Jump to content

[RockVerse] Chi-Town Urban Combat


Recommended Posts

Yeah there are some genuinely weird choices to be had - Silas would love the Rockverse. I can only imagine what he'd do with people like the Sins (all of whom have huge potential) or EL CHUPACABRA or Mr Mosca who are so weird in that classic Mexican Rudo way. As for Abominatrix - I get the feeling he'd use her to castrate people he didn't like (which is most everyone).
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 135
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Abominatrix would probably be to Silas what Martyr in OWC is: a decent, yet legitimately creepy, deranged worker. I can totally see him having the weirdest of relationships with Lust though :D

 

I always tend to assume readers are unfamiliar with any roster, so I try to drop as much info as I can for them. Especially with uncommon mods, like this. So far it's only been released with the US complete, but if you check out the hype thread, many more promotions elsewhere have been added, I'm assuming willr0ck is saving it for a TEW2020 release.

 

I do have some sad news about CTUC, but that'll be made public soon along with the card for the next show.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rt3XVuY.jpgxBew3Ip.jpg

 

Jerry: In other news, this'll be sad for fans of CTUC and its out-of-left-field cult hero, EL CHUPACABRA!

 

Calvin: True, so according to a CTUC official statement, the man-beast who received that nasty injury during their latest show may be out of comission for much longer than expected, as he has been facing complications following his surgical operation to basically put his bone back inside his arm.

 

Jerry: Big blow there and he's not the only one out either, as last time they also lost Dr. Funkenstein and now officially confirmed, Envy. Which seems to have lit a fire under owner, booker and champion Mikey Malice, as he went on to cut more people from the roster.

 

Calvin: Well, it was a pretty big roster anyway for such a promotion, I'm pretty sure they weren't turning in a profit for way too long now.

 

Jerry: So let's talk about the cuts, Vanity, Kurtis Payne, Frankie Petruzzi and Summer Whitley.

 

79MT8Gp.jpgI4ESkNF.jpg4iw7TnA.jpgQ7nnOUf.jpg

 

Calvin: Vanity, he was done creatively. I understand Malice didn't want to lose the title to him, but after that he had nowhere to go. He did his little program with the Sins, he lost pretty much everything, so this was his last chance and he blew it. As a character, I can't really see him bouncing back from that last match, especially since he lost clean.

 

Jerry: Think creative dead-ends were the case for Payne and Petruzzi too, they hadn't done anything significant in a while. And Whitley went down with Petruzzi.

 

Calvin: That's one way to see it, but remember those are all people who came in before the Women's Divsion. Whitley especially, she was there to show some ladyflesh in the whole sausagefest, don't think she was as necessary anymore, even though she's a great talker. Maybe too expensive for what she had to bring to the table nowdays.

 

Jerry: Valid point, Calvin. Petruzzi certainly got lost in the shuffle, think Payne was going to be in a program around the hardcore title with Orcus, but then he was left behind when EL CHUPACABRA!

 

Calvin: Which is even weirder, because now the beast is out for quite some time, so I'd expect Payne to step in. Maybe they have something in mind. A surprise signing, or someone else to take on the mask?

 

Jerry Well the signing they made was a broadcast one, moving from CTV USA Mid West to the online haven of the Independent Wrestling Channel. It's subscription-based so I can't predict if it'll help turn a profit it, but they got more freedom to do crazy things, a better timeslot and better coverage, so it's certainly a step forward. Speaking of which, they've also announce the card for their first show on the IWC

 

ZpsnHVU.jpg

Main Event

Capital Challenge Tag Team match

Pride & Envy vs The Devil's Playthings

 

Semi Main Event

CTUC Deadly Duo titles Ladder match

Gluttony & Sloth © vs The Bonechillers

 

Strip the Flesh match

Annabelle the Canni-belle vs Avarice

 

Opening Tag Team match

Killboy Powerhead vs Lust & Wrath

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Main Event

Capital Challenge Tag Team match

Pride & Envy vs The Devil's Playthings

 

Semi Main Event

CTUC Deadly Duo titles Ladder match

Gluttony & Sloth © vs The Bonechillers

 

Strip the Flesh match

Annabelle the Canni-belle vs Avarice

 

Opening Tag Team match

Killboy Powerhead vs Lust & Wrath

 

Love all the names!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Main Event

Capital Challenge Tag Team match

Pride & Envy vs The Devil's Playthings

 

Semi Main Event

CTUC Deadly Duo titles Ladder match

Gluttony & Sloth © vs The Bonechillers

 

Strip the Flesh match

Annabelle the Canni-belle vs Avarice

 

Opening Tag Team match

Killboy Powerhead vs Lust & Wrath

 

My Take: So lets go all SIN all the way. They are decent workers and their girls are over (not surprisingly) - if you want to make cash then getting 3 star matches is the way to go and that means pushing the SIN girls as they are what is getting those ratings up (sex appeal sells at this level). Killboy Powerhead are incompetent and Lust and Wrath aren't so that should go to the SINS. The Strip the Flesh is a Sex appeal match and Avarice should win that with maybe a follow up match with an edgier style to follow up and create a feud between the two making sense. Gluttony & Sloth are good workers and the Bonechillers aren't really (but show signs they could be) having the Sins cheat to win would set up a match with Lust & Wrath next time to get another Tag shot would give you a meaningful storyline feud for the Tag titles. Which means at the end we have the Playthings vs Pride & Envy - and I say the SINS win by DQ when the 3rd Plaything interferes - it could easily be a win by the Playthings with interference too but given the other matches I just think going with SIN domination might work best setting up a scenario where each of the Playthings have to go through Envy first to get to Pride might work long-term for the Womens booking wise.

 

I am trying not to be shattered by the loss of EL CHUPACABRA - but the tease of EL CHUPACABRA II has me happy. There are several young cheap free agents who could fill the role and that would open up the long term possibility of the might LOS EL CHUPACABRAS tag team !!!! Two EL CHUPACABRAS double the fun!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rt3XVuY.jpgxBew3Ip.jpg

 

Jerry: Boy oh boy, talk about a gamechanger... CTUC did it again, Calvin, I know we love making fun of their wrestlecrap but I was so pumped after Capital Challenge!

 

Calvin: I guess it's the equivalent of when they added women to their roster, but let's take this and some interesting booking choices one by one.

 

SMX2zSc.jpgWSJcxkr.jpgnLbuFIm.jpg

 

Jerry: Well they made it pretty obvious from the start of the show and I didn't know if I should react excited or roll my eyes and facepalm. Anyway, the opening was a pretty standard thing, Tyrell Starr once again asking for a title shot, Mikey Malice saying he beat him as well as every man on the roster...

 

Calvin: A rare moment of self-awareness from owner, booker and permachampion Mikey Malice, I should add...

 

Jerry: Enter Lust and a quote straight outta Lord of the Rings as she goes "I'm no man..."

 

Calvin: Which I'm guessing means Lust just challenged Malice for the CTUC Nation of Violence title?

 

DFTwjAc.jpgKwzOwDa.jpgYVsd6vQ.jpgnLbuFIm.jpgoKHYAmC.jpgwH1wLxvX.jpg

 

Jerry: It must be so, because the opening match was Lust and Wrath versus Killboy Powerhead!

 

Calvin: Which was every bit as messy, chaotic and overbooked as it sounds.

 

Jerry: Ye olde CTUC two star matche, but I stil have a question after this match. Are they just trying to pass Lust as male or "also male" or gender fluid whatever, oooor are they going all out to incorporate intergender matches?

 

Calvin: Well New Horror already did the hardcore intergender matches first, but it would make sense given their roster. I mean, how much longer can they hold down so many women with eye candy matches? They're better than most male wrestlers in that locker room. Case in point, the exact follow-up match, Annabelle versus Avarice

 

82hAmiU.jpgYVsd6vQ.jpgMFOfy9R.jpg

 

Jerry: Yeah that was all the way up to three stars, even if Strip the Flesh is basically a CTUC rebranding of ye olde bra and panties match. Slowly turning into a trademark stipulation for Annabelle, maybe Abominatrix too.

 

Calvin: I sure hope so. I'd hate to see the unique "signature match" they'd be giving Abominatrix.

 

Jerry: Anyway, this was little more than a catfight. Featuring two very good looking ladies, but a catfight nonetheless. I was really hoping they'd bother with a bit of psychology, like having Annabelle continue "stripping" her opponent after the match was over or something.

 

Calvin: A missed opportunity indeed. Maybe you should apply to be CTUC's booker, Jerry.

 

hxAldRL.jpgCX6455F.jpgXOsyrts.jpg

 

Jerry: And from barenaked ladies to a trio gimped to the gills as the Devil's Playthings cut a pretty decent promo to hype up the main event. Bit of Freebird Rules in this story, with the group teasing the actual two who would compete while the third member would be on their corner. And off we went to the night's spectacle...

 

KnuVAXt.jpgKnuVAXt.jpg

YLLhuLq.jpglPHNLM9.jpgYVsd6vQ.jpgU6H0fRA.jpgRe0sXYU.jpgwH1wLxvX.jpg

 

Calvin: I am legitimately surprised no one got injured in that Ladder match. Especially after last month's botchamania, I'm surprised CTUC was willing to roll the dice with such a match and risk losing more workers.

 

Jerry: So fans, remember last month when the Bonechillers stole the tag titles? Well, we never got an explanation why this had to be a Ladder match, but the belts were hooked in a cheap looking bone hook...

 

Calvin: By which he means a regular hook inside a cheap white plastic casing...

 

Jerry: ..so I'm assuming it was a case of "we won't give them back, but race you for 'em" or something. No context given and before you say so Calvin, yes I do also wonder why I'm trying to make sense of CTUC.

 

Calvin: That's an interesting question, because this two star of a spotfest looked like it held zero surprises at all, until it pulled the rug underneath our feet.

 

Jerry: That's one way of putting it, but I had the same feeling watching this. Gluttony was being your typical powerhouse pacific islander, Sloth was... well, Sloth, Tiffany Poe did her thing at ringside, Skullmageddon scolded Skullsy...

 

Calvin: By the way, Skullsy seemed to be really over with the crowd. The whole idea behind him and Skullmageddon apparently has caught on with the fans.

 

Jerry: Which might explain why they had Skullsy grind his skate across the top rope, hop off Gluttony's back and onto the top of the ladder to grab the belts. That's right folks, your winners and new CTUC Deadly Duo champions, the Bonechillers!

 

Calvin: That makes Skullsy actually successful, so I'm curious to see how that impacts him and Skullmageddon going forward. Their whole gimmick is Skullsy being incompetent.

 

Jerry: Speaking of gimmicks...

 

Calvin: Oh, we're down to that segment...

 

8zbotOu.jpg1QszUW4.jpgKbBzMQd.jpg

 

Jerry: Yes! So once more, this one looked like a perfectly expected Chi Church Cult promo...

 

Calvin: Think I'm seeing a pattern here with all the swerves in this show...

 

Jerry: With the Cult singing their praises and bragging about how they "exorcised" the evil...

 

Both: EL CHUPACABRA!

 

Calvin: But just when you thought CTUC couldn't get any worse...

 

WDzAnJr.jpg

 

Jerry: MADRE DE DIOS! EL POLLO DIABLO!

 

Calvin: Like... what the hell IS that thing?!?!

 

Jerry: I know he came out of nowhere, beat the Cult including Scarlett Church and wore a mask resembling some kind or poultry. Or should I say...

 

Calvin: Don't you dare...

 

Jerry: LIKE A RABID ROOSTER?

 

Calvin: So this is what brain damage feels like...

 

Jerry: For the record, we have no idea who this chicken fellow is, Rabid Rooster is solely a pun of my creation but if anyone there at CTUC is listening, you're free to use it

 

Calvin: Can we please move on to the main event?

 

I4W4guS.jpgncb55c7.jpgYVsd6vQ.jpgXOsyrts.jpgCX6455F.jpgwhxAldRL.jpg

 

Jerry: Well, to your point earlier, Calvin, they did finally give the women a proper wrestling match and it headlined the show too. Was it any better than the usual two star CTUC match? No.

 

Calvin: Plus Envy looked like she injured herself again.

 

Jerry: Well I guess the takeaway here is that Lilith distracted Pride, who was already kinda working a handicap match after Envy damaged herself...

 

Calvin: Suits her character, whether by accident or design

 

Jerry: And the Playthings got the pin. Which is probably leading to a feud for the Baddest Bitch title. Or, even better, a feud between the Sins and the Playthings!

 

Calvin: You know what I always say, Jerry;fantasy booking only leads to disappointment eventually.

 

Jerry: Yet in a weird, twisted way, I am so interested to see where CTUC goes next with all this mess...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just caught up itt and I'm honestly enjoying your take on these characters better then mine. I am really loving this dynasty

Appreciate it and thank you again for the mod. I do remember you "challenging" me to do a RockVerse diary (or was it an AWO one specifically?) so it's good to hear I'm doing it justice.

 

This is just so much fun to read. It has that sense of self mocking that wrestling needs. You can never take wrestling too seriously.

Agreed. I was inspired by the Oddworld and WS_X to start this, having so much fun with it now. Glad to see silly wrestling making a comeback on the diaries, with Voeltzwagon's EXTREME FORCE WRESTLING being the latest addition. Go look that up and show it some love :)

 

It's a wonderful read - love the new addition to the roster.

Thanks. Bringing in the chicken dude to replace EL CHUPACABRA! felt like a great opportunity and I had to hold myself from revealing the signing/character before the show itself. Also, the broadcasting move to IWC was a game changer, my media income skyrocketed from 450 to like 5k per show, so if I can get good show grades to stick with them, I should be finally turning in a profit, which can only mean this diary will continue and more people can come in!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

CTUC presents

A Halloween special show

OeGU3zA.jpg

Sunday, Week 2 of October 2016

 

Main Event

CTUC Baddest Bitch title match

Pride © vs Arabella

 

Grudge match

Chris Moxley vs "that chicken impersonator"

 

Strip the Flesh match

Annabelle the Canni-belle vs Lust

 

Opening Tag Team match

Club Exotico vs Killboy Powerhead

 

And as always, a ton of crazy, offensive, silly angles that would never be greenlit for a major televised show!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So Rory is either a Kiwi or an Ozzie then. I actually saw the Headless Chickens a few times back in the day - Fiona had the best voice and yeah Donde Esta La Pollo - Where is the C O C K" was a hilarious mistranslation that occurred in real life when one of the band was trying to ask for where is the males toilet whilst backpacking through Mexico and would totally work as a theme song for that character.

 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/n5ygXvtseeo" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-zPCBN5Qbiw" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

Main Event

CTUC Baddest Bitch title match

Pride © vs Arabella

 

Grudge match

Chris Moxley vs "that chicken impersonator"

 

Strip the Flesh match

Annabelle the Canni-belle vs Lust

 

Opening Tag Team match

Club Exotico vs Killboy Powerhead

 

My Take: Pride is going to take on the Playthings one by one which fills up 3 title defences. The chicken gets a win just for laughs. Annabelle looks likely to be the person who is the biggest threat to Pride so I say whilst Pride goes through the Playthings she takes out the Sin girls setting up a biggish match down the track. Opening match - I hate Killboy Powerhead so very much - they have no redeeming characteristics and need to just be jobbed out and let go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="Rt3XVuY.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/Rt3XVuY.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="xBew3Ip.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/xBew3Ip.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Hey Calvin, it's time to break down CTUC's Halloween show!</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Plenty of tricks, not sure we got as many treats to go with them.</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="SMX2zSc.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/SMX2zSc.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="nLbuFIm.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/nLbuFIm.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="WSJcxkr.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/WSJcxkr.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Well we were warned straight from the opener, at first a fairly standard segment of Mikey Malice trying to avoid facing Lust by reciting technicalities like the good chickensh*t heel he's supposed to be, then Tyrell Starr comes in.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> I'm fairly certain Starr was shooting, because he showed up when the Lust-Wrath teaming was mentioned and he basically proposed an alternative tag team match saying Malice has "no friends in that locker room". Ouch. Too close to the truth, if you ask me. And out comes Starr's new friend and teammate...</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Hold up, waiiiiiiit, hope you ready for the next episode, heyyyeyyy....</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="7W6jor4.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/7W6jor4.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> That was actually the part they blasted to announce the arrival of The Grim Reefer!</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Shots fired, Calvin. Reefer is a former LeftCoast Ultraviolence employee. So far CTUC hadn't employed ex LCUV or New Horror Extreme talent before.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Well I hope they do that more in the future, because Reefer was one of the few LCUV wrestlers that could actually wrestle. Judging from the opening match, they desperately need that kind of people.</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="DFTwjAc.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/DFTwjAc.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="KwzOwDa.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/KwzOwDa.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="YVsd6vQ.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/YVsd6vQ.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="yozrTlM.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/yozrTlM.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="rO3p5zL.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/rO3p5zL.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><strong>w</strong><img alt="3PTDY3S.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/3PTDY3S.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> It's Killboy Powerhead against Club Exotico, with Carlotta at ringside.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Satanico is the technician and Exotico Muerta the high flyer of the group, so they were probably counting on them to carry the match. Though, come to think of it, Carlotta and Muerta could be an interesting mirror to the power/aerial combo of Killboy Powerhead. Assuming those two could ever learn to work a watchable match first. Speaking of which, this was a bit of an overbooked mess, but I did notice Exotico Muerta is getting really, really good in that ring. He kinda stood out to me.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> I was actually surprised they didn't do the usual spot where Powerhead uses Killboy as a human missile, the match had all the big messy spots except this signature double team move. Even more surprising since Killboy Powerhead did actually end up winning, even if they had to cheat to get there.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> I for one was surprised and almost angry they won, imagine what a clean victory would have felt like for the audience. Another two star CTUC standard bout, please let's move on to the next part.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> And I thought you hated eye candy matches...</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="82hAmiU.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/82hAmiU.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="YVsd6vQ.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/YVsd6vQ.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="nLbuFIm.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/nLbuFIm.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Another Strip the Flesh bout and I'll have to rank this just under three stars, maybe two and three quarters, because Anabelle and Lust just don't work as opponents.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> I mean, I could do without that implied lesbian... uhm, oral sex spot? Dunno, having a cannibal character and an overly sexualized gender fluid character in such a match... it did offer some really terrible creative opportunities and they weren't shy about going there. Including the finish, because of course people want to see Lust in his/her/their underwear, right?</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> And once again, just when you thought that was it...</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Right, right...</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="wVJ5ldN.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/wVJ5ldN.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="FPnma5S.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/FPnma5S.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="h6EOgmk.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/h6EOgmk.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="BjxYseW.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/BjxYseW.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Looks like we have a full blown N A Z I faction now, Abominatrix was paired with not one, not two but a trio of goons dressed up like WW2 soldiers and they all showed up to beat down both Anabelle and Lust!</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="oKHYAmC.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/oKHYAmC.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Which in turn brought out Wrath for the save.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> This was actually kinda funny, because Wrath is big and strong and scary, but he's also pretty slow, so die truppen had enough time to panic before retreating. It built up anticipation for a beatdown, then shot down the pay-off.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> And all that because in the face of big bad Wrath...</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Why are you putting on sunglasses?</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> ...ze Germans <em>chickened out</em>!</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> You've been waiting to say this, huh?</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Of course I was, Jerry, it's time to ask ourselves... <em>donde esta la pollo?</em></p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="8zbotOu.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/8zbotOu.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="YVsd6vQ.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/YVsd6vQ.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="WDzAnJr.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/WDzAnJr.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> What Jerry's building up to is the next match, Chris Moxley versus that chicken mask wearing person that attacked the Chi Church Cult last month.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Oh you're not sticking with Rabid Rooster now? That was a pretty good pun you came up with last time.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> No, actually, since you quoted his intro theme I'm inclied to now call him... <strong><span style="font-size:14px;">LA POLLO!</span></strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

Calvin:</strong> I've created a monster...</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> You had it coming, Calvin. Anyway, let's talk about this match because I'd say it was a notch up from the usual two star CTUC matches.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Well, for starters, it lasted for what, six minutes tops? I'm amazed, CTUC matches usually go on for at least ten minutes. For that alone, I'd give it a rating boost.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> It was the right duration for what it was and what it was supposed to be, a raging dumpster fire of a match, a train wreck you can't help by look at.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Or hear commentary on. What did Weller call that finisher, Make An Omelet?</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> He did, I guess it's part of the gimmick. So apparently they're giving him the push originally meant for <strong><span style="font-size:14px;">EL CHUPACABRA!</span></strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong>

Calvin:</strong> Yeah he's probably challenging Orcus for the title next, judging from the post-match angle as well. Or maybe a tag match.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> We should explain this one for our audience, so Orcus came out after the match to attack <em>La Pollo</em> but it backfired because guess who came out for the save...</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="Q1qRBil.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/Q1qRBil.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><p>

<strong><span style="font-size:14px;">Señor Mosca!</span></strong></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> I can almost hear our prediction contest winner alpha2117 rejoicing.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> So to get back at what we were discussing, I could see these two teaming up against the Chi Church Cult, but it feels a bit too similar to the opening segment of Tyrel Starr and Grim Reefer teaming up against the big title holder Mikey Malice and some other guy to set up a title match. Maybe <em>La Pollo</em> could do a program with Orcus while Mosca feuds with Moxley?</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> If there's one thing I've learned with these CTUC show recaps, it's never try to predict where they're going with something. But speaking of title matches...</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="wymsOIy.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/wymsOIy.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><p>

<img alt="I4W4guS.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/I4W4guS.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="YVsd6vQ.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/YVsd6vQ.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="XOsyrts.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/XOsyrts.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> It's Pride versus Arabella for the CTUC Baddest Bitch title, main event of the show and apparently the match went to the one who scored the pin over the champion, not the stable's leader.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> As soon as I saw Arabella without the rest of the Playthings around, I immediately got suspicious. Thought they'd interfere during the match, but for whatever reason, they didn't!</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Very unlike the Devil's Playthings, but a pretty straightforward wrestling match nonetheless, two and a half stars out of five and on cue with what you were saying last month Calvin, about CTUC having to use their women in more than just juggle wiggle matches.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Assuming they don't kill themselves first. Envy seems to injure herself with every match and I did notice Arabella limping and favoring one foot after a certain point. It was a brawl-heavy match, so it's not like she was selling some submission damaging her foot.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Pride did hit the Divastator in the end though, retaining and making her very first title defense moments before the 15 minute mark, which did finally bring out the rest of the Playthings...</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Then Avarice and Envy to even the odds...</p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="I4W4guS.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/I4W4guS.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="XOsyrts.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/XOsyrts.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="CX6455F.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/CX6455F.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="hxAldRL.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/hxAldRL.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="MFOfy9R.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/MFOfy9R.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="ncb55c7.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/ncb55c7.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Catfight! Catfight! CAAAAAATFIIIIIIIGHT!</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> There's plenty to work with there, a Sins vs Playthings feud and maybe a three way program if Abominatrix and her friends get involved as well. Pretty solid way to wrap up the show if you ask me, sex and the promise of things to come next time. Textbook cliffhanger.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> Overall I'd put the show at two and a half stars, some good stuff, plenty of new faces, storytelling potential and I did notice a serious boost in production values too. Looks like they're putting that IWC money to use.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Calvin:</strong> Looks like they're starting to turn in a profit, or at least breaking even. Glad I didn't bet they'd be folding in less than a year. Two more shows left for 2016 and apparently they will be hitting that first milestone.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jerry:</strong> And we'll be here for it!</p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So yeah I popped hard for Mr Mosca - the renders from willr0ck look fantastic and seeing him Reefer and the horribly tasteless Germans is fun.

 

Interesting fact for those who don't know Wrath is Jewish and his family fled Europe in the 40's - his other persona on the indies is The Golem. So a feud between him and the Germans has a whole other level of subtext going on.

 

I am so happy that CTUC seems to be turning a profit because this is just so much fun.

 

DONDE ESTA LA POLLO!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

CTUC Thankskilling card

 

Main Event

Suprise Participant Tag Team match

Grim Reefer & Tyrell Starr vs Mikey Malice and a mystery partner

 

Semi Main Event

Chicken Coop Brawl for the CTUC Bucket of Blood title

Orcus © vs (Donde esta) La Pollo!

 

Tag Team match

Killboy Powerhead vs Dr. Funkenstein & Simba the Tribal Warrior

 

3 vs 3 Stable Warfare

The Devils Playthings vs The Seven Deadly Sins

 

Opening Fanservice 4 vs 4 match

Abominatrix & Die Übersoldaten vs The Seven Deadly Sins

Link to comment
Share on other sites

CTUC Thankskilling card

 

Main Event

Suprise Participant Tag Team match

Grim Reefer & Tyrell Starr vs Mikey Malice and a mystery partner

 

Semi Main Event

Chicken Coop Brawl for the CTUC Bucket of Blood title

Orcus © vs (Donde esta) La Pollo!

 

Tag Team match

Killboy Powerhead vs Dr. Funkenstein & Simba the Tribal Warrior

 

3 vs 3 Stable Warfare

The Devils Playthings vs The Seven Deadly Sins

 

Opening Fanservice 4 vs 4 match

Abominatrix & Die Übersoldaten vs The Seven Deadly Sins

Link to comment
Share on other sites

CTUC Thankskilling card

 

Main Event

Surprise Participant Tag Team match

Grim Reefer & Tyrell Starr vs Mikey Malice and a mystery partner

 

Semi Main Event

Chicken Coop Brawl for the CTUC Bucket of Blood title

Orcus © vs (Donde esta) La Pollo!

 

Tag Team match

Killboy Powerhead vs Dr. Funkenstein & Simba the Tribal Warrior

 

3 vs 3 Stable Warfare

The Devils Playthings vs The Seven Deadly Sins

Opening Fanservice 4 vs 4 match

Abominatrix & Die Übersoldaten vs The Seven Deadly Sins

 

 

My Take:

 

So Malice will never lose the belt but in a tag match his mystery partner can take the pin and it will help build up opponents for him to beat. The Chicken wins for laughs. Killboy Powerhead must be stopped before they kill somebody. The Sins win by DQ in the womens match. As for the 4 v 4 … I actually kind of expect the horrible offensive gimmick guys to win and it would make some sense for them to win but The Sins in this match are coming off losses and booking wise them getting a win here makes more sense to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For the record, I decided to make December's show a season finale and have a Wrestlelamia of sorts because why the hell not. Starting 2017 I'll probably begin booking year-long feuds a la NJPW instead of the month-to-month booking. Brace yourselves for some set-up stuff in these last couple of 2016 shows.

 

DONDE ESTA LA WRESTLING!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reefer and Starr

Pollo

Anyone other than Killboy Powerhead, they have XPAC HEAT! Go away already

Playthings

The Fourth Reich

 

It's funny that I have grown to hate two artificial people but I keep seeing how incompetent they are in write ups and I don't want them injuring characters I like. THEY MUST BE STOPPED !!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rt3XVuY.jpgxBew3Ip.jpg

 

Jerry: In other news, I am grateful for the latest CTUC show, Thankskilling.

 

Calvin: Puns aside, it was largely a set-up show. They’ve announced that Day Zero, their December show will be sort of a “season finale” to wrap up current storylines and kick off new ones, so it seems they tried to build up to next month’s event.

 

Jerry: It also seems their broadcast deal with the Internet Wrestling Channel is paying off. We did notice the seriously upgraded production values these last few months and if they’re announcing a focal show at the end of the year, that can only mean some more long-term booking plans, right?

 

Calvin: It’s CTUC, Jerry. There is nothing right or reasonable about it.

 

WSJcxkr.jpg7W6jor4.jpgRIxgtTH.jpgs0xn6jX.jpg

 

Jerry: Well you’re right about them setting up stuff, because we got an opening segment to introduce the very first faction actually forged inside CTUC, the Jive Soul Bros! By “forged inside” I mean to differentiate them from the likes of the Sins or the Devil’s Playthings and Club Exotico who were already a group before CTUC and hired as such.

 

Calvin: Good call to have Starr and the good disco doctor work the stick there, they’re clearly the gifted talkers of the group and it kinda fits Reefer’s character to remain silent and mysterious. Also, oh my God, Simba the Tribal Warrior, I didn’t even know he was still employed by CTUC!

 

Jerry: Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for… well, little short of a year. That messed up my rhyme… Anyway, yeah, they introduced themselves and hyped up the main event match, but also mentioned we’d be seeing the other half of the group in action as well!

 

Calvin: Speaking of groups, we had one of the most tasteless work the opening match…

 

wVJ5ldN.jpgFPnma5S.jpgh6EOgmk.jpgBjxYseW.jpg

YVsd6vQ.jpg

U6H0fRA.jpgRe0sXYU.jpgnLbuFIm.jpgoKHYAmC.jpgwH1wLxvX.jpg

 

Jerry: Yes, we had Abominatrix und Die Übersoldaten in a 4 on 4 match against Gluttony, Sloth, Lust and Wrath. Which built on the villainous group’s debut last month, but I think it’s also interesting because the man doing the Wrath character is not only Jewish, he actually hails from a family that fled WW2 Germany.

 

Calvin: Makes you wonder how he got on board with the entire idea. Assuming he was asked, of course. Maybe he wasn’t. Some of his moves did seem like he was legitimately trying to hurt those guys. Abominatrix too.

 

Jerry: I’d say Lust was the star of that match. Well, a star in general but I loved how the character interacted with the opposition. Like, ze Germans were out to hurt non-German people, Jews especially, but they just didn’t know what to make of Lust.

 

Calvin: Guess the world was more black and white in the 40s. They kinda played into that though and Lust did get the pin on Abominatrix with a sneaky roll up from behind while she was directing traffic for her truppen to gang up on Wrath.

 

Jerry: Hate to say it, Calvin, but this was sub-par even for CTUC standards. Maybe because they held back and tried to work the crowd more than they tried to actually wrestle. And working that crowd is never easy when the characters in the ring are so hard to swallow.

 

Calvin: Well that’s why they rushed to the next match and from the Germany of the 1940s to women’s wrestling in the late 90s.

 

hxAldRL.jpgCX6455F.jpgXOsyrts.jpg

YVsd6vQ.jpg

I4W4guS.jpgMFOfy9R.jpgncb55c7.jpg

 

Jerry: It’s jiggle time indeed and the next chapter in the ongoing feud between the Devil’s Playthings and the women of the Seven Deadly Sins. Also a race for the Playthings to take Pride’s CTUC Baddest Bitch title.

 

Calvin: Personal taste aside, this match was superb for what it does. It got the crowd buzzing, it featured some good looking women in a flesh show and you know, for a sports entertainment divas’ match, the actually wrestling was actually superb.

 

Jerry: I’ll have to agree, we rated that one at three and a half stars out of five and Lilith got the pin over Envy, who somehow managed to not injure herself again.

 

Calvin: Envy’s a little rubber ball, she may be picking up injuries but she shakes them off just as easy to come back. Don’t think she’s actually missed a show due to injury.

 

Jerry: Well if it’s injury and danger you’re looking for, how about the next match…

 

DFTwjAc.jpgKwzOwDa.jpgYVsd6vQ.jpgRIxgtTH.jpgs0xn6jX.jpg

 

Calvin: Right, right, Killboy Powerhead. In case you missed the subtext, this was Dr. Funkenstein’s return from an injury that Powerhead gave him in a dark match not long ago. There’s a lot to break down in this match, namely how it was a two star overbooked mess and somehow everyone left the ring on their own two feet, including Killboy who was once again turned into a human missile by his teaammate.

 

Jerry: What I want to talk about is Jungle Boogie! You heard that right fans, that’s how Simba and Dr. Funkenstein were announced. Cheapest of jokes, since it’s basically a wildman and a disco character put together, but they really hit it off as a team!

 

Calvin: Yeah I think there’s potential in that pairing if they’re gonna be the foot soldiers of the Jive Soul Bros and quite frankly, I wouldn’t mind if they replaced the likes of Killboy Powerhead in the tag team division.

 

YLLhuLq.jpglPHNLM9.jpg

 

Jerry: Well, you may be getting your wish, Calvin. Or you may be getting absolute horror. Because we got a pre-recorded message from the Bonechillers right after the match, offering a title shot to the winner of the match at Day Zero with the caveat that the loser will be leaving the company. I’m thinking this is them writing Killboy Powerhead out, but like you said, this is CTUC. We could be seeing those two winning the titles, just so we don’t forget what this is we’re watching.

 

Calvin: I’ll admit I giggled when they said “Congratulations for your victory (insert team name here)”. They took a really fun stab at this whole pre-recorded stuff.

 

Jerry: Well if you want to talk about that, let’s move on to probably my favourite match of the night, Orcus defending the CTUC Bucket of Blood title in a Chicken Coop Brawl match against (Donde Esta) La Pollo!

 

FhsZEMX.jpg

1QszUW4.jpgYVsd6vQ.jpgWDzAnJr.jpg

 

Calvin: Oh gosh, this is Final Deletion all over again… They actually recorded a match held inside a chicken coop and showed it on the big screen.

 

Jerry: And it was great! Match of the night at two and a half stars, fight me.

 

Calvin: They got pretty… creative with the scenery. Actually, I’d argue it perfectly encapsulates the sillyness and garbage hardcore spirit of CTUC.

 

Jerry: It was delightful! And Pollo sold that Sin List in the finish like it killed him!

 

Calvin: Well, narratively, it did. In the most ridiculous, surreal, CTUC way possible.

 

Jerry: Yes! So get this, people, Orcus tossed his opponent into a meat grinder. We then cut to Orcus starting up the machine…

 

Calvin: Some editing may have been involved, in order to prevent him from actually murdering a fellow wrestler…

 

Jerry: ...and out of the other end… chicken nuggets!

 

Calvin: Guess bloodied ground meat would have been too much, but we still had Orcus basically murdering a man live on demand and no one batting an eyelid. Hold on, we have a caller on standby, it’s the Attitude Era, they want their ideas back.

 

1QszUW4.jpg8zbotOu.jpg

 

Jerry: Back to the venue, Orcus and Moxley come out with a platter of chicken nuggets…

 

Calvin: I did notice the absence of Scarlett Church at this point, I’m guessing Pollo’s attack was basically the way to write her out.

 

Jerry: Probably. So the Chi Church Cult are handing out the nuggets like it’s the Holy Communion…

 

Q1qRBil.jpg

 

Calvin: Well Señor Mosca did make the save last month, but I really couldn’t tell if he was out for revenge or to grab a snack off the recently deceased.

 

Jerry: Whatever the case may be, the Cult was prepared and they subverted the usual attack angle thanks to cans of bug spray they’d packed in their trunks!

 

82hAmiU.jpg

 

Calvin: Then we got Annabell the Canni-belle out for another comedy spot…

 

Jerry: That was a PSA acted out, I’m telling you, because Annabell couldn’t be repelled via bug spray so they hold the platter out to her and she’s like “what the hell is this thing?”

 

Calvin: Is there even any chicken in chicken nuggets? Is this chicken or man? Soylent green is made of people!

 

Jerry: It was funny and it distracted her long enough for a beatdown. A bloody, bloody beatdown…

 

Calvin: And you know the smell of blood will attract predators…

 

Jerry: Lights go out and oooooooooh sheeeeeeeeet….

 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="

https://www.youtube.com/embed/gSuyuVEHby8" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

fLQZkg3.jpg

EL CHUPACABRA!

 

Calvin: Makes sense now, but at the time I never saw it coming!

 

Jerry: That is how you make a return! He cleaned house and fans ate it up.

 

Calvin: So they wrote out La Pollo and we head to the final show picking up right where we left off, with Orcus defending his title against…

 

Both: EL CHUPACABRA!

 

Jerry: Pollo literally came in to fill in after that flash injury and he almost stole the show altogether!

 

Calvin: And as if that shock wasn’t enough, we move on to the main event entrances. Starr and Reefer come out first... of course! Everyone’s waiting to see who Mikey Malice will be teaming with…

 

SMX2zSc.jpg32Edq4E.jpg

 

Jerry: She’s no Barbie girl in a Barbie world, that’s New Horror Extreme’s Hardcore Barbie!

 

Calvin: Malice was like “if no one’s teaming up with me, I’m bringing in outside help” and what a pick he made… Remember last month when we said Reefer was the first ever worker to be recruited from the competition? Well Reefer came over from LeftCoast Ultraviolence, now Hardcore Barbie from NHEW, Malice has been making some big moves, this signing was a statement!

 

SMX2zSc.jpg32Edq4E.jpgYVsd6vQ.jpgWSJcxkr.jpg7W6jor4.jpg

 

Jerry: It was decent, don't get me wrong. Certainly above CTUC's usual two star matches. It just wasn't as good as the hardcore title match. Think instead of building up to the main event, the previous match and segment kinda stole its thunder.

 

Calvin: Two and a quarter star for the main event, and the show altogether. It was mostly there to set up Grim Reefer versus Mikey Malice for the title next month.

 

Jerry: And debut Hardcore Barbie. But yeah, they probably needed a bit more time for this to work. By the time Reefer hit the Tombstone Piledriver it was less than ten full minutes into the match. That's a bit short for a singles match, let alone a tag main event!

 

Calvin: So we got all the title matches set up for next month, except the Women's title really. We'll have to wait for the full card, but this show did a pretty decent job of setting up the next.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So we will be seeing Ghost Donde Esta La Pollo soon right - CTUC needs to lean into it's CZW/CHIKARA hybrid nature and Ghostly Man Eating Chicken returning from ... well … being eaten is perfect.

 

The show meanwhile was a work of art. It was weird , it was tasteless (well except for the Nuggets I guess) and it was plain laugh out loud funny.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...