Australian Pro Wrestling

Rathen4 · January 16, 2011

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Australian Pro Wrestling

APW’s Big Night Out

Saturday Week 3 February 2010

569 in attendance

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The show opens with a standard musical intro as the engineers test the internet feed, and barring a few minor blips with a buffering issue, the show goes live just as the commentators are introducing the opening match of the night

Mitch Y. Bryson: An exciting first match to start off the Big Night Out – Crime Wave are a scrappy little team not be underestimated.

Frank Mucciolo: Hey! There’s a fan on the ramp! Looks like some horrific homeless dude too – security get him out of here!

MB: Frank.. that’s Boo Smithson. Feared technical wrestler and possibly the best in the APW on the ground.

FM: That’s because he sleeps there!

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Dingo and Boo vs. Crimewave

MB: Rumour has it that Crimewave are constantly being monitored by the management backstage for what people believe are.. illicit deals. Will that affect their in-ring performance at all tonight? Dingo and Boo are a fantastic pairing – Dingo will smash the life out of you with suplex after suplex – and then Boo will make you pass out.

FM: With his smell.

MB: What?

FM: Dude needs a haircut and a wash. Seriously. Look at him.

The action: Crimewave are surprisingly competent considering they don’t actually look like they care, but as Bryson said, this is a little lopsided. Dingo and Boo have a usual plan of attack – Dingo kicks off with some massive and repeated suplexes, then Boo comes in for a while to wear people down with some holds. When Dingo has his strength back, he tags in Boo again, and they double suplex D.O.A together, before Boo scrambles round and locks in the Chicken Wing Crossface. D.O.A taps quickly!

Rating: 38 / D-

FM: I’d have tapped if I had that sweaty, terrible mess on top of me.

MB: I think it was more the fact he’d had every breath smashed out of him before the lock was applied, Frank.

FM: You know that’s a lie. Hell, even Games Workshop stores have a hygiene policy on the door. Why can’t we?

MB: I.. just.. Frank, we’re heading backstage now where Lucien Wilder has The Masters ready to speak to us.

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Lucien Wilder with The Masters and Sean Quartermainne

Lucien looks very nervous throughout, with Williams and Peterson repeatedly making watch checking motions – with neither of them wearing a watch..

Lucien Wilder: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time – The Masters; Lanny Williams and Debonair David Peterson – and their manager and APW Commissioner Sean Quartermainne. Gents, thank you for your time.

Lanny Williams: Thank us by getting this crap over and done with.

Debonair David Peterson: Sean, you’re Commish. I’ve got a match. Cancel this now.

Sean Quartermainne: Lads, relax. This is the perfect time to address two areas. Firstly, The East Coast Rebels. I’m not sure why you’re rebelling against the East Coast, boys, but don’t include us in your silly little games. If you continue to try to disrupt the tag scene in the APW, you’ll find yourselves fired quicker than you can say-

LW: Your mothers are whores.

Peterson chokes on laughter whilst Quartermainne looks disdainful.

SQ: Quite. Rick Stantz and Blake Belushi. Tonight isn’t going to be a happy one for you. And next month it’ll be even worse. As APW Commissioner, I am officially sanctioning a match for the tag titles at APW’s Fight Night.

LW: And it’ll be a submission match. You little sons of bitches are going to tap out.

SQ: Normal stipulations, Lan-

DDP: Ahem. Sean.. if Mr. Williams, untactful as he is, wants it to be a submission match, you should really listen to him.

SQ: Well. Lanny, defeat Belushi via submission tonight, and you get the submission match next week. I don’t want to risk this. Wilder, we’re done here.

Lucien’s interview concludes as, frustrated, he tears up a cue card which appears to have been full of questions. He asked none of them.

Rating: 46 / D

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Lanny Williams (with Sean Quartermainne) vs. Blake Belushi (with Steph Drucker)

MB: Let’s face it. We’re expecting some form of interference very quickly here from The East Coast Rebels.

FM: That can only liven things up. Lanny’s just going to try to take this to the ground and tap Belushi out. If I wanted to watch two sweaty men rolling around on the floor..

The Action: A technically sound match, of course. Lanny proves that you don’t always have to cheat to win – Blake was simply unable to escape his clutches and eventually Williams locked on the figure four leg lock for the win.

MB: So it’s a submission match next month at Fight Night for the APW Tag Team titles!

FM: This plays massively into the hands of The Masters. The Blondes don’t know any sub moves..

MB: I’m sure you’ve already said that.

Glowering and wincing, Belushi drops down to ringside with Steph, as does Williams. Their partners’ matches are up next.

Rating: 47 / D

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Debonair David Peterson (with Sean Quartermainne and Lanny Williams) vs. Rick Stantz (with Steph Drucker and Blake Belushi)

MB: An absolutely stacked ringside area now.. safety in numbers tonight.

FM: The Rebels would be fools to attack now – but what would The Masters actually do about it?

The Action: A far more even match as Stantz is rather the more talented of The Blondes, but Peterson looked to have it under control. Suddenly the ringside area devolves into a brawl as the Rebels, Alyx Macquarie and Cole Taylor, come out of the crowd and get involved. Macquarie gets into the ring and strikes Peterson right in the mouth, prompting the referee to award the DQ to Rick Stantz, but the brawl continues shows no sign of stopping.

Rating: 48 / D+

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Following the match being thrown out, it devolves into a full blown brawl between all three teams. The Rebels gang up on the Blondes, but overextend into the Masters. They get put on their backs, and The Blondes and Masters stare each other down over the bodies. With a collective nod which basically says “Screw these guys”, they pick up the Rebels and dump them over the top rope. Giving them a little head start, cackling and laughing the whole time, the Masters and the Blondes chase the Rebels up the ramp and presumably out of the building. Notably, at one point Cole Taylor actually slips off the side of the ramp, prompting a rather abusive crowd chant.

MB: A truly bizarre alliance there – but with a tag team title match next week, how long can it last?

FM: If the Blondes think for one minute that this has curried them any favour with Peterson and Williams, they are absolute idiots. The submission match next week is going to be awesome. I repeat.. do the Blondes even know any technical holds?

MB: Nothing quite as feared as Lanny’s figure four, that’s for sure.

Rating: 35 / E+

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Killdozer vs. The Rising Sons

MB: The normally enthusiastic Sons look beaten before they even get in the ring.

FM: They absolutely are. Imagine coming to the ring with that monster staring you down from it.

MB: Especially if he considers he’s being punished with this match.

The Action: Yes. Ouch. Mackenzie is an angry, angry dude. The Sons have a brief moment at the start of the match where they chop the big guy down and manage to hit a standing senton on him followed by an elbow drop – but he struggles back to his feet and from there it’s all pain for them. Stratosphere finds himself 300lb Speared and hurled out of the ring by the blow, and Kuroda suffers a similar fate. Dozer drags the limp Kuroda back in and covers him for the three, before taking him outside and setting up a table.. but all of a sudden.

MB: Mackenzie’s stopped, and he’s ****ed his head like a dog.

FM: Like a dog?

MB: Look – it’s like he knows something. Something that’s stopped him putting Kuroda through the table..

Mackenzie drops Motty, leaving the table intact, and hurries off up the ramp as quickly as he can. A brave camera man follows him.

Rating: 48 / D+

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MB: So, as we can see from this camera angle, we are following Killdozer as he heads backstage after that absolute demolition of the Rising Sons. An unfortunate side effect of tonight’s match order means it is very likely that he and Swoop will pass each other here as the champ heads out for his match.

FM: I cannot believe they’ve hired security to keep the two apart.

MB: Would you rather our champion goes neck first through a table?

FM: He’s the champ, he should be able to defend himse-

As they speak, McCarthy is making his way to the ring flanked by security. Almost predictably, Killdozer appears out of nowhere, still rabid after defeating Jimmy Stratosphere with that spear. He clears out the security, but McCarthy manages to escape out of sight – and Dozer puts a particularly unlucky member of the general staff through a catering table out of pure spite.

MB: No-one is safe, Frank.... no-one.

Rating: 41 / D

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Swoop McCarthy vs. Big Daddy Horne

MB: Horne is an absolute freak show. Does he stand a chance here against the champ, Frank?

FM: Big Daddy was telling me he’d love nothing more than to hump Swoop’s leg so hard, Swoop has to tap out.

MB: That’s.. something.

FM: Can someone please hit him with another packing crate? Anything is better than this.

The Action: Yeah, you were right. Horne is a Santino style comedy worker, so didn’t really have a place in the main event. However, it’ll give him a rub which I can then transfer onto someone else in a match with Big Daddy. Plus I totally love this character now. Swoop McCarthy wins easily, locking in an STF when he finds he doesn’t quite have the power to life up Horne.

Rating: 45 / D

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MB: At the end of the matches for tonight folks I’d usually wish you goodnight and good luck, but after the events of last week we are just waiting and watching for –

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Killdozer

FM: Here we go!

MB: I’m out, I ain’t going through a table tonight!

There is a big thud as one headset – then another, hits the table. This leaves us with silence from the booth as Dozer runs down to the ring and into a panting Swoop. The two trade blows, and Dozer manages to put McCarthy down with a running powerslam. Mackenzie sets up a table in the corner of the ring, and lifts his winded foe onto it. However, McCarthy either dredges up all his strength or was just playing possum, and rolls out of the way just as Mackenzie is about to 300lb Spear him through the table. Dozer goes through, McCarthy evacuates the ring, and the crowd go berserk as the internet feed ends.

Rating: 56 / C-

Event Rating: 45 / D

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APW's Big Night 2010 – An APW Production

Rathen4 · January 16, 2011

That was much easier now I've got the code and stuff saved so I can make shows more quickly. Hope it read okay, if anything is confusing do let me know.

Also if you're currently running a diary and you predict/read this, please post a link to it in here. I'd like to be more involved in other people's diaries, especially ones that don't get much of a look in.

rockambition · January 16, 2011

Very nice diary Rathen. An interesting cast of wrestlers and I liked the setup of your shows. Will be interesting to see where it goes. Since you had asked, I just recently started a diary and posted my first show for Rising Phoenix Wrestling. (It is using a Idom real world mod). I hope you like what you see and let me know guys. Keep up the good work Rathen!

Mike

http://www.greydogsoftware.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305944

sebsplex · January 18, 2011

Big Daddy Horne is the main-event, eh? Risky, but he didn't pull down proceedings too badly. I love the alt and as usual, Mackenzie/Killdozer is great for playing the powerhouse heel unleashed. The show was nice easy read, it's a really accessible style, especially given the humour mixed in... I'm still grinning from the idea of Horne trying to leg-hump Swoop into submission

Rathen4 · January 19, 2011

Thanks a bunch, Sebs. I love your work, so thats a huge compliment

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"Who the hell is Lucien Wilder?"

This appears to be the main question popping up on the APW forum, and around the world. It’s difficult to make a debut in a company, especially one where you’ll feature in their first foray into internet broadcasting. It’s even more difficult when you fly to the other side of the world to get there. So, who is this new interviewer that has just appeared, and was thoroughly messed around by Swoop McCarthy and the Masters?

My love affair with wrestling started back in the mid nineties, just as I started to hit my adolescence. The East Coast War was yet to erupt – and to be honest I missed a vast deal of that. I lost the spark for a long while and just let the ideas of “masked men parading around in their underwear” turn me off the whole thing.

The night that started it all again was back in 2006. It was a cold December night, and me and my flatmate were very, very drunk. We knew a Ring of Fire event was just down the road – and realising we’d probably be one of ten people there, we thought we’d go and be loud and obnoxious to these pansies.

We were. I’m sure we made the Martin brothers cry with the sheer amount of abuse we gave them. We were on the verge of being thrown out – and later it would be confided in me that a deputation of UK Dragon and Billy Robinson had to be stopped from coming out and kicking our heads in.

We were about to leave when a chap called “British Samurai” was announced. We grinned and thought “Alright, let’s ruin this Japanese fantasist”. But he was incredible. His opponent, some Irish chap, was amazing too. And they just turned each other in knots. I was enraptured.

The next week, I took a visit to the Turnbuckle Wrestling Dojo. Turns out British Samurai ran the damn thing, and he wasn’t so thrilled to see one of the abusive fans there. I debated leaving, running away. But I stuck with it, and after some brutal cardio he could see I was up for it.

The rest is history, and I owe my technical skills to him.

Maybe soon you guys will get to see them.

~ Lucien Wilder, February 2010.

Predictions Competition!

<table style="width: 439px; height: 256px;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><col style="width: 82pt;" width="109"> <col style="width: 48pt;" width="64"> <col style="width: 67pt;" width="89"> <col style="width: 48pt;" width="64"> <tbody><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt; width: 82pt;" width="109" height="20">
</td> <td style="width: 48pt;" width="64">Ozfest</td> <td style="width: 67pt;" width="89">Big Night Out</td> <td style="width: 48pt;" width="64">Total</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Midnightnick</td> <td class="xl65">4/5</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">8</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">hrdcoresidebrns</td> <td class="xl65">4/5</td> <td class="xl65">4/5</td> <td class="xl65">8</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">TheKenwyne</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">4/5</td> <td class="xl65">7</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">20LEgend</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">6</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Bigpapa42</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">6</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Michiganhero</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">6</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">sebsplex</td> <td class="xl65">5/5</td> <td class="xl65">0</td> <td class="xl65">5</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Purple Cowboy</td> <td class="xl65">0</td> <td class="xl65">5/5</td> <td class="xl65">5</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Jingo</td> <td class="xl65">4/5</td> <td class="xl65">0</td> <td class="xl65">4</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Strelka</td> <td class="xl65">0</td> <td class="xl65">3/5</td> <td class="xl65">3</td> </tr> <tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"> <td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Eidenhoek</td> <td class="xl65">2/5</td> <td class="xl65">0</td> <td class="xl65">2</td> </tr> </tbody></table>

I will give a creative decision to the leader after FOUR shows, then wipe the scores and start over.

A huge thank you for all the predictions, this is awesome. Participation, comments, praise, criticism – whatever. It keeps the diary running.

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Card for APW's Fight Night

Harry Simonson vs. Swoop McCarthy vs. Stan Standish – Standish will defend his APW Australian title against Boo Smithson next month – so he will want to build momentum here. Simonson looks to rebound from a tabling, and McCarthy needs to keep up his strength to avoid Killdozer. A huge amount at stake here for all three men.

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters. A submission match for the APW Tag Team Titles – this has been building for months. The Masters are the better submission workers on paper – but the Blondes can never be counted out. Both teams will hope that Killdozer trashes the Rebels in the opening match, and keep them out of this.

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere – Banks is a martial arts expert, and Stratosphere is a brilliant aerial worker. Two very different worlds collide at Fight Night – who will come out the winner?

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt – Sturt’s first match in 2010 could also be his last. It’s just as well Horne doesn’t know how a mirror works, or he might snap out of this odd streak he’s on. That said, Vance has his work cut out for him here.

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels – in an effort to keep the Rebels out of the tag title scene, they could not face a stiffer challenge. With Killdozer embarrassed at the end of the Big Night Out you can only imagine how much anger there is pent up inside him.

[[Quick picks for copy and pasting]]

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

20LEgend · January 19, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

Zergon · January 19, 2011

Nice start, I have a soft spot on APW ever since I first played them in TEW2008.

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish

Swoop is the most important guy here

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)

This one seems to favor The Masters but I think it´s too early to make the change so I say that Blondes find a way to win here.

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

Jimmy wasn´t particularly impressive last month so I give this one to Banks.

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

It´s Horne so he will lose

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

Killdozer is your monster heel so he should stay strong though I could see Rebels winning via DQ.

TheKenwyne · January 19, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish - No title match AGAIN?!?!

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles) - With Killdozer/ECR related shenanigans.

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere - Stratosphere's among the best workers on the continent.

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt - SPLAT!

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels - SPLAT AGAIN!

Big Roguey · January 19, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

Jingo · January 19, 2011

Not too sure how i missed the last show but i'm back now so no worries hey!?

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

Like Vance but Hornes a beast.

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

Midnightnick · January 20, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

hrdcoresidebrns · January 20, 2011

Keeping my place at the top with this one!

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish

The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)

Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

Rathen4 · January 20, 2011

Not too sure how i missed the last show but i'm back now so no worries hey!?

Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry Simonson vs. Stan Standish
The Melbourne Blondes vs. The Masters (Submission match for the APW tag team titles)
Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere
Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt
Like Vance but Hornes a beast.
Killdozer vs. The East Coast Rebels

Show goes up every Sunday, so just check here for it on a Monday!

Rathen4 · January 23, 2011

This'll be a late one today, I think. Will be writing it up during the Packers game later tonight, so about 10pm GMT or 4pm ET.

Rathen4 · January 23, 2011

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Australian Pro Wrestling

APW’s Fight Night

Saturday Week 3 March 2010

632 in attendance

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Mitch Y. Bryson and Frank Mucciolo

Mitch Y. Bryson: We are live for our third event of 2010. Welcome to everyone in the arena and everyone watching at home! I always say it, but we have a hell of a card for you all tonight – there’s no other promotion in the continent that can boast an opening match with the raw beef that is Killdozer. I’m here with broadcast colleague Frank Mucciolo, and we will be with you until the end of tonight’s festivities.

Frank Mucciolo: Mitch has said it all – Dozer may be in a handicap match as punishment – but I can’t see him caring too much about the odds. The guy is a one man wrecking ball and he’s got only one man in mind.

MB: Swoop McCarthy narrowly avoided destruction last week, and is scheduled to compete in tonight’s main event too. So, I’d put money on us seeing Dozer more than once tonight.

FM: I’m a betting man, Mitch, and I love long odds – but even the world’s stupidest drongo wouldn’t be able to go against that bet.

MB: We go live to ringside now, ready for the introductions for our opening bout.

Rating: 50 / D+

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The East Coast Rebels vs. Killdozer

MB: A real interesting matchup here – the Rebels have been pains in the arse recently but they can fly..

FM: There’s no point in flying if you just get shot down. Dozer is agile – he’s not a lumbering idiot that can easily be chopped down.

MB: And here he comes – and he does not look like he’s in a good mood.

FM: Oh god – a table under each arm!

The action: Dozer is NOT in a good mood, and sets up both tables outside of the ring before climbing in. He immediately charges Macquarie, who is the legal man, and just demolishes him. They fight for maybe a minute tops before Dozer picks up him and chokeslams him up and out of the ring onto a table. The referee seems torn.. that’s an illegal move and is a use of a weapon surely.. but his mind is made up when Dozer grabs Taylor, hauls him up with both hands around his neck, and slams him from the ring to the remaining table. He calls for the DQ, and bails. Quickly.

Rating: 45 / D

MB: Horrifying power on display – and a clear disregard for the rules within APW. If you get disqualified from a punishment match.. what on earth is the next step?

FM: Look on the bright side – the Rebels have a win against Killdozer on paper now! I don’t think they’ll be that keen to get back in with him now though.

MB: Well, great timing here – Lucien Wilder has Swoop McCarthy backstage.

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Lucien Wilder with Swoop McCarthy

Lucien Wilder: Well, Swoop, you’ve just seen that very short contest on this monitor. What are your reactions?

Swoop McCarthy: My reactions? Wilder, when I won this belt, I knew that I’d become the top dog. The one to chase. I didn’t realise that it would end up almost ending my paralysis.

LW: So you’re afraid?

Swoop just raises an eyebrow at Wilder. Lucien is lucky he didn’t take that tact with Lanny Williams last month, really.

LW: How do you plan to deal with the threat of Killdozer, then?

SM: I am the Chosen One. I have been hand picked by the management of APW to lead the company into the stars. This gorilla can’t get to me. He can’t put me off. I may not have defended my title this year, but I will not back down. I’m getting so sick of his giant baby antics, I’m debating putting this on the line to get him one on one in a fair fight.

LW: A fair fight?

SM: I don’t care. I’ll take him on in a cage match. A submission match. Hell, I’ll take him on in a tables match if that’s what he wants. But I want to show what I can do, fresh and awesome. I am not afraid. I am not scared. I am Swoop McCarthy.

Swoop nods at Lucien – the interview is over. Wilder takes care to check the surrounding area before walking off – obviously expecting a blindside attack from Dozer at some point during the interview.

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Big Daddy Horne vs. Vance Sturt

MB: Well, big words from the champion then. I can’t imagine anyone else would volunteer to take on Killdozer in a tables match. That’s the mark of a champion.

FM: Or someone brain damaged. And speaking of brain damaged – here comes Horne.

The Action: Vance Sturt is an odd character, who was irreparably damaged by bad booking decisions last year. As such, he’s fed to Horne here in a comedy match. The crowd still hate Horne, and really hate the flamboyantly “out” character he has become. Horne’s entire offence is trying to take Sturt down to the canvas. He manages after a short while, putting Sturt down face first.. and Horne just kinda... climbs on. Sturt taps immediately – and wouldn’t you with that weight on top of you?

FM: Well.. the prize for the most inventive submission move of the year goes there.

MB: Surely that’ll hurt poor Horne’s feelings?

FM: I think he’s only got feelings in one part of his body now, Mitch. And that’s a place I’d rather not think about.

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MB: Well, Lucien Wilder is earning his pay tonight, and I’m hearing he’s got the Blondes ready to give us some words of wisdom backstage.

FM: Words of wisdumb, surely?

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Lucien Wilder with the Melbourne Blondes and Steph Drucker

The Blondes are all smiles, and have their belts proudly on their shoulders. There’s a whole vibe of energy from them – they’re clearly ready.

LW: Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time – the Melbourne Blondes. Boys, you’ve got an incredibly important match coming up short-

Blake Belushi: Mate, we may be the Melbourne Blondes, but Miss Drucker here is absolutely key to our success.

Rick Stantz: Please, when you introduce us – introduce her too.

LW: Noted, sorry.

Steph Drucker: Boys, you don’t need to defend me. Lucien, ignore them. You’re cool with me.

RS: Blake, should we tell them?

BB: I dunno man, letting the cat out of the bag now might be a bit dangerous.

SD: I would advise against it, guys.

RS: Right! Okay! Look, Lucien, we’d love to stand here and be grand and posture and argue with you about things, but that’s not our style!

BB: We do our talking in the ring!

RS: As easy as one, two, three!

BB: Everyone’s all like “Oh no, the Masters can submit you and cause you problems!”

RS: But everyone writes us off. Hey man, I may not have finished school but I’m not a stupid dude! I just know where priorities lie!

BB: Yeah!

RS: And our priorities recently have been a little.. different!

BB: And you’ll all see that tonight!

Blake and Rick are, by now, so excited that they are visibly bouncing on the spot.

SD: I’d tell them to calm down and relax, but the amount of energy these guys have is insane, Lucien. I just want to make it clear to the Masters – my boys won’t be bullied or pestered. And tonight, they’ll retain their belts!

Rating: 44 / D

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Alexander Banks vs. Jimmy Stratosphere

MB: A key matchup here.. Banks being a member of God’s Gift, and Stratosphere is of course one of the Rising Sons. Major bragging points for their team at stake.

The Action: It’s pretty one sided – you get the feeling that Banks could do damage if he could stop Stratosphere or at least keep him off the ropes – but Jimmy is possibly the best flier on the continent. Stratosphere wraps this up after a very average match.

MB: A solid win for Stratosphere and one where Banks will rue his missed chances.

FM: When you’re that one dimensional, you won’t win matches. Banks needs to learn some things, quickly. Now, speaking of one dimensional, it’s the tag title match up next. And the Blondes.. well, sounds like they’ve been training. We both know it won’t be enough – the Masters are awesome and will take this comfortably.

MB: Nice, unbiased announcing. Great job, Frank.

Rating: 34 / E+

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The Melbourne Blondes with Steph Drucker vs. The Masters with Sean Quartermainne

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The Action: The Masters get right in the face of the Blondes from the start, with Sean Quartermainne looking like a lecherous Sean Connery towards Steph Drucker. Blake Belushi is a pro, though, and ignores it completely. This is a very even, competitive match – and from the start Lanny Williams goes for leg locks, chops and kicks to try and wear out the legs of the Blondes. There are numerous near falls in the favour of the Masters, including a very scary one where Stantz gets taken down and trapped in Lanny’s figure four leg lock. Only a last second reversal, showing the true guts that Rick has, allows him to escape.

After about twenty one minutes, the Masters are tiring. Blake Belushi, the legal man, clears Williams off of ringside with a flying kick, and axe kicks Peterson to the mat. He tags in Stantz, who goes to the top rope and hits a huge flying elbow from the top rope. Belushi is tagged back in, and locks in a sharpshooter. There is a twist to this lock, though, where once Peterson is tangled, Blake leans back and grabs him by the skull, contorting the body of Peterson. He holds on and holds on... but it’s no good – and the Blondes retain the title.

MB: The Blondes win! The Blondes win!

FM: That’s absolutely no fair – Belushi had him by the hair!

MB: Frank, both of us know that isn’t the truth. A good, clean win from two of the most vibrant wrestlers alive. We have a vignette for you now folks, and then it’s time for the main event of the evening.

Rating: 47 / D

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This is a pretty generic video, but is used to good effect to show off just what Simonson can do. Not only is his Fishermans Suplex technically perfect, he also has an amazing Headshot Superkick. Synced up perfectly to his new entrance music, each boom prompts another clip where he takes the head off an opponent.

Rating: 39 / D

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Swoop McCarthy vs. Harry “The Hitman” Simonson vs. Stan Standish

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MB: This is tonight’s main event, and it’s a huge one.

FM: It’s got to be if one of the guys in it gets promo time right before it..

MB: Frank, who is your pick for the win here?

FM: McCarthy. Unfortunately. He never loses. Why would he lose here?

The Action: Standish immediately slides to ringside, and lets McCarthy and Simonson go at it while he keeps the count alive. The two put on a good show, evidently respecting each other but each very wary of what the other can do. It’s only when Standish gets involved that things go a little awry, but he finds himself quickly beaten up and left in a heap. The match goes McCarthy’s way – Simonson missing with a badly timed Headshot, and Swoop looks to have him set up for the Swoop DDT..

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FM: HERE HE COMES! FOR THE SECOND TIME TONIGHT, IT'S TABLE TIME!

MB: The wrecking ball is here, and just look at McCarthy’s face!

The Action: To his credit, Dozer doesn’t interfere. Sure, he’s got a table in his hand, but McCarthy makes the mistake of turning around and looking at him. Simonson simply Headshots him right in the back of the skull, and down goes McCarthy! Simonson covers.. and gets the three count!

MB: A major upset, folks! Harry Simonson picks up a huge win, and I’m pretty sure that’s not all she wrote either!

Dozer sets up the table at the top of the ramp, and runs down to a prone McCarthy. However, he runs right into another Headshot from Simonson! Harry leaves the ring as Dozer tries to collect himself – and pleases the crowd by taking McCarthy with him. Dragging the man he just pinned up the ramp, he tries to get Swoop to regain his senses.

McCarthy opens his eyes fully as he is taken past the table, and shrugs off Simonson. He climbs up onto it, and shouts back at the ring – where Dozer is now standing with the APW Commonwealth belt. We clearly hear a “You want a match for that, you got it!” from McCarthy – but Dozer hurls the belt up and out of the ring onto the ramp. With slow, deliberate movement, he shakes his head and raises one beefy hand right at Swoop.

MB: He just wants him! This is not about the title..

FM: Killdozer just wants to end Swoop McCarthy!

Match Rating: 52 / D+

Post Match Segment Rating: 51 / D+

Final Show Rating: 48 / D+

Rathen4 · January 23, 2011

Just two things:

Firstly, I hope you enjoyed the show. I've got a pretty nasty head cold at the moment, so if anything hasn't worked or doesn't make sense let me know and I'll correct it. Also, Harry's music is missing from the final match - I cannot work out why it's not displaying the button for it but after half an hour of trying to make it work I've given up for tonight.

Secondly - questions for next Wednesday's column! Reading some other diaries, it seems that 1PWFan does largely the same thing in his very good Australian diary. http://www.greydogsoftware.com/forum/showthread.php?t=300925

Throw them in - I might offer a bonus point in the prediction competition for the person whose questions are used! Not sure why I haven't had any yet, let me know if something is stopping you from doing so!

Thanks!

Rathen4 · January 26, 2011

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"Are the Melbourne Blondes just high all the time?"

After their promo the other night at Fight Night, you'd probably be forgiven for suggesting that they'd taken something beforehand. If you've not caught a Blondes segment before, it can be a bit of a strange thing.

Their short, stilted, almost Gordon Ramsey-esque way of speaking can either annoy or cause great delight. For me, I think they're great. For those not fan of attractive people who know what they're doing in the ring, they can be an aggravation. Steph Drucker has been a part of them since they've worked together, and the internet has always delighted in the constant rumours that Rick and Steph are planning to become an item behind Blake's back. Luckily, the Blondes are such awesome friends this is just a big joke to them. Steph is their anchor - she keeps them sane and sensible, and as you saw, she helps them get their real message across.

Interestingly, both men subscribe to a tee-total life, and drugs are simply not heard of in the APW.

That said, it was a hell of a title defence, wasn't it?

~ Lucien Wilder, March 2010.

Predictions Competition!

Well, this just got INTERESTING. Seems Swoop winning threw you all a loop a little, and with just one show to go before prize time, some six people could still win it. So please, keep predicting!

<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="415"><tbody><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt; width: 82pt;" width="109" height="20">
</td><td style="width: 48pt;" width="64">Ozfest</td><td style="width: 67pt;" width="89">Big Night Out</td><td style="width: 67pt;" width="89">Fight Night</td><td style="width: 48pt;" width="64">Total</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">TheKenwyne</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">11</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Midnightnick</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">10</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">hrdcoresidebrns</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">2/5</td><td class="xl64">10</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">20LEgend</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">10</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Michiganhero</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">2/5</td><td class="xl64">8</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Jingo</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">4/5</td><td class="xl64">8</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Bigpapa42</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">6</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">sebsplex</td><td class="xl64">5/5</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">5</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Purple Cowboy</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">5/5</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">5</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Strelka</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">3/5</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">3</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Eidenhoek</td><td class="xl64">2/5</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">2</td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;" height="20"><td style="height: 15pt;" height="20">Zergon</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">0</td><td class="xl64">2/5</td><td class="xl64">2</td></tr></tbody></table>

--

Card for APW's Beachfront Breakdown

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer in a tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship - Killdozer gets his man - but in a roundabout way so does McCarthy. Both men have had numerous near misses recently - but there's only one way this match will end. One man will be smashed through a table.

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson for the APW Australian Championship - Smithson lost his title, his job and almost his life to Standish back in August 2009. Now living on the streets and struggling to survive, the title would bring some light back into his life - but will Standish be sympathetic to the cause?

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor - Stantz is flying high after a successful title defence last month, and no-one would like to bring him down more than one of the East Coast Rebels.

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine - Macquarie is smarting and thoroughly pissed off with how his APW career is turning out. The Rebels are just the start of it. Dingo Devine is a suplex master, capable of creating amazing lifts out of nothing. This is a true enigma of a match.

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne - Someone backstage either has a hilarious sense of humour or a disgusting one. I think we all know how this will turn out - unless one of Peterson's many enemies decides to make their prescence felt.

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams - Two old adversaries face off again. Both men are not involved in a singles title picture at the moment - could a win here be the spark they need to become a little more credible?

[[Quick picks for copy and pasting]]

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship)

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship)

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams

TheKenwyne · January 26, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship) - Cheaply - dodging some big move in such a way that 'dozer goes through the table. Next month? A non gimmicked match to BLOW OFF THE FUED!

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship) - Smithson's a hobo. A talented one but lack of star quality makes him a career midcarder, and not a title worthy one at that.

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor - Schmozz with PARTNER INTERFERENCE~~~!

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine - The better worker. Macquire's not much more than a jobber anyway.

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne - Splat.

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams - A close one. TBH it's a coinflip. Soz.

Midnightnick · January 26, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship)

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship)

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams

20LEgend · January 26, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship)

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship)

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams

NWO4until01 · January 27, 2011

just a quick 'reading this'. I'm actually in the very early stages of an APW game so this caught my eye. good stuff so far.

Bigpapa42 · January 27, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship)

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship)

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams

Zergon · January 27, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship)

I don´t think that it´s time for title change yet

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship)

Same here it just isn´t change time yet

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor

Cole wins via somekind of cheating

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine

Alyx has more going on

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne

Horne had his token win and now it´s back to jobbing for him.

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams

Simonson got win over Swoop in last show so I assume that he is staying strong here.

Jingo · January 27, 2011

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship)

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship)

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams

sebsplex · January 27, 2011

Bah, I've fallen behind on this, best get some predictions in now.

Swoop McCarthy vs. Killdozer (Tables match for the APW Commonwealth Championship)

Killdozer has been booked as an absolute beast so far, but the match stip offers up the chance that Swoop could 'luck out' and defeat him without weakening his character.

Stan Standish vs. Boo Smithson (APW Australian championship)

Rick Stantz vs. Cole Taylor

Alyx Macquarie vs. Dingo Devine

Debonair David Peterson vs. Big Daddy Horne

Horne's getting some rub, but I don't think he's going to be giving any back just yet.

Harry Simonson vs. Lanny Williams

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