EVIL-The Autobiography of David Stern

Swagger · August 7, 2013

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The Autobiography of David Stern

"The stories you know, the stories you don't, and the stories you'd never believe if they didn't come out of of the man's mouth himself...." -New York Times

"Jaw dropping truth and honesty from the czar of North American sports commissioners." -Boston Globe

"Sportswriters have whispered about some of this stuff in NBA cities for years, usually after a few adult beverages, but I never thought we'd be getting confirmation from Stern himself that some of the myths were, indeed, facts." -LA Times

-Coming Soon-

Swagger · August 10, 2013

<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="<a href="http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg.html" rel="external nofollow">http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg.html"</a> target="_blank"><img src="<a href="http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg" rel="external nofollow">http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg"</a> border="0" alt=" photo SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg"/></a></div>

Even though they don’t seem to know it about themselves, when it comes to sports, what people want is to have a story told to them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a local college or university they follow, or a professional team, they support their favorite teams, their favorite players, without ever being curious about where their team sits in the cast of characters, so to speak.

Shakespeare wrote “Act well your part; therein lies the glory.”

This section of my memoir will focus on the multitude of times I used my abilities as commissioner and czar of the NBA to arrange things as I saw fit to help continue the growth of the league. It is my belief that the narrative nature of the NBA’ s story is directly responsible for its largesse and that I am to thank for creating it.

<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="<a href="http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/Orlando_zps3c63af6b.gif.html" rel="external nofollow">http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/Orlando_zps3c63af6b.gif.html"</a> target="_blank"><img src="<a href="http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/Orlando_zps3c63af6b.gif" rel="external nofollow">http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/Orlando_zps3c63af6b.gif"</a> border="0" alt=" photo Orlando_zps3c63af6b.gif"/></a></div>

<div style="text-align:center;">The Orlando Magic</div>

Orlando, a city with none of the other “big four” sports franchises, drops into my lap, with the Disney folks looking to put an expansion team into the league. Being one of the biggest tourist markets in the entire universe would all but ensure steady ticket sales, but we’d need to have a product that the casual fan would be able to identify. Even after going 18-65 in their first season and 31-51 in their sophomore campaign, in that second year, the Magic still sold out 40 of their 41 home games.

Enter Shaquille O’Neal.

I could tell from the national reaction the first time he ripped down a rim at LSU that he was going to be a goldmine for the league. His skills were only matched by his personality and his oh-so-marketable smile.

They improved to a .500 record and their merchandise was among the most sought in the country.

Setting up the ping-pong balls worked so well; there’s a reason we do it off camera. The owners are into it. They understand. We are all in this to make money and we make money together, as a league-there’s enough for everyone. No one seemed to notice how conveniently I turned their playoff near-miss into a second straight lottery win, though. That was an artist’s masterstroke, in my opinion. Not only did I get them the player they needed to move forward, lanky Memphis point guard Penny Hardaway, but I had them draft Chris Webber first overall and then ship him to Golden State for Hardaway (who they took at #3)…and three future first round picks. It set them up for success for the next decade and a half.

Active Jerichoholic · August 10, 2013

Absolutely love this concept, and your info is very well researched and presented. Can't wait for more. <img alt="

" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/smile.png.142cfa0a1cd2925c0463c1d00f499df2.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

DanMTheMan · August 10, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Active Jerichoholic" data-cite="Active Jerichoholic" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36518" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Absolutely love this concept, and your info is very well researched and presented. Can't wait for more. <img alt=":)" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/smile.png.142cfa0a1cd2925c0463c1d00f499df2.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div></blockquote> ^ I agree fully with the nice fella I'm quoting. Love the concept!

Swagger · August 11, 2013

<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="<a href="http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg.html" rel="external nofollow">http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg.html"</a> target="_blank"><img src="<a href="http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg" rel="external nofollow">http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg"</a> border="0" alt=" photo SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg"/></a></div>

<div style="text-align:center;">-The Decision-</div>

Lebron James, even as a high schooler, was poised to be our next big meal ticket as a league. Having him land in Cleveland in 2003, a long beleaguered franchise longing for the days of Brad Daugherty, Craig Ehlo, and Hot Plate Williams, was only natural, considering his ties to Akron. Admittedly though, it was a bit of a whiff in that, the future king couldn’t get out of his own way with the Cavs, never reaching the promised land of an NBA title.

But when he reached his free agent year, there was only one David Stern approved destination; there was only one place that we could steer him to make sure he was the straw that stirred our drink for the next decade. And say what you will about the other suitors, Pat Riley’s legend, or Dwayne Wade’s recruiting skills, the one and only reason King James ended up in South Beach suiting up for the Miami Heat was me.

In doing so, I created the NBA’s public enemy number one. I copied the MLB’s Yankees template; having a super heel that everyone hates boosts attendance and TV ratings across the board, no matter who the other team is. Heck, he even started scowling and really embracing the bad-guy act for us.

The result? Two titles, millions of dollars in merchandise sales, and league-wide sales spikes whenever the dark circus came to your town.

I’ll do it again in two years when Lebron opts out of his contract with Miami and rejoins the Cavaliers, bringing him full circle, giving the casual fan a reason to root for him again and solidifying the basketball market in Cleveland for the foreseeable future.

Two birds, one stone. Or should I say, one king....

Swagger · August 12, 2013

<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="<a href="http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg.html" rel="external nofollow">http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg.html"</a> target="_blank"><img src="<a href="http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg" rel="external nofollow">http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg"</a> border="0" alt=" photo SternAP_zps332f976f.jpg"/></a></div>

There are a number of “what if” scenarios in the long history of the league’s original monarchy, The Boston Celtics. But there’s only one I had my hand in.

-The Bird for Jordan Deal-

This one has gained popularity as time goes on, particularly due to what Michael Jordan became as his career evolved. But at the time it was proposed, Larry Bird was still one of the two or three undisputed kings of the NBA and Jordan was a hotshot youngster who hadn’t proven it for any significant stretch of time.

Still, it had legs, more than anyone imagined. The Celtics, in particular, were beginning to think about life after the big three and were known to have seriously entertained the idea of trading Bird. However, as fate would have it, they decided to keep their core intact and pursue another title with the Bird, Parish, McHale trio.

Larry would finish his career laying on the floor during breaks in his minutes while Michael Jordan would go on to become Michael Jordan, being like Mike en route to numerous championships, massive sneaker contracts, and global renown.

I had no input into the proposed deal because it never got past the phone chatter stages. If I had, I wouldn’t have signed off on it anyway.

-Len Bias and Reggie Lewis; The Big Two? 1986 and 1993-

As Larry Bird’s career was winding down, the Celtics had the opportunity to begin their next phase, landing the second choice in the 1986 NBA Draft and selecting Maryland standout Len Bias, who many scouts compared to Michael Jordan in terms of his explosiveness and willingness to attack the basket. But two nights after the draft, Bias died of a cocaine induced heart failure, crippling the C’s emotionally for the next couple of seasons and giving them no surefire star to build around. To this day, many pundits call Bias the best American-born talent to never play professionally.

As the Celts limped into the nineties, still somewhat hungover from the Bias tragedy, their fortunes seemed to be changing based on the play of developing Northeastern Huskie shooting guard Reggie Lewis. Drafted in 1987 and always connected to Len Bias because of their proximity, Lewis became an All-Star in 1992 and averaged 20.8 points per game in each of his last two seasons with the Celtics.

But tragedy would again find the Boston Celtics as Lewis suffered a sudden cardiac based death on the basketball court at an off-season practice on July 27, 1993, at Brandeis University in Waltham, Massachusetts. He was 27 years old.

-The 1997 Draft-

The Celtics in the early nineties had become all but irrelevant. They were too good to tear it all down and rebuild and too poor to even dream of competing for another championship and adding a fresh banner to the Garden’s rafters.

But the 1996-97 campaign saw them finish 15-67 giving the C’s a 36.31% chance of winning that year’s lottery, owning the Dallas Maverick’s choice as well.

The prize? Wake Forest power forward Tim Duncan, as attractive a cornerstone building block as had come along in years.

They would not go on to win the lottery, even with the odds overwhelmingly in their favor. The San Antonio’s Spurs would, grabbing Duncan, and leaving the Celtics, now picking fourth and sixth, too far away from the top of the draft to even select the two hundredth player erroneously dubbed “The Next Larry Bird”, Utah’s Keith Van Horn, who went second overall to the Sixers.

They would not be terribly relevant again until 2007, with the acquisitions of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen joining Paul Pierce in a rebirth of the big three.

Their big splash hiring of Kentucky basketball genius Rick Pitino, who took the job for the chance to coach Duncan, turned into a fiasco of epic proportions. His overall win loss record 102–146 from 1997 to 2001 paled in comparison to his collegiate success and the stress took its toll, leading to one of the more infamous post-game press conferences in NBA history, the famed “Larry Bird is not walking through that door…” speech.

While I had nothing to do with the Bias and Lewis tragedies, I had grown tired of both the Celtics royal attitude and the influx of college coaches signing huge deals to take the reins of NBA franchises. We needed to reward long term bench assistants not hope that men who coached boys could see their style translate to a league of men.

I also saw the Spurs as a long suffering type of franchise in an unstable mid-sized market. Giving them the opportunity to build another contender while putting my thumb into the eye of every Bostonian helped me sleep a bit better at night.

But what if that never happened? What if Boston had won the lottery in 1997? How would the history of the league been different? I have always wondered about it…

<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="<a href="http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/TimDuncan_zpsc84c7b44.jpg.html" rel="external nofollow">http://s1279.photobucket.com/user/swagger207/media/TimDuncan_zpsc84c7b44.jpg.html"</a> target="_blank"><img src="<a href="http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/TimDuncan_zpsc84c7b44.jpg" rel="external nofollow">http://i1279.photobucket.com/albums/y533/swagger207/TimDuncan_zpsc84c7b44.jpg"</a> border="0" alt=" photo TimDuncan_zpsc84c7b44.jpg"/></a></div>

3rdStringPG · August 13, 2013

SUBSCRIBED. Totally loving the Stern image on the first post! <img alt="

" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Briskout · August 14, 2013

Now I hate David Stern even more <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Totally reading

steveepee · August 31, 2013

I love the thought of a Celtic "curse" at the height of the 80s success..

never really looked at it that way

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