EWA: Why No One Cares About Wrestling In Europe

[Comradebot]

[QUOTE=lazorbeak;469770]I just read this, and I love it. I'm actually using Khoklov in my diary as a legit monster, so it was great to see him as a comical stereotype who HATES CAPITALISM. He needs to quote Dolph Lundgren more. "I win for me. FOR ME!" "I must break you!" "If he dies, he dies," and etc. In fact, if there's a way for me to incorporate the style and gimmick you used with ass-kicking in the ring, I'll do it. I also smile that your segment of the night was a flex-off.[/QUOTE] DAMNIT, you're on to me! There ARE Dolph Lundgren lines coming up. In fact... in my game, the storyline is named... wait for it... wait for it... [B]I must BREAK YOU![/B] It really is an amusing feud, as Bam Bam Johansson and Marat Khoklov are both developing into two of my favorite characters, along with Puffy the Sand Iron Player who will give a short promo in the upcoming show. And yes, Bam Bam is basically just a bad knockoff of Brucie of GTA4 fame, but seeing as how Bam Bam is a reformed steroid user it seemed like it'd be a good fit for some comical goodness. Which is a goal of mine in EWA. I'm a USPW fanatic at heart and I see in EWA the potential to bring that... er... "unique" style overseas, and then mix it with a little more risk than USPW while maintaining the general nostalgic, over the top cheesiness of it.

[Phantom Stranger]

Push the Breeze! Entertainment skills and an ability level that saw me give him four title runs (thus far) in five years tenure with a pure wrestling fed.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"]EWA European Wrestling![/COLOR] [/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I]In Lubuskie Arena, April Wednesday Week 4, 2009[/I] [B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RobertoMilano.jpg[/IMG] Bam Bam Johansson vs. Roberto Milano[/B][/CENTER] [I]Milano entered the ring still wearing a very expensive looking suit, which even Bam Bam mentioned “was pretty Alpha”. Unfortunately for Roberto, Bam Bam proved that Milano is at best a Beta. Despite his well honed technical ability, Roberto Milano didn’t prove to be much of a match for the larger Johansson, who bounced him around the ring with shots stiff enough to kill most men. After all, all the technique in the world won’t save you from an ass kicking courtesy of “The Alpha Norwegian”. A bone shattering Spinebuster from Bam Bam Johansson allowed Johansson to get the pin WHILE flexing. Bam Bam Johansson defeated Roberto Milano in 6:08 by pinfall with a Spinebuster.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Bam Bam Johansson [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Tag.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JedHigh_alt3.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG][/B][/CENTER] [B][CENTER]The Soviet Union vs. The Force: EWA Tag Team titles[/CENTER][/B] [I]Once again, the fans showed no mercy to Boris Kiriyakin the moment he stepped onto the apron. How such a unique worker can be so heavily hated is unknowable, though its likely some form of jealousy over his hat. The currently feuding members of The Force did little to help themselves in this one, especially Jed High who willingly allowed Toby Juan Kanobi to be double teamed repeatedly. Eventually, Jed High even attacked his partner and left him in the ring with Boris Kiriyakin… but in the process tagged himself in by mistake. Jed High would then inadvertently hit the Sky High on Boris and accidentally get the pin, keeping him and Toby the champs for another week. The Force defeated Soviet Union in 4:33 when Jed High defeated Boris Kiriyakin by pinfall with a Sky High. During the match we also had Jed High turn on Kanobi. The Force make defence number 1 of their EWA Tag Team titles.[/I] [B]Winners:[/B] The Force [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [I]Ear-bleedingly bad, and overly epic Greek music rapes the ears of all present in Lubuskie Arena, and Spiros the Mighty graces us with his presence.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] HARK and give heed good people of the northlands, as many have brought inquisitive words to my ears over the events of last week. Do not cast judgment so hastily, as Lord Zeus would cast his lightning. The villain of this tale is not this humble servant of the Gods standing before you, but the man from the west! The man they call Louis Figo Manico is the one who the stones should be cast for! His lies and deceit now continue to taint the EWA Universal title… the Gods are not pleased and their wrath shall be incomprehensible unless I... [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]“Conquistador” by Theatre of Hate interrupts Spiros’s mad speech about the Gods, and Louis Figo Manico makes his way into the ring, grabbing a microphone along the way.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Allow me to understand this Mr. Spiros the Mighty… You expect me, and the intelligent fans of the EWA, to pretend like I’m the bad guy? For what reason would this really be, my main man? Would it be to please your fictional Gods from three thousand years ago? Or perhaps you feel guilty and would rather someone else take the blame for your cowardly, DISHONORABLE actions?! [COLOR="Lime"][B]Spiros:[/B][/COLOR] He is a liar and a charlatan! The three-headed Cerberus in a three-headed sheep’s clothing! [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Listen to yourself, my main man! Either your words have fallen into unfathomable madness, or you’re using them to cover your own selfish motives. Are you not a man? I shall defend the EWA Universal title tonight, but it will be against a man whose own sanity and goals are not so easily cast over by a shadow of doubt. [I]Louis Figo Manico drops his microphone and heads back out the entryway, leaving a furious Spiros in the ring.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GregGauge_alt1.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Puffy.jpg[/IMG] Greg Keith vs. Puffy The Sand Iron Player: EWA Grand German title match![/B][/CENTER] [I]Greg Keith took an early advantage in this one, easily out grappling Puffy. Puffy finally managed to free himself from one of Keith’s many sophisticated looking holds and delivered a rapid fire volley of punches to back him into the ropes and then clothesline him out of the ring. Out here it was Puffy’s element, and he proceeded to use everything from the announcer’s table, to the metal barrier, the ring itself, and anything else that wouldn’t get him disqualified. Satisfied that Keith had learned his lesson, Puffy rolled him back into the ring and hit the Under Par (think Edge-o-matic) and picked up the pinfall. Puffy The Sand Iron Player defeated Greg Keith in 6:27 by pinfall with an Under Par. Puffy The Sand Iron Player makes defence number 1 of his EWA Grand German title.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Puffy the Sand Iron Player [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B] [I]Puffy The Sand Iron Player doesn’t have time to celebrate, as mere seconds after the match Ruud Van Anger walks out onto the entry way.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Puffy.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [COLOR="Orange"]Ruud Van Anger:[/COLOR] Hey PUFFY!!! Congratulations, you MANAGED to beat the American, all while wearing an OUTFIT purchased at Douches R’ Us. But you know what makes me… *with the crowd* ANGRY?! The fact that you gave that Bush loving Yankee a shot at the belt before ME! How about you face someone from a REAL COUNTRY? [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D-[/B][/COLOR] [I]An overly awesome ****ney accent, indeed Billy Idol sounding cool, flows from Puffy The Sand Iron Player’s mouth.[/I] [COLOR="Green"]Puffy:[/COLOR] Right then mate, you want a shot at this old belt then do ya? Well bloody aye, I’m always up for a round of the ol’ fisticuffs. But I think I should warn ya first ya arrogant sod… about the game of golf. Ya see, more people every year die playing golf than in other sport. And it ain’t because of lightnin’ like most blokes think… it’s because they ask Puffy the Sand Iron Player if they can play through! You’ll get your match, Ruud, but don’t be expectin’ a mulligan from me. [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D[/COLOR][/B] [I]A plethora of Japanese people mysteriously show up and run out of the entry way screaming “GODZILLAAAA!” The crowd knows better than to heed the warning of these likely tourists, as it is not a giant fire breathing lizard lumbering into the arena, but Marat Khoklov.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Khoklov is angered by ignorant fat cat pigs! Strongest man in EWA is Khoklov, biggest muscles are Khoklov’s, and fans show ignorant hate! They show Khoklov typical capitalist fear towards superior Russian, and give undeserving little man victory in contest of the flexing! But Khoklov has plan, yes? Khoklov go home and read from Communist Manifesto and realize a new contest must be held… contest equal for both competing members of proletariat! So Khoklov come up with his plan. Bam Bam Johansson, you and Khoklov shall have a test of strength contest now, yes? [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B] [I]A dual roar of motorcycle, followed immediately by the audience, echoes throughout the arena as “The Alpha Norwegian” Bam Bam Johansson rides his way down to the ring with Geena the Warrior Princess sitting behind him. Geena grabs the microphone while Bam Bam heads over to the side of the ring to flex for the crowd.[/I] [COLOR="Sienna"][B]Geena:[/B][/COLOR] Please, Khoklov, you really think you’re stronger than Bam Bam Johansson? Do you really believe you can match muscles with “The Alpha Norwegian” after your crushing defeat last week? [COLOR="DarkGreen"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR] You’re just a Gamma, bro! INTENSE! [I]*goes back to flexing*[/I] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Khoklov does not fear puny capitalist! Khoklov shall crush him… for the Motherland! FOR LENIN!!! [B][COLOR="Sienna"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] Have it your way Marat… but you’re just about to show the world how much more of a man Bam Bam is than you. [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C[/COLOR][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MissInformation_alt02.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/NinaTheBallerina.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AnnaKi.jpg[/IMG] Miss Information vs. Nina the Psycho Ballerina vs. Anna Ki: EWA Female title[/CENTER][/B] [I]The fans have recently grown bored with virtually every singles matchup the Women’s Division can offer, so EWA decided to see what the crowd though of a three-way… ba-zing. Nina looked mostly hopeless in the match, as her attempts at brawling were quickly countered by her two more technically minded opponents, and mostly served as a good excuse to stop Anna Ki and Miss Information from keep holds locked in indefinitely. Finally Miss Information tossed her out of the ring, only to spin around in a Ki-D-T from Anna Ki, who got the pinfall and ended the lackluster bout. Anna Ki defeated Nina The Psycho Ballerina and Miss Information in 7:58 when Anna Ki defeated Miss Information by pinfall with a Ki-D-T. Anna Ki makes defence number 6 of her EWA Female title.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Anna Ki [COLOR="red"][B]Rating: D-[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MarkStanford.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Anna Ki takes a few moments to celebrate with her title before Mark Stanford enters the ring and escorts her out. How chivalrous of him.[/I] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Ladies and gentlemen, we here at the EWA are pleased to announce that a second contest will be added to this year’s annual Flex off, which is now known as the EWA Strong Man Contest. Tonight, we will see the second event… the Feats of Strength! Like the Flex Off, we have randomly selected on lucky member of the roster to participate as judge, and the winner is… wow, what a surprise! LOUIS FIIIGO MAAANIIIICOOO!!! [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] “Conquistador” plays for the second, and not the last, time tonight while Louis Figo Manico walks to the ring with a puzzled look on his face. [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Wow, randomly selected from a roster of thirty-four twice in a row… guess I’m just a very lucky man. Of course, anyone who gets to wrestle for the EWA fans is a lucky person! *cheap pop* [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]That ultra-intense Russian music plays and a couple more Japanese people flee the backstage (what are they all doing back there, anyway?) and Marat Khoklov lumbers down to the ring. Shorty afterwards, Bam Bam Johansson’s motorcycle races down to the ring at roughly 50mph, with Bam Bam flexing the whole way instead of keeping his in a safe steering position. Both men go to opposite corners and start stretching. Marat attempts to convince referee Patrick Garrett to rub oil on his back and give him a massage… and he reluctantly accepts. C’mon, you know you’d want to touch the muscles of a man who can bench press a nuclear missile! In the meantime a swarm of roadies who all failed to be hired to carry Depeche Mode’s synthesizers begin to fill the ring with the various different enormous objects the two competitors must lift, including a mint-green Buick Skylark, some generic weights, a boulder, a zebra, an obese German couple (who possibly own the Skylark), and Peyton Manning’s ego.[/I] [B][COLOR="darkred"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] The rules are as follows: One man will choose an item and attempt to lift it. Afterwards the second man will have to prove he can lift the same item. If both contestants succeed, the second man will get to choose an item. If either man fails to lift the item clearly over his head, then he loses. Since Marat Khoklov went first in the flex off, Bam Bam Johansson will choose the first item. [I]Bam Bam Johansson takes off his sunglasses in a very Caruso-esque manner and surveys the items. He proceeds to the obese German couple and wraps a muscular arm around each and without hesitation heaves them both skyward. The crowd cheers and the slightly larger husband claps before tossing a large chunk of fudge into this gullet.[/I] [B][COLOR="darkred"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] A successful lift from Bam Bam Johansson! Marat, lift the Germans! [I]Marat Khoklov heads over to the German couple, who deliver a hateful stare to the Commie. Marat forcefully snatches both of them and hoists them above his head for a successful lift before tossing them rudely out of the ring… causing both of them to spit up chocolate onto the mat.[/I] [B][COLOR="darkred"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] No worries, the janitor will clean that up before the next match. Marat, choose the next item! [I]Marat Khoklov chuckles and immediately heads over to the Buick Skylark. Puny American vehicle is no match for KHOKLOV! And he proves his point by heaving it straight up and over his head. Bam Bam is no slouch with the Buick either, and manages to lift it even FASTER than Marat did, much to the audience’s pleasure.[/I] [B][COLOR="darkred"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] There’s a bad pun somewhere in there with the Skylark being lifted so high… [I]Louis doesn’t have enough time to even ask Bam Bam Johansson what he wants to lift next, as Bam Bam is already heading straight for Peyton Manning’s ego!!! Crowd members start going completely nuts as Bam Bam kneels down and starts to lift the monstrous ego. Marat looks around the arena in complete shock before finally pointing into the stands![/I] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Hey look, Khoklov sees distraction! [I]Louis Figo Manico falls for it, as does the entire arena. Khoklov takes advantage of the distraction and kicks Bam Bam in the back of the knee, causing Peyton Manning’s ego to come crashing back down to the mat! The sound catches the ear of Louis Figo Manico who sees the fallen ego![/I] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Bam Bam Johansson has failed to lift Peyton Manning’s ego! Marat Khoklov wins! [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] Marat attacked me, he used that Red Army scratch* to cheat! [I]Bam Bam’s pleads seem to be in vain as Louis has already made his final judgment. Marat cheers while the Soviet flag waves on the Euro-tron.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B+[/COLOR][/B] (possibly the best segment in EWA history… is Bam Bam and Khoklov lifting things?) [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/DannyPatterson.jpg[/IMG] Byron vs. Danny Patterson[/B][/CENTER] [I]Byron pranced out to the ring in a rather feminine manner, looking very ****y before the match even began. Danny Patterson put an end to his ****y attitude roughly two seconds after the bell ring by devastating Byron with a big… umm… big boot. Byron was obviously not prepared for this one and Patterson, like a dog, could smell the fear brimming out of him. Byron initial strategy of “throw wild punches” seemed to have little effect on the “Tower of London”, who crushed the former champion back to earth with ease. Looking to finish the match and get the massive upset, Danny Patterson clamped his hand around Byron’s well-tanned throat, looking for the Choke Slam. Byron dug deep to find a counter… but not in a metaphorical means, but actually dug deep… into his pants… where he had a pair of brass knuckles stashed away! Byron clocked Danny Patterson in the temple with them and put them away before the referee had a chance to see them. Byron made the quick cover and got the three count![/I] [I]Byron defeated Danny Patterson in 7:49 by pinfall after using a foreign object.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Byron [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D[/COLOR][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/WhiteKnight.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] White Knight vs. Louis Figo Manico: EWA Universal title match[/CENTER][/B] [I]The star of the “Muscle Cruncher” fitness videos looked to crunch the champ for the belt, delivering a multitude of stiff strikes to Manico, including some never before seen in Europe! Louis Figo Manico was forced to go on the defensive, but this played right into his hand as soon he was reversing everything White Knight could sling. White Knight attempted a powerbomb, only to have Louis Figo Manico flip over him into a beautiful roll-up pin! But only a two count! An angered White Knight rushed to his feet, only to be planted back down with an Exploder Suplex! White Knight attempted to rush back up again, but his body refused to regain its balance entirely, and Manico took advantage. A boot to the gut, a hook of the arms, and Manico flipped Knight over to hit the Madrid Maul and pick up the win! Louis Figo Manico defeated White Knight in 12:46 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul. Louis Figo Manico makes defence number 11 of his EWA Universal title.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Louis Figo Manico [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Louis Figo Manico stands to raise his arm in victory, but is knocked flat on his face from a chair shot by Spiros the Mighty who came charging out of the crowd! Spiros lands two more sickening strikes onto Louis Figo Manico’s back and tosses the chair off to the side. Spiros lifts Manico from behind… and hits a Spartanplex (Dragon Suplex) right onto the chair! Louis screams out in pain, and the crowd boos Spiros as the show ends.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [B][SIZE="6"]Show Rating: [COLOR="red"]C[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [I]*Scratch was once used in a censored TV version of Lethal Weapon as a means to cover up a vulgar synonym for feces, as in “I don’t know scratch”. Also, the F-word was replaced with “flock”, as in “let’s get the flock out of here.”[/I] OOC: A solid show, though I was hoping Byron and Patterson could've performed better than a D. Of course they did follow the Feats of Strength, which is living proof of how one can push two men based purely on their muscle mass. Still, both of my two major feuds at this point are shaping up very, very nicely.

[Hyde Hill]

Nico show, very entertaining and crisp write up. Altough I think the vast majority of Europeans wouldn´t have a flocking clue who Peyton Manning is. Go with real football (,aka soccer<- dirty word for an European lol,) players in the future I´d suggest hehe.

[Comradebot]

[QUOTE=Hyde Hill;470392]Nico show, very entertaining and crisp write up. Altough I think the vast majority of Europeans wouldn´t have a flocking clue who Peyton Manning is. Go with real football (,aka soccer<- dirty word for an European lol,) players in the future I´d suggest hehe.[/QUOTE] Yeah, alot of the "Peyton Manning" thing has been on my mind since I posted this. Its true, I should've gone with a an egotistical European if I did this, and I didn't. Also, looking back... its just kind of a silly idea in general, and probably a bit too over the top. The idea is that it was just a large box labeled "Peyton Manning's Ego", but that idea didnt' seem to translate over as well as I hoped. All in all, I did enjoy my own show. Just that one little part stands out as being... off. In the future I'll try to keep segments like this a tad closer to reality.

[Hyde Hill]

No it translated pretty well and was funny man just the guy you chose is a bit of an unknown in Europe.

[lazorbeak]

Marat and the Alpha Male lifting things should headline every show, all the time, ever. For their next contest, I would include children's letters to God, a classical Greek statue, salvaged copies of ET for the Atari, a work of modern art, and a big fat wrestler. While I'm on the subject of Greek statues, I think it should be revealed that Spiros the Mighty receives his divine information from a disembodied, oversized Zeus head that should look as fake as possible.

[Comradebot]

HAH... sadly, the third contest has already taken place... though I'd love to see those piles of ET Atari games.... Which... get this... I have a copy of!!!! It's technically broken, but all it requires would be for me to switch that part from any other Atari game in put it in the ET game's place. Of course... why would any do that?

[Purple Cowboy]

Nice card, I especially liked this line: [quote]He is a liar and a charlatan! The three-headed Cerberus in a three-headed sheep’s clothing![/quote] :) I love the Force having internal troubles (I'm a tag-team fan ;) ) and Figo & Spiros is shaping up well!

[mistaken]

nice show keep up the stellar work!

[Tigerkinney]

[QUOTE=Comradebot;470393]Yeah, alot of the "Peyton Manning" thing has been on my mind since I posted this. Its true, I should've gone with a an egotistical European if I did this, and I didn't. Also, looking back... its just kind of a silly idea in general, and probably a bit too over the top. The idea is that it was just a large box labeled "Peyton Manning's Ego", but that idea didnt' seem to translate over as well as I hoped. All in all, I did enjoy my own show. Just that one little part stands out as being... off. In the future I'll try to keep segments like this a tad closer to reality.[/QUOTE] Enjoyed the show, as for the ego quote, I would suggest replacing Peyton Manning with Cristiano Ronaldo.

[Hyde Hill]

LOL we think alike I was going to suggest him too but I thought it better to let Comradebot make up his own mind as his stuff so far has been pretty darn good. PS i expected Jeltsin´s daily alcohol consumtoin or something ruskie lol.

[Comradebot]

Well... I'll consider all of this a cultural learning experience. In the future, most pop culture references will hopefully have a European origin :-) But thanks everyone with the compliments. I'll try to have the third show's schedule up as soon as possible, and I'll give plenty of time for everyone to post predictions. And I've decided after the first big event, I'll tally up everyone's predictions so far and start keeping score. It'll be retroactive, so any predictions already made will count towards it.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling![/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]Once again in Lubuskie Arena! Who would've thought there's so few arenas in all of Central Europe? [/I][/CENTER] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG] Haiti Voodude vs. The Big Bad[/CENTER][/B] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AdamMatravers.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BurningExile.jpg[/IMG] Adam Matravers vs. Burning EXILE[/B][/CENTER] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GregGauge_alt1.jpg[/IMG] Bam Bam Johansson vs. Greg Keith[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EdwardCornell.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG] Eddie Cornell vs. Boris Kiriyakin[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/DrInsane.jpg[/IMG] Louis Figo Manico vs. Doctor Insane[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AnnaKi.jpg[/IMG] Geena the Warrior Princess vs. Anna Ki: [U]EWA Female title match![/CENTER][/B][/U] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG] Spiros the Mighty vs. Joey Beauchamp[/CENTER][/B] [B][CENTER][SIZE="4"]PLUS![/SIZE][/CENTER][/B] [CENTER][I]The third strongman competition between Bam Bam Johansson and Marat Khoklov![/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [quote][B]Quick Picks:[/B] Haiti Voodude vs. The Big Bad Adam Matravers vs. Burning EXILE Bam Bam Johansson vs. Greg Keith Eddie Cornell vs. Boris Kiriyakin Louis Figo Manico vs. Doctor Insane Geena the Warrior Princess vs. Anna Ki: EWA Female title Spiros the Mighty vs. Joey Beauchamp[/quote]

[Hyde Hill]

Haiti Voodude vs. [B]The Big Bad[/B] [B]Adam Matravers[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [B]Bam Bam Johansson [/B]vs. Greg Keith Eddie Cornell vs. [B]Boris Kiriyakin[/B] [B]Louis Figo Manico [/B]vs. Doctor Insane Geena the Warrior Princess vs. [B]Anna Ki[/B]: EWA Female title Spiros the Mighty vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp [/B] The third strongman competition between [B]Bam Bam Johansson[/B] and Marat Khoklov!

[mistaken]

Haiti Voodude vs. [B]The Big Bad[/B] Adam Matravers vs. [B]Burning EXILE[/B] [B]Bam Bam Johansson[/B] vs. Greg Keith Eddie Cornell vs. [B]Boris Kiriyakin[/B] [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] vs. Doctor Insane [B]Geena the Warrior Princess[/B] vs. Anna Ki: EWA Female title [B]Spiros the Mighty[/B] vs. Joey Beauchamp

[GruntMark]

Haiti Voodude vs. [B]The Big Bad[/B] [B]Adam Matravers[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [B]Bam Bam Johansson [/B]vs. Greg Keith [B]Eddie Cornell[/B] vs. Boris Kiriyakin [B]Louis Figo Manico [/B]vs. Doctor Insane Geena the Warrior Princess vs.[B] Anna Ki: [/B]EWA Female title Spiros the Mighty vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp [/B]

[Tigerkinney]

[B]Haiti Voodude [/B]vs. The Big Bad [I]From what I've read, Voodude seems to be getitng a bit more of a push[/I] [B]Adam Matravers[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [I]EXILE in all likely hood is just passing through.[/I] [B]Bam Bam Johansson[/B] vs. Greg Keith [I]Keith deserves better but Bam Bam's getting the push and he isn't.[/I] [B]Eddie Cornell[/B] vs. Boris Kiriyakin [I]Boris continues to get no love from the fans as he loses to Tommy's not so great cousin. Perhaps you could bring in Harry Wilson and form a tag team of rubbish relatives to revered British Wrestlers.[/I] [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] vs. Doctor Insane [I]Routine win for the champ[/I] Geena the Warrior Princess vs. [B]Anna Ki[/B]: EWA Female title [I]Could go either way, preference choice for this one[/I] [B]Spiros the Mighty[/B] vs. Joey Beauchamp [I]You seem to be pushing your user character, and I think you'll keep him in title contention with a solid win over Beauchamp.[/I]

[Purple Cowboy]

Haiti Voodude vs. [b]The Big Bad[/b] [b]Adam Matravers[/b] vs. Burning EXILE [b]Bam Bam Johansson[/b] vs. Greg Keith [b]Eddie Cornell[/b] vs. Boris Kiriyakin [b]Louis Figo Manico[/b] vs. Doctor Insane Geena the Warrior Princess vs. [b]Anna Ki[/b]: EWA Female title [b]Spiros the Mighty[/b] vs. Joey Beauchamp

[Marcel Fromage]

Great to see a European fed getting a rare diary outing on here. Will be following this. [B]Haiti Voodude[/B] vs. The Big Bad [I]I'm sure Voodude has more talent than Big Bad...but then you do like pushing those naff Russians![/I] [B]Adam Matravers [/B]vs. Burning EXILE [I]Matravers is likely to cause you less stress than EXILE[/I] [B]Bam Bam Johansson [/B]vs. Greg Keith [I]Bam Bam continues to build momentum[/I] [B]Eddie Cornell [/B]vs. Boris Kiriyakin [I]I'm sure Kiriyakin is only there because of his hat[/I] [B]Louis Figo Manico [/B]vs. Doctor Insane [I]The Fig continues to look strong here. Insane not retired yet?[/I] Geena the Warrior Princess vs. [B]Anna Ki[/B]: EWA Female title [I]Because otherwise I'm picking all down the left, which is never good[/I] Spiros the Mighty vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp [/B] [I]Because otherwise I'm picking the same as Tigerkinney, which is never good![/I]

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling![/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]From Lubuskie Arena in front of 1000 fans![/I][/CENTER] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG]w/[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/PhoebePlumridge.jpg[/IMG] Haiti Voodude vs. The Big Bad w/Phoebe Plumridge[/CENTER][/B] [I]Haiti Voodude tried to use his awesome hat to intimidate The Big Bad, but failed to realize that the Big Bad’s teaming with Boris Kiriyakin has rendered him immune to awesome hat powers! Instead, he was forced to brawl with the larger Big Bad all across the ring. The fans started rallying behind the giant loveable Soviet, and he signaled for a Soviet Slam! In desperation, Haiti Voodude reached into his hat… and threw Voodoo Dust (black sand) into the ring! The Big Bad looked at it confused… or possibly under some spell… and turned around right into the Voodoo Spiral (Downward Spiral) from Haiti Voodude, who then got the three count! Haiti Voodude defeated The Big Bad in 6:29 by pinfall with a Voodoo Spiral.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Haiti Voodude [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D-[/COLOR][/B] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AdamMatravers.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BurningExile.jpg[/IMG] Adam Matravers vs. Burning EXILE[/B][/CENTER] [I]Holy high flying foreigners, Batman! The English and Japanese natives gave the mild-mannered EWA crowd a taste of wrestling in the rest of the world with an amazing display of cruiserweight action, the likes of which caused numerous people in the crowd of 1000 to faint from over gasping. Adam Matravers, the closest thing to a home town hero in the match, managed to plant Burning EXILE into the mat with a Tornado DDT and bounced to the top rope to get in position for the Mile High Moonsault… and Byron leaps over the guardrail, and shakes the ropes! Matravers slips and crotches himself on the turnbuckle! Sensing an opportunity, Burning EXILE pulls Matravers down and nails the EXILE Driver for the win. Burning EXILE defeated Adam Matravers in 6:22 by pinfall with an Exile Driver. During the match we also had Byron run in and attack Adam Matravers.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Burning EXILE [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GregGauge_alt1.jpg[/IMG] Bam Bam Johansson vs. Greg Keith[/CENTER][/B] [I]Greg Keith is in the ring, taunting the audience with hamburgers and blue jeans, when the sound of a motorcycle and 80s metal style guitar riffs deafen the arena! Bam Bam Johansson hits a small ramp at ringside and catapults himself into the ring to the start the match! Or maybe he just parked his motorcycle and walked in, hard to tell. Keith charges forward, trying to kick Johansson’s legs out from under him! Bam Bam falls to a knee and Keith starts up his technical engine, applying ingenious holds to try and wrestle the Alpha Norwegian to the mat, never letting him get in much offense… but Bam Bam is just TOO STRONG! With a surge of manly strength, Bam Bam tosses Greg Keith halfway across the ring backwards! Greg charges forward with a flurry of strikes followed by an attempted Belly to Belly Suplex, but again Bam Bam no-sells, I mean absorbs, it all and pushes Keith backwards again, this time following it up the (I am the) Beginning of Your End (an ultra-stiff forearm to the side of the head that levels the opponent)! Keith stumbles back up, completely dazed, and walks right into that finishing Spinebuster from Bam Bam Johansson… which will for now be known as… The Bull Shark Buster? The creative team is still deciding. No matter, the move allows Bam Bam Johansson to get the pin for the three count! Bam Bam Johansson defeated Greg Keith in 6:03 by pinfall with a Spinebuster.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Bam Bam Johansson [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EdwardCornell.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG]w/[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Vita.jpg[/IMG] Eddie Cornell vs. Boris Kiriyakin w/ Vita[/CENTER][/B] [I]A saddening chorus of boos still echoed throw the hallowed halls of Lubuskie Arena at the very sight of Boris Kiriyakin. More than Boris’s feelings, and my pride, were hurt in this snoozefest. Half the arena left to get various bratwurst based meals and to try and get an autograph from Bam Bam Johansson, and a collective sigh of relief was released when “Rugged Due Process” Eddie Cornell locked in the Blame Journey and forced everyone’s favorite (except the fans) Russian star to submit. Eddie Cornell defeated Boris Kiriyakin in 5:39 by submission with a Blame Journey.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Eddie Cornell [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EdwardCornell.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Eddie Cornell pleads with the crowd to stop calling him “Tommy Lite”…[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]...when Haiti Voodude hits the ring! Eddie turns around and Voodude simply reaches into his hat… and throws down more Voodoo Dust onto Eddie’s boots! Eddie looks mildly annoyed and goes down to dust off his boots… and when he looks up, Haiti Voodude nails him with the Voodoo Spiral! It might appear that the Voodoo Dust left Cornell completely defenseless against his assailant![/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D-[/B][/COLOR] [I]The Eurotron’s screen is blanketed by a Soviet flag as some overly dramatic Russian music plays, and Marat Khoklov’s massive pecs makes their way down to the ring… half a minute later, his entire form manages to climb into the ring.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR] Foolish capitalists, last week your champion was crushed by the superior might of the Soviet Union, by the will of the proletariat and KHOKLOV!!! And tonight, Khoklov shall crush him with iron fist, the same used to tear American motor car in two pieces! Puny Norwegian and Khoklov have been scheduled for arm wrestling contest, yes? Khoklov shall prove final dominance over puny Norwegian and Khoklov…. [SIZE="7"][B]MUST BREAK YOU!!![/B][/SIZE] [I]With a loud thud, Marat Khoklov steps out of the ring.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/DrInsane.jpg[/IMG] Louis Figo Manico vs. Doctor Insane[/CENTER][/B] [I]All the Geritol in the world wouldn’t be enough to get Doctor Insane in shape to handle the only slightly younger, but still well conditioned, Louis Figo Manico. Indeed, he sucked enough in the ring to make Louis Figo Manico look only human. It didn’t help that Manico was forbidden from using any Suplexes against Insane, due to fear that he could break the aging Ghanaian’s hip. Manico hit the Madrid Maul in due time to finally put this match to an end and out of Manico’s memory. Louis Figo Manico defeated Doctor Insane in 5:32 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Louis Figo Manico [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]The Eurotron is our focus now… as we go backstage!!! Here, we find Bam Bam Johansson warming up backstage for the arm wrestling contest, though the beating he gave Greg Keith earlier in the night seems to have loosened him up. Currently, he is running up a heavily inclined treadmill WHILE punching a bull shark hung out in front of him! Because what’s more Alpha than having a fist fight with a shark? Intense, bro, intense.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Marat Khoklov, wearing nothing save a Soviet flag draped over his body (also, thank god for creative camera angles, takes a big gulp of vodka and reaches down… coming back up with a life size replica of Ronald Reagan! Using his giant, redwood thick arms, Khoklov snaps the Reagan replica in half! [/I] [COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Khoklov:[/COLOR] The time for action is upon Khoklov, no more… Stalin. Rating: C [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AnnaKi.jpg[/IMG] Geena the Warrior Princess vs. Anna Ki: [U]EWA Female title match![/CENTER][/B][/U] [I]Bam Bam’s manager found herself up against a far more visually pleasing Russian in Anna Ki. The champion took the early advantage after using a headlock takedown to put, and keep, Geena on the mat. Anna’s strategy worked to perfection, and finally put Geena in position for the Ki-D-T… but Geena countered with a Northern Lights Suplex! Geena took control, using her strength to pummel Anna Ki, keeping her off balance. Geena Irish Whipped Anna into the ropes, looking for a decapitating clothesline… but Anna Ki ducked under! Geena got spun around and absolutely planted with the Ki-D-T! Anna makes the cover and gets the pinfall to retain the title. Anna Ki defeated Geena The Warrior Princess in 5:34 by pinfall with a Ki-D-T. Anna Ki makes defence number 7 of her EWA Female title.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Anna Ki [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG] Spiros the Mighty vs. Joey Beauchamp[/CENTER][/B] [I]This duo proved in this match to have mastered the art of “little dude vs. big dude” in this one, with the smaller Beauchamp getting manhandled for most of the match only to spring back with a burst of flashy, speedy moves! Spiros finally took full control, relentless pummeling Joey Beauchamp with obviously fake, but well sold punches. Spiros ended the combo with a devastating Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex! Sensing blood in the water, Spiros catapulted Beauchamp face first into the corner, and began lifting him up into position for the Spartanplex! But the Breeze managed to fight back and turn around; throwing punches back down at Spiros who threw punches back up to him! Sensing he was losing exchange, Spiros dived towards the ropes, crashing into referee Patrick Garrett in the process who did a belly flop out of the ring! The tactic worked, and Beauchamp became the second Englishman tonight to get crotched on the turnbuckle! Spiros delivered a few more strikes across Beauchamp’s face to insure he was staying up top and then rolled out of the ring… to grab a steel chair! Spiros put it on the ground right where Beauchamp’s head would crash due to a Spartanplex! He set Joey up once more… but Louis Figo Manico hit the ring, kicked the chair out, and attacked Spiros! They exchanged rights for a few seconds before Louis gained the advantage, kneed Spiros in the gut, and hit the Madrid Maul! Manico rolled out of the ring as Garrett pulled himself back in, just in time to see Joey Beauchamp recover on the turnbuckle as Spiros stumbled to his feet. Beauchamp leapt off for the Breeze Block, a truly amazing looking summersault cross body block, and collide with Spiros the Mighty! Garrett wearily counts the three and gives Beauchamp the win! Joey Beauchamp defeated Spiros the Mighty in 11:40 by pinfall with a Breeze Block.[/I] [B]Winner: [/B]Joey Beauchamp [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Spiros recovers unusually quickly from the Breeze Block and dives out of the ring! Spiros and Louis Figo Manico charge each other, quickly erupting into a schoolyard style brawl! Fists fly, faces bounce off of the ring, the guardrail, and the announcer’s table! Patrick Garrett is the first on the scene, trying to break up the melee by pulling Spiros off Manico… Manico briefly hits the ground from a Spiros uppercut, and Spiros uses the opening to level Garrett with the Wrath of the Gods! Louis springs back to keep the brawl going for a few more seconds until a swarm of nameless officials, staff members, and a few wrestlers rush down to break up the fisticuffs.[/I][B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [I]Officials are still escorting Spiros and Manico backstage, restraining the from further violence… with Mark Stanford enters the ring![/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MarkStanford.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Hold on a second! Take the schizophrenic Greek out of here, but I need to announce tonight’s randomly selected judge for the arm wrestling contest! And the winner is… [I]*Stanford opens an envelope and rifles through it*[/I]… oh my…. The winner is…. LOUIS…. FIGO….. MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNIIIIIIICCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]The nameless personnel holding back Manico shrug in unison and let the “Pain From Spain” free to head back to the ring. Manico, battered and bruised from the brutal brawl, limps back into the ring.[/I] [COLOR="red"][B]Louis Figo Manico:[/B][/COLOR] I’m pretty sure that Spiros broke one of my fingers and knocked a molar down my throat… [I]*Louis coughs up blood*[/I]… and I should really be seeking medical attention to insure I didn’t suffer any internal injuries… but if the fans want Louis Figo Manico, then tonight they shall receive him! [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]The Depeche Mode rejected roadies make their return, bringing down a regulation sized arm wrestling… table… thing… for the contest. Manico, meanwhile, sits in the corner contemplating with the fans if swallowing a tooth can be fatal. The roadies leave the ring, and that dramatic Russian music hits the PA system! Local seismologist will report a 2.0 earthquake throughout Poland this evening, following Marat Khoklov plodding down to the ring. Marat looks unfazed by the chorus of boos who quietly gets into his arm wrestling ready position. A mood swing is experienced by every person in the audience, as massive explosions, electric guitar, and a motorcycle signal the entrance of “The Alpha Norwegian” Bam Bam Johansson, who while driving 60 kilometers an hour manages to circle the ring WHILE flexing! As the motorcycle slides to a stop Bam Bam leaps off of it and onto the ring apron in one, fluid move. Bam Bam takes his position on the other side of the table and locks hands with Marat Khoklov in the “ready” position.[/I] [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Listen up my main men, the rules are as follows: Both men shall use one arm, and only one arm, to try and pin the other man’s arm down to the table. In doing so, the man doing the pinning will be declared the victor. Should a man use a second arm, he shall be disqualified! Your elbow must remain firmly on the table, or you will be disqualified! No spitting, biting, or racial slurs are allowed! Marat Khoklov, are you ready?! [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Khoklov ready to crush capitalist’s arm! [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Bam Bam Johansson, are you ready?! [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] I WAS BORN READY, BRO! [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Commence arm wrestling!!! [I]Both men tense up as they divert enough power into their right arms to light Spain for a five years, their muscles rippling and brimming of strength that cannot be comprehended by most mortal men, and even some of the lesser gods. Bam Bam’s arm starts to go down!!![/I] [B][SIZE="6"]AND FIGHTS BACK UP!!! AND GOES BACK DOWN!!! UP!!! DOWN!!! UP AGAIN!!![/SIZE][/B] [I]And Bam Bam Johansson starts to take advantage! Bam Bam bicep balloons up to frightening proportions as he tries to put Khoklov away![/I] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Lenin, give Khoklov strength!!! [I]A cheesy, cartoon version of Vladimir Lenin appears on the Eurotron![/I] [B]Lenin:[/B] It is done… [I]And with that, Marat Khoklov takes control! The crowd rallies behind Johansson as his hand inches closer and closer to the table…[/I] [B][COLOR="mediumturquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] HAHA!! And now, feel the chilling bite of the Soviet winter, “Gamma” Norwegian! [I]Bam Bam uses every ounce of strength left in him to just keep his hand up! He looks to the crowd, still rallying behind him… and in the crowd; he spots a small child looking at him with sad eyes…[/I] [B]Small Child: [/B] Here, take this Bam Bam!! [I]The child tosses a can through the air and Bam Bam Johansson catches it in his free hand! Johansson holds it up in triumph briefly, allowing everyone to see it!![/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/sharkcanpeg.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Bam Bam squeezes on the can, causing what can only assume is Bull Shark Testosterone Bites to erupt out, arch through the air, and directly into Bam Bam’s mouth! With a vigor of unprecedented strength, Bam Bam Johansson simply powers Khoklov’s arm up and back down! Khoklov’s hand crashes into the table!!![/I] [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] We have a winner!!! Bam Bam Johansson wins the 2009 Strong Man Contest!!! [I]Bam Bam leaps up to celebrate… but is immediately knocked to the mat painfully by a Moscow Lariat!!! Khoklov stomps Johansson in the chest multiple times, before lifting him up… and goes for the Russian Legend Powerbomb! AND HE DRILLS JOHANSSON RIGHT THROUGH THE ARM WRESTLING TABLE!!!! Khoklov stomps on Bam Bam Johansson’s sunglasses, and then taunts the crowd as the show ends.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]B[/B][/COLOR] [B][SIZE="6"]Show Rating: [COLOR="red"]C[/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]

[Phantom Stranger]

I recommend the Mark of the Alpha for Bam Bam's finisher.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][I][U][SIZE="5"][COLOR="DarkOrange"]WARNING! Backstage Incident Ahead![/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG] [SIZE="4"][B][I]Starring: Spiros "The Mighty" Landrakis, Jr[/I][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][CENTER][B]In...[/B][/CENTER][/SIZE] [CENTER][SIZE="4"][B]The Matravers-Khoklov Dufflebag Incident[/B][/SIZE] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AdamMatravers.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]In an undersized, dull white room warmed only by an artifact of a space heater in the corner, Spiros Landrakis, Jr. wearily heaves a heavy coat onto his body, and over at least two other layers of clothing. With deep sigh he steps out the door and immediately realizes that tomorrow he needs to invest in a third layer if European Wrestling All-Stars is going to continue to visit Lubuskie Arena on a regular basis. Walking hastily in a likely futile attempt to generate a little extra body heat, Spiros headed down the hall to the locker rooms of those unlucky enough to have their own cramped, private, prison cell like accommodations. Spiros reached a door marked “Lockers” (along with the word “locker” in several different languages) wrote on a piece of duct tape with a black marker. With another heavy sigh, Spiros raised his hand forward and for the second time today regretted walking through a door. An unfathomable stench of the damned brutalizes the senses in a manner that might kill lesser men. In the center of the typical dull white room of Lubuskie Arena a duffle bag lies half open and motionless. On one side, Adam Matravers stares with his mouth agape at the duffle bag. Across from him, Marat Khoklov chuckles uncontrollably. Spiros is the first to speak.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"] “What happened here?”[/COLOR][/B] [I]Matravers answers in a half whimper,[/I] [COLOR="Blue"][B]“My… my bag…”[/B][/COLOR] [I]Spiros turns to direct the same question to Marat Khoklov, only to have it drowned out by the hearty chuckle from the gargantuan Russian.[/I] [B][COLOR="blue"]“Dear god… my bag…”[/COLOR][/B] [I]With no one answering the simplest of questions, Spiros uses his one lead to head over to the duffle bag. His large, well tanned hands reach down and pull the bag open… and inside, Spiros discovers the horrifying source of the stench.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]“Oh… my… GOD! KHOKLOV!!!”[/COLOR][/B] [I]With that, Marat Khoklov’s chuckle grows into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Wiping tears from his now watering eyes, Spiros heads over to Marat.[/I] [B][COLOR="lime"]“Khoklov, did you do this?”[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="MediumTurquoise"][B]“The little Englishman,” starts Khoklov in a thick Russian accent, struggling to contain his laughter, “was going on about how great his life is. He was telling everyone that he is living dream of being professional wrestler and dating beautiful woman.”[/B][/COLOR] [I]Spiros glances back to the bag and then at Adam Matravers who is now being consoled by his girlfriend Phoebe Plumridge, who like Marat Khoklov stated is damn pleasing to the eyes. Another moment of this passes and Spiros redirects his attention towards Marat.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]“So let me get this straight… Because Adam Matravers is happy in his life and has someone who cares about him… You did THAT in his bag?”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]“Matravers was getting c0cky! Someone had to show him that even if you’re good looking professional wrestler with beautiful woman that another man can still dump on you. So I decide to myself to teach him a lesson, yes? And he wouldn’t stand still, so I use bag instead.”[/COLOR][/B] [I]Spiros closes his eyes and rubbed them, partially because of the headache his growing annoyance had developed and partially because the smell had begun to burn into his retinas. After careful consideration, Landrakis reached a decision.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]“Marat Khoklov, you’re fired.”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]“WHAT?! Because of harmless little prank?!”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="lime"]“You’re right, it wouldn’t seem so bad if I wasn’t basking at ground zero of the aftermath. You’re not fired.”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="mediumturquoise"]“Really? Thank you Mr. Landrakis.”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="lime"]“I changed my mind, you’re still fired.”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="mediumturquoise"]“But you just said I wasn’t! If that is your decision though, I believe I understand…”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="lime"]“That’s a good attitude to have about it. You’re not fired.”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="mediumturquoise"]“Thank you Spiros, I won’t let you down again!”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="lime"]“Actually, now that I think about it, you might. You’re still fired.”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="mediumturquoise"]“What?!”[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="lime"]“Fine, you’re not fired. Just don’t do… THAT… ever again.”[/COLOR][/B] [I]Relieved, and mildly humbled, Marat Khoklov stepped past Spiros Landrakis, Jr. and headed out the door. Spiros turned around to inform Adam Matravers of the outcome, “Hey, Adam…” but he and Phoebe Plumridge had both already headed out the door some time during Spiros and Marat’s discourse.[/I] [CENTER][B]Spiros "The Mighty" Landrakis, Jr will return in...[/B] [I][B][SIZE="4"]The Case of the Charismaless Russian![/CENTER][/SIZE][/B][/I]

[Comradebot]

While I'm here... Hyde Hill was kind enough in his diary to post a link to mine, and I promised to do the same. So, feel free to check it out: [URL="http://67.19.230.90/~arles/forum/showthread.php?t=34192"]http://67.19.230.90/~arles/forum/showthread.php?t=34192[/URL] Its a solid TCW diary to say the least, and starting to evolve into one of the strongest diaries on the board. Please go check it out.

[Hyde Hill]

:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o Good job on the Quasi firing it seems to be the only way to deal with the real hard cases.