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Taking the LOL out of LOLTNA


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Hello there boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Taking the LOL out of LOLTNA. I would like to begin my diary with a few quotes if I may, as Danny Vinyard once said, "Someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them."

 

I was thinking about this' date=' and I don't believe that in the 19 years I've been writing this newsletter I have ever boycotted a television program because it sucked so goddamned bad. That changed this week. After all these years, TNA Impact finally broke me. The show on Thursday night was up there with the worst pro-wrestling programs I've ever seen in my life. It might have been the worst. Maybe, top-to-bottom, objectively there has a worse show historically. But no show ever caused me to command a one-month (at the moment) boycott before, so I think the evidence is in that this was the worst pro-wrestling show I've ever seen. I have better things to do. You should too. It's summertime. Enjoy the cool Thursday night air. Read a good book. Chat with your loved ones, enjoy a light meal. But don't watch this show.[/font']

I don’t like TNA. It’s not personal' date=' it’s just that TNA isn’t any good. In fact in my estimation TNA is the worst wrestling promotion of all time. Sure, there have probably been hundreds of low-rent indies filled with backyarders and half-trained guys who couldn’t work at all, but how many of them have ruined the careers and wasted the time of guys even half as good as Homicide or Samoa Joe? How many have consistently put on television shows so illogical and scatterbrained that if someone misses a week it’s impossible to tell who is a face and who is a heel? How many have blown millions of dollars over the course of more than a decade, only to see perhaps their only home grown star of any significance depart and immediately become a bigger drawing card for random untelevised indie feds than he ever was for them? TNA is uniquely awful and it deserves to be regarded as the absolute worst wrestling promotion in history.[/indent']

 

It's time for us to hit the rewind button. Fire up that DeLorean Marty, we have to go back!

 

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Show Diary

 

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TV Rating: 3.57

-
TV Rating: 3.56

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TV Rating: 3.64

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PPV Buy Rate: 1.92

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TV Rating: 4.63

 

-
TV Rating: 4.61

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TV Rating: 4.75

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TV Rating: 4.83

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TV Rating: 4.86

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PPV Buy Rate: 2.32

 

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TV Rating: 4.79

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TV Rating: 4.77

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TV Rating: 4.69

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TV Rating: 4.76

 

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TV Rating: 4.65

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TV Rating: 4.61

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PPV Buy Rate: 2.52
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TNA World Heavyweight Championship

 

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q685/RynWlsn/TNA/TNAbelts/TNAWorldHeavyweight_zps86856332.jpg

 

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'The Phenomenal One' AJ Styles

3rd Reign

 

Date Won: Sunday, Week 3, March 2014 at TNA Victory Road

Previous Champion: Magnus

Successful Defences: 3

 

Previous Champions Since 1st March 2014:

  • Magnus - from Thursday, Week 3, December 2013 to Sunday, Week 3, March 2014.

TNA X-Division Championship

 

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http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q685/RynWlsn/TNA/Special%20TNA%20Pictures/AustinAries_zpsgvldsitf.jpg

 

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries

5th Reign

 

Date Won: Thursday, Week 3, January 2014 on Impact Wrestling: Genesis

Previous Champion: Chris Sabin

Successful Defences: 6

 

Previous Champions Since 1st March 2014:

  • None

 

TNA World Tag Team Championship

 

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Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley)

2nd Reign

 

Date Won: Sunday, Week 2, June 2014 at TNA Slammiversary XII

Previous Champions: Bad Influence (Daniels & Kazarian)

Successful Defences: 0

 

Previous Champions Since 1st March 2014:

  • The Wolves - Sunday, Week 3, February 2014 to Sunday, Week 4, April 2014

  • Bad Influence, - Sunday, Week 4, April 2014 to Sunday, Week 2, June 2014

TNA Knockouts Championship

 

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Tara

6th Reign

 

Date Won: Sunday, Week 2, June 2014 at TNA Slammiversary XII

Previous Champion: Madison Rayne

Successful Defences: 0

 

Previous Champions Since 1st March 2014:

  • Madison Rayne - Thursday, Week 3, January 2014 to Sunday, Week 2, June 2014

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http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q685/RynWlsn/TNA/Uppercarders_zps1d816dc6.png

 

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  • 'The Monster' Abyss

  • Mr. Anderson

  • 'The IT Factor' Bobby Roode

  • 'The Olympic Gold Medalist' Kurt Angle

  • 'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries

  • Bully Ray

  • 'The Charismatic Enigma' Jeff Hardy

  • 'The Fallen Angel' Christopher Daniels

  • 'The Cowboy' James Storm

  • Chris Sabin

  • Magnus

  • 'The Samoan Submission Machine' Samoa Joe

  • 'EY' Eric Young

 

 

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  • 'Mr. Intensity' Gunner

  • 'The Freak' Rob Terry

  • 'Supermex' Hernandez

  • Kazarian

  • Ethan Carter III

  • Kenny King

  • 'DJ' Zema Ion

  • Davey Richards

  • Eddie Edwards

 

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  • Jessie

  • Robbie E

  • Knux

  • Rockstar Spud

  • Manik

  • Tigre Uno

  • Garrett Bischoff

 

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  • Madison Rayne

  • Gail Kim

  • Velvet Sky

  • Brooke Tessmacher

  • Taryn Terrell

  • Lei'D Tapa

  • ODB

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Update: I've added the roster. It took wayyyyy longer to make that it looks.

 

You have no idea how excited I am for this Moot :D

 

Welcome my friend! I've wanted to do this project ever since we attempted the Multiplayer one, having you along for the ride will be fun.

 

LOL TNA! :D Good start buddy, and you've got me hooked... I think TNA have a good roster overall, so shouldn't be too hard to 'fix' surely...?

 

Haha thank you! I always like poking fun at them :rolleyes: The top end of the roster is good but they're all old so I'm gonna have to replace all my Franchise Players ASAP. I give it two or three years until all of them are well into Time Decline. The rest of the roster sucks. I have three tag teams, three or four popular X-Division guys and a limited Knockouts division that desperately needs new blood. But that's part of the fun, rebuilding this roster in my vision is something that I'm gonna enjoy. :D

 

I've always wanted to play a TNA game but never found a good Mod I liked for modern day wrestling. Good luck...

 

I like Fleisch's. Although I've tweaked a few bits, the rest of it is pretty much spot on. Playing a save as TNA in October would be fun.

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http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q685/RynWlsn/TNA/Roster/Magnus_zps69be19b7.jpghttp://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q685/RynWlsn/TNA/Roster/SamoaJoe_zps543aecb8.jpg

Samoa Joe: A Machine On A Mission

 

Since winning the TNA World Heavyweight Championship just before the turn of the new year, Magnus has totted up five successful defences so far and he's only just getting started. With the powers that be behind him, it's beginning to look bleak for TNA Wrestling as nobody can seem to wrestle that title away from him. Enter Samoa Joe. The Samoan Submission Machine has turned back the clock and rediscovered the take-no-names attitude that got him over in 2005. The man once described by Don West as a "Samoan Freight Train" is stomping a deadly warpath and leaving bodies trailing in his wake as he gets ever closer to Magnus and the all-important Gold that he possesses.

 

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The Right To Rule

 

If there's one valuable lesson that history has taught us, it's that you don't cross the boss. Dixie Carter is no exception to that rule, using her power to screw TNA's heroes like AJ Styles and Sting as she instills what she believes to be the "rightful" Champion at the top of the pyramid. But now with MVP, a recently revealed secret investor, breathing over her shoulder, this power struggle is just getting started.

 

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The Man Behind The Mask

 

Just last month, we learned that Joseph Park and Abyss are the same person. Shock horror, right? Ever since, tensions have reached boiling point between him and Eric Young. With Bad Influence constantly stirring the pot, god knows where this one goes next...

 

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The Jealous Cowboy

 

After success as tag partners, winning the Championships in fact, Gunner and James Storm are now chomping at the bit to kick ten shades of crap out of each other. This one all started when Gunner pulled the Feast Or Fired briefcase away from Storm and earned himself a shot at Magnus' World Championship. Storm entertained the idea of turning against his former partner, only to apologize... before then costing him his match against Magnus turning against the fans for the first time in 8 years!

 

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The Interruption

 

EC3 has really taken the opportunity to get himself noticed in TNA, doing everything within his power to get under people's skin and make them feel uncomfortable. Last week, he crossed the line when he interrupted Kurt Angle's Hall Of Fame induction ceremony and told the Olympic Gold Medalist that it was time to retire. What lengths will EC3 go to next?
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IMPACT Wrestling Preview

Thursday, Week 1, March 2014

 

We head into the Macon Coliseum for the first Impact of March where we're hearing that MVP has a proposition of some sort for Dixie Carter, what could that be? We're also hearing that tonight, Samoa Joe plans to meet face-to-face with his Victory Road opponent, the TNA Champion, Magnus.

 

Meanwhile, Dixie and MVP both agreed to set a gut check as The Wolves will defend their newly-won TNA Tag Team Titles against ex-Champions The BroMans and Austin Aries will be defending his TNA X-Division Championship against former champion 'DJ' Zema Ion. The fist-pumping trio could walk away with all the gold this Thursday. We also have the return of Knux as he takes on debuting luchadore Tigre Uno, Brooke Tessmacher and ODB will look to better the other and Christopher Daniels will look to see off the unpredictable Manik.

 

All this and more on #IMPACTonSPIKE!

 

IMPACT Wrestling Predictions

TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

The BroMans are not ready (and good enough) for serious TNA gold.

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

Knux kind of sucks, IIRC.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

Not a fan of ODB. Not a fan.

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

Daniels is too good to lose to one of many masked jobbers even when he is portraying a masked jobber.

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

I think Aries is 'too big' for the X-Divided title... but he won't lose to Ion.

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

Team Dixie is far better -- Angle really doesn't belong in super serial TNA, plus the fans mark out for the Spud Machine.

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TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

Don't care for the Bromans much. The Wolves gotta get ready for a feud with Bad Influence

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

Tigre Uno could be an interesting player in the X Division. Knux just... isn't interesting.

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

ODB's gimmick's been stale for a while. Plus, Brooke's butt.

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

Not much explanation needed

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

All of the Bromans are doing the job tonight

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

As much as I hate Gunner, the less Dixie Carter on TV the better.

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TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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IMPACT Wrestling

 

TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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IMPACT Wrestling Predictions

 

TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

I personally think Aries is too good for the x-division... If that even makes sense?! But Zema Ion is too good to job... So I'm giving it to Ion so that Aries can move to the Main Event!

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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IMPACT Wrestling Predictions

 

TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

I am a huge Xtreme Tiger fan

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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IMPACT Wrestling Predictions

 

TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Its kind of obvious isn't it? Moot, if you have the BroMans win and dominate the tag division I will be very disappointed :p

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

When I did my playthrough I considered Brooke to be a key player in a new knockouts division. I then totally botched it. You however could do well

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

Daniels is back already? Awesome!

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

I agree with comments saying that Aries is above the X division (well, not above maybe. He deserves to be in the world title scene) but Zema Ion is not the guy to take that torch from him.

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

 

I hate Dixie but I love her team. Dat Spud.

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TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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This looks great, Mootinie, and I'll be following this. I really can't wait to see what are you going to do with TNA, and to see you going on different ways. I'm a bit biased against some people though, so don't be surprised if I rant at them a lot if you keep them in. Anyways, I wish you good luck, and may this go a long way.

 

TNA World Tag Team Championships

The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

Robbie E. 'Nuff said. He sucks. Badly. Like, a lot.

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

Xtreme Tiger can be useful for you, but I guess that you're going to push Knux.

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

Can go either way.

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

By saying that you're not going to commit the same mistakes that the real-life TNA committed, you have to mean that you're not going to fire Bad Influence, among the many other things.

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

Keep the gold on him for a bit.

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

Take Dixie out of TV. Please.

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The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) © vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie)

 

Knux vs. Tigre Uno

 

Brooke Tessmacher vs. ODB

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Manik

 

TNA X-Division Championship

'The Greatest Man That Ever Lived' Austin Aries © vs. 'DJ' Zema Ion

 

Note: The following match will be set up earlier in the night.

Elimination Six-Man Tag Match - The Winners Team Takes Control Of Wrestling Operations

Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Ethan Carter III & Rockstar Spud) vs. Team MVP (Kurt Angle, Eric Young & Gunner)

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