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I agree @christmas_ape that the right decision in terms of business/professionalism was running the show without the CEW recruit and taking the punishment for carelessly missing their unavailability. It was booker selfishness really to prioritise giving someone an in-ring write-off over the wider interests of the company and roster, and I got lucky that the game hasn't punished me more harshly for it. Part 44: Chaos Engine 2023 The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Crime Wave (D.O.A. and Switchblade) For the second month in a row, The Benchmark opened the show. For the second month in a row, they stole it. Sean Quartermainne tried to put over their debuting opponents’ history, including three fairly recent SHA Hardcore Tag Team title reigns, but The Comedian claimed the network wouldn’t tolerate such blasphemy to wrestling’s good name. Crime Wave showed they could hang with one of our top teams, though tiredness cost them in the end. D.O.A. was a second too late with his Superkick, connecting with the turnbuckle instead, and The Benchmark capitalised with the Double Down for the win. DIW Champion Rob Edwards was out next and ran down everybody he had beaten across eight successful title defences in 2023, saying the only thing left to decide was who he’d beat to celebrate the one-year anniversary of his title reign at War Machine. Kobra Khan answered the call but Edwards asked didn’t he beat him already. Kobra said yes, he’d actually lost his last two title shots, but you’d never guess who the last person to recover from consecutive unsuccessful challenges to win at the third attempt at War Machine was, with The Comedian helpfully pointing out he was talking about Edwards. And just as that person was granted another opportunity because of a lengthy winning record, Kobra too had gone unbeaten in singles action since his April defeat to Edwards. But, unlike Edwards, he was happy to earn his shot, so tonight he’d face whichever Ares Death Cult member The Human Weapon preferred to prove his worth. Saracens (Cueball and Tank) v The Wild Things (Con McReady and Seth Wish) This was an expected and accomplished victory for The Wild Things. The only surprise was that, whereas you’d assume the primary function of the match was to build up Wish, who the commentators emphasised was facing Milton Hittlespitz at War Machine, he tagged in Con McReady while in control to let him get the glory courtesy of an Iron Fist to Cueball. Sean Quartermainne came to the ring after the bell for his advertised interview with Wish. He started by asking what the deal was: was Wish acting under Ares Death Cult’s orders in taking Milton out? Wish said he was sick of hearing that. This had nothing to do with the Cult and everything to do with the fact that ever since he’d arrived in DIW, he’d had to listen to everyone telling him he was the new Milton. About a year ago, he decided he’d had enough. He didn’t want to be the new Milton, patronised by these fans, fighting hard but always ultimately ending up on his back, just like Milton had done every time they’d been face to face recently. Wish was showing the world that you could be smaller than the competition but still stand tall and, when he took Milton out next month, nobody would be calling him Crazy Blue II, as they’d know he’d already surpassed him. At this point, Milton made his entrance and clearly wanted a preview of War Machine, but Wish lurked behind Quartermainne, using the commentator as a shield while McReady stood guard with a cane, telling Crazy Blue to hold off until next month. Milton Hittlespitz v Carl Paris Like The Wild Things, Milton made sure that he was heading to War Machine on winning form. It was clear Wish had got in his head from the pause he took before landing his Flying Knee Drop, surveying the scene waiting for Wish or McReady to strike, but this time they stayed true to their word about waiting until next month, which enabled Crazy Blue to complete his victory. Death Ref had found the same cameraman as at Damage Control and directed him towards robust discussions between The Barracudas. Vaughan was lobbying Chopper Rourke to join him at ringside for his match against Dexter Mattell to send Raw Sex a message that nobody messes with The Barracudas, only for Chopper to tell him to take care of his own business. Vaughan v Dexter Mattell The five-time DIW Champion gave Mattell a hardcore initiation here, wearing him down with a chair, a pipe and, most crowd-pleasingly, a trash can. It was the weapon that Mattell introduced that turned the match though: a lengthy wire which he used to first trip the powerhouse, then tie him up, then whip him and then really cinch in his STF. Sensing Vaughan wasn’t going to submit, Mattell stopped Tatum calling the bell, instead releasing the hold and disrespectfully covering his lifeless body in an exaggerated, borderline X-rated way for a reluctant three count. Momoe Hamuera’s representative Markus Rush invited me out next to confirm our respective stipulations for a match at War Machine. I made it clear there was only one way I was entering the ring with the New Zealand rugby international again and that was with a guarantee that if Momoe lost, she was done with DIW. Rush said Momoe’s stipulation was simple. She didn’t want me to run off again, so this was going to be a cage match. Apparently I had no idea this was going to happen, my work as a booker not enlightening me to the decades of history dictating that whenever a heel ran away too much, they got locked in a cage, looking stunned and quickly retreating to try to figure out what the hell I was going to do. As I walked off, Rush called back to me that he forgot to tell me one other thing: Momoe was here tonight. Sure enough, I turned right back into her, being effortlessly hoisted up and dropped down on the ramp with a Sin Bin. Kobra Khan v Lloyd Banks There wasn’t much mystery over which Ares Death Cult member would face Kobra Khan as Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos had a title defence coming up. SQ pointed out that Banks took the Australian Title from Kobra 11 months ago, and now he had a chance to cost him a DIW Title shot too, while The Comedian highlighted that Banks was alone for a change with Death Ref checking in on me out the back after Hamuera’s attack. The boss won this debate with his announce partner as Kobra got his win back by wiping Banks out with his Ripcord Knee as he charged at him with barbed wire. He mimed wrapping a title around his waist while celebrating. As we waited for the main event entrances, Mr. Pink made a beeline for the ring. He told his former partner Wrecker that they were overdue a one-on-one match together to confirm which of them had won the Wrecking Crew break-up. The Australian Champion kept his reply short, simply stating that this was an opportunity he’d been waiting for. Tag Titles: Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c) Hughes and Shaw’s hopes of making it third time lucky against Ares Death Cult got off to a terrible start, with Cesar and Gyula taking turns to dominate the early minutes. Two Badass MFers fought their way back into it though and Hughes appeared to have it won for his team when he took Gyula down with a Fireman’s Carry Bulldog, only for Cesar to break up the fall at the final moment. Shaw tagged in and introduced one of the Tag Titles, but got struck with the Blood Sacrifice as he swung it. Hughes broke up a certain fall with a Fireman’s Carry Bulldog to Cesar on top of the covering Gyula. Gyula retaliated with a Choke Bomb on Hughes and picked up the title. Shaw ducked though and Gyula cracked Cesar in the head, before turning into a Spinning Brainbuster that gave Shaw the win and Two Badass MFers back their titles. As Two Badass MFers disappeared into the crowd to light up among their fans, Cesar and Gyula got into an uncharacteristic shoving match. Death Ref, Lloyd Banks and Rob Edwards raced into the ring to separate them and try to calm tensions, only for Edwards to suddenly drop Gyula. There was a split second of confusion before Cesar, Banks, Edwards and Shawn all started laying boots into the grounded Gyula. When he finally got to his feet, Cesar and Banks combined to hit Gyula with a Blood Sacrifice: his and Cesar’s own move. Death Ref finally ordered everyone to stop, raising Edwards, Banks and Cesar’s arms as the newly trimmed Cult showed its strength.

Agreed, I'm not too familiar with FCW yet outside of this dynasty, but I feel like it adds to the company's aura that it's simultaneously its own self-contained island but with alumni holding titles in three different countries.

Likewise, while it was a enjoyable show all round – the main event false finish being especially well written – I think the unexpected Dino's Caff cameo stole the show (well, the preshow).

Part 43: Chaos before Chaos Engine Someone was indeed getting chewed out the day of Chaos Engine but it wasn’t Shawn, it was me, and I didn’t really have a leg to stand on. I’d only realised on the afternoon of the show that the bloke leaving us for CEW (yes, you guessed it, now more than ever I’m really not ready to talk about it yet) wasn’t going to be available as he was appearing for them instead. I took the abrupt decision to call the show off a few hours before admission opened, followed by the even more reckless act of rescheduling it for the very next day. I knew we’d still get the fans as there was enough demand at Marv’s right now that even if a hundred or so of the people who planned to show on Friday couldn’t on Saturday, there would be others to take their place. Even the dialogue with WrestleWorld Australia wasn’t quite as uncomfortable as I’d initially expected. I think because our viewing figures had slightly exceeded their projections so far, they were more flexible than they might otherwise have been, and perhaps intrigued to see how our audience carried over to a Saturday night. But hastily arranging a video call with the roster to ask them to cancel any Saturday night plans they’d made, rescheduling their weekends around my incompetence and a colleague who no longer wished to work with them, that surely shattered whatever credibility I’d been building up. I could imagine Chopper Rourke and Vaughan laughing it up with Blitz Simpson after the call. The boss was furious and it was understandable. The only time he’d ever closed things down was when he lost all his champions and a few other big names within weeks of one another seven years ago. Even then he never cancelled a show on the day, so he found doing it for one bloke ridiculous. He asked me if I hadn’t listened to anything he said when Blitz left. We don’t sell the loss, we stick our middle fingers up and say we’re going to do even better without them. By moving a show for one bloke, we were selling bigger than Mayhem Mulhoney used to sell for his Running Powerslam. Was I imagining it or was I seeing a sensitive side to the boss, an admission that the defiance was a way of hiding his hurt? All I can say with certainty is there was no way I was brave enough to ask him that question at that moment. Instead, I applied what I’d learnt from him. He found defiance reassuring, so I was going to sound as defiant and confident as I could, whether I believed it or not. I said I knew things looked bad today, but the second we put on a great show tomorrow night, the whole rescheduling fiasco would quickly be forgotten about. And I wasn’t doing this because I thought that bloke was so important to us, I was doing it to make sure that traitor went out on his back and did right by the blokes committed enough to our cause to change their weekends for us. I don’t think it was enough to win me forgiveness, but it bought me some time at least.

Ah, agreed, that sounds even better. Thanks for the reply.

Haha, as frustrating as the colour commentary catastrophe sandbagging the show rating must have been, it makes for a fun extra challenge to try to write a way back into the booth for Garcia that doesn't diminish Atherton's wish. Or perhaps you go the other way and make Atherton wasting his wish when he could be champion by now part of the story. However you play it, it's going to be an enjoyable additional dynamic.

I wondered if more jeopardy could be injected into Groundswell Of Support situations, similar to how bookers can be pressured into changing course in real life to avoid a backlash. If someone gets a Groundswell Of Support and you don't react decisively enough – they're not playing a major role in one of your three hottest storylines, beating recognisable opponents, closing shows or winning titles – you get punished. Perhaps less popular babyfaces winning popular storylines/main eventing/holding titles ahead of the fans' pick would have their momentum drained over that period to simulate the fans rejecting their pushes, forcing you to strategise a way to keep the person you want to push hot while elevating the fan favourite. I suspect it might be difficult to implement but could make for a fun challenge, writing as someone who tends to stick to a long-term plan rather than react quickly to changing circumstances.

Congratulations on another entertaining show, whatever the ungrateful fans think. I didn't see the Whippy win coming, but am delighted about that. I think he's the perfect fit for the chaos of the division (assuming the gimmick outlives Skip's reign). Dubois winning felt like the right outcome, especially beating DeColt on the way to set up a title match, though I wasn't expecting it on TV. I'm intrigued to see just how big you go with it: if it's mainly used to pop a rating, build momentum and set up something for the next big show, or if there's a decisive outcome. And what an achievement for the tag teams to deliver match of the night on such a star-studded card. I know some of that was other matches being penalised, but I think it also speaks to the role the current title reign has played in elevating the division.

Part 42: Four out, four in If you were keeping count (and even I was finding it tough), we suddenly found ourselves four men down. Blitz Simpson had gone to CEW, Mr. Orange had decided to leave, I’d decided Mr. Green wasn’t worth keeping without him, and another main eventer had told me he was joining CEW (sorry, I’m still not ready to get into it yet). I wasn’t going to bring someone on Blitz’s level in straight away: even with our secret millions, I didn’t want to rush into big-money signings, preferring to plan things out to get the right bloke and put him in the right angle. I thought we had enough star power in the locker room already to see us through the final two shows of the year at the very least. I had identified a veteran tag team to replace The Warriors. I didn’t see them getting to the top of the card – though The Benchmark had far exceeded my expectations so it couldn’t be ruled out – but I was confident they were an upgrade on The Warriors both in terms of ability and stamina, so they’d hopefully be able to hang with our younger duos. There was a singles wrestler I wasn’t quite as confident about who I planned to bring in for a trial at War Machine and judge from the crowd reaction if he was worth keeping around. Someone on my shortlist who we weren’t likely to be hiring any time soon was Billy Kennedy. Our new colour commentator Sean Quartermainne told me that his protégé Debonair David Peterson, who was booking APW, was finding him a nightmare to deal with, even supposedly being sent threatening messages. I never knew how easy I had it dealing with The Barracudas. Anyway, the fourth signing. We didn’t desperately need a full-time replacement for Lou Brookmyre as road agent with The Comedian and Rusty Mills sharing the workload, but when an ideal candidate for the role emerged, I couldn’t resist. Shawn told me that Classy Paul Massey was leaving ZEN after 15-and-a-half years and how highly regarded he was in New Zealand. And if there’s one thing I’m a sucker for, it’s older bald men from New Zealand. If everything worked out, it would mean a reduced workload for the boss and Mills to give them more time to dedicate to their respective announcing and in-ring responsibilities. If it didn’t, well, we knew we had enough already in our locker room to get by, I’d just have to remember not to chew Shawn out for giving me a bad recommendation this time.

You guessed correctly @AboardTheArk. Benchmark-Death Cult was a 64, way above any other non-Edwards match I've ever booked (and indeed 5 better than Edwards' own Damage Control match against Chopper). Part 41: An unhappy birthday It happened again. The same raiding company. The same needlessly restrictive spending caps from the boss. And the same outcome: a main-event talent leaving us for CEW. I’m not ready to write about this one yet. It still doesn’t feel real. So I’ll wait until after Chaos Engine to go into it. I tried not to let it sour my 33rd birthday meal with Shawn, Tatum and Dexter Mattell and a few other friends. That was the hard part about now being in a leadership role and socialising with colleagues: I couldn’t engage in workplace gossip as eagerly as I once did, and didn’t want my concern creeping into the locker room. So instead I kept the DIW chat to the fact our second WrestleWorld broadcast had outperformed the first, with the financial results a little better too. We’d announced four things in advance of Chaos Engine, our penultimate show of the year: Vaughan taking on Dexter Mattell, Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos granting Two Badass MFers a title shot out of fury at last month’s attack, my response to Momoe Hamuera’s challenge and Seth Wish being interviewed by Sean Quartermainne about his issues with Milton Hittlespitz. I was really pleased by how our final two shows of 2022 brought all our main stories to a head. The disruption of the CEW talent raids made me less confident of delivering such an impactful sign-off that tied multiple story threads together this year, but hopefully we still had enough built up to close the year with two enjoyable shows at least.

Wow, you nailed that hot main event followed by an even hotter post-match segment combo again, and this time with an even higher rated match and promo earlier in the show to back it up. I enjoyed the Dubois-McFly dynamic, and how smoothly the earlier interview fed the main event. Ian DeColt running everyone down, co-opting the classic catchphrases and obnoxiously vowing to keep it in the family felt like the perfect Apocalypse go-home segment. Elsewhere, you got Golden Elite's heat back quickly like you hinted you would last week, and Hugh Ancrie's too, but I think the Whippy segment was my favourite. I love this meta dynamic of the chaos gimmick becoming somewhat of an afterthought, even to Skip himself this time, as it adds to the chaos of it all. I'm looking forward to the show, which may go live on a WWE PLE day again. Despite calling the Rumble wrong, I'll double down on Dubois. Or is the reason it's being posted sooner than usual because Skip-Whippy opened, the oil got out of control, the venue was evacuated and the rest of the show was cancelled?

Part 40: Damage Control 2023 Tag Titles: The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c) Again, I adopted the approach of opening the show with a major attraction to try to hook first-time DIW viewers on WrestleWorld Australia in. The Benchmark have been an instant hit for us – only Rob Edwards is more popular at the moment – but their first title challenge brought about their first defeat. I’d cost my blokes the six-person against the same opponents last month by running from Momoe Hamuera, so it was time to make it up to them. I jumped on the apron as The Benchmark set Cesar up for a Double Down, jumping back down before Boon could get to me. He turned into Cesar’s Running Knee Side-Swipe and Mills was Choke Bomb-ed by Gyula before he could break up the fall. Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw greeted us on the ramp, cigarettes in hand, saying that they were over us trying to look past them, so now they weren’t going to let us pass. Cesar and Gyula were happy to throw fists, but Hughes escalated things by stubbing his ciggie in Cesar’s eye. They then catapulted Gyula into the unsighted Cesar, Shaw still holding his ciggie, before Hughes shoved the titles into my arms and told me to enjoy them while I still could. Australian Title: Wrecker (c) v Lloyd Banks I let Shawn take care of Gyula so I accompanied Banks instead as he attempted to reclaim the Australian Title. This was a hardcore brawl hindered by the fact we couldn’t really top a Mighty Bulldog onto a barbed wire board as a finish. So instead we went for a finisher switcheroo: Banks tried to Bulldog Wrecker onto a chair, but the champion reversed into a Back Drop at the last moment, then used his opponent’s Piledriver against him, landing it on the chair. As if I didn’t have enough to deal with, Markus Rush arrived. He said I could only run from Momoe Hamuera for so long. She wanted a one-on-one match with me at War Machine. He knew I was too much of a coward to accept that straight up, so to sweeten the deal he proposed that we both add a stipulation each, and advised me to go away and think about what it would take to find some courage. Milton Hittlespitz v Con McReady Milton finally got one over on The Wild Things here after being cheated out of the DIW Title by Seth Wish at Hardcore Hallelujah and pinned by him in the handicap match at Extreme Life. After getting caned when lining up a Flying Knee Drop at both shows, Crazy Blue finally struck first, surprising Wish at ringside with a Flying Dropkick before he could ambush him, and then returning to the turnbuckle to finish McReady in the ring with his signature move. Milton successfully thwarted the first ambush, but wasn’t prepared for the second as Wish got to work on him with his cane after the bell, propping him up for McReady to get some retribution for his defeat with an Iron Fist. Carl Paris v Mr. Pink Mr. Pink’s decision to abandon Wrecker in a show of solidarity with Ares Death Cult had worked out better for his former partner than himself so far. His fortunes seemed to be improving a little though as his Pink Thunder Bomb achieved a confident victory over his teenaged opponent Paris. Sean Quartermainne on commentary informed us that this was the first time all year he’d won consecutive matches. SQ walked to the ring next, explaining that he was conducting a pre-match interview with Kobra Khan. In an unsubtle attempt to stir up trouble, he asked where Kobra was when Milton was getting attacked by The Wild Things earlier. The masked man calmly answered that he was probably in the same place Milton was in when they were attacking him at Hardcore Hallelujah. He said he had no issues with Crazy Blue – they’d always gotten on – but right now it was time to focus on himself, and specifically getting some gold back around his scales. Kobra Khan v Mr. Green I’d booked him fairly strongly most of the time, but I found myself wondering after the previous segment if I’d ever really given Kobra Khan material or storylines that brought the best out of his character. Thankfully, we were a bit more skilled at spotlighting what he had to offer in the ring, and a Small Package Driver earned him another win here. Mr. Orange’s recent departure was half-referenced on-screen, with SQ noting we hadn’t seen him for a while and asking if he’d finally joined the circus, with The Comedian deadpanning “or another Aussie wrestling company, same thing really”. After that match, we saw a cackling Death Ref grab a cameraman working near the entranceway and demand that he followed him. He led the cameraman quietly to the corner of a corridor, from where Chopper Rourke and Vaughan could be seen in a heated conversation. The gist appeared to be that Chopper wouldn’t let Vaughan pull the same crap on him that he did to Blitz Simpson at Massacre, warning him not to go anywhere near the ring tonight. Though they combined to banish Blitz last month, the remaining Barracudas clearly weren’t over their issues. The focus shifted back to ringside and Dexter Mattell, who laughed at what we’d all just seen. He said that since joining DIW, he was enjoying destroying everything DIW fans seemed to love but to him were every bit as cheap and tasteless as the people cheering them. First, he helped end Milton’s love affair with the DIW Title, arguing he’d never been the same since. Next, he set his sights on finishing The Barracudas, but he claimed they were ruining his fun by doing his job for him. So while there was still something left of them, he wanted Vaughan in the ring next month. DIW Title: Chopper Rourke v Rob Edwards (c) Chopper made the traditional Barracuda entrance through the crowd. SQ pondered whether it had any significance, to which The Comedian weighed in “who gives a crap?”. Chopper used his power advantage well in the opening two minutes, taking Edwards off his feet with two slams and then out of the ring with a third. However, once The Human Weapon grounded Chopper for the first time, the match became surprisingly one-sided, and the champion connected with the decisive Roundhouse Kick after just six minutes. SQ mused that while The Barracudas were self-destructing, Edwards and Ares Death Cult had never looked stronger, speculating that the rest of the locker room must be terrified.

Thanks @christmas_ape, that's another great point. We only had 300 fans at our earlier shows watching Blitz Simpson outwork everyone except Rob Edwards, whereas over 11,000 mostly new viewers have seen him look like a loser and then leave, so that's now the dominant perception. Part 39: Loss The numbers were in and they didn’t make for great reading. The increased production costs required to get on WrestleWorld Australia had resulted in a $7,323 loss in September. Our wider financial position meant we could afford to take that monthly hit for 22 straight years and stay in business, so it was fair to say it wasn’t an immediate concern but, having taken pride in our profitability until this point, I still felt uneasy about it. Knowing 11,696 had seen my latest show as booker, compared to 261 my first last January, was pretty cool though. Blitz Simpson wasn’t the only wrestler who wouldn’t be with the company by the time Damage Control came around. Mr. Orange had decided to walk, which was understandable given how much of an afterthought The Warriors had become to me since separating from Mr. Pink. There was a fair chance I’d ask Mr. Green to follow shortly. A 38-year-old heavy smoker and drinker with no stamina didn’t stand much chance of making a singles breakthrough. So there was an opening for an experienced lower-card tag team to make our stars look good and I had a good idea who could fill it. The only problem was that they were yet more APW alumni, albeit from a long, long time ago, and I didn’t know if the boss would stomach eight straight recruits with history there. However, that was a problem for another day as the card for our second WrestleWorld broadcast, Damage Control 2023, was set. Every title would be defended as Lloyd Banks tried to regain the Australian Title from Wrecker, The Benchmark went after Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos’ Tag Titles and Chopper Rourke challenged DIW Champion Rob Edwards, while we were also promoting Milton Hittlespitz v Con McReady.

Really thought-provoking comments, thanks a lot. @John Lions I like the idea it could be a blessing in disguise: with Edwards and Blitz performing at such a high level, it was tempting to lean on them, so this was a good reminder of the need to build others up rather than depend on one or two wrestlers who could leave at any time. @AboardTheArk Likewise, I like your logic that the Barracudas conflict inadvertentlly helped prepare our fans for what's happened. Thanks for the kind words but I think it's Edwards working the miracles rather than anything I'm doing: the two 69s were outliers. Everything else has been 65 or under and no match without him has scored more than 60, so my limitations will be even more exposed when it's his turn to go. Part 38: What could’ve been So that was that. After 13-and-a-half years, five Tag Title reigns and one very short run as DIW Champion in 2020, Blitz Simpson had left for CEW, where he’d reportedly earn over three times what we were paying him. Despite their long and strong working relationship, The Comedian refused to let me rival CEW's offer. Alongside Rob Edwards, he was our most popular and impressive fighter, and had been a significant part of our plans for the final third of the year and beyond. The original idea for Extreme Life had been for him to again try to tempt Vaughan into a match, this time getting him to accept with the stipulation that the winner would get the next DIW Title shot and the loser would never be able to challenge again. He was then going to beat the five-time champion at Damage Control, before dethroning Edwards at War Machine in December with Vaughan falling in line behind him as new Barracudas figurehead to help him triumph. Blitz had only ever been DIW Champion for a month and never successfully defended the title, so the plan was to finally and firmly establish him in the role. Instead, we needed to identify someone different to conquer Edwards and take The Barracudas’ implosion angle in a different direction. I thought we’d done a reasonable job of correcting course at Extreme Life. Yes, it was pretty absurd to have a second Barracudas triple threat as an unannounced show opener – don’t ask who gave Vaughan the authority to create a contender-or-fired stipulation on the spot either – though if you’re going to hotshot like that, the opening minutes of your first WrestleWorld show is probably the best place for that. But we’d at least succeeded in sending Blitz out on his back, hopefully creating intrigue over the future direction of The Barracudas by having Vaughan cede some control to Chopper Rourke having previously been reluctant to do the same for Blitz, and continuing what we’d started the month before with Dexter Mattell involving himself in Barracuda business, with Vaughan and Chopper’s unwillingness to support Blitz confirming his banishment. I did wonder if the Mattell run-in was a bit too much: Blitz was willing to leave looking up at the lights, so was it excessive to have him beaten down on top of that, but he didn’t grumble. I didn’t view him as someone we could go out and hire a direct replacement for, though the one potential positive I did see to the situation was it strengthening my position in the locker room. The Barracudas were my most vocal critics and, with Chopper and Vaughan past their prime, Blitz was fuelling their power. I’d continue to find them intimidating, but it was no longer essential to keep them sweet, and The Comedian’s bias towards them might also diminish now he knew that he couldn’t guarantee they were DIW lifers. The boss made a pretty stiff remark after the show, saying that by dividing them in the ring, I’d shown them and our competitors they could be split up outside of it as well. Despite that, he was still calmer about it all than me. He’d seen loads of top blokes walk, whereas this was my first as booker, and he told me matter-of-factly that this is what happens: we make someone, they bugger off and we get stronger. Besides, I couldn’t grumble as even the biggest companies were catching bad breaks, with Aussie wrestling’s top draw Swoop Dogg tearing his Achilles and due to miss a year for RAW and CEW’s Heath Murdock tragically dying in a road accident aged 34.

Part 37: Extreme Life 2023 We were squeezing as much space as possible out of Marv’s by now, setting up a table at the side of the entranceway for The Comedian and Sean Quartermainne to commentate from, with me positioned a few metres behind it with a cheap monitor to see what was going out to WrestleWorld and an earpiece to hear the accompanying commentary. The new voices of DIW welcomed what transpired to be 11,396 viewers to the show from a sold out Marv’s. SQ explained that his presence was at WrestleWorld’s request as they wanted someone to show The Comedian how its done and inject a little professionalism into the company. Both men expressed surprise at seeing Vaughan speed past them with no music. He said he’d had a change of heart. If Blitz Simpson wanted a match, he can have it but on his terms, terms he was fairly sure Ares Death Cult would approve of: another Barracudas triple threat, with the winner of the fall getting a DIW Title shot and the loser leaving the company immediately. Blitz and Chopper Rourke entered together from the crowd and, with Blitz immediately taking Vaughan down, SQ screamed that it looked like we were on. Holy hotshot. Blitz Simpson v Chopper Rourke v Vaughan Blitz and Vaughan were constantly going for each other from the start, with Chopper continually trying and failing to calm things down, but it was the initial peacemaker who escalated things. With Blitz about to drop him with the Lifting DDT, Chopper pulled out a pipe from under his top and went low with it, following up with a shot to the stomach as Blitz stared at him in disbelief. Vaughan lifted Blitz up and locked him in the Choke Sleeper. With Blitz starting to fade, Vaughan pushed away referee Tatum when she went to count him out. Instead, he handed the lifeless body over to Chopper to send crashing to the mat with a Spinebuster. Vaughan left the ring as Chopper went for the pinfall to earn a title shot and seal Blitz’s fate. As Blitz finally got to his feet for what I’d estimate was a 60-40 crowd reaction – the majority applauding his outstanding contribution to DIW, but others jeering upon realising that he was “selling out” – he was jumped by Dexter Mattell. As Raw Sex positioned him for the STF, Chopper and Vaughan reappeared on stage, but Chopper whispered something in Vaughan’s ear and they both turned their back and left, signalling their desertion of Blitz even at the expense of paying back the man who jumped Chopper last month. Mattell locked in the STF and laughed. Donovan Boon, Rusty Mills and Momoe Hamuera v Cesar Sionis, Gyula Lakatos and Lori I had frontloaded the card to try to attract and retain as many WrestleWorld subscribers experiencing DIW for the first time as possible, and I estimated that Boon and Mills (six-time APW tag champs) and Hamuera (international rugby star) were likely to have an audience beyond our usual fanbase to draw in. Whereas I had earned so many victories for Cesar and Gyula in the past, I cost them here, wriggling out when Momoe tried to set me up for the Sin Bin and running. With Gyula looking to assist me, Cesar was exposed and put out for the count by The Benchmark’s Double Down. It was clear that Death Ref was distracted as he entered with Lloyd Banks – and if it wasn’t, we had commentators now who could highlight that to fans – preoccupied by my safety after fleeing Momoe. With that in mind, he kept his promo short, noting that if Wrecker could recover in time from the beating Rob Edwards was going to give him tonight, Banks would be taking his title back at Damage Control. Pat Rigsby v Lloyd Banks This was a story as old as time: man trolls other man over his Australian Title defeat, other man retaliates by Piledriving man one onto a board wrapped in barbed wire and pinning him. Seth Wish said that he knew Milton Hittlespitz wanted a shot at him, and the feeling was mutual, but Con McReady and Mr. Pink wanted their piece of Crazy Blue too, so he’d have to share his time among all of them. Milton seemed unbothered as he made his way to the ring, though Kobra Khan followed him out to make the teams a tiny bit more even. Milton Hittlespitz and Kobra Khan v Seth Wish, Con McReady and Mr. Pink SQ pointed out that Milton and Kobra main evented this show last year in DIW’s first ever champion v champion match, which pleased me as I’d asked him to get that point across in our pre-show meeting. He added his own flair to it, saying it proved how far they’d fallen that they were now taking a kicking in a handicap match, which I was less keen on, but heels are gonna heel. Kobra got some shine, including a beautiful Crossbody onto Mr. Pink outside, yet Milton found himself overwhelmed inside. In a nod to last month’s main event finish, as Crazy Blue lined up a Flying Knee Drop on Wish, McReady blasted him with a cane. Wish followed up with Dust In The Wind for arguably the biggest win of his six-and-a-half-year DIW career. Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) v Saracens (Cueball and Tank) I called an audible here that left me feeling smug, moving the promo I initially scheduled before the match to after it. Even at only five minutes, this bout was five minutes too long, mercifully ended when Hendrix Hughes hit his Fireman’s Carry Bulldog on Tank. Hughes and Shaw reenergised the crowd before our main event by saying that while they stood by their word that The Benchmark could have the next shot at Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos, they’d be waiting for the winners and next time there was no way they were leaving without their titles. Anyone who agreed was invited to put their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW, and many obliged. DIW Title Ladder Match: Wrecker v Rob Edwards (c) This was a reprisal of my most sophisticated booking idea: we’ve got a ladder on the poster so let’s shoehorn one into the main event. I even replicated the formula of having our two singles champions contest it. I actually liked that part, as it gave a main event spotlight to someone who didn’t ordinarily get it, and created what I believed was a first time match on this occasion too. The only drawback was that Wrecker and Edwards weren’t the most natural pairing for a ladder match, but that wasn’t a problem: we just encouraged them to have a brawl and save the ladder for climbing. Well, almost. Wrecker introduced a second one to crack on Edwards’ back as he made his ascent. The Human Weapon, who typically shunned non-human weapons, found himself in a bit of a grey area when he followed a Roundhouse Kick by propping a ladder by the turnbuckle, sandwiching Wrecker in the middle of it and launching another Roundhouse Kick into the ladder before climbing to retrieve his title. SQ remarked that he couldn’t see anyone dethroning Edwards in this form, with The Comedian warning him not to discount Chopper.

There's so much going on in every show. The first to 10 angle is fun and it's great that you've got both short-term (Mutant) and long-term contenders (Marco and now maybe Kip and Brody) lined up. The Xavi Ferrera stuff was expertly executed, giving him a big babyface moment even in defeat, and there are interesting stories all through the card like the Joffy/Davis feud that heated up fast.

Agreed @JoshGallie, this is how I choose to interpret it: that they waited until we were ready to make our big streaming debut to try to sabotage us. Part 36: Pushing on The hasty rewrite of my end-of-2023 plans had me questioning whether we should hold off starting our WrestleWorld Australia streaming deal until we were in a stronger position. Two things persuaded me to push on. The first was the thought that if we didn’t close the deal before news of our star departure went public, WrestleWorld might take the offer off the table, arguing that we were longer as attractive a prospect as they first thought. The other was that recent developments didn’t significantly alter my plans for Extreme Life, whereas the next few shows required more extensive rethinking, so it represented as strong a starting point as any. We’d already announced a six-person match pitting The Benchmark and Momoe Hamuera against Cesar Sionis, Gyula Lakatos and me in my long-awaited (by me at least) DIW in-ring debut. I also planned to repeat last September’s main event formula by giving new Australian Champion Wrecker a shot at the DIW Champion Rob Edwards in a ladder match. Throw in more Barracudas infighting and Milton Hittlespitz’s response to Seth Wish screwing him out of the DIW Title and I hoped there was plenty for new and returning DIW fans to sink their teeth into. Starting streaming in September meant finalising an announce team. The Comedian was good for one spot, so I just needed to find him a partner, and the bloke I settled on was Sean Quartermainne. Admittedly, this continued a regrettable trend that every single signing I’d made in 2023 had an APW history, with Dexter Mattell, Con McReady, Donovan Boon, Rusty Mills and Markus Rush being the others. But he stood out as the best option in terms of experience, personality and cost. I also wondered if he might be able to fill the space left by Lou Brookmyre as a veteran sounding board who was less stubborn than the boss but more battle-hardened than myself. He’d worked with The Comedian before, so hopefully they’d have chemistry on and off screen, and he’d operated as a booker and manager as well as a colour commentator, so had plenty of experience to share.

Thanks @AboardTheArk. Yes, Milton-Edwards scored 69, tying Blitz-Edwards as our top-rated match so far. People interfering to cost Milton the DIW Title is definitely our most overplayed trope but, as you say, at least it set up some fresh feuds. Part 35: From a huge high to a painful goodbye When The Comedian told me the good news a few days after Hardcore Hallelujah, I was surprisingly unsurprised. Someone from the WrestleWorld Australia streaming platform had been at the show and had been impressed enough with what they’d seen that they were happy to add our events to their platform. I was always confident of Hardcore Hallelujah being a hit, and all three title matches had delivered, with Milton Hittlespitz and Rob Edwards proving in the main event that they were still as strong a combination as ever. I had actually hoped we’d get a streaming deal in place in time to make that our first show on it, but our slight stagnation between May and July appeared to have slowed things down. The terms WrestleWorld Australia were proposing seemed reasonable enough: a nine-month initial arrangement with us taking 55% of any revenue generated. We’d just have to recruit a commentary team, move music production in-house and tell them when we wanted to start. This should have been time to celebrate: after 20 months with the book, I’d taken DIW somewhere it had never been before, and we’d done it without huge investment or roster turnover while making a profit. Instead, it was at this time that the talent grab I’d been fearing for a few months took place. Only it wasn’t RAW or AE who came calling, like the Aussie Wrestling bloggers had predicted, it was CEW. They’d taken Pinn Enterprises in 2017, they’d tried to snatch me twice and now they were grabbing someone who wasn’t just one of our top performers, but essential to my plans for the four months ahead that were going to make or break our streaming deal. The most painful part of this bruising experience was that, whereas the boss was such a heroic figure when it was time for me to pick between DIW and CEW, he was an absolute nightmare here. We had the funds to match or better Gerard Knights’ offer, and it would have been an excellent investment, but he was at his stubborn worst, capping what he’d let me offer. I explored every option in search of a solution, only for the boss to close them down one after another. I was even willing to humble myself to Knights so soon after turning him down to try to talk him out of a deal or at worst agree to share him, yet The Comedian wouldn’t compromise. His attitude was that so many people had walked out on us in the past and we’d continued to thrive, so screw anyone that even considered working somewhere else. However, to me, this was different. For one thing, the timing: right before we were due to start a streaming deal with this bloke as one of our centrepieces. But also I sensed he’d have been happy to stay if we made him feel wanted and – as I can’t emphasise strongly enough – the deal it would’ve taken to do this was a bargain compared to signing someone of his quality from the outside. Instead, the boss turned an easy deal into an impossible deal, we were losing a key player at the worst possible moment and, for the first time, I found myself second-guessing my decision to turn down CEW eight months earlier.

It looks like you had a hard time with bad chemistry and commentary but picked the right main event and closing segment to minimise the damage. I'm excited to see Whippy in another interesting angle. It feels like smart booking too as he's a perfect character to reintroduce the chaos to Skip's reign. Good segments all round with the fun DuBois-Playmate dynamic and The Golden Elite's character and feud-building exploits.

Part 34: Hardcore Hallelujah 2023 Australian Title: Wrecker v Lloyd Banks (c) Some of my detractors believed that my DIW wasn’t hardcore enough, but these blokes provided a very compelling counterargument. Banks had made a point of relying on barbed wire less recently, yet the champion sensed after a few close calls that he wouldn’t keep hold of his title without it. He smashed a barbed wire board over Wrecker’s head, only for the challenger to force his shoulder up on two. The Barbed Wire Messiah went to what had worked for him many times before, the Piledriver, but Wrecker resisted, connected with his Mighty Bulldog to send the champ face-first into the board, leaving his face a bloody mess and taking his title as an extra insult. Ares Death Cult’s night of title defences had got off to the worst possible start. Death Ref, who was banned from ringside for tonight’s matches, stormed out after the bell and screamed that this was all Mr. Pink, Seth Wish and Con McReady’s fault for their six-man defeat to Wrecker and Two Badass MFers last month which put Ares Death Cult in this position. Blitz Simpson v Carl Paris Coincidence or bad booking, you decide. The only previous time Blitz and Paris had met, Paris wound up breaking Blitz’s nose and, wouldn’t you know it, this time he gave him a fractured cheek bone. Blitz was pretty forgiving last year, but this time I could tell he was angry, laying in a few stiff shots. It fed the intended finish nicely though, which saw Blitz refuse to go for the cover after his Lifting DDT, instead lifting his beaten opponent back up for a Nasty Neckbreaker. It wasn’t just Paris that Blitz had a clear message for, picking up a microphone after the match and telling Vaughan he wanted a match. Vaughan appeared at the entranceway and said he wasn’t looking to fight his Barracuda brother, merely to teach him, and told Blitz that his focus should be on figuring out a new path to the DIW Title. The advice wasn’t well received and he instead opted to make a beeline for Vaughan, who decided against waiting around. Tag Titles: Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c) The Benchmark arrived at ringside before the start to unsubtly remind both teams of their intention to challenge the winners. Hughes and Shaw were all business: no pre-match smack talk or crowd interaction, complete focus on getting their titles back. It looked like it was going to happen too with Hughes measuring Gyula for his Fireman’s Carry Bulldog when Cesar pulled Shaw off the apron and hit him with the Running Knee Side-Swipe. Hughes wanted Cesar in the ring, but a recovered Gyula charged him into the turnbuckle from behind and followed up with a Choke Bomb for the win. While I wasn’t allowed at ringside during the match, I entered smugly afterwards to applaud my team. Markus Rush showed up, reminding me that I’d been ducking his challenge of a six-person match between Cesar, Gyula and I and Momoe Hamuera and The Benchmark. I assured him there was no ducking, we just had more urgent business than lending our credibility to some rugby wannabe, gesturing at the titles. But I said we’d be happy to put her out of her misery next month at Extreme Life, and asked him to take back a message for her, which inevitably was a slap in the face. The Benchmark threatened to intervene at this point, but we were out of there. Chopper Rourke v Pat Rigsby Perhaps the formula was too lazy for our fans to enjoy as much as me, but I loved the simplicity of booking Rigsby: he was a troll, so it always but made sense to put him against someone who’d suffered a setback and needed a momentum boost, and he was always able to provide them with it, before getting his heat back the next time he was in the ring with more taunting tactics. This time Chopper was his target, with him mimicking being hugged and then hit with a chair to mock Chopper taking the hit for Blitz and Vaughan’s recent hostility. The Barracuda didn’t sell it, and gave Rigsby plenty to sell instead, including a devastating Spinebuster. Dexter Mattell jumped Chopper as Tatum was raising his arm, locking him in the STF. Vaughan emerged to run Raw Sex off. Chopper’s reaction as Vaughan helped him to his feet was hard to read, either because he wasn’t the best actor, or he was conflicted about how to feel about his stablemate. I’ll let you decide. Kobra Khan v Mr. Pink Apparently this was Mr. Pink’s chance to regain the respect of Ares Death Cult after his contribution to the situation they found themselves in tonight: defending all their titles without being allowed at ringside (which had already cost Banks the Australian Title). It didn’t go to plan though, and Kobra Khan kept his winning streak going with a Small Package Driver. Seth Wish and Con McReady jumped Kobra Khan as he was walking up the ramp, taking him out with a dual cane shot and continuing to strike him on the floor. Not wanting to miss a chance to let out his frustration, Mr. Pink joined in with a cheap Pink Thunder Bomb onto the hard floor. DIW Title: Milton Hittlespitz v Rob Edwards (c) This was the fourth chapter of arguably the defining rivalry of my time as booker. Milton had dethroned Edwards a month before I’d taken over, retained against him last October after Edwards had allowed The Barracudas and Ares Death Cult’s ringside brawling to distract him, then finally beaten Crazy Blue at the third attempt last December after aligning with the Cult. Edwards and Blitz Simpson had set an even higher standard two months ago, so the only question was whether Milton could rise to that challenge, and the answer was an emphatic yes. It should have been his night too, as he shaded a closely fought fight with Ares Death Cult barred from ringside but, as he ascended the turnbuckle for a potentially decisive Flying Knee Drop, he was smashed in the back by a cane. It was Seth Wish, and it was a pivotal intervention as The Human Weapon followed up with twin Roundhouse Kicks, each cheered on by Wish at ringside, to level the head-to-head score at 2-2 and keep his DIW Title.

Part 33: Another Crazy Blue winter? I felt underwhelmed about our previous three shows. I thought Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell underdelivered at Devil May Care and Carnage In Canberra, and Massacre in between was a weak card salvaged by an extraordinary Blitz Simpson v Rob Edwards main event. I was much more optimistic about Hardcore Hallelujah. I viewed it as one of our headline shows and this year we had all three titles on the line in matches that had plenty of build-up. Wrecker was challenging Lloyd Banks for the Australian Title, Two Badass MFers finally had their Tag Title rematch and Milton got his equally long-awaited DIW Title rematch against Edwards. And The Comedian’s special stipulation across those matches was that if any Ares Death Cult member interfered, they would forfeit the title in question. It might not rival Simpson v Edwards, but I had every faith in the main event delivering. Milton and Edwards put on our two best matches of 2022 and the history of the rivalry added to the spectacle. Milton still held a 2-1 head-to-head advantage over The Human Weapon, who only achieved his victory with the help of the now-barred Ares Death Cult. Having won the DIW Title against a Cult member at last year’s Hardcore Hallelujah, we’d leaned into the idea of another Crazy Blue winter. Would history repeat itself, or would I just book all my blokes to retain again like my critics expected?

I love this analysis @AboardTheArk, thanks a lot for sharing it. I agree about Momoe/Lori: it's been eight months already, which is a long time to make people wait for a midcard match between two unremarkable workers. The Milton v Mattell main events scored 48 and 49, which is no disaster given our popularity in NSW is 31, but every other main event in 2023 has been 57+. With Vaughan, I think he wants to believe what he's saying and that there's nobility to the action he's taken, but it appears to have been provoked by insecurity at seeing his underlings surpassing him. Part 32: Long-term booking It was fair to say I’d had a pretty gentle initiation into booking. No major injuries, nobody poached, no locker room mutinies. We’d even been given a few million by a random bloke. Sure, The Comedian and The Barracudas were tricky to deal with, but booking DIW had definitely been easier so far than I thought it would be at the start. It meant that until this point, my preferred booking approach of mapping out all my planned main events, title changes and key feud developments at the start of each year hadn’t really been tested, but I sensed that was about to change. Fresh rumours of RAW and AE expansion plans emerged every day so, with Rob Edwards, Blitz Simpson, Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills in particular on fire, surely it was only a matter of time before someone took notice. But even beyond that, the Milton Hittlespitz and Dexter Mattell situation had shown me the shortcomings of my long-term outlook, boxing myself into repeating that main event twice in three months when I knew after the first attempt that the combination wasn’t quite strong enough to carry a card right now. I wondered if I might face a similar reckoning soon with Vaughan. He defied his aging body to put on one hell of a show with Edwards in February. However, now at a time when I was starting to feature him more prominently, there were signs that both his popularity and performance levels were cooling off. It reassured me to an extent that I’d at least made the right call pulling off the Barracudas triple threat in April, but whether we’d do justice to what I hoped to achieve in the second half of the year remained to be seen.

It looks like you picked the perfect running order with the hottest match as the main event and then managing to follow it again with an even hotter angle. I guess having the Golden Elite loss hidden quite early might help them with the shaking it off you mentioned too. I always love the little details like Hugh Ancrie still not being satisfied even in victory because it wasn't a submission. Sorry to hear Dan DaLay is in decline so soon after Joey and Whippy, but it doesn't seem to be affecting his ratings much yet. The quarter-final line-up again shows how stacked the top of the card is right now, and that's without factoring in Atherton, Joey, Whippy and Alex DeColt.

Thanks for reading and for the kind words @John Lions. I'm not wise enough to the game mechanics to know the exact issue with Mattell's ratings so far, possibly being penalised for his low hardcore score, but I'll likely just push through it as between his skillset, personality and relationship with other roster members, he's got so much upside and feels like a perfect foil for many of our stars. I just checked and Original Lone Rider is on RAW in this mod, brought in when they launched an extra show, but luckily another classy road agent candidate became available in the second half of 2023. Apologies @AboardTheArk, I broke one of your booking principles in this show. Part 31: Carnage In Canberra 2023 Carl Paris v Vaughan Vaughan shunned his usual crowd entrance to walk to the ring the conventional way. Whereas most of Paris’ opponents respond to his flurries of offence with renewed focus, Vaughan opted to introduce a pipe, wearing the youngster down with it and then using it to amplify his Choke Sleeper. Vaughan took a mic and said he didn’t do what he did last month out of hate, he did it out of tough love. He said Blitz Simpson and Chopper Rourke had a different DIW experience to him. Sure, they’d all been DIW Champion, but they did it off the back of his success. When they were happy doing their thing in the tag division, he fought and bled for their credibility and opportunities. He swore that he didn’t resent Blitz taking his spot, he just wanted him to earn it like he had done. It was out of compassion that he was teaching him these lessons as, if he learnt them on his own, it would be a lot slower and a lot more painful. Blitz didn’t seem to accept the explanation, charging to the ring and throwing fists. Chopper arrived and tried to get between them, but Blitz used the separation to grab a chair, swinging wildly at Vaughan, who ducked, causing Blitz to catch Chopper in the head. His remorse was instant, as was Vaughan’s exit. The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Saracens (Cueball and Tank) Having made clear their intentions to compete for the Tag Titles very soon, The Benchmark extended their perfect record in DIW to 4-0 with a victory over Saracens in which Cueball experienced the Double Down. The fans in Marv’s have taken to them in a way they don’t usually do to outsiders. As The Benchmark had their arms raised, Markus Rush entered. He introduced himself to them as part of Momoe Hamuera’s training team. She was preparing for a match, only it wasn’t just Lori she was after now, she wanted Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos too. Rush asked Boon and Mills if they were ready to join her in that mission, and the answer appeared to be a yes. Wrecker, Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw v Mr. Pink, Seth Wish and Con McReady The biggest surprise here was that no members of Ares Death Cult intervened to assist the blokes doing our bidding. It was a competitive fight but, as I’m sure everyone expected given the stipulation that Wrecker and the MFers (a name too catchy for a one-off team) would earn title shots if they won, they did indeed win. Shaw sealed the deal with a Spinning Brainbuster on McReady. It was at this point that Cesar, Gyula and I opted to make an appearance. I said that Wrecker and the MFers may feel like winners, but all they’d done was seal their fate. I pointed out that Ares Death Cult had already completed 12 successful title defences this year: three of the fighters beaten were no longer in DIW, and two of the teams we’d defeated were no longer together. So I told them to enjoy tonight, because they wouldn’t get to enjoy tomorrow. Wrecker and the MFers (I’m squeezing that name in there one more time while I can) acted defiant, but I instructed Cesar and Gyula to leave, content that my parade-raining work was done. Kobra Khan v Pat Rigsby This was arguably the least significant match of the night, but it still got the crowd buzzing, leaving me in a much better mood than at the same point of Massacre last month. Kobra Khan used his Ripcord Knee to extend his recent winning run. I was back out next with DIW Champion Rob Edwards and Australian Champion Lloyd Banks, who were teaming together for the first time to tune up for their title defences next month. After taking credit for tearing The Barracudas apart, The Human Weapon claimed he couldn’t decide who he wanted to beat next month, whether it would be more satisfying to beat Milton Hittlespitz one more time, or vanquish a new victim in Dexter Mattell. The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) v Rob Edwards and Lloyd Banks This should have been a joyous day for The Warriors, enjoying the demise of their regular scourges The Barracudas. Instead, they faced a superteam of DIW’s two singles champions. The story we told was of Banks being eager to impress his partner, even resisting the barbed wire to follow The Human Weapon’s example in forgoing foreign objects. He let the DIW Champion have the glory though, tagging Edwards in to clean Mr. Orange’s clock with a Roundhouse Kick. Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell Mattell used a series of crowd-antagonising submissions to dominate the first half of this match. When Milton eluded a Boston Crab, he slid out of the ring and asked for a mic. He claimed to have just remembered that Mattell told him to ask Mel Hittlespitz why he was called Raw Sex, so he did, and she told him she thought the nickname was Poor Sex. She also said it wasn’t just in the ring that Mattell didn’t measure up to other blokes. Juvenile stuff, right, but surprisingly effective in unsettling Mattell. Initially, he channelled the aggression well, sending Milton flying into the railings. However, introducing a chair was a fatal error, as he was nowhere near as skilled at using one as Crazy Blue, who quickly turned the tide. He dropkicked it into him, whacked him with it and then laid it on his torso to connect with a Flying Knee Drop. For the second year in a row, Milton secured a DIW Title shot in Canberra and, for the second year in a row, he celebrated by surfing the Canberra crowd (a DIW record crowd of 408, for that matter).

Part 30: Concerns before Canberra I wasn’t too sure how to feel about Massacre. My initial reaction was elation for convincing the boss and The Barracudas to go with my intended finish, and critical reception appeared to be surprisingly positive too, with some rating it as the best show since I’d taken the book. However, it had been even more of a one-match show than I’d predicted. The first 70 minutes served up almost nothing memorable, with The Comedian’s appearance, Blitz Simpson and Rob Edwards’ brilliant main event and the big finish creating a collective amnesia about what came before. This wasn’t a problem in itself: I’d mentioned beforehand that I saw it primarily as a set-up show, so that rough 70 minutes could be excused if we followed up well. My concern was whether the card I’d laid out for Carnage In Canberra was strong enough to do that. We had two high-stakes matches announced – Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell to confirm a challenger for Rob Edwards at Hardcore Hallelujah and Wrecker and Two Badass MFers v Mr. Pink, Seth Wish and Con McReady to see if the former could earn title shots at the same show – plus the intrigue of Vaughan appearing after costing Blitz the title last month. So why was I worried? Because Edwards and Blitz had carried the previous show and, for only the second time in 2023, neither of them were headlining. The other occasion was Devil May Care, also led by Milton and Mattell, and that had been perceived as our weakest show of the year so far. It was difficult to pinpoint the exact issue: the crowd treated both blokes like major stars, they seemed to be into the story, and Milton had always delivered in the past. Perhaps the problem wasn’t anything that he’d been doing wrong, just that Blitz and Edwards had raised the bar so much in recent months that it was impossible for anyone else to reach that standard right now. But this was Milton and Mattell’s chance to show that they belonged in the same conversation.