Stan Hansen: One Pissed Off Texan

[Rick Arnold]

This is the first career for the 'Death of the Territories' scenario, and to kick it off, who better to use then the Man from Borger, Texas. For those of you who don't know who Stan 'The Lariat' Hansen is, you can go [URL=http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/profiles/s/stan-hansen.html]HERE[/URL] and get educated. He ain't your precious AJ Styles. “One Pissed Off Texan”: A Wrestling Spirit career Goal: Stan Hansen’s only goal is to get in the ring and kick some puny pimple-faced punk’s ass around for 20 minutes and to get a nice paycheck for it. Of course, if someone wants to give Stan Hansen a title shot, he’ll be happy to kick the horseshit out of the crusty geriatric holding on to it. And that means YOU, Bockwinkel! Born: January 1949 Overness: USA: 75 Canada: 40 Mexico: 42 Japan: 72 U.K.: 20 Europe: 20 Australia: 20 Stats: Spirit: 84 Power: 82 Technique: 44 Speed: 8 Psychology: 84 Stamina: 64 Toughness: 88 Charisma: 92 Microphone: 89 Safety: 61 Looks: 90 Respect: 67 Finishers: The Lariat Clothesline Slingshot Texas Brainbuster Loaded Elbowpad Clothesline Running Cowbell Shot to the Head Current Contracts: All Japan Pro Wrestling – Main Eventer - $2,000 an appearance Central States – Main Eventer - $800 an appearance Coming up: The First Week. Watch as the fans of Japan are greeted to the two men who will tear AJPW to the ground. [IMG]http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/pictures/06/brodyhansen.jpg[/IMG] And a warning to those easily offended, this is coming straight from the mouth of Stan Hansen himself.

[Tripps04]

Looking forward to this. Can't wait to start one as a young Lex Luger. Always had the potential to be great but messed it all up.

[Rick Arnold]

The Year: 1983 The Month: November Week 1, Day 1: After receiving a call from a snot-nosed punk by the name of Vince McMahon, I’ve now got myself a contract with the WWF, earning $1,760 an appearance as an Upper Midcard. I’m due to make my first big appearance at a house show in Rhode Island. It’s time to teach these city slickers how a Texan wrestles. I showed up at the arena an hour before the show to be greeted by some runt who said I’d be working a Tag Elimination match tonight with my good pal, Dick Murdoch. Apparently we’re facing Rocky Johnson and some dumb Pollock by the name of Ivan Putski. I hit the locker rooms, hoping to get suited up and out of there before Pat Patterson came around. As for the match, after throwing them around for 30 minutes or so, Hansen slapped Putski in a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster and covered the worthless slug for an easy pin and elimination. All that was left was Rocky Johnson, who at the 38 minute mark is nearly decapitated by a Hansen Lariat, and is yet again an easy pin, as Hansen and Murdoch wrap up a clean victory and a C rated match. Week 1, Day 2: After putting on a great match, it only made sense that McMahon was begging for me and Murdoch to hang around to do a taping for Tuesday Night Titans. We decided to, and were put up against ‘Putzski’ and Rocky’s pals: Pedro Morales, Tito Santana and Jules Strongbow. They were about as much a threat to the two of us as the zit on my nose, but Vince said we needed a 3rd teammate and stuck us with some punk by the name of Paul Orndorff. The match starts with Murdoch and Hansen single-handedly destroying Morales, but Pedro ducks a Lariat clothesline and scrambles to tag in Jules Strongbow. But he’s quickly worked over, and Tito Santana is sent into the maylay. After 10 minutes of the babyfaces tagging in and out and getting their asses generally kicked, Murdoch slaps Morales in a standing figure-four leglock... but Pedro will not submit! He escapes and tags out to Tito, and the tagging in and out continues. Hansen drives Morales head into the mat with a leaping piledriver, as the blood flows freely. But Morales kicks out in time. Hansen does not look happy as he sets up Morales in a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster for the 3 count and the win. Stan Hansen on Paul Orndorff: The man did NOTHING our entire match but stand on the mat and look pretty. Many people call Orndorff ‘Mr. Wonderful’, but I don’t know about that, he’s about as useful as a steaming pile of horseshit in my book.

[Rick Arnold]

Week 1, Day 3: Vince wanted me to work the next house show down in New York, but I told him I was heading for to Minnesota. I had me a date with the Gagnes, and I wasn’t bringing flowers. I entered the arena to find Verne Gagne pacing around like a moron until he saw me. He informed me that I’d be teaming up with Blackjack Lanza and Billy Robinson to take on Mad Dog Vachon and the High Flyers, which was made up of Jim Brunzell and a wormy little runt named Greg Gagne, who also happened to be the son of Verne. I looked Verne in the eyes and told him that just because Greg was his son, it wasn’t going to stop me from breaking his neck with my lariat. I immediately walked into the locker room, saw Greg and told him to watch out, cause Stan Hansen was going to snap him in half. The runt left the locker room before anything else could go down. Smart. The match is finished when Hansen busts Vachon open with a leaping piledriver and follows it up with a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster for the win. Other highlights include Hansen chucking ‘Rambo’ Greg Gagne over the top rope to the floor and Blackjack Lanza pounding on Brunzell. Week 1, Day 4: The night before the weekly cuts, and Verne asks me to stick around to work the main event of the AWA All-Star Wrestling program. Apparently my good friend, Bruiser Brody, and I will be working against Sgt. Slaughter and Wahoo McDaniel. The match started off as Brody and Hansen used quick tags to take Wahoo down and out, as Slaughter came in and followed Hansen to the outside. A brawl ensued, that ended with Hansen busting Slaughter open with a cowbell shot. But they returned to the ring and Slaughter tags Wahoo back in. Hansen gives Brody a shot at Wahoo, as he proceeds to trash the ‘Injun’ around, including a patented Brody Big Boot, which gets Wahoo bleeding like a dog, but a missed Running Knee Drop puts the ball back in the babyfaces’ court. Brody quickly regains control and tags Hansen in, as they clothesline Wahoo to the mat. Hansen nails Wahoo with the Slingshot Texas Brainbuster... but Wahoo kicks out! The Chief manages to tag out, as Slaughter comes in, and Hansen tags in Brody. Brody floors the Sarge and nails him with the Running Knee Drop and a pin... but Slaughter kicks out at the last second! He tags out to Wahoo, as the bleeding Indian crawls back in. A leaping piledriver almost finishes Wahoo off, but he kicks out and the match continues. Hansen comes in and whips Wahoo to the ropes and nails him with the Lariat, but what’s this?! The referee is out! So Hansen picks up Wahoo and nails him with the Lariat AGAIN, but still no ref! The ref finally gets up, but Wahoo makes as scramble and in comes The Sarge again! But Hansen floors the jackass with a Lariat and pin, but the bastard kicks out. Slaughter pushes away from Hansen but bumps the ref and he’s out again. Brody tosses the cowbell to Hansen and Slaughter is nailed by it again! He puts Slaughter in the Slingshot Texas Brainbuster, but the ref will not get up. He’s finally standing, but he’s signaling to the timekeeper... NO! It’s a time limit draw at 60 minutes! The ref is signaling to the three ringside judges as they hand him a piece of paper. It’s announced that Brody and Hansen won the match 2 votes to 1. We take a break from Stan Hansen to give you some news from the first Weekly Cut from the PWI crew. Ted Dibiase and Cowboy Bob Orton Jr. pack their bags to head for the green pastures of Connecticut and the WWF. Both have just signed big written contracts with the sports entertainment powerhouse, and will be expected to report to WWF HQ in two weeks, as they wrap up contract commitments with Georgia and Mid-South (Dibiase), as well as Southwest and Mid-Atlantic (Orton). Barry Windham has been given his two weeks notice, as Florida tries to cut down on roster size. Stay tuned to PWI to find out where this talented youngster could go to next.

[Johnny_McSluggz]

This is just awesome, man. I love it.

[D. Boons Ghost]

Heh. Well done, Rick. Hansen may have been one of the most colorful personalities in wrestling, and you certainly are capturing that magnificently. Great match between Hansen & Brody (that's King Kong Brody, to you!) and Wahoo & Slaughter! Were it not for the drunken ref, you would have gotten the pin. Wahoo kicking out of that first Slingshot Brainbuster is pure Gold! That particular move is Death Incarnate. Any man that kicks out of it deserves to escape with a Time Limit Decision, heh. Great job!

[Adam Ryland]

Great stuff, enjoying a lot so far :)

[Rick Arnold]

Week 1, Day 5: I decided I wasn’t going to hang around the U.S. and told Verne Gagne I was heading over to Japan to work for All Japan, but he didn’t take it well and ‘sent me packing’ or so he says. Well forget Gagne and his damn AWA, I’ll be back and when I do they’ll be begging for me. But tonight, I have All Japan to worry about, and I got me a singles match against the man known as The Big Dust... the American Dream... yea, that schmuck. Dusty Rhodes. The match is a back and forth brawl between the two American stars, but Hansen breaks away at the 25 minute mark and blindsides Rhodes with a running cowbell shot to the head! At 32 minutes, a Hansen leaping piledriver gets the juices flowing from Rhodes’ forehead. Rhodes returns the favor by busting Hansen open with a Dipsy Doo Punch Combo. Rhodes hits a leaping piledriver in return, but Hansen kicks out in time. Two Double DDTs in a row fails to stop Hansen as Rhodes continues his offense. Another leaping piledriver and Hansen is out on the mat. Rhodes covers him... 1.. 2.. 3! Stan Hansen is done for as Rhodes claims the win. Stan Hansen on Dusty Rhodes: The so-called ‘American Dream’. Well I’ll tell you something, it’ll be a cold day in Hell before my American Dream involves an overweight, jive-talking loud-mouth! He may have beat me that day, but I tell you what, next time we stand in the ring, I’m going to kick his damn teeth out! Week 1, Day 6: I caught a plane back to the good old U.S. of A.. Now a lot of people will tell you that you’ll make more money over in Japan, that may be true, but Stan Hansen prefers to fight on his home turf. There’s nothing better then kicking some scrub’s ass in Texas. Looks like I’ll have two days off as I head up to New Hampshire for a WWF house show on Monday. In Other News: Shawn Michaels, a highly talented rookie working for Southwest, has reached a milestone, capturing his first title after beating Chick Donovan for the Southwest TV Title. Week 2, Day 1: I arrived at the arena and walked in to see McMahon talking with his pal, George Scott, probably going over the card for the evening. He came over to me and told me I wouldn’t be working a match this evening, but me and Murdoch would be shooting a series of promos that they could use for their TV shows. Now that really chaps my hide, that this city slicker has me fly all the way from freakin’ Japan, and he doesn’t even have the goddamn smarts to put me in the ring! Week 2, Day 2: Vince told me he’d see about giving me a good match tonight, so I let him go and did my interviews like the ‘boss’ told me. I decided to arrive early to check out the locker room scene, and saw that Vince was waiting for me by my locker. Tonight I’d be fight with Murdoch and his pal, Adrian Adonis, as well as that dirty island savage, Sika. Who would we be fighting? The WWF Job Squad of course. Rocky Johnson, Tony Atlas, Pedro Morales and my good buddy, Ivan ‘Putzski’. Should be an ‘eventful’ evening. Talk about a squash match, as the first few minutes is a rapid blitz of Hansen, Murdoch and Adonis trading off tags on Rocky, but Hansen takes Rocky to the floor and proceeds to smack his head against the rail post for a minute or so before tagging in the vicious Sika, who nails Rocky with a Running Samoan Headbutt for a pinfall at SEVEN minutes. After my match, Vince told me to make sure I was at the house show tomorrow, as he was fairly positive he’d have someone for me to destroy. I told him that it’d be my pleasure to destroy anyone for a paycheck.

[Rick Arnold]

Week 2, Day 4: After being snubbed on Wednesday and with Bob Geigel seemingly having no use for the best damn Texan wrestler, I decided to head home and do some work on my ranch. I had to catch a flight out to Japan this Friday, hoping I’ll have better luck. In Other News: It’s time for the Weekly Cuts, and I’m sure you’ll all itching to see the new signings and firing in the world of wrestling. While nothing groundbreaking happened this week, but youngster Curt Hennig lost out today when he was subsequently fired not just from his AWA contract, but his contract out in the Pacific Northwest. In the signings, Rick Martel is heading south, as he’s just signed a contract to go work for the Von Erichs in Texas Week 2, Day 5: Well, aside from my pal, Brody, taking on that tin-headed jackass, Harley Race tonight, I got me a tag match with Abdullah the Butcher vs. that damn fool, Dusty Rhodes, and the Nature Boy, Ric Flair. All I got to say is that Flair better get on the line with some of his plastic surgeon friends back stateside. 14 minutes into the match, after being weakened down by numerous Abby fork jabs, a charging forearm from Hansen gets Dusty Rhodes a gushing. Unable to keep him down, Rhodes makes a tag to send in a fresh Flair. The Nature Boy does some fancy work, as he manages to take Hansen down a peg, but the Butcher comes back in. After some fancy carving work on Flair’s face, it’s back to Hansen. Flair ducks a Lariat, and scrambles to the corner, sending the bleeding Rhodes back in. Rhodes gets sent to the ropes himself, but he’s not so lucky, as Hansen NAILS him with the Hansen Lariat! It’s an easy pin, as Hansen stands and spits on Rhodes’ unconscious and bloody body. What a match, folks! And in the main event, Bruiser Brody took several Race Loaded Headbutts, but he still fought on for the win. Week 2, Day 6: I travel back stateside, to find that Bob Geigel got off his ass and finally booked me in a match. And he’s putting me against my friend, Brody. Boy, that Geigel sure is a dumb shit... At the 15 minute mark, Brody is busted open by a seated punch flurry, as the match has mostly been even between the two. Hansen then takes the wildman and heaves him over the top ropes to the floor below. Brody regains the lead, but he misses a clothesline on Hansen and nails the ref. Brody turns around at the fallen ref and doesn’t see Hansen grabbing for his cowbell. He turns around in time to take it right in the face! Ouch! Brody slowly stands up as Hansen bounces off the ropes and nails him again! Hansen picks him and sets him up for a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster... but Brody breaks loose and floors the Texan with a clothesline. He bounces off the ropes and nails Hansen with a Running Knee Drop! He covers Hansen, but the ref is slowly waking up... he finally goes for the pin count. 1.. 2.. 3! Stan Hansen on Bruiser Brody: Brody’s one tough son-of-a-***** and one of the only guys I’ll ever lose to without regret. Of course, most bookers have enough common sense to put as together.

[Rick Arnold]

Week 3, Day 1: It’s that time of the week again, spending the first three days in this godforsaken land known as ‘New England’. Vince informs me that he’s putting me in a feud with Ivan Putski to see how things work out. I told him putting me in the ring with ‘Putzski’ was about the equivalent of beating on a retard. But, he didn’t see it my way, and I find myself teaming with Jesse Ventura against Putski and Tito Santana. Why do I get the feeling that this is because I’ve been avoiding Pat... Ventura fizzles after a few minutes against Putski, but the tag is made and a pissed-off (as if there’s any other way) Stan Hansen enters. He simply mauls the supposed Polish Powerhouse, and takes him to the outside. Putski tries to escape and tag out, but Hansen grabs him by the neck and tosses him back out over the top ropes. Putski finally makes a tag to Tito and he runs into a wall as Hansen starts working him over. Hansen tags out to Ventura, who’s given another chance to show some work off. He manages to hold Tito over long enough, but ultimately tags in Hansen, who drives his elbow into Tito’s head, drawing blood. Tito gets irish whipped, but he collides with the ref and both go down. Tito stands up wearily, as the cowbell is tossed to Hansen and he drives it into Santana’s skull. The man is out! Hansen picks up Tito and drives the cowbell into his skull again, tossing it out of the ring. The ref is starting to stand as he sets Tito up for a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster... but he slips out! He stumbles across the ring and tags in Ivan Putski. Hansen nails Putski with a cross and tosses him over the top ropes... but wait a second. The referee is signaling for the match to stop... he’s disqualifying Stan Hansen for throwing Putski over the top ropes! Unbelievable! Week 3, Day 2: Vince told me that throwing him over the top rope, and that we’d be getting the main event on TNT tonight. Great... another match with The Putz. Maybe I’ll break his neck this time. In a mostly single-sided match, Putski amazes the fans when he kicks out of a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster. But a few cowbell shots and an unconscious referee later, and Hansen finishes off the match with another Slingshot Texas Brainbuster.

[Rick Arnold]

Week 3, Day 4: After another day off, I arrived down in Central States with word from Geigel that my last fight with Brody was so great that the fans want a rematch. We were both happy oblige to Geigel. In another great showing from the two, they brawl back and forth, trading blow after blow. A charging forearm leaves Brody reeling and bleeding, but it doesn’t slow him down. The ref is knocked out (a Hansen trademark apparently), as Brody goes to the ropes and is nailed with a running cowbell headshot! Hansen nails him with a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster, but with no referee, there’s no pincount! Brody floors him and goes for that Running Knee Drop again... but Hansen rolls out of the way! Hansen bounces Brody off the ropes and... THE HANSEN LARIAT! And Brody is down for the count! Hansen wins! It’s that time again! Weekly Cuts: BREAKING NEWS: The wrestling world is shocked to learn today that Vince McMahon and the WWF have signed Hulk Hogan to a written contract. He’s expected to debut in two weeks after finishing out his contracts with the AWA and New Japan. Ted Dibiase and Bob Orton Jr. have finished their obligations with their employers and are heading out to WWF HQ as we speak. And Barry Windham has packed his bags and left the Florida area. Other firings include Bruiser Brody from WWC, a surprising move due to Brody’s insanely popular matches with Abdullah and Carlos Colon. And main eventer and Canadian star, Dino Bravo, from Maple Leaf Wrestling. Week 3, Day 5: I arrived at the arena to find Giant Baba waiting. Turned out I was taking on the NWA Heavyweight champion, Harley Race, in a non-title match. Yep, that’s right, me and old Ironhead in a match. Another typical Hansen match, as him and Race trade off the advantage, but Race takes the lead first by slapping Hansen in the Main Event Sleeper. Hansen breaks loose, but he’s busted open with a leaping piledriver and a two count. A running loaded headbutt from Race puts Hansen down again... but still a two count. Race throws Hansen the ropes, as Hansen ducks a clothesline and rebounds with THE LARIAT. But alas, only a two count. Three Race Running Headbutts and three close calls, as Hansen is still in it. But Race slaps him in the Main Event sleeper and it’s all over at 39 minutes! Stan Hansen on Harley Race: I got alot of respect for Harley Race, but the man is a damn dirty cheater... only a cheater would come to the ring with a LOADED HEAD. Old Ironhead may have won that match, but only after he headbutted me for 20 minutes.

[Adam Ryland]

Pretty cool about the Hogan signing.

[Rick Arnold]

Yea, the way it goes almost any game is that Hulk Hogan, Ted Dibiase, Roddy Piper and/or Bob Orton Jr. will sign written contracts to them in the first week. And the other two usually jump ship the next week or the 3rd week. It's a nice bit of history that we've successfully been able to replicate. The same goes with the titles, as Harley Race and Nick Bockwinkel will hold on to their NWA and AWA titles forever, while Bob Backlund will usually drop it in the first month. So far, we've seen it dropped to Sgt. Slaughter, Superstar Billy Graham and on one occasion, a heel Andre. We've also been working hard to get our Tag champs to actually tag together. As the WWF likes to stick Afa and Sika in either Multi-Tags or in a Main Event. The same goes with Georgia, who likes to work the Road Warriors seperately. But D Boon's has made great progress on it, and I believe he's created a great set of moves, which includes a large section of 'Fan Interaction'.

[Rick Arnold]

Although one thing we've both noticed is that whenever Orton Jr. jumps ship, he always finishes out his 2 weeks with Mid-Atlantic, and during that time period, we've seen him being 'jobbed' out to The Mulkey Brothers. Not only does he have to spend two weeks fighting them, he also loses to them. The odd thing is that five minutes in the ring with a Mulkey will have him in Danger, so it seems sort of odd that they'd be able to hold a whole match with Orton, let alone getting a win. I do like that the Bookers are giving Orton the shaft, but we've been trying to figure out just how can this man lose to someone who's done before he's even getting warmed up.

[XellenceOfXecution]

This dynasty is great so far! It's really got me itching to get my hands on the mod and play my own heroes from yesteryear (when wrestling was good!). That thing with the Mulkeys and Orton is hilarious! Looking forward to "The Lariat's" first title win! I would also be curious as to what kind of match ratings you're getting! Keep up the good work and here's hoping your scenario is released soon!

[bigjabbadudley]

nice dynasty im really liking it so far, show you how realistic the game is though with the promotor making orton job

[D. Boons Ghost]

Yeah - the fact that Orton is almost forced to job out the remainder of his contract is pretty hip, imo. The bad thing about it is that jobbing is to the freaking Mulkeys. :) Mid-Atlantic is a talent rich territory, so Bob seems to get assigned a Midcard slot. I would think that if he were to job to people, it would be to Mark Youngblood or even Jimmy Valiant (horror of horrors); people more 'needing' of help. Still, it makes for a great story; Mulkeymania gets its start by running that dastardly Orton out of town. Ric Flair is eternally grateful. :) I bumped Orton up to Upper Midcard in Mid-Atlantic, as a pre-release tweak, so we'll see if that corrects the Mulkey's part to it. Maybe he'll start jobbing to Jay Youngblood - the ideal candidate for 'Person Least likely to Get a Push... unless teamed up with Steamboat'. Heh.

[Rick Arnold]

Week 3, Day 6: After that I handed in my ticket to Geigel and am heading out to Jim Crockett Jr. and Mid-Atlantic. Tonight I’d be fighting a stinkin’ pineapple farmer by the name of Ricky Steamboat in a 30 minute time limit match. Great, just enough time to break his neck! Hansen takes Steamboat to town, weakening him to Danger by the 10 minute mark. A flurry of grounded punches and painful moves to the back, Steamboat is in trouble it seems. But a blocked Slingshot Texas Brainbuster gives him some hope. He hits a schoolboy rollup for a 2 count, but Hansen is back on offense. He cracks a charging forearm across the head of Steamboat, and he busts him open! Hey, do I smell pineapple juice? Hansen whips him to the ropes and nearly decapitates him with The Lariat, but Steamboat barely kicks out! Hansen sends him into the ropes for ANOTHER Lariat, but Steamboat kicks out AGAIN! It takes a third Lariat to finally put The Dragon down for the 3-count at 24 minutes and the win. But wait, Hansen isn’t stopping as he keeps whipping Steamboat into the ropes for Lariat after Lariat! Ring officials finally get Hansen out of the ring as the medical staff has to cart Steamboat out on a stretcher, with a neck brace and all. I guess Hansen came through on his promise of breaking someone’s neck. Week 4, Day 1: Back to New England, as I get ready for my next WWF match, as tonight, it’d be me, Cowboy Bob Orton Jr. and that Samoan savage, Afa, vs. Ivan Putzski and his buddy, Jimmy Snuka. Meh, easy pickings for Stan Hansen. Most of the match consists of the two cowboys sending the savage after Putski and Snuka, letting him weaken the two down for a while. Afa finally tears into Snuka’s forehead with his teeth, as the blood starts flowing. When Snuka is finally weakened down, Hansen comes in and nails a Slingshot Texas Brainbuster for a 2 count. Snuka makes the tag to Putski, and Hansen sends Afa back at him. Putski busts Afa open with a charging forearm. Afa tags out to Orton Jr. who continues to pound on Putski. And Orton Jr. wows the crowd when he nails Putski with The Superplex for a pinfall and the win!