Just here to look

Oh my lord ok I decided I would take a rather large break from these forums… well didn’t decide I just kinda did and now I have a large amount of this to catch up on and go through. Good fecking grief. I noticed at the top of this page you mentioned the fact that I took a bit of a hiatus from my predictions, so that’s pretty much the only reason I’m actually typing this as its own comment instead of on the next predictiony thing. I’ll be caught up on this by… idk Sunday at latest.

Terrors beat stallions- you mean that Benoit? Fantastic beat Classic Era- I just kinda flipped a coin for this one Gilbert beats Hayes- Uhh there was one ECW diary a couple months back I think that had Gilbert as like one of if not the main guy that got stopped and couldn’t be continued for a reason I forget, and that’s why I’m picking Gilbert. Hogan beats Windham- I can see a story of Hulk started off bad but getting better later on. Heck, you could somehow make Hogan the underdog, two things which haven’t been put together in pro wrestling maybe ever. My counter argument for this is its Hulk Hogan ffs, that ain’t happening. Luger beats Takada- I’d prefer Takada winning, however Luger kinda went and did a face turn or something and it’d be good to build him up. Simmons beats Hansen- I like Simmons a bit more.

The Beard.

PS Lucha beat The Journeymen- your name is the journeymen. That doesn’t fill me with any confidence Johnny B Badd beats Z Man- not a whole lot to say Butch Reed beats Kevin von Erich- see above Cactus Jack defeats El Gigante- I think this is most likely. At worst, this is just what I want to happen. Ric Flair TLD with BVV- Hahaha yeah I cannot decide The Great Muta beats Bam Bam- I like Bigelow. I hope he does well. I mean I don’t think he will, but it’d be nice.

Giving the guy who’s paying to be here one of the hardest opponents first was always going to end this way. Saying that, while I did see this coming f**k off Scotty Flamingo you cocky cheating twat!!!

Gonna do some rather… interesting predictions here DDP beat Terry: I mean, yeah Horsemen beat True Grit: I mean, yeah (but this time, it’s tag teams!) Eddie and Konnan beat Samoan Swat Team: I feel like LCT is heading towards the top, though this is 60/40 in my eyes Flamingo wins via BS: do it. Do it you coward. Give this man the heat he should get. Rick Rude beats Dustin: I reckon Dustin could pull off some major upsets, and starting off the season with the reigning champion losing to a newly promoted side would be great TV. Sure, I don’t think it’s likely enough that I’ll vote in that direction, but I’m saying the possibility is there Sting beat Arn: 1PWFan has a good reason to vote Arn, however I’m going to go with the probably obvious pick, just to kinda feel it out. Also I just prefer sting and I’m going to be rather biased my predictions if I can be bothered to continue these.

No! The Arrows WILL win! (nah I’ll change it. Guess we just thought it was the finals for the season finale. Ah well.)

Dragonov wins, because MURICA(sucks)!!! Daniels wins, somehow. Might be through comedy, might be through him deciding to win. Damian Black wins because I like him Well well well. I have no clue who is in this match. I’m just gonna go and a limb and say Sting and Darby Allin win honestly idk. Vertigo vs Man With Dog. Surely you aren’t mental enough to make this a non finish, riiight? We’ll go Vertigo on this one. Hmmmm. Khubolov, sure. Marty Scurll will never win.

YES!!! MORE SILLY PTEROID WRESTLING BULLS***!!!

I’m saying Gordon over Spazic for the simple reason that we can’t have a Russian in Marty Scurll’s Ring of Unwanted Torment. 2Cool beats the Viking Raiders because I want to win the prediction prize and I have a crippling gambling addiction. Edge “defeats” Bogdan by virtue of Bogdan attempting to kill the bloke and the ref taking a dislike to that.

IDK if it’s because it’s almost midnight or if this is really as insane as I’m thinking it is, but I just blankly stared at this for 30 seconds after reading it.

Marty Scurll gets murdered to death by one of the guys I sent in. Im not saying who yet, but I’ll just say it’s the slightly older one, for a reason you reading this will never know. Edge picks Goldberg, Dragunov picks Vertigo, Russians win. Why? IDK I’m too tired to think about booking decisions and current storylines I’m choosing based on my limited brain power Oh for the tag match #DoverWinsLol

Before I read this diary, I didn’t know anything about Moolah other than they were really good at holding championships for stupidly long time. Now, I hate her with every fibre of my being. Well done with that characterisation that’s probably accurate. Who am I kidding, definitely accurate. This is so well researched that if it wasn’t accurate it’d at least be based on some rumour or event or something like that!

This AI stuff is brilliantly terrible. Either that or I’m somehow drunk after just waking up and never having alcohol in my life that it looks all weird.

Yeah number 2 seems good. 3 is (unfortunately) the most realistic, however I stopped expecting realism when I read the first few sentences of this diary. Give him hell. It pains me, but given that I assume this prediction thing was made after you did the show, and that you had big plans for Villain Enterprise, that his team will beat the Russians. Now beat the s**t out of him and hire a hit on him when you’re done. It’s Russia. Dragunov beats Goldberg. Goldberg physically must lose. I refuse (even if you wouldn’t die if you did make him win) that you would give it to this aged brick. Gorgeous Hennigan vs Vertigo Klaptsov. I‘m leaning to Vertigo via bulls**t that Hennigan will dispute in the next episode to overturn the result. And that is my prediction for this episode. I don’t expect “the mysterious benefactor” to do any… benefacting? What the hell is the word for doing something a benefactor does? As I was saying, I don’t expect to win, but if I do, you sure as hell bet I’m gonna find some random team from somewhere thousands of miles away from Russia.

From now on you may refer to me only as my proper title, “mysterious benefactor”. Jokes aside, ON WITH PREDICTING. BADLY. First up, Rasuev’s match. I predict that Seagal seems Rasuev as just a bit annoying, and so won’t set Kulakov on him just yet. I predict that Rasuev will win against… uhhhh, I don’t have a clue. Catherine the Great? The Arrows of Not Hungary will beat the Americans via DQ after Daniels gets flashbacks to ‘Nam and proceeds to attempt to kill one of them. Oh, sorry, I meant “The Nightmare” Vladimir Kulakov, not Vietnam. Cool visor man wins his match, though I don’t know who against. oh why was that typing in the quote section? Ah well. Nobody‘ll notice Goldberg gets his title shot, and Dragunov faces… GUNTHALTER? Look, one of these times it’s gonna be him. It just plain will be. Hennigan will be doing some promo work because that’s what he does for now, Goldberg is signing a contract, The Nightmare should be dead, Goldberg should ALSO be dead now that I think about it, and everyone else that anyone cares about is on the card. what the hell actually happened to this reply? There’s 2 quote sections in one, and I posted half of it… in one of the quote bits?

I did sorta lag behind on this diary for a time. I’ve not had as much time, and I’ve been looking at more diaries. Oh my god, this has been a great read. I have never really had much knowledge of wrestling in this era, and I had no idea of what Moolah was like. I was aware of the whole “spider lady” debacle, but little more. Simply put, I didn’t think she could commit ARSON and people just go “yeah, accurate”. The shows are interesting as well, I loved the Ascott story from beginning to end. You really do know how to write unlikeable characters! I definitely want to keep a closer eye on this diary from now on, because this read has been a great experience. Keep it up!

This is sheer insanity. I now want a real wrestling show held on a battleship. The fact that I can genuinely picture WCW doing this in their “all out writers are on crack” era and I’m not sure whether to laugh, cry (that I think WCW could’ve came to that) or cry (that it didn’t). The Shane Douglas and Carla part was also funny, and yet also genuinely sweet, and also genuinely terrifying. I absolutely love this diary. I love it so much that I’ve begun to regret calling myself “just here to look” because I’m sure as hell doing more than looking.

Match 1- Rasuev, mainly because they seem like an actual presence. Belyev doesn’t. Match 2- Vladimir Kulakov is going to murder William Goldberg the First, but it’ll be close. Ish. Match 3- Ilya Dragunov beats Edge because Edge isn’t Russian. I predict my stipulation because I always win. Oh, and for the international suspect, uhhh, I have a list of potential guys: -GUNTHALTER (either name works) because Ilya, and he’s not American, and if you want you can just make him pissed about the Berlin Wall specifically, nothing else. Just the Berlin Wall. - Moro, because everyone predicted it -William Regal, because he’s old and British - Drew McIntyre because he’s less old, and British - Pete Dunne, because he’s less less old, and unfortunately Butch - IDFK Rey Mysterio because he’s Rey Mysterio? Yeah GUNTHALTER seems the most likely. I lock in my vote.

YES!!!!!!! (Granted, I doubt we can get away with actual electrified ropes, but oh well, they’ll probably figure out how to fake it.)

Hmmmm. This sure will be interesting. I’m just gonna come up with it as I ramble. Now, I’m sure that some rather extreme options will be considered. For example, Hardcore, I Quit, Steel Cage, Steel Cage with an Angry Bear, and so on and so forth. However, (with the exception of the angry bear) all of these things have been seen many a time. Also, we can’t have it be bloody and brutal, think of the glorious Russian youth! However, do you know what the glorious Russian youth can be shown? Product Placement! And that is why i suggest the “Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Pitch Black Match!” “Hang on” ,you may say, “isn’t product placement capitalist and scummy?” And you’re right! It is scummy, capitalist and also stolen from the Americans, but it works you see? Also, I’m sure Steven would be really, and when I say really I mean really in double italics if that was possible, pleased. Also also, we want out youth drinking Steven Seagal’s health energy drink to make their bones stronger! So that they can [my lawyers have advised me not to finish this statement] in the future!

Time to win again because I’m cocky and cocky people always win. We know this. Match 1, The Nightmare will commit homicide on Rasuev. I mean Rasuev won’t win, that doesn’t support good communist values! (I am going to get arrested if I keep this up( Goldberg will beat Ivan “the Ivan” Ivan. How will they win? Probably with the built up anger of being called “Bill” in RFW, because I doubt you pay bills. And lastly, but certainly not least…ly, because it’s the main event…ly. I predict that the shock signing will win this fight, and that they will be… uhhhhh, well it has to be a big name guy… at least for this promotion. Uhhhh, I mean you are British… F**k it, wouldn’t it be a laugh if you got William Regal in there (I don’t even think he can wrestle in the game without modifications)? I mean you didn’t, obviously, but Miro seems too obvious. They win via being old.

I have to agree. That man has reason to be proud, that tractor looks brilliant! Anyways, onto more important (though less massive tractor-y) topics, this is still really, and I mean REALLY funny. You can tell I think that because I used italics, bold, underline, and even caps lock. Steven’s energy drink that might as well be brewed in Chernobyl, nobody noticing the sarcasm, and the sheer absurdity of this is what makes this true gold. In terms of what this means for the actual product, less car flipping bull**** is unfortunate, but it wasn’t unexpected. How do you decide on this stuff anyways? Do you just do what you think would be more fun, or do you have something like a spinny wheel of Russian interference which decides what ruins your life and when? And last, but the opposite of least, I AM A GOD OF PREDICTION! (time to be egotistical for no reason other than I just think it’s a laugh.) I shall not tell you whomst I’ve decided to push, but I can tell you that they are an unexpected pick, for reasons I shall not mention because you’d probably be able to figure it out! I don’t want you to figure it out! It’ll be funnier if you don’t figure it out! So don’t figure it out! what the hell am I on about anymore You understand? I don’t.

Vertigo def Bill Goldberg - OK HEAR ME OUT. Someone asked for you to push him, you said that’d start on card 4. Shenanigans will be in play. I’d say this’d be a good way to push someone, maybe you’ll give them a rematch next week in like a no DQ match or something, who really cares The Pitbull def The Other Ones- maybe, maybe not. No clue. Alen Khubilov def Tamerian Ruesuev- no idea Bryan Daniels and Bill Goldberg (nobody expects the double booking!) def Ilja Dragonov and the spooky Russian mask guy, you know the one, the one whose mask is plastered all over this brilliant s**tshow?

This is brilliant. This has made me laugh, made me intrigued as to what in gods name happened to this car, and made the part of my brain that likes cars cry. I have no words that don’t just ramble on for another hour, so I’ll leave it there.