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Royal Highland Wrestling: The Best of British Wrestling (That 21CW Don't Want)


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You see this guy? This is Robert Etchinson, the Fridge Magnate, Scotland’s one and only millionaire and widely considered to be the spookiest Nicol Williamson soundalike in history (I’m not even kidding, it’s uncanny). As his let’s-face-it-not-that-funny nickname would suggest, Etchinson made his money in fridges, the big industrial kind, and as with any millionaire with time on his hands he decided that the best use of his money was to set up a wrestling company.

 

Okay, so that makes a lot more sense if you remember that his dad used to be a wrestler in the days when wrestling shows and travelling circuses were one and the same thing. Oh, and if you also remember that since Ring of Fire and MOSC closed down 21CW’s the only show in town, and sports entertainment, like vegetarian haggis and being polite to the English, is not something Robert’s into. Throw in a passion for old-school wrestling (the American style, ironically something that’s pretty new to Britain), and you can see why The Fridge Magnate decided to throw his financial oar into the grimy, marshy water that is the wrestling business.

 

 

Me? The name’s Dan Finkleton, though chances are you’ll know me better by my wrestling nom de plume Fink- the idea of my old trainer Adam Matravers, and a good one by my reckoning, nobody forgets the name once they hear it. Second non-wrestling graduate of the National School of Wrestling, first to not make it onto the 21CW roster, widely regarded (by me) as one of the finest up-and-coming young managers on the British independent scene, and as of December 2013 the man tasked with making Robert Etchinson’s Royal Highland Wrestling a functioning reality. Not that that last one’s a surprise or anything, I mean why else would I be talking to you if I wasn’t involved, right?

 

***

 

One of the big things you have to get used to with Robert is the meetings. Now, I’ve done my share of indy shows and indy booking, and generally it’s a pretty easy deal- you roll up two or three hours before belltime, sort out exactly what’s happening and let people know as they arrive- but with Robert, just about every week I hop on the train up to his base in Edinburgh and fill him in on what’s happening. Ironically it’d be easier for him to handle things than me- RHW’s promoting in Scotland and I’m still living down south- but hey, that’s the wrestling business for you, and the modern communications industry is a wonderful thing.

“Mr. Finkleton, come in, take a seat. Now, how are things progressing?”

 

Yes, he really does talk like that.

“Not bad- roster’s taking shape, we’ve got Billy Robinson and Nigel Svensson signed up and The Elimination Agents look like a pretty sure bet. Backstage I’ve signed Uppercut Bailey to run things, he’s a good guy, runs a tight ship so we shouldn’t have any trouble there. Oh, and I brought in a few guys from abroad- Menace and Matthew Macks from Europe and CJ’s coming back from the States.”

 

“Yes, I noticed that in the last set of contracts. One thing I didn’t notice was any local boys, workers of Scottish descent. Any reason for that?”

 

“There aren’t any? Look, Mr. Etchinson…”

 

Always call him Mr. Etchinson to his face- Robert’s big on manners and courtesy and that stuff.

“…there’s a handful of Scottish guys out there still working, and none of the ones we can afford are worth the candle. Don Henderson’s outside our price range right now, Geoff McPeterson’s out of the business and Michael X is busy with 21CW. We’ve got Genocide, he’s from Glasgow, but the likes of Axl Grease and The Scotsman? You said yourself you didn’t want that level of talent here.”

“Very well, we’ll move on. Now, what are we doing about commentary? I know we don’t have television yet but we still need someone to handle that for DVD’s and commercial releases”

 

Exactly what commercial releases we’ll be doing other than DVD’s I have no idea, but Robert’s like that sometimes.

“I’ve made an offer to Justin Blackham, the old Ring of Fire guy. He’s not the best out there but he’s affordable and has the knowledge down so he should fit pretty well with our product. As for Colour Commentary, I’ll be handling that with Davey Keane”

“Mr. Keane? Of course, the Irish manager. Isn’t he a little…comedic, for a company like us?”

“He’s a nice guy, a good talker and cheap, plus none of our wrestlers have a prayer of handling their own promos so what else can we do? Plus, I’ve had a couple of ideas on how we can use the two manager thing on the first show.”

 

“Indeed? What precisely are you intending?”

“Okay, so this is what I’m thinking…”

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RHW.com Presents: The Blackham Report

 

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g165/Looneyboyo/RHW/Justin%20Blackham_zps76own6ty.jpg

Hello there RHW fans! My name is Justin Blackham, and I’m here to present to you the all-new Blackham Report, in which I’ll be taking a look at the wrestlers, non-wrestlers and forthcoming events here in Royal Highlands Wrestling.

 

Now, a lot of people have been speculating about our forthcoming debut, RHW In a Big Country, and what exactly they can expect to see there. Well, the contracts have now been signed and it’s my pleasure to announce, exclusively to RHW.com, the RHW British Independent Challenge Series!

 

The rules are simple: Mr. Robert Etchinson, RHW’s owner, has approached two of the finest managers in British independent wrestling- Ireland’s own Wee Davey Keane and Fink Finkleton of Exeter- and tasked them with each assembling a team of six of the finest independent wrestlers in British Wrestling, to compete at our debut event in a best-of-five series, exhibiting the very finest wrestling the British Isles can see outside of 21st Century Wrestling. In addition to that, the winning manager will have booking control of our next show’s main event, wherein RHW intends to crown its first ever champion! Pretty exciting, isn’t it?

 

 

Now, not only do I have the exclusive news of the Independent Challenge Series, I’ve also managed to secure a look at both teams, so let’s take a look and see who our team managers have picked, shall we?

 

 

 

Team Shamrock Assault Squad

 

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Curtis ‘CJ’ Jenkins

Age: 29 Billed From: Manchester, England

Entrance Music: Roll with It- Oasis

Finisher: Fisherman’s Suplex

Returning to British shores after a stint working for the legendary Rip Chord in the States, CJ’s experience and technical skill makes him a very definite threat, and it’s not hard to see why Keane made a point of picking this guy for his team. Of course, it’s worth pointing out that this is CJ’s first appearance on home soil in nearly a decade- okay, so people won’t know his style, but will he know theirs?

 

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g165/Looneyboyo/RHW/Genocide%20Agent_zpsjcrjkc5u.jpghttp://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g165/Looneyboyo/RHW/Suicide%20Agent_zpsrefzefcb.jpg

Genocide & Suicide- The Elimination Agents

Ages: 32 & 31 Billed From: Glasgow, Scotland & Liverpool, England

Entrance Music: Helter Skelter- The Beatles

Finishers: Spear, Full Nelson Slam, Total Elimination (Spinning Heel-Kick/Spinning Leg Sweep Combo)

Both managers were required to select a tag team as part of their team for the Independent Challenge Series, and Davey Keane went out and got hold of former two-time 21CW Tag Team Champions The Elimination Agents. One of the most experienced tag teams on the British independent scene, the Agents have the power and physicality to win against anyone but aren’t the smartest, and with the managers barred from being at ringside that could play against them.

 

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‘King’ Kevin Welsh

Age: 20 Billed From: Limerick, Ireland

Entrance Music: Hall of Fame- The Script

Finisher: Crowning Glory (Pumphandle Go To Sleep)

The most recent graduate of British Samurai’s Ring of Fire Dojo, Kevin Welsh is a promising young rookie with a real knack for the brawl. He’s brave, and won’t take a back step against anyone, but let’s face it there can be a lot of good reasons to not go toe-to-toe with someone, and Kevin may well find himself in over his head during the Series.

 

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Matthew ‘Luck of the Irish’ Macks

Age: 25 Billed From: Dublin, Ireland

Entrance Music: Rat Trap- The Boomtown Rats

Finisher: Red Lightning (Swanton Bomb)

Currently plying his trade with VWA in Europe, Matthew makes his return to the British Isles as part of the Shamrock Assault Squad. He’s an experienced high flyer and current VWA Swiss Champion, but if he’s up against someone who can keep him grounded Matt’s not got many other strings to his bow.

 

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‘Wigan Strong’ Nigel Svensson

Age: 25 Billed From: Now Residing in Edinburgh, Scotland

Entrance Music: Immigrant Song- Led Zeppelin

Finishers: Hyper Extension Arm Lock (Cross Armlock), Running Knee Drive (Knee Plus)

Nigel Svensson’s been touted as one of the finest young wrestlers ever to come out of Scandinavia, and unlike near contemporaries like Stig Svensson and the Johansson brothers is an absolute master of Wigan-style mat wrestling. That, plus the speedy delivery of his Running Knee Drive, makes him possibly the biggest single threat on Team Shamrock Assault Squad, and you have to imagine that Finkleton has him well scouted.

 

 

 

Team Finkleton

 

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‘So Solid’ Billy Robinson

Age: 29 Billed From: Reading, England

Entrance Music: Turn Me Round- The Strawbs

Finisher: Capital City Crucifix (Cattle Mutilation)

Another technical specialist, Billy’s a veteran of the British independent scene and held multiple titles in Ring of Fire. As another master of Wigan-style wrestling you’d have to presume Billy will be looking to match up with Nigel Svensson, over whom he holds a considerable experience advantage.

 

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Dwayne ‘Furious’ Dark

Age: 24 Billed From: London, England

Entrance Music: Ghost Town- The Specials

Finisher: Darkness Falls (Knock-Out Punch)

A graduate of the National School of Wrestling, Dwayne’s background in boxing makes him one of the most dangerous competitors in RHW, with an array of strikes that probably outclasses anyone else on the roster- there’s a difference between the conventional brawl and the more disciplined striking game, and Fink’s clearly tried to exploit that with Dwayne’s recruitment. He’s still learning the ropes, though, and a sufficiently wily wrestler could cause Dwayne real problems if he keeps him on the ground and unable to unleash his fists.

 

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g165/Looneyboyo/RHW/Jacques%20DuPont_alt1_zpsnsvlvfty.jpghttp://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g165/Looneyboyo/RHW/Pierre%20DuPont_alt1_zpshajh2et1.jpg

Jacques and Pierre DuPont- The Foreign Legion

Ages: Both 26 Billed From: Castres, France

Entrance Music: La Marseillaise

Finishers: Ankle Locks, Vive Le France (Double Hot Shot)

An experienced tag team from Europe, the DuPont twins have teamed together their whole lives and it shows- whilst a lot of teams share their experience it’s rare to find one so perfectly in sync as the Foreign Legion. Given that their style very much revolves around grounded technical wrestling it’ll be interesting to see how they match up with the Elimination Agents, their most likely opponents in the Challenge Series.

 

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Menace

Age: 30 Billed From: Newcastle, England

Entrance Music: House of the Rising Sun- The Animals

Finisher: Ultimate Rejection (Elevated Powerbomb)

Easily the biggest man on the RHW roster, Menace has the power and skill to back up his size. A veteran of the European independent scene, he’s best known for his work with UEW, where he’s held the Nations Title on two separate occasions, and will likely be looking to impose the same kind of physical dominance on RHW that he’s had in Europe.

 

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‘The Ladies’ Favourite’ Michael Gregory

Age: 20 Billed From: Leeds, England

Entrance Music: All I Need is a Miracle- Mike + The Mechanics

Finisher: Running Powerslam

When you look at Michael Gregory, it can be hard to remember that he’s only been in the business less than a year- this is a big, powerful competitor, not quite on the level of Menace but plenty capable in his own right. That inexperience could be a major factor, though, and a lot will depend on who he matches up with- against someone like Macks or Welsh Greg’s in with a chance, but I wouldn’t fancy his chances against some of the veterans on Team S.A.S.

 

 

So, that’s the teams, and I’ve got to say, this looks a pretty tight series- it’s hard to pick out just which team will have the advantage. Fink’s team has the edge in individual power and brutality, but there’s a real experience advantage on Keane’s side- guys like CJ, Macks and the Elimination Agents have been around a long time, and rookies like Welsh and Svensson are exceptionally talented. Whoever wins, though, I’m predicting it’ll go right down to the final match.

****

 

Card for RHW In a Big Country

 

Nigel Svensson vs. Billy Robinson

 

The Elimination Agents vs. The Foreign Legion

 

Kevin Welsh vs. Menace

 

Matthew Macks vs. Dwayne Dark

 

Curtis Jenkins vs. Michael Gregory

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Subscribed!

 

Nigel Svensson vs. Billy Robinson

I picked in reverse, so this comes with the two teams in a draw, obviously. I'll pick Billy, assuming that he's the Heel. Faces shouldn't set stips unless they've already been screwed over by the Heels, while Heels can set stips at any time to just be dicks.

 

The Elimination Agents vs. The Foreign Legion

Everyone hates the French, and the Agents have size and power.

 

Kevin Welsh vs. Menace

Welsh is likely to find himself in over his head against the powerhouse.

 

Matthew Macks vs. Dwayne Dark

The powerhouse brawler will likely take down the flippy-floppy guy.

 

Curtis Jenkins vs. Michael Gregory

CJ's experience (relatively, at least) will likely work in his favour.

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Nigel Svensson vs. Billy Robinson

Svensson is just more talented in my book

The Elimination Agents vs. The Foreign Legion

I am an absolute mark for the Agents

Kevin Welsh vs. Menace

Can't see Welsh getting a win here

Matthew Macks vs. Dwayne Dark

Toss up here. Macks, I think has a little more experience then Dwayne with him being in VWA

Curtis Jenkins vs. Michael Gregory

Jenkins is more talented

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  • 2 weeks later...

Nigel Svensson vs. Billy Robinson

 

The Elimination Agents vs. The Foreign Legion

 

Kevin Welsh vs. Menace

 

Matthew Macks vs. Dwayne Dark

 

Curtis Jenkins vs. Michael Gregory

 

I didn't think it was possible, but your choice of entrance music for Nigel makes me hate him. Easily one of the most annoying songs ever. :p

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RHW In a Big Country

Live from the Caledonian Club

Friday, Week 3, January

Audience: 56

 

The Show

 

 

“Hello there wrestling fans! I’m Justin Blackham and I’m here at the Caledonian Club to welcome you to Royal Highlands Wrestling In a Big Country, our inaugural event and the grounds for the first ever British Independent Challenge Series! Joining me tonight on commentary are our two team managers; heading up Team Finkleton we have National School of Wrestling graduate Fink Finkleton…”

 

“I’d say it’s a pleasure JB but honestly I hate you, Scotland and most of the universe so, y’know, get knotted”

 

“…and in charge of Team Shamrock Assault Squad we have Galway’s own Wee Davey Keane.”

 

“Top o’the morning to ye Justin! ‘Tis a pleasure to be here to be sure!”

 

“In just a few moments we’ll be going down to the ring for our first match, but first let’s go over the rules of the Challenge Series. Both managers have picked a team of six wrestlers each- four singles wrestlers and a tag team- and tonight they will be competing in a best-of-5 series, with the winning manager not only proving himself the top manager in British independent wrestling but also taking control of next month’s main event, where RHW will crown it’s first ever British Champion! So, it’s everything to play for as we head down to the ring, with one final reminder that both managers are banned from ringside to keep the playing field as level as possible…”

 

***

 

Curtis Jenkins vs. Michael Gregory

I wanted to launch RHW with a match featuring two guys who’d be around a while, or at least significant in RHW’s long-term history, so this seemed like the best choice. CJ’s ex-MAW status and links with Rip Chord made him an obvious guy to lead off with, and Mike’s somebody I want to keep with us long-term; he’s a promising prospect and I like his attitude backstage. Unfortunately he’s also pretty rubbish in the ring at the moment, being roughly as green as the pitch at Sandy Park, and that made for a match that I don’t think will be making anyone’s all-time list. Okay, so relative to our size it was pretty good- the crowd certainly seemed into it- but hopefully we’ll improve from this result as we go forward. Anyway, Curtis took the win here with the Fisherman’s Suplex on 9:44, not exactly out of nowhere but there wasn’t really any narrative build-up, something I expect we’ll see a lot of tonight.

Winner: Curtis Jenkins Match Rating: E+

 

*

 

“First blood to Team S.A.S. as Curtis Jenkins scores the win in RHW’s first ever match!”

 

“And a classic case of experience over power, so it is! Michael Gregory was no pushover- he’s built like Finn McCool so he is, but you can’t beat the experience of a man who’s travelled all over the world the way CJ has!”

 

“America is not all over the world, Keane- I hate you so much right now- but there’s a point to be had there. You can all have the bulk and muscle mass but you need to know how to use it- Michael’s still learning, unlike my next competitor.”

 

“And on that note let’s get back to the ring, where we’re shaping up for match number two, as Team Finkleton’s Dwayne Dark takes on Matthew Macks…”

 

***

 

Dwayne Dark vs. Matthew Macks

Well, that wasn’t a complete disaster, but it was sure close. Okay, so it probably wasn’t a lot worse than the opener, but it turns out that Dwayne wasn’t dropped from 21CW because they didn’t have anything for him to do. No, it turns out that he’s just not that good, and whilst Matt did a great job carrying him through the match this was another solid but uninspiring encounter; thus far the action’s been crisp but the storytelling a little flat, with very little sense of psychology or flow to the matches. Still, when you’ve got 50 people in the crowd pretty much anything looks good, and whilst Dwayne’s pretty rough at the moment he’s at least improving, and in any case Robert likes his boxing background and legit toughness so I’m not getting rid of him anytime soon. He took the win here too, dropping Matty at 10:29 with Darkness Falls.

Winner: Dwayne Dark Match Rating: E+

 

*

 

“Dwayne Dark ties the series at 1 all with 3 matches left”

 

“This is a classic case of the inherent weakness of the high-flyer- against the kind of raw ferocity Dwayne Dark can muster you need to step beyond conventional aerial offence and bring something new to the table. Macks just couldn’t do that, and that’s why he lost.”

 

“Fair play to Dwayne though, he’s a fierce wee fella so he is!”

 

“I’d agree with Davey but I just hate him so much.”

 

“Time for our next match now, as Menace takes on Kevin Welsh, with the winner taking the lead as we reach the half-way stage of the Challenge Series…”

 

*

 

Menace vs. Kevin Welsh

This was another weak match, but I’m starting to get a handle on what we’re capable of, and at least this time the problems weren’t as severe. To be honest, none of these guys are well-known enough to make much of an impact, and Kevin had some problems keeping up here due to stamina issues; he’s probably the best of the ROF Dojo guys out there right now, but his training clearly focussed more on technique than fitness and he struggled to keep up. Fortunately his charisma and star quality were major plus-points, and Menace provided a good solid hand to carry Kevin through the finish (though Kevin might do better against somebody smaller next time, he didn’t seem to be putting out a full effort tonight). Menace got the win here- Kev’s a future prospect but doesn’t have as much upside right now- at 10:25, putting his foe away with Ultimate Rejection.

Winner: Menace Match Rating: E+

 

*

 

“Two Up! It’s at times like this that I almost feel well disposed to humanity…well, except for you two”

 

“Sure, and ain’t Menace a big owd fella though? Kev didn’t make a back step, but he you have to be real careful when you’re doin’ that against a giant like Menace to be sure!”

 

“I hate you so much…like, if you were dying I’d throw a party”

 

“Moving swiftly onwards, with three matches down and two left it’s time for the tag match, as Team S.A.S’s Elimination Agents take on The Foreign Legion for Team Finkleton”

 

“One more win and it’s all mine Keane!”

 

“I don’t see no fat lady yet yer great skinny feck…”

 

“Guys! Let’s take this to the ring, as the match is about to get underway…”

 

***

 

The Elimination Agents vs. The Foreign Legion

We finally managed to get out of first gear with this match; maybe it was the increased name value on display, maybe it was the experience of the two teams, but whatever it was this was the first match that felt like it was telling a story and not just a bunch of guys throwing random moves at one another. Okay, so this was the most routine and basic story of all time- dynamic face opening, heels control the middle segment, Genocide tags in for the big finish- but given that the DuPonts have very little grasp of ring psychology anything more complex wouldn’t have worked. On the plus side Suicide works surprisingly well as a face in peril; he’s not exactly a small guy, but he can bump pretty well and has the right mix of courage and dumbness for smaller heels to be able to take control without losing plausibility. Of course, the Legion still lost- come on, like we’d lock the series before the main event- after Suicide was able to make the hot (well, fairly warm) tag to Genocide, who promptly ripped through the DuPonts like…well, like a facepainted Scotsman in a Galashiels working men’s club, which is basically what he was. The Elimination Agents took the win at 14:45, putting Jacques away with Total Elimination after Genocide nailed his brother with a Spear.

Winners: The Elimination Agents Match Rating: D-

 

*

 

“With one match left to go we’re in a dead heat- our main event is winner takes all”

 

“Yeah, and we’ve got one of the best coming out for Team Finkleton- ‘So Solid’ Billy Robinson! I’m not kidding, this is the only man in all of, well, pretty much the universe who I don’t basically hate”

 

“Aye and bigorra, ‘tis gonna be a match in a million to be sure!”

 

“I hate you Keane. I hate you so, so much.”

 

“Anyway, it’s time for our main event, as two of the finest technical wrestlers in all of British Independent Wrestling face off with the Challenge Series on the line- ladies and gentlemen, it’s ‘Wigan Strong’ Nigel Svensson taking on ‘So Solid’ Billy Robinson. Let’s take it down to the ring and get tonights main event, and the finale of the RHW British Independent Challenge Series, underway!”

 

***

 

Billy Robinson vs. Nigel Svensson

I’ve seen these two a bunch on the independent scene and figured they’d make for a quality main event. Turns out I was right, which always makes for a nice way to end the evening; okay, so the selling wasn’t exactly top-level, and neither of these guys will be ring generals anytime soon, but as hard-hitting technical bout this was pretty much everything you’d hope for. Nige in particular looked good; the ultra-physical nature of Wigan style wrestling really appeals to our fanbase, and his grasp of puro-style strikes was something they really went for. Unfortunately Billy wasn’t so lucky as the crowd really turned on him for some reason (probably his abysmal selling), although we did our best on commentary to play it off as ordinary heel heat. Still, even with the negative response from the crowd Billy’s pretty much the best we’ve got, so I have him the win (which also gave me the series, but that’s less important). He put Nigel away at 15:10, locking him into the Capital City Crucifix in the centre of the ring and cranking it on extra hard to force the submission, although even then Nigel held on for nearly half a minute before tapping out.

Winner: Billy Robinson Match Rating: D+

 

 

Overall Rating: D, which is pretty good given some of the problems on the undercard.

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Good first show -- there was a thunderverse diary with the "team" concept awhile back, and I always enjoy it when it's well written.

 

Fink has a ton of potential as a manager/authority figure... I'm guessing "the hometown manager" is actually heel? I'm guessing he's the "smug" Brit... he should be great to build Billy up.

 

I'm guessing there is a tag program in the works with The Shooters "reuniting" against Svenson and a mystery partner.. with the wealth of technically minded wrestlers in the isles, it shouldn't be too hard to find a positive chemistry tag note with Nigel-- "Sensational" Simon Ice and UEW's own Gordon Leve come to mind.

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Good first show -- there was a thunderverse diary with the "team" concept awhile back, and I always enjoy it when it's well written.

 

Thanks for the feedback- I don't know how much I'll be carrying the idea forward (it was mostly meant as a one-off hook to launch the first show), but it's definitely something I might come back as an annual tournament.

 

Fink has a ton of potential as a manager/authority figure... I'm guessing "the hometown manager" is actually heel? I'm guessing he's the "smug" Brit... he should be great to build Billy up.

 

The way I'm trying to develop Fink at the moment is less as a smug manager, and more as a total misery who hates everyone and everything- it's not a character you see a lot of in wrestling and provides for plenty of banter. As for his relationship with Billy, I always see 'So Solid' as someone who does his talking in the ring. Other people can have managers and promos, Billy will just snap you in two once the bell rings.

 

I'm guessing there is a tag program in the works with The Shooters "reuniting" against Svenson and a mystery partner.. with the wealth of technically minded wrestlers in the isles, it shouldn't be too hard to find a positive chemistry tag note with Nigel-- "Sensational" Simon Ice and UEW's own Gordon Leve come to mind.

 

That was the plan at one stage, but as future shows are posted you'll see how we wind up going in another direction. Not to say it won't happen ever, but in the short-term we'll be seeing other feuds emerging.

 

Woo! 100%, baby! That's the smarts showing, right there.

 

I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of perfect predictions early on- I'm not exactly a maverick when it comes to booking- so I probably won't be doing much by way of a predictions contest. I'll be keeping track, obviously, but I won't be having a winner until later in the year.

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I've not had enough bosses to make any kind of judgment on the issue, but it seems to me that Robert Etchinson can’t really be considered a bad one. Okay, so he barely does anything, but then he’d be the first to admit he knows more about fridges than wrestling so that’s not exactly a bad thing. Generally speaking it’s the same deal it always has been; once a week I hop on a train to Edinburgh (now changing at Gateshead so I can meet up with Uppercut and bring him along) and meet with Mr. Etchinson in his office.

 

“Ah, Mr. Finkleton, Mr. Bailey, I'm pleased to see you're here. Now, how was our last show? Obviously I've seen the tapes, but that’s just one side of the story, and I’d like to hear your perspective?”

 

It’s at this point that Uppercut flashes me the he really talks like this? look that everyone gets.

 

“Went pretty well- the crowd don’t seem to like Billy much but he’s still our biggest star so there’s not a huge amount we can do about it. Plus side, Nigel’s looking good and The Elimination Agents are solid as top faces.”

 

“Fans are fans- give ‘em enough reason to get into a guy and they'll go for it. Trust me, just ‘cos they don't like Billy right now doesn't mean they never will. Besides, you throw him up against the likes of Genocide, Nigel or CJ and they'll boo him plenty enough for the DVD, right?”

 

Robert winces a little- clearly he doesn't go for Uppercut's rather informal way with the English language- but it’s pretty clear he’s taking the point.

 

“Indeed. Thank you very much for that insight Mr. Bailey, I'm sure Mr. Finkleton will bear that in mind going forward. Now, let’s talk about this next show…Hair of the Dog, is it?”

 

A frown wrinkles his brow like he’s never heard of Nazareth (which is a blatant lie because his daughter works in concert promotion).

 

“Yeah, that’s the name we're going with. First plan is to crown a new Caledonian Champion- that’s what we're calling our top title- and maybe run something with Menace and Nigel, see where that goes.”

 

“With the money we made from the debut, we should maybe look at bringing in some new meat, a couple of extra guys or a new tag team, right? A dozen guys is enough for a start-up but I give it maybe ‘alf a year or so before we start running out of options.”

 

“Well, yeah, there’s gonna be some new names coming in down the line, maybe in a month or two, but right now? I don’t think the bank could take too much punishment and it’s not like our profit margin was all that massive anyway.”

 

“That’s very true- a profit of about 1500 pounds isn't a great deal to be investing in extra employees, even if they are going to be focussed in the ring. Give it another couple of months and then we can have this discussion again- until next time, then, gentlemen.”

 

With that he buzzes for his secretary, the universal sign for the end of the meeting, and I head out with Uppercut mumbling something about ‘friggin’ business meeting bullcr@p’ behind me.

 

Maybe next time I’ll bring JB to the meeting instead.

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