as to why The Kid would have left the business and gone in to his shell, and in a really strange way it really draws sympathy towards him, even though it's a fake story, with a fake character, but a real incident. Why did Gorilla and the Kid fall out? I was really hoping the old one would continue and we'd get that moment where The Kid would genuinely thank Gorilla for all his help, but alas. You know how much I loved your old diary and I'm sure this'll be no different. It's been a cracking start, that's for sure.

The Final Countdown · May 7, 2009

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>“It’s hard to move on when you suggest something that kills one of your best friends!”</div></blockquote> Awesome. Well, not "awesome", as that was a terrible and tragic event. But having the stunt be Kid's idea was a wonderfully dramatic touch, especially considering you had already begun establishing a friendship between Kid and Owen. After another 8 years or so, it obviously only grew. The bit with Hogan threw me and caught me off-guard, but it worked. I think you needed at least one more major thing aside from the Owen incident to really make this transformation of Kid's make sense, and this fit the bill. I personally was expecting Kid to be a driving force behind the Montreal Screwjob, and get punched out by Bret afterwards ala Vinnie Mac. Also, loved everything Monsoon-related. The conversation with imaginary Gorilla was awesome, as was the pet lemming. Nice touch on making it a lemming, of all things. This thing is off to a great start; even better than the original so far, IMO. Can't wait to see what's coming next.

SWF2K9 · May 7, 2009

This is why I said I would be reading loyally, the story is just golden. This is a new DOTM nominee, and why did you kill hogan <img alt="

" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/redface.png.900245280682ef18c5d82399a93c5827.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />... who did orton and shawn face at thier respective Summer slams?

Jaded · May 7, 2009

Awesome, can't wait to see more!

pate · May 7, 2009

Great, great work.

GatorBait19 · May 7, 2009

YES, JD is still in the kids life!!!!!!!!!!!! and gorrilla as well

lol still doing a bang up job chris,........ I mean Kid

rjhabeeb · May 7, 2009

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="GatorBait19" data-cite="GatorBait19" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>YES, JD is still in the kids life!!!!!!!!!!!! and gorrilla as well lol still doing a bang up job chris,........ I mean Kid</div></blockquote> CHRIS?!?!?! but only Gorilla knows his name.....that must mean your----your him??!!??<img alt=":D" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

GatorBait19 · May 7, 2009

Lol yes my child, I couldn't tell anybody I was still alive..... or am I:D

BoomKing · May 7, 2009

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div> Originally Posted by BoomKing View Post Gorilla turned to leave. More for effect than anything else. Imaginary people don't have much need for doors. Haha, that cracked me up! Amazing! Wow, I really don't know what to say. Using fake deaths is one thing, but real deaths, especially a tragedy like Owen Hart is a really, REALLY risky stunt. But it really does make sense as to why The Kid would have left the business and gone in to his shell, and in a really strange way it really draws sympathy towards him, even though it's a fake story, with a fake character, but a real incident. Why did Gorilla and the Kid fall out? I was really hoping the old one would continue and we'd get that moment where The Kid would genuinely thank Gorilla for all his help, but alas. You know how much I loved your old diary and I'm sure this'll be no different. It's been a cracking start, that's for sure. </div></blockquote> Hey Keef! Yeah, I know it's a stretch of credibility to use real and fake tragedies to get the story across and I hope it doesn't offend anybody. That was never the intention. <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Awesome. Well, not "awesome", as that was a terrible and tragic event. But having the stunt be Kid's idea was a wonderfully dramatic touch, especially considering you had already begun establishing a friendship between Kid and Owen. After another 8 years or so, it obviously only grew. The bit with Hogan threw me and caught me off-guard, but it worked. I think you needed at least one more major thing aside from the Owen incident to really make this transformation of Kid's make sense, and this fit the bill. I personally was expecting Kid to be a driving force behind the Montreal Screwjob, and get punched out by Bret afterwards ala Vinnie Mac. Also, loved everything Monsoon-related. The conversation with imaginary Gorilla was awesome, as was the pet lemming. Nice touch on making it a lemming, of all things. This thing is off to a great start; even better than the original so far, IMO. Can't wait to see what's coming next. </div></blockquote> Thanks for the feedback Countdown. Im glad you felt the last post was justified. I toyed with messing with Montreal but I want that to play out further down the line. Glad you liked the Monsoon stuff. I guess thats my way of saying thankyou to everyone who read the last diary and for continuing to read after a long abscence. <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div> This is why I said I would be reading loyally, the story is just golden. This is a new DOTM nominee, and why did you kill hogan <img alt=":o" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/redface.png.900245280682ef18c5d82399a93c5827.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />... who did orton and shawn face at thier respective Summer slams?</div></blockquote> Ok, well the Hogan thing is a carry over from another idea I had for a diary. I probably shouldnt say too much about this, (because I'm sure everyone would rather read it than this diary,)but I toyed with the idea of carrying on this story before WrestleMania x, and having Hogan involved in an accident before the event. The idea was to have The Kid become one of Hogan's cronies and get by on his connections. Then, when Hogan had his accident, all of a sudden The Kid has to justify his job. But anyway, thats another story for another day... <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="22739" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div> YES, JD is still in the kids life!!!!!!!!!!!! and gorrilla as well lol still doing a bang up job chris,........ I mean Kid </div></blockquote> Thanks Gorilla, means a lot coming from you, you freaky ghost bastard!

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