EWA: Why No One Cares About Wrestling In Europe

[Hyde Hill]

[B]Frank De Pain [/B]vs. Roberto Milano [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Burning EXILE White Knight vs. [B]Joey Beauchamp[/B] [B]Ruud Van Anger [/B]vs. Toby Juan Kanobi [B]Bam Bam Johansson & Geena The Warrior Princess [/B]vs. Khoklov & Mystery Partner (Miss Information) Haiti Voodude vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal Title

[Comradebot]

Hyde Hill lives! You crazy Dutchman, now I want to update this diary again! :D

[Regis]

Quick Picks: [B]Frank De Pain[/B] vs. Roberto Milano [I]Not quite sure why.[/I] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [I]Goodbye, foregner![/I] [B]White Knight[/B] vs. Joey Beauchamp [I]He's the Muscle Cruncher guy, and Joey's from the competition![/I] Ruud Van Anger vs. [B]Toby Juan Kanobi[/B] [I]Feel the FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE![/I] [B]Bam Bam Johansson & Geena The Warrior Princess[/B] vs. Khoklov & Mystery Partner (Miss Information) [I]ALPHA, BABY! INTENSE![/I] Haiti Voodude vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]: EWA Universal Title [I]But no matter who takes the pin, Haiti Voodude gets a main event. We all win.[/I]

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling![/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]From Bayern Stadion in front of 1443 fans! That's right, suck it Lubuskie![/I][/CENTER] [I]Fans either bored, stupid, or insane enough to waste money on tickets are still filtering into the arena, standing in line for bratwurst dogs and a mug of beer (hey, we’re in Germany afterall!), or to buy the latest in EWA merchandise. The popular choice amongst both kids and teenagers appears to be the new Bam Bam Johansson action figure, complete with “Realistic Alphaness and intensity” and a plastic bull shark. Meanwhile, in the ring, a spectacle you won’t have the luxury of viewing on the monthly EWA DVD boxset unfolds… unless we decide to add it to the special features.[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][B]Boris Kiriyakin:[/B][/COLOR] I do not understand, I thought my entertainment ability is on par with EWA. Is owner trying to force me out, so I may not send money to father in the Motherland? Why must I be here? [B][COLOR="Gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] … falls evenly on the plain… [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Because, Boris, just because you can actually talk your way out of a saturated paper sack does not mean you should neglect the idea of improving yourself. Take me for example! When Louis Figo Manico speaks, the fans, the fans they listen! They drink in every word and savor it like an exotic nectar with which to quench the palates of their ears. [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] Bumble bee-e, bumble bee-E, bumble BEE-E, BUMBLE BEEEEEE!!!! [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] While you, Mr. Boris, are more like bottled water. You’re words are relatively safe to drink, and can quench your thirst, but your flavor comes at the bare minimum. Sure, water is healthy and you can survive on it, but the flavor… there is nothing special about the flavor of water. Meanwhile, our other friend here… [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] Nuclear…. Wessels… vvwwweesseells… nuclear vwessels… [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] He is more like anti-freeze. Should you drink in his words, you will curl upon the ground and die while vomiting up various pieces of your innards. Do you understand Mr. Boris? Besides, look at the bright side! You were not booked to wrestle tonight, so at least this way you get paid extra money to send to your home in Russia. [B][COLOR="darkslategray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR][/B] Father could use extra to replace our pigs… the wolves came upon them last Thursday in the night. [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Perfect! Now join your partner in the vocal exercises. [B][COLOR="Red"]Soviet Union:[/COLOR][/B] The rain in Spain… [I]And so this continues for, you know… a few more minutes. In all honesty, this was nothing more than cheap excuse to get those two to work on their microphone skills. Sue me.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/FrankDePain.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RobertoMilano.jpg[/IMG] [B]Frank De Pain vs. Roberto Milano[/B][/CENTER][/B] [I]Two of the more talented youngsters on the roster went at it in this one… meaning the EWA crowd couldn’t give half of a third of a damn about it. Despite his best efforts, Milano couldn’t contain the spry Dutchmen from flopping all over the ring like a wounded pigeon on speed. Frank De Pain finally utilized the Orange Wave (Shooting Star Press) to put away Milano. Frank De Pain defeated Roberto Milano in 5:48 by pinfall with an Orange Wave.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Frank De Pain [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Puffy.jpg[/IMG]VS.[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BurningExile.jpg[/IMG] Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Burning EXILE[/CENTER][/B] [I]Thankfully, Puffy’s brawling attitude and Middleweight classification made him look like Marat Khoklov compared to Frank De Pain, and as such it trick the fans into actually getting into this match. Not only did Burning EXILE manage to use his speed and technically ability to take the advantage on Puffy, but even managed to go toe to toe with him while brawling. EXILE almost had the match put away, until Puffy managed to clothesline him to the outside of the ring. In “Puffy’s Domain” aka “The Sand Trap” aka “the outside of the ring”, Puffy was more than at home. Burning EXILE quickly realized that all the technical prowess in the world won’t make getting tossed into the metal barrier hurt less. Satisfied with the brutal beating he’d delivered, Puffy rolled EXILE back into the ring and hit the Under Par to get the win. Puffy The Sand Iron Player defeated Burning EXILE in 5:53 by pinfall with an Under Par.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Puffy The Sand Iron Player [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/WhiteKnight.jpg[/IMG]VS.[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG] White Knight vs. Joey Beauchamp[/CENTER][/B] [I]FINALLY, a match involving a man who has actually seen the inside of a weight room! Beauchamp managed to remain elusive, preventing White Knight from pitching him across the ring with ease too often. The Breeze even managed to throw in some offense to whittle away at White Knight, including a sensational leaping leg lariat that actually managed to put White Knight on the ground. Momentum was fleeting for Beauchamp, as White Knight murdered it with a big kick right into Joey’s gut as Beauchamp bounced off the ropes. White Knight took advantage and set up Joey for a Powerbomb… but Joey Beauchamp countered into a hurricanrana! The Breeze leaped to the top turnbuckle and came back down with a successful Breeze Block to pick up the win. Joey Beauchamp defeated White Knight in 7:31 by pinfall with a Breeze Block.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Joey Beauchamp [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]With his cheap, in-house music still playing, Joey Beauchamp signals for a nameless staff member at ringside to toss him a microphone and Joey makes a spectacular one handed catch.[/I] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] Fans of the EWA, gather ‘round… it’s story time! Tonight’s story is a recent tale, one I like to call “Beauchamp vs. Byron at Iron Curtain”. Like any good story, it has a ruggedly handsome, charismatic, and all around swell guy of a hero… that’d be me, Joey Beauchamp, for those keeping score. And also, like any good story, it has an effeminate villain who seeks victory without a good ol’ noble effort. And seeing as how I’m already the protagonist of this epic saga, then my math, once you carry the Y, says Byron is that villain. Anyways, the story goes as such. The ruggedly handsome and charismatic hero, that’s me, has to do battle with an effeminate looking probable shemale. And oh, the battle is intense. Many a times it appears that our beloved hero is on the verge of being the vanquished or the vanquishee, but finally it appeared that good would once again overcome evil, as our hero had victory in his grasp! But let’s “Tarantino” this story, shall we? Let’s go back to about a week before Iron Curtain. Here, we enter the third player in this game. A young man, a man who some say has modeled his very existence after that of the hero of the story does battle with the same shemale. He too had victory in his grasp. But this poor aspiring hero, by the name of Adam Matravers for those trying to catch up, was robbed by the treacherous tactics of the villain. Despicable, I know… I’m the one telling the story. So then we jump back into present time, which was actually about a week ago. The climax of this epic battle is being reached, and the villain is once again plotting an unsavory theft of victory. But then we switch American Hollywood directors, and we M. Night Shyamalan this whole thing. We’ll assume that it was actually Shyamalan’s film, and Tarantino was just a guest director for one scene… he’s cool enough to do that, and I know cool… because I AM cool, I’m the Breeze! [I]Joey briefly pauses for the cheap pop, grinning like an idiot in the process.[/I] [B][COLOR="teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] Anyways, here comes the big twist. The young, aspiring hero comes to the aide of his idol. But the villain, he tricks the inexperienced hero, who inadvertently strikes down our protagonist! Naturally, the vile shemale subhuman takes advantage of the situation and once again steals some sweet and sour victory like a thief in the night. Now, I’m a smart guy. I know that Adam didn’t mean to kick me in the face, and in all honesty I would’ve done the same thing in his situation. With a situation like this you have to look at the big picture, and the big picture told me in a smooth bluesy voice that Byron is entirely responsible for me being wronged at Iron Curtain. Byron, you despicable shemale, sent Adam into a blind rage just so you could steal that victory from me. Not cool Byron, and I know what’s cool… because I AM cool, I’m the Breeze!!! [I]And, again, Joey bounces around and grinning like an idiot as the fans pop for his catchphrase.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Joey Beauchamp is still bouncing around like a buffoon when it becomes apparent that Toby Juan Kanobi’s music has been playing for the last three minutes and that Toby himself is already standing in the ring waiting for Joey to finish his speech. Poor Toby. Joey hands him the microphone and struts off to the backstage.[/I] [B][COLOR="Yellow"]Toby Juan Kanobi:[/COLOR][/B] I will not waste my breath on you for long, Jed High. Your treacherous attack on me at Iron Curtain was vile in the least, but I maintain hope that the man who was once my apprentice has survived his consumption by the dark side. You shall not goad me into a fight Jed High, and should you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Repent and turn to the Light Jed, before you ultimately destroy yourself… [I]Thankfully, Jed keeps to his word and doesn’t waste too much time on the microphone. He’s nowhere near as interesting to listen to as Joey Beauchamp![/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG]VS.[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG] Ruud Van Anger vs. Toby Juan Kanobi[/B][/CENTER] [I]Toby dropped the microphone and squared off with the equally high talented and high flying Ruud Van Anger. And we all know what happens when the EWA decides to book a couple of scrawny high fliers in a match against each other. Yep, the crowd seriously turned against this one! Maybe we should find a way to get them to accept the littler folks around here, aye? Anywho, Toby looked hobbled from Jed High’s attack on him at Iron Curtain and couldn’t keep up with Ruud Van Anger, who eventually nailed the Dutch Courage to pin the Jedi Master. Ruud Van Anger defeated Toby Juan Kanobi in 5:44 by pinfall with a Dutch Courage.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Ruud Van Anger [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]“O Fortuna”, or a cheap EWA in-house version of it, bursts from the PA system! Spiros the Mighty has new music, and makes his way down to the ring![/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] HARK and give heed good barbarians of the Germanic tribes! Last night at Iron Curtain, the Champion of the Gods faced… [I]Thankfully, before he can get a solid start on what is bound to be another psychotic rant about gods, Greece, and a golden fleece “Conquistador” by Theater of Hate plays and Louis Figo Manico strolls out onto the entrance way… hey, we can’t afford a ramp.[/I] [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] No no no no no no… we’re not doing this Spiros. [I]Spiros opens his mouth to speak, but LFM throws up a finger across his lips to tell him to stay silent.[/I] [B][COLOR="red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] NO! Don’t start! Don’t utter another word because I know what you’re going to say already. You planned to come out here and talk about your divine mission from gods so fictional that not even the people who created them really believed in them. Then, Mr. Spiros, you were going to say that the match ended in a draw at Iron Curtain because I’m some sort of “evil and wicked man from the westlands” (using quotation marks with his fingers) and that I was not strong enough to defeat the “Champion of the Gods”(more finger quotation mark fun!) so I plotted and schemed and conspired and connived to instead force a draw so I could retain my title. And, to end your rant, you’ll say that the “gods” (see other parentheses) have ordered you to face me again in order to “rid the EWA Universal title of my evil taint”. Am I right Spiros? Was that somewhere in the ballpark or perhaps even right on the head? [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Well… [B][COLOR="Red"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Well what? Are you still not enough of a man to come out and ask to face me, LIKE A MAN, for the Universal title? Until you’re ready to simply admit you wish to face me for the sake of your own personal glory, and not the glory of Zeus and ancient Greece then we’re not doing this. You’re not going to come out here and rant like a madman, and I’m not going to waste my time trying to convince a madman that he IS a madman. [I]Louis Figo Manico drops his microphone and walks back out the rampless entrance way, leaving Spiros the Mighty in the ring scratching his stubble covered head.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Music more dramatic than Spiros’s new “O Fortuna” knockoff rattles the arena rhythmically, like footsteps. Wait a second… wait a second… that IS footsteps! Biceps the size of Lex Luger himself (the whole man, not just his biceps) emerges through the entrance way, scraping both sides of the opening in the process. With a Soviet flag (with a repaired pole) raised high above his head, Marat Khoklov rumbles down to the ring![/I] [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] BWHAHAHAHA… Much like its name sake, at Iron Curtain capitalism was stopped dead in its tracks in Eastern Europe! Little capitalist Norwegian thought he could stand up to Khoklov, and Khoklov pinned him Red Square in middle of ring! But devious fat capitalist pigs, they refuse to admit inferiority to the Mother Russia! They use money to influence the bourgeoisie of EWA and get new match, yes? But ah, Khoklov have last laugh! Khoklov tell men in charge of booking of Marx’s dream of the proletariat being equal with all, and all members of the proletariat equal with each other! So bull shark loving capitalist will not face Khoklov one on one, but we shall now have mixed tag match against Khoklov, yes! He and capitalist prostitute of his face Khoklov and woman of Khoklov’s choosing tonight. [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Khoklov proceeds to waive the Soviet flag over his head, but is quickly interrupted by over the top, cheesy, 80s hair metal style electric guitars wailing! The only think more deafening than the semi-rowdy German crowd is the roaring motorcycle engine as Bam Bam Johansson rides down to the ring with Geena in the seat behind him! In a display which requires you to be genetically different, Bam Bam pops a wheelie WHILE flexing! The duo climb off the bike and enter the ring, Geena grabbing a microphone while Bam Bam goes through his typical routine of flexing for the crowd and seemingly ignoring what the people directly next to him are saying.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] Marat, all you proved at Iron Curtain is that you’re not a real man. You’re not an Alpha male like Bam Bam Johansson- [B][COLOR="Green"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] ALPHA BABY, YEAH!! [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] But you’re nothing more than a lowly, like… Delta or Theta. You couldn’t beat Bam Bam like a man, so you hit him over the head with a metal pole when the referee was comatose outside the ring. [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] LIES! Khoklov will not stand for false accusations that Khoklov is cheater! [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] And to further prove you’re not a real man, you asked for a tag match that specifically involved ME in it? What, are you hoping that since you can’t handle a real man you’ll see if you can handle a real woman instead? Guessing from how frigid Russia can be, something tells me you know nothing of that either. I wouldn’t be shocked if you couldn’t even find a female competitor to team with you tonight. [B][COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Khoklov not know how to deal with women you say? Well, Khoklov find partner tonight, and Khoklov’s partner woman you least suspect! [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LawrenceYoung.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MarkStanford.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] Wow, so Marat Khoklov did find a partner? Who do you think it could be?! [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Well, he’s an over the top Soviet communist and this company is about as predictable as a polio victim in a marathon so… Anna Ki, since she’s also Russian? [I]Some music of some sort that I don’t care enough to figure out plays and… Miss Information makes her way to the ring![/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MissInformation_alt02.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] Huh… I was wrong. How could they not have Anna be the ever so obvious pick for this match? [B][COLOR="royalblue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] I don’t know Mark, but she’s a deadly competitor in our women’s division! What a shocking turn of events! [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG]VS.[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MissInformation_alt02.jpg[/IMG] Bam Bam Johansson & Geena The Warrior Princess vs. Marat Khoklov & Miss Information[/CENTER][/B] [I]The two men started off the match against each other, trying to push the other around the ring with raw power and a complete lack of anything remotely resembling technique. Finally the competitors went at each other with back and forth volleys of stiff strikes, all of which was completely no sold by the other. Both of them came to the realization that the other simply wasn’t going to sell the other’s offense tonight they tagged in the women who bored the EWA fans with their impressive speed and ability. Thank god they’re both hot, because the EWA crowd likes that almost as much as Marat Khoklov’s 20 pound thumb muscles. Miss Information arm dragged Geena to the mat and locked in a very bland looking armlock of some sort, but after a few brief moments of not quite agonizing pain Geena managed to wiggle free and charge at Miss Information… and they both clothesline each other to the ground! And then they both started crawling slowing to their corners, what an original spot! They hit the tags at the same time and the ring groans in pain as both Bam Bam and Marat Khoklov sprint across it at speed that a turtle might consider sort of fast! They both launch a series of punches at each other and Bam Bam starts to get the advantage, and eventually Khoklov is dazed. Bam Bam bounces off the ropes and hits a SHOULDER BLOCK!! AND OTHER!!! And finally a third SHOULDER BLOCK!!! Marat Khoklov hits the ground briefly and pops back up, retreating into his corner as Bam Bam’s currently level of intensity forces him to flex to the crowd’s approval. Marat looks around in shock and… reaches backwards to tag in Miss Information! And he keeps his hand on her, lifting her up and over the ropes with one hand and tossing her at Bam Bam Johansson! She collides, sending Bam Bam stumbling backwards with her in his arms and Marat Khoklov steps over the top rope and starts retreating out the entrance. Bam Bam shrugs and locks Miss Information in the Backbreaker Hold to which she very quickly submits. Bam Bam Johansson and Geena The Warrior Princess defeated Marat Khoklov and Miss Information in 7:43 when Bam Bam Johansson defeated Miss Information by submission with a Backbreaker Hold.[/I] [B]Winners:[/B] Bam Bam Johansson and Geena The Warrior Princess [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JedHigh_alt3.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MissInformation_alt02.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Bam Bam and Geena take off after Marat Khoklov as Miss Information is still recovering in the ring… and Jed High leaps the barrier and hits the ring, taking out Miss Information with a tornado DDT the moment she stands up! He then lays a few boots to her before grabbing a microphone.[/I] [B]Jed High:[/B] I can’t goad you into a fight Toby? Who said anything about attempting to strike YOU down?! FACE ME YOU OLD FOOL, or more innocent women and children will SUFFER!!! NYAHAHAHHAHA!!!! [I]And as quickly as he entered, Jed High rolls out of the ring and runs back through the crowd. Random, I know.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG]VS.[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] Haiti Voodude vs. Louis Figo Manico: [U]EWA Universal Title Match[/CENTER][/B][/U] [I]Nothing too special to report early in this one. Haiti Voodude didn’t prove to be much of a match for Louis Figo Manico, but still managed to put up a decent enough fight for it to not be completely one sided. Voodude gambled with using tons of power moves to overwhelm the Fig, but the ever clever (rhyme!) Manico countered the majority of these attempts into textbook suplexes, followed by wearing him down with some intricate holds that even the EWA fans manage to mark out for. During one of these holds, however, Spiros the Mighty started making his way down to the ring! Manico didn’t notice him, as he was busy preventing Haiti Voodude from pulling Voodoo Dust out of his hat. Spiros wandered over to the announcer’s table, slapped down the small old man who rings the bell… and grabbed the EWA Universal title! Back in the ring, Voodude had scrambled back to his feet and went for the Voodoo Spiral, only to have Manico counter by ringing his arm around and kicking him in the gut, setting him up for the Madrid Maul… but Spiros dives into the ring with the belt in hand, smacking a surprised Manico in the face with it and causing the referee to call for the bell! Louis Figo Manico defeated Haiti Voodude in 12:27 following a disqualification. During the match we also had Spiros the Mighty run in and attack Louis Figo Manico.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Louis Figo Manico [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Amidst a chorus of boos, Spiros the Mighty holds the EWA Universal title high above his head. Manico slowly climbs back to his feet, barely able to keep anything resembling a balance. He turns around to face Spiros… and Spiros blasts him in the face with the belt a second time, absolutely leveling Manico! Oh the humanity, such violence doesn’t belong on EWA DVDs! They rent these things in SCHOOLS DAMNIT! Spiros raises the title high above the broken body of Manico’s again, before hugging it tightly onto his chest. With the belt still in his hands, Spiros the Mighty rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the entrance ramp, again raising the belt above his head! Despicable![/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="6"][B]Overall Rating: [COLOR="red"]C[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [U]OOC Notes:[/U] Not a bad show at all... a bit shocked I actually had a passable match out of Burning EXILE and Puffy. I guess sometimes it helps to have talent in the ring. Also, I promised to try and shorten my weekly shows and I've so far failed to do so... again, I need to look over my writing and thought process as it'll kill me to keep writing shows this long. Matches aren't as fun to write, so I guess I can try and cut down on them unless the mood strikes.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/EWAshow2b-1.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [quote][U]Quick Picks:[/U] Spiros the Mighty vs. Adam Matravers Jeri Behr vs. Miss Information Soviet Union vs. Burning Punishment Greg Keith vs. Inky The Squid Boy Bam Bam Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude Eddie Cornell vs. Marat Khoklov Frank De Pain vs. Louis Figo Manico[/quote]

[Thomnipotent]

^^^ marks for the Blame Journey.

[Tigerkinney]

[B]Spiros the Mighty[/B] vs. Adam Matravers [I]Spiros has been a getting a pretty big push, where as Matravers hasn't. Actual wrestling talent counts for very little in EWA.[/I] Jeri Behr vs. [B]Miss Information[/B] [I]Miss Information was involved in the mixed tag match, so as she's had a little more exposure I think she will pick up the win.[/I] [B]Soviet Union[/B] vs. Burning Punishment [I]You really want to push Soviet Union[/I] Greg Keith vs. [B]Inky The Squid Boy[/B] [I]Dear Mr Keith,[/I] [I]If you had chosen to sign with another promotion, you probably would have had a career that would rival that of your father's. But you chose EWA where you will be used and abused as a foreign jobber. You're still young Mr Keith so escape whilst you can, before you become tainted forever.[/I] [I]Your sincerely,[/I] [I]Concerned of England.[/I] [B]Bam Bam Johansson[/B] vs. Haiti Voodude [I]Johansson is the man [/I] Eddie Cornell vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] [I]Eddie will be crushed by Mother Russia ![/I] Frank De Pain vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] [I]Glorified Squash[/I]

[mistaken]

[B]Spiros the Mighty[/B] vs. Adam Matravers Jeri Behr vs. [B]Miss Information[/B] [B]Soviet Union[/B] vs. Burning Punishment [B]Greg Keith[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy Bam Bam Johansson vs. [B]Haiti Voodude[/B] Eddie Cornell vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] Frank De Pain vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B]

[Hyde Hill]

[B]Spiros the Mighty[/B] vs. Adam Matravers Jeri Behr vs. [B]Miss Information[/B] [B]Soviet Union [/B]vs. Burning Punishment Greg Keith vs. [B]Inky The Squid Boy[/B] [B]Bam Bam Johansson[/B] vs. Haiti Voodude Eddie Cornell vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] Frank De Pain vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico [/B] Glad i could help inspire you to return good stuff as ever

[UFC-KING]

[B]Spiros the Mighty[/B] vs. Adam Matravers [B]Jeri Behr[/B] vs. Miss Information [B]Soviet Union[/B] vs. Burning Punishment Greg Keith vs. [B]Inky The Squid Boy[/B] [B]Bam Bam Johansson[/B] vs. Haiti Voodude Eddie Cornell vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] [B]Frank De Pain[/B] vs. Louis Figo Manico Funny, I was just thinking of Inky the Squid Boy, and had to come check out the GDS TEW Dynasties

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling![/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]Once Again in Lubuskie Arena infront of 1000 fans who missed the part where we told them to suck it last week![/I][/CENTER] [SIZE="5"]Dark Show:[/SIZE] [B]Spiros the Mighty vs. Adam Matravers[/B] [I]No contest here, as Spiros the Mighty manhandled Adam Matravers with ease before crushing him with a Spartanplex for the win. Spiros the Mighty defeated Adam Matravers in 5:42 by pinfall with a Spartanplex.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Spiros the Mighty [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [I]Louis Figo Manico spent some more time teaching both Boris Kiriyakin and The Big Bad how to talk in front of a crowd, and absolutely none of it was worth mentioning save the fact that it happened.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]B-[/B][/COLOR] [B]Jeri Behr vs. Miss Information[/B] [I]Miss Information kept the speedy Jeri Behr grounded for most of the match, resulting in grappling the fans approved of before hitting the Lore (a Gore! Original, I know) for the finish. Miss Information defeated Jeri Behr in 5:35 by pinfall with a Lore.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Miss Information [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="5"]Main Show:[/SIZE] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BurningExile.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/AbrahamSlam.jpg[/IMG] Soviet Union vs. Burning Punishment[/B][/CENTER] [I]The Soviet Union simply overwhelmed Burning Punishment with their relentless strength and uncanny ability to no sell absolutely any form of offense. Poppa Punisher took a similar approach and managed to go toe to toe with against the Russian powerhouses, but made a critical mistake in teaming up with Burning EXILE. Dwarfed in size, EXILE decided that he could realistically take on The Big Bad if he took to a high risk offense. He was wrong. After leaping at The Big Bad off the turnbuckle, Big Bad caught him in mid air and hit the Soviet Slam for an easy pin. Soviet Union defeated Burning Punishment in 5:37 when The Big Bad defeated Burning EXILE by pinfall with a Soviet Slam.[/I] [B]Winners:[/B] Soviet Union [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D-[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GregGauge_alt1.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/InkyTheSquid.jpg[/IMG] Greg Keith vs. Inky the Squid Boy[/CENTER][/B] [I]In a rare sight, two Americans squared off in a EWA match! Not only that, but both rely on actual wrestling abilities as opposed to being really, really big. Keith did what he could to keep all of Inky’s tentacles wrapped up, but it was all for not after the Squid Boy hit a nice hurricanrana to set up the Squidsault for the win. Inky The Squid Boy defeated Greg Keith in 6:16 by pinfall with a Squidsault.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Inky the Squid Boy [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Geena the Warrior Princess stares intensely into the screen as Bam Bam Johansson flexes in front of a mirror that is mysteriously located in the middle of the hallway. A soft thumping noise in the background morphs into footsteps as a once again out of breath Lawrence Young sprints over to Geena with a microphone in hand.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] I believe I owe you an apology, Marat. Last week I accused you of being so lacking in anything resembling the twisted remains of what once may have been manhood because you wanted the chance to fight a woman instead of another man. [B][COLOR="Green"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] NOT COOL, BRO!!! YEAH!!! ER, NO!!!! [I]Bam Bam looks over at some random backstage members walking by and flexes for em! YEAH![/I] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] But I was completely wrong. During the mixed tag match last week at NO POINT did you enter the ring to fight me. And when “The Alpha Norwegian” himself- [B][COLOR="Green"]Bam Bam Johansson:[/COLOR][/B] MY NICKNAME!!! INTENSE!!! [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] You tucked your tail under your legs and ran off whimpering. You’re a pathetic excuse of a man, Marat, and despite what you seem to believe you do not deserve to be classified in the same league as THE Alpha Norwegian… [I][B]MORE FLEXING![/B][/I] [B][COLOR="darkred"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] Bam Bam Johansson! [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/HaitiVoodude.jpg[/IMG] Bam Bam Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude[/CENTER][/B] [I]Haiti Voodude has a really cool looking hat and some solid brawling skills, and maybe that was enough to convince some people he shouldn’t save himself the trouble and forfeit this match. Naturally, both of these guys simple presence was enough to illicit a positive reaction from the EWA crowd (the smartest crowd in pro wrestling!) and they cheered wildly for a match consisting of irish whips, strikes, and the odd bodyslam. Suddenly, out of the woodwork, Haiti Voodude dropped Bam Bam with beautiful DDT! He went for the cover… but Bam Bam PITCHED HIM OFF with authority after a one count! Shocked, Haiti Voodude started laying in punches, but Bam Bam starts flexing in the middle of the combo, seemingly ignoring the attack! Voodude bounces off the ropes, looking for some momentum… but Bam Bam counters with the SHOULDER BLOCK! And Bam Bam charges forward to hit another SHOULDER BLOCK! AND ANOTHER!!! He flexes for the crowd again… and hits the Alpha of Your Omega (new name for that crushing forearm strike)! The Alpha Norwegian stalks Voodude as he stumbles back up… and hits the BULL SHARK BUSTER/MARK OF THE ALPHA/SPINEBUSTERY FINISHER THING and gets the pin!! Bam Bam Johansson defeated Haiti Voodude in 7:35 by pinfall with a Spinebuster.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Bam Bam Johansson [B]Rating:[COLOR="red"] D[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Bam Bam’s 80s Hair Metal music plays as Patrick Garrett holds up his hand in victory… but something causes the entire ring to shudder, sending Bam Bam stumbling around the ring! A second shudder sends Garret flying out of the ring and Bam Bam is forced to grab the ropes to keep himself upright! And a third shudder sends Bam Bam to the mat, and he cannot see the twelve tons of biceps emerging from under the ring as...[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Marat Khoklov proceeds to climb into the ring, with a sledgehammer in hand. Marat stalks up behind Bam Bam and bludgeons him with the hammer repeatedly until the head of the hammer snaps off. Still not satisfied, he lifts up Bam Bam and hits a him with a Russian Legend Powerbomb to the outside of the ring! Oh the humanity![/I] [B]Rating:[COLOR="red"] B-[/B][/COLOR] [B][COLOR="red"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Geena, little American capitalist prostitute… you think it to be fun to antagonize Khoklov? You think Khoklov not have courage to seek revenge for unkind words, yes? You confuse Khoklov’s chivalrous nature of not fighting with little girl a sign of weakness? But in pitiful tirade, you convince Khoklov of something, little girl. You convinced Khoklov that you are, in fact, not little girl but another fat, American, capitalist cow. Khoklov has will to fight you, fat cow, only question is… do you have courage to face Khoklov next week? [I]Khoklov drops the microphone as medics help escort a severely injured Bam Bam Johansson out of the arena, with Marat chuckling at the sight.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EdwardCornell.jpg[/IMG] Marat Khoklov vs. Eddie Cornell[/B][/CENTER] [I]Marat simply stayed in the ring as a terrified looking Eddie Cornell nervously made his way into the ring. “Rugged Due Process” came at Marat with everything he had, but simply couldn’t get the Russian giant to budge (or sell, the bastard). Following a no sold dropkick from Cornell, Marat chuckled and blasted Eddie down with a huge overhand chop. All Eddie could do for the remainder of the match was try and kick out of pin attempts following a huge power move from Marat Khoklov. Tired of that little game, Marat nearly decapitated Eddie Cornell to pick up a predictable win. Marat Khoklov defeated Eddie Cornell in 7:43 by pinfall with a Moscow Lariat.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Marat Khoklov [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [I]Somewhere in the frigid, labyrinthine corridors of Lubuskie Arena…[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Emissary… I come before you with the trophy of which our masters have longed. [B]Booming Voice:[/B] Ah yes… the EWA Universal title… [B][COLOR="lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Pried from the vile hands of the man from the westlands! Emissary, my quest is complete… [B]Booming Voice:[/B] NO!!! [B][COLOR="lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] No? But, emissary, I hold upon my mortal hands the EWA Universal title, free of the three headed wolf in sheep’s clothing’s wicked taint! [B]Booming Voice:[/B] The taint remains, mortal! The quest laid before you by the Gods themselves remains incomplete! [B][COLOR="lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] But emissary, the title- [B]Booming Voice:[/B] Is in your hands, yes! But the means of which it was acquired were as treacherous as the man from the westlands. You have failed to defeat him in honorable combat, and as such you have failed to remove the taint from the great title! The Gods command that you keep physical possession of the belt and defeat the man from the westlands before your trials are complete! [B][COLOR="lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] I understand, emissary… I shall not fail the Gods or Greece, and thy bidding shall be done. [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [I]In a different, and equally freezing, area of Lubuskie Arena…[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="DarkOrange"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] Is anyone else seeing this? Spiros has stolen my hard earned championship, and now to try and justify it he’s having a conversation with a mysterious voice? Congratulations my main man, you managed to pay a college student 20 Euros to hide off camera and read some of your nonsense in a cheesy voice. Simply put, I have become at loss for words. He is like a crazy person, or more fittingly, he IS a crazy person! Last week he stole my belt, and then proceeded to accost me with it from behind. Spiros spouts his rhetoric about me being an “evil man”, while he steals the EWA Universal title based off of fictitious claims. What kind of example does that set for the young people of this great continent? A poor one, my main man, it sets a poor example. But Louis Figo Manico vows to set a better example! If it is honorable competition you desire Spiros, than Manico shall show the world that honor and hard work will triumph over your lies and deceit. [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/FrankDePain.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] Frank De Pain vs. Louis Figo Manico[/CENTER][/B] [I]Ruud Van Anger gave Manico a run for his Euros, so why not give his tag partner a chance to shine too, right? Frank De Pain did his best impression of his partner, and even managed to grapple a bit with Manico (who for the most part would then pitch him across the ring with a suplex of various sorts.) Manico started to take complete control of the match when Spiros The Mighty came down to ringside with the EWA Universal title in hand, light gleaming off of its perfection and catching the eye of Manico! LFM gives a few harsh words to Spiros, leaning over the ropes to emphasize his point, but turns around… into a head scissors takedown courtesy of Frank De Pain! FDP climbs the turnbuckle, looking for the Orange Wave… but Manico rolls out of the way, causing the little Dutchman’s body to slap painfully against the mat. Wasting no time, Manico hooks De Pain’s arms and hits the Madrid Maul and gets the pin. Louis Figo Manico defeated Frank De Pain in 14:53 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Louis Figo Manico [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Before the bell can finish ringing and Manico can get all the way to his feet, Spiros slides into the ring and clotheslines The Fig in the back of the neck! Manico hits the mat and Spiros lays the boots to him viciously! The Fig manages to struggle back to his feet, trying to fight back, exchanging punches with Spiros… but Spiros with a swift (well, sorta swift) kick to the gut and he hits the Wrath of the Gods and Manico flops limply onto the ground.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Hark, and give heed wicked man… The hour of your passing is upon us. Soon, by the decree of THE GODS THEMSELVES, the EWA shall be rid of your vileness. It has been spoken in prophecies by the blind seer himself that an evil man shall taint the belt now under my possession, and that the taint may only be removed once a Champion of the Gods has vanquished the offending party! Prepare yourself, wicked man, for soon you shall be at one with Hades in the vast underworld! [I]Manico is trying to pull himself back to his feet using the ropes.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkOrange"]Louis Figo Manico:[/COLOR][/B] My…. MY vileness? My main man… I am but an honorable and just individual. It is you who is wicked, it is you who is- [I]Semi-swift kick to the gut, and Spiros hits a SECOND Wrath of the Gods, leveling Manico midsentence![/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Do not pollute thine ears with your treacherous words! Every syllable which slithers from your mouth, wicked man, is but a cobra preparing to strike upon the innocent and pure! Next time we face in the ring, I shall be the mongoose which strikes upon the throat of your words before their venom slaughters again! [I]Spiros drops the microphone and heads back out the entrance way, once again with the EWA Universal title in his hand… and with Louis Figo Manico decimated in the ring to end the show… again.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="6"][B]Overall Rating: [COLOR="red"]C+[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/EWAshow3.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [quote][B][U]Quick Picks:[/U][/B] Greg Keith vs. Eddie Cornell Danny Patterson vs. White Knight Double Dutch vs. The Force: EWA Tag Team titles Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Doctor Insane Geena The Warrior Princess vs. Marat Khoklov Louis Figo Manico vs. Burning EXILE Spiros The Mighty vs. Inky The Squid Boy[/quote]

[Tigerkinney]

Greg Keith vs. [B]Eddie Cornell[/B] [I]Simply because he's European[/I] Danny Patterson vs. [B]White Knight[/B] [I]Nothing like a good hoss-fest in EWA, White Knight should edge this[/I] [B]Double Dutch[/B] vs. The Force: EWA Tag Team titles [I]Something really screwy like Double Dutch winning,but not winning the belts due to The Force getting themselves counted out. [/I] [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Doctor Insane [I]I'll expect a Golf Club to come into play[/I] Geena The Warrior Princess vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] [I]This wont be pretty, it's a 7 ft giant against a woman. [/I] [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [I]Never back against the Fig.[/I] [B]Spiros The Mighty[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy [I]Size matters in EWA[/I]

[Comradebot]

Aye, I guess I should get around to actually tallying up all these votes at some point. Lords knows I'm too lazy, but it'll get done eventually. Right now, I'm just focused on actually getting some shows done. With any luck, I'll atleast have the card for the next large EWA event up by the end of the week. I'd really like to catch up to where I am in game, but... hell, I'm at Week 1 of December there, meaning I have half a year's worth of writing to do. Balls.

[Hyde Hill]

Greg Keith vs. [B]Eddie Cornell[/B] Danny Patterson vs. [B]White Knight[/B] [B]Double Dutch[/B] vs. The Force: EWA Tag Team titles [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Doctor Insane Geena The Warrior Princess vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [B]Spiros The Mighty[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy

[mirorFR]

Greg Keith vs. [B]Eddie Cornell[/B] Danny Patterson vs. [B]White Knight[/B] [B]Double Dutch[/B] vs. The Force: EWA Tag Team titles [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player[/B] vs. Doctor Insane [B]Geena The Warrior Princess[/B] vs. Marat Khoklov [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] vs. Burning EXILE Spiros The Mighty vs. [B]Inky The Squid Boy [/B]

[GruntMark]

[B]Greg Keith [/B]vs. Eddie Cornell Danny Patterson vs. [B]White Knight[/B] Double Dutch vs. [B]The Force[/B]: EWA Tag Team titles [B]Puffy The Sand Iron Player [/B]vs. Doctor Insane Geena The Warrior Princess vs. [B]Marat Khoklov[/B] [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] vs. Burning EXILE [B]Spiros The Mighty[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling![/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]From Bayern Stadion in front of 1735 fans![/I][/CENTER] [SIZE="5"]Dark Show:[/SIZE] [B]Greg Keith vs. Eddie Cornell[/B] [I]A solid bout between two rather equally matched workers in this one, but Greg Keith made a mistake while grappling with Eddie Cornell, who managed to lock in the Blame Journey to force a submission Eddie Cornell defeated Greg Keith in 5:58 by submission with a Blame Journey.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Eddie Cornell [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [B]Danny Patterson vs. White Knight[/B] [I]BAW GAWD A COUPLE OF HOSSES! Despite being at a size disadvantage, White Knight matched the power of Danny Patterson and eventually hit the For The King for the win.[/I] [I]White Knight defeated Danny Patterson in 5:32 by pinfall with a For The King.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] White Knight [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D-[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="5"]Main Show:[/SIZE] [CENTER][B][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Tag.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/FrankDePain.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JedHigh_alt3.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg[/IMG] Double Dutch vs. The Force: [U]EWA Tag Team titles[/B][/CENTER][/U] [I]Frank De Pain started the match off against Jed High technically, though Jed High immediately tagged in Toby Juan Kanobi. The two speedsters bounced around the ring with blazingly boring levels of flashiness and athleticism that the EWA crowd isn’t too fond of. Frank remained extremely elusive, and finally dropped Toby to the ground with a springboard pele kick. FDP bounced onto the turnbuckle and came flying off, only to have Toby muster every ounce of strength left in his body to catch him out of the air with the Kanobi Cutter! Both workers started to crawl to their corners, but before Toby Juan could get to Jed High, Jed High jumped into the ring and superkicked his own partner in the face. Ruud Van Anger came in, shrugged, and easily came off the top rope to hit the Dutch Courage for the win and become the NEW EWA Tag Team champions! Double Dutch defeated The Force in 9:53 when Ruud Van Anger defeated Toby Juan Kanobi by pinfall with a Dutch Courage. During the match we also had Jed High turn on Kanobi. Double Dutch win the EWA Tag Team titles.[/I] [B]Winners: [/B]Double Dutch [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Puffy.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/DrInsane.jpg[/IMG] Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Doctor Insane[/CENTER][/B] [I]Doctor Insane forgot to bring his Geritol to arena tonight, and spent the entire match hobbling around making old man noises while Puffy wailed on him with strikes. The fans turned on the match a bit, as no one wanted to see an old man break his hip. Thankfully, his hip stayed intact when Puffy mercifully ended this snoozer with the Under Par. Puffy The Sand Iron Player defeated Doctor Insane in 5:56 by pinfall with an Under Par.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Puffy The Sand Iron Player [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]E+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/JoeyBeauchamp.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]With his generic, non-descript in-house music playing, Joey Beauchamp emerges from behind the cheap blue tarp (IT’S A TARP) at the entry way. Smirking like a douche bag the entire way, Joey Beauchamp eventually rolls into the ring.[/I] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] Ladies, gentlemen, and the one soddin’ transvestite backstage of whom I plan to address… I come before you all with an apology. Ya see, I wasn’t here last week to address the ongoing trouble this company has had with gender confusion, and that’s not cool. And blimey, I don’t like to be a part of things that aren’t cool, because I AM cool… I’m the Breeze! *Cue cheap pop and goofy ass grin* So, Mr. or Ms. Byron, I’d like to rectify- [I]Obnoxious techno music cuts off Joe Beauchamp and Byron very gingerly strolls through the entry tarp! He dramatically flings his golden locks out of his face and raises a microphone of his own. But, before he can speak…[/I] [B][COLOR="teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] I said “rectify”, not rectum ya pillow-biter. [I]The few three British people in the audience who know what that term means chuckle with immature amusement, including EWA’s very own Mark Stanford.[/I] [B]Byron:[/B] A-ha, a-ha, a-ha, Joey. How so very clever of you. Perhaps you would like to refer to me as some more childish vulgarities? Or maybe- [B][COLOR="teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] Screw that “or maybe”, option one sounds like a winner already! [B]Byron:[/B] I was not presenting you with an option upon which- [B][COLOR="teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] Ponce, tosser, willie, pillock, twit, ponce… tell me if any of these aren’t accurate descriptions of ya. Seriously, wouldn’t want to “slander your honour” or some bollocks like that now would I? [B]Byron:[/B] Oh, Mr. Beauchamp… I am positive you believe that such adolescent remarks and insidious insults makes you appear to be “cool”, but I assure you that patrons of this venue are of a higher standard than your low brow attempts at “humour”. [B][COLOR="teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] But… I AM cool, I’m the BREEZE!!! [I]Again Joey bounces around like a jackass with that damnable grin on his face.[/I] [B][COLOR="teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] And following the age old philosophy of “it takes one to know one” I, as someone who is cool, know that the only thing cool about you Byron is the space in your knickers where your knackers should be. Because if we switch classes from philosophy to math, we can figure out a pretty simple equation that goes something like this: (Byron + Brass knuckles – Adam Matravers)/The Breeze= You’re a soddin’, cheap fightin’ bastard. [B]Byron:[/B] Slanderous lies! How dare you insult my honour, you… you... you no good ruffian! [B][COLOR="teal"]Joey Beauchamp:[/COLOR][/B] Wait… so when I reveal to all of Europe that you’re a horrible he/she freak of nature, you don’t care, but the moment I mention that you smacked lil’ Adam over the head with brass knuckles… that’s when you get all riled up? [B]Byron:[/B] I committed no such treachery, Joey Beauchamp, and will not stand idly by while you tarnish my good name. I demand satisfaction! Bring a second upon the night of European Union of Doom, for we shall settle this like gentlemen! [I]Byron flicks his hair around dramatically as he turns and heads back through the entry tarp, leaving Beauchamp grinning moronically in the ring.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BamBamJohansson_alt2.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Meanwhile, in the headquarters of the Alpha League of Europe… (though Lawrence Young informs us that by “meanwhile” we mean that this was pre-filmed an hour ago)[/I] [B]Generic Doctor:[/B] I’m sorry Mr. Johansson… you’ll never walk again. [SIZE="6"]DUN DUN DUNNNNNN[/SIZE] [I]Bam Bam flexes with his upper body while sitting in a wheelchair.[/I] [B] Generic Doctor:[/B] Mr. Johansson, did you hear me? You’re paralyzed from the waist down, you’ll never walk again, let alone wrestle Mr. Johansson? [B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Geena:[/COLOR][/B] It’s okay doctor, he hears you. Random flexing is just how he expresses anguish… and happiness… and anger… and confidence… and sometimes guilt. Please doctor, there must be something we can do for him! I can’t stand to see him suffer like this… [I]Bam Bam proceeds to keep flexing.[/I] [B]Generic Doctor:[/B] Well, there may be one thing, but it’s a longshot at best and he’ll have to leave for the remote northern city of Longyearbyen immediately… [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] Geena the Warrior Princess vs. Marat Khoklov[/CENTER][/B] [I]With Bam Bam Johansson likely already on his way to distant Longyearbyen, Geena entered the ring alone and waited as Marat Khoklov lumbered down the entry way to the ring. Before the big man could even get in the ring Geena was on him with a double axe handle followed by a volley of strikes. Marat eventually managed to use his raw power to shove her backwards and throw his other leg over the ropes, only to be met with a sharp discus punch from Geena… that he no sold before head butting her to the ground. Severely disadvantaged in terms of physical strength, Geena proceed to be tossed around repeatedly and in various, mostly painful, fashions by Marat Khoklov. The feisty female star refused to stay down and managed to get some momentum back with a brilliant combo of forearms and knees to the bulgy ab muscles of Marat Khoklov. With Marat stumbling, she bounced off the ropes for momentum… only to be caught by a Moscow Lariat from Marat Khoklov which snapped her head back in a sickening manner! Marat places one foot on her to very arrogantly get the pin. Marat Khoklov defeated Geena The Warrior Princess in 7:57 by pinfall with a Moscow Lariat.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Marat Khoklov [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/GeenaPrincess.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] [/CENTER][/B] [I]Khoklov remains in the ring, stalking Geena The Warrior Princess as she slowly struggles to her feet. She turns around… and right into another Moscow Lariat![/I] [B][COLOR="red"]Marat Khoklov:[/COLOR][/B] Little capitalist prostitute should know better than to resist might of Khoklov. She should have laid back and accepted defeat rather than beckon the wrath of One Man Red Army. Khoklov realize that capitalists not know true might of the Motherland, so perhaps further demonstration is required, yes? [I]Marat Khoklov drops the microphone and stomps Geena once in the chest, causing her to wince in indescribable pain. Grabbing her by the back of the neck, Marat Khoklov lifts Geena back to her feet before delivering a pair of stiff clubbing blows across her back to put an end to her futile attempts to struggle. Marat heaves Geena over his head in a Powerbomb position…[/I] [B][COLOR="Blue"]Lawrence Young:[/COLOR][/B] GREAT GLITTERING JESUS, DON’T DO IT!!! [I]And hits the Russian Legend Powerbomb on Geena from the inside of the ring all the way to the outside AND through the announcer’s table, sending Mark Stanford’s drink (and a terrified Lawrence Young) flying off into the crowd in the process![/I] [B]Mark Stanford:[/B] I can’t believe it!… They spilled my tea. [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BurningExile.jpg[/IMG] Louis Figo Manico vs. Burning EXILE[/CENTER][/B] [I]The beltless champion took out some of his frustration towards the recent situation in this matchup, as the technical wizard pitched EXILE around the ring with textbook suplexes. The flashy high flier was kept grounded by LFM’s mat work (even though EXILE managed to all but match LFM in this regard) until Manico managed to take full advantage and simply wrestle Burning EXILE into position to hit the Madrid Maul for an easy pinfall. Louis Figo Manico defeated Burning EXILE in 7:58 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Louis Figo Manico [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/InkyTheSquid.jpg[/IMG] Spiros the Mighty vs. Inky the Squid Boy[/CENTER][/B] [I]Despite knowing he should be screwed since he’s a high flier against a powerhouse, Inky did what he could to stay competitive, which for Inky basically meant staying out of Spiros’s reach. Spiros spent most of the match chasing Inky around the ring with little offense from either side until, during one of Inky’s hit and run style attacks, went for a flying mare that Spiros countered by simply pitching him backside first to the mat. Inky couldn’t get up in time to avoid a running clothesline from Spiros, and his dreams of somehow pulling out a miracle victory ended there. Spiros softened Inky up with a few more power moves before sealing the deal with a devastating as always Spartanplex for the win. Spiros the Mighty defeated Inky The Squid Boy in 11:38 by pinfall with a Spartanplex.[/I] [B]Winner:[/B] Spiros the Mighty [B]Rating: [COLOR="red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Spiros retrieves a microphone and the stolen EWA Universal title (which no one thought to return to LFM) from ringside and climbs back into the squared circle.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] HARK and give heed! Behold people of the Germanic Tribes… the EWA Universal title, no longer in possession of wicked hands. Vile man of the west, the era of your treachery has come to a close, your… [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]Out of the crowd, Louis Figo Manico hurdles the barrier and slides into the ring behind Spiros The Mighty! Unfortunately, Spiros manages to catch him out of the corner of his eye and dives out of the ring, still holding the EWA Universal title. Spiros sprints out the entry way and through the official EWA Entrance Tarp with Louis Figo Manico in hot pursuit![/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]C[/B][/COLOR] [I]Spiros is still sprinting through the halls of Bayern Stadion when he happens upon a most curious duo…[/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [B][COLOR="Gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] The rain… in Spain… falls evenly… [I]Boris Kiriyakin throws a hand back into The Big Bad’s, stopping his tag partner from wandering past the Greek running towards them.[/I] [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] Warriors of the Working Class, I beseech thee! Treachery’s breathe is at my heels, stalking my every move. Join me in combat that the glory of which shall be sung by the gods themselves! [B][COLOR="Gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] On the… [B][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR][/B] Glory? Glory does not feed the young, clothe the cold, or liberate the oppressed. This glory you speak of we cannot ship back to the Motherland to support our suffering brothers and sisters in their war against the bourgeoisie. [B][COLOR="Lime"]Spiros:[/COLOR][/B] HA! You speak of the wisdom of Plato. If it is not honor, but physical materials which you seek, than I shall pay the fare for your services with ample monetary value. What say you, Working Class Warrior? [I]Spiros pulls a massive wad of cash from his tights (hopefully he had a pocket in there somewhere) and hands it to Boris Kiriyakin.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR][/B] By Lenin’s ghost! Comrade, with this, we can purchase medicine that brother requires gravely, and still have enough for father to buy new goat! [B][COLOR="Gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] On the… [I]Naturally, this is the point where Louis Figo Manico comes rushing through the hallway towards Spiros The Mighty.[/I] [B][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR][/B] Sorry, Mr. Manico… [I] The Soviet Union spring into action as Louis tries to lunge at Spiros, tossing him violently against the wall and quickly beating him into the ground with their raw power. [/I] [B][COLOR="darkslategray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR][/B] ...but brother has the cholera, and without proper medicine may not make it to harvest. [B][COLOR="Gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] ON THE- [SIZE="5"][B]WHAM![/B][/SIZE] [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] PLAIN! ON THE- [SIZE="5"][B]WHACK![/B][/SIZE] [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] PLAIN! ON THE- [B][SIZE="5"]NEWT![/SIZE][/B] [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] PLAIN! [I]The damage done, the Soviet Union leave Louis Figo Manico decimated on the ground as they walk off counting their newly acquired roll of cash.[/I] [B]Rating: [COLOR="Red"]B-[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="6"][B]Show Rating: [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [U]OOC Notes:[/U] One of the weakest shows I've booked in Central Europe recently, and it really demoralized me when I was writing this up. This show just... I dunno.. didn't feel right when I laid it out, but everything in it was needed. And looking over my writing with it, it shows. Not my best work, but hey, it happens. I'll get it next time!

[Phantom Stranger]

...Newt?

[Maximilian_WWW]

Just read through this. Pretty funny and good so far. Marking for The Big Bad and his charisma trials. And Manico of course. Hopefully you'll update this a bit more often than once a month ;). Keep it up!

[Comradebot]

[QUOTE=Maximilian_WWW;541602]Just read through this. Pretty funny and good so far. Marking for The Big Bad and his charisma trials. And Manico of course. [B]Hopefully you'll update this a bit more often than once a month ;). Keep it up![/QUOTE][/B] You know, I always mean to. I enjoy writing these... its a good creative outlet that I don't have to worry about actually achieving anything with. But, naturally, something will distract me and then it'll suddenly be a week since my last update. I'll try and get the next card up tonight for those wanting to make predictions, and hopefully in a couple days have the next show up. My girlfriend is coming over for two days, so, that may cause some minor delay.

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/EWAshow4.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [Quote] [U]Quick Picks:[/U] Danny Patterson vs. Ruud Van Anger Byron vs. Inky The Squid Boy Boris Kiriyakin vs. Louis Figo Manico The Big Bad vs. Louis Figo Manico[/quote]

[Hyde Hill]

Danny Patterson vs. [B]Ruud Van Anger[/B] [B]Byron[/B] vs. Inky The Squid Boy Boris Kiriyakin vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico[/B] The Big Bad vs. [B]Louis Figo Manico [/B] Whoot its back! PS the link for the merchandise didn't work and I wanted my bullshark protienes!!!!!

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [SIZE="4"][U][SIZE="4"][B][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER]EWA European Wrestling! [/CENTER][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/U][/SIZE][I][CENTER]June 2009 Week 2 From Pireas Sports Hall in front of 71 fans![/I] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]To a “thunderous” chorus of boos from all 71 people in attendance today, Byron saunters rather effeminately down to the ring.[/I] [B]Byron:[/B] Fair ladies and noble gentlemen… I come before you as but an honorable guest, NAY, a modern day gladiator in this most barbaric of venues. It has reached upon my ears that the peasants of these lands have no faith that I, the great Byron, possess the ability to vanquish that uncouth thug known as… Beauchamp. On this night there shall be a demonstration the likes of which shall cast all doubt into the abyss! [B][COLOR="Red"]E+[/COLOR][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/DannyPatterson.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/RuudVanAnger.jpg[/IMG] Danny Patterson vs. Ruud Van Anger[/CENTER][/B] [I]RVA spent most of the match flopping around the ring in desperation, as he found himself quite incapable of much offense against Patterson, who is literally twice his size and tossed the small Dutchmen around the ring like a nanny with a baby. After Patterson powerslammed him to mat… Byron jumped onto the apron! Patterson walked over to him exchanging words and got caught with a hangman by Byron! Patterson hit the ground choking, and a confused looking RVA climbed the turnbuckle to hit the Dutch Courage for an astonishing victory.[/I] [B]Ruud Van Anger defeated Danny Patterson in 7:33 by pinfall with a Dutch Courage. [COLOR="red"]D-[/B][/COLOR] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/DannyPatterson.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [I]RVA walks out, still trying to figure out how he got Danny Patterson on the ground… and Byron steps back into the ring with a chair on hand. He waits for Patterson to stand back up, flicks his hair out of his eyes, and cracks Patterson in the face with the chair! As an exclamation point, he musters all the strength he has to lift Patterson up and hit the Upper Class on the crumbling Tower of London. Satisfied, Byron wipes his hands clean with a handkerchief, flicks his hair again, and walks calmly out of the arena.[/I] [B][COLOR="red"]D+[/COLOR][/B] [I]The 12” TV serving as tonight’s Euro-tron flickers to life and shows us a (tiny and grainy) view backstage, where Phoebe Plumridge is with the Soviet Union in their locker room (complete with Soviet music playing in the background, Soviet flags, and an altar to Lenin.) Let’s watch![/I] [CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/PhoebePlumridge.jpg[/IMG]w/[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [COLOR="Green"][B]Phoebe Plumridge:[/B][/COLOR] Boris Kiriyakin, last week you and your partner brutally assaulted Louis Figo Manico. Was this really for money, or was there another motive behind your actions? [B][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR] [/B]Little woman, let me tell you about Communism. Communism is wonderful tool to bring all peoples of the world together. Unfortunately, fat capitalist pigs such as you take advantage of noble Communism. Thieving members of the bourgeoisie pillage from hard working members of proletariat. When one proletariat loses money, all proletariat loses money. So Boris, how you say, fight fire with fire. We take money back from capitalist, and send them to Motherland. We are like Soviet versions of, uhh… that English pansy man hero in tights… Rob… Robby… Robin… [B][COLOR="Gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] PETER PAAAAAAN! [B][COLOR="darkslategray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR][/B] Da, we are like the Peter Pan. [B][COLOR="green"]Phoebe Plumridge:[/COLOR][/B] Well, tonight you both face the man you were paid to attack, Louis Figo Manico, for the EWA Universal title in a gauntlet match. The Big Bad, what are your thoughts on this? [B][COLOR="gray"]The Big Bad:[/COLOR][/B] I AM THE BIG BAAAAAAD! [B][COLOR="green"]Phoebe Plumridge:[/COLOR][/B] Okay… Boris? [B][COLOR="darkslategray"]Boris Kiriyakin:[/COLOR][/B] Last week’s attack on Louis Figo Manico was strictly in name of government owned business, and tonight Soviet Union shall claim EWA Universal title for Motherland. We shall parade Universal title around Red Square before selling it to capitalist fats cats so all of proletariat may live as equal kings, while former kings beg to join us! For Russia, for Lenin, for the Communism! [B][COLOR="Red"]C+[/COLOR][/B] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/Byron.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/InkyTheSquid.jpg[/IMG] Byron vs. Inky the Squid Boy[/CENTER][/B] [I]Byron returned to the arena for a match tonight (hey, I’ve already paid him!), to take on a man who the crowd here actually cares about do to his time with UEW. Byron made them pay for using their knowledge gained from an inferior promotion as he soundly took control of the match, slapping and bodyslamming Inky without mercy before finishing him off with an Upper Class.[/I] [B]Byron defeated Inky The Squid Boy in 8:03 by pinfall with an Upper Class. [COLOR="red"]D+[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/BorisKiriyakin.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] Boris Kiriyakin vs. Louis Figo Manico: [U]EWA Universal title[/CENTER][/B][/U] [I]Manico practically toyed with his much larger, but exceedingly clumsy and single minded opponent. Boris managed to lay in a few good punches and occasionally use his power to push LFM around the ring, but for the most part Manico left him dumfounded with clever takedowns, intricate submissions holds, and even using Boris’s own momentum to suplex the Soviet powerhouse viciously. Kiriyakin could only no sell so much of Manico’s offense before a Madrid Maul meant he’d have to stay down for three or face the wrath of the EWA staff who want to Madrid Maul to be viewed as a devastating finishing move.[/I] [B]Louis Figo Manico defeated Boris Kiriyakin in 7:58 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul. Louis Figo Manico makes defence number 15 of his EWA Universal title. [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [B][CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA_Universal_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/TheBigBad.jpg[/IMG]VS[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/LouisFigoManico.jpg[/IMG] The Big Bad vs. Louis Figo Manico: EWA Universal title[/CENTER][/B] [I]“The Pain From Spain” had little time to rest as The Big Bad lumbered into the ring at his top speed (which is walking speed for most folks) and started laying into the Spaniard with powerful clubbing blows. While Boris stood little chance it seemed of defeating LFM, it appeared the damage was already done as Manico struggled to turn the tide against The Big Bad. Tactfully, Manico started working The Big Bad’s right knee with chop blocks and kicks, and finally put him on the ground by countering a big boot into a dragon leg whip. A leg grapevine was applied afterwards, further gimping the Soviet Superheavyweight. With The Big Bad hobbled, Manico pulled another Madrid Maul out of nowhereish and somehow managed to utilize it on his significantly larger opponent to sweep the Soviet Union 2-0.[/I] [B]Louis Figo Manico defeated The Big Bad in 7:50 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul. Louis Figo Manico makes defence number 16 of his EWA Universal title. [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="6"][B]Show Rating: [COLOR="red"]C-[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [quote] [U]OOC Notes:[/U] A short show due to the lack of popularity I currently have in the Mediterranean. That'll change one day, but until then it means any show I hold there is relatively short and I don't expect awesome ratings from them. Still, Manico is a true man of magic for this company and singlehandely saved this show. I have no misguided beliefs that Boris and The Big Bad were the chief contributors of those C- matches! Also, it's GREAT to be back![/quote]

[Comradebot]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/EWAshow5.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [quote] [U]Quick Picks:[/U] Boris Kiriyakin vs. Doctor Insane White Knight vs. Bam Bam Johansson Burning Punishment (Burning EXILE & Poppa Punisher) vs. Double Dutch Marat Khoklov vs. Danny Patterson Haiti Voodude vs. Greg Keith Spiros The Mighty vs. Toby Juan Kanobi Jed High vs. Louis Figo Manico: EWA Universal title Should have more than a few hours to pick this time around... got something else to write up before I get to the show and sleep to catch. [/quote]