Pinke Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 RAW ARENA Pyros and flares fire off explode through the RAW arena - huge spot lights trail through the unsuspecting audience. Beams of light clash in orchestrated chaos above the arena as Jim Ross speaks. JIM ROSS Folks. I can’t explain whats happened here tonight. Time is short. All I can say is ... well it’s hideous ... just hideous ... All I can say is to the fans this isn’t how we wanted to end things and I ... A group of figures interrupt Jim Ross at the commentator's table. They almost appear as if they’re asking for directions. One of the figures takes Jim Ross’s head set. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ad86c9a45ab0b1f11eee31c2ea2383bd2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/f39faba39bd340e6f4dd90b61c28c8a62g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c186aa44ff138ebe220c4c4b2ad557ad2g.jpg JIMMY KIMMEL Hi. I’m Jimmy Kimmel ... and welcome to ... I'm not sure if this is correct but - RAW??? Jimmy looks at his co-host. ADAM COROLLA I’m Adam Corolla and right you are, this is ... RAW. JIMMY KIMMEL Sounds a bit like a spanish porno, but I guess we’re here ... I’ll be honest people, I haven’t watched wrestling since the hulkamania days. MICHAEL SHANKS While I myself am an avid wrestling fan, and I’m looking forward to joining the team here on RAW. I’m Michael Shanks. JIMMY KIMMEL You are aware you're named after a brand of toilet right ... ? An awkward pause ensues ... Adam attempts to break the silence. ADAM COROLLA I spent many an hour watching sweaty men pretend to hurt each other as a teen I can tell you. JIMMY KIMMEL And that was just your family reunion ... (Pause) ... Well onwards. Up first we Batista vs Hulk Hogan! MICHAEL SHANKS It’s not going to be Hulk Hogan. ADAM COROLLA It’s not going to be Hulk Hogan? MICHAEL SHANKS Steroids! He is being replaced by Adam Sandler. Michael looks cheerful. Intro Rating: D+ Batista vs Adam Sandler http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/aacb479461c464644c4a25fe4f47c7732g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/15d676d6a9fd4ff93ec4cc41cc99b26f2g.jpg Batista walks to the ring through his own pyro, ignoring the explosions and flares. Adam Sandler enters playing a kazoo in a diving mask with Arnold Schwarzenegger in tow. Sandler steps up to Batista throwing a handful of heavy slaps to his chest. Batista's lips can be seen moving stating ... 'I won't lay down for you' ... Schwarzenegger enters the ring taking off his suit jacket before hammering Batista with heavy clubbing blows. He eventually restrains Batista for Adam Sandler to bring the pin, as well as allowing him to make several statements about Batista's hair and dress sense that will likely stay with him for life. Sandler wins with Arnold. Rating: D+ Vocal fans complained. Post Match Celebration http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/b4461dc6ee409a191f91a4f537bf8ea92g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/a525514879011d64cf2e01bedc95441a2g.jpg Tom Cruise enters the arena clapping above his head for the victorious Adam Sandler and Arnold. He grins constantly, stopping to sign autographs on anything or anyone that gets too close to him as he strolls up the run way. After some confusion he enters the ring and his handed a mic. TOM CRUISE Yeah. Yeah! ... You see that?! You see that?! That’s what happens when you take drugs ladies and gentlemen ... Arnold took drugs. Back in the day ... Now thanks to Narconan and Dianetics, Arnold’s clean. Don’t see Arnold getting beat down by Adam Sandler, do you? No. No you don’t. Are you down with that? Are you ... ? Because if you’re not your guest general manager, Tom Cruise, and Arnold can have a word with you. Oh yeah. Kanye hit my music. The crowd boo’s and hisses. Cruise snaps his fingers and Kanye West enters and sets up to perform.. Celebration Rating: B+ Back Stage http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/fe40f4b375ea09da147fca9b63feaa252g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/81c550323798b9f8373a98966a5a9dda2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/e9905ff51d8b4ecf496267ecb75763252g.jpg SHAWN MICHAELS This is worse than jobbing to Hulk Hogan at Summer Slam. TRIPLE H You’re telling me ... I can’t stand Kanye West. He smells faintly of fish, and his music is passable. SHAWN MICHAELS We can’t just sit down and take this. TRIPLE H You’re right. As usual. *Sighs* Shawn and Triple H begin heading to the arena. Kanye stands performing on stage performing ‘Stronger’ to Cruise’s amusement. Cruise nods and grins at the audience in a bewildering way. Kanye looks behind himself repeatedly, noticing the presence of Shawn and Triple H. He tries to ignore it at first, before turning towards them with bravado. KANYE WEST Mother F- ... Kanye glances at the ring towards cruise and decides against swearing. KANYE WEST (CONT’D) Do you mind? TRIPLE H Sorry Kanye, I’mma let you finish but ... Shawn Michaels hurls out a huge super kick, snapping back Kanye’s head and throwing him to the floor. TRIPLE H (CONT’D) Shawn! Shawn provides an answer with a faux apologetic shrug. ADAM COROLLA Can we see that in slow mo??? JIMMY KIMMEL That was truly a great moment in entertainment. Security staff begin chasing Degeneration X along with Arnold Schwarzenegger. MICHAEL SHANKS Looks like not everyone shares your opinion ... Coming up next! We have Steven Seagal vs CM Punk. And I’ve just been informed that later in the show, instead of Degeneration X we will be having a visit from Robin Williams. Stay with us! Degeneration X Kanye Ownage Rating: C+ Kanye West was not comfortable in this segment Steven Seagal vs CM PUNK http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/b220dbf43e43dfeb68858290bc5ad0012g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/4d9dde6645df02c4fcb507a3e6c370da2g.jpg ADAM COROLLA Another right hand there from Steven Seagal ... JIMMY KIMMEL Is it just me or are they getting faster? ADAM COROLLA No. No that’s a common phenomenon ... Time apparently moves faster the older you get ... so relatively Seagal’s offense is getting faster but really you’re just getting older ... MICHAEL SHANKS I don’t know what you guys are talking about. Steven Seagal is a deadly fighter and this capacity crowd are lapping up the action. Seagal Wins. Rating: F Seagal gasses half way through - The rowdy crowd make their dislike of Seagal known. Seagal was penalised for no selling Juliette Lewis and Lisa Marie-Presley vs Trish Stratus http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/38742450471d711665d3851d651128c42g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/21f1bb6912a6a977446ca9293a2e92992g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/078e0e41549370af0a70e90ced8d77292g.jpg ADAM COROLLA It’s a skank battle royal! JIMMY KIMMEL I don’t care who wins, just how they look when they lose. ADAM COROLLA I like them when they look disappointed. JIMMY KIMMEL I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to get more pop corn. ADAM COROLLA Lisa Marie with yet another pin attempt ... if you can call a loose fondling over the chest a pin ... JIMMY KIMMEL Trish Stratus with the roll up! Wow this could be a first in history ... Juliette Lewis is trying to pull Trish off of Lisa Marie with all the effectiveness of a dead ant! ADAM COROLLA Our official Colin Ferguson is trying to regain control ... trying to tell Juliette Lewis to leave but ... he gives up and gives the 1, 2, 3 instead ... JIMMY KIMMEL Not much time celebrate for Trish ... She’s being chased by security. ADAM COROLLA Does that often happen at these events? Trish Stratus Wins. Rating: D+ Crowd were unimpressed with Lisa Marie-Presley. License 2 kill vs Luls http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/479adf8694b552983f67fe93d2417c132g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/fb40b1eb1b3b4a7416dfb6a8be132cfa2g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/32b7a78968ef39fa48704b596e6fb5542g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/5d718219171a5b9d51af483a3227f5512g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS Licence to kill are predictably destroying Jason Lee and Robin Williams. Their training really showing through as a team. JIMMY KIMMEL Timothy Dalton has only had to switch his pace maker around once in the middle of this fight. ADAM COROLLA And of course Jason Lee ... Robin Williams’s tag partner is famous for a number of films such as Mallrats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back ... he’s also famous for inventing the children’s board game ‘knob touch’. JIMMY KIMMEL He is dressing rather like a dirty old man these days, right you are. Rating: C Jason Lee was tired towards the end. William Regal vs Ben Affleck http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/91351cab2c6610f3b3b74ca2b4183a202g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/03247439613a4025fcd0b90ab37cc2ae2g.jpg JIMMY KIMMEL William Regal not happy with that loss. ADAM COROLLA How do you know ... ? He’s british he always looks that way. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Adam. Rating: C+ Announcing wasn't up to the quality of the match Mel Gibson vs Steve Austin vs Chris Brown http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ff018d788dc000620f4c3a23eeb6fd0f2g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/1d70f5de846f210c08b3682db43449d52g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/93357ce6919fd3f68bdbe7d9f623817f2g.jpg JIMMY KIMMEL And of course all these men have one thing in common ... ADAM COROLLA They’ve all been cited for domestic violence? JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Adam. MICHAEL SHANKS In ring, Steve Austin and Mel Gibson are both turning on Chris Brown. A case of the pot calling the kettle black? JIMMY KIMMEL I think that would be an accurate description of Chris Brown, unfortunately. MICHAEL SHANKS ... Mel Gibson wins by pinning Chris Brown Rating: C Jason Lee tiring towards the end. Chris Brown got vocal static from the crowd for being a douche Tom Cruise Vs Vince McMahon (Couch War) http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/0dd1369a78117f4076effe978b66efdc2g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS A late addition to this match ... the winner will retain ownership of RAW and the WWE brand name ... ADAM COROLLA That seems a ridiculous thing to wager on a match held in someone’s living room. JIMMY KIMMEL Ah yes ... the deadly couch war ... A match designed by Oprah Winfrey herself, blessed be upon her. ADAM COROLLA It appears Mr. McMahon doesn’t appear to know the rules, he’s asking Cruise for assistance. Vince McMahon hesitantly stands on a couch opposed to Tom Cruise. VINCE MCMAHON Stand here. Just like this? ... Tom Cruise nods and grins. VINCE MCMAHON (CONT’D) And how do you win? Tom Cruise signals the ring side official. The bell rings and Tom produces a smooth drop kick, firing Vince straight out the ring in an unceremonious heap. Rating: C- Tom Cruise and McMahon didn't get along during this bout for obvious reason and it came across as awkward. Cruise begins spasming and grinning deliriously in a way which could be described as celebrating, but may possibly be early signs of a pending stroke. The audience watch in bewildered silence. His victory ‘video’ plays. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/0b3e00a6956fbf71d0822b1059f218082g.jpg JIMMY KIMMEL There’s just some horrors we should never have to see ... ADAM COROLLA Like Tom Cruise taking over a pro wrestling show? JIMMY KIMMEL That’s certainly one of them. That’s all we got time for folks; I’m Jimmy Kimmel, from myself, Adam Corolla and the guy from Star Gate, have a good night! Video Segment Rating: B Overall Rating: B Hurt Popularity of RAW overall (Duh!) ---------------------------- Just something stoopid am doing for myself. Using my own celeb deathmatch mod to mess around and fix glaring flaws in it. Thought a what if scenario for Tom Cruise buying the WWE would be amusing to me. If one other person on the planet is mildly amused even at my expense then my work is done. Cruise video and Vinny Mac pictures are clickable to little animation things. I was trying to link them into the actual post itself, but it doesn't seem to like gifs. Feel free to click and look. HTML/bbcode isn't my strong point so if anyone knows how to embed a gif effectively on the board lemme know! Kthxbai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wink Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 lulz:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHK1978 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 But where is Vince the Sham Wow Dude? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistaken Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 like the cuts, they go with the off beat nature of this diary, hope we see more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 4, 2010 Author Share Posted June 4, 2010 The Aftermath http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/7d05553000dc175d9f89002d92dbfb722g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/5ccf94dfe1604ca7511932abf097c1622g.jpg I immediately knew something was wrong because he was grinning. Tom Cruise stood proudly beneath an abortion in sign writing ... "DIANETICS COMBAT" it stated, amidst some gaudy lightening bolts and some form of symbolism involving a bull and a serpent which would make an Illuminati conspiracy nut have a hernia. I peered at him, "you're renaming RAW." "Yep." "You just bought the world's largest wrestling IP and you're ... renaming it?" "Yep." "Doesn't that seem ...counter productive ..." "Saving the world from a bunch of roided up freaks, and finally giving Scientology a voice in the world of entertainment ... ? That seems counter productive to you ... ?" It occurred to me that the majority of scientologists seemed to be working in the field of entertainment, but I imagined logic might be lost on Tom at this very moment. "Walk with me!" I did as he instructed ... mainly because the exit was roughly in the same direction. "So what's your job around here?" Now I have to say ... I don't normally lie, but given Tom was pretending to be the owner of the WWE I felt compelled to at least not tell him my job mostly involved screw drivers, water bottles and toilets. We continued walking, dodging past various workers and the odd passer by. Tom occassionally stopped to sign small items or shake a hand. "I do things ... mostly you know things that need doing. I kind of fill in blank spots." "That's great! I like that! Fills blank spots ... its kind of like someone you can put anywhere right? I mean most people are so demanding when you ask them to do something ... it's just ... " Tom stopped in the corridor, writing his name messily on a yellow cloth. "I uh ... I can't sign this." http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c48c7628b97f0b6387af05bb3c01230d2g.jpg "Hi, I'm Vince from Shamwow!" I thought I recognized the speaker from TV, but part of me hoped I didn't. "You need a road agent." "A what?" Tom look bewildered ... meaning he looked like he usually does. "A road agent. Look you're going to have to hire one anyway, you're throwing your money away." Vince grinned. Tom looked at me with a raised eye brow, "I need a road agent?" "Probably. They help organize matches and things ... make sure things don't go wrong. The last one quit because ... ummm," I had a think about it, "you're a dou- ... he's not a scientologist." "Sure, you're hired!" Tom beamed proud of himself. I thought about interjecting but the vending machine got in the way and I wanted a cola. "First thing I want you to do Vince," Tom wrapped an arm around Vince's shoulder. Vince looked positively enthralled at Tom's words, "I want you to get me some more ... explosive wrestling matches. You know like crazy jumpy all over the place stuff you know! Like crazy! ... ok ... go!" Tom watched Vince run down the corridor ... God knows where to. A telemall shopping internet meme just took the position of road agent at the WWE which is now renamed to Dianetics Combat ... I couldn't imagine things getting any sillier. We came to a door where a workman was taking down a plaque with Vince McMahon's name on it and about to replace it. I guessed it was Tom's office. He made me enter first, and it seemed rude to say no. I could've sworn I saw Shawn Michaels zipping up as we entered .... Triple H glared at us. Or maybe he just looked. His face always looked a little stressed, like he might be quietly struggling to hold one in. "We've been here for an hour," Triple H remarked. Tom smiled at them both, "look am sorry, I got caught up. Have a drink guys, take a seat." Shawn looked at Triple H before quickly jumping in, "oh we're not thirsty." Tom peered at them both, taking a seat slowly. "You know that Hunter isn't thirsty?" "I do. It's a ... well when you've known each other for so long you just know things." "Look guys ... I brought you here to discuss the other night ... " "Oh the super kick thing?" Shawn asked. "That was just a little hazing ... you know welcoming the new owner!" "Well .. I want you both to remain part of this company. I want to discuss how we make that happen, you know bounce a few ideas off you guys?" Tom gave his usual painted on grin. "Yeah," Triple H remarked, "we had to do that with the last owner. We had to bounce a few things off his chin if you get what I mean." "Bounce a few things off his chin ... " Tom stood casually to Triple H's Vaseline slathered chest. "Yeah? .... You think I don't get that? Think that was pretty high brow?" Tom peered at Triple H over his pointing out nipples like a mouse ready to rape an elephant. "What would McMahon say right about now ... ? Oh I know!!!! ... Tonight you will be facing ... KAAAAAAAAAAAAANE ... " Tom burst out laughing to everyone else's dismay. "Well here at Dianetic Combat we don't need Kane any more. Both of you will be facing whoever I say this week ... and both of you *will* lose. And if you're not down with that ... I'll send you both to the mail room ..." Triple H took a deep breath. Shawn tugged on his arm, pulling him towards the door. The pair left leaving the room steeped in uneasy eagerness which seemed to eminate from Cruise's face. "What's your name? Wait ... it doesn't matter. I want you to go find Vince and-" "Which Vince?" "Vince from Shamwow ... Tell him its his responsibility to control the ring next week and that Degeneration X *will* be losing to The Fast and the Curious, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker ... make it happen." "I ... guessssss ... " Tom turned away from me, switching on the TV before throwing himself into his chair. "Oh and while you're at it ... can you take Vince's alcohol to Arnold's office? I don't drink." "Which Vin- ..." "Vince from Shamwow! And find me a stage act for next week ... get me someone more ... out there." This weeks news: Rumors of Tom Cruise's purchase of the WWE have been widely ignored. This isn't the first time the WWE has been 'sold' and likely won't be the last. Analysts have stated that the WWE are all too eager to push the idea of the sale and expect an official statement after this weeks ratings hit. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/e238a7a76f9839e834bf7bc1f46b65f52g.jpg Ted Allen of 'Queer Eye' fame released his latest book this week entitled "Esquire's Things A Man Should Know About Sex." Kanye West read the book and stated that the first thing a man should know about sex is not to have it with other dudes. Kanye West's statements have been condemned by popular press, and Ted seems to be enjoying the attention.... Hiring News: http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ae4261f85083f5403f72aa5640b9bc912g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c7776ad991dc1b2e507ce9efda7363122g.jpg No Sex Please We're British get Hugh Grant and Robbie Williams So You Think You Can Wrestle get Envied and Matt LeBlanc Johnny Depp gets Ryan Seacrest Action Heroes Alliance hired Morgan Freeman Suicide Girls hired Sandra Bullock This Weeks Events and Card Predictions welcome. Subject to change/be elaborated on tomorrow. Jason Lee Vs. Steven Seagal Steve Austin Vs. Chris Brown License 2 Kill Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig vs Randy Orton and Batista DX to Apologize to Kanye West Degeneration X Vs. The Fast and the Curious Mel Gibson Vs. The Undertaker Profile of the week: http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/77f93588a52aa802cb69d5d656363dc82g.jpg David Miscavige is often believed to be a robot controlled by Tom Cruise. He is the current head of the cult of Scientology and author of the children's picture book, "I made a religion, now you can too." Usher reviewed the book and gave it 3 out of 5 stars but commented he would have liked the pop up section to be elaborated on. ============================================== This may be a bit messy/a few mistakes but I'll clean them up later. Hopefully it's legible. Been very busy so it's waaaaaaaay late. Predictions are welcome. Points are awarded as follows: 1pt for getting the end of a match right 3pts for describing an event in some form of vague detail that is accurate 8pts for describing an event exactly as it happens before it occurs (Bonus 4 points for describing what will happen to Vince from Shamwow) Please feel free to also request any company profiles/worker profiles, and I'll dig them up. May post the full roster soon too, but have a little hiring to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHK1978 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Oh this is beyond awsome! I loved the Vince for Shamwow bit, you are going to need a road agent anyway! That was gold! Jason Lee Vs. Steven Seagal Jason Lee will need a lot more than kama to beat Steven Seagal! Steve Austin Vs. Chris Brown In the battle of the women abusers I got to go with Stone Cold. License 2 Kill Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig vs Randy Orton and Batista Come on of course the former and current James Bond's are going to win. DX to Apologize to Kanye West Degeneration X Vs. The Fast and the Curious Mel Gibson Vs. The Undertaker Mel Gibson will be to busy making racist rants... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Jason Lee Vs. Steven Seagal Steve Austin Vs. Chris Brown License 2 Kill Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig vs Randy Orton and Batista DX to Apologize to Kanye West Kanye will get a Pedigree Degeneration X Vs. The Fast and the Curious Mel Gibson Vs. The Undertaker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 5, 2010 Author Share Posted June 5, 2010 Dianetic Combat II ANNOUNCE TEAM: http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ad86c9a45ab0b1f11eee31c2ea2383bd2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/f39faba39bd340e6f4dd90b61c28c8a62g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c186aa44ff138ebe220c4c4b2ad557ad2g.jpg An arena still in a state of construction in Auditorio Del Estado Mexico lights up the night sky dramatically, inside a lone man mud wrestles three women to the apathetic boredom of a confused Mexican audience. In the wings an anxious road agent peers out at the scene hoping he hasn’t ruined his chances at his first chance at a legitimate career. This is the beginning of Vince from Shamwow becoming Vince the road agent ... JIMMY KIMMEL Hi folks welcome to ... (Peering at a sheet of paper) Dianetic Combat. I’m Jimmy Kimmel. ADAM COROLLA I’m Adam Corolla. MICHAEL SHANKS And- JIMMY KIMMEL -no one cares about Star Gate. ADAM COROLLA We’re just waiting on our TV slot opening up ... until then, enjoy ... This ... What is this? http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/5d718219171a5b9d51af483a3227f5512g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/078e0e41549370af0a70e90ced8d77292g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/38742450471d711665d3851d651128c42g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/21f1bb6912a6a977446ca9293a2e92992g.jpg JIMMY KIMMEL It appears to be Robin Williams mud "wrestling" a group of blondes, Adam. MICHAEL SHANKS This will be Trish’s last outing at Dianetic Combat, and we would all like to wish her a happy fair well. Match Rating: E+ Robin Williams wins. The first few bars of Pink’s get the party started flare up. To the world’s horror its being sung by William Shatner. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/9278ddbbe4be483baa8826c9653a748c2g.jpg ADAM COROLLA Wow. JIMMY KIMMEL Yes. Wow. Pink really has aged hasn’t she? ADAM COROLLA The years have not been kind, Jimmy. Pyro’s fire off as the set finishes up. Shatner Rating: D+ Ben Affleck begins heading to the ring as the music dies off. His opponent is already waiting. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/03247439613a4025fcd0b90ab37cc2ae2g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/b220dbf43e43dfeb68858290bc5ad0012g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS Affleck looking confident already coming off a win. ADAM COROLLA His wrestling is certainly better than his acting. Rating: D - Extremely short match Affleck wins with the Mallrat Splash. Michael Shanks and Jimmy Kimmel have chemistry together. D http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/32b7a78968ef39fa48704b596e6fb5542g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/4d9dde6645df02c4fcb507a3e6c370da2g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS Seagal is producing regular victories ... ADAM COROLLA And huge amounts of boredom. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Adam. The only thing that's stopping me from ending all of this with a hollow point to the head is Jason Lee’s comical facial expressions and rapist beard. Rating: E - Steven Seagal by pinfall. Everyone hates Seagal. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/fe40f4b375ea09da147fca9b63feaa252g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/81c550323798b9f8373a98966a5a9dda2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/e9905ff51d8b4ecf496267ecb75763252g.jpg Triple H heads to the ring alone towards Kanye West who waits impatiently clearly wearing shades in an indoor environment for no reason. Triple H calls for a microphone at ring side. KANYE WEST Where’s Michaels? TRIPLE H Shawn? ... Oh Shawn said he couldn’t make it. KANYE WEST His ass better get down here ... Mutha kicked me in the head ... he better get his ass- TRIPLE H Kanye ... Imma let you finish ... Kanye flinches and closes his eyes tight - expecting a huge super kick. He opens a single eye and peers out over the edge of his shades. Nothing ... KANYE WEST Oh ... Oh that’s real funny. You’re gonna let me finish? TRIPLE H Imma let you finish. KANYE WEST But ... ? TRIPLE H There’s no buts ... Imma really gonna let you finish. KANYE WEST You know I’ve been hearing this crap for the last five months and I’m so over it ... I tell you ... Kanye continues ranting. Shawn Michaels slips out from under the ring sneaking in a way that would make Wily Coyote envious. He begins tuning up the band in the corner of the ring. Kanye turns and waves his arms in defense. He tries to back away but finds Triple H in the way. Kanye gloriously catches Shawn Michaels foot with his lower lip. ADAM COROLLA (whilst eating a donut) That seriously never gets old. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Adam. MICHAEL SHANKS I actually think it was seriously disrespectful ... JIMMY KIMMEL Shouldn’t you be off making sci-fi channel shorts or something, Daniel Jackson? Rating for Angle: D+ http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/a525514879011d64cf2e01bedc95441a2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/0332a50bdc9eb27586b9aa2c73f7b3c72g.jpg A visibly irritated Tom Cruise walks towards the ring as Shawn and Triple H make hasty exits. Arnold Schwarzenegger holds the ropes up for him whilst Travolta hovers in the background. TOM CRUISE A lot of your expected to see a match tonight featuring Batista and Randy Orton. Unfortunately Randy Orton decided to *die* before making it to the arena. Unfortunately Randy Orton decided he liked his Thetens a little too much, he probably hit the crack pipe and a few steroids before he drowned in a vat full of jelly. Some of you might think this is harsh ... some of you might think it’s over the top ... but it’s the law of the jungle. So tonight ... Randy Orton will be replaced by someone I believe is of equal calibre ... ladies and gentlemen I give you ... Tom Green! ADAM COROLLA I’d just like to say in all seriousness that Tom Cruise doesn’t represent everyone’s feelings about Randy Orton back stage. JIMMY KIMMEL Absolutely not. Randy Orton Announcement Rating: C http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/fb40b1eb1b3b4a7416dfb6a8be132cfa2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/479adf8694b552983f67fe93d2417c132g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/b26b421906013f799dfbc7d76a33369c2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/15d676d6a9fd4ff93ec4cc41cc99b26f2g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS Batista understandably frustrated at his new tag team partner. ADAM COROLLA I’d consider having Tom Green more of a handicap than anything else. JIMMY KIMMEL Batista with the cover ... Tom Green trying tries to intercept Daniel Craig but is steam rolled like a danish pastry! MICHAEL SHANKS This is going to be Batista’s challenge in this match is his lack of support in his team mate. JIMMY KIMMEL Smart tag there by Timothy Dalton who just can’t match Batista’s physicality. ADAM COROLLA Daniel Craig must have some solid iron rocks in those pants. MICHAEL SHANKS He’s not going toe to toe with the big guy but he’s still standing, and the consistent offense is taking its toll on Batista. ADAM COROLLA Did Tom Green just slap Batista’s back? JIMMY KIMMEL He *will* do anything for fame ladies and gentlemen. Anything. Including cattle. MICHAEL SHANKS The ref recognizes the tag ... Batista is furious! ADAM COROLLA Spear! Spear! Spear! ... Batista just destroyed Tom Green and he’s heading out of the ring. JIMMY KIMMEL Just like one of Michael’s prostitute’s, the official doesn’t know which way to turn. MICHAEL SHANKS He’s trying to count Batista out whilst giving Daniel Craig the pin ... that’s all she wrote folks! Rating: D- - Daniel Craig gets the pin. Tom Green can't wrestle. No one likes Batista. Post Match Interview http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c186aa44ff138ebe220c4c4b2ad557ad2g.jpg Michael Shanks approaches Daniel Craig in the arena with a pair of belts. MICHAEL SHANKS Timothy, Daniel ... you’re the first winners of the Dianetic Tag Team Honor titles ... how does it feel? TIMOTHY DALTON Feels fantastic Michael. DANIEL CRAIG .... MICHAEL SHANKS Daniel ... just a comment from the team, do you feel like you’re carrying the main weight of this team? We did notice you took most of the heat ... DANIEL CRAIG ... What happened happened. We won. That’s all that matters. Daniel Craig take his belt and begins walking back to the locker room. Dalton, who clearly wants more of the spot light hovers for a moment before jogging behind. Angle Rating: D http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/93357ce6919fd3f68bdbe7d9f623817f2g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ff018d788dc000620f4c3a23eeb6fd0f2g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS After last weeks action, Austin wanted another go at Chris Brown. JIMMY KIMMEL By the looks of things Chris Brown’s entrance will be longer than the match. ADAM COROLLA I’ve personally asked Rihanna about this, and apparently a lot of things are longer than Chris Brown. JIMMY KIMMEL Like what sort of things? ADAM COROLLA Well pencils, crayons, or even myself for example ... and I’m no Dirk Digler. Chris Brown Burial Rating: D - 3:36 squash match http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/63b6cb9308d3c4aa36d54eb72fef1ffd2g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/aacb479461c464644c4a25fe4f47c7732g.jpg ADAM COROLLA Interesting match up ... Adam Sandler, successful comedian and actor ... vs Hayden Christensen ... JIMMY KIMMEL One of the men who ruined Star Wars. George Lucas coming to the ring with him ... ADAM COROLLA At times like this I ask myself if it would be worth my life to attempt the assassination. MICHAEL SHANKS I don’t think there was much wrong with the new Star Wars series. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Michael, Stargate was much worse. The bell rings, we’re under way. This capcity crowd of Mexicans are still on their asses eating popcorn and nibbles. ADAM COROLLA Nice drop kick there from Sandler ... Striking a blow for Star Wars fans everywhere. MICHAEL SHANKS Hayden is really struggling to find his feet in this match up. Adam Sandler smashes Hayden’s face on an exposed turn buckle in time with his taunts. ADAM SANDLER This is for Jar Jar Binx, this is for Yoda, this is for the force ... and this is for Indiana Jones! Sandler leaps out the ring in an impressive but careless splash landing on the sizeable George Lucas with full impact. Sandler leaps to his feet, bashing his chest, saliva frothing from his mouth screaming abuse about various movie franchises. MICHAEL SHANKS The official, Colin Ferguson isn’t even counting. JIMMY KIMMEL Clearly he agrees with Adam Sandler’s description of the Star Wars franchise. Sandler finds a fold up chair and blatantly flogs Hayden in full view of the audience and officials till he is completely motionless. The audience are forced into silence, leaving the echoing fleshy sound of the chair smashing Hayden's seemingly lifeless corpse. ADAM COROLLA I haven’t felt this disturbed by violence since I last saw Schindler’s List. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, partner. Rating: D- http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/dac0eff58d62cb302f25416bdcdaa8042g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/0f0f12e645012fe930aa52a782ea9a642g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/fe40f4b375ea09da147fca9b63feaa252g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/81c550323798b9f8373a98966a5a9dda2g.jpg ADAM COROLLA This is what we’ve been waiting for folks ... MICHAEL SHANKS Degeneration X! JIMMY KIMMEL No, someone to finally punish Vin Diesel for the Fast and the Furious. MICHAEL SHANKS The bell rings. We’re under way. ADAM COROLLA Paul Walker’s offense really isn’t registering with Triple H here. Paul Walker bounces off the ropes and clashes repeatedly with Triple H’s chest. Walker stops and begins yelling at Triple H under the sound of the crowd. Vin Diesel face palms in his corner. Triple H calls for a microphone. TRIPLE H You expect us to lay down for you? You expect us to job for ... The Fast and the Curious? ... Paul and Diesel look at each other awkwardly. TRIPLE H If I wanted to lay down for a couple of nancies I would head to the local gay bar, I wouldn't enter a ring with you two ... SHAWN MICHAELS Can I borrow the mic a second ... ? Thanks. Folks ... The WWE lasted a long time. AUDIENCE What? SHAWN MICHAELS I loved the WWE ... it was my passion, my life ... the longest lasting TV show in history! AUDIENCE What?! SHAWN MICHAELS But it looks like this is the end of the road for the WWE ... and DX. I’ve jobbed to Cena, I’ve jobbed to Hogan, I’ve jobbed to Razor Ramon ... but I will never, ever job to a scientologist so help me God! I- The mic cuts off into silence. Michaels taps it a few times but no sound comes. Urged by Vince from Shamwow Arnold Schwarzenegger steps into the ring with John Travolta in tow. DX wait on them. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER You won’t job to them ... maybe you job to me like back in Wrestlemania in dah 90s? TRIPLE H You’re not a wrestler. You don’t even have a finishing move. Arnold and Triple H square off. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER I don’t need one. I am dah finisher. ADAM COROLLA You heard it folks, Schwarzenegger *is* the finisher. Arnold grins and a punch out begins. The Fast and the Curious, John Travolta and Schwarzenegger try to pile on DX. Triple H retreats, taking up a sledgehammer from beneath the ring using it wildly to keep the mob away from Shawn Michaels. The pair retreat down the runway with a camera shakily following as they reach the service corridor, Schwarzenegger signaling for the group to stand back. In the corridor a familiar face leaps from one of the doors. VINCE FROM SHAMWOW Hi, it’s Vince from Shamwow! I- Triple H unceremoniously rams the business end of his hammer into Vince’s groin. Vince falls to his knees, eyes bulging out of his head like silly putty. SHAWN MICHAELS What was that about? TRIPLE H I dunno! SHAWN MICHAELS Hammer turned out to be useful. TRIPLE H It’s made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Triple H kisses his hammer and the pair continue down the corridor. A hand roughly pushes the camera lens down and the image turns black. Rating: C- Ended in a draw. MICHAEL SHANKS Okay ... that was interesting. Moving on. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/5ffba456402de4ccac0f3e0640a236792g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/1d70f5de846f210c08b3682db43449d52g.jpg ADAM COROLLA The deadman vs the crazyman, Mel Gibson. MICHAEL SHANKS Any normal man would just lay down and let this happen, Adam, but not Mel - the man is truly out of his mind. JIMMY KIMMEL I notice Undertaker has undergone a bit of a costume change ... MICHAEL SHANKS He now prefers to be called ‘The Zion’, Jimmy, and has since turned to being a scientologist. ADAM COROLLA I remember the last time Undertaker did a gimmick change ... that whole biker thing. That was successful. MICHAEL SHANKS Gibson now going for his second tombstone in as many minutes. He seems to enjoy the abuse. ADAM COROLLA Well that would explain why he’s been married so many times. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Adam. Rating: C - Undertaker wins via Tombstone. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/91351cab2c6610f3b3b74ca2b4183a202g.jpgVShttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/a525514879011d64cf2e01bedc95441a2g.jpg TOM CRUISE Wrestling is fake ... We all know wrestling is fake. And you know I’ve had enough of these back stage roided freaks acting like we owe them something ... Acting like they’ve achieved something. I’m a multi million dollar asset. I’ve succeeded at everything I’ve ever wanted to do. See it’s all in your mind, and only a scientologist can influence these things. You want to take control? I’ll show you how to take control. Tom Cruise casually strips off his suit and stands in the ring. TOM CRUISE I know you’re all back there. I know you’re mad. I know you want a go at me. So I’m inviting any ex-wwe staff member to come down this runway and have a fight. Not a wrestling match, not a choreographed dance ... but a fight. Man-o-mano, one on one, to knock out, submission, or count. I want these people to see- William Regal’s music hits. He advances in silence down the runway. MICHAEL SHANKS He certainly looks happier than usual. ADAM COROLLA He does indeed look like there’s less weight in his pants. JIMMY KIMMEL You heard it folks, one on one, a real fight ... I think Tom Cruise is about to make his last on screen appearance. Regal prepares himself, stretching in his corner. MICHAEL SHANKS We’re underway! Regal shoots on Cruise, tackling him to the floor, assuming a rear mount. Cruise effectively guards, locking up a forearm. JIMMY KIMMEL Thirty seconds on the clock and things are looking rough for Cruise. ADAM COROLLA That’s longer than I thought he would last. Cruise uses Regal’s forearm for leverage to spin out and try to lock up the arm further. Regal snaps his shoulder forward hurling Tom to the mat. Regal tries to capitalize with a loose sleeper hold but only finds Cruise’s chin. MICHAEL SHANKS I think Regal really isn’t taking this seriously enough. Cruise twists and fights his way to his feet; flustered but standing confident. He hurls a few loose jabs, Regal batting them away with his larger hands. ADAM COROLLA I never thought Regal was a big guy but standing next to Cruise its like Gulliver’s travels all over again. The pair circle each other, Cruise still throwing cautionary strikes. MICHAEL SHANKS Cruise does have a background in fight training from his many movies, and his beliefs have yet to be proven wrong. Regal pulls a swift double leg take down, hurling huge hands into Cruise’s face. Blood splatters Tom’s mouth before he covers up. ADAM COROLLA It’s a fight folks! I’ve been in enough school yard scuffles to know tomato sauce when I see it! JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Adam. Cruise manages to escape Regal’s lazy but effective offense. Regal begins to become frustrated at his lack of headway. Regal begins throwing heavy handed swings battering Cruise into the corner. MICHAEL SHANKS I don’t think Cruise can take much more of this. He’s looking shaky. JIMMY KIMMEL Regal’s brought out the artillery. Slamming in the guns. Cruise manages to escape the corner, almost tripping over his legs. Regal shoots for the take down aggressively, turning himself into a raging fireball straight into Cruise’s outstretched ... knee. Regal’s falls in an unceremonious heap, rendered unconscious by his careless take down. Rating: C - Tom Cruise wins via the Thetan Bomb. Tom Cruise wins the Dianetics Honor Badge v#1. The audience is stunned into silence. So much so that Cruise’s girlish squeal of glee echoes around the arena. ADAM COROLLA Holy crap. JIMMY KIMMEL Pinch me. Adam Corolla pinches Jimmy’s ass. JIMMY KIMMEL Dear God ... that really just happened ... uhhh ... Apologies to Matt Damon, just like William Regal we’re out of time ... I’m Jimmy Kimmel. ADAM COROLLA I’m Adam Corolla MICHAEL SHANKS And- JIMMY KIMMEL AND ADAM COROLLA No one cares about star gate. Good night! Show Rating: C-. We're more popular in Mexico! =================================================== Will add up points later. Will give half points for when the finish isn't quite right but is sorta right. For all intents and purposes Randy Orton is Tom Green since Randy legitimately died a few days before the match. RIP. May need cleaning up and some grammar fixes and such; still getting used to stuffs. The last segment signals a bit of a product change but hopefully its not too bad! My goals: - Get Steven Seagal over no matter the cost. - Hire Chuck Norris. - See how quickly I can spend all of Tom Cruise's monies. - Once I get below about $50, 000 try to stop the company from going bankrupt. - Change my product tonnes Possible next goals are ... - Hire all the *****cat Dolls and fix up my women's division - Try to make Lindsay Lohan usable - Get Mickey Rourke and make him awesome - Try to hire Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert Any suggestions are welcome no matter how ludicrous - though am mostly messing about for personal reasons. The data now has over 400 celebs in it, so chances are if you suggest something dumb it may be possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHK1978 Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Oh this was a classic! Where did you get the idea to make Michael Shanks an announcer? And the fact that he played straight man to Adam and Jimmy was awsome. I would like to see more Shatner, I don't care how you do it as long as you make it so. In fact if Shatner is a wrestler, I would love to see him vs. Patrick Stewart in a cage match. Also, where was Epic Beard Man? I know he is in the mod so I think he would be a great addition to your roster as well. Finally, Shamwow Vince should get more air time. I know he is your road agent but there is so much comedy gold with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 10, 2010 Author Share Posted June 10, 2010 Oh this was a classic! Where did you get the idea to make Michael Shanks an announcer? And the fact that he played straight man to Adam and Jimmy was awsome. I would like to see more Shatner, I don't care how you do it as long as you make it so. In fact if Shatner is a wrestler, I would love to see him vs. Patrick Stewart in a cage match. Also, where was Epic Beard Man? I know he is in the mod so I think he would be a great addition to your roster as well. Finally, Shamwow Vince should get more air time. I know he is your road agent but there is so much comedy gold with him. Pleased it amused. Michael Shanks just makes sense as an announcer - more so than a wrestler or anything else. Shatner can wrestle but am not sure if he will. It's not a usual position for him. Patrick Stewart is pretty hard to pick up for me at the moment. Epic Beard Man is around but not sure he would fit in with Dianetics story at the moment, but am considering digging him up. Vince will be kicking around for a while - I might be having some issues with Michael Shanks so he could fill in that spot a tiny little. Will post up rosters/company info and next weeks matches today or tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 Sorry this is late! Posting about some of the areas in the game world and just giving some background. This isn't close to all of the promotions in the game world, but it gives a good slice of America. Maybe I'll elaborate on the UK, Mexican and Europe side of things a bit later. Australia is still a long way from finished and won't appear too much in this diary. Promotions Action Heroes Alliance http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/50e39483487767f390ac66e63a63dd822g.jpg Action Heroes Alliance, or AHA! for short, was started by Sylvester Stallone when he realized wrestling required even less scripting and story in between fight scenes. Morgan Freeman soon signed up to the organization to narrate in between matches. The alliance has an over the top roster of has-beens and will-bes ready to duke it out in front of over the top pyro stages for the audience's enjoyment. They are angling to be the number one org in the world in under a year. The Johnny Depp Experience http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/d3bd6fd9fa614c72c815c6dcf0bbf67e2g.jpg JDE was formed after Johnny Depp had a night on the piss with Joaquin Phoenix. The pair formed the wrestling fed as some kind of awkward art project that, against all odds, proved ludicrously successful. Started humbly in Great Lakes USA, the pair ran Fight Club style displays charging punters to see them punch each other in the face. Soon other stars began joining in the charade and no one has complained since. Dianetic Combat http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/77f93588a52aa802cb69d5d656363dc82g.jpg The org that started it all ... Dianetic Combat was originally known as WWE until Tom Cruise approached Vince McMahon with an offer he couldn't refuse as well as a satisfying drop kick. Designed as an answer to the corrupt and drug ridden wrestling industry, Tom feels he can reach out to the American masses and make a real change with the newly purchased production and his belief in Scientology. However, with the majority of the roster having suffered various public relations set backs, and Cruise's eagerness to spend and reluctance to drop a title things may look bleak. The promotion is also well known for its Narconon drug policy; with Cruise insisting that all wrestlers show up for a sound rubber gloving session before every match overseen by himself and John Travolta. Narconon Dianetic Combat's child organization is where unsuccessful drug ridden wrestlers are sent to read good and do other things good, too. Suicide Girls http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/8d105aa4d1699615dc2cb1f9d65634c32g.jpg Suicide Girls burst onto the scene with a big roster. A giant roster if you will. A roster that makes mainstream wrestling look small. The group soon buckled under the weight of having so many performers and not enough story lines to follow, and at one stage almost went out of business. The good news, there's a massive amount of just fired female wrestlers for everyone else. The bad news, the SG group are on the ropes and struggling to keep their heavy hitters. The SG group puts emphasis on the safety of its workers over all else. The Biggest Loser http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/69f34378ef10d9e6a8fefa166d1208482g.jpg Only accepting the most obese athletes and cases of impure health, The Biggest Loser is a violent parody of its own reality show. Currently playing as an almost stage show, the Playboy Network refused Jillian Michaels the funds to create her master piece of waddling large people humiliating themselves in a large cage. Jillian is sure it will catch on eventually and is stocking up on jelly and mud for when it goes big. So You Think You Can Wrestle?! http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/7e951f87e983705e246a5dbe4555bb362g.jpg After retiring from his various reality experiments and shows Simon Cowell needed a new hobby which involved berating people and preferably violence. After a late night meeting with Paula Abdul the pair have created STW, the latest evolution in reality entertainment. The show revolves around taking celebrities couldn't out work the Ultimate Warrior and having them do battle in hilarious contests constructed of fail and held together with the tight ropes of the wrestling ring. Critics have called it the greatest thing since William Hung. Jackass Productions http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/051fa7df5abfb03ae3d6a66fa61fab5c2g.jpg "So you think you're hardcore?! ... well ... you're not." It was thought that Chris Pontius's wrestling debut came and went without a splash ... without a splash it may have been but there a ripple over the surface of the Jackass crew which has now turned into Jackass Productions wrestling. The roster consists of the usual tight knit crew and the odd guest star in a touring organisation. The Springer Society http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/4c769665473aca820f22da1dc849ce552g.jpg The Jerry Springer Society emphasizes that the best way of resolving their issues is a clean conscience, a good conversation, and a fold up chair. Perhaps the oddest promotion ever invented, it was once noted that a show went on for 72 minutes before having its first match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMAN Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 This mod actually looks fun and original, and the cuts go with it. I kinda wish it was just pure celebs/musicians, would be cool to see some real life feuds go down in a TEW diary. Or dream matches like chuck norris and arnold... The other promotions make sense too. I'd like to see how Springer and Jack Ass would go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 SPOILERS?! ... Probably not really spoilers but maybe. The final version that will be released will be pure celebs and no wrestlers apart from maybe Hulk Hogan being a road agent. There's seven WWE stars in the mod just now, but they will be removed when I'm finished. My diary is the story of how some of the events happened that created the game world and to explain where all the wrestlers went. Thanks for the feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 Minor card changes may take place but this is what it looks like! Prelim Card for Dianetics III License 2 Kill (Daniel Craig and Timothy Dalton) vs.Werden Wir Litauen uberfallen?! (David Hasselhoff and Dolph Lundgerhan) The Fast and the Curious (Vin Diesel and Paul Walker) vs.The Luls (Robin Williams and Jason Lee) Adam Sandler vs.Tom Green Chris Brown vs.Team PAIN (The Undertaker, Tom Cruise, Steven Seagal, and Jean Claude Van Damme) Degeneration X vs. John Travolta and Arnold Schwarzenegger Mel Gibson vs.William Regal Will add up prediction points after Dianetics 4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHK1978 Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 License 2 Kill (Daniel Craig and Timothy Dalton) vs.Werden Wir Litauen uberfallen?! (David Hasselhoff and Dolph Lundgerhan) As awsome as team Bond is, nothing can beat Hasselhoff....NOTHING! The Fast and the Curious (Vin Diesel and Paul Walker) vs.The Luls (Robin Williams and Jason Lee) Not sure how good Robin Williams could possibly be. He could annoy Vin and Paul into the loss but who knows. Adam Sandler vs.Tom Green Chris Brown vs.Team PAIN (The Undertaker, Tom Cruise, Steven Seagal, and Jean Claude Van Damme) If you have Steven Seagal on a team they have to win. Degeneration X vs. John Travolta and Arnold Schwarzenegger Mel Gibson vs.William Regal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg McNeish Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Jeez, man. What has Chris Brown ever done to deserve this kind of treatmen- Oh. Never mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMAN Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 License 2 Kill (Daniel Craig and Timothy Dalton) vs.Werden Wir Litauen uberfallen?! (David Hasselhoff and Dolph Lundgerhan) The Fast and the Curious (Vin Diesel and Paul Walker) vs.The Luls (Robin Williams and Jason Lee) I hate those car movies. Williams and Lee should start up a Kevin Smith stable! I am surprised to see Williams going at this age though. Pictured him as more of a manager. Adam Sandler vs.Tom Green Sandler is over rated. Chris Brown vs.Team PAIN (The Undertaker, Tom Cruise, Steven Seagal, and Jean Claude Van Damme) Jesus Degeneration X vs. John Travolta and Arnold Schwarzenegger Im a terminator mark Mel Gibson vs.William Regal if you ever need help with the mod, holla Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/d36412b7bf81a50cbd3b53714a1c791b2g.jpg Just doing this weeks show write up and noticed that Gary Busey has joined the Springer Society. Never has there been a more fitting signing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 DIANETICS III - Quantum of Fail Smoke machines and pyro light up the main stage. Performers spiral down from the ceiling writing rhythmically above the audience. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ad86c9a45ab0b1f11eee31c2ea2383bd2g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/f39faba39bd340e6f4dd90b61c28c8a62g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c186aa44ff138ebe220c4c4b2ad557ad2g.jpg ADAM COROLLA Welcome to Monday night Dianetics, I’m Adam Corolla. JIMMY KIMMEL I’m Jimmy Kimmel. MICHAEL SHANKS And- ADAM COROLLA AND JIMMY KIMMEL No one cares about star gate. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/a7e820ad37676a76448b273906528d212g.jpg JIMMY KIMMEL Unfortunately William Shatner couldn’t make it this week as he had other commitments mostly involving drinking. ADAM COROLLA So unfortunately, you’re going to have to sit through Pink ladies and gentlemen. Pink performs ‘Get This Party Started’. ADAM COROLLA Somehow Pink never struck me as the scientologist type. I have to say, my dreams are punctured and I’m disappointed. MICHAEL SHANKS Actually, Pink is a close personal friend of Lisa Marie Presley, and agreed to be on the show at her request. JIMMY KIMMEL Great! I was starting to think she was a loser. ADAM COROLLA She is much shorter in real life ... about the same size as Mel Gibson. This isn’t helping my erectile dysfunction. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, partner. Pink Performance Rating: B+ http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/5ccf94dfe1604ca7511932abf097c1622g.jpg Tom Cruise appears in the ring whilst everyone is distracted. He abruptly calls for the music to be halted, awkwardly leaving Pink dangling 30ft above the arena. TOM CRUISE Okay. Okay. Cut the music. Now I want everyone ... everyone who put a sub standard performance on the last few weeks to get out here. Daniel Craig, Ben Affleck, Paul Walker, Tom Green and Vin Diesel appear on the stage. TOM CRUISE Everyone. Come on. Everyone. Steve Austin and The Undertaker join the group. TOM CRUISE EVERYONE. Finally Steven Seagal enters from side stage. JIMMY KIMMEL I think Steven Seagal might be frowning ... ADAM COROLLA It’s hard to tell given his face never changes ... he has in fact mastered the ancient Japanese art of looking pissed off. TOM CRUISE Now all of you ... you think you’re so hot ... you think you’re all that ... well ... you’re not! ADAM COROLLA A scathing commentary from the owner of Dianetics Combat here. JIMMY KIMMEL I’m positively quaking, partner. TOM CRUISE It’s time to get your act together. It’s time to show people what scientology is about. If you can’t get up, if you can’t keep up with that, then get out of the kitchen. Steve Austin turns and begins to walk away, kicking over part of the set as he leaves. TOM CRUISE (CONT’D) See. See! There’s one man thats decided its all too much for him. Who’s next? ... No one? ... Mmm ... So you all have what it takes? The Undertaker sighs impatiently. Steven Seagal continues staring at the floor. TOM CRUISE (CONT’D) I don’t know what you’re frowning at Seagal! Actually, effective of now, you better start impressing me or you’re back to no selling in Under Seige 3. Cruise Rant Rating: B+ http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/669bd912220e00e11a4aa989d30cea232g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/27f9ecd04a595ece2e13a5fbbd3fedc82g.jpg VS.http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/479adf8694b552983f67fe93d2417c132g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/fb40b1eb1b3b4a7416dfb6a8be132cfa2g.jpg JIMMY KIMMEL Well that was awkward. MICHAEL SHANKS Tom does have a valid point. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are, Star Gate, you’re letting down the team. DOLPH LUNDGERHAN (OFF SCREEN) If he dies ... he dies ... Red pyros flare up, David Hasselhoff and Dolph Lundgerhan step onto the entrance ramp. JIMMY KIMMEL Wow. ADAM COROLLA I think my erectile dysfunction is cured ... this is the most epic thing since ... well ... the last time my dysfunction was cured. MICHAEL SHANKS They’re a recently formed tag team known as ... Werden wir Litauen uberfallen? JIMMY KIMMEL Werden wir Lit-tune ... uberfallen?? MICHAEL SHANKS It means ... Shall we invade Lithuania. They’re starting off with Monday Night Dianetics ... ADAM COROLLA Well hopefully they get to Lithuania soon ... The team reach the ring where License to Kill are already waiting. The bell rings with Daniel Craig taking first tag against Lundgerhan. Timothy Dalton stops to take a drink from his water bottle as Daniel Craig stretches out in his suit. Dolph Lundgerhan advances on the unprepared team, slapping Dalton’s water bottle off into the audience. DOLPH LUNDERGHAN Hast du durst,dann trink von meiner wurst! JIMMY KIMMEL And with that we’re under way ladies and gentlemen MICHAEL SHANKS Daniel Craig not shying away from this confrontation - leaping to the defense of his partner. ADAM COROLLA Dolph Lundgerhan matching the intelligence of Craig’s defense ... he is brutally catching fists with his face in an effort to tire the Swedish giant ... MICHAEL SHANKS Lundgerhan actually has a degree in biochemistry. JIMMY KIMMEL But right now he’s using his degree in kicking ass. ADAM COROLLA Daniel Craig is reaching for his partner here ... so far all Hasselhoff has had to do is show his vaseline slathered chest to the ladies. This could be a short night. MICHAEL SHANKS Especially with that declaration from Cruise earlier this evening that and last week ... Dianetics is now a full contact sport. Dalton reaches out to tag his struggling partner, Craig’s arm flails to reach for the finger tips but finds nothing but air. Dalton gives a faux sympathetic look - pulling his arm back before casually dropping down to ring side. Dolph pauses for a moment, looking confused. MICHAEL SHANKS (CONT’D) And where is Dalton going? ADAM COROLLA With doubts being cast on their partnership you have to wonder if this is the best time to go for a light stroll. Dalton takes up a right side seat, pulling on a head set and mic. Dolph attempts to choke Craig out in a vicious sleeper. Craig’s eyes bulge, his face veins pumping gallons of blood to his brain to try and compensate. TIMOTHY DALTON Good evening! JIMMY KIMMEL Good evening Timmy, welcome to the show. I’m Jimmy, this is Adam ... The group shake hands and introduce. MICHAEL SHANKS Shouldn’t you be ... you know ... Helping your partner? Lundgerhan lets Craig flop to the floor and tags in Hasselhoff. Hasselhoff begins work him with a slow brawling style. TIMOTHY DALTON Well I just wanted to finish our interview from last week which Daniel rudely interrupted. MICHAEL SHANKS Well you have to say that so far Daniel Craig has been the main reason for your teams success. TIMOTHY DALTON Daniel has his place ... you know he has ... balls. Great big balls. But it’s not just about the balls ... ADAM COROLLA Yeah, I was always told it was mainly to do with the sha- TIMOTHY DALTON You see Daniel ... he has the brawn and the brute, but I wasn’t James Bond because I was strong or threw the best punch ... I was James Bond because I used this. JIMMY KIMMEL Your mustache? TIMOTHY DALTON My brain Jimmy! My brain! MICHAEL SHANKS Well it seems your brain is going to lose this match up. Daniel Craig clambers around at the turn buckle, trying to lift his bloodied form to his feet. Hasselhoff hovers around the outside of his reach as Craig hurls a few way ward hay makers. JIMMY KIMMEL Still a dangerous individual, even when almost defeated is Craig ... TIMOTHY DALTON I could win this at any moment. Any moment I wanted to. MICHAEL SHANKS I’d say you have less than a minute. Timothy Dalton looks determinedly at the scene, sizing things up from the announce desk. He squirms underneath the chair and begins undoing his belt. ADAM COROLLA This could be going south quite quickly. TIMOTHY DALTON What is it you kids say these days ... b ... r ... b? Dalton stands up briskly and casually wanders to Dolph Lundgerhan’s corner. He snaps his belt around a single ankle of the Swedish body builder quickly tightening the leather strap to the turn buckle. Dolph notices a moment too late; Dalton already on his way to the other side of the arena taking a fold up chair in one hand. He jumps into his corner, slapping Daniel Craig on the back of the head and strutting into the ring. Hasselhoff takes a step back. The referee, Colin Ferguson, waves his hands urging Dalton not to use the chair. The crowd go silent awaiting the impending disqualification ... Dalton raises the chair above his head, Hasselhoff cowers behind his arms waiting on the stiff strike ... Hasselhoff, visionless behind his guard, soon finds Dalton wrapped around his throat like a firm string of silly putty - expensive suited legs clasping his waist in a rear naked choke. Dolph is enraged, lacking the flexibility to reach his own bound ankle. Hasselhoff arm is raised and drops three times. Craig is still struggling to compose himself as the referee calls for the bell. Match Rating: D http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/dac0eff58d62cb302f25416bdcdaa8042g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/0f0f12e645012fe930aa52a782ea9a642g.jpgVS.http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/5d718219171a5b9d51af483a3227f5512g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/32b7a78968ef39fa48704b596e6fb5542g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS Unconventional, but undoubtedly proving his point ... Dalton makes a win of L2K. JIMMY KIMMEL Coming up next ... The Luls take on The Fast and the Curious. ADAM COROLLA One has to wonder if Robin Williams takes anything he does seriously at all ... he’s coming to the ring dressed as the pope. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are partner, and Vin Diesal has had enough and is unleashing some blessings of his own. MICHAEL SHANKS This beat down must certainly be driven by the frustrations from last week. ADAM COROLLA A double team move ... that ... I don’t really want to describe. MICHAEL SHANKS I was talking to the pair earlier on the locker room, and they call that the Freshmaker. JIMMY KIMMEL The locker room ... I’m sure they show that move to your perosnally Michael. Match Rating: C- Diesel off his game. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/21f1bb6912a6a977446ca9293a2e92992g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/38742450471d711665d3851d651128c42g.jpgVS.http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c6279aa509ba4c03748dd16d626f41ab2g.jpg ADAM COROLLA The half time entertainment match so to speak. Debut Suicide Girl Mz Dusty vs Lisa Marie Presley and Juliette Lewis. JIMMY KIMMEL Debut she has indeed ... pinned in 5:54 in this three way match gone handicap ... Match Rating: D+ http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/fe40f4b375ea09da147fca9b63feaa252g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/81c550323798b9f8373a98966a5a9dda2g.jpgVS.http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/749d4d12b6a0bf6b9f00e092aa8a27852g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/b4461dc6ee409a191f91a4f537bf8ea92g.jpg ADAM COROLLA This has to be the match of the night ... JIMMY KIMMEL Epic entrances here ... Arnold “The Finisher” Schwarzenegger and John Travolta vs Degeneration X. ADAM COROLLA Am I the only one that finds it awkward that Triple H spits all over himself at the start of every match? MICHAEL SHANKS It does seem unhygenic. JIMMY KIMMEL But oh so manly ... The bell goes, we’re under way ... Arnold and Triple H race towards one another, locking up. Muscles rippled and tightening, jockeying for position. A yellow towel is thrown into the ring, the official waves his arms for the bell. MICHAEL SHANKS It appears someone has thrown in the towel. JIMMY KIMMEL That’s no towel, Michael. Vince from Shamwow is talking to the official. Match Rating: B- ... 4 minutes to DQ http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/c48c7628b97f0b6387af05bb3c01230d2g.jpg Vince from Shamwow takes a mic, and begins speaking with Arnold and Travolta standing in defense. VINCE FROM SHAMWOW Sorry guys. Sorry. Are you getting this camera guy? Good cos its time for a little clean up. You know I was talking to Tom, and there’s some vacancies down the mailing department. You guys are still under contract, so why aren’t you sorting Vince’s mail? You know this is a complex business, Shamwow sells itself, the mail room needs a bit more work. Go on get out of here. Go on. Don’t look at me like that Triple H, am just doing my job now get sorting my mail. Triple H and Schwarzenegger stare off at each other. Michaels can be heard audibly swearing as he jumps off the edge of the ring. It appears as if DX have had enough and are heading back stage. Segment rating: C http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/aacb479461c464644c4a25fe4f47c7732g.jpgVS.http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/b26b421906013f799dfbc7d76a33369c2g.jpg Tom Green and Adam Sandler take to the ring. They eye each other off for a moment. TOM GREEN You know, Adam ... I’ve always been a great admirer of your work. ADAM SANDLER And I, yours ... I loved it went you took that udder to the mouth. Truly genius. TOM GREEN So tonight, am challenging you to a special type of match ... ADAM SANDLER It sounds truly terrifying. TOM GREEN Note there are three caskets! ADAM SANDLER I count them. Three. TOM GREEN In this one ... Dramatic lights bathe the threatening structure. TOM GREEN (CONT’D) We have reruns of Sienfeld TOM GREEN (CONT’D) In this one ... we have Freddy Got Fingered! .... Tom steps into the centre of the ring, showing the largest of the three structures. TOM GREEN (CONT’D) And in here we have the greatest punishment of all. Your own work Sandler, your very own opus ... the steaming pile of recycled body matter that is ... Fifty First Dates ... I call this ... The Sienfeld casket match ... and you will taste your own pain. ADAM SANDLER Dear God ... The horror. Adam picks up the nearest object which happens to be an elderly member of the crowd and hurls it Tom Green. What ensues is the most ludicrous shouting match. Segment Rating: C MICHAEL SHANKS Does this count as an official match? ADAM COROLLA I’m not really sure anyone cares at this stage ... its been almost nine minutes and for at least six of them I’ve been watching Adam Sandler ride Tom Green like a pony. ADAM SANDLER This is for your cancer special, this is for bring Monica Lewinski to Canada, this is for Tonsil Hockey, this is for being on Hell’s Kitchen, and this ... this is for Charlie’s Angels. JIMMY KIMMEL It appears as though Adam has used every foreign object available in this match including the elderly, a rubber chicken, and a jar of peanut butter ... Adam finally locks the peanut butter slathered Tom in the Freddy Got Fingered casket. ADAM SANDLER Taste the horror of your own reflection! MICHAEL SHANKS One has to wonder how far Adam Sandler’s rage will carry him on Dianetics. As Dalton has proven this very show, its not all about- ADAM COROLLA I don’t know what just happened, but I’m pleased I only have to watch this once. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are partner. Rating: C - very little flow due to poor psychology http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/749d4d12b6a0bf6b9f00e092aa8a27852g.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ff018d788dc000620f4c3a23eeb6fd0f2g.jpg John Travolta enters, wandering past a puffed out Sandler and a whimpering Tom Green inside a large casket. He looks bemused if not baffled. He steps into the ring and takes up a mic. JOHN TRAVOLTA Chris. Chris Brown. Are you back there? Chris Brown steps onto the entrance ramp peering around nervously. JOHN TRAVOLTA (CONT’D) Remember when we first hired you, we said we had big things in mind for you? We have here, the very first, Dianetics Hardcore badge of honor. We’d like you to hold it. Chris Brown warily enters the ring to one of his own hideous tunes. Travolta hands the title to Brown and shakes his hand. Travolta joins Brown in clapping as brown raises the title. JOHN TRAVOLTA (CONT’D) We’d like you to hold it ... while Jean Claude Van Damme, Ben Affleck, Steven Seagal and- Tom Cruise sneaks up on Brown in between Travolta talking. He slithers into the ring on his stomach before extending into a flying knee. Competitors race in from all directions. JOHN TRAVOLTA (CONT’D) This is the first Narconon punshiment match ... No DQs gentlemen. The winner will be by audience vote the one who punishes Chris Brown the best. Enjoy and good luck. Segment Rating: B- http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/4d9dde6645df02c4fcb507a3e6c370da2g.jpg VS.http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/aed9e7e6b614ce783d7a8f5b67e5051d2g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS Now, Affleck and Cruise are only here to hold Brown down ... Seagal up first, he’s asking Cruise and Affleck to release the prey ... Seagal executes a series of expert throws, hurling Chris Brown to the floor each time he tries to find an escape at ring side. JIMMY KIMMEL Jean Claude now ... Van Damme hurls himself in the air repeatedly hitting expert spin kick after expert spin kick, his cheeks tremoring as he roars in French. ADAM COROLLA It’s like seeing the end of Kick Boxer in first person ... it brings a tear to my eye. MICHAEL SHANKS And how can Seagal beat that? ... JIMMY KIMMEL Van Damme looking confident and he has every right to be after that performance. ADAM COROLLA Either Seagal has entered a meditative state or he has run out of options. JIMMY KIMMEL It is really hard to tell with that stoic facial expression. It’s not a well known fact, but scenes with Seagal in Executive Decision where actually filmed using only a piece of wood with a smiley face on it. Seagal’s eyes flare with rage, summoning the enternal fire and wisdom of his decades of learning at the feet of his old master .... He snaps on the dangerous nipple cripple. Chris Brown’s eyes stream with tears. ADAM COROLLA That will wake you up in the morning folks. Van Damme looks amused as the pair swap positions once more. His next display a dizzying array of kicks and strikes. By dizzying it means the same three kicks over and over again with a few ballet style leaps. Seagal, sensing he may be out down, begins contemplating. Cruise and Affleck set up Chris Brown for Seagal’s final attempt. After several moments consulting the martial arts masters of the universe Seagal simply spins and slams a fist into Chris Browns vulnerable genitals. Adam Corolla stands in ovation. ADAM COROLLA (CONT’D) This is beautiful. This is truly the greatest moment of my life. MICHAEL SHANKS We’ll collate the votes and have them to you next week. Rating: C- Chris Brown is improving in performance skills and the crowd hate him http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/e9905ff51d8b4ecf496267ecb75763252g.jpg Back stage ... Kanye West and Vince the Shamwow guy go about finding him a room. VINCE FROM SHAMWOW The only people who have access to this room are the other performers, you’ll be totally safe in here, mister West. The security cameras were made in Boliva, so its not exactly German but they make some pretty good stuff. Kanye is lead into a luxurious room filled with champagne, warm blankets and all the trimmings. Kanye spins on his heel, adjusting his entirely pointless shades. KANYE WEST Oh yeah. This is more like it. VINCE FROM SHAMWOW Mister Cruise sends his apologies for last week. Enjoy your night mister West. KANYE WEST You know what this place needs? This place needs some fur up in here. I mean- A bottle splashes glass over Kanye’s skull and he unceremoniously falls to the floor. Pink is revealed wearing her P.E.T.A tee shirt. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/a7e820ad37676a76448b273906528d212g.jpg Rating: C+ http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/91351cab2c6610f3b3b74ca2b4183a202g.jpg William Regal is waiting in the ring with a microphone. MICHAEL SHANKS Regal isn’t scheduled to be out here, and after last weeks match against Cruise you would have to say he is hurting right now. WILLIAM REGAL You scientologists. You got lucky last week. You caught me off guard. But for years I worked in the carnival circuit ... ADAM COROLLA As the bearded lady? WILLIAM REGAL ... I used to take all challengers. So I’m going to give the same challenge I used to give back then. Any one of you can come out here and face me, one on one. First blood or knock out. ADAM COROLLA I can only this of two men crazy enough to step up to this challenge, and one of them is watching reruns of his own show. Rating: C+ Mel Gibson wanders out to the front of the arena casually. He takes a microphone and ponders for a moment before shrugging and hurling it to one side and racing to the ring. http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/1d70f5de846f210c08b3682db43449d52g.jpg Rating: B- http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/1d70f5de846f210c08b3682db43449d52g.jpgVS.http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/91351cab2c6610f3b3b74ca2b4183a202g.jpg MICHAEL SHANKS William Regal has size advantage here ... ADAM COROLLA And Mel Gibson has crazy advantage ... JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are partner, he’s tearing at Regal’s forehead with his teeth. ADAM COROLLA This reminds me of Vietnam. MICHAEL SHANKS You were in the Vietnam war ...? ADAM COROLLA No, but I once saw a midget bite a giant there. MICHAEL SHANKS That’s somewhat disrespectful to veterans. ADAM COROLLA Which sounds nothing like ‘We Were Soldiers.’ JIMMY KIMMEL Or speaking of disrespecting cultural heritage, the Scottish. ADAM COROLLA Braveheart was indeed about as historically accurate as my first year history paper on Mother Theresa joining Metallica. JIMMY KIMMEL Right you are partner. Rating: B- Gibson wins Overall Rating: B- - Used Jean Claude Van Damme far too much on this show apparently! --------------------------------------------------------- Thinking of getting rid of Lisa Marie and Juliette Lewis. No idea what to do with them. Might post my thoughts a bit later on who I might be trying to get to replace them. Might just job them out till their contracts run dry. Also need to consider replacing Schwarzenegger and Travolta before they both retire, so keeping an eye out who to put over them. Kudos to the folks that write diaries regularly and keep them consistent and entertaining ... Am never going to be one of those people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinke Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 In Other News Batista Fired for Steroid Abuse http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/15d676d6a9fd4ff93ec4cc41cc99b26f2g.jpg Whilst a spokes person for Batista couldn't be reached he was found outside of a camping trailer. He stated that he couldn't believe he was being treated like this, and that the dangers of steroids are over exaggerated. He also stated that he would be counter suing Dianetic Combat over the rubber gloving incident. Bruce Campbell Joins So You Think You Can Wrestle http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/943c740984f18e56b725b53a217342b22g.jpg Bruce Campbell joined the roster of STW this morning. When asked if he thought he could wrestle he said, "I don't know ... probably!" Gary Busey joins the Jerry Springer Society http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/d36412b7bf81a50cbd3b53714a1c791b2g.jpg Jerry Springer was reported to be pleased with the recent signing, and Gary himself stated it would add to his current hobbies which include hunting raccoons with hand grenades and abusing members of the public at random. Stallone Injured by Rogue Llama http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/1675f5cc0e6221c46dfda8b50e555c862g.jpg It has been reported that Sylvester Stallone was injured in an incident with a llama. No one knows what he was doing with the animal, but on lookers stated it didn't look like they were friends. Profile of the Week http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/26daaa23177964d9b1aba3a0ed2938ce2g.jpg Laurence Fishburne believed for a long time that he was held back by the gap in his front teeth. Scientists have since decided this is unlikely and instead believe he has been held back due to Samuel Jackson's existence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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