OctoberRaven Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Tuesdays at the Rainbow Bar and Grill in Ocala Florida are usually dull. Usually. I clocked in early one week, expecting the bar to be empty as it typically is at 7 PM. Usually we'll get the odd customer, then the local Dungeons and Dragons players from across the street at 10 followed shortly later by the league bowling crowd. This particular Tuesday, though, there was a customer talking to my manager, Phil LaForge. http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx212/Cverse_Rerender/J%20Silver/FumihiroOta_alt2.jpg I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something familiar about the guy. Not one of the regulars though... when I stepped up behind the bar, though, the guy smirked at Phil then turned to me. "Hey, kid... what's your name?" I was just about to put my bar apron on, so he didn't have a nametag to read. "Oh, I'm Rick. You need a top-off? Or..." He shook his head before asking me another question. "Actually, Rick, I want to offer you a part-time job. Actually, more of a business partnership. See, I made a bet with Phil here that I could get this company to work with the first guy who walked in, sight unseen." I raised my eyebrow. "What's the company?" "A wrestling promotion. You'll basically be helping out backstage, and taking part in writing the shows, maybe some bookeeping. I'm a wrestler myself..." Wait, that was it! "Yeah, you're Fumihiro Ota! Oh man, I'm a big fan of yours, I just didn't recognize you without your mask." "Hey now," Phil said. "That's not fair man, I could have told you Rick's a huge wrestling mark." Fumihiro smirked. "Yeah, but you said whoever came in first. And he came in first." Then he turned to me. "So, what do you say kid? Want to get in the business? If nothing else, we'll make Phil have his Christmas Party in a dress." Looking to my boss, and grinning like a 12 year old who got propositioned by a supermodel. "Nothing personal Phil... but I've always wanted to book my own wrestling show. I'm so freakiing in." Fumihiro's smirk became a smile. "So, let me tell you about the guys I've got coming for the show, and what we're gonna do..." NEXT- Meet our roster, and find out what my first owner goals are too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 then the local Dungeons and Dragons players from across the street at 10 followed Diary of the Year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted February 4, 2012 Author Share Posted February 4, 2012 Part Two: Roster and Owner Goals and More Backstory Stuff Fumihiro would give me the details of what he had in mind with the company; it was going to be called JOKER, or Jumping Original Kings of Extreme Rasslin. "I'm going for basically a little bit of comedy, a little bit of fast-paced cruiserweight wrestling," he'd explain to me. He was also looking to have a sizable profit of 10,000 in two years, as well as for JOKER to be considered at least the #37 promotion in the world. "Well, where do you think we'd be at to start?" I asked. "...37." He quickly changed the subject, letting me know he didn't want untrained workers in the ring. So if I had to hire any new talent, they had to show they were athletic enough, safe enough, and understood selling well enough to work an eight-to-ten minute match. A week later, and we were already in rehearsal mode. Fumihiro rented an old warehouse to serve as storage place for our office-slash-equpment storage-slash-rehearsal stage. Moreover, we had our roster all ready to go: http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/4931/antman.jpg First there's Ant-Man. This kid looks like a typical cruiserweight, but he's probably one of the strongest youngsters you've ever seen. Fumihiro showed me a tape where he slammed a 400 lb guy while making it look effortless. This kid can get over with his skills alone, but we're also going to give him spiked shoulderpads and facepaint, putting him over as a super badass muscleman. http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/4003/evilspirit.jpg Next up is Evil Spirit. Fumihiro saw this guy while touring Japan. His gimmick- that of a vicious murderer brought back from the dead- is pretty new, but he's a seven year veteran. We're also adding a valet called Yurei (played by upstart indy valet Kammy Ling), who will be playing the role of one of Evil Spirit's murder victims in life, bound to him in the afterlife. http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/4198/fumihiroota.jpg There's my boss of course, "Super Ninja" Fumihiro Ota. His gimmick is pretty self-explanatory, though we're adding a couple touches to the gimmick for the promotion, including a four foot long scarf and flash powder "smokescreens". And the only thing more inherently gimmicky than a ninja wrestler... http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/420/hughdeaskealt2.jpg Is a pirate wrestler, and that's where "The Dread Pirate" Hugh de Aske comes in. Between him and Ota, they're the most talented guys we got, so they'll be the focus of the show. http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/5108/jebediah.jpg Next is Jebediah (not entirely sure if that's his real first name), and he's the biggest dude we got. He's also brought his own gimmick, that of an Amish wrestler. We're going to just make one sliiiight modification to it, playing off the fact that he's deceptively athletic, by making him an Amish breakdancer. http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/572/ksquaredalt1.jpg K-Squared was the first guy that Fumihiro Ota gave a complete makeover to. Kenny has a really good infomercial pitchman impression, so he turned him into Kenny Mace, the EVIL wrestling pitchman. http://img861.imageshack.us/img861/1640/roderickremus.jpg Then there's Roderick Remus, whose also the twin brother of one of our announcers, Remington Remus. Fumihiro actually had me involved with his gimmick, and we settled on Munchie, The Extreme Hippy, complete with a valet (Chloe Dean) who we've dubbed Spaghetti. It was Rod's idea. http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2940/islandboyapollo.jpg Island Boy Apollo was a hard cookie to work with. He's got a good look and star presence, but not much of a character. We decided he would lose the facepaint and wear a 1980s leisure suit, and become Simon Apollo, New Wave Superstar. We also hired Julie Floretta to play a groupie under the name Julie Le Bon. http://img833.imageshack.us/img833/415/ernieturner.jpg Ernie Turner is a really charismatic guy, but Ota didn't like his pimp gimmick that much. Instead, we put a mask on him and called him... Some Guy In A Mask. The idea being that he plays a neurotic wrestler who never actually bothered giving us a ring name. Among other wacky traits. http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9625/stretchthechickenboy.jpg Stretch the Chicken Boy. Worst Ring Name Ever? More like BEST Ring Name Ever. He's also a decent technician, but his overall goofiness was his main selling point for the company. http://img36.imageshack.us/img36/4712/supersonictl.jpg Next up was Super Sonic. He's a former backyarder who called himself the "Redneck Luchador". We plan on playing up on that name, his persona being that he believes himself to be a luchador born in raised in Mexico, even though he knows almost zero Spanish and speaks like a stereotypical redneck. http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/4385/tedbradyalt1.jpg Finally, Ted Brady. He was the first guy Ota contacted to join the company, mostly as until recently he wrestled as "The Cheeky Monkey" Matty Phatty. But he won't be playing Matty Phatty, only a guy trying so hard to be serious but haunted by the schtick to the point where he brings the costume with him, dresses his opponents in it, then beats them mercilessly. We also had Davis Ditterich and Remmington Remus as our announcers, and young but really talented referee Wilson Carlisle to call matches as well. Former wrestler Reese Paige would also help out in working with wrestlers in planning and scripting the spots in individual matches. "Your main job during events," Fumihiro explained to me, "Will be making sure production is going well. We'll be streaming shows on the Internet at first, then switching to DVD format when we have enough of a fanbase to justify the costs. You'll also have an earpiece with Davis, Remmy, Wilson, and our production crew. So if anything goes out of hand, I trust you to be able to tell them how to react. Remember; they can hear you, but you can only hear our announcers." "You know I've never done any of this before right?" "I know. But we still have a long way before our first show. I'm not sending you in totally blind. We're going to run... drills, as it were. Things I've seen go wrong at live events, to see how you react to them." "Cool. So, when's our first show?" "A month from now. Wednesday, at Rainbow Bar. Guaranteed audience, no gate but merch sales and ad space will cover our costs. Plus, since we know the owner, he won't charge us venue rental. It'll take 200 bucks to rent a truck to transport the ring, but I got that covered. For now, let's go over what we're going to do for our debut..." NEXT- The first show! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEffect Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I am now marking out for Kenny Mace. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Roguey Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Amish breakdancer? I LOVE IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 JOKER: This Time It's Personal "No More Mister Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper would play as Ted Brady was the first to head out the curtain, carrying a breifcase with him and a microphone in his hands. Brady: I've been in this business for fifteen years now... and here I am, reduced to this. In the middle of a seafood bar in the smelliest city in North America. I mean, when was the last time any of you even bathed? Hell, I don't know why I am bothering because sooner or later one of you mutants are going to... This is the cue I gave to a couple friends I planted to liven things up... Fans: MAT-TY PHAT-TY!" (Clap Clap Clapclapclap) Brady: THAT! THAT! YOU CHANT THE NAME OF THAT STUPID MONKEY! For five years I wore that stupid, stupid outfit, and made all those moronic poop jokes... and all just because people like you refused to respect me for the talent I am. 'Why don't you bring him back' you say, 'You were a hit on the Internet' you say.... YEAH, RIGHT NEXT TO THE ILLITERATE CATS, BIG DEAL! ...You know what? I'm sick of standing here in front of you inbred morons... bring out my opponent so I can finish my match and get out of here! Cue "Eat The Rich" by Aerosmith as Stretch the Chicken Boy came out for our first match of the evening, wearing a T-shirt for Ocala Dragon's Pit, the pen and paper gaming store across the street from us, which got a reaction from a guy playing Magic: The Gathering in the corner. MATCH 1: TED BRADY VS STRETCH THE CHICKEN BOY Brady seemed disgusted at the mere sight of Stretch, but eventually locked up with him, backing Stretch into the ropes, breaking only to slap him in the face. They locked up again and Stretch deftly managed to get a headlock takedown and keep Brady to the mat! Ted was stuck on the canvas but managed to scoot his way to the ropes to break the hold. Back to a vertical base but not for long as Stretch hit a snapmare and applying a seated surfboard, but Ted got to a vertical base and jerked his arm free, elbowing Stretch in the jaw, then turning around to punch him in the face before clubbing him with a double axehandle. Ted Brady grabbed the breifcase and opened it, but before he could do anything Stretch recovered and went for a schoolboy for a two count. Stretch with an Irish Whip and a drop toe hold, following up with a splash on the back of Ted Brady for another two count. Picking Ted up and hooking him for a butterfly suplex, but Ted blocks it, freeing his arms and hitting a Manhattan drop, following up with a running forearm before going back to the breifcase... and pulling out the Matty Phatty costume! Stretch gets up but Brady throws the costume over him and hits a horizontal press, following up with punches in the mount before going to force Stretch into the costume, punching him in the head to keep him from fighting out. Once the costume was on Stretch, Brady stomped on him mercilessly until Wilson Carlisle finally pulls him off to give him a warning. Stretch would recover with this opening and dropkick Brady into the corner, following up to look for an avalanche... but Brady gets away, and Stretch hits the corner hard, and staggers to a waiting Ted Brady... kick to the gut, and a DDT! Brady rolls him over and hooks the leg, one, two, three. WINNER: Ted Brady via pinfall (DDT) After Brady and Stretch left the ring, "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al Yankovic plays on the sound system as Jebediah shucks and jives on the way to the ring, and continues to bust a move... Until "Who Are You" by The Who interrupts his dance, signaling the arrival of Some Guy In A Mask, who has a microphone. SGIAM: What in the name of Chuck Yaegar's underpants is this? I didn't come here to do hippy hop with some hooligan! It says marquee on the wrestling, my friends... SGIAM enters the ring now, and Jebediah finally stops dancing. SGIAM: And I am here to do just that! I'm going to prove that I am the best wrestler not only in Ocala, not only in the United States, but in ALL OF FLORIDA... and... hold on a second. Some Guy turns to one of the turnbuckles, pointing directly at it threateningly. SGIAM: SHUT YOUR MOUTH, STEVEN! THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Then he turns back to Jebediah. SGIAM: ...Sorry, he interrupts me all the time, it's a real headache. Now where was I? ...Dammit I lost my place! Forget it, let's just wrestle now! MATCH TWO: JEBEDIAH VS SOME GUY IN A MASK Some Guy rushes Jebediah and tries to shoulder tackle him, but instead ends up plopping on the floor instead. He gets back up and heads to the ropes, but his second attempt ends up with him looking up at the lights again, Jebediah not even budging. A third attempt and Jebediah lariats him and picks up the masked man and delivers a suplex for a two count. Jebediah picks him up for a slam but SG slips out the backdoor and dropkicks Jebediah from behind into the ropes and hit a second dropkick to send him to the ground, then applied an armbar. Jebediah gets to the ropes for a break, and Some Guy gets on the second rope to catch Jedediah with a flying double knee, and following up with a legdrop bulldog for a two count. Some Guy looks to continue this flurry of offense but Jebediah cuts him off with a standing cross body! He goes to the top rope for the Sundown Splash (moonsault) but Some Guy gets his knees up! This stuns the big Amish warrior enough for Some Guy to hit the ropes and nail his Ode To Starman (Flying Cross Chop) for a three count. WINNER: Some Guy In A Mask via pinfall ("Ode to Starman") After the ring was cleared, Los Lobos' cover of "La Bamba" played as Super Sonic headed down the ring, wearing a John Deere hat and mirrored sunglasses, and with a microphone in hand. Super Sonic: I tell you whut, all yall people out here in Flor-ee-duh in fer a real special treat tonight, cause all the way from Yew-ar-es Me-hi-co, Super Sonic, the Redneck Luchy-dor is here to give you what's whut. Now I done heard tonight that I'm facin a little fella they call Ant-Man tonight, and lemme tell you somethin' straight outta the caba-yellow's mouth... if that Ant-Man com-pren-day have any chance in this'un, then I ain' no awe-than-tic luchy-dor! Super Sonic gestured to the entrance way, and "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath played as Ant-Man came down to the ramp in spiked shoulderpads and face paint, flexing his muscles as he posed in the ring before the match began. MATCH THREE: ANT-MAN VS SUPER SONIC Lockup and Super Sonic with an arm drag followed by a second, going to the rope to springboard off of it, but Ant-Man catches him into an Atomic Drop! Gutwrench suplex follows and Ant-Man is in control. Ant-Man follows up with a big elbow drop and picks Super Sonic up for an Irish Whip, but Super Sonic reverses, leapfrogs over Ant-Man, then turns around to nail him with an enzuigiri! Super Sonic follows up with a leg drop for a two count, Ant-Man recovering as Super Sonic looked for a suplex... blocked, Ant-Man hoists him up... HOLDS HIM THERE... and eventually plants him into the canvas! Signaling for the end, he puts Super Sonic onto his shoulders... ANT-IDOTE! (Death Valley) The cover, one, two, three! WINNER: Ant-Man via Pinfall ("Ant-idote") "And The Wind Cries Mary" by Jimi Hendrix would play on the speakers next as Munchie The Extreme Hippy came out with Spaghetti in tow, holding a microphone in his hand. Munchie: Hey, all you crazy cats... I'm feelin extra groovy tonight, and I've got something totally far out in mind for you tonight, man... Voice: HI KENNY MACE HERE AND I GOT A FANTASTIC NEW PRODUCT FOR YOU! Instead of music, Kenny Mace just came out to the sound of his own voice, carrying a box with him. He didn't have a microphone, instead he was projecting solely by himself. Kenny: NOW WE ALL KNOW THAT HIPPIES LOVE ACOUSTIC GUITARS, AND ALSO LOVE ILLEGAL NARCOTICS. AND THAT THEIR BIGGEST PROBLEM IS NOT BEING ABLE TO ENJOY SAID NARCOTICS WHILE PLAYiNG THE GUITAR, BUT NO LONGER THANKS TO... Kenny opens the box, revealing a guitar with a glass pipe sticking out of the neck. Kenny: THE BONGATAR, HALF BONG, HALF GUITAR! IT COMES WITH NICKEL PLATED ACOUSTIC STRINGS, AND HAS GENUINE HIPPY CRAFTSMANSHIP, LOOK AT THIS... He sets the "Bongatar" down and stands on top of the body. Kenny: YOU CAN ACTUALLY STAND ON THIS GUITAR! NOW THAT IS CLASS AND LUXURY! AND ALL THIS, PLUS MY PATENTED YELLOW DISHRAGS, ONLY FOR THREE HUNDRED FOURTY-SIX PAYMENTS OF NINE NINETY FIVE! Munchie: Dude... you're totally bumming me out man... I mean... the Bongatar is totally far out, but you're so... corporate man. It's a total buzzkill to be so materialistic. Because the thing about being materialistic is... that it's materialistic. And that's bad man. So I'm gonna totally mellow you out man... by dropping you right on your skull, man... Munchie threw down the microphone and dove at Kenny with a plancha, before rolling him into the ring for the next contest. MATCH FOUR: MUNCHIE THE EXTREME HIPPY (w/ Spaghetti) VS KENNY MACE Kenny backed off from Munchie when the bell rang, but as the Hippy closed in Kenny was forced to act with a thumb to the eye and clubbing forearms, but Munchie recovered and delt some damage of his own with some open-handed strikes and hiptossing Mace out of the corner. Mace ducks a lariat and springboards into a double axe handle! A two count and Mace would throw Munchie into the ropes for a jumping heel kick and even an old school headscissors takedown! But when he looked for a superkick, Munchie caught it and delivered a dragon screw and a half crab. Kenny gets to the ropes and Munchie keeps on the attack, a knee to the gut before delivering a butterfly suplex. A two count and Munchie picks up Kenny and sends him to the ropes for a kitchen sink knee, going for a headbutt drop but Kenny rolls out of the way, hitting a legdrop bulldog as Munchie gets up. Kenny gets a two count and then signals for the end, hooking Munchie's arms for the Down Payment (Pedigree)... but Munchie gets his arms free and lifts him up, hooking his head... for the Psychedelic Driver (Schwein)! The three count follows as Munchie gets the win. WINNER: Munchie the Extreme Hippy by pinfall ("Psychedelic Driver") After an intermission, "Evil" by Mercyful Fate played as Evil Spirit headed down to the ring with Yurei in tow, followed by "Bring Us Pints of Beer" by Korkiplaani signalling the entrance of Hugh de Aske, who has a microphone. Hugh: Avast ye scurvy dogs! I, the Dread Pirate Hugh de Aske, be here to face that sneaky ninja Fumihiro Ota... his clan and me crew have been deuling for years and on... and I shall not rest until I run him through with my cutlass and send him to Davy Jones' locker, yar. So bring him and Simon Apollo so I can collect me bounty for this eve, yar... "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran would hit next, as Simon Apollo made his way down the ring with Julie Le Bon. After that, "Strike of the Ninja" by Dragonforce played as Fumihiro Ota rolled through the entranceway, striking a pose before running around the ring before rolling inside, his scarf fluttering wildly with his movements, and he would brandish a plastic ninja sword and pose with it. MAIN EVENT: Hugh de Aske and Evil Spirit (w/ Yurei) vs Fumihiro Ota and Simon Apollo (w/ Julie Le Bon) JOKER tag rules allow for lucha libre-style tags. Hugh de Aske and Ota locked up in the center of the ring, de Aske transitions into a headlock, and Ota slips out into a hammerlock. Hugh would elbow free and look for a snapmare, but Ota LANDS ON HIS FEET and hits a snapmare of his own! de Aske tags out to Evil Spirit, who rushes to Ota and pummels the Super Ninja with closed fists and elbows, Irish Whip and a flying shoulder tackle by the Evil Spirit. Evil Spirit grabs Ota's and puts his neck on the second rope and presses down with his knee! Referee Wilson Carlisle makes Evil Spirit break the choke and this allows Ota tags to Simon Apollo. Apollo (who had taken off his pants in exchange for wearing tights but kept his jacket and shirt on) and hammers Evil Spirit with elbows and grabbing him in a bearhug, but the fiend headbutts his way to safety and runs to the ropes to hit him with a big forearm before tagging in Hugh de Aske who jumps over the top rope and hitting a leaping lariat, before yelling "YAR!" as he does a standing frog splash for a two count. de Aske then throws Simon through the second rope to force a tag, and turns around... right into a springboard frankenrana by Ota! de Aske manages to recover rolling to his corner... not to tag Evil Spirit but to grab his plastic cutlass! Ota motions to Julie Le Bon who throws him his ninja sword and they cross plastic swords! They block each others strikes until they end up with their swords flying out of their hands and sliding out of the ring, de Aske with an eye gouge and looking for the Cut Throat Driver (Emerald Frosion)... but OTA DROPS A SMOKEBOMB! de Aske's surprise allows Ota to slip out of the driver and flips over the ropes to set up for another springboard move... but de Aske recovers just in time and dropkicks Ota off the ropes! Simon Apollo enters the ring, decking de Aske with a brutal lariat, throwing him into the ropes as Evil Spirit blind tags, hitting de Aske with another lariat before throwing him into the corner for an avalanche, signalling for the finish with the Flock of Seagulls (Pounce)... but runs right into Evil Sprit's arms, DEAD CALM DROP! (Spinning Side Slam) One, two, and three! WINNERS: Hugh de Aske and Evil Spirit via pinfall ("Dead Calm Drop" on Simon Apollo) de Aske would celebrate as Evil Spirit dragged Yurei away to close the show. ------ Overall the event was considered a moderate success. Only 11 of the bargoers (not counting my plants) actually paid attention to the event, but those who did seemed to have a good time. Plus Phil managed a good enough payday to let us keep running shows here, at least until we can afford a real venue. Which wasn't until May, but Ota said when we started making a bigger profit we'd be doing monthly shows. NEXT TIME- We crown a champion! Kind of! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 JOKER Like Ballet But With More Explosions Before our first match, we announced that the winner of tonight's main event of Ant-Man vs Evil Spirit would win a fantastic special prize: An apron provided to us by Ocala Fine Meats, the best butcher shop in the county! Well, third best. MATCH ONE: TED BRADY and SUPER SONIC vs SIMON APOLLO (w/ Julie Le Bon) and JEBEDIAH Super Sonic and Jebediah started up in this match, Super Sonic trying to arm drag the big man but not able to get enough momentum to throw him over. He goes to the ropes to try a springboard arm drag but Jebediah caught him, turning it into a big scoop slam before doing the robot and following up with an elbow drop. Jebediah continued to boogie until Ted Brady got into the ring, decking Big Jeb from behind with forearms, knocking him back into the corner and choking him with a boot. Brady gets told off by Wilson Carlisle, before threatening him and delivering some chops to Jebediah. He then heads to the ropes to launch himself at the big man but Jeb throws him to the floor before tagging Simon Apollo. Apollo decks Super Sonic with a lariat before picking him up for a press slam, looking for a pinfall and only getting a two count. Apollo poses for the crowd before throwing Super Sonic to the ropes, but he manages to springboard into a dropkick! Super Sonic with a legdrop, but the pinfall is broken by Jebediah. Super Sonic looking to capitalize with a flying kneelkick, but Simon countered with a modified powerbomb, picking him up and throwing him to the ropes to set up for the Flock of Seagulls but Ted Brady pulled down the ropes he ran to to send him over! Super Sonic distracts the referee by pretending to have been tripped by Julie Le Bon, allowing Ted Brady to deck the now-legal Jebediah with his briefcase from behind and then hitting a DDT! Brady slides the briefcase back to his corner as Super Sonic dove at Simon Apollo to keep him outside, and Brady makes the pin, one, two, three! WINNERS: Ted Brady and Super Sonic via pinfall (DDT on Jebediah) Ted then grabbed the briefcase and opened it to get the Matty Phatty costume, then rolled out of the ring... heading to Julie Le Bon and yelling at her to put it on... But Simon Apollo clubbed him from behind, popping his collar before rolling Ted Brady into the ring and sliding in himself, running to the ropes, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS! Ted Brady is set packing as Simon embraces his groupie before heading to the back as well. When the ring was cleared, "Strike of the Ninja" by Dragonforce hits as Fumihiro Ota heads to the ring, scarf flowing as he rushes around the ring... Voice: HI KENNY MACE HERE AND I HAVE A FANTASTIC NEW PRODUCT FOR YOU! Kenny Mace headed down the ring carrying another long box. Kenny: NOW I KNOW A LOT ABOUT YOU FUMIHIRO OTA, THAT YOU ARE A CHINESE NINJA WARRIOR, WITH A HEART SO COLD. I ALSO KNOW THAT YOU RELY A LOT ON YOUR NINJA SWORD, WELL, HAVE I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU! Kenny opened the box, revealing a sword of his own, with a Hello Kitty sticker on the blade. Kenny: THIS IS AN AUTHENTIC 1830 SAMURAI SWORD, CAPABLE OF CUTTING THROUGH FOUR PEOPLE, A COPY OF THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK, A 14 CARAT DIAMOND, AND A HERRING! IT'S SO SHARP, THE ONLY WAY TO SHARPEN IT IS WITH OTHER MORE INFERIOR SWORDS, AND IT CAN BE YOURS FOR ONLY FOUR PAYMENTS OF TWO THOUSAND FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS! Kenny rolls into the ring to hold out the sword for Ota to look at it, but Ota breaks it in half with his own (plastic) sword, before tossing his sword aside to start the match. MATCH TWO: FUMIHIRO OTA vs KENNY MACE Ota pummeled Kenny with a series of kicks before hitting a leaping sobat that knocks Mace back into the ropes and Ota would follow up with a FrankenRana! Mace gets back to his feet only for Ota to look for a vertical suplex but Mace manages to counter into a flying guillotine coke, Ota managing to get free by holding on to the ropes, but Mace gets an advantage following up with a snap suplex for a two count. Kenny would get to the top rope for a missile dropkick, but Ota moves out of the way and Kenny hits the canvas backfirst, rolling onto his stomach in pain. Ota measures up Kenny, who gets up... and eats a Ninja Strike (running step up enzuigiri) for a three count! WINNER: Fumihiro Ota via pinfall ("Ninja Strike") After the ring cleared, "And The Wind Cries Mary" by Jimi Hendrix hits as Munchie The Extreme Hippy and Spaghetti come down the ramp, followed by "Eat The Rich" by Aerosmith, signaling the arrival of Stretch the Chicken Boy who came wearing a shirt that reads "You can't beat Ocala Fine Meats!" and with a microphone in hand. Stretch: Before we have our match Mister Hippy Dippy Man, couldja tell me why your girl feller's name's pasgeddy? It's just such a weird name fer a pretty lady, 'n not a properlike name'tall, like Stretch'n'Munchie is. Munchie: Well ya gotta understand man... see, we're hippies man... it's this totally far out state of mind... "proper" things are just society telling you what to do man... you got to listen to the society in your SOUL man... names are just words without meanings anyway... I mean, if a rose were to go by any other name, it wouldn't matter because if you smoked it it'd still all be groovy, you know what I'm sayin' man? Stretch: ...I don' get any a that Mister Hippy Dippy Shippy Man.. Before Munchie can speak more though, Hugh de Aske and Some Guy In A Mask would rush the ring and attack the babyfaces to start the match early! MATCH THREE: MUNCHIE THE EXTREME HIPPY (w/ Spaghetti) and STRETCH THE CHICKEN BOY vs HUGH DE ASKE and SOME GUY IN A MASK De Aske and SGIAM would clean house and De Aske would follow Munchie to the floor and smash him headfirst into the ring steps before rolling him into the ring, and SGIAM would drop a knee on his leg before stretching it out. Munchie would try to make it to the ropes but SGIAM would drag him to the middle and apply a spinning toe hold, before suddenly letting go and heading to the neutral corner, yelling "SHUT UP, STEVEN, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A MATCH!" This allowed Munchie to recover and hit a backdrop before rolling to tag in Stretch, who would flip over the ropes. Twisting SGIAM's arm into a hammerlock, SGIAM would bend over and pick a leg, but Stretch used his other leg to push SGIAM into the ropes, rolling onto his stomach to stay under Some Guy, before springing up for a flying bodyscissors press for a two count. Stretch would pose for the crowd allowing Some Guy to roll out of the ring and Hugh de Aske to take his place, hitting Stretch with a Russian Legsweep, picking him up and whipping him into the ropes to hit a big flying knee to Stretch before following that up with a butterfly suplex and a two count. Stretch tries to make a comeback with a crossbody but Some Guy breaks the pin and he and Hugh hit Stretch with a double brainbuster, but Stretch managed to roll to the ropes safely, and Munchie hit the ring with a lariat for Hugh, then one for Some Guy too. Munchie would scoop slam Hugh then got him in a headscissors takedown, bouncing off the ropes for a headbutt drop and a two count. Munchie then looked for Psychedelic Driver, but Hugh managed to counter into a sunset flip for a nearfall. Munchie went to the ropes for a cross body but Hugh dropkicked him then hit the standing frog splash, signalling for the Cut-Throat Driver. Hugh set it up but Munchie took the backdoor, Hugh grabs Wilson Carlisle's shirt to distract him while he mule kicks Munchie in the groin! Hugh hits a running double knee to Stretch next before hitting the Cut-Throat Driver for the three count. WINNERS: Hugh de Aske and Some Guy In A Mask via pinfall ("Cut-Throat Driver" on Munchie) After our intermission, "War Pigs" played as Ant-Man came out in his shoulder pads and facepaint, as well as having a microphone. Ant-Man: THE MIGHTIEST OF MIGHTIEST WARRIORS HAS ARRIVED TOWARDS THIS BAR OF CHROMATIC LIGHT! TONIGHT HE SHALL RAISE THE SWORD OF EXCALIBUR UPON THE PALE SHORES OF RHODE ISLAND'S MOONLIT BEACHES, AND STRIKE DOWN THE SINISTER FIEND KNOWN AS THE EVIL SPIRIT! DESTRUCTOCITY SHALL ENSUE AS ANT-MAN.... CLAIMS THE APRON OF JUSTICE, TO BRING UPON THE END OF VILLAINY AND WORDS THAT BEGIN AND END IN THE LETTER U! After that confusing tirade, "Evil" by Mercyful Fate played as Evil Spirit and Yurei headed down the ramp, and the referee held up the apron which the two wrestlers will vie for. MAIN EVENT FOR THE JOKER OCALA FINE MEATS APRON OF JUSTICE: ANT-MAN vs EVIL SPIRIT (w/ Yurei) Ant-Man would lock up with Evil Spirit, and after a while, would actually throw Evil Spirit over his head with a suplex from the collar and elbow! Evil Sprit would head to Ant-Man and get hiptossed for his troubles! Evil Spirit rolled out of the ring, then looked to Yurei, who gave him a frightened look... Evil Spirit would grab her by the shoulders and she would shudder and shake violently before collapsing. Evil Spirit slid back in the ring and BLASTED Ant-Man with a HUGE lariat that made him flip to his belly! Picking up Ant-Man and following up with a brutal belly to belly for a two count, he would follow up by throwing Ant-Man by his throat into the corner, then heading to the opposite corner for an avalanche... but Ant-Man gets out of the way! Evil Spirit turns around and Ant-Man tries to give him a lariat.... but Evil Spirit doesn't budge! He tries for a hiptoss, but again, Evil Spirit doesn't move! Ditterich and Remus can't make heads or tails of what Evil Spirit did to resist the power of Ant-Man, but Evil Spirit manages to hip-toss the Ant with ease before following up with a splash and a two count. He picked up Ant-Man and hit him with a powerslam for another two count, then did a throat slit before setting up for a torture rack! Ant-Man began to fade, and then Evil Spirit would slam him down stomach first! Wilson Carlisle checked his arm once... twice... THE THIRD TIME IT STAYS UP! AND ANT-MAN IS BUGGING OUT! HE POWERS UP BACK TO HIS FEET! Evil Spirit punches him but to know effect, but Ant-Man shoves him off and delivers a vicious series of elbows and an Irish Whip with a Kitchen Sink! Ant-Man flexing wildly... and he lifts Evil Spirit onto his shoulders... ANT-IDOTE! HOOKING THE LEGS, ONE, TWO, THREE! WINNER AND HOLDER OF THE OCALA FINE MEATS APRON OF JUSTICE: Ant-Man via Pinfall ("Ant-idote") Ant-Man would raise his hands to the sky to thank his insectoid gods before donning the Apron to end the show. ---- We had the same amount of people watching, 11, tonight. Which means that, while we didn't gain more fans, it looks like it was the same people so we have a loyal dozen-minus-one who might be willing to spread the word. Hey, girlfriend's stuffed snow leopard cub! HIGH FIVE! http://cl.jroo.me/z3/v/k/j/d/a.aaa.gif YEAH! NEXT- Ant-Man defends the Apron! And other stuff I guess! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smwilliams Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 This is amazing! I can't even put into words how much I enjoyed the writing in the first two shows. My new dream in life is to win the Ocala Fine Meats Apron of Justice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 Unfortunately three weeks before our third show, we got a double whammy. Wilson Carlisle AND Ernie Turner both told me and Fumihiro Ota they were heading to Canadian Golden Combat. So they were both relocating to Vancouver. Luckily Ota made some calls. Johnny Bloodstone has a protege, Jared Johnson, and he happened to be looking for bookings. We also hired Dewey Libertine as a referee, and decided to make him The Masked Referee. This way if he gets scooped up, we can replace him and put the mask on someone else instead. As for Jared, well, Ota and I consulted the D&D players who gather at the bar for help with the gimmick we had in mind for him... ------------- JOKER Insert Event Name Here The show opened with Davis Ditterich in the ring, addressing the barflies and our dedicated... less than a dozen fans. Ditterich: "How is everyone doing tonight?" He pauses for mild, unenthusiastic cheers before continuing. Ditterich: "Alright! Well Some Guy In A Mask had challenged Jebediah to a dance off tonight, however on his way to the arena, he got distracted by a car with Montana licensed plates, and for whatever reason, hired a taxi to chase it all the way to Montana. So instead, I'm going to take his place, so let's do this Jeb!" "Amish Paradise" hit and Jebediah headed down the ramp, and sized up Davis before signalling for the sound crew... who played "Dueling Banjos" as Jeb started popping and locking, cabbage patching, and finishing with a headspin to scattered clapping. The camera would briefly cut to a fan dressed for some reason as the Hamburgler nodding in approval. Davis would now signal for the sound guys to cue up "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cindi Lauper as Davis started doing the robot and the funky chicken, and our plants would start cheering for him. He'd wind up for the worm, but Jebediah hit him with a forearm and bodyslammed him, looking to go to the top rope for the Sundown Splash... But stopped when Ant-Man hit the ring wearing the Ocala Fine Meats Apron of Justice! He slid into the ring but Jeb dropped onto the apron and off it to the back, but Ant-Man would point at himself, then to Jeb, then to the ring. Jebediah did a throat slit as a reply before Ant-Man helped Davis to the announce table. With the ring cleared, "Eat The Rich" by Aerosmith would announce the arrival of Stretch the Chicken Boy, whose shirt this show simply read "SHIRTS". After he entered the ring, "The Bard's Tale: The Hobbit" by Blind Guardian announced the arrival of Darej the Arcane Trickster, dressed in a hide jerkin and carrying a broomstick with a dayglo ball on the end as a 'magical staff'. Once he entered the ring... Kenny: HI KENNY MACE HERE AND I HAVE A FANTASTIC NEW PRODUCT FOR YOU! Kenny Mace came out carrying a MASSIVE box this time on a dolly. Kenny: NOW BOTH OF YOU ARE OBVIOUS NERDS, AND AS WE ALL KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE AS NERDY AS YOU ARE, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET A REAL GIRLFRIEND. WELL I'VE GOT THE NEW NEXT BEST THING... Kenny sets down the dolly and tries to open the box, but before he can open it to reveal the product, Ted Brady runs out the bathroom with his briefcase in hand, sliding into the ring and decking Stretch with the case from behind to start the match! MATCH ONE: STRETCH THE CHICKEN BOY and DAREJ THE ARCANE TRICKSTER vs KENNY MACE and TED BRADY Ted Brady would toss the briefcase aside and work over Stretch with repeated elbow drops before picking him and up and hitting a butterfly suplex. Tag to Kenny Mace who enters the ring, double Irish whip... tandem lariat ducked and Stretch gives them a double lariat before putting Kenny in a grounded headscissors. Stretch works him over before Kenny manages to pop his head free, but when going for a dropkick finds himself caught and slingshotted into the corner! Darej tags in during the middle of a Stretch monkey flip, getting in the ring to hit a knee drop for a two count. Darej keeps the offense going with some fast-paced cruiserweight moves like a running double knee strike and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A frog splash off the top misses and Ted Brady gets into the ring as Kenny rolls out, applying a surfboard with his foot on the back of the head while pulling on Darej's arms. Stretch breaks it up and Kenny rolls back into the ring, and the match devolves into total chaos with the two sides brawling. Stretch manages to dropkick Ted Brady to the floor and Darej uses a flash paper fireball to send Kenny over as well. Kenny recovers first even though the fireball stunned him, Stretch alley-oops Darej over the ropes for a tope con hijo! Strech readies to do a dive of his own.... but Ted Brady rolls into the ring behind him, and as Stretch gets ready to run the ropes he eats a boot to the gut and a vicious DDT to end the match. WINNERS: Kenny Mace and Ted Brady via pinfall (Brady DDT to Stretch). After the ring was cleared, "Strike of the Ninja" by Dragonforce would hit as Fumihiro Ota made his way down the ramp. Then "Evil" by Mercyful Fate hit as Evil Spirit sauntered through the ramp... alone?! The camera would pan to Yurei crawling form under the ring, grabbing the Hamburgler and dragging him kicking and screaming under the ring. Evil Spirit continued to stall for time and Yurei would emerge from under the ring, her mouth dripping with stage blood, and she snatched the pouch on Ota's belt that held his blinding powder, the Super Ninja unaware as the match began. MATCH TWO: FUMIHIRO OTA vs EVIL SPIRIT (w/ Yurei) Ota would start off strong taking Evil Spirit for a ride with some arm drags and a dragon screw, but when he went for the Irish whip Evil Spirit countered with a kitchen sink knee and worked over the ninja with a camel clutch. Ota managed to slip out but Evil Spirit kept on the offensive with clubbing forearms and sending Ota to the floor, following him out as he rammed him backfist into the apron. Ota manages to make it back in the ring, realizing his pouch is missing when he reaches for it, giving Evil Spirit an opportunity to enter the ring and deck him with a lariat for a nearfal Evil Spirit looks for a spinebuster but Ota counters with a front lungblower, getting a two count of his own. Yurei gets on the apron and gets the powder egg from the pouch... but Ota produces a Buddhist spell scroll from his gi and plants it on Yurei's forehead, making her freeze up! Evil Spirit has recovered however and throws Ota to the ropes for the Dead Calm Drop... but Ota floats over with a crucifix pin! One, two, three! WINNER: Fumihiro Ota via pinfall (Crucifix) After Ota and Evil Spirit clear the ring (Evil Spirit carrying the paralyzed Yurei to the back), "Bring Us Pints of Beer" by Korkiplaani plays as Hugh de Aske and Super Sonic come down the ramp, Hugh with a microphone in hand. Hugh: Yar, I've been talking to me matey Super Sonic here, and I be realizin' that I be unbeaten so far in JOK-ARRR. I decree that it be high time to make my claim for the bounty of the Apron of Justice, yar. Should we be victorious on this eve, I demand that the navigators of the JOK-ARR vessel take me to the waters of a championship battle, yar. "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran would play next as Simon Apollo and Munchie came down the ramp, Julie Le Bon on the very opposite side of Munchie and Spaghetti. MATCH THREE: HUGH DE ASKE and SUPER SONIC vs SIMON APOLLO AND MUNCHIE THE EXTREME HIPPY (w/ Julie Le Bon and Spaghetti) Super Sonic and Simon start this match off, Super Sonic getting pounded by the bigger man, forcing Super Sonic to roll under the ropes. Simon poses for the crowd and Sonic gets to his feet, springboarding into a nice arm drag and following up with a leg drop. Super Sonic keeps on the offensive but Apollo's size allows him to stop Sonic from taking too much momentum, catching a cross body and countering with a rib breaker before Munchie gets in the ring. Munchie throws Sonic around with some suplexes and a wrenching leglock, Sonic managing to get out by holding the ropes, and once Munchie let go Sonic rolled under for Hugh to get behind him and deliver a brutal backdrop suplex! One, two, kickout. Hugh keeps his offensive, using some shortcuts like choking Munchie by putting his neck on the second rope and pressing down with his foot on the back of the head. Hugh goes for the Cut-Throat Driver but Munchie elbows Hugh in the jaw to float over and turning Hugh around and hitting a butterfly suplex, then ran the ropes to set up for a knee drop... but Super Sonic pulled on the ropes to make Munchie lose his balance and tumble to the floor, and Super Sonic would floor him with a seated senton! Simon Apollo enters the ring, Hugh de Aske decks him with a lariat, looking for a Cut-Throat Driver again... but Simon also floats over into a neckbreaker! Going to the ropes as Hugh de Aske staggers to his feet... and Simon nails him with the Flock of Seagulls! Cover, one, two, Super Sonic tries to get back in the ring but Munchie stops him, three! WINNERS: Simon Apollo and Munchie via pinfall (Flock of Seagulls on Hugh de Aske) Simon Apollo and Julie Le Bon celebrate in the ring, while Super Sonic brawls with Munchie... but Ted Brady enters the ring, and he and Simon start swinging at each other as Julie flees. Simon gets the upper hand, but Ted Brady hits him with a low blow! Brady opens his briefcase and puts the Matty Phatty hood on Simon's head before giving him a big DDT. He tries to put the rest of the costume on Simon, but it won't fit, so Brady just chokes him with a sleeve before Munchie, Stretch, and Ota enters the ring to make Brady retreat, but as he does, he starts to count with his fingers. Simon isn't moving as his count goes higher, and he finally reaches ten before heading to the back. "Amish Paradise" would hit for the second time tonight as Jebediah headed down the ramp to the crowd's disapproval. Then the lights went out and the intro for "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath hit, and when the song's signature riff kicks in, the lights went up as Ant-Man emerged from the curtains wearing the Ocala Fine Meats Apron of Justice. He took it off quickly though, charging right into the ring to deal with the now-evil Jebediah! MAIN EVENT FOR THE OCALA FINE MEATS APRON OF JUSTICE: JEBEDIAH vs ANT-MAN © Ant-Man swung at Jebediah but the 400-pounder shrugs it off and clubs him with an overhand forearm, picking Ant-Man up and hip tossing him into the corner before stomping on him until the Masked Referee made him break. Jeb threatened the Masked Ref before picking up the champ and throwing him into the center of the ring, but misses with a leg drop! Ant-Man lays into him with repeated elbow drops and goes for a cover but Jebediah throws him off at two. Jebediah recovers now and decks Ant-Man with a big lariat, running to the ropes for a splash... Ant-Man gets the knees up! Ant-Man now looking for Ant-idote... but Jebediah won't budge, and clubs him HARD in the back. Jebediah throws him into the corner and looks for an avalanche... Ant-Man gets out of the way, hits the ropes... SPEAR TO JEBEDIAH! Cover, one, two, but Jebediah grabs the ropes. Ant-Man stalks Jeb and tries for the Ant-idote again, gets Jeb off his feet this time... but Jeb elbows Ant-Man to make him lose his balance, then hits him with a vertical suplex. Jeb is heading to the ropes for the Sundown Splash... but Ant-Man is BUGGING OUT! He makes it to his feet as Jeb reaches the top... clubs him in the back... Jeb loses his footing. Ant-Man drags Jeb's leg over the ropes... and the other... trying to powerbomb Jeb off! But Jebediah holds on to the rope, Ant-Man looks to club Jeb again. but Jeb mule kicks him in the head. Jeb carefully turns his body so he's facing Ant-Man now. Jeb hesitates for a single moment, and that's enough for Ant-Man to rush to him again and chop him in the stomach... and he doubles over... ANT-MAN PUTTING HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS! Managing to CARRY the big man a couple steps closer to the middle of the ring... ANT-IDOTE ON THE FOUR HUNDRED POUND JEBEDIAH! ONE, TWO, THREE! WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION OF THE OCALA FINE MEATS APRON OF JUSTICE: Ant-Man via pinfall (Ant-idote) ---- Overall a decent show, still only 11 people paid attention to the event. But during the main event Ota bought a shrimp platter for everyone who was there and the valets would bring them out to thank them for coming. The way we figured it, if they wouldn't come for the wrestling, they'd at least stay for shrimp. NEXT: Ant-Man vs Ted Brady! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masterofnone Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I want a replica OCALA FINE MEATS APRON OF JUSTICE. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 JOKER A Bit Of The Old Ultra-Violence We start with "La Bamba" playing as Super Sonic comes out with Jebediah, holding a microphone. Sonic: "Now some-uh ya'll been sayin' that I ain' no awe-then-tic luchy-dor, an' that I ain' really from Me-hi-co. Well, I ain' takin to them remarks kindly, so I'ma show y'all my Me-hi-can passport." Sonic produces what looks like a Trapper Keeper with "Mexyco Pazport" written on it with marker, the announcers immediately pointing out that it's an obvious forgery. Sonic: "Like I said, I'm a one hundred percent real luchy-dor. Got me my green card'n everythang. Now we got that bizy-ness settled, bring out dem dere goofy little dunjen draggins feller and dat goofy little ninja boy." This promps "Strike of the Ninja" by Dragonforce as Fumihiro Ota and Darej the Arcane Trickster hit the ring. MATCH ONE: JEBEDIAH and SUPER SONIC vs FUMIHIRO OTA and DAREJ THE ARCANE TRICKSTER Super Sonic and Ota started in the ring who went back and forth in a high-paced exchange of lucha style flips, headscissors takeovers, and armdrags. Eventually Darej tagged in and answers one of Super Sonic's flying arm drags by springing back up and hitting him with a leaping knee strike to the face before putting him in a half crab. Darej kept working Sonic over with submissions until the Redneck Luchador fled the ring and Jebediah went over the top rope and clubbed Darej in the back from behind, bullying him with punishing strikes before tossing him into the corner for a big avalanche. Cover but Ota breaks it at two. Darej tries to mount a comeback but the EVIL~! Amish wrestler shrugged off his chops and clamped on a bearhug, but Darej breaks free with repeated clubbing forearms. He tags to Ota who leaps over the rope and uses one of his famous powder eggs to blind the big man, hitting a flurry of unanswered kicks to send him off balance before hitting a nice cross body for a two count. Jebediah recovers and looks for a big lariat, Ota ducks under it and looks for a kneelkick, but Jebediah shows amazing power by catching it and transitioning to a sitout powerbomb for a nearfall! Jebediah throws Ota to the ropes, Ota catches them but Jebediah charges into him with his body, sending both of them to the floor. Darej and Super Sonic get back in the ring, Super Sonic takes control with a flurry of offense, then looks for the Sonic Boom (Slingblade) but Darej dropped under it, reaching for something in his robe... Super Sonic gets up to face Darej... MAGIC MISSILE (Flash paper fireball)! Darej follows up with a school boy to get the three count. WINNERS: Fumihiro Ota and Darej The Arcane Trickster via pinfall ("Magic Missile" -> Schoolboy on Super Sonic) After the ring was cleared, "And The Wind Cries Mary" by Jimi Hendrix would hit as Munchie and Spaghetti made their way to the ring, followed by the unmistakable opening riff to "Evil" by Mercyful Fate as Evil Spirit marched to the ring, dragging Yurei with one hand and carrying a chain in the other. He holds the chain up in Yurei's face, who looks terrified by the object. The announcers have little time to speculate the significance of the chain before Evil Spirit slides in the ring and bum rushes the hippy! MATCH TWO: MUNCHIE THE EXTREME HIPPY (w/ Spaghetti) vs EVIL SPIRIT (w/ Yurei) Evil Spirit pressed the advantage of his surprise attack, knocking him around with vicious right hands before tossing him into the corner, hitting him with repeated shoulders to the sternum. Munchie manages to come back with strikes of his own, then applying a snapmare and a legscissors. Spirit pops out of it and hits a running kick to the face for a near fall. Munchie makes another comeback, hitting a nice butterfly suplex and going for a cover for a two count. Yurei gets on the apron to distract the Masked Referee, but doesn't realize Evil Spirit answered with a small package, holding it for longer than three, but by the time the ref turns to count Munchie gets out at one. Evil Spirit points his finger at Yurei, then rolls of the ring. He grabbed the chain and wrapped it around her, securing it against the ringpost to keep her from possibly costing him the match, the announcers noting he's lost two in a row. Munchie heads out to attack the Evil Spirit who headbutts him and throws him into the ringpost, rolling him back in the ring. Spaghetti gets in the fiend's face, telling him "to stop bringing down our buzz, man". Evil Spirit grabs her and drags her over to Yurei, then grabbing both of their shoulders... and they both collapse! Evil Spirit heads back into the ring but Munchie's recovered, shots to the midsection of Evil Spirit, then nailing a gutbuster before hitting the Psychedelic Driver! Spaghetti comes to... but as Munchie goes for the pin, Spaghetti slides into the ring! Masked Ref aborts the count to get her out of the ring, and Munchie goes over to Spaghetti asking her what she's doing... SPAGHETTI WITH RED MIST IN THE EYES OF MUNCHIE! Masked Ref lets it go (partially because he's confused himself), and Munchie stumbles blindly... into the arms of the Evil Spirit, who hits the Dead Calm Drop to score the pinfall. WINNER: Evil Spirit via Pinfall ("Dead Calm Drop") Spaghetti looks to Evil Spirit expectantly, and the mysterious demon grabs her shoulders and she collapses again. Evil Spirit then unchains the still-unconscious Yurei and carries her on one shoulder to the back, and Munchie would eventually get to his feet, and Spaghetti has gone into a fetal position. Munchie pauses to consider his options, but eventually carries her to the back as well. "Eat The Rich" by Aerosmith kicks up now as we get ready for a four-way dance with elimination rules, and Stretch The Chicken Boy comes out wearing a Homestar Runner T-shirt, followed by "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran as Simon Apollo strutted down with Julie Le Bon. Then... "HI KENNY MACE HERE AND I HAVE A FANTASTIC NEW PRODUCT FOR YOU!" Kenny Mace headed down the ramp with a cardboard box under his arm. Kenny: "NOW LET'S FACE IT, SIMON APOLLO, THERE'S A REASON WHY YOU DRESS LIKE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH A MID-LIFE CRISIS. IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE 80s THOUGH! IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FASHION SENSE! SO I BROUGHT OVER MY NEWEST PRODUCT, THE FASHION SENSOR FOUR THOUSAND!" He opens the box... and pulls out a simple mirror, holding it up to Simon. Kenny: "NOW YOU CAN LOOK AT YOURSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY AND SEE HOW INCREDIBLY STUPID YOU LOOK IN THAT SUIT! AND ALL THIS CAN BE YOURS FOR FORTY-SEVEN AND A HALF PAYMENTS OF NINE NINTY FIVE!" Simon Apollo takes off his jacket, tossing it to Julie before egging Kenny into the ring, but "Bring Us Pints Of Beer" by Korkiplaani would hit and Hugh de Aske would head into the ring, attacking the distracted Simon before the match begins! MATCH THREE, FOUR WAY DANCE: STRETCH THE CHICKEN BOY vs SIMON APOLLO (w/ Julie Le Bon) vs KENNY MACE vs HUGH DE ASKE The action got chaotic quick as Mace and de Aske would try to double team Simon, but Stretch would get involved and attack Hugh, throwing him into the corner and hitting a butt-butt as Kenny got shoved through the ropes by Simon Apollo. Hugh de Aske would retreat to the floor on the other side... and Stretch and Simon would DO-SI-DO before hitting stereo planchas on the heels! Stretch rolls De Aske back in the ring, applying a figure four on the pirate as Apollo continues to punish Mace on the floor. Mace retreats to the ring but Simon follows him. Meanwhile De Aske is in the ropes so Stretch let go of the figure four. Simon looks to nail Mace with the Flock of Seagulls, but Mace grabs Stretch and throws him in the way of Simon! Mace scales the top rope, crossbody on Simon... who rolls through into a small package, getting the pin while De Aske covers the knocked out Stretch to eliminate him as well! Simon and Hugh would exchange blows now, with Simon getting the upper hand and hitting Hugh with a pair of lariats and following up with a delayed vertical suplex. He appealed to the crowd to get them ready for another Flock of Seagulls... but Ted Brady headed down the ramp with the Matty Phatty costume in hand! He once again tried to bully Julie Le Bon into putting it on, Simon threatening Brady to try to get him to stop... and Hugh de Aske would get a schoolboy and put his feet on the ropes, one, two, three! WINNER: Hugh de Aske last eliminating Simon Apollo via pinfall (Schoolboy) Brady would head to the back, and after a breif intermission, "No More Mister Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper as Brady made his formal entrance, getting heat due to cheating Simon Apollo out of his match just a few minutes ago. Those jeers turned into cheers however when "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath hit as Ant-Man headed down the ramp, wearing the Ocala Fine Meats Apron of Justice over his football shoulderpads, taking them both off before heading into the ring. MAIN EVENT FOR THE OCALA FINE MEATS APRON OF JUSTICE: TED BRADY vs ANT-MAN © Brady faked going for a test of strength but kicked Ant-Man in the stomach and elbowed him in the face and then goes behind for a chop block before working on the legs of Ant-Man, hitting several knee drops to the leg of the champ before winding up for an elbow drop for a near fall. Brady picks up Ant-Man and tries to chuck him into the corner but Ant-Man reverses and nails a short-arm lariat, limping as he picks Brady up to put him in the corner for a series of chops, before throwing him into the center with a hiptoss, favoring his leg as he looks for a cover but only gets two. Ant-Man keeps up the pressure though, picking Brady back up for a big body slam, but his leg gives way again and he scrambles to the ropes to keep standing while favoring his leg. Brady recovers and kicks Ant-Man's leg from behind, making the champ fall before Brady gets on the second rope for extra elevation to stomp on Ant-Man's leg, before heading to ringside to put Ant-Man in a ringpost figure four! Brady is forced to let go before he's disqualified, but the damage is more than done, Brady rolling back into the ring, cover... Ant-Man's shoulder shoots up just in time. Brady points to the leg again and heads to the ropes... BIG ELBOW DROP on the ankle of the champ. But Ant-Man is BUGGING OUT! Brady tries to punch Ant-Man but the champ shrugs it off, throws Brady into the ropes, STANDING SPEAR! Ant-Man gets up and beats his chest, Brady however recovers just enough to shove the Masked Ref through the ropes to the floor! Ant-Man heads to Brady, hoisting him up for the Ant-idote! Brady elbows him, and eventually that and the bad leg catches up to the champ. Brady lands in perfect position... DDT! And even Ant-Man's not getting back up from that! Brady turns him over for the pin, but the refs not there. Brady doesn't wait, instead rolls out of the ring and goes to get his breifcase, opening it up so he can unfurl that Matty Phatty costume. He slings it over his shoulder and heads onto the apron... But SIMON APOLLO rushes to the ring, running up the steps and hitting a Flock Of Seagulls off the apron to the floor! He then clubs Brady over the back of the head with the briefcase before leaving as the Masked Ref enters the ring again. Ant-Man's still out of it, but so is Ted Brady. Masked Ref decides to count Brady out... Brady manages to get to his knees and grasp the apron, but before he could make it onto the apron the count is finished and the bell rings! WINNER AND STILL HOLDER OF THE OCALA FINE MEATS APRON OF JUSTICE: Ant-Man via countout. Brady makes it back into the ring and tries to pin Ant-Man, but Masked Ref tells him the match is over. Brady then crawls to the corner and asks for a mic... Brady: "APOLLO! You think you got the last laugh, punk? Well... nobody laughs at Ted Brady! I just knocked out the champion! And at the last show... I knocked you out too. NOBODY GETS UP FROM MY DDT! Next show... I put you down for good, Simon. You and me... LAST MAN STANDING!" ------------ Well, the attendance didn't change this time around, which is a plus. And the crowd enjoyed it despite the non-finish, also a plus. NEXT: Last Man Standing, and Hugh de Aske gets a title (or should it be apron?) shot! 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