Regis

Philippe LaGrenier vs Jack DeColt THIS! IS! DECOLT COUNTRY! Drake Young vs Ian Identity JOBBER! Sayeed Ali vs Mario DaSilva I'm so sorry, Mario. Zeus Maxmillion & Diablo DeVille vs Woolabonga Bogans The devil on Zeus' shoulder will get his halo one day. LMS Rumble Preview: Dan DaLay vs Dice Elderberry vs The Great Trickerion vs Shane Nelson vs Torque Because seriously, he's so big!

<p>I would have loved to watch this PPV. Sayeed getting his comeuppance! The Eternal Everyman getting the big victory he's been denied for so long! The return of Jack Bruce!</p><p> </p><p> Also, I'm fantasy booking a new Face team springing out of Express Delivery's Drones as they unionise and use the power of collective bargaining and extreme violence to take out their former employers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> Blockbuster & Express Delivery vs <strong>Jack DeColt, Skip Beau & The Great Trickerion</strong></p><p> <em>Skip interferes to cost Blockbuster the match, playing as a new anti-hero character who cheats to beat the Heels.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Zeus Maxmillion & Diablo DeVille</strong> vs Shane Nelson & DT Rush</p><p> <em>In the name of humanity Zeus will triumph, and his opponents will give the devil his due.</em></p><p> </p><p> K-Squared vs <strong>Ian Identity</strong></p><p> <em>I... don't have much to say about this one. Should be a reasonably solid match, though.</em></p><p> </p><p> and the road to Last Man Standing begins with an over-the-top-rope preview match:</p><p> Delivery Drone #2 vs Donovan Boon vs Drake Young vs <strong>Penfold Perdition</strong> vs Robin DaLay</p><p> <em>Crikey, chief!</em></p>

CGC World Title Match: Diablo DeVile vs Zeus Maxmillion For the power of humanity, for the goodwill he has borne for us, for Puny Mortal Stevie, for all the people of DeColt Country! CGC Tag Team Title Match: Lords of Vegas vs Express Delivery ED (hey, don't they have pills for that?) sneak out the dirty win. Ultimate Showdown Series: (9) Sayeed Ali vs Bobby Thomas (10) I am begging for the Eternal Everyman to finally get his big moment. I'll be in the front row cheering for you, Bobby! Ultimate Showdown Series: (5) Dice Elderberry vs Running Wolf (4) Dice is a flunky who can easily bully some undercard mooks to get his momentum back, Running Wolf is in the middle of a storyline. Ultimate Showdown Series: (7) Ian Identity vs Torque (4) Ian Identity, incapacitate this irritating imitator! Ultimate Showdown Series: (9) Blockbuster vs Skip Beau (3) Bye, Skip. I look forward to seeing your wacky hijinks as you try to get back onto the show! Also, Sayeed Ali is just the WORST.

(8) Blockbuster vs Ian Identity (6) This pick is wrong. I know it's wrong. But damn it all, I want Ian to win! (6) Sayeed Ali vs Dice Elderberry (5) Sayeed is just the worst, but it seems to be working out for him so far. Free Faith! (4) Running Wolf vs Torque (2) See ya, Mimic. (3) Skip Beau vs Bobby Thomas (8) The Eternal Everyman is on the rise. Delivery Drones vs Lords of Vegas & Woolabonga Bogans The eternal pains of the gig economy.

(4) Sayeed Ali vs Ian Identity (6) The East Side Assassin will be... INCAPACITATED. (1) Skip Beau vs Running Wolf (4) Skip just can't help himself, and he certainly won't be able to toppe this proud warrior. (5) Dice Elderberry vs Bobby Thomas (6) The Eternal Everyman, which should definitely be a name used for Bobby, can topple this foul-smelling corporate goon! (6) Blockbuster vs Torque (2) Will Torque find it in him to out-power the former champ? No. I think not.

CGC World Title Match: Hugh Ancrie vs Zeus Maxmillion Should be a good match, even if the outcome is not in doubt. Ultimate Showdown Series: Blockbuster vs Sayeed Ali Oh Sayeed. How the mighty have fallen. Ultimate Showdown Series: Bobby Thomas vs Torque Zeus is the main man, but Bobby Thomas is a firm favourite in my book. Philippe LaGrenier, Delivery Drone #1 & #2 vs Lords of Vegas & Ian Identity Unnamed drones, you say? Sounds like a chance to keep momentum going for the Face trio! Robin DaLay vs Mario DaSilva I love the artist, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it going the other way.

ZEUS! ZEUS! ZEUS! ZEUS! I loved that last promo. I'd been wondering what the justification for him coming back would be, and you didn't disappoint. It's classic babyface material, and I can't wait to see how Zeus pays back the Faces of CGC for their assistance. Also, Shane Stones clearly has superpowers. He's a wrestling referee with object permanence! CGC Tag Team Title Match: Lords of Vegas vs Express Delivery I love the Lords of Vegas and really want to cheer for their victory, but I don't think I'll get the chance just yet. Ultimate Showdown Series: (6) Ian Identity vs Running Wolf (2) I love Intrepid Ian the submission specialist, but Running Wolf has more of a plotline right now. Ultimate Showdown Series: (2) Dice Elderberry vs Skip Beau (1) Is Skip turning things around? I'm going to gamble and say that he is. Dan DaLay vs DT Rush You big, dishonest bully!

(0) Dice Elderberry vs Torque (2) Dice is big and strong, and that might be enough to run over the biker. (4) Sayeed Ali vs Skip Beau (-1) Skip might be the one to be exiled, it seems! (1) Bobby Thomas vs Ian Identity (6) Intrepid Ian is on a roll! Go, Ian, go! (3) Blockbuster vs Running Wolf (2) Will we see the tag team champions interfering on his behalf? Oh dear...

Ultimate Showdown Series: (2) Sayeed Ali vs Torque (2) Despite my initial prediction, I feel like Sayeed is the stronger competitor here. Ultimate Showdown Series: (-1) Skip Beau vs Ian Identity (3) I like the new Submission Master gimmick for Ian, let's see where it goes. Ultimate Showdown Series: (1) Blockbuster vs Dice Elderberry (0) Just a feeling, Buster's the big man on campus and Dice is just a minion. Ultimate Showdown Series: (1) Bobby Thomas vs Running Wolf (0) In keeping with my prediction of him to win the series overall. Bonus Match: Lords of Vegas vs Woolabonga Bogans Hard to say. But these dudes have been picking up wins lately, let's give them a shot.

WOOOOOOO! GO ZEUS! I am absolutely here for this title reign, and the new colour scheme that we will see. Ultimate Showdown Series: Blockbuster vs Bobby Thomas Blockbuster regains his cred after losing his title. Ultimate Showdown Series: Dice Elderberry vs Ian Identity The Intrepid one shows his chops now that he's back. Ultimate Showdown Series: Running Wolf vs Sayeed Ali I hate having my boy Sayeed lose, but Running Wolf has the more compelling story of the two. Ultimate Showdown Series: Skip Beau vs Torque This is a pure mark pick. I just want that awful cheat Skip Beau to lose! He's such a jerk, and he betrayed Jack DeColt! After everyone's fought their 7 matches, who do you think will win the Three Wishes? You know what? I'm going to take a punt on Bobby Thomas. The Man Among Monsters has been trying so hard for so long, it would be a real feel-good story if he finally makes it through. And who will be Exiled for 6 months? This is tricky, and I'm going to bet on a result that would make me sad: Sayeed Ali. I love the East Side Assassin, but he could probably benefit from a rework. Faith can acquire another terrible boyfriend to tide her over.

<p>CHAOOOOOOOOOS!</p><p> </p><p> Cage Match for CGC World Title: <strong>Zeus Maxmillion</strong> vs Blockbuster ©</p><p> <em>It's time! It's finally time! Go Zeus!</em></p><p> </p><p> Going Postal Match for CGC Tag Team Titles: Gear-Heads vs <strong>Express Delivery ©</strong></p><p> <em>Express Delivery have to win their speciality match.</em></p><p> </p><p> CGC Canadian Title Match: Skip Beau vs <strong>Jack DeColt ©</strong></p><p> <em>I am SO TORN. On the one hand, Jack is so far above this level and Skip cementing his Face turn by winning here would be great. But on the other hand, this is not Beau Country. I'm really looking forward to this!</em></p><p> </p><p> Ultimate Showdown Series Qualifier: <strong>Diablo DeVille</strong> vs Bobby Thomas</p><p> <em>This is a pure guess. Diablo DeVille is a cool character, and looking at the qualifying list so far it's alternating Faces and Heels, which is certainly a coincidence but it gives me the push to choose.</em></p><p> </p><p> Ultimate Showdown Series Qualifier Battle Royale: (No Participants Announced, who do you think would work well?)</p><p> <em>I want to see... Jack Giedroyc! He was cool in the last one! I want to see Ian Identity coming back and showing what his new gimmick is! I want to see DT Rush continue with his push! Any of those would be good.</em></p>

CGC World Title Match: DT Rush vs Blockbuster DT Rush puts on a good showing, but only a God can upend the Blockbuster now! Ultimate Showdown Series Exhibition Match: Sayeed Ali & Diablo DeVille vs Running Wolf & Bobby Thomas Pure guess, I just like the look of Running Wolf and want to support him. Winner Picks The Stipulation: Philippe LaGrenier vs Greaser Okay, how about this: GOING POSTAL IN A CAGE! Woolabonga Bogans vs Jack DeColt & Skip Beau This is DECOLT COUNTRY!

Sayeed Ali vs Zeus Maxmillion With help from his new friend, Zeus is able to get back on the path to the title. Skip Beau vs Donovan Boon Skip Beau won't win until he turns face and reunites with Jack DeColt. Ultimate Showdown Series Qualifier: Hugh Ancrie vs Torque Could be either, but I'm going to guess that Express Delivery are going to cheat to stack the series.

CGC Canadian Title Match: Rusty Mills vs Jack DeColt © This is not Mills Country. No.1 Contender's Match: DaLay & Son vs The Gear-Heads No Heel vs Heel matches on the PPV. Ultimate Showdown Series Qualifier: Dice Elderberry vs Shane Nelson Seriously, he's really big and really gross. K-Squared vs Hailey Hunter's Latest Find Because what would be the point otherwise?

CGC Tag Team Titles: DaLay & Son vs Express Delivery A Heel vs Heel match? I foresee shenanigans. Ultimate Showdown Series Qualifier: Julian Watson vs Running Wolf Effectively a random guess - I wouldn't mind seeing more of either of these men. Diablo DeVille vs Bobby Thomas Slowly pulling apart Blockbuster's support network prior to a title change. Skip Beau vs Rusty Mills See my prior prediction. Drake Young vs The Great Trickerion Let's keep the streak going!

<p>CGC Canadian Title: <strong>Jack DeColt</strong> vs Skip Beau</p><p> <em>Jack wins the Canadian Title, then the Tag Team Titles with himself, then the World Title to fulfil the ultimate DeColt Destiny!</em></p><p> </p><p> DaLay & Sons vs <strong>Woolabonga Bogans</strong></p><p> <em>Bogans get built as the next challengers for Express Delivery.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dice Elderberry</strong> vs Greaser</p><p> <em>I dcould go either way, but I remember Elberberry being the clightly stronger worker of the two.</em></p><p> </p><p> Drake Young vs Mario DaSilva</p><p> <em>Poor Penfold... but Mario is a true artist!</em></p><p> </p><p> Captain's Quarters with Guest Alex DeColt... but who will interrupt?</p><p> <em>Blockbuster! The champ will be heard!</em></p>

<p>Firstly, Holy Shit! Sayeed Ali taking out Zeus? Zeus being deaf? Jack DeColt losing his fire? What the hell is going on? We need a new generation! Just adopt someone, for crying out loud...</p><p> </p><p> CGC Tag Team Title Match: Express Delivery vs <strong>The Gear Heads</strong></p><p> <em>I could genuinely go either way on this, but I kind of feel like the title change should happen on PPV. But I've been wrong before.</em></p><p> </p><p> Skip Beau & Blockbuster vs <strong>Zeus Maxmillion & Bobby Thomas</strong></p><p> <em>I desperately want Zeus to win here!</em></p><p> </p><p> Malik Cash vs <strong>The Great Trickerion</strong></p><p> <em>He just picked up his first big W, so let's keep this rolling.</em></p><p> </p><p> Drake Young vs <strong>Penfold Perdition</strong></p><p> <em>I miss Ian... oh well.</em></p>

Firstly, of the House Show options I think I'd be more interested in seeing Show One. Good tag match, Ian Identity getting to work and an Adrian Garcia promo with a rock-solid Main Event. CGC Canadian Title: Chris Flynn vs Skip Beau © I'm willing to be sold on Chris Flynn, but I don't think Skip's gone yet. Sayeed Ali vs Zeus Maxmillion Much though I love Sayeed, Zeus is a god among men. Express Delivery & DaLay & Son vs Woolabonga Bogans & Gear-Heads This is a really hard one. Robin DaLay is the only weak link, so I'm tempted to vote for the Faces, but Express Delivery are doubtless setting up for a title challenge so I'll take a gamble on them. Great Main Event either way. Which WrestleFestival special guest do you want to see more of? Eric Tyler, Jack Bruce, Julian Watson, Lords of Vegas, Running Wolf or Shingen Miyazaki? You're tearing me apart, Self! Eric Tyler could be an excellent character to bring some Heels up to speed. Watson's berzerk rage seems like it might go somewhere. Running Wolf just looks like a fun midcard Face to play with. But in the end, it's gotta be Brucie. Love that guy.

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>DAN DALAY VS JACK BRUCE . . . B-</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> GO BRUCE GO!</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Poison peddling potion . . . C-</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO</p><p> BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO</p><p> BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>SHINGEN MIYAZAKI VS JULIAN WATSON . . . C+</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Ooh, interesting display from Watson. Him going berzerk makes me want to see more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>EXPRESS DELIVERY VS PINPOINT . . . D</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Sad to see Ian go, but hopefully by the time he comes back creative will have something for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>ADRIAN GARCIA VS JACK DECOLT . . . C+</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Wait... a C+ match from Adrian Freakin' Garcia? Momentum and Overness cover for a multitude of sins!</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Jack challenges Jack . . . A*</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> I am so here for this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>ZEUS MAXMILLION VS BLOCKBUSTER . . . C+</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> No, no, no! But we can't have everything we want. Eventually that Block's gonna get busted! I have faith!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> Jack Bruce vs <strong>Jack DeColt</strong></p><p> <em>Brucie may be the biggest name in Pro Wrestling, but THIS! IS! DECOLT COUNTRY!</em></p><p> </p><p> CGC Canadian Title: Running Wolf vs <strong>Skip Beau</strong></p><p> <em>I'm interested in how big a star Running Wolf is - but let's not hotshot the title too much.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Poison</strong> vs Bobby Thomas</p><p> <em>Hard work is meaningless next to the Power of the Potion!</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>DaLay & Sons</strong> vs Lords of Vegas</p><p> <em>I like DaLay and Sons as a team. Dan can always win, and Robin can always lose. It really gives an air of uncertainty to the outcome of any match.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Express Delivery </strong>vs Woolabonga Bogans</p><p> <em>I'm torn here. I'd normally put Express Deliver lower down the totem pole, but the Bogans just had a big loss and ED just had a big win. Let's set up ED as the next Tag Team Title challengers.</em></p>

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Self" data-cite="Self" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46917" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>This bummed me out for a few days.<p> </p><p> I can see how he reads as "aren't liberals bad, lol". I'll need to work harder in the future, as that wasn't the original intention. Booking plans changed. Some promos were written last minute. All just excuses though.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Wrestling is a... difficult genre when it comes to this sort of thing. Sure, Drake is an asshat who even the most right-on lefty would find annoying. He's a good Heel. But there's no good examples to contrast him with, and no easy way to put those examples in. Believing in things other than family, independence and Might Makes Right isn't cool in the world of pro wrestling.</p><p> </p><p> It's like the Nation of Domination, and the host of other Black Power Heels. I can think of a bunch of them, but almost no White Power Heels. In fact, Heels who start showing vaguely fascist tendencies seem to get really good fan reactions in a lot of places. Walter, Christopher Daniels when he was wearing his SS coat...</p><p> </p><p> Man, our hobby has a lot of problems. Still love it, though.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> Oh, and you're one of my favourite writers on this forum. You're a great promo writer. You do very interesting stories. Keep it up!</p>

CGC Canadian Title Match: Bobby Thomas vs Skip Beau vs Sayeed Ali © I've had a soft spot for Sayeed since '07/'08 4C, so I'll vote for him here. Pirates of the K-Rap-ean (K-Squared & DeArrrske) vs Two Mysteries From Las Vegas The first ever intergender tag match with the former stars of Babes of Sin City! Robin DaLay vs Chris Flynn Backstage fight, you say? Time to get jobbed! Drake Young vs Mystery From New Mexico Boy, I sure am excited to see this lazy parody of leftist thought continue to wrestle. Words cannot express how thrilled I am. Followed immediately by Night One of The DeColt WrestleFestival... CGC World Title Match: Zeus Maxmillion vs Blockbuster © Come on Zeus! You can do it! CGC Tag Team Title Match: Woolabonga Bogans vs The Gear-Heads © Let's make it happen! Going Postal Match: Dice Elderberry, Hugh Ancrie & Phillipe LaGrenier vs Ian Identity, Mario DaSilva & Penfold Perdition I love Pin Point Plus, but having the Heels lose the match that suits their gimmick would feel wrong. Dan DaLay vs Jack Bruce Eric Tyler is the difference-maker here. Adrian Garcia vs Jack DeColt Because seriously. Diablo DeVille vs Shane Nelson Pure guesswork, and the fact that I love the wrestling demon. Mystery Japanese Debt Collector vs Julian Watson Never bet against ????

CGC Canadian Title: Chris Flynn vs Sayeed Ali © I swear to god, if this turns into a plotline where the entirely predictable and conventional handsome jock saves a pretty girl from her dangerous 'Gangsta' boyfriend, I will be very disappointed. Skip Beau & Blockbuster vs Bobby Thomas & Zeus Maxmillion Skip eats the pin, but Blockbuster keeps looking strong. Phillipe LaGrenier vs Ian Identity Once again, I predict out of fandom rather than any reasonable expectation. Battle Royale to determine Jack Bruce's opponent at WrestleFestival Featuring... Dan DaLay, Diablo DeVille, Dirty Dice Elderberry, Donovan Boon, Greaser, Hugh Ancrie, Hugh DeArrrske, K-Squared, Poison, Robin DaLay, Rusty Mills, Shane Nelson, Torque and more... This is the equivalent of betting on ????

CGC Tag Team Title Match: Woolabonga Bogans vs Gear-Heads © The Bogans probably haven't got enough overness to deliver the results you need. But I might bet differently on the rematch. Poison vs Jack DeColt This is CGC. There's only one DeColt wrestling here any more. He does NOT lose like this. Express Delivery vs Pin Point Here I predict purely out of fandom. I like the slightly dopey underdogs of Pin Point. A fourth match! We all win.

Diablo DeVille vs Zeus Maxmillion This devil has no chance against a true god! CGC Canadian Title: Sayeed Ali vs Bobby Thomas © Much though I love Sayeed, Bobby is riding high right now. Hugh Ancrie vs Mario DaSilva I like Pin Point Plus, they're fun. DaLay & Son vs Hugh De Arrrske & K-Squared Robin still doesn't quite know how to deal with flippy-dos.

After re-reading your 2010 CGC diary, I decided to get back into this whole thing... and man, am I sad about 2016 CGC. Divorced Dad Jack with his midlife crisis moustache? My heart bleeds for him. But I do love your writing style, and the challenge of rescuing a crashing company seems fun. CGC Canadian Title: Bobby Thomas vs Skip Beau © Just a feeling - he'd certainly deliver the results you need. Express Delivery & Mystery Partner vs Pin Point & Penfold Perdition More in hope than expectation, I just like these three cheery dudes. DaLay & Son vs Woolabonga Bogans Fun though the Aussies are, DaLay and Son are monsters. Dice Elderberry vs Zeus Maxmillion HE'S BACK! THE BRONZED GOD IS BACK, BABY! Who should Jack Bruce fight at WrestleFestival? Blockbuster. I'm a rock star, Buster, but what you call music is just noise! It's time for this Classic Rocker to show you what showmanship really is!