AWMPSCEIRLOMGG

[same-old-davey]

(Or, All-World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment In Real Life, Oh My Grabness Grabness. For short.)

The wrestling federation All-World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment has been transported from Empty High-School Gymnasium to real life! Now they must co-exist with real wrestlers and promotions, will they become indy wrestling stars or crash and burn in millions of debt? It's all up to Strong Bad, the booker, and The Poopsmith, the owner. This series is a local to slightly-less-local diary, as I have personally added a cast of Homestar Runner characters to a game that has been running for a while. The game starts in a semi-fictional real life setting starting on November 24, 2007, when yes, wrestling came out.

Throughout the series, you will also see quick news bites from Dave Meltzer and the -ez brothers detailing what happens in the wrestling world. Just to add some interesting activity to the otherwise slow AWMPSCE schedule.

The State of Wrestling

USA

WWE is taking an isolationist stance, not really interacting with any other companies. But TNA is on a rampage, going on a global war against New Japan and Lucha Libre AAA! Ring of Honor is also going global for the first time, starting with Great Britain. In terms of superstars, Triple H and Shawn Michaels have both been on hiatus this year... and in their place we've got Mark Henry mania! The world's strongest man has finally achieved superstardom!

Mexico

CMLL and AAA are at war with each other, as usual. But this year's biggest winner south of the border is... Toryumon! The big three of Japan have all taken an interest in the lucharesu promotion, and all of them have sent some promising young rookies on excursion over there.

Japan

Wrestling is more popular here than it is anywhere else. But the one thing they are struggling with is building the star power of individual wrestlers. I'd say there's only 8 or 10 stars between New Japan, All Japan, and NOAH. Is it up to the indies to generate the next Tanahashi? Time will tell.

The Indies

YouTube is becoming a quite popular way for indie promotions to get ahead. This new video platform has elevated the likes of JD*, NEO, and NWA Shockwave. Over in Tohoku, promoter Tetsuya Koda has just invented Lonestar Championship Wrestling, an oddball parody of 80's Texas rasslin' TV. Featuring Japanese indie stars, and several yeehaw Americans such as Lance Hoyt, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin.

Interactivity

At several points, the audience will be able to influence Strong Bad's booking decisions. And can add a fan character by adding it right under this paragraph... not that the people on this forum have ever created a Homestar Runner fan character. But this diary is also being cross posted to the H*R Fanstuff Wiki... Too? and they have added some already.

[SonOfSharknado]

I... I have never wanted anything more than this. 

[sonny912]

What kinda promotion is this? I've never heardbof it till now.

[SonOfSharknado]

Allow me to elucidate. 

 

 

[sonny912]

4 hours ago, SonOfSharknado said:

Allow me to elucidate. 

 

 

Wtf did I just see!?

[same-old-davey]

November 2007 week 4 (2nd half)

• Today's big event: Survivor Series 2007, held in Boston.
  • Opening promo with Kurt Angle & John Cena. Angle talked about his career, with heel Cena giving him a standing ovation.
  • Trish Stratus & Mickie James vs. Melina Perez and Kristal Marshall. The Divas match was a nice way to get the crowd going, with Trish Stratus & Mickie James picking up a win over Melina Perez and Kristal Marshall.
  • Serial Thrilla Helms & Bradshaw vs. Marcus Cor Von & Matt Hardy. Another tag team match, with Serial Thrilla Helms & Bradshaw picking up a win over Marcus Cor Von and Matt Hardy.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champion Chavo Guerrero vs. challenger AJ Styles in a Ladder match for the WWE Intercontinental title. One of the many classic ladder matches, Chavo Guerrero took on AJ Styles in an all-out war to determine the new Intercontinental champion. In the end, Chavo picked up the win and retained the WWE Intercontinental Championship, setting him up as a major player in the WWE.
  • In-ring promo with Steve Austin. The Rattlesnake returned, much to the delight of the Boston crowd.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champions Rob Van Dam & Rey Misterio vs. challengers Big Show & Kane for the Tag Team titles. A match that's been happening in one form or another for two years, with the veteran team of Big Show & Kane taking on the WWE Tag Team champions Rob Van Dam & Rey Misterio. In the end, the new blood prevailed as the champions picked up the win to retain the Tag Team Championship.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champion Maria vs. challengers Torrie Wilson & Ashley Massaro in a Handicap Bra & Panties match for the WWE Women's title. In this handicap match, Maria faced both Torrie Wilson and Ashley Massaro for the WWE Women's Championship. The three women fought like maniacs, but Maria somehow pulled out the victory to retain her championship, though it was clear she had the help of Stephanie McMahon who interfered when needed.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champion William Regal vs. challenger Mark Henry for the WWE title. The penultimate match, with William Regal defending his WWE Championship against Mark Henry in a match that lived up to its hype. In the end, it was Regal who walked away victorious, remaining WWE champion to the delight of the Boston crowd.
  • SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH: Team Angle (Angle, Batista, Orton, Jamie Noble, Matt Bentley) vs. Team Edge (Edge, Carlito, MNM, Ricky Steamboat). The main event was a 5 on 5 Survivor Series match, with Team Angle taking on Team Edge in a brutal battle. In the end, it came down to Kurt Angle and Ricky Steamboat, who put on a classic wrestling clinic for the Boston crowd. Despite Steamboat's heroics, he was unable to pick up the win, as Team Angle emerged victorious when "The Dragon" tapped out. After the match, Jay Lethal attacked Edge with a steel chair, setting up their rivalry for months to come.

In other wrestling news:

• Irish Whip Wrestling is looking for new talent. They have already gained a new rookie from their training school, Kash Dinero.
• Joey Mercury suffered a spinal cord compression. MNM will be out of the tag team picture for at least a year.
• Tom Lawlor is taking a hiatus to focus on his upcoming MMA fight.
• Ash won the BCW Can-Am Unified Television title from Gutter.
• The WSU Spirit title changed hands, as The Spice Princess pinned "Scuffy" Scundo.
• IWA Puerto Rico hired Ronin, Sexy Juliet, and Mana The Polynesian Warrior.

In Strong Bad's Room...

Starring:

STRONG BAD: {singing} Email, email, it's time for school! Come and learn how to be partially cool!

STRONG BAD: And there's no name. Let's see, you're... {typing} "Giant Brontosaurus", from Parts Unknown. Oh yeah. Nobody short of One Man Gang could lift this guy. {clears the screen and types} Well Bronto, there's no better way to learn than by example. Follow me to my ludicrously expensive office!

{Cut to Strong Bad in a fancy suit, sitting at an executive desk. The Sizzleweight belt is hanging behind him.}

STRONG BAD: Here I am, sitting in my lavish office, surrounded by stacks of cash, championship belts, and middle-aged men weeping profusely. It's all part of the show! Now then, let's get biznizz-AY! My super cool strategy for taking All-World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment worldwi—er, wait. We don't have any overseas territories yet. They cost money. Forget I said that. Let me think...

{He pulls down a display showing financial charts and graphs, one reading "Johnny the Bull Market"}

STRONG BAD: Okay, well, first off, we gotta focus on building a larger fanbase. Maybe look into some crowd-funding or merchandise deals. Also, try and get some celebrity endorsements. You know, like Horace Hogan saying his famous catchphrase... "Can I get cab fare, kid?" That'd be huge! And don't forget about the insider rags; you gotta get the word out there!

{He switches the display to a family watching a TV reading "Grab Them Cakes!"}

STRONG BAD: Secondly, we need to start a weekly television show. Wrestling on TV is where it's at! And not just any TV channel; we need to shoot for something big like Channel America. We also need sponsors like GNC or maybe even New Coke! And don't forget about air molecules and protons, either; those'll really fill out the fat stacks o' cash.

{The display switches to a picture of Strong Bad, labeled "dressup SB as million dollar man??"}

STRONG BAD: Finally, we need more talent. AWMPSCE needs to be a juggernaut of unstoppable awesomeness, ready to topple the likes of WWF, WCW, and TMNT: The Next Mutation. So send in those VHS tapes, kids! Maybe we'll find the next big thing behind five bucks worth of scones at Wendy's. Or at least someone who can pretend to be. You tell me, Bronto old pal, what do you think? Sound like a plan to you? Sounds more like...a plancha! {chuckles} I crack myself up sometimes. Y'know what else is cool? My custom made Strong Bad skateboard with—

{The Poopsmith enters the office. He stares silently and taps his foot.}

STRONG BAD: Whaddaya mean YOUR office?! I'm the CEO of Global Stardom Entertainment, formerly known as AWMPSCE!

{The Poopsmith taps the desk sign reading "The Poopsmith: Owner, AWMPSCE"}

STRONG BAD: Ohhhh. Guess I forgot that part, huh? Um…sorry bout that. Let's just kinda forget about all this and pretend it didn't happen. Alright big guy? I'll even lend ya my Official Strong Bad Didgeridoo with Sausage Pouch™.

{The Poopsmith is shown leaving the room.}

STRONG BAD: Okay. So where were we? Ah yes! Giant Bronto, say you agree with my strategies, sign and date below! {reaches for a pen} Oh wait, there aren't any pens on this desk. Never mind, then. Cool, thanks big guy! See ya around!

{The Paper comes down, reading <click here to email strong bad>}

 

Edited November 13, 2023 by same-old-davey
that image

[sonny912]

2 hours ago, same-old-davey said:

November 2007 week 4 (2nd half)

• Today's big event: Survivor Series 2007, held in Boston.
  • Opening promo with Kurt Angle & John Cena. Angle talked about his career, with heel Cena giving him a standing ovation.
  • Trish Stratus & Mickie James vs. Melina Perez and Kristal Marshall. The Divas match was a nice way to get the crowd going, with Trish Stratus & Mickie James picking up a win over Melina Perez and Kristal Marshall.
  • Serial Thrilla Helms & Bradshaw vs. Marcus Cor Von & Matt Hardy. Another tag team match, with Serial Thrilla Helms & Bradshaw picking up a win over Marcus Cor Von and Matt Hardy.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champion Chavo Guerrero vs. challenger AJ Styles in a Ladder match for the WWE Intercontinental title. One of the many classic ladder matches, Chavo Guerrero took on AJ Styles in an all-out war to determine the new Intercontinental champion. In the end, Chavo picked up the win and retained the WWE Intercontinental Championship, setting him up as a major player in the WWE.
  • In-ring promo with Steve Austin. The Rattlesnake returned, much to the delight of the Boston crowd.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champions Rob Van Dam & Rey Misterio vs. challengers Big Show & Kane for the Tag Team titles. A match that's been happening in one form or another for two years, with the veteran team of Big Show & Kane taking on the WWE Tag Team champions Rob Van Dam & Rey Misterio. In the end, the new blood prevailed as the champions picked up the win to retain the Tag Team Championship.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champion Maria vs. challengers Torrie Wilson & Ashley Massaro in a Handicap Bra & Panties match for the WWE Women's title. In this handicap match, Maria faced both Torrie Wilson and Ashley Massaro for the WWE Women's Championship. The three women fought like maniacs, but Maria somehow pulled out the victory to retain her championship, though it was clear she had the help of Stephanie McMahon who interfered when needed.
  • TITLE MATCH: Champion William Regal vs. challenger Mark Henry for the WWE title. The penultimate match, with William Regal defending his WWE Championship against Mark Henry in a match that lived up to its hype. In the end, it was Regal who walked away victorious, remaining WWE champion to the delight of the Boston crowd.
  • SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH: Team Angle (Angle, Batista, Orton, Jamie Noble, Matt Bentley) vs. Team Edge (Edge, Carlito, MNM, Ricky Steamboat). The main event was a 5 on 5 Survivor Series match, with Team Angle taking on Team Edge in a brutal battle. In the end, it came down to Kurt Angle and Ricky Steamboat, who put on a classic wrestling clinic for the Boston crowd. Despite Steamboat's heroics, he was unable to pick up the win, as Team Angle emerged victorious when "The Dragon" tapped out. After the match, Jay Lethal attacked Edge with a steel chair, setting up their rivalry for months to come.

In other wrestling news:

• Irish Whip Wrestling is looking for new talent. They have already gained a new rookie from their training school, Kash Dinero.
• Joey Mercury suffered a spinal cord compression. MNM will be out of the tag team picture for at least a year.
• Tom Lawlor is taking a hiatus to focus on his upcoming MMA fight.
• Ash won the BCW Can-Am Unified Television title from Gutter.
• The WSU Spirit title changed hands, as The Spice Princess pinned "Scuffy" Scundo.
• IWA Puerto Rico hired Ronin, Sexy Juliet, and Mana The Polynesian Warrior.

In Strong Bad's Room...

Starring:

STRONG BAD: {singing} Email, email, it's time for school! Come and learn how to be partially cool!

STRONG BAD: And there's no name. Let's see, you're... {typing} "Giant Brontosaurus", from Parts Unknown. Oh yeah. Nobody short of One Man Gang could lift this guy. {clears the screen and types} Well Bronto, there's no better way to learn than by example. Follow me to my ludicrously expensive office!

{Cut to Strong Bad in a fancy suit, sitting at an executive desk. The Sizzleweight belt is hanging behind him.}

STRONG BAD: Here I am, sitting in my lavish office, surrounded by stacks of cash, championship belts, and middle-aged men weeping profusely. It's all part of the show! Now then, let's get biznizz-AY! My super cool strategy for taking All-World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment worldwi—er, wait. We don't have any overseas territories yet. They cost money. Forget I said that. Let me think...

{He pulls down a display showing financial charts and graphs, one reading "Johnny the Bull Market"}

STRONG BAD: Okay, well, first off, we gotta focus on building a larger fanbase. Maybe look into some crowd-funding or merchandise deals. Also, try and get some celebrity endorsements. You know, like Horace Hogan saying his famous catchphrase... "Can I get cab fare, kid?" That'd be huge! And don't forget about the insider rags; you gotta get the word out there!

{He switches the display to a family watching a TV reading "Grab Them Cakes!"}

STRONG BAD: Secondly, we need to start a weekly television show. Wrestling on TV is where it's at! And not just any TV channel; we need to shoot for something big like Channel America. We also need sponsors like GNC or maybe even New Coke! And don't forget about air molecules and protons, either; those'll really fill out the fat stacks o' cash.

{The display switches to a picture of Strong Bad, labeled "dressup SB as million dollar man??"}

STRONG BAD: Finally, we need more talent. AWMPSCE needs to be a juggernaut of unstoppable awesomeness, ready to topple the likes of WWF, WCW, and TMNT: The Next Mutation. So send in those VHS tapes, kids! Maybe we'll find the next big thing behind five bucks worth of scones at Wendy's. Or at least someone who can pretend to be. You tell me, Bronto old pal, what do you think? Sound like a plan to you? Sounds more like...a plancha! {chuckles} I crack myself up sometimes. Y'know what else is cool? My custom made Strong Bad skateboard with—

{The Poopsmith enters the office. He stares silently and taps his foot.}

STRONG BAD: Whaddaya mean YOUR office?! I'm the CEO of Global Stardom Entertainment, formerly known as AWMPSCE!

{The Poopsmith taps the desk sign reading "The Poopsmith: Owner, AWMPSCE"}

STRONG BAD: Ohhhh. Guess I forgot that part, huh? Um…sorry bout that. Let's just kinda forget about all this and pretend it didn't happen. Alright big guy? I'll even lend ya my Official Strong Bad Didgeridoo with Sausage Pouch™.

{The Poopsmith is shown leaving the room.}

STRONG BAD: Okay. So where were we? Ah yes! Giant Bronto, say you agree with my strategies, sign and date below! {reaches for a pen} Oh wait, there aren't any pens on this desk. Never mind, then. Cool, thanks big guy! See ya around!

{The Paper comes down, reading <click here to email strong bad>}

 

A heel John Cena, aj styles in wwe early and william Regal is world champion? He hasn't thrown his first show and already strong bad is messing with stuff.

[same-old-davey]

1 hour ago, sonny912 said:

A heel John Cena, aj styles in wwe early and william Regal is world champion? He hasn't thrown his first show and already strong bad is messing with stuff.

Plus Marcus Cor Von in the WWE title picture on the regular. Can't beat the chaos of "advance 2 years".

[sonny912]

49 minutes ago, same-old-davey said:

Plus Marcus Cor Von in the WWE title picture on the regular. Can't beat the chaos of "advance 2 years".

I thought Marcus was teaming with Matt Hardy right now?

[same-old-davey]

9 minutes ago, sonny912 said:

I thought Marcus was teaming with Matt Hardy right now?

I mean in his previous match history.

[sonny912]

30 minutes ago, same-old-davey said:

I mean in his previous match history.

Well alot of people think he should've been nwa champion back tea's early days so good for him. How is tna doing right now? Neither it or roh showed up in the wrestling news.

[same-old-davey]

7 hours ago, sonny912 said:

Well alot of people think he should've been nwa champion back tea's early days so good for him. How is tna doing right now? Neither it or roh showed up in the wrestling news.

TNA: Financially good but sufferes from nothing interesting happening at all. Champ: Sting.

ROH: Practically catching up to TNA in size and money, giving out very good product. Champ: Brian Danielson.

[sonny912]

5 hours ago, same-old-davey said:

TNA: Financially good but sufferes from nothing interesting happening at all. Champ: Sting.

ROH: Practically catching up to TNA in size and money, giving out very good product. Champ: Brian Danielson.

Ah, so pretty much the same as real life then, cool.

[same-old-davey]

December 2007 week 1 (1st half)

• The best matches from this week's Raw, from Augusta, ME:
  • Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio. The two former cruiserweight champions faced off in a quick match, with Jamie Noble picking up the win.
  • AJ Styles vs. Mr. Kennedy in a No Disqualification match. A hard-hitting contest between two former TNA stars, with AJ Styles walking away victorious after hitting Mr. Kennedy with the Pelé Kick.
  • William Regal, Funaki and René Duprée vs. Mark Henry, Marcus Cor Von and Matt Bentley. This match featured some impressive spots, including a diving splash from René Duprée onto all three of his opponents. Mark Henry picked up the win for his team after hitting Regal with a World's Strongest Slam.
• One from the New Japan Alive tour:
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi and New Japan Heroes (Liger and Tiger Mask IV) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Cho-Ten (Tenzan and Chono). A fun, fast-paced tag team match featuring some of the biggest names in New Japan Pro Wrestling. In the end, it was Hiroshi Tanahashi who scored the winning pin on Chono to secure victory for his team.
• OZ Academy's main event this week:
  • Azumi Hyuga, Misae Genki and Kaori Yoneyama vs. Nanae Takahashi and The Maniacs (Hikaru and Hotta). Another exciting women's wrestling match from OZ Academy, with Misae Genki submitting Nanae Takahashi to earn the win for her team.
• AAA Sin Limite's main trios match:
  • Blue Demon Jr, Abismo Negro and Octagón vs. La Parka, Chessman and Charly Manson. A solid matchup featuring some big names in lucha libre. La Parka and Charly Manson got the win for their team after hitting Abismo Negro with a double superkick.

• In other wrestling news:
  • Masanobu Fuchi has recovered from his injuries sustained at AJPW's recent show and is expected to return to action soon.
  • Referee El Piero is leaving AAA due to personal reasons.
  • Taylor Texas and Tim W. Nelly have graduated from ROH's training camp and will be making their debuts in the new year.
  • Miss Jackie Gayda is joining The Diamonds in the Rough on TNA Impact!
  • WWE is confirmed to be releasing Spirit Squad's Johnny Jeter.
  • Look forward to new feuds in Frontier Wrestling Alliance as their current champion, Hade Vansen, prepares to defend his title against Andy Simmonz at the next event.
  • Abyss may be making a cameo appearance on WWC Superestrellas de la Lucha Libre soon.

In The Poopsmith's office...

Starring:

{The camera cuts to the Poopsmith and Strong Bad in an office.}

STRONG BAD: Alright! It's time for our first AWMPSCE event!

{The Poopsmith gives a silent thumbs up}

STRONG BAD: Haha. Yeah it's gonna be something to see. But seriously, this is gonna be huge. We're going to outdo PWG, OVW, HGTV, and maybe even BumFights. I mean, how could we lose? We got all the best talents and everything.

{Strong Bad motions towards a row of fan created characters hanging out in the hallway with big ol' medieval pillories around their necks}

STRONG BAD: What do you guys think of your new roles as pro wrestlers?

{Haysi Fantayzee has her eyebrows raised}

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: {rolls his eyes} Uh...yeah...

STRONG BAD: Yay! Now, down to business... Our schedule is gonna be two events per month. And they're gonna be so awesome that everyone will be required by law to watch them. First, we've got "Black Hole's Beautiful Gravity". That one should be pretty self-explanatory. Then, we have our "Empty High School Gymnasium Show" which takes place...uh...in Empty High School Gymnasium. And that's about it.

{Strong Bad exits the room, and comes across the Drive-Thru Whale}

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: {crackling speaker voice} Welcome the crap to Blubb-O's, may I stab your order?

STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Ah yes. Fast food whale. The world famous referee. Right.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: No more than three ketchup packets in your bloodstream at a time, ma'am.

STRONG BAD: Yeah...but can you count to three in under two minutes while doing the limbo rock? I didn't think so.

{Drive-Thru Whale plays the low-quality Blubb-O's jingle}

STRONG BAD: Anyway, we also need a ring announcer. Who knows how to say "Ladies and gentlemen, the main event...

{long pause}

STRONG BAD: ...is...

{longer pause}

STRONG BAD: ...STRONG BAD!!!"

{Strong Bad looks at The Announcer chatting in the hallway}

STRONG BAD: You know what? I think he's the best ring announcer we could get.

{The Poopsmith is shown standing in front of the door with a frown on his face.}

STRONG BAD: Well I didn't ask for your opinion Poopsmith! What would you know about wrestling? Just go back to your crappy office and do AWMPSCE's taxes or something!

{The Poopsmith storms out the door}

STRONG BAD: Hold up... I forgot the premium gimmicks! What kind of unhinged hunk of muscle do I want to dress up as tonight? Hmmm... What would Thy Dungeonman do?

Edited November 17, 2023 by same-old-davey
minor edit

[same-old-davey]

Ye find yeself in yon LOCKAROOM. It smelleth of MOISTMOST in here.
Ye see a CHEST O' GIMMICKS. Obvious exits are SOUTH and ROOFTOP.
What wouldst thou deau?

> open chest

Riches abound! A veritable king's ransom of slightly stained spandex! Ye see:

• SIR BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE
• IL CARTOGRAPHER
• THE WILD VACATIONERS
• THE FOREIGN OBJECT BROS.
• THE SANCTUM OF SPIKY SHOULDER PADS
• THE FACEPAINT CONNECTION
• YOUR TREMENDOUS-ABBED OWNDANGSELF

What wouldst thou deau? (vote below!!)
>

[SonOfSharknado]

• SIR BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE! 

[same-old-davey]

Juss got an offsite vote for THE FOREIGN OBJECT BROS.

[same-old-davey]

Backstage Shenanigans...

Starring:

{Open on the locker room where Strong Bad and Bubs are staging a mock court for Rocoulm}

ROCOULM: {enters} Uh, excuse me, but it's not a cell phone; it's a PDA. It's got all my notes and stuff inside.

BUBS: Well, I don't care if it's got all the secret lore of Final Destination 5 inside it! We pay you money to jerk curtains here, remember?

ROCOULM: Well...

BUBS: Now look, this is simple. Do you have your match notes or do you not?

ROCOULM: Um...

STRONG BAD: No, that's okay buddy. It's not like anyone ever gets fired for-reals from pro wrestling anyway.

ROCOULM: Ohhhh.

BUBS: Alright. So, I guess this means no notes at all then?

ROCOULM: Yeah.

BUBS: I thought so. Okay, well we'll just have to settle this like men. You vs. Garbles and The Goblin tonight in tag team action.

ROCOULM: Ohhhhh, okay! Tag team action! That's cool!

STRONG BAD: Ha ha! And you thought I was going to fire you, didn't you?

BUBS: I'd like to say I did, but Smithy's afraid to give me that kinda power.

STRONG BAD: Come on Bubs! You know what? We're going to be talking about this for weeks! {He points to the door} Let's get outta here!

ROCOULM: Hey guys, I think I'm gonna head into my painting for a bit, I need some time to think things over.

STRONG BAD: Good idea! Don't forget your horrible torch.

{Strong Bad and Bubs exit the locker room as Strong Sad comes up}

STRONG SAD: What happened? Is Rocoulm alright?

STRONG BAD: Who cares? He's still getting paid.

STRONG SAD: But he's just such a nice guy.

STRONG BAD: {looks at him} Don't you start too, Dump Matsumoto.

STRONG SAD: Sorry.

{Strong Bad looks at Strong Sad and goes back inside}

[same-old-davey]

Got a late offsite vote for SIR BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE so that's who I'm going with right now

[same-old-davey]

AWMPSCE Black Hole's Beautiful Gravity

{The camera pans out to show The Announcer and Homsar sitting in their comfy chairs. A banner reading "Welcome Back To AWMPSCE!" is hanging behind them.}

HOMSAR: AaAaAa L.L. cool beans, folks! Welcome back to a lonely tennis champ's last breath of pickle juice! And I must say, Cherry Jim, ain't this the saddest catamaran you ever sliced?

THE ANNOUNCER: It certainly is, Homsar! Just think, only one month ago, we were all sitting in an empty basement arena, wondering which way the wind was blowing. Now look at us—we're back in action and ready to give the fans exactly what they want!

HOMSAR: That's right! AaAa, and speaking of fancy, I hear that Sam the Sham laced my lattice with next month's rent. How about that?

THE ANNOUNCER: You heard correctly, Homsar. The Jack 'Em Up Kid is indeed here, so make sure to give him a warm welcome when he makes his appearance later on in the show.

HOMSAR: Sounds like Terry Tuesday! Well, let's not keep a one-eyed dog crumbling, shall we? AaAaAaA! Let's head down to Texas and shake a corn flake!

{Cut to a shot of The Announcer now in the ring as he introduces the two participants.}

THE ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for tonight's opening bout! Introducing first, from the skeletal side of the street, at a combined weight of 270 pounds of pure gothic muscle... THE SKULLSTERS!

{The crowd cheers as Crack Stuntman With an Edgy Mask and Rocoulm come out onto the stage, flexing their muscles and waving to the adoring crowd. They climb up onto the turnbuckle and strike a brooding pose before making their way to the ring.}

THE ANNOUNCER: And their opponents, introducing first, hailing from the land of no mustaches, THE GOBLIN!

{The crowd boos as The Goblin enters the arena, rolling his eyes at the fans' lack of originality. He sneers before making his way to the ring.}

THE ANNOUNCER: And last but not least, his partner, THEEEEE TONGUE TWISTER!

{The crowd goes mild as The Tongue Twister takes his place in the ring. Rocoulm stands outside, bouncing on the mat with excitement. Meanwhile, Twister and Goblin exchange a wary glance.}

HOMSAR: Well, Thunder Force, it looks like we've got ourselves a late night Himalayan speedboat race. AaAaA who's your senator?

THE ANNOUNCER: It's hard to say, Homsar. Both teams are evenly matched and have been training rigorously for months now. But one thing is for sure—it's going to be one heck of a ride!

The Tongue Twister & The Goblin vs. The Skullsters (Rocoulm & Crack Stuntman With An Edgy Mask)

VS

THE TONGUE TWISTER: Who's the mysterious monster under that mask? Charlie Brown From Outta Town?

CRACK STUNTMAN: Hi, kids! BLAAAAHH'm the creep that skulks in the night!

Even though these two teams consisted of mismatched pairs, they still gave the people a hardcore brawl. Several times I thought someone was going to do something that took this match from "good" to "grood," but it never quite got there for me. Crack Stuntman's luchagoth character had to be some kind of copyright infringement on The Black Family, and other such gothic rudos. Rocoulm also was very interesting looking, and even tried using his torch at one point during the match. Needless to say, their antics were canceled out by The Tongue Twister & Goblin who looked like they belonged in the Parent's Basement Championship Arena. The Skullsters picked up the win after a combination of a reverse hurricanrana into a spinebuster by Crack Stuntman. It was so easy to choose favorites here...but since I must...I would give a personal shoutout to the super mysterious character of Rocoulm along with Crack Stuntman!

Winner: The Skullsters (Rating: 21) **CRAP OF THE NIGHT**

{In the ring, Kaiser von Fettblütig is cutting a promo}

KAISER VON FETTBLÜTIG: Many danke for coming out, folks! Man, it feels good to be in the USA! This place has changed so much since last year... It's great to see all of my old foods--I mean friends again. The fans are wonderful, and they didn't even boo me out of the city this time! Ha ha! And even better than winning is when I don't have to exert a whole lot of effort to get there! That's why I've been working hard with The Big Cheese to bring you all something really special tonight. We want to make sure that we're giving the fans what they want to see and not wasting their time on boring speeches--

{Stanktrooper and Axe-Gun run down from the entrance ramp and attack Fettblütig with their foreign objects}

KAISER VON FETTBLÜTIG: No, no! Let me finish! Please! I won't get to say my new catchphrase if you interrupt me!

{The two men pick up Fettblütig and throw him to the outside of the ring. Fettblütig gets up and runs into the crowd, holding his invisible arm in pain}

The Sad Kids & Senor Cardgage vs. Larry Palaroncini, Haysi Fantayzee & Marshie

VS

SAD LAD: This guy

SAD LASS: smells like turpentine.

This match was chaotic to the point of being ridiculous. We got a referee who was distracted taking everyone's burger orders, Larry Palaroncini did a dance for his second wind, Haysi Fantayzee went flying off the top rope for a splash, and Marshie was threating to eat everyone's hearts out! I tell you right now, this match will be in my personal collection, because it had everything going for it- costumes, silliness, and almost a wrestling move at one point. The bulk of Senor Cardgage's offense consisted of him walking up to his opponent and asking "where's the plunger's office, Kensington?" As much as the crowd hated to see it, Senor just didn't have it today. On account of that, the otherwise competent Sad Kids were squashed in less than 4 minutes. However, having Larry, Haysi and Marshie join forces immediately put me into doubt. Almost, but not quite a power stable.

Winners: Larry Palaroncini/Haysi Fantayzee/Marshie (Rating: 32)

{Outside the ring in a makeshift studio, the announcer interviews The Greatest American Bubs}

THE ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, The Greatest American Bubs! Welcome back to AWMPSCE!

THE GREATEST AMERICAN BUBS: Thanks, The Announcer! It's always great to be under the lights, surrounded by all of my great lady fans who share my love for mustachioed Bubs! Now, you know that last month, Booker Z tried his best to take me down a notch or two. But, as usual, he completely bungled that crap! And tonight, we have quite a show in store for everyone. In the main event, The Jack 'em Up Kid will go toe-to-featureless-stump against a veteran named Sir Boliver Turnbuckle. Should be quite a debacle, eh?

THE ANNOUNCER: Indeed it will, Bubs! And speaking of matches, we also have an exciting four-man match on our hands tonight. Care to shed some light on this upcoming bout?

THE GREATEST AMERICAN BUBS: Absolutely! This evening, it'll be Gardenboy... Magnificent Marzipan... Gary the Legend... and your red-white-and-blue (but mostly orange) pal Bubs, all going at it to determine who gets the Continental Breakfast title. It's like a big, southern-fried cage match!

THE ANNOUNCER: {whispering} We can't afford a cage tonight.

THE GREATEST AMERICAN BUBS: Whatever. But I have faith in all three of these guys to give me a good fight. But you know what they say, Announcer... the best man--or woman--always wins. And yours truly will be that best man or woman tonight. So buckle up, America, and get ready for some old-fashioned hossified rasslin'!

Title Match: Axe-Gun vs. Stanktrooper vs. Kaiser Von Fettblütig for the AWMPSCE 1/2 Women's, 1/2 Man's title

VSVS

AXE-GUN: THE GLOCK GAVE ME A BAD RASH!

The title match itself was another example of the concept of all out action, pitting a riot officer, a guy in a spiked helmet, and a heavily-armed giant within a ring festooned with the Kaiser's leftover snacks. The back-and-forth between Von Fettblütig and Stanktrooper was entertaining, but it quickly became apparent that Axe-Gun was the one to beat. Once the foreign objects were wrangled away from Axe-Gun, he showed his true strength, throwing punches almost too fast for the most seasoned eye to follow.

The announcer was distracted by Von Fettblütig's repeated requests for chewy cookies while Axe-Gun was obliterating Stanktrooper. Unfortunately, having a dozen licensed Chargin' Chuck nutrition bars didn't help him win the match. The finish came when Axe-Gun picked up Stanktrooper for a fallaway slam, while Von Fettblütig distracted the referee with requests for more Little Debbie snacks. This opened the door for a new champion- the first ever AWMPSCE 1/2 Women's 1/2 Man's Champion: Axe-Gun!

Winner and NEW Champion: Axe-Gun (Rating: 24)

Title Match: Gardenboy vs. Magnificent Marzipan vs. Gary The Legend vs. The Greatest American Bubs for the AWMPSCE Continental Breakfast title

VSVSVS

GARDENBOY: I see three gophers here that-- never mind. I see two gophers and we're all just pretendmaking the third one.

MAGNIFICENT MARZIPAN: If I find out you've been harming gophers, you're not invited to my next green tea cleanse.

This was hands down a match any Better Homes & Gardens fan would be proud of. The foursome began their battle in the ring, and quickly spilled out onto the floor as Magnificent Marzipan snatched away the title belt from the timekeeper. Meanwhile, Gardenboy and Bubs put on an equal showing outside the ring using trash cans filled to the brim with garbage.

The Greatest American Bubs surprised everyone by performing an incredible elbow drop off of the top of a stack of cereal boxes. Seeing him fly through the air made even the most seasoned wrestling fans forget about the pudding cups and hot pockets they'd gorged themselves on beforehand. In the end, it wasn't enough for Gardenboy to regain his title, as the wrestling gardener decided of his own free will to take a nap underneath Gary the Legend's imaginary hot bod. It was a restful sleep. And just like that, Gary the Legend is your new AWMPSCE Continental Breakfast Champion!

Winner and NEW Champion: Gary the Legend (Rating: 44) **MATCH OF THE NIGHT**

Title Match: Sir Boliver Turnbuckle (w/ Mr. Cheatayama) vs. The Jack 'em Up Kid for the AWMPSCE Sizzleweight title

VS

SIR BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: Fancy a spot of sporting ballyhoo, old Yank? I shall stretch ye thin and wide... forsooth!

THE JACK 'EM UP KID: Hoo yeah! Hoo yeah! Are you Jack enough to handle the Sizzleweight style?!

It seemed like we were in for an exciting match as both Sir Boliver and the Jack 'em Up Kid came out to loud cheers from their respective fans. However, it was clear early on that Mr. Cheatayama had other plans. As soon as the bell rang, he tripped up Jack 'em Up Kid and sent him careening into the steel turnbuckles. Meanwhile, Sir Boliver took advantage of this distraction and delivered a swift kick to Jack 'em Up's midsection.

The referee was too busy trying to maintain order among the fans in the crowd who were starting their own "I want extra fries" chant to notice that Mr. Cheatayama was quite literally cheating to win. In all the commotion, the referee missed the decisive blow as Sir Boliver picked up Jack and performed his patented 1/8th Nelson (a move fondly referred to by some as "slightly grabbing the opponent's shoulder"). The move decided it all, as Jack was left without any dignity or chance of winning back his belt. In the end, Sir Boliver became champion and proved once again why he is considered one of best wrestlers this side of Cracker Barrel on Sunday mornings.

Winner and NEW Champion: Sir Boliver Turnbuckle (Rating: 31)

Event rating: 33

[same-old-davey]

December 2007 week 1 (2nd half)

• WWE Smackdown was taped in Portland, OR this week. The highlights:
  • John Cena & Jay Lethal vs. Edge & Booker T. The midcard event saw the two teams face off in a hard-hitting tag team match, with John Cena and Jay Lethal getting the pin after an Attitude Adjustment from Cena.
  • Title match: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Bradshaw for the World Heavyweight title. This match ended with Kurt Angle retaining his title after locking Bradshaw in the Ankle Lock submission hold.

• Japan's touring season is coming to an end with huge events. On NJPW's New Japan Best event:
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi & Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Wataru Inoue & Takashi Iizuka. A thrilling match featuring some of the top names in NJPW, with Hiroshi Tanahashi scoring the winning pin on Wataru Inoue.
  • Title match: Brock Lesnar (c) vs Jushin Thunder Liger for the IWGP Heavyweight title. This high-stakes encounter resulted in Brock Lesnar successfully defending his championship via pinfall, but not before Liger had made him bleed profusely.
• On AJPW's annual Real World Tag League:
  • Title match: RO&D (c) vs. Shuji Kondo & brother YASSHI for the AJPW World Tag Team titles. Despite valiant efforts from both challengers, RO&D successfully retained their titles thanks to a well-executed double team maneuver.
  • Real World Tag Team finals: Minoru & Keiji Mutoh vs. Kensuke Sasaki & Hiroshi Hase. Minoru & Keiji Mutoh scored the win against one of the most storied teams in wrestling history when Mutoh pinned Hiroshi Hase following a lariat.
• On NOAH Winter Navigation:
  • Title match: KENTA & Naomichi Marufuji (c) vs. Unit 21 for the GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag Team titles. A highly competitive match that saw KENTA and Marufuji retain their titles after defeating both Ikeda and Taniguchi.
  • Title match: Yoshinobu Kanemaru (c) vs. Kotaru Suzuki for the GHC Junior Heavyweight title. The GHC Junior Heavyweight Champion, Yoshinobu Kanemaru, was able to defend his belt with the help of some early interference by his stable mate, Makoto Hashi.
• On ZERO1-Max Chick & Dog Hikaru Festival:
  • Title match: Carlos Amano (c) vs. Azumi Hyuga for the ZERO1-Max Womens title. This intense battle between two of Japan's top female stars ended in a double knock out, with Amano retaining her crown.
  • Title match: Yoshinobu Kanemaru (c) vs. Naomichi Marufuji for the NWA United National Heavyweight title. Marufuji put up a valiant effort against Kanemaru but was unable to unseat him from the top spot, with Kanemaru retaining his title via pinfall.
• Also on ZERO1-Max, this year's season finale, Just Do It!:
  • Title match: Yoshinobu Kanemaru (c) vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima vs. Kendo KaShin for the NWA United National Heavyweight title. An action-packed triple threat match resulted in Yoshinobu Kanemaru retaining his championship as he pinned Katsuhiko Nakajima.

• In other wrestling news:
  • Shuu Shibutani suffered a dislocated ankle during the Chick & Dog Hikaru Festival and will be out of action for one month.
  • Ayako Sato lost her MMA fight at Fightstars 25, falling short against Mei Yamaguchi.
  • In an interview, Psicosis II hinted that he might return to Japan if his employment with AAA runs out.
  • Cinthia Moreno is leaving AAA due to injury.
  • The Colons won the WWC Tag Team titles from Ryan Bisbal & The Sandman at Superestrellas de la Lucha Libre.
  • The Sandman and Ricky Santana were involved in an altercation backstage at Superestrellas, resulting in The Sandman receiving a pay reduction.
  • Irish Whip Wrestling is initiating a new feud between Bubblegum and Red Vinny.
  • Shelton Benjamin received a fracture in his fibula during his tag team match at IWA Christmas in Puerto Rico.
  • International Wrestling Cartel is looking for additional talent to sign, specifically in the heavyweight division.
  • The annual Young Dragons Cup tournament was held in Mexico City, with Mistico being announced this year's winner.

In The Poopsmith's office...

Starring:

{Cut to Strong Bad and The Poopsmith counting a pile of cash.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, alright. Add up that last phat stack and let's see how much we made from tonight's show.

{The Poopsmith counts each bill one by one. He looks at the money in disappointment, counting once again.}

STRONG BAD: Holy crap. We made negative 77 dollars. Somebody tell me why we're even bothering with this thing!

{The Poopsmith shoots Strong Bad a look}

STRONG BAD: Hey! At least people appreciate my generosity. Now hand over that money so I can go spend it on ill-gotten gains. You can keep the couch change as a bonus.

{The Poopsmith hands over his share of the earnings.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go make it rain one dolla bills at Club Technochocolate. Yes!

{Strong Bad walks away, humming happily to himself as he plans his shopping spree. The Poopsmith sighs heavily, already regretting his decision to help out with the finances. Cut back to the wrestling ring.}

[same-old-davey]

December 2007 week 2

• This week, WWE Raw came to Wings Stadium and featured:
  • In-ring promo with Paul Heyman, Shawn Michaels & Hulk Hogan. Heyman proposed a tag team match between Michaels and Hogan vs. Randy Orton and Batista; the winners would face Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio the following week. Hogan agreed to the stipulation but Michaels backed out, stating that he is still on a strict hiatus until January.
  • William Regal, Serial Thrilla Helms & Kassius Ohno vs. Marcus Cor Von, Chavo Guerrero & Matt Bentley. This match was interrupted by René Duprée who confronted Cor Von after last week's defeat, but a well-timed cavalry charge from Mark Henry allowed Chavo Guerrero to win via pinfall.
• On the Smackdown go-home show for Armageddon:
  • John Cena & Kurt Angle vs. Edge & Bradshaw. Cena pinned Bradshaw after an Attitude Adjustment, giving them the win before Angle's title match at Armageddon.
• The feature matches and segments from WWE Armageddon, coming from Philadelphia:
  • In-ring promo with Steve Austin. Austin was greeted by a standing ovation from the fans.
  • Title match: Carlito (c) vs. Simon Dean for the WWE United States title. The match ended in a disqualification after Dean used an unapproved weapon. Carlito retained his title.
  • Title match: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Edge in 2-out-of-3 Falls for the WWE World Heavyweight title. After a match where both men got color, Edge pinned Angle in the second fall after a Spear to win the title.

• TNA held Turning Point at the Carolina Center. The featured match:
  • Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Benoit. Jericho pinned Benoit after a Codebreaker, earning another win in this four-month feud.

• Ring of Honor held a special Chicago Spectacular event:
  • Title match: Bryan Danielson (c) vs Nigel McGuinness for the ROH World title. The rematch between these longstanding rivals ended in a 60-minute time limit draw.
• On the post-PPV episode of ROH Wrestling TV:
  • Lacey's Angels vs. Matt Sydal & Jimmy Yang. BJ Whitmer won the match for his team with a roll-up, with some interference from their manager.

• In Japanese news, Pro Wrestling NOAH had their Great Voyage:
  • Title match: Naomichi Marufuji & KENTA (c) vs. Unit 21 for the Junior Heavyweight Tag Team title. A rematch from Winter Navigation. The match ended in a draw.
  • Title match: Yoshinobu Kanemaru (c) vs. Takashi Sugiura for the GHC Junior Heavyweight title. Kanemaru took several painful drops on his head, but eventually pinned Sugiura after a Sunset flip to retain his title.
  • Title match: Minoru Suzuki (c) vs. Yoshihiro Takayama for the GHC Heavyweight title. Suzuki submitted Takayama after a Gotch-style Piledriver to retain his title.
• NEO had a great showing with their Another Sweet Field event:
  • Azumi Hyuga, Natsuki*Head & Mariko Yoshida vs. Phantom Vintage & Haruka Matsuo. This match featured several high-spots, including a double-team move from Natsuki*Head and Yoshida to pin Matsuo for the win.

• In other wrestling news:
  • Do FIXER won the Open The Triangle Gate titles from Blood Generation.
  • Jillian Hall announced her engagement to Tank Toland, despite the fact he was recently fired from WWE.
  • Shelton Benjamin has just signed a new deal with TNA, ending his brief stint with IWA Puerto Rico.
  • Dragon Gate young lion Ryunosuke Takei received a warning from the company after a botched dive during a recent show.
  • Joshi fighter Vancouver Cat received a fracture in her jaw during a match.
  • New champions in AAA: Princesa Blanca is the new Reina De Reinas, and Ecoria & La Diabólica won the Mixed Tag Team titles.
  • New champions in CMLL: Halloween, Damián 666 & Brazo De Plata gained control of the World Trios titles, and Marcela is your World Women's champ.
  • Fuka has taken an MMA fight against Lena Ovchynnikova.
  • Minoru Fujita posted a photo of him holding hands with Cherry, hinting at a relationship between them.
  • Cibernético has made claims that CMLL is running a 'lucha libre realista falsa' product.

At a Massachusetts convention center...

Starring:File:!bkingman.jpg

{Sad Lass nervously enters the dimly lit locker room, trying to find her name on the sign-in sheet. She sees Ace Steel and walks up to him.}

ACE STEEL: Hey there! You must be Sad Lass. I'm Ace. Nice to meet you. This is Michael Hutter over there. We're facing each other in the main event for tonight's show.

{Michael looks at her with a smirk before going back to flexing in front of a mirror}

SAD LASS: Scary...

ACE STEEL: {chuckles} Don't worry, we all started somewhere. You're the opener, right?

SAD LASS: Uh...?

ACE STEEL: Just follow our lead and do what we tell you. And remember, if things get rough, just use the ropes or get Amilson with your lasso of sadness. She hates that move. Now let's go warm up!

{With that, Sad Lass follows Ace Steel to the gymnasium area, where she begins her stretching routine alongside Amilson and the other female wrestlers. She overhears people talking.}

ESTHER MILETICH: {whispers} Who's the rookie? She looks like she could be our next breakout star...

HALLOWEEN BETTY: I heard she attempted a freaking Orange Crush during that Black Hole event. But it got reversed. I wonder if she even knows that move.

{Sad Lass smiles nervously, trying to blend in.}

Sad Lass vs. Amilson

VS

The wrestlers started off with a collar and elbow tie-up but quickly turned into a test of strength. Sad Lass tried her best to overpower Amilson, muttering, "Curse you..." only for Amilson to respond by starting a 2CW chant in the crowd. After regaining control, Amilson hit a moonsault that made even the cynical onlookers gasp. But it wasn't enough to defeat the pint-sized Victorian lass, who surprised everyone by pinning Amilson with a small package! The audience gave mild cheers as Dan Tanaka raised her lack of hand, proclaiming she was unstoppable.

Winner: Sad Lass (Rating: 18)

[same-old-davey]

December 2007 week 3

• We had a solid WWE Raw from the Augusta Civic Center. The main event:
  • AJ Styles & William Regal vs. Jamie Noble & Chavo Guerrero. Styles took a bad tumble early on and struggled with his hip throughout most of the match. Noble picked up the win to earn himself a spot at the Royal Rumble.
• WWE Smackdown in Portland, ME was the better show:
  • In-ring promo with Triple H and Steve Austin. Trips delivered a classy promo to Austin defending Vince McMahon and comparing him to Ted Turner. The crowd seemed to enjoy it, despite chanting "you suck" when Austin brought up the name "Vince."
  • Title match: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Kane & Big Show for the WWE Tag Team titles. Mysterio and Show started brawling right from the bell, Kane got knocked out, and Mysterio countered a chokeslam into a 619 for three.
  • John Cena & Kurt Angle vs. Edge & Carlito. Edge pinned Angle after hitting him with an elevated spine-buster, giving him his first win as World Heavyweight champion.

• This week's episode of ROH Wrestling was the go-home for Final Battle:
  • Nigel McGuinness & Ace Steel vs. Abyss & Low-Ki. A great opening bout with plenty of big moves across all four participants. McGuinness took Ki’s Ki Krusher for the pin.
  • Title match: Generation Next (c) vs. The Faction for the ROH World Tag Team titles. Tons of fast-paced action that saw Aries (who's spent most of his career as a tag team wrestler) pick up a big victory for his generation.
• And the main event for ROH Final Battle:
  • Title match: Nigel McGuinness vs. Christopher Daniels for the vacant ROH Pure title. Lots of great high-flying work in this one, but that didn’t do much to halt the momentum built by Nigel McGuinness who hit Tower of London on Daniels to pick up the biggest win of his brief ROH career.

• On this week's episode of OZ Academy:
  • 3G vs. Onna No Ko Tachi No Ni. It certainly looked like they were doing some damage throughout their battle, but not enough to pull the crowd interest. In the end, after a double powerbomb by Mayumi Ozaki and Bison Sakura off the top rope, they finished off Carlos Amano & Etsuko Mita to steal the victory. I don't know whose idea was to have a WWE inspired "Battle" before Golden Rose started.
• OZ Academy also held their Golden Rose event in Koshien South Ground:
  • Full faction war: 3G vs. Onna No Ko Tachi No Ni. As noted above, they did put in a pretty good effort despite the lackluster early going. After the close finish at TV, it continued here with Bison Sakura getting isolated and costing 3G. Then, moments later, Amano missed an elbow drop and got rolled into a small package for the expected loss. This means Yumiko Hotta will get to stay in 3G... for another couple of days anyway as Aja Kong has been booked to go toe-to-Toe with Hotta next Wednesday, hoping to dominate the senior member.
  • Azumi Hyuga vs. Aja Kong. Hyuga took a quick win over Kong on this one, once again proving just how effective her in-ring work can be without having anyone behind her the entire match. She could prove herself more as time moves forward.

• In other wrestling news:
  • ZERO1-Max have signed a deal to send workers on excursion overseas to ASW, the famous British promotion that recently earned a seat in the National Wrestling Alliance.
  • CMLL made a broadcast deal with Florida network Catch 47, which allows them to distribute their shows under the name CMLL Warriors Of The Ring.
  • Kanbe Ankh has graduated from Dragon Gate Trueborn Dojo, where CIMA also used to train, and will start appearing for Dragon Gate tours.
  • Tiger Mask IV married his partner yesterday in a private ceremony.
  • Blue Demon Jr. won the AJPW Junior Heavyweight title for the second time when he pinned Shocker on AAA Sin Límite.
  • There will be a new feud over the WWC World Tag Team title in January with Demolition X getting back together with James Storm.
  • Mauro Renallo appeared on a late night radio show and spoke candidly of having been suspended by NCW back in October due to an altercation weeks before that ended up costing thousands in damages to Phil Belanger's car, which was driven off the set in the incident.
  • NWA UK has started a feud between Hade Vansen and Johnny Moss, starting out at next month's regular event.
  • Jade won the IWW Girl Power title last weekend when she beat Britani Knight for it.
  • Today's Rookie of the Week is Rena McKenzie from Frontier Wrestling Alliance. She looks like real jobber material, but don't be fooled, she knows the flow of the match and whenever she gets on the mic, it's always a crowd pleaser.

In Strong Bad's room...

Starring:

{Cut to Strong Bad reading his email on his computer}

STRONG BAD: Alright, which hot mom is emailing me today. Aww, The King of Town?! No, not this time.

{He opens the email and reads aloud as he types out his reply.}

STRONG BAD: He says he's going to South Dakota to wrestle this week. How'd he get noticed? Well, he is the king of town after all. So I guess it makes sense. I still think they should have given him some star power instead of letting him job out. Anyway, I wish him luck down there and I hope the coyotes don't steal his children.

{Strong Bad hits send on his computer keyboard and checks his email again, seeing a message from Crack Stuntman. Cut back to Crack on his phone in the car.}

CRACK STUNTMAN: {typing while speaking} Hey! So you wanna see my newest bootleg, man? It's really crazy.

STRONG BAD: Yeah yeah whatever dude. Get to the point! What did you do this time?

CRACK STUNTMAN: {chuckles} Okay, okay, here goes. You ready for this?

STRONG BAD: Just go already before you crash into a school bus.

CRACK STUNTMAN: This video was filmed at a local indie wrestling show in my home state of South Dakota.

STRONG BAD: Huh? Oh no...

CRACK STUNTMAN: Just watch, bro. It'll make your head explode.

{The video starts playing, showing scenes from the match between King of Town and a Puerto Rican named Tommy Diablo. Cut back to Crack in the car watching the video. Strong Bad sits stunned by what he sees.}

CRACK STUNTMAN: And now, enjoy a behind-the-scenes look at my appearance during this show.

{The video begins again but focuses on Crack rather than the actual match. Strong Bad continues to be stunned.}

CRACK STUNTMAN: Here, let me help ya out with that!

{Homestar Runner comes up behind Strong Bad and slaps him across the face before leaving the room.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {running away} He promised me five bucks! Peeow!

Breyer Wellington vs. Crack Stuntman

VS

This match was a showcase of hardcore brawling, with both wrestlers trading punches before finally managing to lock up. Crack Stuntman tried his usual inexperienced flailing but Breyer Wellington proved too agile for him, using his speed advantage to dodge around the larger opponent like a pro. In desperation, Crack Stuntman attempted a daring splash off the turnbuckle, only to land awkwardly on his face after being pushed in mid-air by an unseen hand (it was probably Biscuitdoughhandsman, that scoundrel). Despite this setback, he continued the fight until finally succumbing to Breyer Wellington's devastating bite attack! The crowd gave mixed reactions - some cheered the victor while others sighed disappointingly at the loss of their favorite chaotic character.

Winner: Breyer Wellington (Rating: 21)

Tommy Diablo vs. Kaiser Von Fettblütig

VS

Both wrestlers came out to menacing music, with Tommy Diablo taunting the audience and Kaiser Von Fettblütig smirking arrogantly. They wasted no time getting into the ring and started locking up immediately. Despite his larger opponent, Kaiser Von Fettblütig proved remarkably nimble for a man of significant girth (he must have that high metabolism in him). He managed to swat away several dives from Tommy Diablo before launching an impressive DDT off the top rope! However, it wasn't quite enough as Tommy Diablo countered with a well-timed low blow followed by a roll-up pin combination. The audience booed at what they considered a dirty win, but Tommy Diablo simply laughed to himself while raising his hand in triumph.

Winner: Tommy Diablo (Rating: 18)

[same-old-davey]

Interactive time

Ye enter yon BOOKING OFFICE. (Also known as YE MUSTY BASEMENT.)
Ye see a MATCH CARD. Obvious exits are TO BUBS' FOR COLD ONES.

What wouldst thou deau?

>look match card

Ye have done the best with what ye have. Which is to say, not freakin' much.
Horrors abound! Ye be seriously lackin' in the MAIN EVENT department!
Chooseth one of these options three:
GARDENBOY GOES FOR THE SIZZLEWEIGHT GOLD
GARY THE LEGEND AND JACK 'EM UP TAG TEAM ACTION
BOOKER Z'S ORP'N CHALLENGE

What wouldst thou deau?
>

Edited December 22, 2023 by same-old-davey
minor edit

[SonOfSharknado]

GARDENBOY GOES FOR THE SIZZLEWEIGHT GOLD