sanityisforbidden Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 DWN Eidenhoek Eidenhoek Rolling Johnny Stones Extraordinario Jr Canadian Crusher Thunder and Lightning Eidenhoek by dq following interference from Dunton Hall with a Dos Equis beer truck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayelek Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Oooh, I love predictions. I predict Eidenhoek Avatar either loses them all or wins them all. I'm going with loses for the final answer though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest codey Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 0_o I fear for your career! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattlore Devious Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Eidenhoek Avatar Eidenhoek Avatar Eidenhoek Avatar Eidenhoek Avatar Eidenhoek Avatar Eidenhoek Avatar Eidenhoek Eidenhoek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 Hall: Would you like to explain why you have booked yourself in 8 matches? Avatar: Not really. Hall: Would you like to explain why this company has no title belts? Avatar: Title belts don't grow on trees. Hall: Give me two years and those words will not be true. Avatar: You're a geneticist? Hall: No. But I know people who are. Avatar: Ah. Well, I'll just write up some names on paper and such. We'll just have those be the proxy belts. Hall: You are going to book yourself for every championship. Avatar: You do know why I'm doing this, right? I want to be the best. Hall: Very best. Avatar: That does sound a little better, yeah... Hall: One last question: why is our show 4 hours long? Avatar: Well, I got 8 matches. 240 minutes, that's thirty minutes per match. Given that I'd like to talk, make it 15 minutes each match for 120 minutes. Hall: You intend to wrestle for 2 hours. Avatar: And, don't forget-and talk for 2 hours. Hall: You are booking yourself in every segment of the show? Avatar: You know what they say: when you're on a quest to better yourself, everyone else pretty much doesn't matter. Hall: Who is this "they"? Avatar: Yo' mama. http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/images_games/systemshock02.jpg Hall: Taser taser, burning bright, in the forest of the night; what immortal hand or eye, doth frame thy fearful symmetry. Avatar: "Symmetry" is meant to rhyme with "eye" in that poem. Hall: I said that. Here is another gift from me. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27101083375.jpg I woke up late this morning. There was a storm, and it was really rolling. I would say that dogs were joined not by cats, but frogs; the sky wept. The world was awkward and nay, not as it should be. I cannot fathom how I am meant to get by if this continues. I close my eyes and attempt to smile. I know that things are bad and, if my previous days are any indicator, things will only get worse. Yet I am comforted in the fact that after all this, after all this I can rest. And then I will party. Party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27101194020.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27101201941.jpg I hate this company. I had an important decision ahead of me: where would I run our first show? The Great Lakes had a strong predicted presence, but this was true of Tri State as well, among others. Yes, I could run a show in our "home place" of the Mid South. I chose to do so; given that there is a hotbed in Texas, one day we might reach that lofty goal. By "we" I mean "not this company". And by "hotbed" I mean "what I want to get into with Honey Golightly." Annnnnd I just realized Raisin and Ayres were busy elsewhere. Gogo magic switch! For those watching at home, I can't exactly comment this, so I'll be putting up the results. I'm sure Dunton will have some kind words after the show. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/orig/9/27101551891-orig.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27101560564.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27101582668.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27101591624.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102004179.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102012294.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102022231.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102031377.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102035831.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102051177.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102062831.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102072028.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102082446.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102090985.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102100416.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102104462.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102120345.jpg And now, for the overall event... http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/orig/9/2710213339-orig.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/orig/9/27102141642-orig.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/orig/9/27102151461-orig.jpg ... http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102160387.jpg Hey now I can be in the rookie of the month poll for this or next month! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattlore Devious Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 YUUSSS!!!!! *claims 100% prediction record* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Trask Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 http://img1.uploadscreenshot.com/images/main/9/27102100416.jpg Well... there's fourteen fans that aren't coming to see you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 I was home-nay, I was in a mansion. A mansion of ecstasy, each wall shining more brilliantly than the previous. Laying back on this illustrious chair, I was waited upon by all the buxom beauties of the world. http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0912/confusion-pimp-darth-vader-demotivational-poster-1261342048.jpg And apparently Darth Vader and a creepy guy. *shrug* http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27200025186.jpg Avatar: Say it. Hall:...'ello guvnah... Avatar: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dunton Hall? More like DUNTON PENNYWORTH AHAHAHAHAHAHA http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2eSfnCtBHyw/Scz64IJupDI/AAAAAAAABkM/FbhXE35VFZ0/s320/Boogie+in+the+Snow+1.jpg Wait, that's a dog in the snow. And that doesn't make sense. Which means...I must...acquit? BUT THE WOOKIES ARE FROM KASHYYYK! ... Wait, another second here. The wookie defense is that...he lived on Endor. Chewbacca never lived on Endor. WHAT THE http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27200025186.jpg Hall: You cannot tell, but I am no longer wearing a monocle. Also, this is reality, and what you experienced was a dream. Avatar: Spoilers! Hall: I am a veritable walking deus ex machina. Avatar: Rikku would have a field day with you Hall: She already has. Numerous times, in fact, has she; recall that I am able to create virtual realities. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27200131592.jpg Avatar: DAMMIT! Hall: I see you are fatigued. Avatar: Roughly 57.5% fatigued, to be more exact. Hall: Are you willing to book a match wherein you are not a participant? Avatar: Well...Davis Wayne Newton's our de facto Road Agent, and Extraordinario Jr. is our de facto third man at the desk. I suppose I could take one of those spots. Hall: You do understand this company is not about just you. Avatar: Have you read the shorthand form of this company's name? Hall: Yes. EIDENHOEK. Avatar: What's my first name? Hall: Eidenhoek. Avatar: And...? Hall: I fail to see where this process is going. Avatar: I hate you. Hall: It looks as though you made us money last month, as well as raising our popularity by a small amount. Avatar: $314 baby! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS! Hall: I wish it was all about your death. Avatar: What? Hall: You should take a mint; you have horrid breath. Avatar: I thought you were supposed to say something not insulting there. Hall: Ah. This must be one of those "American humour" things that I have yet to fully grasp. Let me try again: I use a hose to wash your mother's breasts. Avatar: ...you just had to use the word "hose", didn't you... http://gifsforum.com/images/gif/troll%20face/grand/UPVFV.gif Hall: I utilized feedback from this witty quip: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls6lce60eV1qcw3yio1_500.jpg Avatar: ...I was in that class... Hall: Also, could you care to explain this clipping? http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/2720025219.jpg Avatar: http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/20/17-I-lol.jpg Hall: http://freeimagesarchive.com/data/media/33/7_lol.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 2, 2011 Author Share Posted October 2, 2011 I'll attribute the morning's excursions to nerve gas on my part and copious amounts of alcohol on the part of Dunton Hall. Remember, kids: if you're going to drink and drive, make sure that you don't have a car. Nor keys. So that you can't drive. Or, y'know, have a boss that's a total ass and doesn't let you drink. ANYTHING. That works too. I decided to actually read some stuff online about news and all that, and there was...well, some interesting developments. I talked it over with ol' Duntypants at lunch. And by "lunch" I mean "why does he have a pool of Dos Equis and also a speedo on?" Avatar: So that line about Velocidad, think we actually should follow it? Hall: I heavily doubt whoever reported that rumor had ever met you, nor will you ever let him win. Avatar: Yeah, I know, but should we, y'know, actually have him on a show? Hall: I am conflicted; if I affirm, I am sentencing him to a life of burials at your hands, it would seem. Yet to contradict that edict is to send him into obscurity. Avatar: You know that I can only speak English, right? Hall: I am English. Avatar: Anyway, he's already a nothing, so I guess not using him doesn't really matter. Looks like a solid guy, though; he's a force in the air, far better than I think I'll ever be. His charisma is off the charts, and he's got a nice champion look on him. Hall: You will never let him have a shot at the title, then? Avatar: Shot? Hell, I'll shoot him before he can even look at it. Hall: Apparently our crowd of 14 viewed the show as "better than expected from a company that tiny." Avatar: This sounds like a Waldorf and Statler routine. Hall: That reference has already been made in this game. Avatar: This sounds like an Abbott and Costello routine. Hall: But who's Abbott? Avatar: No, what's on second. Hall: ... Avatar: I dunno. Hall: ... Avatar: That's your cue. Hall: You previously said Abbott's line. Now you cue me as Abbott? This farce is nonsensical. http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c382/UncleBebby/Chewbacca_Defense.jpg Avatar: So what's this about Pro Wrestling SAISHO? Hall: What's on second. Avatar: I will kill you. Hall: Yes, SAISHO have fallen to the "Local" size, our particular bracket of popularity. Avatar: And we're now more influential than them. Hall: Yes. Avatar: Us, with no prestige, a measly 2 momentum, are more influential than them with no prestige and 24 momentum. Hall: Yes. Avatar: But 24 is greater than 2! Hall: Our zero might be larger than theirs. Avatar: Our zero. Hall: Yes. Avatar: Bigger than another 0? Hall: More or less, perhaps. Avatar: I don't know. Hall: Third base. Avatar: WE STOPPED THE ROUTINE ALREADY! Hall: I must apologize; I seem to still not fully grasp your American sense of inadequacy in the realm of speech. Avatar: ...Thank you for the compliment. Hall: With your recent promotional relationship trends, I would expect you to go to war with SAISHO. Avatar: Oh, we're totally going to kill them. Hall: This is in spite of the fact that they currently have no workers for you to steal, nor are they likely to ever become anything of a threat to this company. Avatar: I'm sorry, all I heard was, "Pip pip I'm a nancy." Hall: Fair enough, I suppose. Avatar: ...and, send. I just declared war on them. Hall: Have you considered that Pride Glory Honor Wrestling might not take kindly to your declaration of war on their child promotion? Avatar: Wait a second...why's it Pride Glory Honor Wrestling? No 'u'? Hall: Perhaps it is a mis-translation of the Japanese language to English. Avatar: Anyway, what were you saying? Hall: You might have just drawn the ire of a Cult-level company. Avatar: In Japan. ooOOOOooo, Pacific Ocean in the way... Hall: They will likely hit National near May of this year. Perhaps as late as their second tour, but I doubt 2011 will find them still at Cult. Avatar: So you're saying they're going to declare war on me as retribution, then steal my whole roster when they hit National? Hall: They could. Avatar: http://sneakattacknews.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/sneak-attack.jpg Hall: At best, this could be considered a pre-emptive strike. Except in this case, you are more so continuing a previous assault. Avatar: I just ninja-kicked your grandma. Your argument is invalid. Hall: My grandmother is dead. Avatar: BECAUSE I JUT NINJA-KICKED HER! Hall: No. My grandmother is dead because she attempted to be the oldest female to bungee-jump your Empire State Building. Avatar: Oh. Hall: It turns out that bungee-jumping grandmothers, as you would say, are quite the competitive group of people. Namely, they are not above cutting another's cord. Avatar: You mean their...ripchord? http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z266/Rainierman/HoratioYeah.jpg Hall: You have no guitar, nor are you accurate; a ripchord is used when skydiving, not bungee jumping. Avatar: CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY AIR GUITAR! http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/161960_126971367367109_300654_n.jpg Hall: I expect a report on the debuts this month, along with your expectations of who to hire from that group, later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 I kicked down the door to my office, pulled up my pants, spat my tobacco into a can, then sauntered over to my desk. I was wearing chaps and those spinny metal things on my boots. What are those called? Spurs? Yeah, they spun and such. I wore a cowboy hat, too. I was a cowboy. In samurai armor. ... So Dunton Hall hovers in on some sort of hovercraft thing and sits down. Or...hovers. He was already sitting. Dunton: We need to talk about your position as head booker. Avatar: Doing too good for you? Dunton: If I was not viewing this as an experiment, you would have been fired the first day you communicated with me. You are disrespectful and pay no mind to any sort of sane business practice. You booked yourself in eveyr match and every angle of a four hour show. You refuse to think of anyone but yourself. You are an incompetent child that has barely turned 18. In mindset, you are not an adult. You are the kind of individual that Americans bemoan when they think of who will elect government officials. Avatar: That's a hell of a lot to say, "Eh." Dunton: I have not filtered you because I want to see how your reckless style is received by the populace. $1,000 is a paltry sum to a person in my position, so I am effectively gaining knowledge for nothing. That is a deal I would take any time. Do not misinterpret my indifference as acceptance; you are a disgusting human. Avatar: That's not what your mom said. Dunton: Are you wishing to be treated as an adult? If so, get out of this office and out of the business. You ought to be killed. Avatar: Eh, let's see this rookie report. Dunton: Report to yourself; I am not going to entertain your selfishness. I think he hovered his ass out of there. I couldn't tell; I was looking at myself in a mirror and I looked awesome. So those rookies: Antonio and Pedro Elwes are, apparently, not related. Former's an 18-year-old Australian wrestler that looks like a star, apparently fairly popular with the ladies, and not that bad of a talker. A bit heavy for my style of booking, but given that he's in Australia, it doesn't matter. Pedro was trained at the National School of Wrestling. Ignoring that they haven't had their inaugural class yet, the fact that he's Pedro Elwes makes me question his British heritage. Amusingly, he's 17, meaning that even though his heavyweight ass is green, he's got room to learn. Looking at him...he's menacing, as all bigger guys are, but not a particularly fearsome guy. He talks decently, has nice stamina for his size, and impeccable selling. He's a heavyweight and I'm pretty sure he could job his ass out in any company with no problem. Kid can talk, too. A bit disappointed that I can't hire him. Alejandro Leon joins the long list of people who think that maybe they're a lion. Ha ha ha that's a song. He's a 19-year-old Mexican, which makes sense, but he's a Light Heavyweight. Not as good for that style. He's a regular wrestler that's somewhat menacing and can sell well. Enviable entertainment and good physical skills, the kid's going to be a technician if he improves. Definitely the best prospect so far. Jeremy Kang is a 20-year-old middleweight American. Works in Canada and the USA, so I'll give him a call. He's a nice guy, from what I gather. Best part about him is that he's extremely consistent; not the type of machines that some vets are, but he's a hell of a lot better than...maybe 88% of workers. Got some stamina to pull out 20 minutes, maybe, and can work a brute gimmick to utilize...usable menace. Fuyuko Higa signed with 5Star. Missed out on a good prospect. Donte Dunn is an 18-year-old Barbadian Barbarian. That's Badass. He comes from the DeColts and...he's an athletic star. Not a brawler, not a great talker. I'm hiring him for his badassness, though. Omezo Shikitei is 20 and in Japan. I don't really care, then, but his biggest flaw is his lack of psychology. Given that it's something of a specialty of mine, relatively, that hurts and otherwise brilliant package. Maybe that's why he's currently unemployed. Richie Riggins is a 19-year-old Light Heavyweight. The guy sucks. Hard. But I'll bite on him, I guess. I faxed Hall the details and called it a night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayelek Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Are either Antonio or Pedro Elwes related to famed actor Cary Elwes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 *edits their description to make copious references to The Princess Bride* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 I woke up. Some maid asked me how I felt. http://www.hiwtc.com/photo/products/2/09/71/97162.jpg Wait a second... http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/15800000/Berta-two-and-a-half-men-15876096-624-352.jpg OH DEAR GOD! http://www.scavengeinc.com/images/Product/medium/coquette/male-butler-costume.jpg I thought for a moment... http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/28719044313.jpg AUGH WHY DUNTON WHYYYYYYYYY Hall: *ahem* I am in your dreams, making you into a wierd homosexual man. Avatar: Shouldn't that be, "I m in ur dreamz, ****ing ur ass"? Hall: I apologize; I do not speak idiot. Avatar: You speak everything else. Hall: Point taken. Avatar: And I'm 50% fatigued, by the way. Hall: I do not care. Avatar: I do. Hall: Quite fortunately for myself, I am not you. I see that Pro Wrestling SAISHO is now at war with us. I thought you declared war on Pride Glory Honor Wrestling as well. Avatar: Not accepting my declaration of war? THIS MEANS WAR! http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/28723194733.jpg Joey: I am cool; I am the- Avatar: $1,500 per appearance for 15 months if you shut up. Joey: -oddly named Englishman. I accept. He walked out of the office. Hall: You know that he is not worth that price. Avatar: Couldn't hear you over the sound of NEW JOB OPENING FOR A HEAD BOOKER! Joey: Oh, and I meant 12 months, with travel. Avatar: Shut. Up. He gave me a thumbs up. Dunton gave me a peace sign. I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 Had some thinking to do. Not just the name for our next event, though that was important. Probably the least pressing of my problems, though, given that we'll likely pop up the show at the end of the month as per usual. My main thoughts go toward some new hires. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/29410540222.jpg Avatar: What, and I'm supposed to know when Sadaharu Jimbo retires? Hall: This has been a major conversation in the Japanese wrestling world for quite some time. I would have expected you to not provoke a company needlessly. Avatar: I went to war with their child promotion. This is hardly needless. Hall: Perhaps. Why have you not declared war on BHOTWG? Avatar: We're not at war with Hinote DOJO, so why bother? Hall: You started all this strife. I figured you would go to war with everyone. Avatar: Is that a challenge? Hall: Sure. Why the hell not? Avatar: You broke character. Hall: And you broke the fourth wall. http://www.gifsoup.com/view6/2733515/cm-punk-whoops-waves-a-s.gif Avatar: Anyway, I got some more negotiations to do to screw over the competition. Hall: You could actually put effort into making this company grow, by the way. Avatar: What? Can't hear you over this awesome music. Hall: I call Gene Simmons. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qG3KxnQyefQ/TNoZrI_Q3iI/AAAAAAAAAtQ/805l1FX8Gqk/s400/2506023241_76953003fb_o.gif Avatar: And I'm Gene-DAMMIT! Now I have to be the cat guy ._. Hall: I could make a derogitory comment regarding you and cats, but I will refrain. Avatar: Something about not banging chicks? Hall: Roughly, yes. Avatar: Noted. I still hate you. Hall: Oh, and quizzically, you are a cat with no milk. Avatar: Because I'm supposed to stay thirsty? Hall: You got it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timber Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Nice, though i find it funny that you're gonna leave this guy at war with every promotion in the game. Next up, AAA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I waited with baited breath as the days rolled by, drawing me ever closer to scheduling our second event. And then Idaho Punisher was a sellout and Satan left wrestling. Huh. I guess it's true what they say about Catholics: pitchforks aren't just for stabbing guys in Satan suits. Okay, maybe I have some problems with the law. We'll find out at the end of the year. But dammit, the dude's Satan! I figured if anyone could take a trident to the eye, it'd be him. What's that? Tridents are for Neptune, god of the sea? ... So apparently the nation of Greece hates me. What, Neptune is Roman? ... So apparently the nation of Greece really hates me. Granted, that's only Cesar Sionis, the Greek-Australian, but it's something to note. Hell, the guy's not horrible in the ring for a rookie, and he'd probably do fairly in my little company. But GUESS WHO PROBABLY WILL NEVER ENTER INTO NEGOTIATIONS WITH ME? Hell yeah. Wait, now I hate Cesar Sionis? Well crap. Also, I was going to go to war with UEW, the only promotion in the Mediterranean. Turns out I already pre-empted that. Good for me. So I looked up all the Roman guys in the world. I couldn't find Roman, but Romanian was kinda close. So I called up Acheron, lawl, and The Snowman. Not really a pun with the second one, but...eh, I hate them too. Well that's great. I guess, apparently, Idaho Punisher selling out means great economic boosts, yet social stupidity for myself. Or maybe that's the devil leaving. Come to think of it, why would Satan leaving cause hatred to form? Am I Jesus? ... Wait, that still wouldn't make sense. Let me think about this a second... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 So apparently Rome isn't a country anymore, which means Italians should hate me. This would mean Aria Moore would hate me. Apparently she does a damn good job of standing around looking pretty, quote unquote. Granted, I'd rather she DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF LAYING DOWN LOOKING PRETTY, but as Dr. Hall keeps saying, women would not come near me with a ten foot pole even if I had a ten foot pole. I then asked him if he was implying his own member was ten feet long. He smiled and said that I could ask my mother. Incidentally, mom came to work today. I noticed Henry Higgins or some stupid ass-face wanted to negotiate. Maybe I started the negotiations, maybe I was drunk. Most likely the former, since drinking is illegal and I HAVE NO DRINKS. Oh, this is a new negotiation. Not a re-negotiation. hahaHAHAHAHA RICHIE RIGGINS WANTED $350/APPEARANCE HAHAHAHAHAAno. I'm going to go take a shower. A shower where I cannot drink the water, but cleansing nonetheless. Editor's note: Hall's idea of a cleansing shower is using lasers to burn everything on my body. Fun fact: I hate life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 <p><em>Eisaku Kunomasu had an interview today. Apparently he gets nervous when he's pushed up the card. Guess the lord of strong style is more the lord of nerve style. Yeah, that's grade A humor.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> Jeremy Kang walked in today. Kid's got a great look.</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/525976/4750049" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/30114273635.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Kang:</strong> You can call me Lou.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> I see right through your scheme.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Kang:</strong> FIREBALL!</p><p> </p><p> <em>And then he jumped at me and kicked with his legs while yelling like a schoolgirl.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong>15/$100?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Kang:</strong> Try $150.</p><p> </p><p> <em>And we were agreed. I actually managed to pull him for 20 months, as well.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> I thought about the future and I realized that we needed to start branding our shows. No, not for popularity, but for the fact that I could have two fake brands and make the third even-more-fake brand the sole one used on our shows. i.e. I could not use anyone but myself and make everyone happy. I waited, however, until the next negotiations were done.</em></p><p> </p><p> ~~~</p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/525994/4108486" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/30114410443.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 20 months at $50!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dunn:</strong> YAR I B BARBARUN NO</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> $100?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dunn:</strong> Travel.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> k. It's only another 50, anyway.</p><p> </p><p> <em>Hell yeah.</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/526001/307679" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/30114452873.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> So Mr. East Coast, ready to head down South?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Martin:</strong> Meh.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> I see you want a downside.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Martin:</strong> That's true.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> ...</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Martin:</strong> Well?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Dammit, I screwed over negotiations with you while I was thinking.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Martin:</strong> Oh no, now you can't fire me immediately.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Yep.</p><p> </p><p> <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p> ~~~</p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/526024/1170655" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/30115215983.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Didn't I already try to hire you?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Geena:</strong> Probably.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> You cost too much.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Geena:</strong> I'm not a whore.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> I'm not saying you're a gold-digger.</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/12/14/128737578209503335.jpg</span></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 Word from the wise: do not talk to a woman within cup check distance. I know, I know, you want a little hand-play. Cool. Now how about some ice-play and swelling-play. And pain. Lots and lots of pain. That too. Especially that. I had something to show Dr. Halliday. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/30205134018.jpg Avatar: What's that? Booker search? SO LONG SUCKERS! http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/30205151636.jpg Steve: What was that? Avatar: $1,500 per appearance, $800 downside, for 15 months. Steve: Sorry, I need more cash. Avatar: Hmm... When I went to offer more money, Dunton punched me in the back of the head. I had one card left to play. Avatar: Creative control. I waited with baited breath. Steve: That means absolutely nothing to me. Avatar: THE ****? CREATIVE CONTROL IS TOTALLY ****ING WORTH $500! God ****ing **** this ****ing...whatever. I'm going to offer you everything, even go short term for some weird reason after that, and you'll still refuse, right? Steve: Correct. Avatar: GUESS WHO JUST IMPULSIVELY BECAME AN ENEMY OF MINE! Hell yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/10/30205260226.jpg Dunton: So they are global now. Avatar: Yeah...wish I was there. Dunton: I doubt you would be used. Avatar: BAH GAWD KANG EIDENHOEK JUST MADE VENGEANCE TAP OUT! Dunton: ? Avatar: WAIT WHAT'S THIS HE JUST POKED CHRISTIAN FAITH IN THE CHEST AND FAITH IS OUT! IT'S THE NWO BROTHER HULKAMANIA IS RUNNING WILD ALLLL OVER YOUR CANDY ASSES! Dunton: Speaking of candy asses, Candy Floss has a firm buttocks. http://www.clker.com/cliparts/d/b/9/e/1194986459994010940smiley102.svg.med.png Dunton: Call me if anything interesting develops. Avatar: Would Captain USA joining at $1,500 with travel count? Dunton: Not really. Avatar: Okay then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/11/30803064955.jpg Hall: This is confirmation of my assumption that you have contacted him? Avatar: Make a big fuss about re-signing, sure, I'll bite. Hall: I see, also, that you will not be leaving us. Avatar: What? http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/11/30803080322.jpg Avatar: ...dammit. Hall: It looks like you will be unable to stage a coup to leave us. Avatar: Unless I coup Stomper. Hall: You wish to cut him? Avatar: FORCE MAJEURE! Hall: Though impressed by your ability to speak, I feel that you lack the understanding of that term. Avatar: You know what? I'm sick of you doubting me. I'm sick of people doubting me. What have I done? In one show, ONE SHOW, I've gone from being a complete unknown to the second most popular guy on the roster. And to whom? Captain USA. I JUST BROUGHT HIM ON! So I was the most popular, the biggest damn fish in this pond. But you doubt me. Tell me that I'm not good enough, I can't run this promotion. Well I done some good work for myself, haven't I? And the promotion is growing, it has money. So who the **** are you or anyone to question me? What, Ricky Dale Johnson not going to hop on board? He's too big for us? So what? So he's this company man, TCW through-and-through? Lies. SWF tosses him some money he'll defect. And everyone that won't? They're idiots. This business is about money. I don't need no cheap whores when I got the cash; I can buy whatever *****es I want! So you can complain about me not being refined, being rough around the edges, you can say what you want about me. But the truth? Truth is you don't got the guts to step in that ring. And that makes you worthless. Your talk is cheap, Dunton. No one cares because you can't walk the walk. I don't do the talking because I'M A ****ING PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER! I wrestle! And by the looks of it, I'm damn good because I'm the champ! So get off that damn high horse and let me do my job. I left his ass. Didn't even turn around when another door opened. **** that man. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2-7AdSkZA7I/RlCIiRD3ZPI/AAAAAAAAE7A/RkKKgUtu9nw/s400/jillian+hall-sexy.jpg Hall: No, no, I rather think now is not the time for his advance bonus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 I walked into my office. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/11/31300465045.jpg Avatar: I AM WHAT THE GODS HAVE MADE ME! Fred: What? Avatar: *random sex scene* Fred: What? Avatar: *smashes dude's head off with a door* Fred: So yeah, that $600 needs a title or something before I defect. Avatar: Defect? YORE tha defect! http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s59/schizoauthoress/bart-kelso-burn.gif Fred: So? Avatar: So 15 months is fine. How about $700? Fred: Title. Avatar: Meh, can't fire you then. Well, I think I can, but you're a horrible wrestler. Bye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Hall: I see you are skipping days. Avatar: Yep. If it don't matter to the company, don't matter to me. Hall: You will miss people being fired ro released from their contracts. Avatar: Look, by now I hope you realize what I want is popular people to dominate. That gets me more popular, making me more appealing to a large company. Hall: You have to quit here, then apply for a job, before a company will hire you. Avatar: Yeah, well, you got this save mixed up with the EPW save. So there! Hall: I believe you have negotiations to attend. Avatar: You have that 21CW dojo party to attend, I guess. Hall: Yes. Avatar: D: Hall: To those negotiations with ye! Ye I went to them. Atlas and Des Davids needed more convincing. Meanwhile, UEW had filled its head booker. I think that email came a bit late, but whatever. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/11/31700081862.jpg Avatar: So basically if I use you I'm screwed. If I don't? Screwed. James: Yep. Avatar: How about 15 months at 1k/600? James: Close. Avatar: 1.5k/700? James: Yep. He had no idea I was going to job him to me like 8 times the next show. Seriously. Probably going to fire him immediately afterward. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/11/31700110912.jpg Avatar: I'm hesitant to hire you; while I'm doing it to screw NYCW, I don't want to beat you. I have immense respect for what you did with Raymond Diaz. Wright: Fine with me. I was too expensive for you anyway. True dat. Then I talked with CapUSA. I can't get him off his travel expenses, and then he wants a title run. Psh. Maybe I'll job his ass out and then he'll leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 <p><em>Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a smile, then shove it STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS?!</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> Emma Chase. She's the breast manager as voted by the Internet. Just look at her talents:</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> </em><span>http://www.ringsidenews.com/file/pic/photo/2011/02/carrierlp-19566127093-001-2.jpg</span></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> I am going to ****ing kill Sammy Bach.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Hall:</strong> So you're going after Eisen?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> What? SWF?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Hall:</strong> No. Unless you really wanted Remmy Skye on our roster and were mad at them. I'm talking about Eric.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Oh. Yeah, then, probably I will.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Hall:</strong> Predictable as ever.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Your diction has gotten poorer.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Hall:</strong> Much like your mother. However, my diction <em>has</em> been working the streets. Unlike your mother. Hence why she is poor. Because she is a whore.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Dammit, I was going to say something but your poetry is the truth.</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://www.meh.ro/original/2009_09/meh.ro1948.png</span></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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