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Giant Haystacks: A True British Legend


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I signed up to the boards about two weeks ago and immediately took an interest in the diaries section. At this point, hopefully without sounding too sycophantic, I would like to congratulate XoX on his Liger diary and DM on his Sabu diary. After all, it was these two excellent efforts that inspired me to attempt my own diary. Anyway, returning to the point of this thread, I have noticed a supreme lack of diaries involving British wrestlers. So, without further ado, I aim to rectify this and tell the story of one of my wrestling idols - Giant Haystacks (see avatar).
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The Background Forget Yokozuna. Forget The Big Show. Forget even Andre The Giant because this is Giant Haystacks, arguably the most famous and despised British wrestler of all time. Throughout the Eighties, British wrestling ruled Saturday afternoon television. Fathers, sons and even the occasional woman across the land sat transfixed as grown men in lycra threw themselves across a 20 foot ring in Wolverhampton. With his top hat, throne and legion of fans (including, apparently, the Queen), Big Daddy AKA Shirley Crabtree was the king of wrestling but his biggest adversary was the 6 ft 11 inch, 49-stone monolith known as Giant Haystacks. Giant Haystacks was born Martin Ruane in mid-1940’s London to Irish parents. Following early jobs as a builder and, inevitably, a bouncer, Ruane took up wrestling in 1967 but didn’t hit the big time until wrestling became Saturday afternoon TV fodder in the Eighties with a regular audience of over 10 million. Ruane’s wrestling career took him across the Globe – he was made an honorary citizen of Zimbabwe – and his fanbase is said to have included the likes of Paul McCartney and Frank Sinatra. He is reported to have maintained his strength with a daily breakfast consisting of twelve eggs and three pounds of bacon. When the wrestling work dried up in the early Nineties, Ruane started a successful debt collection agency, but opportunity knocked again in 1995 when he was asked to fight Hulk Hogan for the WCW Title in America under the moniker The Loch Ness Monster. However, the bout never took place as shortly after Ruane was diagnosed with cancer. Martin bravely fought the disease for two years before tragically dying, aged just 52, on Sunday 29th November 1998. I hope that this diary can, in a small way, pay homage to one of my biggest influences and a true wrestling legend.
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Beginnings of the game I would like to point out I am using the excellent DOTT scenario for this game. NB. Many people have written diaries with relatively unknown superstars. However, Giant Haystacks is already well known in the UK when I start this game. The fundamental aim is for Giant Haystacks to capture a major American title (eg. WWF) so that his fascinating character and undeniable charisma can be showcased worldwide. My starting overness is as follows: USA: 20 Canada: 45 Japan: 30 Mexico: 30 Australia: 85 UK: 88 My starting stats are as follows: Power: 84 Technique: 45 Speed: 12 Stamina: 56 Toughness: 95 Charisma: 85 Microphone: 57 Looks: 99 Respect: 66 Psychology: 56 Safety: 53
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Wow. Thank you for the opening comment; I really appreciate that. As for Haystacks? Great job picking out your character, I bet you could rock the world with Haystacks here. I'm really excited for this one, Even though I don't follow or think about wrestling in the UK, This one seems appealing to me. Have fun with this.
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Can't wait to see some of Britain's greatest battles relived... hey, and how about some USA vs. Britain matches? or Mexico vs. Britain? Hulk Hogan and El Santo... watch out!
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Week 1, August, 1983 I returned to my home in West London for the first time in two months. I had just finished filming 'Give My Regards To Broadstreet' with my good friend Paul McCartney and I was on a real high. On the advice of my agent I contacted Jerry Jarrett to see if I could find American exposure in CWA. A meeting was arranged and I flew out the next morning to meet with him. He was really nice and even introduced me to the Southern Heavyweight Champion and head booker, Jerry Lawler. After only 20 minutesof negotiation we struck a verbal deal. I would be paid $96 per appearrance for a year. [B]Monday - CWA All-Stars (TV)[/B] I had obviously made a big impact on Lawler because he said he would book me that night on TV. However, it was when I arrived at the arena I saw just how much he must have taken to me because when I read the card it said I was in the main event, teaming with him. There was a problem though - it was a table match, something I had never been exposed to in the UK. We fought the PYT express. I started out against Norvell Austin and got a good crowd reaction. He immediately went to punch me but I reversed it with a big Body Slam and kicked him several times in the back. We had reached the 10 min mark before long and I tagged in the King. The pop he got was unbelievable and he went to work on Norvell, who tagged out as soon as he could. King then unloaded countless punches on Koko B Ware. We dominated until the 38 minute mark and the crowd were going nuts! Lawler slid a table into the ring and then came over to me. "Have you ever put someone through a table?" he whispered and i shook my head. "Well, there's a first time for everything" he said and tagged me in. I delivered my trademark elbow drop to Koko and the crowd seemed to like it. I then picked him up and bodyslammed him through the table. It felt great! Match Rating: B Now that was a debut! :D
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Week 1. Contd. After the match Lawler booked me a room in his favourite local hotel, which was only 2 streets from the arena. He was even nice enough to show me the way. I thanked him and headed to my room. I realised i was gonna like it in CWA. Just before I went to sleep my agent phoned. I wondered how he got the number of the hotel but was too tired to ask. He told me that he got me a meeting with NJPW but if I took a job their it would mean leaving CSW because they ran shows on the same night. It was a no contest. I was sick of playing the Loch Ness Monster role in CSW and signing for NJPW would give me the chance to work with fellow countrymen like the Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy. I flew out to Japan the next morning and struck a deal with Inoki. He would pay me $160 per appearance for a year. I notified Stu Hart that I would be leaving his company and my Japanese career was underway. [B]Wednesday - NJPW Puroresu[/B] I generally prefer singles action to tag matches but alas Inoki booked me in the latter. I teamed with Hiroshi Hase to face Mike Sharpe and Black Tiger. I was, at least, glad that I was fighting Mark Rocco (Black Tiger) who is also from the UK because I thought our styles would be similar. UK represent, I started out against Black Tiger. He climbed to the top straight away but I rushed forward and threw him off. I kicked several times in the back picked him up and body slammed him back down. I kicked him a few more times then walked straight across his chest but did not get the pop I was expecting. Maybe I'm not suited to Japanese crowds. Black Tiger managed to escape a second Giant Chest Walk and tagged in Mike Sharpe. He threw a few punches but I was able to deliver a backbreaker and tag in Hase. He dominated Sharpe for about 8 minutes but seemed unable to finish him off so he tagged me back in. I tried to whip Sharpe but he reversed it and tagged out. I was able to avoid a flying double axe handle by Balck Tiger and slam him back into the corner. I then hit the Mountain Avalanche. 1...2...3 Match Rating: C My Japanese debut was not as spectacular as my American debut but I still won the match.
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Thursday, Week 1, August 1983 I finally returned to the UK on Thursday morning and drove up to Newcastle for Joint Promotions North Tour. It was good to be back in a country where they knew my name and booed ,loudly as soon as it was announced. [B]JPUK North Tour[/B] I faced Mike Marino in a regular match, which lasted 22 minutes. It progressed normally until the climatic ending. Marino was dominating me like no one other than Big Daddy had ever done. He hit the Roll-Through German suplex 1...2... my manager, George Gillette, broke the pin. Marino then picked me up and whipped me to the ropes, knocking the ref down in the process. I took full advantage and hit the low blow. I bodyslammed him and walked across his chest. The ref came to as I attempted a back breaker but Mike Marino was able to reverse. George Gillete was able to distract Marino and I hit the Giant Samoan Drop followed by the Giant Haystacks Elbow. I covered him 1...2... Big Daddy ran in and broke the count. Marino slipped behind me as I picked him up but I too slipped behind and slammed him into the corner. I delivered the Mounatin Avalanche 1...2...3. Match Rating: B-
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Friday, Week 1, August, 1983 NJPW, CWA and JPUK all had shows tonight. My agent recommended goint to Japan but after a somewhat dissapointing debut and an excellent UK homecoming I decided to stay in England and catch up on some sleep. [B]JPUK South Tour[/B] I faced Pat Roach in a 27 minute regular match. Once again the fight started normally but reached a climax. At the 22 minute mark Gillette distracted Roach and I locked him in the Atlas Bearhug... unsuccesful. I then landed a series of huge moves. First, the Giant Samoan Drop then I whipped him into the corner and hit the Mountain Avalanche. That was followed by a Big Splash and then a Giant Haystacks Elbow. I couldn't believe I landed all those moves! That was surely it - 1...2... Big Daddy interfered and broke the count. I was getting sick of that. Pat Roach avoided a kick to the gut and hit me with a knockout punch 1...2... George Gillette broke the count and was sent back to the locker room. Roach climbed the top rope and went for a Flying Double Axe Handle but I caught him in an Atlas Bearhug... Submission. Match Rating: B
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Saturday, Week 1, August, 1983 [B]JPUK World Of Sport[/B] Before the taping I discovered it would be Jackie Pallo and me facing Pat Roach and Big Daddy. I like to think I'm a nice guy backstage but I layed down the law to Pallo. I said he could take Roach but anytime Big Daddy's in the ring I want in. I was determined to pin Big Daddy. I started out against Big Daddy and no one landed a move for at least two minutes because there was a huge string of counters. I am pleased to say it was me who struck first with a body slam. The match went back and forth until Daddy tagged in Roach. I then tagged in Pallo. This was a different story Pallo wore down Roach in a matter of minutes until Big Daddy was tagged back in. I immediately blind tagged Pallo and again a back and forth affair ensued. Before long Gillette was banned from ringside for interference and Big Daddy had tagged Roach back in. Pallo immediately grounded him and applied a stepover wristlock. Roach submitted and I was furious. I really layed in to Pallo backstage because I didn't get the win over Big Daddy but when I think about it I was probably out of line. Match Rating: B-
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Week 2, August, 1983 On Sunday night I flew back out to Memphis for the CWA shows on Monday and Tuesday. [B]Monday CWA All Stars (TV)[/B] Lawler booked me in a tables match against Randy Savage. I reckon he did it delibrately as a joke because of our short in-ring conversation last week. It was an excellent match, a back and forth affair. We both hit several high level moves and it was a bloodbath. Savage cheated more than I do in JPUK and that's an impressive achievement. Anyway, just as I was going to bodyslam him through a table at the 32 minute mark he reversed and drove me through the table with the Savage Diving Elbow. I could b take it badly but fairplay to him he deserved the victory and at least the crowd enjoyed it. Match Rating: B [B]CWA Midsouth Coliseum[/B] I got booked in a tag match - Phil Hickerson and The Spoiler against Leo Burke and me. Just about everything in this match went wrong but I can safely say Burke screwed up more than me. He was pinned at the 24 minute mark in an average-poor midcard match. Match Rating: C Two losses in two nights - not so good. However, one was a tables match and in the other my partner was pinned. So I can, at least, say I haven't been pinned in seven matches.
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Wednesday, Week 2, August 1983 I had flown from Tennesse to Honshu on Tuesday night and arrived 7am local time on Wednesday morning. I wasn't looking forward to the event because I had previously chosen to work for JPUK over NJPW and my debut last week was nothing special. [B]Wednesday NJPW Puroresu[/B] This time, however, I got to face fellow countryman The Dynamite Kid. It was a good match but nowhere near a great match. There were few high spots other than a Giant Haystacks Elbow. I got the three count after fourteen minutes. Match Rating: C+
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Thursday, Week 2, August 1983 I Landed in London Heathrow on Thursday morning. It was a particularly arduous and boring flight. I was starting to consider leaving NJPW because of the constant flights between promotions. My morning did improve, however, when the waiter in the airport restaurant recognised me and asked for my autograph. It made me feel appreciated and I knew I was back home. [B]Thursday JPUK North Tour[/B] I got the best news of the year upon arriving in Newcastle. I would finally get my one on one shot at Big Daddy and it was for the Great British Heavyweight Title. I immediately delivered a Giant Suplex to Big Daddy and stomped on him repeatedly. I was really fired up. I then Bodyslammed him and went to work. At the 6 minute mark he began to come back and delivered a series of Bdyslams and Backbreakers. He continued to have the upper hand until the ten minute mark when he was distracted by George Gillette (god bless heel managers). The ref was then knocked down so I scored a Low Blow. That gave me a definite advantage. I hit a Mountain Avalanche in the corner, followed by the Giant Haysplash and just as the referee regained conciousness I locked him in an Atlas Bear Hug.... Submission! Match Rating: C+ Although the match wasn't great it was solid and I got a win over my arch rival. In addition I became the new Great British Heavyweight champion. The Giant Haystacks Era has begun!
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Giant Haystacks was my opponent in my tryout match for WCCW and he pounded the heck out of Texas Red (AKA Mark Callous/Mark Callaway) before exiting the cage. Good luck in getting the US overness up enough so that you can get the chance to enter WWF. Maybe you should get into WCCW because I believe that it is bigger than CWA and it may give you more of a chance of increasing the overness in the US.
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Friday, Week 2, August 1983 As always on a friday I had shows scheduled in Japan, England and America. I decided to fly to Tennesse and work for CWA. I had lost my previous two bouts in this promotion and was determined to show them that Giant Haystacks is no jobber! It was good to be back in Memphis, though. They make a really nice breakfast in the Blues Cafe. [B]Friday CWA Renegade Rampage[/B] I was billed to face 'The Anvil' Jim Neidhart and in total the match lasted twenty two minutes. The first ten minutes belonged to me. I wore down Neidhart with bodyslams, backbreakers and stomps. I also walked across his chest a few times, which is rather staisfying :D . However, in the eleventh minute Jim mounted an impressive comeback. This lasted for a good ten minutes until I was in serious trouble. In the twenty second minute I countered a punch attempt into a bodyslam and hit the Giant Haysplash 1...2...3! Match Rating: B-
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Saturday, Week 2, August 1983 My flight landed into Gatwick this morning. That was a real pain because it meant I had further to drive. But anyway, it was time for my favourite show of the week... [B]Saturday JPUK World Of Sport (TV)[/B] I entered my first match as Great British Heavyweight Champion to face Brian Maxine and Amazing Kung Fu in a seventeen minute tag match. My partner was Jon Cortez. I was on fire and never tagged in Cortez. I pummeled away on Amazing Kung Fu until he was forced to tag out. I then slammed the breath out if Brian Maxine for five minutes and hit the Giant Haysplash 1...2... Big Daddy broke the pin (I swear I'm going to tweak that guy). Maxine tagged Kung Fu back in, who actually mounted a decent attack. However, Gillette distracted him and I hit the Giant Samon Drop 1...2...3. Match Rating: B-
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Stat update After two weeks of compelling diary writing (I hope :) ) I thought I'd give a progress report. [B]OVERNESS[/B] USA: 23 (+3) Canada: 45 (no change) Mexico: 30 (no change) Japan: 35 (+5) UK: 90 (+2) [B]STATS[/B] Power: 84 (no change) Technique: 47 (+2) Speed: 14 (+2) Psychology: 67 (+11) Stamina: 56 (no change) Toughness: 96 (+1) Charisma: 85 (no change) Microphone: 57 (no change) Safety: 55 (+2) Respect: 67 (+1) Looks: 99 (N/A)
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Monday, Week 3, August, 1983 I arrived in Texas at 10am local time for a meeting my agent had arranged with Bill Watts. Watts came across as arrogant and obnoxious but that didn't stop me from signing a year long contract for $80 per appearance for MSW. After all, I need American exposure. I then travelled to Memphis. [B]Monday - CWA All-Stars (TV)[/B] In the locker room Ken Timbs was nice enough to give me some mic skill tips whilst I was checking the card. In the opening bout I faced Rick Steiner in a ten minute match. There were very few high spots other than Toji Yamamoto (Steiner's manager) being sent to the back for repeated interference. In the tenth minute I reversed a punch attempt into an Atlas Bearhug and got the submission. Match Rating: C+
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Tuesday, Week 3, August 1983 I arrived at the arena nervous because this was the largest US promotion I'd worked for. When I saw the card I was excited. Not only was I in a midcard six-man tag match but they'd also given me 5 minutes microphone time. [B]Tuesday - Mid-South Wrestling (TV)[/B] Curtis Iaukea came out to challenge my mic time. I seemed to do pretty well despite my limited experience. I threw in some basic insults and puns and included some toilet humour that the crowd seemed to like. After five minutes the crowd seemed more interested in me that Iaukea. The six-man tag match lasted twenty six minutes. I faced Terry Taylor, Krusher Khruschev and Dennis Condrey with the help of Bubba Rogers and Jesse Barr. It was not full of high spots but there were many tags and a lot of finishing moves. After Barr wore him down I made Taylor submit with the Atlas Bearhug. Match Rating; B Now that was a succesful show!
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Wednesday, Week 3, August 1983 Both MSW and NJPW had shows tonight and seeing I was already in America I stuck around for... [B]Wednesday - Mid-South Swamp Run[/B] I faced my partner from last week, Big Bubba Rogers. Bubba started by locking me up in a collar and elbow tie up, which I was able to break. I theen challenged him to a test of strenght, which I easily won. In the tenth minute Bubba busted me open with a vicious DDT. I returned the favour in the twelfth minute by busting him open with an exposed turnbuckle smash. I missed a Giant Haysplash and he went for the pin but I was able to roll the shoulder. I then locked him in the Atlas Bear Hug... Submission! Match Rating: C+
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