SWF: Sunday Nights Counting Lights - The Continuing Saga of KP Avatar

Rickymex · July 11, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Phantom Stranger" data-cite="Phantom Stranger" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>SWF Welcome to the Jungle Minute Maid Park (Texas, Mid-South) Saturday, August 17, 2013 (Week 2) Darryl Devine vs Mikey James vs Spencer Spade © - Standard Match for SWF Shooting Star title (PRE-SHOW) ????? vs Marat Khoklov - Five-Minute Challenge (PRE-SHOW) Jack Giedroyc vs Eric Eisen - Tables Match Randy Bumfhole vs The Zim - Best Two of Three Tables Match Lobster Warrior vs Koshiro Ino - Standard Match for vacant SWF United States title Hero Squad © vs 24/7 Partay Dudez - Standard Match for SWF Tag Team titles Vengeance vs Brandon James - Ladder Match for James' Nothing to Lose Briefcase Valiant © vs Des Davids vs John Greed - Chairs Match for SWF North American title Christian Faith vs Remo - Standard Number One Contender Match for SWF World Heavyweight title Jack Bruce © vs Steve Frehley - Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match for SWF World Heavyweight title Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money © - Standard Match for SWF Supreme Heavyweight title, stablemates/managers banned from ringside SWF Uprising Abe Lemons Arena (Oklahoma, Mid-South) Sunday, August 18, 2013 (Week 2) Adrian Noelson and Ashton Barnaby vs 24/7 Partay Dudez (c?) The Cali Dragons vs The Eisen Entourage Frederique Antonio Garcia vs Spencer Spade (c?) High Concept vs ?????? The Awesomeness vs Biggz in Japan Joshua Taylor vs Squeeky McClean Lobster Warrior (c?) vs Koshiro Ino (c?) - SWF United States title rematch Bonus Question #1 - Who will Marat Khoklov's mystery opponent(s) be in the pre-show Five-Minute Challenge? (Could either be one man or a tag team) Kirk Jameson Bonus Question #2 - Looks like The Awesomeness are turning heel very soon. Who will their new manager be? (CLUE - ex-TCW or USPW, not Karen Killer.) Floyd Goldworthy</div></blockquote> I'll second Phantom

Psycho Sam · July 11, 2013

Now in smily green. <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

SWF Welcome to the Jungle

Minute Maid Park (Texas, Mid-South)

Saturday, August 17, 2013 (Week 2)

Darryl Devine vs Mikey James vs Spencer Spade © - Standard Match for SWF Shooting Star title (PRE-SHOW)

The Psychedlic Soul Brotherz vs Marat Khoklov - Five-Minute Challenge (PRE-SHOW)

Jack Giedroyc vs Eric Eisen - Tables Match

Randy Bumfhole vs The Zim - Best Two of Three Tables Match

Lobster Warrior vs Koshiro Ino- Standard Match for vacant SWF United States title

Hero Squad © vs 24/7 Partay Dudez - Standard Match for SWF Tag Team titles

Vengeance vs Brandon James - Ladder Match for James' Nothing to Lose Briefcase

Valiant © vs Des Davids vs John Greed - Chairs Match for SWF North American title

Christian Faith vs Remo - Standard Number One Contender Match for SWF World Heavyweight title

Jack Bruce © vs Steve Frehley - Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match for SWF World Heavyweight title

Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money © - Standard Match for SWF Supreme Heavyweight title, stablemates/managers banned from ringside

SWF Uprising

Abe Lemons Arena (Oklahoma, Mid-South)

Sunday, August 18, 2013 (Week 2)

Adrian Noelson and Ashton Barnaby vs 24/7 Partay Dudez (c?)

The Cali Dragons vs The Eisen Entourage

Frederique Antonio Garcia vs Spencer Spade (c?)

High Concept vs The Parts Unknown

The Awesomeness vs Biggz in Japan

Joshua Taylor vs Squeeky McClean

Lobster Warrior (c?) vs Koshiro Ino (c?) - SWF United States title rematch

Bonus Question #1 - Who will Marat Khoklov's mystery opponent(s) be in the pre-show Five-Minute Challenge? (Could either be one man or a tag team)

The Psychedelic Soul Brothers

Bonus Question #2 - Looks like The Awesomeness are turning heel very soon. Who will their new manager be? (CLUE - ex-TCW or USPW, not Karen Killer.)

Tiffany Jade

Eidenhoek · July 12, 2013

Well, as if my opinion matters, but I don't like anti-race gimmicks like Steve's. Meh. Guess I'm not...Cult enough? Risque enough? /shrug

Oh, and Frehley never said "I Quit." Technically.

<_<

>_>

WEEK-LONG I QUIT MATCH YEAH!

Midnightnick · July 12, 2013

Darryl Devine vs Mikey James vs Spencer Spade © - Standard Match for SWF Shooting Star title (PRE-SHOW)

????? vs Marat Khoklov - Five-Minute Challenge (PRE-SHOW)

Jack Giedroyc vs Eric Eisen - Tables Match

Randy Bumfhole vs The Zim - Best Two of Three Tables Match

Lobster Warrior vs Koshiro Ino - Standard Match for vacant SWF United States title

Hero Squad © vs 24/7 Partay Dudez - Standard Match for SWF Tag Team titles

Vengeance vs Brandon James - Ladder Match for James' Nothing to Lose Briefcase

Valiant © vs Des Davids vs John Greed - Chairs Match for SWF North American title

Christian Faith vs Remo - Standard Number One Contender Match for SWF World Heavyweight title

Jack Bruce © vs Steve Frehley - Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match for SWF World Heavyweight title

Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money © - Standard Match for SWF Supreme Heavyweight title, stablemates/managers banned from ringside

SWF Uprising

Abe Lemons Arena (Oklahoma, Mid-South)

Sunday, August 18, 2013 (Week 2)

Adrian Noelson and Ashton Barnaby vs 24/7 Partay Dudez (c?)

The Cali Dragons vs The Eisen Entourage

Frederique Antonio Garcia vs Spencer Spade (c?)

High Concept vs ??????

The Awesomeness vs Biggz in Japan

Joshua Taylor vs Squeeky McClean

Lobster Warrior (c?) vs Koshiro Ino (c?) - SWF United States title rematch

Croquemitaine · July 12, 2013

SWF Welcome to the Jungle

Darryl Devine vs Mikey James vs Spencer Spade ©

- I'm smelling a title change but not sure which challenger takes it

????? vs Marat Khoklov

- Pre-show or not, he's still the monster

Jack Giedroyc vs Eric Eisen

- They're both getting screen time, but Giedroyc feels more like he's being pushed. Also, he's not Eric Eisen.

Randy Bumfhole vs The Zim

- Zim's been getting the better for a while, I think. Time for some payback

Lobster Warrior vs Koshiro Ino

- Ino takes his first single's loss to the sports entertainmentiest sports entertainer in SWF

Hero Squad © vs 24/7 Partay Dudez

- Hero Squad is getting a little stale. They need to get whipped every now and then for motivation

Vengeance vs Brandon James

- One man vs a stable. Some day, but not this day

Valiant © vs Des Davids vs John Greed

- Greed's finally getting a push, but he's not beating Valiant yet. I think Val retains for now.

Christian Faith vs Remo

- I'm picking Bruce to retain, so heel takes #1 contender spot.

Jack Bruce © vs Steve Frehley

- Don't like to see Bruce drop the title so quick, and while flipping these two matches gives you a nice Faith/Frehley title match, I don't think you want either holding the belt right now.

Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money ©

- Taking the longshot here. Either way, this match should rock.

SWF Uprising

Adrian Noelson and Ashton Barnaby vs 24/7 Partay Dudez (c?)

The Cali Dragons vs The Eisen Entourage

Frederique Antonio Garcia vs Spencer Spade (c?)

High Concept vs ??????

The Awesomeness vs Biggz in Japan

Joshua Taylor vs Squeeky McClean

Lobster Warrior (c?) vs Koshiro Ino (c?)

- Well, I'm likely to be right on at least one of these Lobby/Ino fights

Bonus Question #1 - Who will Marat Khoklov's mystery opponent(s) be in the pre-show Five-Minute Challenge? (Could either be one man or a tag team)

- The Psychedelic Soul Brothers

Bonus Question #2 - Looks like The Awesomeness are turning heel very soon. Who will their new manager be? (CLUE - ex-TCW or USPW, not Karen Killer.)

- Seduction

3rdStringPG · July 12, 2013

OOC - Perfectly understood, Eidenhoek. I personally liked the Nation of Domination in the WWF, but there were some elements of the Nation storylines (particularly the all-heel "Gang Warz") that, for me, went down like a fart in church. Guess you can say the NoD had a huge influence on Steve Frehley's new characterization.

With that said, thank you to everyone for the predictions, and keep 'em coming in! Here's the next episode of High Stakes, with three more challenges and a lot more immunity points as all five surviving rookies remain intact after Week 10...

SWF High Stakes

Bob Martinez Sports Center (Florida, Southeast)

Wednesday, August 14, 2013 (Week 2)

CAST:

(Rookie - Mentor)

Nate "Fro Sure" Lee - Nicky Champion

Lazarus McKenzie - Squeeky McClean

Kirk Jameson - Chris Morrisette

Calum Nelson - Captain Atomic and Jungle Lord (Hero Squad)

Dave Newton - Rich Money

ANGLE - Retro Dances (57/D+)

We're reminded by Peter Michaels and Katie Cameron at the start of the show that High Stakes is coming live from the Bob Martinez Sports Center in Tampa, Florida. It's probably no coincidence that the man dancing in the ring, and tonight's special guest host, happens to be named Robert Martinez in real life - it's Robbie Retro, dancing to the disco beat and getting the crowd pumped with his DY-NO-MITE moves!

ANGLE - High Stakes "How Well Do I Know My Mentor" Challenge (41/D-)

The first rookie challenge for tonight checks how well the remaining rookies know their mentor. Like cheesy '70s game show host Chuck Barris, Robbie Retro conducts the challenge as guest host, with matching '70s game show background music. The rookies' answers would have to match those written down by the mentors stationed at Aegalaeus Position, and the one with the highest score after three questions picks up TWO immunity points. Calum Nelson, who has again topped this week's Mentor's Poll, finally draws a bye, plus two immunity points of his own. He also gets to answer first in this particular challenge.

QUESTION #1 - What was your mentor's first impression of you when he first saw you?

Nelson - A stud.
Hero Squad (in very small letters) - A capricious, conniving chairman of catastrophe named Calum Nelson who is in dire need of humbling humiliation before he reaches the pinnaculous [sic] pantheon of primacy and supremacy.

McKenzie - Party animal.
McClean - Party animal.

Newton - MONEY.
Money - Work in progress.

Lee - An entertainer.
Champion - An entertainer.

Jameson - A hard worker.
Lobby - Tough guy.

QUESTION #2 - If you weren't wrestling in the SWF, what does your mentor think you should be in the "real world"? (At this point, Retro reminds Captain Atomic to keep his responses as short as possible. Atomic passes the whiteboard to Jungle Lord pursuant to this request.)

McKenzie - Reggae DJ.
McClean - Reggae DJ.

Newton - NFL safety.
Money - My chauffeur.

Lee - Rap artist.
Champion - Hip-hop musician.

Jameson - He wants me to go back to school.
Lobby - College graduate.

Nelson - A successful male model.
Hero Squad - FLIPIN BURGERS @ MCDONALDS

QUESTION #3 - Which SWF Superstar, past or present, does your mentor feel you can be best compared to?

Newton - The Moneyman...RICH MONEY!
Money - ME. (as a kid)

Lee - Nobody. Nate "Fro Sure" Lee is his own man.
Champion - Nate Lee is who Nate Lee is.

Jameson - Tom Gilmore.
Lobby - John Anderson. =)

Nelson - Sam Strong, only a hundred pounds lighter and a hundred years younger!
Hero Squad - BIGSMACK SOCTT

McKenzie - The Alpha Dog, Remo!
McClean - Remo.........on ganja

As there is obviously a big difference between "Alpha Dog Remo" and "Remo on ganja", Retro doesn't allow this answer, and gives the two immunity points to Nate Lee! Laz McKenzie looks upset at his mentor Squeeky, who says he was just joking around and assures him there are more challenges to follow where he can catch up. Final scores are: Lee 3/3, McKenzie 2/3, Jameson and Newton 1/3, Nelson 0/3.

CHALLENGE WINNER - Lee, two immunity points.

Kirk Jameson (w/Lobster Warrior) vs Dave Newton (w/Rich Money) (26/E)

The winner of this match gets one immunity point, and this should ideally be a good match between two of the better in-ring talents among the High Stakes rookies. Unfortunately, both men exhibit bad chemistry against each other, and the crowd is, in the end, happy to see the match end at 7:42 with Newton tapping out of the Kirk-Hold.

WINNER - Jameson in 7:42. Kirk Jameson gets one immunity point.

ANGLE - High Stakes Punching Power Challenge (31/E)

The "Punching Power" test has the five rookies hitting a punching bag once, with the punching bag contraption registering a score between zero to 1,000 as it measures the rookies' punching power. Head trainer Rory McCallum embarrasses Robbie Retro in the test punch, as the 50-something McCallum scores 815 points to Retro's 527. The results for the rookies are as follows:

1. McKenzie - 869
2. Jameson - 814
3. Lee - 643
4. Newton - 599
5. Nelson - 265

As expected, the antagonism between Hero Squad and their rookie Calum Nelson continues, as Captain Atomic and Jungle Lord can be seen giggling at Nelson's pathetic attempt to attack the punching bag.

CHALLENGE WINNER - McKenzie, two immunity points.

Nate Lee (w/Nicky Champion) vs Lazarus McKenzie (w/Squeeky McClean) (42/D-)

Nicky Champion and Nate Lee may know each other well, but can the SoCal rapper defeat the kayfabe Jamaican party animal in the ring? The answer, unfortunately, is no, as Squeeky McClean tries to make up for costing McKenzie a chance at a tiebreaker question by blatantly cheating on behalf of his rookie. Lee has a close call at 3:50 when he nearly pins McKenzie with the Sure Thing, but he ends up getting tripped by McClean as Darren Smith's back is turned, setting up the Buffalo Souljah and a dishonest win for McKenzie. For winning this match, Laz McKenzie gets himself another immunity point under his name.

WINNER - McKenzie in 8:16. Lazarus McKenzie gets one immunity point.

ANGLE - Champion Hypes Lee (73/B-)

After the match, Nicky Champion is backstage, being interviewed by Eve Runcord. He praises Lee on a gutsy performance, and says it's too early to count him out, despite his cellar-dwelling 3-7 record. He rants about Squeeky McClean and his illegal tactics, and says he'd take the serial lackey on "right here, right now" if only he wasn't making sure his shoulder was healed for another run at Supreme Heavyweight.

ANGLE - High Stakes Karaoke Challenge (34/E)

This challenge features the five rookies picking a High Stakes mentor entrance theme song at random, out of a bowl, and singing 30 seconds to one minute of that song as the lyrics flash on the Supreme-Tron for them to follow along. Robbie Retro introduces the judges for tonight's Karaoke Challenge - singing Psychedelic Soul Brother KP Avatar, Awesomeness member (and "air drummer") Huey Cannonball and, giving hope to the vocally-challenged that they too can sell millions of records, 24/7 Partay Dudez member Mainstream. Since this is a karaoke contest, it's fitting that the three "judges" are impersonating three former judges of a certain karaoke talent search that has long since jumped the shark...

1. Nate Lee - "Will They Die 4 You" (Mase, Puffy, Li'l Kim and System of a Down - Steve Frehley's ring music)

Avatar - Dawg, I dunno what to say about that, but you SLAYED IT! That was DA BOMB, and I have to applaud you on stayin' focused despite the fact that you had chosen the ring music of your former High Stakes mentor. Dude, you have got yourself a future in hip-hop, baby! Nate Lee is IN IT TO WIN IT! (10/10)

Cannonball - That was beautiful, Nate...not much of a hippety-hop fan unless you're talkin' Run-DMC, but...that was beautiful. (9/10)

Mainstream - Nate, I don't know if you were talking to someone or trying to channel the great Puff-whatever-Sean Combs in your rapping, but if you were talking to someone, it must have been Mr. Snuffleupagus. Pure, absolute rubbish. (2/10)

TOTAL SCORE - 21/30

2. Calum Nelson - "Surfin' Bird" (The Trashmen - James Prudence's ring music)

Avatar - Dawg, you had one main word to sing. "Bird." The bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word. Yet your voice was ALL OVER THE PLACE, baby! That song left you no room to be pitchy, yet that was the pitchiest example of singing I've heard since "Fever Beat." Next! (2/10)

Cannonball - Beautiful song, gives me flashbacks to the Vietnam War days when I was playin' with a band called Chain Reaction and gettin' kicked out of school for wearin' long hair...just beautiful. (9/10)

Mainstream - I can bet you that you can walk into the doors of any recording company in America and get an instant deal and a guest spot with the 24/7 Partay Dudez with that masterful singing of yours. This wasn't just brilliant...it was LEGENDARY. Up there with the Beatles, Sinatra and Mozart. (10/10)

TOTAL SCORE - 21/30

3. Kirk Jameson - "Rock Lobster" (The B-52's - Lobster Warrior's ring music)

Avatar - Krustacean Kirk! Man, you are a DAWG of a Krustacean, and I loved that effort you were putting into that performance. But I dunno, Kirk...something about that rendition didn't seem right. It was like, more Fred Sanford than Fred Schneider. Little less of those movements and you'll probably be nailin' it. (5/10)

Cannonball - Now that song reminds me of the time Joe and Brad quit the band and I was all strung out and stuff...just beautiful. (9/10)

Mainstream - The less said about that piece of dreck, the better. Stop scaring the little children off with your singing and we can all be happy. (0/10)

TOTAL SCORE - 14/30

4. Lazarus McKenzie - "Money" (Pink Floyd - Brandon James' ring music)

Avatar - Talk about putting an original twist into the Pink Floyd classic! If Roger Waters went rasta, DAWG, you'd be him. I'm not quite as impressed as I was by Nate's singin', but you came pretty damn close to really nailing it, and you just might wanna give that reggae toaster job a try just in case High Stakes doesn't pan out. Solid stuff. (9/10)

Cannonball - Hey! Where are the underage girls? (pops open his shirt to show his chest, as if mocking a nipple slip) Oh, sorry, I was supposed to grade Lazarus' performance. Beautiful. (9/10)

Mainstream - Unlike Huey Tyler Cannonball, who goes by the words of Ray Stevens and feels everything is beautiful, I'm going to be brutally honest with you, Laz. (takes a long pause) That was TERRIBLE. Plus points for originality, but minus points for everything else. (4/10)

TOTAL SCORE - 22/30

5. Dave Newton - "Tarzan Boy" (Baltimora - Jungle Lord's ring music)

Avatar - Dave Dawg, from the moment you started with that "OH-WOOOOHOOOOOH-OH-WOOOOH-OHHHH!!!", I knew I was going to be in for somethin' REALLY PITCHY. I really hate to say this, Dave, but you were simply all over the place and there's no kind way to put it - you don't wanna quit that day job of yours. If not for your effort, I'd have ranked you below the Surfin' Bird guy. (4/10)

Cannonball (singing in a high, tortured voice not unlike that of a certain 60-something rock star from Boston) - BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! (9/10)

Mainstream - Good news about your performance, Dave? It lasted one minute. Bad news? It's not gonna give you any immunity points. That was rubbish. Absolute rubbish, nowhere near the virtuosity of Calum Nelson. (2/10)

FINAL SCORE - 15/30

With the American Idol send-up all over and done, Laz McKenzie, with 22 of 30 possible points in the Karaoke Challenge, wins two more immunity points by edging Nate Lee (the favorite to win) and Calum Nelson, who both scored 21/30. Newton is fourth with 15/30 and Jameson last place with 14/30. Lee appears angry at both Nelson and Mainstream, complaining about the two of them conspiring to throw him under the bus, but the decision is final. McKenzie's got the two points, and Lee will have to do better in next week's challenges, which would be worth three points each.

CHALLENGE WINNER - McKenzie, two immunity points.

ANGLE - McClean Hypes McKenzie (71/C+)

Any tension that existed between Squeeky McClean and Laz McKenzie is gone now, as McKenzie now leads the immunity points race with five! McClean is confident that his rookie will continue dominating the challenges next week, with points for challenge winners now at three each instead of two. McKenzie, for his part, calls himself the "Alpha Pup, mon", a curious choice of self-proclaimed nickname, as Jack Bruce often uses "Alpha Puppy" to mock Remo. Still, it does make a bit of sense, considering McKenzie's almost Remo-esque mix of strength and athleticism... (Wrestling skill is another story, though, as he remains a bit raw! He's also not as powerful as the original Alpha Dog, though getting there.)

ANGLE - The Fly Boys Rant About 24/7 Partay Dudez (53/D)

A considerably loud cheer erupts as the Supreme-Tron shows High Stakes mentor James Prudence (sans eliminated rookie Jimi Adams) with his teammate, Donnie J, preparing to make their first SWF appearance as The Fly Boys. Eve Runcord asks Prudence about the last Uprising, where Donnie J helped save Jimmy P from a Biggz in Japan/Koshiro Ino beatdown, and he explains that Donnie is an "old friend from Redondo Beach and the indies" who's come over to Supreme to recapture the magic of their old "surf 'n' wrestling" partnership. Donnie refers to the Partay Dudez as "gremmies out of control", and he and Jimmy promise to exceed The Platinum Blondes' achievements in and out of the ring, starting by defeating the Blondes' old tormentors, the Partay Dudez.

The Fly Boys vs 24/7 Partay Dudez (w/Kristen Pearce and A-Prime) (64/C)

Technically, James "Jimmy P" Prudence has nothing more to do with High Stakes, with his rookie having been eliminated a few weeks back, but this match serves as the Tampa fans' dose of polished, exciting wrestling after 50-some minutes of reality-based angles, American Idol parodies and raw rookies in action. Both teams deliver in that regard, and The Fly Boys are showing a lot of synergy in the ring, despite not having teamed up in ages. After nearly defeating Stevie with the Surf's Up, Jimmy P goes for a Prudential Pain Plan, but gets blasted instead with a Running Powerslam by A-Prime (with Ric Young busy lecturing Kristen Pearce about the Dudez' "Foreign Object of Desire" framed photo). Stevie tags Mainstream in, and he lazily pins Prudence as Young counts one, two, three.

WINNERS - 24/7 Partay Dudez in 10:25

WEEK TEN STANDINGS:

Calum Nelson - 6-3
Kirk Jameson - 6-4
Dave Newton - 4-5
Lazarus McKenzie - 4-5
Nate Lee - 3-7
Tommy Alexander - 2-6 - ELIMINATED - WEEK 9
Jimi Adams - 2-5 - ELIMINATED - WEEK 8
Ryan Turner - 1-5 - ELIMINATED - WEEK 7

IMMUNITY POINTS AS OF WEEK TEN:

Lazarus McKenzie - 5
Calum Nelson - 3
Nate Lee - 3
Kirk Jameson - 2
Dave Newton - 1

Overall Grade - 63/C
Nate Lee, Lazarus McKenzie, KP Avatar and Dave Newton were used too much
SWF High Stakes Rating - 0.92

Astil · July 12, 2013

SWF Welcome to the Jungle

Minute Maid Park (Texas, Mid-South)

Saturday, August 17, 2013 (Week 2)

Darryl Devine vs Mikey James vs Spencer Spade © - Standard Match for SWF Shooting Star title (PRE-SHOW)

????? vs Marat Khoklov - Five-Minute Challenge (PRE-SHOW)

Jack Giedroyc vs Eric Eisen - Tables Match

Randy Bumfhole vs The Zim - Best Two of Three Tables Match

Lobster Warrior vs Koshiro Ino - Standard Match for vacant SWF United States title

Hero Squad © vs 24/7 Partay Dudez - Standard Match for SWF Tag Team titles

Vengeance vs Brandon James - Ladder Match for James' Nothing to Lose Briefcase

Valiant © vs Des Davids vs John Greed - Chairs Match for SWF North American title

Christian Faith vs Remo - Standard Number One Contender Match for SWF World Heavyweight title

Jack Bruce © vs Steve Frehley - Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match for SWF World Heavyweight title

Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money © - Standard Match for SWF Supreme Heavyweight title, stablemates/managers banned from ringside

Eidenhoek · July 12, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>The "Punching Power" test has the five rookies hitting a punching bag once, with the punching bag contraption registering a score between zero to 100 as it measures the rookies' punching power. Head trainer Rory McCallum embarrasses Robbie Retro in the test punch, as the 50-something McCallum scores 815 points to Retro's 527. The results for the rookies are as follows: </div></blockquote> wat

Rickymex · July 12, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Eidenhoek" data-cite="Eidenhoek" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>wat</div></blockquote> I think he forgot a 0. Noticed it as well but it reminded me of Dragon Ball Z where the main heroes kept getting numbers way larger than regular people.

Psycho Sam · July 12, 2013

I thought it was that these guys are superhuman. It's so beautiful (9/10).

3rdStringPG · July 13, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Eidenhoek" data-cite="Eidenhoek" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>wat</div></blockquote> Fixed. <img alt=":o" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/redface.png.900245280682ef18c5d82399a93c5827.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

3rdStringPG · July 14, 2013

OOC - Target date for Welcome to the Jungle - Monday or Tuesday. So this may be the second to the last call for predictions. In the meantime, here's the first "commercial" hyping Season 2 of High Stakes...

(As usual, Masked Cougar's "real name" comes from the worker name generator, while Masked Patriot unmasked is CVFP White Male #29 on the free pictures list. Credit again goes to Croquemitaine for the High Stakes logo.)

EIGHT MORE ROOKIES...

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/Ekuma_alt1_zps961b2768.jpg</div>

"I'm gonna succeed where Jimi Adams had failed. Not all Hawaiians are easy-goin' sorts who call each other 'brah' and spend their entire day surfing."

- Rodney, 26, Kona, HI

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/CVFP_WhiteMale_029_zpsb888ff65.jpg</div>

"I've paid too many dues working in the indies. I'm tired of eating ramen noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I'm sick of this goddamn mask. Who the hell am I, Captain USA?"

- Erick, 25, Boston, MA

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JustinSensitive_alt1_zps1bae39e0.jpg</div>

"Ever notice how the pretty boys often seem to have the inside track at High Stakes? It's gonna happen again in Season Two, as I break those hearts and put 'em back together again with my singing and dancing."

- Justin, 27, Milton, MA

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/AlanParent_zpse1108a19.jpg</div>

"My name is Alan, and I'm from Drummondville, Quebec. And you can forget about that so-called Ambassador of Puroresu because I bring it, Haruki Kudo-style, night in and night out."

- Alan, 28, Drummondville, QC

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/MaskedCougar_zpsbbe5fd20.jpg</div>

"This mask is my identity. It is my badge of honor, and like Mexican luchadors, I wear it when I eat dinner with my wife, take my little girl to ballet class, and sometimes, I even wear it when I sleep. If you must, the name's Robert Hayes, but I prefer you call me Masked Cougar."

- Rob, 30, Mission Viejo, CA, a.k.a. Masked Cougar, ??, Parts Unknown

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/TheArchitect_zps72fe9daa.jpg</div>

"The Architect is on the fast track to greatness, because The Architect is High Stakes! Hell, you can call the damn show Architect Stakes!"

- Nick, a.k.a. "The Architect", 21, Kensington, MD

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JacobJett-1_zps9ac87aff.jpg</div>

"Hey, man, why are you lookin' at me? It ain't my fault I'm dating the lead female announcer on High Stakes! The name's Jacob, and I'm here to win High Stakes for the little man."

- Jacob, 26, Philadelphia, PA

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/CaseyValentine_zpsca408bd5.jpg</div>

"My Uncle Peter was the only person who gave me any kind of encouragement when it came to becoming a wrestler. So I don't need this crap about Peter Valentine being the worst wrestler to step into the ring. He and I got one thing 99.99 percent of the rest of you don't, and that's charisma."

- Casey, 24, Fairfax, VA

...ONE MORE GUARANTEED CONTRACT?

<div style="text-align:center;">PLUS...ONE AUTOMATIC TITLE SHOT!

MORE CHALLENGES, MORE DRAMA, MORE ACTION AS THE STAKES GET EVEN HIGHER...</div>

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/SWFHighStakes_zpsa7c72811.jpg

SWF HIGH STAKES SEASON 2

COMING TO USA SPORTS 1 THIS SEPTEMBER...</div>

White Dolphin · July 14, 2013

I know it isn't canon per-se and theres certainly the possibility of Alan being a transplant that wasn't born in Quebec, but Parent is a French-Canadian last name, as its pronounced more like Pa-ron-t.

Man, me and I believe Astil and Blake Trask (I think Michigan Hero may have been involved too.) really had no idea what was gonna ensue when we slagged Monsieur Parent for his woefully inaccurate bio in the TEW chat, and then it became FBIPW and one of the more well-known memes on the site.....and now Parent is gonna politic his way to SWF success in what is practically the best diary here. This just goes to show that anything, no matter how bad it may seem at first glance, can connect with the right audience.

I still maintain, even in lieu of people like Dermot O'Logical and Sgt. Bubba Lee West having unchanged bios and stats since TEW05, that Alan Parent is a gag character created by Ryland, just a lot more subtle than obvious stuff like The Scotsman and Minor Annoyance and such. I remember the theories and unanswered questions were flying around chat like it was a magic bullet in Dallas. Is he a rib on puro smarks who care only for head dropping suplexes and WHOA GOD THAT SUBMISSION HOLD IS AWESOME? Is he a rib on noted self-promoter Phil Parent? Is he a rib on anyone who plays 0/0/0s, as he is invariably at or near the top of the list of workers after searching for suitable warm bodies because alphabet? Is he not a rib, just an oversight on Rylands part that will be corrected in TEW2016 when NOTBPW offers him a contract after sudden improvement? Why did he get the peroxided blonde hair that Kashmir Singh had for his render? Why doesn't he have a grasp on psychology? Why isn't his SQ higher when he always gets renders that make him look like some type of model? Why did his personality change from normal guy in TEW2005 to negative influence nowadays? Why was he released from 4C after TEW2005?

We may never know, and like that gag in Idaho Punisher's bio, maybe its best if its one of the unsolved mysteries of the Cornellverse.

Oh yeah, this diary is still in possession of the Cooltrainer Bret/White Dolphin Seal of Major Awesomeness, Approval, Excellence, and Five Positive Words Longer Than 7 Letters Or So. Keep up the great work, Three String Shooter.

3rdStringPG · July 14, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="White Dolphin" data-cite="White Dolphin" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I know it isn't canon per-se and theres certainly the possibility of Alan being a transplant that wasn't born in Quebec, but Parent is a French-Canadian last name, as its pronounced more like Pa-ron-t. Man, me and I believe Astil and Blake Trask (I think Michigan Hero may have been involved too.) really had no idea what was gonna ensue when we slagged Monsieur Parent for his woefully inaccurate bio in the TEW chat, and then it became FBIPW and one of the more well-known memes on the site.....and now Parent is gonna politic his way to SWF success in what is practically the best diary here. This just goes to show that anything, no matter how bad it may seem at first glance, can connect with the right audience. I still maintain, even in lieu of people like Dermot O'Logical and Sgt. Bubba Lee West having unchanged bios and stats since TEW05, that Alan Parent is a gag character created by Ryland, just a lot more subtle than obvious stuff like The Scotsman and Minor Annoyance and such. I remember the theories and unanswered questions were flying around chat like it was a magic bullet in Dallas. Is he a rib on puro smarks who care only for head dropping suplexes and WHOA GOD THAT SUBMISSION HOLD IS AWESOME? Is he a rib on noted self-promoter Phil Parent? Is he a rib on anyone who plays 0/0/0s, as he is invariably at or near the top of the list of workers after searching for suitable warm bodies because alphabet? Is he not a rib, just an oversight on Rylands part that will be corrected in TEW2016 when NOTBPW offers him a contract after sudden improvement? Why did he get the peroxided blonde hair that Kashmir Singh had for his render? Why doesn't he have a grasp on psychology? Why isn't his SQ higher when he always gets renders that make him look like some type of model? Why did his personality change from normal guy in TEW2005 to negative influence nowadays? Why was he released from 4C after TEW2005? We may never know, and like that gag in Idaho Punisher's bio, maybe its best if its one of the unsolved mysteries of the Cornellverse. Oh yeah, this diary is still in possession of the Cooltrainer Bret/White Dolphin Seal of Major Awesomeness, Approval, Excellence, and Five Positive Words Longer Than 7 Letters Or So. Keep up the great work, Three String Shooter.</div></blockquote> Hmmm...perhaps I can change Alan Parent's hometown to somewhere in Quebec, now that you mention it. I've always said his surname as it's spelled, much like I pronounced Frehley as "freely" until I heard KISS' Gene $immon$ "shooting" on the original Space Ace in an interview. To be honest, I never cared much about Parent until he became a cult favorite in Charasmatic Enigma's FBIPW diary, with the inimitable Kammy Ling as his manager, praising the virtues of "puwowesu" and insulting the "stoopid Amewicans" in the audience. Regarding Parent's attitude, he's not the only one who's changed into a negative influence or to neutral, or better yet, positive. I remember Remo and Duane Fry being negative in previous TEW versions, now they're just neutral. That said, thanks for the continued support! <img alt=":D" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Oh, and Three String Shooter sounds good because I can't play guitar to save my life. <img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Rickymex · July 14, 2013

I always wondered why Parent's psychology was always so low. So if he's a joke of the American-Puro stereotype then it makes sense as they would be similar to spot monkeys just instead of High Flying moves it's head dropping moves. IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE!!!

Dawn · July 14, 2013

Going to follow this one now, i didn't read everything, but what i did is great stuff.

Big Roguey · July 14, 2013

Damnit 3rdString, why did you make me choose between THE ARCHITECT and our lord and saviour of Puroresu?!?!?

Astil · July 14, 2013

I feel bad for Jett. Such talent, but only to be the Jannety to Parent's HBK in this season.

flaviooooo · July 15, 2013

SWF Welcome to the Jungle

Minute Maid Park (Texas, Mid-South)

Saturday, August 17, 2013 (Week 2)

Darryl Devine vs Mikey James vs Spencer Spade © - Standard Match for SWF Shooting Star title (PRE-SHOW)

????? vs Marat Khoklov - Five-Minute Challenge (PRE-SHOW)

Jack Giedroyc vs Eric Eisen - Tables Match

Randy Bumfhole vs The Zim - Best Two of Three Tables Match

Lobster Warrior vs Koshiro Ino - Standard Match for vacant SWF United States title

Vengeance vs Brandon James - Ladder Match for James' Nothing to Lose Briefcase

Christian Faith vs Remo - Standard Number One Contender Match for SWF World Heavyweight title

Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money © - Standard Match for SWF Supreme Heavyweight title, stablemates/managers banned from ringside

SWF Uprising

Abe Lemons Arena (Oklahoma, Mid-South)

Sunday, August 18, 2013 (Week 2)

Adrian Noelson and Ashton Barnaby vs 24/7 Partay Dudez (c?)

The Cali Dragons vs The Eisen Entourage

Frederique Antonio Garcia vs Spencer Spade (c?)

High Concept vs ??????

The Awesomeness vs Biggz in Japan

Joshua Taylor vs Squeeky McClean

Lobster Warrior (c?) vs Koshiro Ino (c?) - SWF United States title rematch

Bonus Question #1 - Who will Marat Khoklov's mystery opponent(s) be in the pre-show Five-Minute Challenge? (Could either be one man or a tag team) Psychedelic Soul Brothers

Bonus Question #2 - Looks like The Awesomeness are turning heel very soon. Who will their new manager be? (CLUE - ex-TCW or USPW, not Karen Killer.) Floyd Goldworthy

3rdStringPG · July 15, 2013

OOC - Last call for alcohol, er...predictions! Welcome to the Jungle should be up in 24 hours (alright, 48 hours tops), and yes, it's going to be an interesting High Stakes Season 2 with Messrs. Parent and Architect in the lineup. Thanks to Smasher1311 for the comments, and hope to see you join in the predictions soon, or at least keep on following the diary! <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

<div style="text-align:center;">"First Gig Blues"</div>

Friday, August 16, 2013

Rudy's, a fictional rock club in Tampa, FL (not owned by Mr. Velasquez)

10:30 p.m.

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/RemmySkye.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/TracyBrendon_alt_zpsbbdc940b.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/KPAvatar1_zps5b3cfe33.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/AshCampbell_alt_zpscc3618ed.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/CameronVesseyalt_zpsccca34c0.jpg</div>

"TAKE IT OFF!!! TAKE IT OFF!!! TAKE IT OFF!!! TAKE IT OFF!!!"

No, we weren't at a strip bar that Friday evening before Welcome to the Jungle. We were in Tampa, home of death metal and the (Devil) Rays, and the shouts of "TAKE IT OFF!!!" were directed to our bassist, Ash Campbell, and the mask he was wearing. Though it was common knowledge that faces and heels could interact in public like nobody's business, we respected kayfabe enough to make Ash wear a mask and bill himself as "Archnemesis." Still, enough people at Rudy's seemed to know who Archnemesis was...even if he had never acknowledged on SWF programming that his dad was, in fact, Richard Eisen's Public Enemy Number Three, John "Nemesis" Campbell. (Of course, Tommy Cornell and Sam Strong were tops on that list.)

"HEY ASH!!! TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER!!!" We were pausing for a guitar change - at that point, Josh Taylor had hit the stage to hand his wife Tracy her backup guitar, as one of the strings had broken. And the needling of "Archnemesis" was beginning to get on our bassist's nerves.

"I'm serving a month's suspension and Dad's pissed off at me because I was stupid enough to get caught," whined Ash as we slinked off to a part of the stage where we couldn't be heard. "Can't they give me a break?"

"Don't worry about it, Ash, I mean, Archnemesis. I've seen worse crowds than this in Detroit, you know, people booing the shit out of my high school band, insisting we play Killswitch Engage." Ash and Remmy had zero experience playing in bands, and most of the derision was related to Ash's subpar bass playing.

"LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE BASS, NEMESIS JR.!"

"AVATAR!!! I JUST F---ED THE CHEERLEADER!!!" Damn, this place was teeming with unruly smarks. But I wasn't letting any of that get to me. And neither was Dawn, who was sitting up front with Josh, and Ash's non-wrestling industry girlfriend. Instead, I took to the mic and decided to keep the crowd busy as Tracy tuned her spare guitar in preparation for our next song.

"HLLLLLETMETELLYOUSOMETHIN', Tampa," I begun, taking a page from '80s and '90s wrestling. "You people are the..."

"GO IMPERSONATE RANDY JACKSON OR SOMETHIN'!"

"WE WANT RYAN TURNER ON GUITAR!!! HIGH STAAAAAAKES!!!" Again, more heckling.

"There's a reason why they call us the Psychedelic Garage Jobbers, and that's because we spend our SUNDAY NIGHTS...COUNTING LIGHTS! Now I know you people didn't come here to hear '60s classics butchered by a bunch of 20-something professional wrestlers, or '60s no-hit wonders about fly-by-nighters and dollar signs. You came here to listen to hair metal covers, you know, songs by those bands whom Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and their ilk gave a good crushin' to before grunge and alternative took over. But guess what...we ain't givin' you that kinda music tonight. Who among you wants to hear somethin' original?"

For a few seconds, silence. Remmy had warned me this could be a tough crowd, and they seemed to love giving us a hard time, but a couple people over at the back shouted their approval.

"You're gonna have to excuse my man Remmy for a few moments, because this is my time, my stage, my song," I continued, sort-of paraphrasing Spencer Spade. "This one's called 'Sunday Nights Counting Lights', and this goes out to the pretty little cheerleader sitting out in front."

These were tough smarks indeed, but as long as we played our asses off, as long as those three didn't tell us we absolutely sucked, we felt this first gig could be something to tell the grandkids about. And despite Ash's crappy bass playing and the numerous miscues, we knew this would be the first of many gigs to come for the first all-wrestler band since Painful Procedure, the Psychedelic Garage Jobbers.

3rdStringPG · July 16, 2013

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/SWF_WelcomeJungle_zps06377af5.jpg</div> SWF Welcome to the Jungle Minute Maid Park (Texas - Mid-South) Saturday, August 17, 2013 (Week Two) PRE-SHOW: <div style="text-align:center;">Darryl Devine vs Mikey James vs Spencer Spade © - Standard match for SWF Shooting Star title (52/D)</div> Once again, the pre-show kicks off with the low-level Shooting Star title getting defended, and for most of the match, reigning champion Spencer Spade is in control, covering Mikey James and Darryl Devine following a Spadesault and Supreme Stunner respectively - in both cases, the recipients of these impact moves kick out before the three-count. Devine seizes the opportunity to win this as James is distracted by the surprise presence of El Duque Nicolas (Lopez) and his tag partner, the returning Paul Huntingdon - apparently, the kayfabe Spanish duke is still upset over James making him the last elimination in the ten-man Shooting Star number one contender battle royal. With James, then Spade distracted by the "Royal Pains", Devine grabs Spade from behind and sets him up for the Devine Dream Drop for the win...and the Shooting Star title. WINNER - Devine in 7:26 <div style="text-align:center;">Marat Khoklov (w/Richie Pangrazzio Jr.) vs The Psychedelic Soul Brothers (w/Chloe Dean) and Glenn Casey (w/Ben Casey) - Five-Minute Challenge Handicap (46/D-)</div> Richie Pangrazzio Jr. joins Peter Michaels and Duane Fry on commentary for this second pre-show match, and he claims that Marat Khoklov will easily put these three "nobodies" away in five minutes or less. That he does, as he pins KP Avatar, then Remmy Skye, then Glenn Casey with little to no effort. WINNER - Khoklov in 4:55 <div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Champion Challenges Khoklov (76/B-)</div> As Khoklov celebrates in the ring, Nicky Champion surprisingly appears to challenge the big guy to ANOTHER five-minute challenge. He claims he can defeat Khoklov with a "Papoose Piledriver and a Hawkeye Hammer or vice versa, and THAT WILL BE ALL SHE WROTE! UGH! UGH! UGH!" To this, Khoklov responds with an angry, guttural "I ACCEPT!!! CHAMPION GO DOWN!!!" despite Pangrazzio shaking his head and asking Khoklov to reconsider. <div style="text-align:center;">Nicky Champion vs Marat Khoklov (w/Richie Pangrazzio Jr.) - Five-Minute Challenge (62/C-)</div> For a few moments, it looks like Champion is in the wrong place at the wrong time - at around 2:30, a Moscow Lariat causes Champion to wince in pain and cradle his injured shoulder. But Champion bides his time, waits for the right moment to strike, and at 3:40, he does, sending Khoklov crashing down with a running Hawkeye Hammer, sans elbow padding. Duane Fry complains that the move should be illegal as Ric Young counts one, two, three. WINNER - Champion in 3:49 WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (PART 1): <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Bruce vs Frehley/Welcome to the Jungle Hype Video (83/B)</div> The hype video starts with some clips of Jack Bruce and Steve Frehley "sending messages" to each other as the opening riffs of Guns 'n' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle" play in the background. We see Frehley bashing ex-Platinum Blondes manager Carl Batch with a chair, then bodyslamming Freddy Garcia on a table (July 23 Supreme TV) and screaming these words out... Frehley (from July 23 Supreme TV) - Y'ALL AIN'T S---!!! THE ONLY THING MISSIN' IS A LADDER!!!! Then we see Jack Bruce introduced to his primary distraction for tonight's title defense - the demeaning "tribute video" which he blames Rich Money for allegedly masterminding. Frehley (from August 6 Supreme TV) - I'm not only gonna win my World Heavyweight title back, JACK...I'm also gonna send you to an early retirement, both in the ring...and in the world of music. Perhaps you'd have some quality time to spend with your kid, if it's any consolation... As the song approaches the vocal part and Slash and Izzy Stradlin team up for the catchy powerhouse riffs that have made "Welcome to the Jungle" one of G'n'R's most recognizable songs, we see footage of Bruce smashing Frehley with a gimmicked electric guitar and walking away as Frehley says "I Quit" (in a very colorful way) in his match against Christian Faith from the August 13 Supreme TV. With Axl Rose now singing, the rest of the hype video features clips of Angry Gilmore and Rich Money in action, clips featuring Hero Squad on Supreme TV, the 24/7 Partay Dudez also on Supreme TV but beating down on Hero Squad, Koshiro Ino, Lobster Warrior and other scheduled competitors for tonight's PPV. We also see scenes from previous Welcome to the Jungle PPVs, including one from August 2008, where Vengeance knocks Jack Bruce off a ladder in their World Heavyweight title match - this is where Rose sings "When you're high you never, ever wanna come down." And in the part where he screams "YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?!?!? You're in the jungle, baby!", Jungle Lord is shown bashing Freddy Garcia in a Tag Team Chairs Match pitting Hero Squad vs The Platinum Blondes. This is followed by Vengeance chokeslamming Christian Faith in the 2009 PPV as Rose yells out "YOU'RE GONNA DIEEEEEEE!!!!" Afterwards, it's more scenes from previous WttJ PPVs, and finally The Zim doing his signature pelvic thrusts as Rose ends the song by grunting "UGH!" with finality.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Bruce Rants About Money and Frehley (85/B+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JackBruce_alt14_zpsa4377f81.jpg</div> We're welcomed, no pun intended, to the PPV by announcers Peter Michaels, Duane Fry and Ana Garcia, as Jack Bruce's ring music plays in the background. Due to the distractions of the "tribute video", he's had little time to build up some hype against Steve Frehley in his TLC title defense, so it makes sense that he's trying to make up for things now. This time he's wearing black, with two weeks' growth of beard suggesting he may have been letting himself go a bit due to the situation he has with his son Bobby and the young man's mother, Karen "Killer" Kallovski. Bruce (saying the first two words with little enthusiasm) - It's showtime. So I've defeated Remo for the World Heavyweight title and become the first-ever five-time World Heavyweight champ in SWF history. So I clobbered Steve Frehley with one of my cheapest guitars and forced him to say "I Quit" just so he has a better chance to get his ass whupped in the ring. None of that matters to me now. All that matters to Jack Bruce now is to spend some quality time with his son Bobby. You know what, Rich Money? You can admit it because I actually thank you for getting everything out in the open. Prior to that tribute video, I was on top of the SWF world, partying it up with Jimmy, Kyle and the rest of the Jack Bruce Band. It's been said many times before that pride comes before the fall, and when I won that title, I was nearly overcome by just that - pride. Sometimes it takes just that - pride - to make you realize you've lost sight of what really is important in life. And for 20 years, that should have included my son with Karen Killer, a spitting image if you ask me. That's why I'm saying these words once again. Bobby, if you feel that I've neglected you in the 20 years since your birth, I'm sorry. Really sorry. With all that in mind, I want you to know, Bobby, that tonight's victory against Steve Frehley will be dedicated to you. (slowly regaining his trademark intensity) Just like hippy-hippy shakin' Joe Namath at Super Bowl III against the clean-cut Baltimore Colts of Johnny Unitas, I am guaranteeing that I will win tonight against Steve Frehley, that Black Panther wannabe who isn't doing anyone - himself, myself, Christian Faith, and NOT THE LEAST his fellow African-Americans - any favors. Yeah, I've seen him drive Freddy Garcia through a table and come damn close to injuring Carl Batch, Randy Bumfhole and Greg Black with his devil-may-care onslaughts. Am I distracted? Yes, I am, but not by anything remotely related to Steve Frehley. But am I intimidated by Frehley's repeated attempts to send a message to me and put me into retirement, not just as a wrestler, but as the MAYOR OF METAL, POPULATION UMPTEEN MILLION?!?!? HELL NO. All you Constituents of Houston, Texas can see it right in front of you. The tables. The ladders. The chairs. All of which I will use to my advantage to destroy Steve Frehley, for he is nothing but a blip, a footnote, an AFTERTHOUGHT in the story of Jack Bruce's HISTORIC FIFTH WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE. And as you saw on the last Supreme TV, it looks like Mr. Bad-Ass Mofo from East L.A. ain't so bad-ass after all. Tonight, Steve, I'm gonna take it easy on you. I'm gonna do what I could to make our match short and punchy, because I already know what a PANSY you can be when the goin' gets tough. So prepare for a quick one, Little Stevie. I won't punish you like Christian Faith chooses to do, much as he wants to make amends with you despite your treacherous, SELF-SERVING betrayal. I'm gonna make it short and sweet, Little Stevie, and I'm gonna TAKE YOU OUT TONIGHT...IN A NEW!!! YORK!!!! MINUTE!!!!</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE- The Zim Rants About Randy B. (66/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/ZimmyBumfhole_alt.jpg</div> Jason Azaria is backstage with The Zim and the rest of the New Chase Agency, and none of them, including Brandon James, appear bothered by the sight of The Zim passionately getting it on with a cowboy-attired "Easy" Emma Chase. As Azaria approaches, "Easy" Emma unties her checkered shirt to reveal the "dollar sign" bra underneath, and it looks like Azaria is having a lot of difficulty hiding his excitement... Azaria - Ms. Chase, I mean Emma...that really isn't necessary... Chase - Three times divorced with adult kids doesn't sound like a problem to me, Jason... Azaria (still looking very awkward, yet aroused) - Yes, but, but...I came here to speak to The Zim. The Zim (lunging in front of Azaria) - What is it that the Man of 1,000 Facts wants to know? Here's a thousand-first for you, Jason. The Zim is IRRE-SISTIBLE!!!!!!!!!! (makes pelvic thrust gestures) BOO-YEAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Azaria - My youngest daughter knows that, and I've warned her about you. Anyway, Zim, your brother Randy was telling you to watch out for a surprise back on the last Uprising. Any idea what the surprise is? The Zim - Zimmy don't know...and Zimmy don't care. Because it's obvious who the better Bumfhole's always been, and you're lookin' at him right now. Azaria - Just WHAT is your beef with Randy? Is it because he always made it appear that he was the older brother when, in fact, he isn't? Is it because he always got the pick of the litter, while you got the rejects when it came to the girls? Is it because he wanted the Bumfholes to appeal to teenagers by acting and speaking ditzy? The Zim - All of the above, Jason...AND THEN SOME. Y'see, it wasn't always like this for the Bumfholes. Bein' teased in school because of our surname was no picnic, and bein' the older brother, I always stuck up for Randy. I taught him how to fight back when he wouldn't. And what does he do to repay me? Nothin' really, but MAKE ME FEEL INFERIOR. Not anymore, Randy. We're goin' back to the drawing board, back to where it all started. Back to the tables. And this time, it's gonna be BEST TWO OF THREE...the most grueling kind of tables match ever to be approved by the SWF. And just to make myself perfectly clear...it doesn't matter what your surprise is, Randy. You may have taught me about tables, but I'm gonna show you something about students eclipsing their teachers...NOT JUST ON THE TABLES...but once again, IN BED!!!! BOO-YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! (makes thrusting gestures) Azaria - Sounds like more of the same from The Zim, but we shall see in a bit who wins this rematch of sorts from Master of Puppets, as there continues to be no love lost between brothers Randy Bumfhole and The Zim. But up next, we've got another tables match, this time a more conventional one - we've got Jack Giedroyc vs Eric Eisen up next, so hang tight to your seats, Welcome to the Jungle has just started, and is about ready to heat up!</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Dozer Gets Ready (33/E)</div> Instead of chugging down a beer before the match, Eric Eisen pauses for a few moments and hands his beer can to "Bulldozer" Bryan Smith, who consumes it in just a few seconds' time. Dozer and Franklin Huggins seem puzzled by Eisen's decision to teetotal prior to his match against Giedroyc, but they don't say much as they accompany him to the ring for the first match of Welcome to the Jungle...</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Jack Giedroyc (w/Dawn the Cheerleader) vs Eric Eisen (w/The Eisen Entourage) - Tables Match (66/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/Rogue.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/EricEisen_alt2_zps23d12aee.jpg</div> - In what can be called a minor surprise, Dawn the Cheerleader is introduced as Jack Giedroyc's manager, just as she was before he turned heel and joined the Chase Agency as Rogue. Ana Garcia hints at Dawn having some "big plans" going forward, though she doesn't specify what these plans are, or if Dawn will be resigning from her announcer duties on Uprising. - Eisen starts the match strong with a running face smash on Giedroyc, and laughs like a hyena as he picks Giedroyc up for the DDT. Giedroyc's down and looks ripe for a cover, but we have to remember this is a tables match - that won't end it. - At around 2:30, Giedroyc and Eisen are brawling outside the ring, and the Supreme Iconoclast is still in control. He pulls out a table from underneath the ring, but before he could set it up, Giedroyc jumps him from behind and floors him with a legsweep. - The midway point of this match sees several tables set up in the ring and outside, but every time Eisen tries to slam Giedroyc against one of them, the former Rogue finds a way to get out of the jam. Giedroyc finally gets his first chance to end the match at 5:10, but Eisen grabs the top rope at the last second to prevent himself from crashing against one of the tables. - The action is, once again, outside the ring at the 7:20 mark, and Giedroyc finally appears to be in control, having Crashed On Eisen at around 6:50. Seeing their fraternity brother in trouble, Dozer Smith and Franklin Huggins run to his aid, but end up getting clotheslined by Giedroyc! Both Entourage lackeys are down, but Eisen is on his feet now and looking to end this with a Switchblade Powerslam variation on Giedroyc. That gets countered, though, and with full force, Giedroyc lands the Crashing On on Eisen and drives him against one of the tables! Big win for The Allied Forces' U.K. representative, and possibly a step towards bigger things... WINNER - Giedroyc in 7:55</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Gilmore vs Money Hype Video (88/B+)</div> Just because the first hype video had no narrator doesn't mean the SWF has retired its James Earl Jones Sound-alike Voiceover (JEJSV). Here he is again, as he talks the audience at home through the evening's main event - Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money for the SWF Supreme Heavyweight title. JEJSV - It would appear as if everybody wants a shot against Rich Money. E. Eisen (from July 16 Supreme TV) - You may be, as you say, "Money", but are you a larger-than-life iconoclast who prepares for matches with beer and pizza, rather than training and beatdowns? You're the one who's yesterday's news, Rich. As for me? I am Eric Eisen. I am the Supremacist, and now the Supreme Iconoclast. And that's more than enough. Champion (from July 23 Supreme TV) - That's right. NICKY CHAMPION CAN BEAT TOM GILMORE TONIGHT!!!! HE CAN BEAT RICH MONEY AT WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE AND WIN THE SUPREME HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!! You know why, SWF Galaxy? BECAUSE NICKY CHAMPION!!!! IS MORE!!!! THAN JUST!!!! A NAME!!!! JEJSV - But none want that shot more badly than one Tom "Angry" Gilmore. Gilmore (from August 13 Supreme TV) - SATURDAY NIGHT AT WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, RICH MONEY...I'm gonna be seein' you in the ring. Minute Maid Park, Houston, Texas...as fifty thousand members of the SWF Galaxy scream my name and wait for that dose of Anger Management to come along...I WILL PUT THE FEAR OF GILMORE INTO YOU, FOR WHILE TONIGHT IS A GOOD NIGHT TO BE ANGRY...NONE WILL BE AS GOOD AS SATURDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 17!!! JEJSV - Ever since Rich Money defeated Tom Gilmore, with the two men the last survivors in a bloody Elimination Chamber match for the first SWF Supreme Heavyweight title at Times of Trouble, the SWF's original Straight-Edge Superstar has been on a mission to win the title clean and fair. Which is more than one could say about how Money has defended his Supreme Heavyweight belt since then. Next, the video shows scenes of Money relying on Marat Khoklov to retain the title at Master of Puppets, then on a controversial call from Commissioner Barry Bowen to defeat Nicky Champion at Supreme Challenge XXXIII. B. Bowen (from Supreme Challenge XXXIII) - Jez, if you catch Nicky Champion executing the Hawkeye Hammer without his elbow pad again, DISQUALIFY HIM IMMEDIATELY. Or else...it just might be your job on the line. JEJSV - But with the Moneyman having retained time and again with the help of his contacts and stablemates, it had been decided on the last Supreme TV that all members of The Almighty Dollar and the Men Unda Pressure, and all managers as well, be banned from the ring at Welcome to the Jungle. Can Rich Money retain his title and make it three months running as the first Supreme Heavyweight title holder in SWF history? Money (from August 13 Supreme TV) - There will be no associates, no managers, EVERYONE will be banned from ringside. And that's just the way I want it on Saturday night at Houston, at Minute Maid Park. That's Money, SWF Galaxy HARKS. And Money is one thing Tom Gilmore will never be as I beat him for a THIRD and DECISIVE time for the Supreme Heavyweight title. JEJSV - Or will Tom "Angry" Gilmore prove that... Gilmore (from August 13 Supreme TV) - Tonight is a good night...to be angry. JEJSV - ...and win the title from the hated Moneyman and become the first Triple Crown champion in SWF history?</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Hero Squad and 24/7 Partay Dudez Rant About Each Other (62/C-)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/AtomSmasher.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JungleJack.jpg</div> We return backstage, where Jason Azaria is interviewing Hero Squad in preparation for their match against the 24/7 Partay Dudez, where they shall be defending their tag team titles... Atomic - AZARIAAAAAAAAAAAA...JAAAAAAAY...SONNNNNNNNN...AZAAAAAARIAAAAAAAA... Jungle Lord - Captain Atomic have something say! Azaria - Sounds like he does indeed, Jungle Lord! So let's hear it from the man himself, Mr. Atomic... Atomic - WHEN A GIRL CHANGES FROM BOBBY SOX TO STOCKINGS...AND SHE STARTS TRAAAAAAAADING HER BABY DOLLS FOR BOYZZZZZZ-ZA-ZA-ZA-ZA-ZA... Azaria - Frankie Avalon, if I'm not mistaken, right? Atomic - YOU SHOW YOUR AGE WELL, JAYYYYYY-SONNNNNNN...BUT AS I WAS ABOUT TO SAY...WHEN LITTLE GIRLS REACH THEIR TWEEEEEENS...THEY WOULD BE BEST ADVISED TO STAY AWAY FROM THE PARTAY DUDEZ!!!!!!!! THEIR OBTRUSIVELY OVERT SEXUALITY IS ACCENTUATED TIME AND AGAIN BY THEIR TITILLATINGLY TERRIFYING TENDENCY TO GRAB THE AREA NEXT TO THEIR MAN PARTS, WHICH IS NOT SOMETHING THE LARGE HADRON PARENTS OF THE LITTLE NEUTRON GIRLS OF THE SWF GALAXY SHOULD CONDONE!!!!!!! Azaria (looking confused) - ...in English, please? <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/MainstreamHernandez_zps6c9b99e4.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/StevenParker_zps66188f51.jpg</div> Mainstream (interrupting Azaria and crashing the interview) - It means we're too SEXAY for Hero Squad's demographic. Stevie - And that's what makes us the biggest-selling boy band in music history. Unlike the others who play it safe and make sure they don't offend the (mockingly) quote-unquote "Large Hadron Parents"...we push the envelope with our sexy dance moves and... (pauses to grab his crotch) ...MAN-PART GRABBING. Mainstream - Unlike the blatant perversion of one Zimmerman Bumfhole, we sell sex only up to a point where we still remain wholesome and, most of all, MARKETABLE. Stevie - And speaking of marketable, I don't see that as a term to describe you two comic book DORKS. Everybody's gotta grow up sometime, Hero Squad. So why don't you? (to Mainstream) Let's get out of here, man. No point wasting our time on these two overgrown babies. Stevestream's got Tag Team titles to win! Mainstream - No, Steve. MAINSTEVE!!!!!! Stevie - STEVESTREAM!!!!!! Mainstream - MAINSTEVE!!!!!!!! Atomic (yelling as Mainstream and Stevie continue their mock argument and walk away) - OVER OUR RAAAAAAAAAAAADIOACTIVE BODIES, PARTAY DUDEZ!!!!!!!!! Jungle Lord - HERO SQUAD DONIMATE!!!! Azaria - You mean "dominate", don't you, Jungle Lord? Jungle Lord - Azaria good man right! HERO SQUAD DOMINATE!!!!</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Randy Bumfhole (w/Dawn the Cheerleader and The Allied Forces) vs The Zim (w/"Easy" Emma Chase and the New Chase Agency) - Best Two of Three Tables Match (71/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/RandyBumfholealt.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/ZimmyBumfhole_alt.jpg</div> - So this is Randy Bumfhole's surprise for his brother - apparently he's now being managed by Dawn the Cheerleader, and he's now part of an upper midcard babyface stable with The Allied Forces and Hannah! The crowd gives the new, yet-unnamed stable a good round of applause and cheers, yet the introduction of the faction is interrupted by The Zim and the rest of the New Chase Agency hitting the ring (to the tune of Easy Emma's ring music "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts) and everything erupting into chaos! - Things do eventually settle down, and The Zim gets the first fall in this match at around 2:50, setting up a table in the ring and landing a flying bodypress on his younger brother as the first table breaks. - Emma Chase being Emma Chase, she makes her presence felt at 5:00 or so, flashing Randy B. with the dollar signs just as he's about to knock The Zim out with the Bumfhole Buster. Both Dawn and Jack Giedroyc are telling Randy to look away, and he does, but not quick enough to avoid a Fame Dropper from The Zim. So far, Randy and Dawn appear to have great chemistry. - Despite that move, Randy is able to reverse an Irish Whip from The Zim, and with his second wind kicking in, he hip-tosses The Zim out of the ring and crashing against another table, making it 1-all at 6:20. - For the next three minutes, both brothers trade fast-paced moves without making any serious attempt to drive the other against a table, and both get distracted momentarily by Valiant and John Greed squaring off outside the ring and preventing the other from interfering. This allows Easy Emma to slide a table into the ring and set it up quickly, but instead of The Zim using it on Randy, the opposite happens - Randy stands up in time to thwart a frog splash attempt from The Zim, climbing up to the second rope and setting big brother up for a superplex against the table! The table breaks, and Randy Bumfhole emerges victorious against The Zim in what should be a blow-off for this brother vs brother feud...for now. WINNER - R. Bumfhole in 9:48, two tables to one.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - The Awesomeness Beats Down on Randy B. (49/D-)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/HueyCannonball-1_zpsdd69200f.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JeffersonStardust.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/RandyBumfholealt.jpg</div> So where do Dawn's original clients, The Awesomeness, go from here? A possible heel turn, that's where, as Huey Cannonball and Jeff Stardust appear quite insecure over Dawn gaining two new clients in Jack Giedroyc and Randy Bumfhole. The two kayfabe rock stars hit the ring and "beat on the Bumf" (as a Ramones-paraphrasing Duane Fry calls it), disregarding Dawn's pleas to let it go and accept the fact that she's expanding the stable. Though this doesn't mark an official heel turn yet, the crowd is booing The Awesomeness for their actions. The only person who appears to be cheering is a black leather-clad woman in the audience, whom the announcers don't identify despite the cameras spending a good ten seconds on her. The mystery woman, for those who don't follow the competition, is Alanis Springsteen (a.k.a. Seduction), who better not get into any marriage angles with Lobster Warrior lest she risk sharing a name with a certain Canadian pop-rocker. </div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Ino Rants About Lobby (66/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/KoshiroIno_zpsd15edb74.jpg</div> The Supreme-Tron takes us backstage, where Koshiro Ino and Biggz in Japan are talking strategy for Ino's title match for the first-ever SWF United States title, against Lobster Warrior. Ino - I cannot trust either you to be in my corner tonight. Last Monday, you run in against James Prudence, and cost me the match. (pauses) I have yet to be pinned in SWF and I cannot risk that chance with you stupid American gaijin helping me out! Bart-San - Look, sensei, you have to understand that we meant well. Brett-San - We still see you as the embodiment of pure wrestling, and not some old man in a lobster suit tryin' to pander to the little kids! Ino - Talk, talk, talk. All I get from you two is talk. Apologies. Telling me it not happen again. Where's the action, Bart-San and Brett-San? I am going out there to the ring, and this time, I want you two to remain in locker room unless you think I'm in danger. Use best judgment. Bart-San - That lobster man is sure good, though... Ino (scoffing) - It is as if you did not pay attention when I teach you about puroresu. If Chris Morrisette wrestle in Japan, he a joke. He get beaten up by wrestlers, by fans, by promoters, because wearing lobster suit is an INSULT to everything pure wrestling stands for. So just to make myself clear, Bart and Brett-San...stay in the locker room but help me out if I need it. Bart-San and Brett-San - HAI, SENSEI! (bowing in front of Ino) Ino - Undefeated in Supreme Sports Entertainment Federation. Yes, I still see it as true. Never been pinned, will not be pinned tonight. Hsssssss...</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Lobster Warrior (w/John Anderson) vs Koshiro Ino - Standard Match for vacant SWF United States Title (57/D+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/LobsterWarrioralt2.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/KoshiroIno_zpsd15edb74.jpg</div> - Even with John Anderson accompanying him to the ring, Lobster Warrior still gets a lot of cheers from the fans at Minute Maid Park, as well as some "USA! USA!" chants as he prepares to go up against a man derisively referred to by Eric Eisen as the "EEEEEEE-VIL Asian." - Lobby gets off to a good start, flooring Ino with a running clothesline, then applying the Lobster Pinch as Peter Michaels shouts "OH, THE HUMANITY, GOOD GAWD!" "Vintage Lobster Warrior," concurs Ana Garcia. - At 2:30, Lobby is still the better man among the two, wrapping Ino up in a Crustacean Clutch (Boston Crab) until the latter grabs for the ropes after repeatedly refusing to submit. - Ino finally gets something going at the 3:10 mark, countering a Lobster Trap and turning it into his vertical suplex variation, the Ino-Plex. Jez McArthuer counts ONE...TWO...KICKOUT! - The next two minutes have Lobby at Ino's mercy, as he tenderizes the comic book hero with several punches and kicks. At 5:30, he goes for the Kobra's Bite, but is foiled in his attempt, as Anderson throws some white powder in Ino's eyes with McArthuer's back turned! That allows Lobby to attack with the Shellfish Shock, as both men lie down on the mat, trying to regain energy. Biggz in Japan, watching backstage, are furious, and prepare to hit the ring to provide assistance. - Lobby is first to recover at 6:50, and as he pulls Ino up to his feet, it becomes apparent that the latter may have suffered a (kayfabe) concussion from the earlier Shellfish Shock. Ino tries to shake off the effects of the concussion, but can't seem to find an answer to Lobby's rest holds, then later on another attempt at the Lobster Trap, which lands successfully. - Before Lobby can go for the cover, Bart-San and Brett-San pop out of nowhere, with Bart distracting McArthuer and Brett smashing Lobby from behind with a chair shot! Anderson, meanwhile, does nothing whatsoever as Michaels rails on him for "using" Lobby/Chris Morrisette for whatever devious purpose he may have. McArthuer counts ONE...TWO...THREE! Ino may be dazed and confused, but he knows he has won the first SWF United States Championship! He is helped out of the ring by Biggz in Japan, as the threesome heads backstage amid boos, catcalls and "USA! USA!" chants. WINNER - Ino in 8:39. Koshiro Ino is the FIRST SWF United States Champion.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Lobby Beats Down on Anderson (66/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/LobsterWarrioralt2.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/HumanArsenal_alt1_zps7506d11f.jpg</div> With Biggz in Japan and Koshiro Ino having made their exit, John Anderson enters the ring to help Lobster Warrior up to his feet and console him, while praising him for putting up a gallant effort. Anderson does that, but the moment Lobby gets to his feet, he kicks Anderson in the gut and lands the Shellfish Shock on him, drawing a huge cheer from the crowd! He kicks Anderson once before exiting the ring, still upset over how Anderson failed to help him when it counted the most, and upset that Bart-San and Brett-San once again helped Ino to a crucial victory.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Hero Squad © vs 24/7 Partay Dudez (w/Kristen Pearce and A-Prime) - Standard Match for SWF World Tag Team titles (68/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/AtomSmasher.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JungleJack.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/MainstreamHernandez_zps6c9b99e4.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/StevenParker_zps66188f51.jpg</div> - Hero Squad doesn't wait for their ring music to play out in full - instead, they arrive rushing from the locker room, only to encounter A-Prime at ringside! A-Prime lays both Captain Atomic and Jungle Lord out before the bell rings, and when Darren Smith notices this, he reacts by immediately banishing BOTH A-Prime and Kristen Pearce lest they risk disqualification, leaving the Partay Dudez no opportunity to cheat! - With A-Prime having slowed Hero Squad down earlier, the Partay Dudez have an edge in the first few minutes, effectively isolating Jungle Lord before he dodges a top-rope legdrop from Mainstream and tags Captain Atomic in at around 2:20. - Not quite a house on fire following the early hot tag, Atomic struggles to put Mainstream and Stevie away, but he does connect on a pumphandle slam at 4:10. ONE...TWO...Stevie breaks up the cover! - At 4:50, it's Jungle Lord and Stevie in the ring, and once again the momentum swings over to the Partay Dudez after Mainstream trips Jungle Lord from outside. This allows Stevie to set him up for the Platinum Record and cover him for a three-count. ONE...TWO...somehow Jungle Lord is able to kick out of that! - Mainstream is tagged in next, and his off-key falsetto "FEVER BEAT! FEEL THE FEVER BEAT!" means only one thing...he's going for the Fever Beat (Leaping Single-Arm DDT) on Jungle Lord! Unfortunately for Mainstream, that gets blocked, and Jungle Lord goes for a desperation backbreaker to set up another series of hot tags! - Now we can see Captain Atomic really unloading. At 7:00, the Radioactive Wrecking Machine gets tagged in, and as he enters the ring, he relentlessly peppers Stevie with punches, forearms and, following a kick to the midsection, the Mushroom Cloud! Stevie is down, he's out, and Darren Smith is counting. ONE...TWO...could Hero Squad retain?...THREE! Hero Squad remains champions, and Captain Atomic and Jungle Lord celebrate by doing the Dance of Joy! WINNER - Hero Squad in 7:53. Hero Squad are STILL the SWF World Tag Team Champions.</div></blockquote> TO BE CONTINUED...

3rdStringPG · July 16, 2013

OOC - As you'll see in the event statistics below, I got a 91 thanks to a few extras I sprung for. The special set is self-explanatory, though I've yet to edit in a minor band or C-list celebrity into the show. That might follow within the next few days. Still, this is the highest PPV grade I've gotten all year, and I wish I knew about the extras back when I was booking Supreme Challenge... <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/SWF_WelcomeJungle_zps06377af5.jpg</div> SWF Welcome to the Jungle Minute Maid Park (Texas - Mid-South) Saturday, August 17, 2013 (Week Two) WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (PART 2): <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Davids Rants About Valiant and Greed (73/B-)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/DesDavids.jpg</div> Unlike Supreme Challenge XXXIII, where Ana Garcia and Jason Azaria alternated as backstage interviewers, it looks like Azaria is fully responsible for backstage interviews at Welcome to the Jungle. His next interview subject is Des Davids, who had recently teased a face turn by calling out Steve Frehley on his misguided attempts at promoting "Black Power." Azaria - In just a few moments from now, we'll be watching Valiant defend his North American title in a Chairs Match against two men - Des Davids and John Greed. Valiant and Davids, if you'll remember, have some animosity dating back to January, when the former Notre Dame All-American and Heisman Trophy candidate turned on BOTH Valiant and American Machine in a six-man tag match against Jack Giedroyc, Paul Huntingdon, and his future Can't Miss Prospects teammate Marc DuBois. And a couple months after that, Davids had ended the career of his and Valiant's former teammate American Machine in a vicious beatdown involving what used to be known as Chase SinCorporated. (approaches Davids) Des, what are your thoughts heading into tonight's Chairs Match? Davids - It's been a long time comin' for me...for close to a year I was tag team champion with American Machine, till I realized he was holdin' me down. (sounding vaguely remorseful) Yes, I may have gone too far, but at least I proved a point. Thanks to The Chase Agency slash SinCorporated and The Almighty Dollar, I have risen up the ranks, held tag team gold with a true equal in Marc DuBois, and now it's time for me to prove I can hold my own in singles. Valiant better cherish that North American belt while he has it, because I'm gonna win that title tonight with the sheer power of the QB Sack. Azaria - But what about John Greed, whom you used to be allies with in Chase SinCorporated? Do you consider him a threat, or do you see him as a potential ally against Valiant? Davids - Lemme admit somethin' to you, Jason. Among all the members and ex-members of Chase SinCorporated I had sinned with, John Greed was the one I was least closest to. Whether he's a preacher or a savvy businessman, he's got some serious issues up there, and I definitely do not trust that man with anything. Never did, never will. (pauses) Hey, at least Vengeance has some smarts. Greed? He's always gonna be a follower...he ain't got the brains or balls to be anythin' more than that. Azaria - Sounds like fighting words indeed. One last question for you, Des, as I understand Vengeance and Brandon James are almost set for their ladder match. Have you any comments on your confrontation with Steve Frehley at the last Supreme TV? Davids - I have no respect for any black man who paints himself as the victim, even in this day and age, and uses that as an excuse to wage war on his former best friend. (stands up and walks away) Azaria - Well, there you have it - a very determined Des Davids, who has to be considered a favorite in tonight's North American title match, though the same can be said about Valiant. That leaves John Greed as the dark horse, and he's certainly going to rely on the strength of numbers to even the odds in his favor. Don't go away, people, because after the break, we've got Brandon James defending his Nothing to Lose Briefcase and contract against the big, ornery vigilante Vengeance!</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Lobby Sorry Over Ino Injury (67/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/LobsterWarrioralt2.jpg</div> After a brief glimpse of Brandon James and Vengeance preparing for their match from their respective corners, Peter Michaels announces that Koshiro Ino has received a clean bill of health following his match against Lobster Warrior, but the underwater hero remains unconvinced; he still believes he may have rung Ino's bell in the U.S. title match as a result of an especially powerful Shellfish Shock. Sitting in the locker room upset over both his loss and Ino's kayfabe injury, Lobby is comforted in this segment by Nicky Champion, who at least gets some time onscreen despite still being injured and not being booked for any main show matches... Lobby - THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR TRUSTING JOHN ANDERSON AND IGNORING THE MEN UNDA PRESSURE!!! He's the one who told me to blast Ino with the Shellfish Shock and do it extra-hard. (pauses) Some hero I'm gonna be for the little kids... Champion - If there's anyone who knows what heroes are about, it's Nicky Champion, and Nicky Champion sees one helluva hero in Lobster Warrior. You may have lost to that big, bad Kobra, but Nicky Champion has two words. Rematch clause. If you ask Nicky Champion, I think he's faking it. Doc himself said he's healthy. Lobby - What good's it gonna be if he's really injured. (sighs) If you ask me, I'd probably want another shot against that devious John Anderson before he ruins the life of yet another SWF Superstar. Champion - The choice is yours, Lobster Warrior, but if Nicky Champion was in your place, he'd take advantage of that rematch clause, bring the U.S. title back to the U.S. of A., and do it with a Lobster Trapper and a Shellfish Shocker and THAT WILL BE ALL SHE WROTE! UGH! Lobby (still disconsolate) - I wish I had your moxie, Nicky. Right now, I'm NOT more than just a name. In fact, I don't even know what name I should use going forward. Thanks anyway for trying, Nicky. Looking forward to seeing you back on Supreme TV.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Vengeance vs Brandon James (w/"Easy" Emma Chase) - Ladder Match for James' Nothing to Lose Briefcase (68/C+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/SkullDeBones_alt.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/BigCatBrandon_alt2.jpg</div> - Since making his return after a two-month vacation, Vengeance hasn't exactly set the world on fire, and that doesn't appear to be the case this time, as he faces up against another worker with average psychology, Brandon James. His declining skills are quite apparent close to the three-minute mark, as he struggles to bash James with one of the ladders outside. James tries to sell the blow as a powerful one, but he's never been the best in that department either, so we're off to a not-so-promising start... - Business appears to pick up at 4:30, as James climbs the ladder and appears inches away from grabbing the briefcase he won just one month ago, but gets knocked down as Vengeance rams his shoulder against the ladder. With James down on the mat, Vengeance takes advantage by picking him up and setting him up for a full nelson bomb against the ladder. - From 5:00 to 7:30, Vengeance focuses on punishing James rather than making a climb for the briefcase, but gets stopped in his tracks by Emma Chase and her "dollar signs" - that prevents him from setting up the Skull Krusher. Vengeance appears quite distracted for a few moments, but with James still down, the one-time Father of Sin raises Easy Emma in the air, as if to chokeslam her on the mat, but puts her down gently after getting what he wants - scaring her straight in hopes of avoiding future distractions. - The damage may have been done, though, as James has recovered to the point where he can convincingly whack Vengeance with a ladder! He does just that before showing off his strength and fallaway slamming Vengeance against the guardrail! At 9:40, James makes his first serious climb up the ladder since the four-and-a-half minute mark. - Unfortunately for Big Money, Vengeance is able to rock the ladder just as James is mere centimeters away from grabbing the briefcase, and despite several kicks to shoo Vengeance away, the vigilante keeps coming back! Vengeance gets a huge pop after grabbing James' collar with his right hand, hoisting him off the ladder, and chokeslamming him to the mat with the Six Feet Under! Vengeance delivers a Skull Krusher for the coup de grace, and it looks like he's all set to climb the ladder unmolested. - It isn't James who interrupts Vengeance's climb this time, but a New Chase Agency employee - John Greed has hit the ring to provide support, and he does just that by grabbing Vengeance from behind and pulling him off the second to the last step! It's all legal in this match, and as Greed Crash Diets Vengeance against another ladder, James slowly starts climbing up, step by step until he unlatches the briefcase and hoists it high in the air, having retained it in a tough match against the former Chase SinCorporated chairman. WINNER - James in 12:56. Brandon James retains possession of the Nothing to Lose Briefcase and the general championship contract therein.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Frehley Rants About Bruce, Argues with Fan (82/B)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/SteveFrehley_alt4_zps4c333206.jpg</div> After the ring is cleared following the Vengeance vs James Ladder Match, Steve Frehley takes his turn to speak ahead of his SWF World Heavyweight title match, and just like he did last time, he's peppering his promo with a lot of racial undertones. Frehley - Why am I not surprised that Jack Bruce had to make his guarantee and refer to a WHITE quarterback whose numbers weren't worth s--- when he gave the NFL a break by retirin' a few years before I was born. Of course. Jack Bruce will always be droppin' names of quarterbacks, because it's a WHITE position. But that's not why I've always hated Jack Bruce. I've always hated him because he's everythin' symbolic of America's fascination with material obsession. More gold records. More p---y. More drugs. More illegitimate children. And most of all, more brain-dead wannabes killin' their brain cells just because they're creamin' their pants on the Cream of the Crop. If y'all need proof of how STUPID the SWF Galaxy really is, you got it right there. Just don't tell me I didn't warn y'all when I win that title back and spit on the face of yer fallen hero, as I teach him all there is to know about the Frehley Way. After this passage, it looks like Frehley has more to say, but he stops in the middle of his promo as he notices a 12-year-old African-American boy in the front row holding a sign that reads "STILL A FREHLEY-NATIC - RAP > CREAM OF CRAP." The boy is actually the son of the SWF's James Earl Jones Sound-Alike Voiceover, a "plant" in an angle that the SWF hopes would make Steve Frehley even more despicable. Frehley - What's your name, kid? Boy - Rashaan. Frehley (glaring at the boy) - Rashaan WHAT? Boy - My name is Rashaan, Mr. Frehley. Frehley - That your sign? You cheerin' for me later against Jack Bruce? Boy - Yes sir, Mr. Frehley. Frehley - That's nice to hear, Rashaan. Now if I may have your sign for a few moments... Having said that, Frehley grabs "Rashaan"'s sign and RIPS IT INTO SHREDS, tossing the discarded sign at the boy and his mother. Mother - Mr. Frehley, you are a DISGRACE to the Supreme Wrestling Federation and the SWF Galaxy at large! My son has been cheerin' for you since he was three years old. What's the matter with his poster, huh? Don't like his artwork? Don't like the fact that he used MILDER language than you do? You oughta be ashamed... Frehley - SHUT UP, B---H!!! I ripped that little f---'s poster because one, that "Rap > Cream of the Crap" text in there is a classic example of how my fellow black men stereotype our race. Two, I don't believe that punk kid was sincere. (notices that "Rashaan" is in tears) What's the matter, baby? Can't accept the fact that your supposed hero is tellin' y'all the truth? Y'all just like the rest of these Houston hicks. Y'ALL AIN'T S---!!!</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Greed Gets Ready (56/D+)</div> As the Supreme-Tron gives us a quick look at John Greed fixing his tie, laughing maniacally and getting ready for his match, Duane Fry reminds us of what's currently trending on Twitter - #FrehleySux and #BruceWontLose.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Valiant © (w/Hannah) vs Des Davids (w/Richie Pangrazzio Jr. and Marc DuBois) vs John Greed (w/"Easy" Emma Chase and The Zim) - Chairs Match for SWF North American title (74/B-)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/Valiantalt_zps2d1f1d31.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/DesDavids.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JohnGreedalt.jpg</div> - The match begins with all three men trying to prevent the others from exiting the ring and grabbing a chair or two - we see this for about two minutes, as Greed plays it smart and allows Valiant and Davids to exchange low-impact moves and rest holds, only taking action when either man tries to leave the ring. - At 2:30, Greed sneakily leaves the ring, but is followed outside by Valiant and Davids, as the three competitors all guard against the other, tossing chairs out of the way to make sure nobody gains an advantage by grabbing one. Thanks to The Zim's pelvic thrust distraction, Greed becomes the first man to grab a chair, and he uses it right away on Davids. He swings at Valiant, but misses badly as Valiant gets a chair of his own and evens things up. - At the midway point, Greed and Davids are battling it out in the ring as Valiant tries to recover, having just kicked out of a Crash Diet onto a chair. Peter Michaels explains that Davids and The Zim still get along quite well, but that's soon to be disproven. Meanwhile, Davids is able to break out of a headlock and run the ropes to set up a Quarterback Sack. He nails Greed with it and Sam Sparrow starts counting. ONE...TWO...KICKOUT! Sparrow continues giving The Can't Miss Prospects a hard time, as DuBois yells "THAT WAS TOO SLOW, SAM!" from outside. - Valiant continues to struggle at around 7:20, breaking up a Greed cover attempt and suplexing Greed onto the mat. Valiant, unfortunately, is too weak at this point, and gets grabbed from behind by Davids and nailed with a backbreaker. Davids chooses to cover Greed, but to his surprise, The Zim runs in and bashes him on the head with a steel chair! Marc DuBois enters the ring, also with a chair, and as DuBois and The Zim take their chair battle outside, Ana Garcia observes that the cornermen have been using more chairs than the actual competitors. - All three men lie in the ring and try to find a second wind for most of the eighth to ninth minute, but Greed is first to recover and leave the ring - Chase hands him a steel chair for use against either Davids or Valiant. Greed decides to use the chair against Valiant, but he is surprisingly able to parry the blow and get to his feet as the two struggle for control of the chair! By this time, Davids is up and he doesn't have DuBois to hand him any chairs - he and The Zim had fought all the way back to the locker room. - As a result, Davids is too late as Valiant seizes the chair from Greed, knocks him out with it, and delivers the finishing touches with a V-Split. ONE...TWO...THREE! Valiant remains North American champion, and for Davids, it's a heart-rending loss, considering how The Zim, whom he had still thought of as an ally, betrayed him, and how DuBois wasn't around to provide assistance when he needed it the most. WINNER - Valiant in 10:03. Valiant is STILL the SWF North American Champion.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Champion Psyches Up Faith (88/B+)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/NickyChampion_alt.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/ChristianFaith.jpg</div> Once again, more Nicky Champion screen time to make up for his inactivity in the ring. In here, he gives Christian Faith some much-needed moral support as he prepares for his Number One Contender match against Remo. Champion - Nicky Champion thinks he may have taken care of your Khoklov problem. The guy never expected me to come out there and beat him, so I'm guessin' he's got his tail between his legs and doesn't wanna show his face. Faith - He's probably angrier now, if anything else. I'm prepared for Marat, and chances are he's gonna be there for Remo if he can't go lend Rich Money a hand in his title match. Champion - Good point, Christian, but Khoklov or no Khoklov, Nicky Champion says you gotta be careful out there. Now it ain't over till Tommy puts the fear of Gilmore into the Moneyman, but Nicky Champion knows you can drive another stake through The Almighty Dollar's heart by puttin' that Alpha Dog to sleep. Faith - So do I, Nicky. (pauses for a few seconds for the right effect) I have Faith.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - James Receives Mystery Text (76/B-)</div> Well, not really a mystery text in the truest sense, as it came from Emma Chase. Brandon James is backstage with John Greed as the latter gets taped up following the earlier Chairs Match when he receives the text: "You did great tonight, Brandon. Just got off phone w/[redacted's initials]. Reunion w/David @ Under Control." After James reads the text to Greed, the Eighth Deadly Sin doesn't seem to get what it means. The announcers pretend to be just as baffled, but David could refer to Danger and Violence Extreme (DaVE). That said, we could be having a possible Hardcore Match at Under Control, featuring Brandon James versus a former DaVE standout.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Christian Faith vs Remo - Standard Number One Contender Match for SWF World Heavyweight title (74/B-)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/ChristianFaith.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/Remo.jpg</div> - Neither Faith nor Remo has really had much of a build-up leading to this match, but both men make viable opponents to either Jack Bruce or Steve Frehley in the next World Heavyweight title match. Frehley vs Faith for the title could continue their blood feud, while Bruce vs Remo would allow the Alpha Dog a chance for revenge. Frehley vs Remo could revive an old feud between the two brawlers, and Bruce vs Faith could be a babyface classic where Faith aims to be the second five-time World Heavyweight champ. Possibilities aside, it looks like Faith is off to a good start, with a suplex on Remo and a quick cover. ONE...KICKOUT! - After not getting much offense in from minutes one to three, Remo seizes an opportunity at around 3:40, rolling away from a Christian Faith splash and attacking the Supreme Legend with a DDT. Remo follows that up with a Big Leg Drop and goes for the cover. Shane Stones counts ONE...TWO...KICKOUT! - Faith regains momentum quickly enough, reversing a headlock from Remo and blasting the Alpha Dog with two Faith Hammers. But that offensive run is short-lived, as Faith's attempt at a powerbomb is brilliantly countered into a Lumbar Puncture! Remo lands this move at 7:00 and immediately covers Faith. ONE...TWO...KICKOUT AT TWO AND A HALF! Remo looks frustrated as Stones fails to give him the quick win. - Though Remo didn't put Faith away that easily, this is the time where the big, bad heel beats down relentlessly on the Supreme Legend. And there aren't too many heels bigger or badder than Remo - he systematically wears Faith down, not going for any cover at all until the twelfth minute, when he sees Faith getting up and sets up The Destroyer. This should surely be it....ONE...TWO...Stones is about to pound his fist on the mat...KICKOUT AT THE LAST SPLIT-SECOND! - Faith kicking out causes Remo to once again argue with Stones, but this time, it's more intense and drawn-out. That gives Faith time to rally back with the Faith-Up, and after Remo resigns himself to resuming the match, he is surprised to see Faith seemingly back at 100 percent! And here come the Machine Gun Faith Hammers! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN BIONIC ELBOWS ON THE ALPHA DOG! Marat Khoklov starts stomping towards the ring to try to help Remo, but is prevented from taking action by Nicky Champion, who's doing his part to help his friend out in this match. - After taking a good beating from Faith, Remo tries to turn things around at 14:30 with a Three Point Stance, but that gets countered into a clothesline, as the Faith-Up continues. And in what could be argued as an unexpected low point in this match, minutes 15 to 17 see Faith and Remo blocking or countering each other's basic moves in a slow-paced chess match. - The rest holds, blocks and low-level counters finally come to an end at 17:20, when Remo, hoping to hit The Destroyer, gets surprised by a reverse DDT from Faith - a "relic from the classic Christian Faith era", says Peter Michaels. (This was Faith's main finisher when he started moving up the card in the early '90s.) The vintage move leads to a cover, and Stones starts counting. ONE...TWO...THREE! Remo has once again failed The Almighty Dollar, and it's safe to say Rich Money is not happy with the result of this match. WINNER - Faith in 17:29. Christian Faith is the number one contender for the SWF World Heavyweight title.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Faith Celebrates (83/B)</div> A loud "WE HAVE FAITH!" cheer erupts as Remo exits the ring and allows the Supreme Legend to celebrate his victory. As Faith leaves to exchange handshakes and high-fives with fans and walk back to his omnipresent Harley, Duane Fry mercilessly insults Remo for being an "underachiever" and worse, a "sissy who allowed himself to get beaten by his grandfather." Could Remo be on the outs with The Almighty Dollar? We'll have to wait till Supreme TV to find out, though all is not lost - Rich Money has yet to set foot in the ring to defend his Supreme Heavyweight title.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Frehley Gets Ready (77/B-)</div> Standard footage of a worker, in this case Steve Frehley, getting ready for his match and walking out of the locker room. Duane Fry uses this segment as a chance to plug the SWF App, though that darned app may come in handy for Under Control, the SWF's "for the fans, by the fans" PPV.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Jack Bruce © vs Steve Frehley - Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match for SWF World Heavyweight title (82/B)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JackBruce_alt14_zpsa4377f81.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/SteveFrehley_alt4_zps4c333206.jpg</div> - This is it - the so-called "Jungle Match" of Welcome to the Jungle, where tables, ladders and chairs can openly be used against each other, with no threat of disqualification to worry about. A rather somber-looking Jack Bruce hits the ring to a huge applause from the Minute Maid Park crowd, while Steve Frehley enters to "some of the loudest boos ever heard at an SWF event", according to Peter Michaels. - For starters, we see Frehley taking advantage of Bruce's distracted state of mind, as he blocks a few Bruce punches and lets loose with a brutal short-arm clothesline. He then exits the ring, throws in a chair, then reenters to beat Bruce silly with the chair. "I've never seen anything like this since Eric Eisen attacked Tom Gilmore at Break Like the Wind last year," says Michaels. - The punishment on Bruce continues at 4:30 - the Cream of the Crop gets bodyslammed on the ladder inside the ring, and it's a miracle he hasn't been busted open yet. Frehley then pulls Bruce outside to continue the brutality, whipping him against the steel steps and setting him up for more chair abuse. - At 7:00, we're back in the ring, and Frehley's still in full control of this match, repeatedly smashing Bruce's face against the turnbuckle. Now he's busted wide open, and while the color adds to the sympathy, it's clear that those mental distractions have really thrown his game plan out of whack. Not surprisingly, we haven't seen a cover attempt at this point. - Frehley still has Bruce on the losing end of things at 8:30, and is prepared to execute the Launch Pad Suplex on his hapless foe. Instead of "launching" Bruce against the ladder, Bruce reverses the move by landing on his feet and doing the unthinkable - flooring Frehley with a reverse DDT neckbreaker! Bruce, however, is in no shape to go for a cover. - The match is at its midway point at about 11:30, and Bruce has gotten some momentum at this point, brawling it out with Frehley outside the ring. This time, the Launch Pad Suplex is successful, as the Dark Destroyer catches Bruce unawares and sends him crashing on a table! That makes it a trifecta for Frehley, though hurting one's opponent with a table, ladder and chair all in the same match won't count as a win... - Bruce continues to bleed profusely as we move closer to 15 minutes...he's since recovered from the table break, but is, as of now, trying to recover from a Frehley's Comet that he had barely kicked out of. He's been on the losing end for most of this match, and as he gets up to his feet, he notices that someone special is in the audience... <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/ErnestYoungman-1_zps11df3c75.jpg</div> - It's Jack's son Bobby, and that gives him an unexpected second wind as he gets lured out of the ring by Frehley. That turns out to be a mistake for the Dark Destroyer, as Bruce pulls off a double underhook suplex on Frehley against one of the outside ladders! Ric Young seems tired trying to keep up with these two, but he's gamely trying to keep things under control. - A Frehley's Comet on Bruce breaks this sudden rush of momentum at 19:30, and with both men back in the ring, Young starts counting. ONE...TWO...KICKOUT AT 2.8 OR 2.9??? - Still, that's not enough to throw Bruce off, as he's clearly doing everything to make his (kayfabe) son proud. Following a couple blocked Frehley moves and a parried ladder shot, Bruce moves to his favorite spot - right behind his opponent - and takes Frehley out with the New York Minute! Young counts once again, and this one could be over. ONE...TWO...THREE!!!! Jack Bruce still has the World Heavyweight title, and he and Frehley have pulled off a surprisingly strong match that's probably the best they've had all year. WINNER - Bruce in 22:15. Jack Bruce is STILL the SWF World Heavyweight champion.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Bobby Bruce Beats Down on Dad (48/D-)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/ErnestYoungman-1_zps11df3c75.jpghttp://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/JackBruce_alt14_zpsa4377f81.jpg</div> Following the win, Jack Bruce is joined in-ring by his longer-haired son Bobby, and the two Bruces seem glad to see each other again, hugging it out as Bobby tells Jack how sorry he is for having said those things on the "tribute video." But it's all a ruse, as Bobby pushes Jack away just seconds after the hug, and runs behind his dear ol' dad to knock him out with the New York Minute! For the real-life Ernest Youngman, it's not a bad replication of Jack Bruce's signature move, though he could use a bit more improvement if he also wants to make the New York Minute his finisher.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">Tom "Angry" Gilmore vs Rich Money © (w/Lisa Bowen) - Standard Match for SWF Supreme Heavyweight title (91/A)</div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/AngryGilmore.jpg vs http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm87/endshiftresign/TEW%202013/RichMoney_alt1.jpg</div> - Of course there had to be a catch - according to Money, Lisa Bowen is not his manager, nor is she an Almighty Dollar faction member. She's his girlfriend and now his fiancee, and Money makes this point clear by slipping a ring on her finger and going down on bended knee to propose, much to referee Darren Smith's chagrin. Understandably, this pisses off the hot Texas crowd, as they want to see two men fighting for the SWF's second main-event belt, and not this sappy hokum. - Without Jessie around to restrain him, Gilmore unloads on Money before the bell even rings, but the first two minutes see a lot of punches and slaps no-sold by both men. Gilmore ends this at 2:20 by landing a DDT on the Moneyman. ONE...KICKOUT! Standard DDTs don't usually serve as finishers nowadays... - A back suplex from Rich Money at 4:50 helps set up a single leg grapevine, and for a moment, Gilmore looks to be in trouble. As Gilmore tries to grab for the ropes, the crowd taunts Money about his recent loss to Valiant, but that doesn't really make him lose his focus. Eventually, Gilmore breaks free of the hold and tries to regain his momentum. - After both men openly exchange offense, Gilmore dodges a Money clothesline attempt, and snap suplexes the Moneyman for the Sky High Setup. Gilmore's climbing the top rope for the Sky High Elbow, but Lisa Bowen shakes the ropes for her fiancee and sends Gilmore crashing down! Smith gives Bowen a very stern warning, but stops short of disqualifying Money, knowing that Lisa is Uprising GM and the Commissioner's daughter. - This illegal move allows Money to take control, and he's firmly in charge from the tenth to the fifteenth minute. Gilmore has a brief moment where he reverses a Money small package, but that's kicked out of at the one count. Money goes for another submission at 14:20, but Gilmore valiantly (no pun intended for Money) breaks the camel clutch. Gilmore looks to be out of it, and following a sidewalk slam on the SWF's Original Straight Edge Superstar, Money climbs the top rope for the Dollars from Heaven. It connects, and Smith starts counting. ONE...TWO...KICKOUT! Gilmore's still in this one! - Gilmore begins his comeback at the 16:30 mark by blocking a DDT, then a gutwrench suplex. With his energy slowly returning, Gilmore goes for a side Russian legsweep on Money, and goes for the cover. ONE...Money reverses the roll-up...ONE...TWO...KICKOUT! Neither man looks to be at 100 percent as Bowen argues with Smith about what she feels is a slow count. - Still, it's not a full-fledged comeback, as Money is able to hit the Money in the Bank at 18:40 and go for a cover. ONE...TWO...KICKOUT AT TWO AND A HALF! Bowen is still complaining about a slow count, and with Smith having had enough of her whining, he sends Bowen to the locker room, fines or suspensions be damned! - Despite his fiancee's banishment, Money is confident of retaining the belt as he goes for a Bank Roll on a woozy-looking Gilmore at around 22:40. Gilmore, however, moves out of the way and starts feeding off the crowd's cheers of "AN-GRY! AN-GRY! AN-GRY!" as he teases the Anger Management! - With Money going for the S.T.O. as a probable setup for the Dollars from Heaven, Gilmore blocks this move, stuns Money with an uppercut, and delivers some Anger Management on the hated Almighty Dollar leader! Could this be it? Smith starts counting...ONE...TWO...THREE!!!!! WE HAVE A NEW SUPREME HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! It's been a long time coming for Angry Gilmore, and while this isn't the big one per se, it's a main event belt nonetheless. And, as Peter Michaels and Duane Fry mention, Tom "Angry" Gilmore has also thwarted Rich Money and Remo's plans of being the first Triple Crown champs in SWF history! By winning Supreme Heavyweight, Gilmore can now add to his existing North American and Tag Team (w/Joe Sexy as Sexual Aggression) belts. Meanwhile, Gilmore is quickly joined in the ring by... WINNER - Gilmore in 24:04. Tom "Angry" Gilmore is the NEW SWF Supreme Heavyweight Champion.</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">ANGLE - Gilmore Celebrates (76/B-)</div> ...Jessie, the Gilmore kids, Men Unda Pressure Jack Bruce and (apparently) Darryl Devine, Nicky Champion, lower-card babyfaces KP Avatar, Remmy Skye and Cam Vessey, and several fans brave enough to jump the guardrail and join in the celebration. It's a truly magical moment for Gilmore, and even Duane Fry has to admit Gilmore gave one helluva effort against his idol, the Moneyman. Conspicuously absent in this celebration is Lobster Warrior, who continues to be tormented by his inability to come up strong against the Men Unda Pressure's foes, as well as his own non-Almighty Dollar rivals. Now this might not mean a heel turn for Lobby, but it could be a harbinger for a significant announcement from the original kid-friendly underwater hero...</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="35955" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>SWF Welcome to the Jungle Overall Grade - 91/A (Minor Band, C-List Celeb, $50,000 Special Set) Increased Popularity in 19 Regions PPV Buyrate - 4.34</div></blockquote>

Big Roguey · July 16, 2013

Cracking show 3rdString, I always look forward to reading your shows and this knocked it out of the park!

White Dolphin · July 16, 2013

WINNER - Gilmore in 24:04. Tom "Angry" Gilmore is the NEW SWF Supreme Heavyweight Champion.

<img alt="images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRzC4TtuKKD5sUrarC8qY-kGP9T8eqpT8rYlNiR7B1wdah-um7s2klZQT0k" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRzC4TtuKKD5sUrarC8qY-kGP9T8eqpT8rYlNiR7B1wdah-um7s2klZQT0k" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Eidenhoek · July 16, 2013

Spoilers: Gilmore loses the belt on Supreme TV. Or whatever the next show is.

Edit: Crap, can't remember Mr. Digimon's name. Kai? Something?

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SWF: Sunday Nights Counting Lights - The Continuing Saga of KP Avatar

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