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WWF: The Monday Night Wars

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Monday Week 1.  January 1998. Huntsville, AL.   Mr McMahon is in the ring and calls out ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin and the WWF champion Shawn Michaels. McMahon confront

Bigelow Cartwheel
Bigelow Cartwheel

Ok, let’s do this one last time.   Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart was a mega star World champion at the World Wrestling Federation. Adored in his home country of Canada but booed relentlessly across the

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Bigelow Cartwheel

Monday Week 2. December 1997 Fort Wayne, IN.   The Undertaker comes out and calls out Kane. He wants to know why Kane attacked him at In Your House last night, costing

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Monday Week 1.  March 1998.

Landover, MD.

 

Mr McMahon opens and before he has even said a word the crowd are chanting for ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin. McMahon tries to speak and the chants only intensify.

 

Mr McMahon: “Mr Austin is not here tonight. He was not on Raw last week. He has not been on WWF programming since his arrest two weeks ago. He is at home considering his conduct and his future in the World Wrestling Federation. Let this be a lesson to everyone here: in business there are rules that have to be adhered to, and in my business my rules are final.”

 

This brings out Owen Hart who has some words for McMahon.

 

Owen Hart: “We all know about your business, Vince. Your way of running the game. My family certainly knows all about your business. My brother found out first hand that when you dance with the devil, you wait for the music to stop.”

 

Owen looks like he has more to say but Shawn Michaels’ music hits and the Heartbreak Kid saunters to the ring.

 

Shawn Michaels: “Owen, Owen, Owen… the little brother that never could step out of his elder sibling’s shadow. He’s not here now. He ran down south because he knew – like everyone else knew – that the Heartbreak Kid is too much for an old broken Hart.”

 

Owen and Michaels go nose to nose and McMahon steps between them.

 

Mr McMahon: “Gentlemen, I think, quite frankly, this is best settled in the ring. Tonight’s main event, in a non-title match up: Shawn Michaels versus Owen Hart!”

 

Edge and Christian vs Skull and 8-Ball – Edge pins Skull after a Downward Spiral.

 

Jim Ross: “These youngsters from Canada are injecting energy into the tag division, even if they are a little strange.”

 

Honky Tonk Man is out because “everyone wants to hear me play my song.” The crowd in attendance disagree. They are certainly happy to hear the jazz sax of Val Venis’ theme music as Val and Sable hit the ring.

 

Val Venis: “Honky, don’t you know that Elvis - just like your career - is dead and buried?”

 

Venis hits his pose and whips off his towel but Honky Tonk Man attacks him from behind to start an impromptu match. The referee signals to the time keeper to ring the bell and this one is underway.

 

Val Venis (w/ Sable) vs Honky Tonk Man – Venis wins with the Money Shot.

 

Michael Cole interviews Hardcore Holly on his upcoming hardcore triple threat match against Al Snow and Prince Albert. Cole calls Snow deranged and Albert a monster. Hardcore just tells Cole to shut up and that he has "a plan."

 

Hardcore match

Hardcore Holly vs Al Snow (w/ Head) vs Prince Albert (w/ Ivory) – a vicious yet often comical match as all three look to break various household objects over their opponents skulls. Snow looks to be taking the win before a smaller version of Hardcore Holly hits him from behind with a STOP sign. Hardcore gets the pin and the mini Holly celebrates.

 

The Undertaker comes to the ring and says that he is ready to put the past behind him and join forces with his brother. Taker says he knows the real reason for their feud has always been Paul Bearer. He calls out Kane but instead The Rock answers.

 

The Rock: “Wah, wah, wah. The Rock doesn’t give a monkey’s ass about your family. The Rock stands here as the WWF Intercontinental champion. *squeaky voice* ‘I’m The Undertaker, my brother’s horrifically scarred, Paul Bearer’s mean to me. I cry when I think nobody is watching.’ Shut your mouth, jabroni."

 

The Undertaker: “Tonight, you will face me in the ring and I will make you pay for your words.”

 

WWF Light Heavyweight Championship

TAKA Michinoku (c) vs Flash Funk – In a long awaited rematch TAKA beats Flash with a Michinoku Driver.

 

Bradshaw and Windham vs The Godwinns – Windham pins Phineas with a Bulldog.

 

Howard Finkel is backstage talking to Sunny. He seems a little smitten, trying to pluck up the courage to ask her something. Sunny is enjoying the attention but isn’t really listening to what Howard has to say. Two shadows cast over The Fink and he turns to find the Legion Of Doom standing over him, cracking their knuckles. Finkel makes his excuses and leaves as Sunny giggles.

 

Steve Blackman vs Viscera – Blackman wins after a series of strikes, finishing with a roundhouse kick to the head.

 

Triple H, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and Chyna of D-Generation X are in the ring. A few lame jokes are made at the crowd’s expense before Mankind interrupts them. Gone is the shabby brown attire and instead Mankind has attempted to dress smart, wearing a shirt and tie... but he still looks scruffy and deranged. DX mock Mankind with fake praise, pretending to compliment him on his new clothes. Triple H asks Mankind if he’s cool enough to be in DX but before he can answer, Triple H proposes a match.

 

Triple H: “You see, Mankind… I’d have you in the gang right now, right here in… wherever the hell we are. I’d make you a member of DX tonight. But these guys, they’re gonna take some convincing. So next week I want to fight alongside you. You and me versus the New Age Outlaws. Win and I will make you the newest member of D-Generation X.”

 

Jim Ross: “Triple H is an untrustworthy son-of-a-gun. Mankind needs to understand what he’s letting himself in for.”

 

Jerry Lawler: “What do you mean? It’s a great opportunity. Can you imagine Mankind in DX, JR?”

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship

The Rock vs The Undertaker – Rocky made a point of getting under the Undertaker’s skin by insulting his family and it appears that The Deadman has taken it personally. The two brawl in and around the ring and Taker hammers The Rock with some huge blows. Taker comes close to the win with a Chokeslam and Rock garners a near fall with a DDT. The match ends as Rock smashes Undertaker in the head with a steel chair in full view of the referee resulting in the DQ.

 

Undertaker is down and cut open and The Rock stands over him brandishing the steel chair.

 

Jim Ross: “The Rock smells blood. Undertaker in big trouble right now.”

 

Jerry Lawler: “Wait, JR! It’s...”

 

Faarooq runs to the ring and yanks the chair from The Rock. Rock’s eyes are wide as he bails from the ring.

 

Jim Ross: “Rock wants no piece of Faarooq!”

 

Non-title match

Shawn Michaels (w/ Chyna) vs Owen Hart – This is a fast-paced, technical battle from the start. Counter after counter as they each try to gain the upper hand. Owen comes close with a Sharpshooter but it’s too close to the ropes and Michaels successfully grasps them. HBK lands an elbow from the top for a near fall before Owen drills the champion with a Piledriver for a close call. With both men staggering Michaels attempts the Sweet Chin Music but Hart ducks and HBK strikes the ref. Owen lands a wheel kick and calls for the Sharpshooter again. From out of a nowhere a shady figure dressed all in black and hidden by a black lucha mask slides into the ring and attacks Owen from behind. He plants Owen with a Piledriver of his own and leaves the ring before the referee regains consciousness. Michaels connects with the Sweet Chin Music and the ref counts three.

 

Jim Ross: “Bah gawd.”

 

 

Edited by Bigelow Cartwheel
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Monday Week 2.  March 1998.

Huntsville, AL.

 

Mr McMahon opens as the fans chant for ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin.

 

Mr McMahon: “Chant all you want. Steve Austin is again not here tonight. He is at home in Victoria, Texas considering his future conduct in the World Wrestling Federation. He is not the number one contender to the WWF Championship and he will not be going to Wrestlemania. Eventually everybody learns to play by my rules. It just takes some longer than others. If Mr Austin returns to the WWF - which, quite frankly, is not a decided matter - he will be reminded that if he touches me again then he will be FIRED! Now, to other business. Tonight will see the WWF European champion Ken Shamrock defend his title against the number one contender… D’Lo Brown!”

 

Jim Ross: “The young man from Chicago, Illinois will get his shot at gold tonight on Raw!”

 

Bart Gunn vs Crash Holly – Crash wins with a roll up.

 

Michael Cole attempts to interview The Undertaker as The Deadman makes his way through the backstage area. Taker reaches the parking garage and stands by his hearse. He turns to Cole.

 

The Undertaker: “Tonight we bury the past.”

 

Taker gets in and drives off leaving Cole with a blank look on his face.

 

Luna Vachon vs Tori – Tori wins with a Diving Crossbody.

 

Jim Ross: “Newcomer Tori wins on her WWF debut!”

 

Jerry Lawler: “Puppies!”

 

Viscera is walking down the corridor looking all mean and moody when a furious Luna Vachon runs past him screaming. She barges into him and knocks the big man off his stride. A slow smile creeps across Vis’ face.

 

Viscera vs Ahmed Johnson – Viscera wins with a Big Splash.

 

Michael Cole is backstage with Hardcore Holly. He is trying to interview him but a very excited, smaller version of Hardcore is bouncing around.

 

Crash Holly: “Did you see? Did you see? I won my match! Cousin, did you see?”

 

Hardcore looks like he’s spent all day with a small child loaded on sugar. He snaps at Crash to shut up and walks off.

 

Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett (w/ Jim Cornette) vs The Headbangers – In a clash of styles, Jarrett and Owen work over the wild Headbangers, limiting their offence. Mosh and Thrasher fight back but Jarrett is able to land the Stroke on Thrasher for the win.

 

Mankind is backstage when Triple H catches up with him.

 

Triple H: “Ready for our big match tonight, buddy?”

 

Hunter is smiling but behind the mask Mankind’s face is set in stone.

 

Mankind: “I know what you’re doing. I know this is just so you and your friends can gang up on me in the ring. But I won’t let you back out now. Tonight we will be partners and we will face the New Age Outlaws. And after I’m done with them… I’m coming for you.”

 

Vader vs Prince Albert (w/ Ivory) – Vader wins with a Vader Bomb. Albert looks as if he needs to be scraped off the mat.

 

Owen Hart walks into the backstage area where he and Jarrett have left their bags. Owen, a known prankster, clearly has some trickery in mind as he rifles through his team mate’s bag. Hart stops as he finds a black lucha mask. The same one worn by his disguised attacker last week. Furious, Owen seeks out Jarrett and demands an explanation. A clearly offended Jarrett retorts that he is innocent. A fight looks close to breaking out and referees and agents separate the pair.

 

Edge and Christian vs Bradshaw and Windham – Edge pins Bradshaw after the former Blackjacks are distracted by Los Boricuas surrounding the ring. Edge hits the Downward Spiral and Bradshaw is out.

 

Michael Hayes is out in a wooded area where a cabin is on fire. The Undertaker can be seen in the distance and there are high pitched male screams. Hayes is screaming for somebody to call 911 as Taker turns and sees him. Hayes asks the rapidly approaching Deadman if Kane or Paul Bearer are in there but Taker wordlessly destroys the camera and the screen goes to static.

 

Jim Ross: “We seems to have lost the feed to our broadcast colleague Michael Hayes out in gawd-knows-where, bah gawd. What the hell have we just witnessed?!”

 

Stipulation match – win and Mankind can join DX

Mankind and Triple H (w/ Chyna) vs New Age Outlaws – Mankind starts in the ring and battles the Outlaws until the numerical disadvantage becomes too much. In a surprising moment Triple H accepts the hot tag and fights Road Dogg and Gunn with the fans cheering him on. Hunter comes close with a neckbreaker on Road Dogg and attempts a Pedigree only for Gunn to drop him with a clothesline.

 

Jim Ross: “This is certainly unexpected. Triple H is fighting to bring Mankind into the DX fold!”

 

Mankind tags back in and catches Gunn with the Mandible Claw. Mr Ass is fading… and Triple H low blows Mankind!

 

Jim Ross: “Damnit, Triple H! Hemsley you bastard! It was a set up all along! Bastard! Bah gawd! Bastard!”

 

Billy Gunn lands the Fame Asser on Mankind, the ref counts three and DX all stomp Mankind into the mat.

 

Triple H hits Mankind with a Pedigree and then grabs a mic.

 

Triple H: “Mankind, you will be never be good enough to hang with D-Generation X. You will never be on our level.”

 

Mankind: “You may be right, Hunter… which is why I made a backup plan.”

 

Jerry Lawler: “What’s that noise? Do you hear that, JR?”

 

From the back comes a loud buzzing sound. Everyone in the ring stops… as Terry Funk wielding a chainsaw comes crashing through the entrance and staggering wildly down the ramp. Funk looks insane. DX all abandon the ring and flee through the crowd.

 

WWF European Championship

Ken Shamrock (c) vs D’Lo Brown – Shamrock throws Brown around the ring and attempts the Ankle Lock on a couple of occasions. But D’Lo is deceptively quick and takes the champion down with a leg lariat and comes close with a leg drop. Shamrock then asserts control on the match and looks to have it won with a Belly To Belly Suplex only for the ref to be out of position and knocked to the mat.

 

Jim Ross: “Wait a minute! It’s, it’s...”

 

From out of nowhere ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin slides into the ring and hits Shamrock with the Stunner. He drops to the mat cussing Shamrock out, inches from his face, before draping a still groggy D’Lo on top of him. Austin rolls out of the ring just in time for the referee to count three.

 

Jim Ross: “We have a new European champion! D’Lo Brown wins with a huge assist from ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin!”

 

A furious Mr McMahon comes out and grabs a microphone.

 

Mr McMahon: “Steve Austin, I have had it wi- ...”

 

McMahon is unable to complete the sentence as Austin boots him in the gut and delivers the second Stone Cold Stunner of the evening. Austin drops to the mat and yells obscenities inches from McMahon’s face before hitting all four corners with his signature beer-smashing salute. Austin hits the rampway and a clearly in pain McMahon picks up the mic.

 

Mr McMahon: “Austin… Austin… you’re FIRED!!”

 

Edited by Bigelow Cartwheel
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