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I wasn't around when this dynasty launched so I just read through everything: a cool concept executed really well. Sorry to hear it's not continuing, but I look forward to seeing what you do next.

@AboardTheArk I was worried about telegraphing it too much with Vaughan taking the title shot Blitz Simpson earned at the start of the year and Ares Death Cult setting it up so The Barracudas' only route to the title was through each other, but maybe I was so wary of over-foreshadowing that I didn't foreshadow it enough! I can't promise that trust in the booker will be vindicated here, haha. Part 29: Rush and Rusty Do you believe in life after Lou? You may recall me mentioning that I had three candidates in mind following the shock departure of DIW lifer road agent Lou Brookmyre and that two were instantly shot down: former booker Big Jim Teasdale and former DIW Champion Mayhem Mulhoney. The third contender was Markus Rush. From a distance, he seemed to have it all. He’d performed a similar role for over a decade with APW, theoretically a bigger company at that time, so had Lou’s experience and people skills, but with a sunnier disposition and 15 less years on the clock. However, Shawn had heard some whispers that he might not be as skilled as Lou or the boss at putting matches together. The solution I settled on was to try him out as a road agent, but to trial someone else too. If they both worked out, great, we had two new people to help lay out matches. But as long as one of them was a hit, we wouldn’t need to start over, or destabilise the locker room with two quick changes to a position that had only previously had one occupant. My second choice was Rusty Mills. This was a risky move in some ways as he was new to the locker room and younger than most of our main eventers, so it could have been seen as an over-promotion and sparked resentment. But everything he’d done since joining had been great, and he was so thrilled with the opportunity that he was happy to take it on without any extra pay, so it was ultimately an easy call. And a shrewd one too, may I humbly add. He was an instant hit. Rush, not so much. I’d given him two undercard matches (Kobra Khan v Tank and Pat Rigsby v Mr. Pink) and both fell short of the low expectations I had, with the feedback I gathered from the blokes involved underwhelming. So it would be Mills rather than Rush taking on Lou’s workload, which presented two dilemmas. Firstly, I wouldn’t have a direct Lou replacement in acting as a buffer between me and the boss. Big Jim, Mulhoney or Rush had the seniority to play that part, but it would’ve created too much locker room imbalance to demand that of Mills as an active fighter, and a new one at that. And secondly, I didn’t want to just dispose of Rush. I feared it would make me look incompetent to both the boss and the blokes to immediately drop someone I’d brought in. I also suspected his experience and positive personality could still be an asset if I could find another way to utilise him, though unfortunately I wasn’t too clear on what that would be.

Part 28: Diplomatic success So there you have it. It might yet prove to be a disastrous booking decision, but it was easily my biggest diplomatic success so far. I’d convinced the boss and The Barracudas to sign off on my plan of Vaughan costing Blitz Simpson the DIW Title at Massacre, without a road agent to help me navigate the political instability. How did The Comedian find out my plan before he threatened to pull the plug earlier in the week? I knew Lou Brookmyre hadn’t stooged me off to the boss as we didn’t discuss it before he left. I’m fairly sure it was The Barracudas wanting to make sure he agreed before going ahead. After all, I decided to talk to them before Lou or the boss out of courtesy, as I wouldn’t have gone ahead with it if they crapped all over the idea. Being honest, if they said no, I doubt I could’ve overruled them anyway. I grabbed them straight after the triple threat at Havoc. I came prepared (and I don’t just mean the crate of beers), well aware they were going to give me a hard time. And to their credit, they heard me out, giving me more time than they ever had before to outline what each of them would do next, eager to reassure them that there was a long-term plan they were all factored into. This wasn’t car-crash booking and I wouldn’t let any of them be lost in the shuffle or treat any of them as an afterthought. Still, it wasn’t enough. Vaughan said sure I had a plan, and it wasn’t the worst one, but he wasn’t convinced a six-month story was worth sacrificing over 13 years as the most successful and inseparable unit in this company for. Blitz was more cynical, suggesting I’d come up with this secondary storyline for them with my blokes to sideline them and let my blokes play champions for longer. I assured him that wasn’t the case, and on the contrary my intention was to throw even more spotlight on The Barracudas, this time as individuals as well as a unit, to establish them as even bigger stars. But we’d reached an impasse. They said they’d go away and talk. And, given what had happened since, it was fair to assume they didn’t just mean with one another. I don’t know what happened next. Whether they convinced the boss to give it a go or he convinced them, or what deals were struck to made it beneficial for everyone to proceed. All I knew was that I got a text from The Comedian a few hours before Massacre telling me we were using my “gutsy” main event finish, which was the first I knew of it being approved. Maybe he meant “gutsy” as praise, but I took it as his way of telling me I was making a mistake. When The Barracudas arrived at Marv’s, Vaughan told me they were in, though Blitz and Chopper alongside him still wore expressions that I interpreted as “if this angle buries us, we’ll make sure it’s your funeral”. They’d given me those looks too often not to recognise them by now. But it went ahead amidst the scepticism. And what was coming next would arguably be even harder than convincing everyone to do it in the first place: proving it was the right call.

Thanks for the comment @christmas_ape. Regrettably I've followed the recent kind comments in this thread with my worst-booked show and an angle I imagine disappointing many DIW fans... Part 27: Massacre 2023 Wrecker v Cueball Wrecker started slowly, still sporting some wounds from last month’s two-on-one Australian Title beating at the hands of Lloyd Banks and Mr. Pink, but his superior quality soon showed, achieving a fairly straightforward win with his Mighty Bulldog. The Barracudas entered through the crowd next. Blitz Simpson said there was no denying that Ares Death Cult had things their way over the last six months, but tonight The Barracudas would show them that they were still the dominant force in DIW, just like they had always been. Kobra Khan v Tank Tank demanded this match to avenge Cueball’s loss to Kobra Khan at Devil May Care, but he also found himself floored by the three-time Australian Champion’s Ripcord Knee. This was ugly. Dexter Mattell accepted Milton Hittlespitz’s invitation to join him in the ring. Well, he got as far as the entranceway at least, asking what incentive there was for him to fight Milton again? He said he wasn’t like the other blood-thirsty freaks in DIW who enjoyed being in pain, he fought for money and prizes. Milton said because of Mattell, he never got his DIW Title rematch, so why didn’t they meet in Canberra next month to decide a contender for Hardcore Hallelujah. Mattell told him he was on, and Milton predicted that another Crazy Blue winter was about to begin. The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) v The Wild Things (Seth Wish and Con McReady) After a promising start, The Wild Things now had a losing record as a team due to getting on the wrong side of The Benchmark over the last two months. Their canes helped get them back on track here, and Seth Wish finished the job with Dust In The Wind on Mr. Green. Pat Rigsby v Mr. Pink Expert troll Rigsby had an easy target here, inevitably opening the contest by goading Mr. Pink about laying down for Lloyd Banks last month, offering to return the favour and then kicking him between the legs as he approached. Mr. Pink returned fire with a more aggressive showing than we’re used to seeing, claiming victory with a Pink Thunder Bomb onto a trash can. Death Ref appeared to borrow some of Rigsby’s material next, saying that he’d found a worthier challenger than Wrecker for Lloyd Banks tonight, only for it to transpire that it was winless rookie Carl Paris. Australian Title: Carl Paris v Lloyd Banks (c) This match followed our usual Paris formula, with his opponent underestimating him and being shown up a few times, taking longer than expected to make a breakthrough, but eventually winning with his finisher, in this case a Piledriver. The Barbed Wire Messiah never resorted to his weapon of choice though, perhaps emphasising that he didn’t need it to complete his fourth title defence. I entered the ring to congratulate Banks and Shawn, before sending them to the back. I said I’d hoped Momoe Hamuera would finally show up tonight, but the Cult had searched the back and she was nowhere to be found. A commotion in the crowd revealed that she was there and making her way to the ring. How careless of me to leave myself alone at her mercy… is what you’d be saying if this wasn’t a ruse. She entered the ring, I did the big gulp of fear and she soaked up the fan response just a little too long before acting. Before she could notice Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos entering from the opposite side, Gyula had knocked her down with a Clothesline from behind, and they followed up with a vicious Blood Sacrifice, enabling me to stand over her for the second time this year. The Benchmark came out to confront Cesar and Gyula, but I advised them not to hang around. The Benchmark were about to speak when Two Badass MFers interrupted. Hendrix Hughes said he understood why The Benchmark wanted to get their hands of the champions, but they were at the front of the queue and nobody was knocking them out of the line. Donovan Boon asked if that was right, but Rusty Mills stopped things from escalating further, saying Two Badass MFers could have the first shot, but they’d better take it as The Benchmark wouldn’t be waiting any longer. Hughes and Seb Shaw waited until they’d left before inviting the crowd to put their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW. As they lit up, they were surprised by The Comedian’s music. The Comedian introduced himself to Two Badass MFers as the original Badass MFer. He said Ares Death Cult are doing two things that anger him: ducking worthy challengers and letting people fight their battles. One contender match had already been announced for Canberra: Milton v Mattell. He thought it was time for another. Banks, Cesar and Gyula were ducking Wrecker and Two Badass MFers. If they want Mr. Pink and The Wild Things fighting for them, that would happen next month: a six-man tag. If Wrecker and the MFers beat Mr. Pink and The Wild Things in Canberra, they’d get Hardcore Hallelujah title shots. And Ares Death Cult members would be banned from ringside throughout that show. Either this was a slightly complicated premise, or a bit too wordy for someone as direct as the boss, but the fans were happy to see him at least, and to see Ares Death Cult’s tactics being turned against us. DIW Title: Blitz Simpson v Rob Edwards (c) If you’re going to book a one-match show, you need that match to deliver, and wow did Blitz and Edwards deliver. Death Ref came out with the champ as Banks had been instructed to escort me out of Marv’s, but the rest of the stables stayed away. If it felt too good to be true, it was. The first time Blitz signalled for his Lifting DDT, Death Ref swung at him with a chair, but the challenger anticipated it and blocked the shot, dropping our leader onto the chair with a Lifting DDT. This brought out Cesar and Gyula, but Chopper Rourke and Vaughan were ready to return fire. In the ring, Edwards’ Roundhouse Kick was evaded by Blitz and the champ landed awkwardly in the ropes. Blitz lifted him up to finally execute his Lifting DDT, but felt someone grab his legs between the ropes preventing him from dropping his opponent. He turned expecting to see Cesar or Gyula, but it was Vaughan. Before Blitz had time to make sense of it, he was hit by Edwards’ Roundhouse Kick. Vaughan walked off, pursued by a confused Chopper, as Edwards followed up with a second Roundhouse Kick to guarantee a three count.

The presentation of this dynasty is incredible and it's backed up with some very compelling stories. I like the starting premise of staying true to the promotion's roots and following a natural trajectory rather than changing everything or taking a more global approach. The Marco Gonzalez angle is my highlight so far: an 18-year-old with the world at his feet already both in terms of connections and the in-ring opportunity he's earned. It feels like there are so many interesting directions you can take it, so I look forward to seeing how it plays out. The tag title finish in this latest show sets things up nicely for the next few too with Xavi Ferrera taking the fall that cost his stablemates the gold and the House of Handsome down to one title as a result. Edit: Forgot to add that I enjoyed the People's Championship post-match spot for making the crowd reaction part of the show. I always figure it has to boost the atmosphere in an intimate venue like this when they you show the crowd their participation can make a difference.

There was lots to like here as always. I enjoyed the tease of backstage DeColt-Garcia tension (life imitating art), Skip Beau getting an important win and the fun dynamic of the fans not accepting Ian as a DeColt. It's cool how you drip your own booking analysis into the report: why Thunder and Lightning had to win, the uncertainty over Blockbuster, etc. I thought this show also did a good job of establishing why Atherton judged it worthwhile to use his wish on Garcia: both the material stuff with the bus but also recruiting a new member. Finally, I love details like Ancrie calling Atherton a fool rather than something stronger because of the timeslot. I feel like this attention to detail really brings it to life.

Part 26: Philosophy I’m not sure I had been booking long enough or well enough to claim to have a philosophy, but I would say that 18 months into my run, a few patterns had emerged. Firstly, I tried to spread our highest-profile matches out as much as possible, to ensure there was at least one high-stakes attraction our fans were eager to see at every show, rather than for instance having a supercard every three months and using the shows in between as filler. Cards towards the end of the year might be a bit more stacked as the year-long stories we were telling reached their culmination, but the general theory remained. My DIW cards were generally split around 50/50 between matches featuring well-matched fighters receiving similar pushes which were hopefully harder for our fans to predict and matches where a more established wrestler was building momentum against someone not quite on his level. The idea was that fans got to see their favourite fighters at every show, without giving myself the headache of half of my top blokes losing every month by putting them all against one another. Wrestling fans had been trained to see predictable as bad in recent decades, but my hope was that, for example, the crowd would accept seeing Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos beat a team who aren’t on their level every few months if we made it clear we were building to something bigger, putting them in compelling angles and offering more competitive matches elsewhere on the show. If every match was even, we wouldn’t be able to build any stars, so I saw this as necessary as well as convenient. Why am I writing about all this now? Because Massacre 2023 was perhaps my most drastic example of booking a show around one match – arguably the most attractive one we had to offer in Blitz Simpson v Rob Edwards for the DIW Title – and hoping that spectacle and the angles we had planned would distract the fans from the lack of competitive undercard matches, and the extent to which we were using this show to build up to the next few. But there was no Lou Brookmyre to read out the hardcore booking laws I was breaking anymore, and The Comedian was too alarmed by one particular angle to concern himself with the rest of the card so, if ever there was a show to adopt this approach for, it was Massacre 2023.

Part 25: Arguing again The Comedian called four nights before Massacre and he was furious about something I had planned for the show. “I shouldn’t have found out about this from someone else. Weren’t you going to tell me?” he asked. “You always say that if I’m going to do something you might not like, don’t let you know in advance or you’ll stop me,” I replied. “But this is another level.” “You’ve questioned my plans before, but you know by now that I’m always thinking ahead, I always know what the payoff will be. I don’t just make big decisions on a whim.” “And when it happened in the past, I ran with it. But right now, we’re in a really good position to get that broadcast deal by the end of the year. If this goes wrong, it puts all that at risk.” “Respectfully,” I said, and then took a long pause, weighing up whether what I wanted to say could really win me the argument, or would actually make things a whole lot worse. But there was no going back now. “Nothing we do at Massacre could possibly be as bad for business as you sending 300 of our fans home with a toast to a dead crypto millionaire none of them had heard of. You took your risk, please give me the chance to take mine.” “I’ve let you get that dig at me in before. Make sure that’s the last time you do. Anyway, I’m going to need some time to think this one through.” With that, he hung up, leaving me clueless as to whether I’d have to rebook a big part of Friday’s show.

Thanks for such a kind comment @AboardTheArk. I feel like most of my undercarders aren't really well defined, especially compared to yours with their distinct personalities and motivations, but developing their characters more is an ambition for 2024 if I make it that far. Part 24: A shock departure With the constant speculation about Cutting Edge Wrestling bolstering their roster and Australian Pro Wrestling’s recent move for Blitz Simpson, every time I checked my phone, I braced myself for bad news. And yet when the moment came that I was told for only the second time in my booking career that someone was walking out on me, I was totally unprepared. “Well kid, that was my last show,” announced Lou Brookmyre. “What, you’re kidding me. How am I supposed to make this work without my ringmaster? Is there nothing I can do the change your mind?” I pleaded. “I’m afraid not. You know, I first spoke to The Comedian about leaving when Big Jim got fired. I wanted to go on my own terms, not wait to be told my time was up like Big Jim was. He asked me to stick around for a while to help you get settled and you know how it is: he’s surprisingly persuasive. Anyway, I know we don’t agree on everything, and you still do some things I wouldn’t do, but you’ve definitely got a grip on the role now, even some of the in-ring decisions that you didn’t want to touch at the start, so my work here is done.” “I know I’ve probably done your head in at times, but I really wouldn’t have got this far without you, and I truly do appreciate your guidance. This place won’t be the same without you.” I meant it too. Lou often infuriated me, especially at the start when he seemed to resist all my ideas, but anyone in his position would’ve done the same. Hell, most 35-year veterans wouldn’t have been as receptive of a 32-year-old female manager replacing their friend and calling the shots as he was. Six months or so of friendlier relations made it a lot easier to accept that now. But I’d miss him most as that buffer between myself and the boss, even if I did get paranoid in the past about him badmouthing me behind my back. Without Lou around, I might have to start having pre-show run-throughs with The Comedian instead, and it was particularly bad timing given something I was planning to do at Massacre next month. I’d almost certainly need to replace Lou too. The boss shared some of the road agent load, but now he was getting busier on the business side, so it was too big a workload to carry alone on top of everything else. Not to mention, how do I put this politely, he wasn’t really personable enough to lead in that role, whereas Lou could get on with anyone. I had three names on my mind. Firstly, I wondered whether Big Jim could be talked into the role, treating his acceptance of the Beach Babes book as a cry for help. Unfortunately, it was made pretty clear to me that him and the boss weren’t ready to reconcile yet. I also liked the idea of Mayhem Mulhoney. Sure, he had criticised me in the past, but he was a DIW legend who knew the environment and half the roster and was great at getting people over. But I was advised he wouldn’t consider such a role right now, which I guess wasn’t too shocking. The reason he left was his desperation to prolong his in-ring career, and he was currently holding Original Legends Deathmatches’ top title at the age of 45. The third person on my starting shortlist had no prior DIW experience, but had performed a similar job elsewhere and, from everything I’d heard about him, had the perfect personality for it, sharing Lou’s passion for telling stories. I just questioned whether he had the hardcore background to put together the kind of matches our fans demanded, so a more creative solution might be required. A strange side-effect of this upheaval was the flicker of sympathy I felt for the boss. Yes, the company had more money than he could’ve ever dreamt was possible and had aspirations of expanding its reach beyond everyone’s expectations, but to be sharing that moment with me rather than the two blokes he’d had by his side from the start had to feel odd.

Part 23: Devil May Care 2023 Carl Paris v Rob Edwards The fact this non-title match went almost 10 minutes said more about how many different ways The Human Weapon could inflict punishment on an opponent than how good Paris was at resisting them, though the youngster got to show heart with a few gutsy kick-outs. There was no stopping Edwards though, who claimed a seventh straight win with his Roundhouse Kick. The DIW Champion commented after on being told he was disrespectful for walking out at the end of The Barracudas’ triple threat at Havoc. He said he was there to see three thugs beat the crap out of one another for a shot at him, he didn’t need to watch them all hold hands at the end. The Human Weapon pointed out that since he joined Ares Death Cult, The Barracudas couldn’t handle them: Blitz Simpson and Chopper Rourke lost to Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos, Vaughan lost to him, and Blitz would suffer the same fate at Massacre. Kobra Khan v Cueball This match wasn’t hyped or branded, we just wanted fans to see Kobra Khan win a singles match again after losing his last four. The Ripcord Knee clawed him some momentum back. Australian Title: Wrecker v Lloyd Banks (c) v Mr. Pink As Wrecker grew impatient waiting for the bell, Death Ref took a mic and asked if he thought this was a one-on-one match. He hadn’t earned that, so Death Ref proposed adding a more deserving challenger to make it more of an attraction: Wrecker’s former partner Mr. Pink. You’ve got it, it was a setup. Though Wrecker made things much more even than his opponents expected, he was taken down when Banks knocked him off the apron with a barbed wire board through a table Mr. Pink had set up. Under the direction of Death Ref, Mr. Pink then laid down for Banks to pin him before Wrecker could recover outside. Death Ref commended Mr. Pink for following instructions and told The Wild Things to treat his performance as inspiration for their own when partnering Cesar and Gyula against Two Badass MFers and The Benchmark later. The Barracudas entered through the crowd for a six-man match and Chopper Rourke said they needed to address what happened last month. What happened last month was that Blitz Simpson proved he was the best fighter in DIW right now, and he’d prove it again by becoming DIW Champion next month. He said it had been almost two years since The Barracudas held the DIW Title so it didn’t matter which one of them held it, just that they have it back in their possession where it belongs. The trio bumped fists in agreement. The Barracudas (Blitz Simpson, Chopper Rourke and Vaughan) v The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) and Pat Rigsby If you know your early 2020s DIW, you’ll know that nothing helps get The Barracudas on the same page better than beating up The Warriors. The addition of the permanently punchable Rigsby made this an even more attractive invitation for the jailbirds. Chopper scored the victory for his team with a Spinebuster on Mr. Green. Two Badass MFers said some people will think they’re hypocrites for agreeing to an eight-man tag tonight. And to that, they say: you’re damn right. They don’t like sharing their spotlight with anyone, but they had to make an exception because apparently this is the only way Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos will stand across the ring from them, and they wanted to show the world they were ready to take back their Tag Titles. They started to ask the fans to put their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW history when their partners for the night The Benchmark interrupted, hinting that they may dispute that claim. Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) and The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakato) and The Wild Things (Seth Wish and Con McReady) This was the first eight-man match we’d ran since my first show, and while that one was filler to get everyone on my opening card, this was a story-driven showcase of eight people the fans saw as stars (okay, perhaps not quite in Hughes, Shaw and McReady’s case, but they were well on their way). For 10 minutes, we built up to finally giving the fans a chance to see members of Two Badass MFers and Ares Death Cult collide and then, within 30 seconds, with Hughes catching Sionis by surprise and taking him down, an eager-to-impress Wish tagged himself in. However, Cesar and Gyula weren’t impressed, walking out in protest and, with The Benchmark nailing McReady with Double Down on the outside, Wish fell to Hughes’ Fireman’s Carry Bulldog on the inside. Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell Mattell set out to frustrate the fans and his opponent by slowing him down with a series of submissions, yet eventually Milton rallied, pulling off a string of crowd-pleasing moves and then signalling for the Flying Knee Drop. Mattell rolled under the ropes and grabbed a microphone. He claimed to have only just remembered that Milton asked him to explain his nickname. Well, if Crazy Blue wanted to know more, he could ask Mel Hittlespitz why they call him Raw Sex. He added that, thanks to her, he knew Milton wasn’t the only member of the family with a lot of imagination when it came to ways that you can use furniture. Milton lost control, unloading on Mattell in the corner to the extent that Tatum felt she had to intervene. Her attempts to cool Milton down failed though, and Mattell was ready when he charged at him, catching him in his STF. Milton refused to give his rival the satisfaction of a submission, but eventually passed out in pain. Mattell celebrated his eye-catching win obnoxiously, even kissing a disgusted Tatum on the cheek when she raised his hand (an Easter Egg for any of our fans obsessive enough to know they were real-life partners).

Part 22: Shooting themselves into a work I was completely incapable of understanding my fellow humans. At least that was how attempting to analyse Milton Hittlespitz and Dexter Mattell’s relationship made me feel. They disliked one another long before they’d ever met. Then a meeting specifically designed to squash their heat and help them see they were both decent blokes made no difference. But now that they were about to headline Devil May Care together after months of throwing personal insults at one another in front of hundreds of people, that was when they decided “hey, this man publicly emasculating me isn’t so bad”, “yeah, neither’s the one pointing out I’ve never been a main eventer and accusing me of begging RAW for a job”. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining. It made my life a lot easier – and I thought that as long as we kept the material fairly vicious, the fans wouldn’t detect any difference – it just perplexed me that a situation I feared would turn professional rivalry into outright hatred had unexpectedly had the opposite effect. Still, I was intrigued to see how the main event would be received. It was Mattell’s first since joining us, so it was unclear whether our hard-to-impress fans would accept him in that role. Milton hadn’t been in one since January either and, while he started our hot streak of main events last year, Rob Edwards and Blitz Simpson had arguably eclipsed him lately: would he hit the same heights, or had his popularity peaked? Also announced for Devil May Care was Wrecker getting a shot at Australian Champion Lloyd Banks, tune-up matches for Blitz and Edwards ahead of their DIW Title clash at Massacre, and a rare eight-man match pairing tag champions Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos with recent Ares Death Cult allies Seth Wish and Con McReady against the unlikely combination of The Benchmark and Two Badass MFers. As an aside, at the same time that bringing a locker room rivalry into the ring was working out surprisingly well for me with Milton and Mattell, the reverse scenario occurred. Whereas Wrecker and Mr. Pink had been friends even before I aligned them as The Wrecking Crew, their in-ring separation regrettably looked to have put distance between them away from it as well.

Part 21: Two shades of BS I’d yet to experience a period in Aussie wrestling that could be categorised as sane but, even by the standard I was used to, April 2023 was pretty out there. In addition to the arrival of Beach Babes and their shock reveal of Big Jim Teasdale as booker, it was reported that Revolution Australian Wrestling would undergo a change of direction from soap opera to reality TV. Or, to quote The Comedian: “They haven’t had an epiphany and noticed the word wrestling is in their name, they’re just painting over one shade of BS with another one.” Meanwhile, Beach Babes in the space of just over a week cancelled their first event due to not having a roster ready (aptly called It’s Over), and then announced a TV show. Evidently, knowledge of what would be worn was more important to the Girls, Cars and Violence! channel than who would be wearing it. If they didn’t speed up their recruitment, perhaps it wouldn’t just be all the company’s hats that Big Jim ended up wearing. A further frustration was Rob Edwards’ unwillingness to sign exclusively for us, at least not for the money I was offering, wanting to continue to work dates for New Era Wrestling. Even the positive of him finally winning a match there for the first time in six months was spoilt by it being for an undercard belt, meaning our main man was holding a smaller company’s fourth most prestigious title. And to put a bow on perhaps the worst month I’d experienced so far as booker in terms of news from other promotions – though maybe I should’ve just been grateful that we hadn’t been raided yet – The Anarchist suffered a broken neck that would cost him over a year of his career. I lost sleep wondering if it might’ve been avoided if I hadn’t kicked him out of DIW. Shawn assured me he’d probably have taken that booking regardless, but I felt guilty, especially knowing he was at a stage in his career where he might never make a full recovery.

Thanks for such kind comments. @AboardTheArk, yes it was an interesting time for Kobra Khan to be in such a hot match having dropped down the card recently. @JoshGallie, I can relate as I'm not too Cverse-aware either beyond DIW and @AboardTheArk's CGC dynasty has had that effect on me. Part 20: April Fools’? I was sure it had to be an April Fools’, and yet we were now in the final week of the month and it was still being reported as fact. Big Jim Teasdale had been haunting me for 16 months. It was as though he wrote the manual on booking hardcore wrestling and, every time I veered slightly away from its teachings, Lou Brookmyre was on hand to quote an extract to show me the error of my ways. It appeared he was finally back in work after his acrimonious DIW departure, only he wouldn’t be promoting barbed wire brawls, he’d be booking bikini-clad beach babes. Yes, the gorefest guru I was relentlessly measured up to had been hired as booker for what was now Australia’s second swimwear-wrestling crossover promotion, Beach Babes. Part of me was eager to taunt Lou about it, aware how mortifying it must have been for him that someone he held to such a high standard had lowered his own so dramatically. But Lou had been a lot less hostile recently so it didn’t make sense to antagonise him, plus it would probably have seemed a bit heartless to fire such shots as the person who’d taken his job in DIW, provoking the odd career change. So I decided to bite my tongue and save any sharp remarks for the next time Lou critiqued my plans by telling me what Big Jim would’ve done. Besides, it wasn’t all fun. Here we were with a few million hidden away and we still couldn’t find a broadcaster, and yet a second company filled with bikini models had been gifted a TV deal with none of the history and hard work that we’d put in. The Comedian was already determined to get more eyes on DIW, but this Beach Babes development was a whole new motivation. Now he started to treat it like a public duty: Australians needed to be able to see proper wrestling before it was too late and they wrote off the whole industry based on the crap they were being served up on multiple channels. “Now there are more Australian promotions for bikini models than actual wrestlers,” as he put it to me in one conversation.

Part 19: Havoc 2023 Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) v The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) Havoc started as Blood And Guts ended, with Two Badass MFers in the ring and the crowd in the palm of their hands. The Warriors enjoyed some early offence with the help of a steel sheet, but it was one-sided after Shaw was tagged in, and he put down Mr. Green with his Spinning Brainbuster. Hughes returned to the back-of-the-queue analogy after, saying they were VIPs and they waited for nobody, people waited for them. Just as they invited the fans to put their ciggies in the air, Cesar Sionis, Gyula Lakatos and I interrupted. Hughes and Shaw’s eyes were locked on the tag champs, meaning they didn’t see DIW Champion Rob Edwards emerge from behind them and level Shaw with a Roundhouse Kick. Hughes took the fight to The Human Weapon, but Cesar and Gyula were close behind to take him down with the Blood Sacrifice. Cesar used the steel sheet still in the ring to smack Hughes in the side of the head, while I handed Gyula a chain that he wrapped around his fist, punching Shaw several times to the extent he drew blood. They finally stopped to pose with Edwards as I watched on. Tag Titles: Saracens (Cueball and Tank) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c) Two Badass MFers were too beaten up to witness this insult being added to their injuries as we put up our tag titles against far less worthy challengers than themselves. Tank’s power helped him land a few shots, but he was ground down eventually and Cueball didn’t prove a hot enough tag, being taken out by Gyula’s Choke Bomb. I signalled for Cesar and Gyula to head to the back as Edwards and I entered the ring. I started by commenting that I knew Momoe Hamuera was back on the after-dinner speaking circuit for the next few months, and advising her to stay there safe from more concussions from me. Then I handed over to Edwards, who said he was planning to take a seat among the fans tonight and enjoy The Barracudas beating the crap out of one another for a shot at him at Massacre, but he’d been told by The Comedian earlier that no DIW Champion could go that long without a title defence, so he’d be in action tonight too. That brought out Kobra Khan. DIW Title: Kobra Khan v Rob Edwards (c) Let’s start with the positive: this was a brilliant match, one of the four best of my time with the book. Edwards was on such good form that he made Khan look a credible threat without any build. Even when the challenger missed a few spots, they were able to make it part of the story, and the crowd ate up the finish, which saw Edwards catch Khan’s Ripcord Knee millimetres from his face, throw him into the turnbuckle and then seamlessly connect with a Roundhouse Kick. But that couldn’t disguise terrible booking: a title defence against a fairly credible opponent should never have been given away unannounced in the first half of a show, and the quality of the match illuminated the mistake even further. That’s enough negativity for now though. Next out was Milton Hittlespitz, giving me a sense of pride in our current roster depth. We’d gone from Two Badass MFers to Cesar and Gyula to Edwards and now Milton, and we still had The Benchmark and The Barracudas to come. Crazy Blue said he wasn’t messing around anymore. Dexter Mattell had cost him a DIW Title shot and ducked him ever since, and he had waited long enough. Mattell appeared on the ramp but ventured no further. He knew Milton was anticipating a response to having his Raw Sex credentials questioned, but there would be a time and a place for that. But Mattell was ready to take the former DIW Champion up on his offer of introducing him to the main event, and asked if he was free next month. Milton answered yes, but told Mattell he didn’t have to wait until then. The New Zealander teased heading to the ring, before walking off. The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v The Wild Things (Seth Wish and Con McReady) Wish and McReady’s canes looked like being a difference maker, but when The Benchmark sought respite, it emerged that they too had stored two canes in the front row earlier in the night. What followed started out a little slapstick, with the two teams, well, slapping sticks, but the mood changed when Wish lost control of his. It flew from the ring into the barricade, luckily landing too low to hit a fan. He tried to sneak out of the ring to retrieve it, leaving himself exposed to multiple shots from Boon. McReady struck Boon in retaliation, but The Benchmark were a man up now and Mills stole McReady’s cane from behind, snapping it with his feet. A Double Down on McReady sealed The Benchmark’s biggest win yet in DIW. It wasn’t time for the main event yet, but The Barracudas made their entrance through the crowd. Vaughan said he hated to ruin Ares Death Cult’s evil masterplan, but The Barracudas always planned to have a triple threat this year. The only difference was they had wanted to win the DIW Title first and do it on their terms. He told Edwards he could never destroy a 17-year friendship that survived prison, the streets and The Comedian, promising that whichever Barracuda won, the other two would be in his corner at Massacre to see him win the title. Wrecker v Pat Rigsby Wrecker’s first solo match since being deserted by Mr. Pink was against someone eager to constantly remind him about it in Rigsby. The street fighter didn’t let the mind games get to him though, scoring a decisive win in under nine minutes with his Mighty Bulldog. Death Ref and Australian Champion Lloyd Banks stepped onto the ramp after, with Mr. Pink barely visible in the background, to let Wrecker know he could have a title shot at Devil May Care. Blitz Simpson v Chopper Rourke v Vaughan The trio did their usual crowd walk as a show of solidarity but, once Tatum rang the bell, all signs of friendship were gone as the trio hit stiff and often. They didn’t use weapons as they didn’t need to: the crowd were there for the novelty of them fighting one another and the pace and aggression made for a vicious enough spectacle, gleefully observed from a front row seat by DIW Champion Edwards. The finish saw Blitz have Vaughan down and signal for his Lifting DDT, only to be pulled out of the ring by Chopper and Spinebuster-ed onto the hard floor. On his return to the ring, Chopper underestimated Vaughan’s condition and got caught in the Choke Sleeper. It was unclear whether Vaughan hesitated over choking his partner or decided to change strategy, but he released the hold and gave him a Powerbomb instead. However, Vaughan didn’t see Blitz re-enter the ring, suddenly and slickly nailing him with a Nasty Neckbreaker and covering Chopper for the win. Blitz pulled Chopper and then Vaughan back to their feet. The trio stared at one another, milking the tension with a pause that seemed to last forever but probably wasn’t actually that long before Chopper raised Blitz’s right arm. Another pause ended with Vaughan lifting his left arm as Blitz signalled that the DIW Title would be around his waist soon. A scan of the front row showed that Edwards had somewhat disrespectfully already vacated his seat.

Part 18: The Barracudas triple threat The women’s match wasn’t my only divisive booking decision at Blood And Guts. I’d also announced a Barracudas triple threat between Blitz Simpson, Chopper Rourke and Vaughan at Havoc to determine the next DIW Title challenger. It was probably the closest thing to a dream match that we had to offer: three former DIW Champions and long-term main eventers who had never exchanged punches owing to their gang loyalty. But that didn’t make things easy. Some of our fans didn’t want to see them fight, such was their strength as a unit, while others believed that a match of this magnitude needed much more than a month of build-up. So why was I doing it now? Firstly, it seemed like a natural story progression. The Barracudas had been vocal about getting the top gold back in 2023, but Ares Death Cult held the power, so it was logical for us to use both factors to put our enemies in an uncomfortable position. And secondly, yes, perhaps we would have spent a year building up such a showdown in an ideal scenario, but time wasn’t on our side. All three Barracudas were 36 or older, Chopper and Vaughan had already slowed down a bit and Blitz was being pursued by rival promotions. So I would much rather do the match now, without a big build but at a perfect time for the main story we were telling, than try to save it for a special occasion that might never arrive. Were The Barracudas on board? That was never easy to tell. I tried to handle the situation as sensitively as possible, sending them the bullet points of my plan by text ahead of Blood And Guts to allow them time to think it over and discuss it together and let me know before the show if they had any objections before we announced the match for Havoc. They seemed quite jovial when we met, saying it was about time they gave one another a bit of what they gave the rest of the roster, and playfully (I think) observing that an all-Ares Death Cult match would never be as much of a draw of this. The conversation closed with Chopper getting in my face and sharply interrogating “I’ll be the one going over, right?” and a tense pause, before they all started laughing, pleased with themselves for unsettling me.

Part 17: Women’s wrestling Believe it or not, what went down at Blood And Guts was always my plan for Momoe Hamuera’s second appearance. It hadn’t been influenced by my concern over whether our fans were ready to truly embrace women’s wrestling. I saw it as a win for everyone. It gave Momoe someone to squash and establish her dominance. It gave Tatum the accolade of being in DIW’s first women’s match and, while fans understandably didn’t fully take to her in the role having been used to her as a referee, she looked tough in returning to her officiating duties later in the night. It gave me a chance to outsmart my rival without making her look weak, increasing people’s appetite for wanting to see her eventually destroy me. And it gave the crowd a taster of women’s wrestling to help them adjust before serving them our main women’s attraction of me versus Momoe. I understood that not everyone shared my perspective. A bait and switch like this was risky, not just in antagonising our own fans but the wider community. We promoted the first ever women’s match in our history between an outside star and me, one of our most established villains, and served up a sham fight with a referee instead. Before getting to do the job for real, I used to belong to an online community that fantasy-booked promotions from imaginary universes, and I never forgot how much one bloke was hounded when he booked the top American promotion’s first ever women’s multi-person ladder match, only to have a man retrieve the prize. He faced such a huge backlash that he retconned the whole thing. I knew some people might find my booking similarly offensive. But most of all, my approach to Blood And Guts had bought me time. Both to build up to that eventual Lori v Momoe showdown – and train a bit for it too – but also to decide whether we could pull it off as a one-on-one match or should add some extra star power by maybe making it a mixed tag with male Barracudas and Ares Death Cult members involved. Oh, you’re probably wondering what The Comedian made of it all. He wasn’t completely dismissive, but did make a point of saying he wasn’t sure the crowd were ready for it. He was right. We’d built to Momoe stepping in a DIW ring for four months but, despite all the foreshadowing, it was as though someone had forgotten to press a button telling everyone at Marv’s to prepare themselves for the occasional dash of women’s wrestling. We’d make sure they were ready next time.

Congratulations on a well-booked Rumble and a very coherent story, especially with Gargantuan and Dubois going the distance and both looking great only to still miss out. I was a bit surprised to see Atherton take a few losses recently, but it all made sense in the end, and I think it was cool that his wish wasn't centred around the title given most of the recent ones had been in your breakdown of Rumble history. Plenty of other fun stuff with the six newcomers, the first table spot of the year (I like saving them to make them more of a big deal), the match of the year and the game no-selling your hype video, so it will be interesting to see how the tournament unfolds.

Part 16: A three-step plan “Did Blitz Simpson tell you what happened?” The Comedian asked me. “No, he’s never too talkative around me,” I replied. “All Pricks Wrestling (APW) made a move for him. Of course, he told them to shove it. But they want retribution for us taking Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills.” “There are lots of reports about CEW adding to their roster too.” “If it happens, it happens. We’ve lost blokes before and got stronger. Everyone’s replaceable.” I didn’t take this as a threat, just The Comedian being The Comedian. I pitched him my idea to try to make Rob Edwards exclusive to stop him eating losses in New Era Wrestling. He said if I could do it without paying silly money then give it a go. I asked about our expansion plans and he said that, while nothing is guaranteed, he thought we were on course to get a streaming deal by the end of the year. He outlined a three-step plan: 1) Get our monthly events broadcast 2) Look into acquiring a DIW-exclusive venue once we had an idea what impact that had on attendance (we were turning people away from Marv’s lately as 300 seats weren’t enough) 3) Once we’d been streaming for a few months, we’d assess if a weekly show was viable The thought of going from booking 90 minutes of action a month to potentially four times that was a scary one, but it was also exciting. What we were discussing seemed unthinkable when I took over just over a year ago. And contrary to what you might think, this wasn’t all about the money. Even with our four new recruits and our recent production upgrades, we were still profitable with only one more behind-the-scenes change needed – the admittedly expensive act of getting a studio to do our own music and video – to be broadcast-ready. The couple of million in the bank was just acting as security: we probably wouldn’t have risked trying to broadcast a few months ago with only a few thousand in spare change as one or two loss-making months could’ve killed us off. Now we could afford to take the risk and see if it was viable long-term. That was all that changed. It was hard work that had made this possible more than the Alf Kennedy inheritance that still wasn’t public knowledge. But we weren’t there yet and even The Comedian’s prediction that we’d get there before the end of the year could be sabotaged if he and the Aussie wrestling rumour mill were right that talent raids were imminent, so I couldn’t get too excited about growth or terrified about an increased workload.

Part 15: Blood And Guts 2023 Momoe Hamuera v Tatum Richards The New Zealand rugby international got a decent pop on her second DIW appearance. I stepped on the ramp and said I challenged her to come to Blood And Guts for a match, but I never said it would be against me. I said she could face Tatum, who was in the ring expecting to officiate. I introduced Death Ref to take over her duties. Hamuera started with a rugby tackle, dominating DIW’s first ever women’s match and winning with her Sin Bin. Death Ref was a bit slow to raise Hamuera’s arm after the bell and it soon became clear why as I blindsided her by launching a rugby tackle bag at her head, knocking her off her feet. I added an extra insult by introducing a rugby ball that I punted across the ring in her face, provoking the crowd by asking my darling Death Ref to raise my hand. Carl Paris v Dexter Mattell With Tatum in the back for treatment, Death Ref prolonged his unforeseen officiating return as we tested our fans’ tolerance levels by following our first ever women’s match with a clash between two of our more technical fighters. Mattell needed almost twice as long as Hamuera to put his opponent away, but extended his perfect DIW start with his trusted STF. Milton Hittlespitz was out next. Mattell opted not to stick around and throw fists, instead retreating to the aisle he spoke from last month. Crazy Blue said 2023 had started like 2022 with people screwing with him, only this time he wasn’t taking any crap. He claimed Raw Sex was a stupid nickname, speculating that Mattell put Raw in his name to try to impress a company who didn’t even know who he was, and he probably had as much experience of sex as he had of RAW. Milton told Mattell that if he ever stopped running from him, he’d be happy to show him what a main event looked like. I suspect Milton found this promo cathartic. Milton Hittlespitz and Kobra Khan v The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) Milton and Kobra headlined a show together six months ago, but neither had won a match since November, and these were the ideal opponents to put that right against. The Warriors introduced weapons at each available opportunity to try to overcome the gap in quality, but it continually backfired on them, most disastrously when Kobra Khan’s Ripcord Knee sent the trash can lid Mr. Orange was holding crashing into his face for the win. DIW Champion Rob Edwards took to the ring, tellingly waiting until Milton had made his exit. He said people had questioned his commitment to the Ares Death Cult cause, claiming he was only with them for his own benefit, but this announcement would benefit his brothers. His last challenger was chosen by “Barracuda logic”, with Vaughan getting a shot because he’d waited the longest. He swore Barracuda logic would never be used to pick a challenger again because, over the last year, all three of them had a DIW Title shot against Ares Death Cult and all three of them had lost. No, there was only one way to another DIW Title shot for The Barracudas, and that was through each other. He’d arranged a triple threat match for them at Havoc, and looked forward to facing the best of a bad bunch at Massacre in June. Australian Title: Mr. Pink v Lloyd Banks (c) Tatum Richards limped back out for this match, getting a small pop both for her gutsiness and the fact she’d prevented Death Ref from being able to officiate a match involving an Ares Death Cult member. Mr. Pink got this shot as a reward for abandoning Wrecker to allow Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos to retain the Tag Titles, and it looked like Banks might regret it when he scored a series of near falls. Frustrated at his inability to finish the job, Mr. Pink went outside for a weapon but was greeted by Wrecker, who hit a Mighty Bulldog onto the floor and threw his former partner in the ring for a Piledriver he couldn’t get up from. Wrecker couldn’t enjoy his moment of revenge as Seth Wish and Con McReady started wailing on him with canes, having seemingly been summoned by Death Ref. The Wild Things threw Wrecker into the ring where Banks hit him with a Piledriver and Mr. Pink had the final say with a Pink Thunder Bomb. Saracens (Cueball and Tank) v The Wild Things (Seth Wish and Con McReady) Those same canes helped ensure Wish and McReady’s first match as a team was a success, before Con McReady’s Iron Fist left Cueball on the mat. Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills said after the match that The Wild Things might think they made the safer choice in apparently aligning with Ares Death Cult, but it meant they had a problem with The Benchmark now, and it was one they would take care of at Havoc. Tag Titles: The Barracudas (Blitz Simpson and Chopper Rourke) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c) Two key moments determined the outcome of this violent main event, both appearing to indicate that we were a far more cohesive unit than The Barracudas right now. The first saw Death Ref and I point out Edwards watching from the crowd to send Vaughan off in pursuit of him. Then, as Blitz had Death Ref lying prone on a table outside the ring and Chopper signalled for a Spinebuster on Gyula inside it, Banks ran into the ring. Chopper saw him charging towards him and used his momentum to throw him back out, but he’d forgotten Blitz was on the apron and Banks sent him crashing through the table, which I had nudged Death Ref off at the last second. Gyula and Cesar quickly capitalised with a Blood Sacrifice on Chopper for the win, and a bitter defeat for The Barracudas ahead of next month’s triple threat. It was our night again as I helped a pained Death Ref and Banks recover on the outside and Tatum raised Gyula and Cesar’s arms inside, except none of us noticed Two Badass MFers swiping the belts at ringside quick enough to stop them using the titles they once held as weapons to strike the champions in the head with. They retreated before we could get to them, saying from the top of the ramp that if anyone thought they’d politely go to the back of the queue, they were smoking stronger stuff than them, and hurriedly inviting a lively crowd to put their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW. This was quite a moment for the former champs after not being presented on these teams’ level recently. Oh, if you were wondering about the arguable main event plothole, why Hamuera didn’t come back for me, we published footage on our social media accounts after the show revealing that Wish, McReady and Mr. Pink had been tasked by me with barricading her in the locker room, deciding this was a more acceptably hardcore explanation than concussion protocol after her two earlier headshots.

Part 14: Symmetrical booking I hadn’t done it deliberately, but I’d noticed that every show we’d run so far this year had a striking parallel with the same event a year earlier. To The Extreme was establishing a tradition of Milton Hittlespitz being screwed in the main event, Hardcore Heatwave was an event where Ares Death Cult had won every title defence they’d ever participated in. Now, for the second year in a row, it was Blitz Simpson and Chopper Rourke v Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos headlining Blood And Guts, this time for the DIW Tag Titles. I actually had a few other mirror bookings planned for later in the year too, though those were intentional rather than these happy accidents. Two other contests were confirmed ahead of the show, also involving the title-rich Ares Death Cult. I had challenged Momoe Hamuera to a match, eager to avenge her attack on me last November, and Mr. Pink had been awarded a shot at Lloyd Banks’ Australian Title by Death Ref in recognition of him declaring his allegiance to Ares Death Cult and disowning Wrecker last month. Elsewhere, Milton Hittlespitz and Dexter Mattell would both be in action, Seth Wish and Con McReady were making their debut as a team and Rob Edwards had demanded time to address the subject of who his next DIW Title challenger would be.

Part 13: Surveying the scene It wasn’t just us shuffling our roster at the start of 2023. In fact, what we were doing was nothing compared to the activity of Athletic Empire, until now Oceania’s fourth biggest promotion, which left me wary of a talent raid. They signed eight people to exclusive full-time contracts in one weekend, having previously only given wrestlers show-to-show deals, and three of those recruits had held titles in top promotion Revolution Australian Wrestling: Rick Stantz, Cole Taylor and Maurice Jackson. The most optimistic reading for us was that they were only recruiting proven stars, but one of those contracts went to Gareth Case, from the ostensibly bigger Cutting Edge Wrestling. He wasn’t much more established than Blitz Simpson or Rob Edwards, so it was a concerning development. However, I was happy to see Shocking Hardcore Action react to us taking Con McReady off them by hiring DIW alumni Shotgun and Soul Burner. Firing people messed with my conscience, so it was reassuring to know their careers hadn’t ended the second I kicked them out of DIW, even if it was far from certain they’d get the money they’d been promised by their sleazy new boss Horrie Fowler. Going back to Edwards, I was catching up with The Comedian after Blood And Guts, and one thing I wanted to ask about was the possibility of signing the DIW Champion to an exclusive deal. He continued to work for New Era Wrestling and had lost his last four matches there. We were a bigger company, so it didn’t make much sense for our champion to regularly be seen losing in a smaller organisation. I hoped we now had the resources to act on that.

I'm looking forward to my first Last Man Standing Rumble, especially with you having told the backstory to the concept in such detail. It feels like you've managed to put together a stacked and fresh card around the big attraction and it seems like there will be no slowdown after either with the Memorial Cup already being built up as part of the show. I like how you used the Vibert's Voice format to provide background information on the big signing, and try to make sense of the narrative the game has created. I was also amused by the line poking fun at not sticking to the Canadian Chaos stipulation. Midcard titles are tough. It's nice symmetry that you're going to be posting the Rumble on Rumble weekend. It feels like you've built up quite a few credible winners. I'm leaning towards DuBois, but there's an easy out for him not winning with being first in, so I can't wait to read how it goes down.

Part 12: Class of 2023 Apologies to anyone who hadn’t read the diary of my first year booking DIW for making you wait 12 parts to run through the roster. I won’t keep you waiting any longer: DIW Champion Rob Edwards We were so lucky to have him as our champion: he’s so well rounded and a great bloke too. The Human Weapon was DIW Champion three times before on his own but, after struggling to reclaim his rightful place in 2022 made the shocking decision to align with Ares Death Cult. Tag Team Champions Gyula Lakatos and Cesar Sionis This was the original Ares Death Cult members’ record-equalling fifth reign. The European bruisers had been a constant presence at the top of the card since aligning with Death Ref and I, with Gyula even enjoying a seven-month reign as DIW Champion in 2022. Australian Champion Lloyd Banks The Barbed Wire Messiah was going nowhere until Death Ref identified his appreciation of human sacrifice as making him the perfect Ares Death Cult recruit in April 2022. He won seven of his next nine matches, beating Kobra Khan for our second singles title in December. The Barracudas (Blitz Simpson, Chopper Rourke and Vaughan) These three legitimately met in prison and had been a unit since. They had all held the DIW Title, five times in Vaughan’s case. Chopper and him were now a step slower, but Blitz was irrepressible, with his new Nasty Neckbreaker solidifying his status as our most over fighter. Milton Hittlespitz Crazy Blue had been a DIW fan favourite for 11 years, but it reached a crescendo in late 2021, driving him to a first DIW Title. He lost his first defence to Gyula in January 2022, regaining the gold in August, only to be denied again in December as Edwards joined Ares Death Cult. Dexter Mattell Raw Sex ended his nine-year affiliation with APW last July, joining us six months later and immediately targeting Milton, denying him a DIW Title rematch. This technical wrestler had a hardcore attitude and a mouth that had gotten him in trouble inside and outside of the ring. The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) The six-time APW Tag Team Champions became the first ever wrestlers to leave APW for DIW, reflecting the change in both companies’ fortunes. Rebranding themselves as The Benchmark, they had challenged DIW’s existing tag teams to step up to their level. The Wild Things (Seth Wish and Con McReady) Seth Wish started out as Milton-lite, defying his size to win matches and fans, but changed his attitude after losing the Australian Title to Kobra Khan in 2022, a self-inflicted wound in proposing a best-of-3 series and losing the final two. Newcomer McReady aligned with him. Kobra Khan The masked lightweight became a three-time Australian Champion in 2022 and main-evented Extreme Life, losing a DIW Title ladder match to Milton. He dropped his title to Banks in the final show of the year and followed up by losing his first two outings of 2023. Wrecker The 24-year-old found his calling as a vigilante in 2022, riding to the rescue of Mr. Pink after he was discarded by The Warriors. They became a regular team, achieving seven wins together, until Mr. Pink abandoned him during a Tag Title challenge at last month’s show. Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) How had these excellent workers and talkers fallen so low down the list? In December 2022, they were our longest reigning tag champs ever, unbeaten in over a year, but they hadn’t recovered from Ares Death Cult taking their open challenge and their titles, humbling them. Mr. Pink The masked bank robber thrived after being ditched by The Warriors, with his new Wrecking Crew team with Wrecker becoming our second best team. However, he left his partner to be beaten by Ares Death Cult, clearly spooked by Death Ref’s “with us or against us” threat. The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) The decision to dump Mr. Pink hadn’t worked well for his fellow masked bank robbers but, despite their limitations and losing records, their standing hadn’t really been diminished. Saracens (Cueball and Tank) This team were also cut from three to two in early 2022 when I let Shotgun go, and hadn’t achieved much as a duo. With new teams arriving, it was hard to see them climbing the card. Pat Rigsby DIW fans never tired of their resident troll taking a kicking, though after two particularly heavy ones against Edwards and Wish at the end of 2022, he hadn’t been seen for a while. Carl Paris The youngest roster member was still looking for his first win. He hadn’t shown enough to get the fans to rally behind him yet, but hadn’t been involved in any total duds either. And beyond our 24 full-time wrestlers… Lori and Death Ref (managers) My husband and I were Ares Death Cult mouthpieces and manipulators. I acted to ensure no man in DIW could touch me after The Barracudas put me through tables in February 2022, but nine months later they hired rugby international Momoe Hamuera to take me out. Momoe Hamuera (special attraction) The former New Zealand rugby forward annihilated me to help The Barracudas beat Ares Death Cult in November 2022. She was signed for two more appearances and, in my thirst for revenge, I invited her to Blood And Guts to participate in DIW’s first ever women’s match. Tatum Richards (referee) DIW’s referee was my best friend, Mattell’s partner and didn’t take crap from anyone. Lou Brookmyre (road agent) He felt like my chief critic when I started out as booker, resistant to new ideas after so long collaborating with my predecessor Big Jim Teasdale, but the rapport was slowly improving. The Comedian (owner) The only ever six-time DIW Champion retired in 2020 and now helped Lou with the road agent workload and me with business decisions. He still appeared on shows and remained a commanding presence, though I tried to use him fairly sparingly so he was always a big deal.

Thanks for the comment @AboardTheArk. You were right: that show was a 56, so one behind War Machine (the one with all the title changes). Yeah, with Two Badass MFers, I liked the idea of letting two already cocky blokes run the tag division on easy mode for a year to get even smugger, then suddenly be forced to question if they're as good as they thought. It probably wasn't great booking to tank the division for a year just to achieve that dynamic though. Part 11: The newcomers Dexter Mattell had been on my radar ever since leaving APW last July. He wasn’t a hardcore wrestler, on the contrary he was a technician, but he was a hardcore personality, which to me was more important. I saw him as an ideal antagonist for the likes of Milton Hittlespitz, and also thought we could turn his incongruous style into a positive, riling our fans by having him slow down scraps by locking in holds. While I liked him enough when playing the part of Tatum’s arm candy, I was pretty annoyed with the first impression he’d made in this new role on my roster. He didn’t give Milton the unreserved apology I thought he should have done to squash their heat, even turning up late to the meeting, and now Tatum told me he was annoyed I’d hired Donovan Boon. I’d put heat on myself to hire him because two of my top three blokes disliked him (Milton and Rob Edwards) and yet he was criticising the same recruitment policy. It all sounded like insecurity to me anyway. Boon was a bit of a flirt and Mattell didn’t like him trying it on with his friend Stephanie Drucker in APW, and now feared him having a crack at Tatum in DIW. Thankfully, I’d had no headaches from Con McReady, who I’d brought in as Seth Wish’s new ally to help solidify his recent character shift. McReady was a perfect fit for DIW in terms of his wild man persona and aggressive in-ring style. He was inexperienced, but his previous employer Shocking Hardcore Action rated him enough to crown him their King of Hardcore, a crown they curiously decided not to remove before he left them to start work with us. Boon and Rusty Mills were arguably our most eye-catching addition. I think it was the first time we’d ever hired directly from APW, and they were one of Oceania’s most decorated tag teams, holding APW’s titles six times to earn themselves the billing of The Duo. In truth, I was originally considering signing the company’s MMA pair The Kennedy Brothers. And yes, if we were publicising our inheritance from Alf Kennedy, I would have been tempted to push The Comedian to let me indulge in a little soap opera writing by introducing them as nephews of our dead benefactor trying to reclaim their family’s fortune. But they had a reputation for being selfish, so I was worried they might upset the locker room dynamic, which was ironic, given I had no such concerns bringing in Mattell, who did all that on his own. With the budget a little looser now than it was when I first put together my shopping list, I decided to set my sights a bit higher and swoop for the proven commodities. That was how I planned to present them too, renaming them The Benchmark to represent that they were standard bearers in tag team wrestling that every DIW team had to measure up to. Taking two of APW’s finest was also a small gift from me to the boss, giving him the chance to take a victory lap over James J McMinister, who used to revel in stealing our top stars when we were starting out and he thought that he could dominate Aussie wrestling. The thought had crossed my mind that taking Mills and Boon might cause APW to give the Kennedy Brothers more exposure, enabling us to bring in a more polished and mature team once The Benchmark had run their course, but time would tell. For now, we had four new faces who were a lot more accomplished than the four we’d let go, and who our fans seemed to have taken to during their in-ring debuts at Hardcore Heatwave. Trying to heat them all up without dropping the ball on long-term DIW stars and creating resentment would be tricky, but on balance it was a good problem to have.

Another red-hot opener, and I'm always a fan of a finish that progresses a story for the losers, as in my mind it takes the sting out of the defeat. For the same reason, I enjoyed Whippy getting plenty of shine before causing his own downfall. I admire your commitment to the principle of "good tag team beats two great singles guy, great tag team guy loses to good singles guy" as I think it's the right philosophy, but not always easy to deliver on, and yet you do. Two strong matches to close the show and a nice twist to use a spotlight like that with so many big names in the ring at once to deliver a surprise winner. Great that the post-main event angle outperformed the match. I'm always disappointed if the opposite happens as I feel like I missed a chance to send the crowd home on a high.