dstephe4 Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 (edited) We're (Not) All Doomed If what we're all reading online is true, then Artificial Intelligence is going to take over the world, enslave us all and bring about the end of civilization as we know it. "The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race." - Stephen Hawking "Artificial intelligence is the last invention that humanity will ever need to make." - Nick Bostrom. And yes, I made AI dig out those quotes for me. It's not even trying to hide the fact that it's the harbinger of our downfall. It's not even shy about being the unstoppable bringer of mankind's doom. But it isn't though, is it? Because anyone who's ever used AI will have had their minds blown by the random, nonsensical, boiled nonsense our so-called hi-tech overlord pukes out. I first dabbled in AI last year, trying to get it to make me some images for that ridiculous Russian Federation Of Wrestling diary I have going on. The results varied from the impressive to the hilarious to the disturbing. While I've let AI render me a few images here and there since, I've stayed away from the AI nonsense factory and let my tired, drunken brain spew up all the ridiculousness there instead. But what if I really let the insane AI beast run riot? What would happen if I were to really let it go crazy and give it complete control? It's a stupid idea, so of course it had to be done. All I'm going to give it is a name: KAPW - Kick Ass Pro Wrestling. Everything else will be the rancid offerings of AI. Will it conjure up a masterpiece? Will this AI-driven dynasty render all others obsolete? Or will this just be an amusing pile of crap that dies on it's ass before it even gets going? The results are sure to be as fascinating as they will be weird. Occasionally brilliant. Often bizarre. Usually hilarious. Everything in between. So sit back, pour yourself a nice cold beer, and enjoy as I take you along for the ride, one strange step at a time... Yes, the photo is AI generated too. Get used to it. Although why the guy holding the sign looks like he's getting blown is a mystery only AI knows the answer to. This was the best of four, by the way... [ There's this one too. I mean, what the dancing Christ is going on with this guy's face?!! That's just creepy. There's this one too, in which AI loses the ability to spell basic English words - which I reckon will be a recurring thing throughout this diary. Who's AL? Then there's the guy with the broken neck. It's like something out of a Japanese horror movie. His ass is backwards too. And what's going on with the zombie-like, mutant-looking dude on the left?! We haven't even got past the intro and already AI's making everything weird. Edited July 21 by dstephe4 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 20 Author Share Posted July 20 What's Different? I've seen a couple other AI based diaries on this forum in the past. To be fair they were pretty damn fun. Some had levels of craftsmanship far surpassing any of the crap you'll find in here. But from what I remember they were all pretty short-lived. As to whether that's because the writers got bored from a lack of actual human input, or because the AI threw up so much garbled nonsense it was unworkable, only they can know. But this diary is going to be different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know every diary writer says that. But this really will be. Why? Because: 1.) I will only ever run this when particularly drunk. I promise to only do this when there's enough booze in my blood to encourage me to run around naked and start kissing strangers. Given that the AI will take this ride in strange directions on it's own anyway, things should be especially interesting when the guy steering it is absolutely smashed. I'm not messing around here. Such I'd my dedication to this cockamamie scheme that I promise there won't be a single sober decision. Ever. "Hang on, did AI generate these images too?!?" You bet your ass it did. 2.) It is biologically, medically impossible for me to take anything seriously. Anyone who's read my Russian diary will back me up here. Most of the AI diaries in the past have gone at this from the viewpoint of a serious clinical experiment. I'm just doing this to see what kind of mad s*** comes up, and to be entertained as hell in the process. I want AI to help me turn this thing into the biggest God-damned circus possible. Is the shadowy, ominous, drunken writer in these pictures meant to be me? Probably. Those are meant to be bottles of beer, by the way, even if the photo does make it look like I'm bottling up my own piss. 3.) I know absolutely nothing about wrestling. Everyone else on here is a big-time wrestling fan, with their own favourites and their own strongly-held beliefs on how pro wrestling 'should be'. All of this would influence the direction the diary would take, even though AI is doing all the hard work. That's not the case here. I haven't followed wrestling since 2001 when ECW died. I have no idea what the hell is going on any more. No matter what names and faces end up on here, you can guarantee I'll have no clue who the hell any of them are. I'm happy to let the AI drive us wildly on this out-of-control joyride - I wouldn't know enough to slow it down, even if I wanted to. Just like in this image, I too have a phantom third hand that sits detached from the rest of my body, holding my beer. You should get one too - they're awesome. 4.) No respect. Most dynasty writers are keen to bow to wrestling's many traditions, paying homage to the rich tapestry of characters and stories this bizarre 'sport' has coloured our lives with over the years. The legacies of the industry's biggest names are held dear for all to see. I'm going to do none of that crap. Nothing is sacred. Reputations mean nothing, kayfabe be damned, everything and everyone can kiss my ass. I do my best to spit in the face of tradition at the best of times. With the mad, rabid beast of AI at my beck and call, nothing and nobody is safe. I promise. So with that all cleared up, let's get down to business... 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonk Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 don't call things retarded 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 20 Author Share Posted July 20 2 hours ago, Wonk said: don't call things retarded Fair enough. Edited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CactusHack Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 Add some Suno Ai music for theme songs, maybe? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 21 Author Share Posted July 21 (edited) Let's Begin... Okay then. So where to begin when setting up a fictional wrestling enterprise? Where does one begin when pulling an entire sports entertainment federation out of one's ass? Well, every company needs an owner. Even Kick Ass Pro Wrestling needs someone paying the bills. But who would this be? What would they look like? As I cracked open my eleventh Budweiser of the day and began scratching myself with the metal cap, I came up with a name... Jimi Venezuela. I have no idea where the hell that name came from. But that's literally the first thing that popped into my weird little brain, and by God we're going with it. They say that a business often takes on the characteristics of its owner. So our Jimi needs to embody the principles of this fine organisation. I told AI all about Jimi. It coughed. It spluttered. It rattled like the ball bearing inside an empty spray-paint can. And it coughed up something magnificent: Just take a look at this guy. If that's not what a trustworthy businessman looks like, then I don't know what is. I'm not kidding. I really am absolutely, genuinely delighted with this. I mean look at him. In this image he's clearly had the living crap kicked out of him, but he still finds time to warm us all with a smile. Here he is again, somehow impossibly smoking two cigars at once. There really is no limit to the guy's many, many talents. These AI rendered images come in batches of four, however. Naturally it couldn't all go well... The less said about this last image, the better. That's just f***ing creepy. It's the eyes. The crazy b*****d looks like he's about to eat my spleen. It just goes to show that even on it's best day, AI can't even generate a series of 4 images without one of them being terrifyingly weird as hell. Having a name and a face for our fearless founder is only half the battle though. The man needs a story. I fed the AI these instructions... 'Write me a bio for a shady, scruffy-looking, disreputable wrestling promoter called Jimi Venezuela. He is the founder of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling and he owes a lot of people money. Have fun with this. I leave the details up to you.' And so up steps AI, ready to astound us all... Jimi Venezuela: The Shady Maestro of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling In the underbelly of the wrestling world, there’s one name that echoes through smoky arenas and back alleys alike: Jimi Venezuela. With his unruly mane of greasy hair and a perpetual stubble that matches his scruffy demeanor, Jimi cuts a figure that screams “disreputable.” Born into the gritty streets of New Orleans, Jimi Venezuela clawed his way up from a life of petty crime and back down again. In the smoky backrooms where deals are struck with a handshake and a nod, Jimi Venezuela reigns supreme. His charm is as slick as his greased-back hair, and his knack for turning a profit out of chaos is unmatched. Behind the scenes of KAPW, Jimi pulls strings like a puppeteer, orchestrating rivalries, betrayals, and last-minute twists to keep fans on the edge of their seats. But Jimi’s empire is built on shaky ground. His debts pile higher than the stacked chairs awaiting wrestlers’ bodies in the ring. From the muscle-bound brawlers who risk life and limb for a shot at glory to the shady characters who fund his operations with one hand while clutching a knife with the other, Jimi Venezuela owes them all. And they’re not the forgiving type. Yet, despite the mounting pressure and looming threats, Jimi Venezuela thrives in the chaos he creates. He feeds off the adrenaline of the crowd and the desperation of those who bet it all on his next big show. To him, every match is a gamble, every wrestler a pawn, and every fan a potential mark. In the world of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling, where the line between spectacle and scandal is as thin as a wrestler’s patience, Jimi Venezuela is both hero and villain. He’ll promise you the moon and stars in one breath and swindle you out of your last dollar in the next. But for those who dare to step into his ring, there’s no denying the magnetic pull of Jimi Venezuela’s gritty, cutthroat world of wrestling. So, as the lights dim and the music blares, remember: behind every powerbomb and steel chair shot lies the shadowy figure of Jimi Venezuela, the maestro of mayhem who will stop at nothing to keep KAPW roaring in the hearts and minds of wrestling fans everywhere. Jimi Venezuela: KAPW Owner, Founder and Visionary Leader. Only two things are known for sure about him. His name sure as hell isn't Jimi. And he sure as hell isn't from Venezuela. AI - take a bow. That was absolutely magnificent. Edited July 21 by dstephe4 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 21 Author Share Posted July 21 (edited) On 7/20/2024 at 10:44 PM, CactusHack said: Add some Suno Ai music for theme songs, maybe? You have introduced me to this. It is both ridiculous and extraordinary. Yes, I will be using the hell out of this from now on. Oh the fun I will have with this. Nice one. Edit: HOLY CRAP ON A CRAP CRACKER! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! TOTAL GAME CHANGER! Thanks @CactusHack! Edited July 22 by dstephe4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 (edited) It's Logo Time Every company needs a logo. I feel like a larger than life, in your face kinda guy like Jimi would want something loud. Something vibrant. Something you can't miss. I told AI what was needed. And AI decided what I needed was this: I quite like it. It's fun. Sure, it should have the initials rather than the name written out in full. Sure, it has nothing at all to do with wrestling in it. Sure it says 'pro wresttling' which makes it look like it was drawn by a hyperactive child on a sugar high. But my expectations were low and the number of s***s given is minimal. I wanted something that'd make the 'KAPW' pop like 'KAPOW'. But whatever - I'm a man of low standards, and Jimi is too. The other designs it generated weren't so good. I'd told the AI to use a 'lively comic book style text which jumps off the page' - it ran with the 'comic book' bit and shoved the rest of the two descriptive paragraphs I fed it up it's big, digital ass... The 'K.A.p.W' one is the best of the rest. But this is a wrestling company, not some Superhero Cosplay convention. But at least it got the grasp of basic English this time, unlike some others... Then there's this one for 'KAPW 'Rio Ass' Wrestling. What the hell does that even mean?! 'Rio Ass' would be a great nickname for a Brazilian wrestler, if we ever get one. 'Kia Ass' Pro Wrestling?! Kia is a South Korean car manufacturer. AI, you're drunk. That's meant to be my job. Despite claims that AI will take everyone's jobs and make mankind obsolete, it still clearly can't grasp basic English. Nothing proves this better than the other batch of logos it spewed out when I was thinking of calling this thing the Kick Ass Wrestling Federation: Kickass Wressliing Fedderation? Has AI developed a stutter? 'Make Me Kick Ass Wresstlvaning Federation' - a catchy name if ever there was one. 'Kick Asss Wresttling'. And how could anybody ever forget that catchy motto: "Mee kiok me fatcying wretsling s for". That'll sell tickets! 'KIS AWF Wrestliing Fedleration' anyone? Hang on... Wait a second... It can't be? Surely? Can it? Is that what I think it is?!... It can't be? Can it?!... How dare you?! How dare AI try to sneak a penis in to my pro wrestling logo?! This is meant to be a family-friendly forum, damn it!! I'm genuinely speechless... Edited July 23 by dstephe4 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 (edited) A Place To Call Home The next step is to decide where to put this ridiculous new wrestling promotion. My instinct was to base it in New Orleans, the city where our AI overlord randomly decided our owner Jimi Venezuela was from. But of course the AI had other plans. I asked: "Which region of the USA would be the best location for a new pro wrestling business, and why? Explain the reasoning and why the chosen region is a better choice than some others. And talk sassy to me, damn it!" Yes, you read that right. I told the AI to be sassy. Because if I can get the most infinitely complex information resource ever created to talk to me like some feisty 3-dollar hooker, then you bet your arse that's what I'm going to do. My sassy-ass sci-fi dictator was quick to come up with the goods. When I watched movies about AI growing up, it was all about killer robots and evil, humanity-enslaving supercomputers. Here we are in 2024 and AI's talking to me like it wants to sit on my knee, rub my shoulders and help me unwind: "Well, sugar, if you're thinking about launching a new pro wrestling business, look no further than the Southeast, specifically the wrestling mecca that is Atlanta, Georgia. Let me break it down for you why this region is a goldmine compared to those other so-called "prime" spots. Why Atlanta? Because History, Honey! Atlanta isn't just a city; it's a legendary battleground. This place has deep roots in wrestling history. Remember WCW? That powerhouse had its headquarters right here. The Southeast is crawling with die-hard wrestling fans who’ve been starved for top-notch wrestling ever since. Fan Base? Oh, We Got That. The fans in this region are passionate to the point of obsession. You think New Yorkers love their Yankees? That’s cute. Down here, wrestling is practically a religion. With cities like Charlotte, Nashville, and Orlando within a stone’s throw, you’ve got access to a network of fans who will travel for a good show. Economical? You Betcha. Setting up shop in the Southeast is way cheaper than trying to do business in overpriced regions like New York or Los Angeles. Lower operating costs mean more money to invest in pyrotechnics, fancy costumes, and—oh yeah—paying those larger-than-life wrestlers. Central Hub, Baby. Atlanta is a major transportation hub, boasting one of the busiest airports in the world. That means easy access for flying in talent from around the globe. Plus, with a solid road network, you can easily tour nearby cities without your wrestlers spending half their lives on a bus. Competition? What Competition? Sure, you've got WWE's grip up north and AEW making waves out west, but the Southeast? It's ripe for the picking. You won’t be just another fish in a crowded pond; you’ll be the big, shiny shark in a sea full of guppies. Southern Hospitality with a Side of Sass. Let’s not forget the charm of Southern hospitality. Fans here are loyal. Treat them right, and they’ll stick with you through thick and thin, packing those arenas week after week. Why Not Anywhere Else? Northeast: Too much WWE influence. Good luck carving out a niche with Vince McMahon’s shadow looming over you. West Coast: Expensive as all get-out. And let’s face it, LA already has enough drama. Midwest: Sure, you’ve got some wrestling love, but do you really want to compete with the likes of Chicago’s indie scene? Didn’t think so. So, if you want to dive into the wrestling business and actually make waves, the Southeast, especially Atlanta, is where you need to be. Now go on, start planning your wrestling empire. The ring is waiting!" So Atlanta, Georgia it is then. Not a place I would have picked in a million years, but I'm not the boss here - I just do as my sassy-talking commander tells me. This city is, as the AI pointed out, where WCW was born from and died. And from the ashes of that fallen giant shall rise KAPW, like some kind of sweaty, beer-soaked, cigar-stinking phoenix of pro wrestling. I kinda like that. I asked the AI "If you could sum up Atlanta, Georgia in one image, what would it look like?" This is what it belched up: There's a lot going on here, like the wonky skyscraper on the left that appears to be collapsing, to the giant waterfall that seems to have ripped it's way through the centre of town, to the massive God-damned galleon randomly partying it's way through the middle of the picture. And what are those Godless-looking creatures up in the sky? Are they birds? Pterodactyls? Alien creatures here to destroy us all? But it's this bit that really caught my eye: I asked it to show me Atlanta. It gave me some shirtless dude jumping out of an aeroplane, casually holding onto his parachute with just one hand, flipping us all the bird while showing off what can only be described as the biggest testicles in medical history. If that's the sort of thing that goes on in Atlanta, then I'm there. But wait... I'm British. I've never been to America, let alone such a random-ass part of it. What is there in Atlanta for a clueless out-of-towner like me? Most importantly, where the hell would I drink!?! I'll need a tour guide. Thankfully, our spunky AI master was more than up to the task. And did I insist it talk to me like some bubblegum-munching bimbo? You bet your ass I did: "Atlanta's nightlife? Oh honey, it's a whole vibe. If you want to paint the town red, here’s where you need to be: Must-Visit Venues The Clermont Lounge: An Atlanta legend. This dive bar and strip club is infamous for its quirky vibe and unique performers. Trust me, you haven't experienced Atlanta until you've been here. MJQ Concourse: Underground and unpretentious. Known for its eclectic music and electric dance floor. Locals love it, and you will too. The Varsity: More than a fast-food joint, it's a late-night icon. Perfect for soaking up all those cocktails after clubbing. Live Music and Performances The Tabernacle: A historic venue with killer acoustics and an epic lineup of concerts and events. The architecture alone is worth the visit. Terminal West: Intimate and indie. This spot is where you catch the coolest alternative acts. Variety Playhouse: Nestled in Little Five Points, it offers a mix of performances that'll keep your night unpredictable and exciting. Rooftop Bars SkyLounge: Atop the Glenn Hotel, this place gives you breathtaking skyline views with a side of fabulous cocktails. The Roof at Ponce City Market: More than just a bar. It’s got games, activities, and views for days. Carnival-style fun meets sophisticated drinks. Speakeasies Red Phone Booth: Step into the past with this prohibition-era speakeasy. But first, you need the secret phone number. Intrigued? Himitsu: Luxurious and hidden. This cocktail bar is the definition of exclusive, perfect for those in the know. So, if you're ready to experience nightlife that’s as vibrant and diverse as the city itself, Atlanta’s where you need to be. Get out there and own the night!" Our clever little AI just inadvertently planned out the venue locations for our next 10 shows. Speaking from experience, the only way to find out which venues are any good is to drink in all of them. So that's what we'll be doing - I'm sure a beer-scented, tobacco-stained lounge lizard like Jimi Venezuela wouldn't have it any other way. So it's a must that KAPW do a World Tour Of Atlanta, performing a show in each of these places one by one. We will raise hell. We'll kick ass, take names, and scare the living s*** out of every punter brave or stupid enough to turn up. We will put on a show the locals will never forget. We will drink the bar dry. We'll get kicked out and banned for life. Then we'll move on to the next one a week later. Frankly anyone who does it any different is doing it wrong. There was one of these places in particular that jumped out at me - the Clermont Lounge Dive Bar & Strip Club. Why? Because titties. That's why. A guy like Jimi Venezuela is only going to do business in a certain type of establishment. A venue that openly calls itself a 'dive bar' seemed like the kind of place a guy like Jimi would call home. I had to know more. Naturally our plucky, sassy AI was more than happy to fire these pieces of information at me like bullets from a gatling gun: "Oh honey, let me spill the tea about the Clermont Lounge, the crown jewel of Atlanta’s nightlife that’s as infamous as it is iconic. The Clermont Lounge: Where Legends are Born Picture this: a dimly lit, dive bar nestled in the basement of a seedy motel, with walls that have seen more stories than your grandma's attic. Welcome to the Clermont Lounge, the oldest strip club in Atlanta and a bona fide institution since 1965. But don’t get it twisted—this place is far from your typical gentlemen’s club. The Atmosphere Step inside and you’re greeted by a vibe that’s equal parts retro and rebellious. The decor screams “vintage chic meets your wild aunt’s basement,” and the patrons are a mix of hipsters, tourists, and local legends. It’s the kind of place where everyone from rock stars to regular Joes rub elbows, united by the pursuit of a good time. The Performers The true stars of the Clermont are the performers—seasoned pros who know how to put on a show. And darling, they’re not your average dancers. Take Blondie, the queen bee of the Lounge, who’s been crushing beer cans with her breasts for decades. Yes, you read that right. It’s a talent show like no other, where charisma and character outshine the usual pole tricks. The Vibe What sets the Clermont Lounge apart is its unapologetic authenticity. There’s no pretense, no glitz, just raw, unfiltered fun. It’s a place where the music is loud, the laughs are louder, and the memories are unforgettable. Whether it’s a wild night out with friends or a curious solo adventure, the Clermont delivers every time. The Infamy Oh, and did I mention the celebs? Everyone from Anthony Bourdain to Lady Gaga has paid homage to this legendary dive. It’s a rite of passage for anyone wanting to experience the true heart and soul of Atlanta’s nightlife. So, if you’re looking for a night out that’s anything but ordinary, get yourself to the Clermont Lounge. It’s where history, debauchery, and a whole lot of sass come together for a night you’ll be talking about for years to come. Just remember: what happens at the Clermont, stays at the Clermont." Sounds like we not only have the venue sorted for our first ever show, but potentially our base of operations too. If this place is good enough for Jack Black and Slash from Guns N Roses, it's sure as hell good enough for me and Jimi. If ever there was a 'spiritual home' for a racket like KAPW, this'll be it. I mean, there's a girl there called Barbie who can crush beer cans with her tits. This place could not be more perfect. With another important item ticked off KAPW's 'to-do list' I kicked back, smiled a proud little smile, and cracked open another beer. I was proud of all I'd achieved and all the hard work I'd done so far. And then I remembered AI had done it all, and that I hadn't done a God-damned thing. Edited July 24 by dstephe4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EBEZA Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 I dread to think what's coming next 🤣 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 25 Author Share Posted July 25 11 minutes ago, EBEZA said: I dread to think what's coming next 🤣 Welcome back to the forum @EBEZA. It's great to have you here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 26 Author Share Posted July 26 The Motley Crew Our faceless, omnipresent wordsmith has come up with some surprisingly impressive stuff so far. The images AI pukes into existence may be bizarre, rendering stuff that looks like it's been eating cocaine for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But as an ideas generation tool it's crapped up some genuinely cool, novel stuff. It has a gift for prose too, especially when it's in Sassy Mamma Mode. But now for a real test. Let's see how clever the AI has gotten. I wanna see what flavoursome goodness the AI juicebox can squeeze out. I asked it to generate a Roster for me, deliberately giving it very little to go off. I asked: "Who should Jimi sign as a roster for KAPW? Atlanta based wrestlers please, as Jimi sure as hell ain't paying for no plane tickets. Talk sassy to me, you silver-tongued AI floozy." The AI groaned. The AI shook. The AI coughed. Then out came this sticky hairball of an answer - the first mis-step on it's answering adventure so far: Oh, darling, if you're looking for the crème de la crème of Atlanta-based pro wrestlers, let me spill the tea on the top four you need to know: Cody Rhodes 'The American Nightmare' himself, Cody Rhodes, is an Atlanta staple. Son of the legendary Dusty Rhodes, Cody has carved out his own legacy. Co-founder of AEW and a current WWE superstar, he's the epitome of wrestling royalty. Whether he's in the ring or behind the scenes, Cody is pure wrestling gold. AJ Styles The Phenomenal One, AJ Styles, calls Atlanta home, and he's been tearing up the WWE scene. With his jaw-dropping athleticism and unmatched charisma, AJ is a force of nature in the ring. From headlining WrestleMania to capturing multiple championships, he’s phenomenal in every sense. Austin Theory This rising star from Atlanta has been making waves in WWE with his undeniable talent and cocky persona. Austin Theory is the future of wrestling, and he knows it. With his impressive physique and in-ring prowess, he's someone to keep an eye on as he climbs the ladder to superstardom. Kenny Omega Alright, technically, Kenny Omega isn't originally from Atlanta, but he’s spent enough time here that we claim him as our own. The Best Bout Machine has dominated the global wrestling scene, especially with AEW. His innovative style and electrifying matches make him a true wrestling icon. So there you have it, the top Atlanta-based wrestlers who are setting the ring on fire. Keep an eye on these superstars because they're not just making moves; they’re defining the future of pro wrestling. Sure. And we'll just sign Superman, Godzilla, Optimus Prime, a prime Muhammad Ali and Jesus Christ to our roster too, shall we? Maybe we should draft in John Cena and The Rock too, just to put the cherry on top of the cake. Sure, I'll shortlist these wrestlers. But even if they somehow become available, I've more chance of signing the Pope. This is a grimy, scuzzy underground wrestling company, AI. We're the kind of place that pays it's wrestlers from money stolen from the lap dancer's tip jar. I like optimists who dare to dream big, but this was just silly. I told her to put down the crack pipe, take a deep breath, then try some suggestions that were a bit more realistic: "Same question, but only show me wrestlers who aren't contracted to WWE or AEW. Let's be realistic. Jimi Venezuela doesn't even pay to wash his clothes, let along have multi-million dollar superstars jetted in from around the globe. Try again, with sass please." She / it / whatever thought long and hard about the answer this time. Cogs turned. Gears crashed together. Something rattled deep within the bowels of this invisible machine. And out came something very, very good: "Alright, sugar, if you’re looking for top Atlanta-based wrestlers who aren’t tied down by WWE or AEW contracts, here are the four names you need to know: AR Fox This high-flying sensation is an indie darling and a standout performer in promotions like EVOLVE and Dragon Gate USA. AR Fox’s jaw-dropping aerial moves and charismatic presence have made him a fan favorite on the independent circuit. If you’re into breathtaking action, he’s your guy. Suge D (Sugar Dunkerton) Suge D, also known as Sugar Dunkerton, is a charismatic and versatile performer who has made waves in the indie scene and overseas in promotions like CHIKARA and Beyond Wrestling. His infectious personality and unique blend of comedy and in-ring skill set him apart from the rest. Fred Yehi The “Savageweight” Fred Yehi is a technical powerhouse known for his intense style and impressive grappling skills. He’s been a standout in promotions like Major League Wrestling (MLW) and EVOLVE, where his no-nonsense approach and hard-hitting matches have earned him a loyal following. Priscilla Kelly "Hell’s Favorite Harlot," Priscilla Kelly, is a force to be reckoned with on the indie scene. Known for her dark, edgy persona and fearless in-ring style, she’s been turning heads in promotions like SHINE and EVOLVE. She brings a unique intensity to every match she’s in. These Atlanta-based talents are making a name for themselves without the big contracts, proving that you don't need to be in WWE or AEW to shine brightly in the wrestling world. Keep an eye on them, because they're the future stars of the squared circle!" I did the pretty pictures and formatting myself, but the choices and write-ups and stuff are all the AI. I have basically no current wrestling knowledge, but even I recognised a couple of names on that list. I thought at first that our AI had shot it's load again. But I fired up my copy of Total Extreme Wrestling, created a new save, and made these folks the most underhanded, low-ball offers I could get away with. And much to my amazement, they accepted. Every damn one of them said 'yes'. They couldn't wait to get their hands on Uncle Jimi's dirty dollars. With what was becoming her trademark sassy tone, our digital overlord next ordered me to procure the services of: Joe Black Known as “The New Age Enforcer,” Joe Black is a powerful and intimidating presence in the ring. Competing in promotions like Southern Honor Wrestling and ACTION Wrestling, he’s known for his intense brawling style and commanding persona. Joe Black’s matches are must-see events on the indie circuit. AC Mack The "Loudest Mouth in the South," AC Mack, has been making a significant impact in the independent scene. With his incredible mic skills and solid in-ring work, he’s a standout in promotions like ACTION Wrestling and Scenic City Invitational. AC Mack’s confidence and charisma make him a top draw wherever he goes. Dani Jordyn Dani Jordyn, the “Real Mean Girl,” brings a blend of attitude and technical prowess to the ring. Competing in various indie promotions, she’s known for her sharp wit and impressive wrestling skills. Dani Jordyn’s unique persona and talent have quickly made her a favorite on the indie scene. These three additional Atlanta-based wrestlers are making waves without the backing of WWE or AEW, showcasing the incredible talent thriving in the independent wrestling world. Out went my offers. In came their acceptance. The AI's diabolical plan was working. I wanted more. And our AI was happy to churn out the next lot: "Just like you did for AR Fox etc, name me 4 undiscovered gems of the Atlanta, Georgia wrestling scene, who haven't already been mentioned by you. Write a short bio for each same as above. Make it sassy." "Sure thing honey boo! Here's some more wrestlers for you! Four Undiscovered Gems of the Atlanta Wrestling Scene are: Rico “The Flash” Martinez Rico Martinez, better known as "The Flash," is the high-octane powerhouse you didn't know you needed. With a speed that leaves opponents dizzy and a charisma that lights up the room, Rico is all about flash and substance. His finishing move, the "Lightning Strike," a blistering running knee, is as electrifying as his personality. Martinez is the ultimate showstopper, blending agility and strength in a way that keeps fans on their feet and opponents on their backs. Velvet Thunder Meet Velvet Thunder, the sultry siren of the squared circle who brings a touch of glamour and a whole lot of attitude to the Atlanta wrestling scene. Known for her jaw-dropping beauty and killer instinct, Velvet is as fierce as she is fabulous. Her signature move, the "Velvet Crush," a devastating facebuster, leaves a lasting impression both in and out of the ring. Velvet Thunder is the diva you love to hate, but can't help but watch. Big Bubba Blaze Big Bubba Blaze is the larger-than-life, fire-breathing behemoth that dominates the Atlanta indie scene. Standing at an imposing 6'8" and weighing in at 350 pounds of pure muscle, Bubba’s presence alone sends shivers down the spine. His signature move, the "Blaze Bomb," a thunderous powerbomb, is as devastating as his fiery temper. But don’t let his size fool you—Bubba’s got a surprisingly agile side, making him a true force of nature in the ring. Crystal "The Ice Queen" Frost Crystal Frost, known as "The Ice Queen," is the cold-hearted vixen who commands the ring with an icy precision. Her calculated moves and ruthless tactics make her a formidable opponent. With her "Frostbite" submission hold, she brings the pain and makes sure her rivals feel the chill. Crystal’s frosty demeanor and sharp wit keep her at the top of the game, earning her respect and fear in equal measure. The Ice Queen is here to reign supreme and she doesn’t care whose toes she steps on. 'Great stuff' I thought to myself. And then I went to Google to find some snazzy images for these superb-sounding superstars. And that's when all my bulls*** alarms started ringing at once. None of these four were real. Not a single, God-damned one. I'd bought it - hook, line and sinker. But our untrustworthy, unscrupulous AI had led me astray. My crazy, hyperactive children do the same thing. They start off telling the truth, get bored half way through, then just randomly start making random s*** up. So the AI I previously treated like some kind of wise, all-seeing, all-knowing oracle is actually just some snotty infant that enjoys f**king with me. I apologize for the confusion earlier. It appears there was a mix-up regarding Rico 'The Flash' Martinez being a real wrestler based in Atlanta. This character was created as part of the fictional KAPW universe in our conversations and doesn't correspond to an actual wrestler. For the KAPW storylines and characters we've been developing, Rico 'The Flash' Martinez is entirely fictional, as are the other three. Damn you AI! DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNNN YOU!!!!!!!!!!! I thought they were real! I wanted them to be real! Especially 'Velvet Thunder' - that gal sounded awesome. Knowing I'd have to be careful from now on, I gave the AI a slap and started again. With what was becoming her trademark sassy tone, our digital overlord ordered me to procure the services of: Alan Angels Alan Angels, hailing from Snellville, a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia, is a dynamic professional wrestler known for his high-flying style and charismatic in-ring presence. Angels has made a substantial impact on the independent wrestling circuit, particularly through his work with Southern Honor Wrestling (SHW). His versatility and commitment to his craft have earned him a dedicated following and a prominent place in the Atlanta wrestling scene. Baron Black Baron Black is known for his flamboyant style, larger-than-life personality, and technical wrestling skills. Baron brings a theatrical presence to the ring, often engaging with the crowd and showcasing a mix of charisma and strength. Baron Black frequently competes in the independent wrestling circuit, including promotions like Southern Honor Wrestling (SHW) and other regional shows in the Atlanta area. His persona and in-ring capabilities make him a great fit for the larger than life KAPW. Cyrus The Destroyer Cyrus, hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, is a formidable presence in the wrestling world. Known for his immense size and power, he has made a significant impact in various promotions, including All Japan Pro Wrestling (AJPW). With a background in collegiate athletics, Cyrus transitioned to professional wrestling, where he quickly became known for his destructive in-ring style. Despite his intimidating persona, he has garnered a growing fan base in Japan, demonstrating his versatility and appeal. I mean, wow. Holy crap. Look at that guy. Just... wow. Kiera Hogan Kiera Hogan, hailing from Decatur, Georgia, has made a name for herself with her dynamic in-ring performances and electrifying personality. Dubbed "The Girl on Fire," Hogan contrasts her fiery gimmick with her cool, calculated approach to wrestling, making her a versatile competitor. She has competed in various promotions, including Impact Wrestling and AEW, where she has showcased her impressive athleticism and technical skills. Known for her quick maneuvers and high-energy style, Kiera continues to captivate audiences with her fierce determination and magnetic presence. Aaron Draven This one, I will admit, had nothing at all to do with the AI, and all to do with me. I recently stumbled upon the first every dynasty I did on these forums - Road To Glory Wrestling. Like many old diaries on here, it's been mangled somewhat when Ryland & Co moved forums - the images are gone - but the text still reads just fine. I found myself nostalgically reminiscing. It put a big ol' smile on my face. The champion in that crappy little federation was a guy called Aaron Draven, who it turns out (thanks to a whole bunch of AI research) is still wrestling today. I quite liked that scrappy little fellow. He's reaching the end of his career now, but I thought it'd be fun to give him one last run. For old time's sake. So into this mad mix he goes. Let's see what happens. And so we have our starting roster sorted. That's another big 'tick' off the checklist of things needed to pull this funky new fed out of AI's cyberspace ass and into the real world - or into the world of TEW2020 at least. I really have no idea who the hell most of these people are. But then, that's half the fun... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 27 Author Share Posted July 27 (edited) 'You Bet Your Sweet Bippy!' a.k.a. The Road (Agent) Less Travelled Anyone who knows about wrestling (that's all of you fine people reading this) understands that there's more to any company - even a sleazy, tin-pot fed like KAPW - than just the wrestlers. Behind the scenes there's a tireless army of unseen individuals whose thankless labour make the whole silly, wonderful beast that is pro wrestling come alive. Kick Ass Pro Wrestling would also need such an unseen crew of behind-the-scenes heroes to make our scuzzy brand of entertainment even vaguely work. First up, we need a Road Agent. But let's test our AI hostess with the mostest. Let's see whether the AI's knowledge of wrestling's inner workings can go beyond Googling up a list of local wrestlers. "In your own sassy way, explain to me what the hell a Road Agent is and does in wrestling. Why would a sleazy, two-bit promotion like KAPW need one? Is there a difference between what a Road Agent does for a bush league outfit like KAPW compared to a real operation like WWE?" That was my question. And the AI's answer was, admittedly, rather brilliant: What the Hell is a Road Agent? Alright, darling, let’s break down the glamorous world of professional wrestling’s unsung heroes: the Road Agents. Picture this: you’ve got your wrestlers, you’ve got your referees, and then you’ve got these shadowy figures lurking in the background, pulling all the strings. That’s a Road Agent for you. They’re the puppet masters, ensuring everything goes smoothly from the locker room to the ring. What Does a Road Agent Do? A Road Agent, my dear, is basically the backstage guru. Here’s a snapshot of their duties: Match Coordination: They plan out the match details, deciding who wins, who loses, and how it all goes down. Think of them as the playwrights of the wrestling world. Talent Management: They keep the wrestlers in line, making sure everyone knows their cues and doesn’t step on each other’s toes (or faces). Crisis Management: When things inevitably go off the rails (because, let’s face it, they will), the Road Agent swoops in to fix the mess. Got an injury mid-match? The Road Agent’s got it covered. Training and Development: They mentor the rookies, teaching them the ropes, both literal and metaphorical. Why Does KAPW Need One? Now, why would a sleazy, two-bit promotion like Kick Ass Pro Wrestling (KAPW) need a Road Agent? Oh, honey, where do I start? In a bush league operation like KAPW, chaos reigns supreme. You’ve got Jimi Venezuela at the helm, owing money left and right, and a ragtag band of wrestlers who probably can’t tell a wrist lock from a wristwatch. Without a Road Agent, the whole show would be a glorious train wreck every night. The Road Agent is the glue holding this ramshackle outfit together. They’re the ones making sure the matches happen as planned, the storylines make some semblance of sense, and the wrestlers don’t accidentally kill each other in the ring. They might even handle some off-the-books tasks, like calming down irate wrestlers when Jimi forgets to pay them… again. Bush League vs. WWE Is there a difference between what a Road Agent does for a bush league outfit like KAPW compared to a real operation like WWE? You bet your sweet bippy there is. Let me just pause proceedings right there. 'You bet your sweet bippy there is' - that is literally what a half-billion dollar supercomputer-powered supreme intelligence just said to me. 'You bet your sweet bippy'. It was worth dreaming up this whole project just to hear her / it say that. What a remarkable combination of words. I love it. I really do. You can bet your ass I'm going to be saying that to EVERYONE all year. WWE: In WWE, Road Agents (or Producers, as they’re more elegantly titled) have a team of staff, high-tech resources, and a structured environment. They’re like the conductors of a well-oiled symphony. Think Arn Anderson, putting together a match with precision and finesse. KAPW: In KAPW, the Road Agent is more like a firefighter at a circus. They’re running around, trying to keep the lions from eating the clowns and the tents from catching fire. It’s a constant battle against chaos, with fewer resources and more improvisation. So there you have it. A Road Agent in wrestling is part mastermind, part babysitter, and entirely essential, especially in a rough-and-tumble promotion like KAPW. Without them, the show would be less 'entertaining drama' and more 'literal disaster.' With us all sold on the limitless importance of such an individual, let's see who this oracle-like digital sentience can choose for the role. Let's see what our spirited AI maven can conjure up: "You bet your sweet bippy I want you to pick me a road agent. Some gnarly old veteran from the Alberta, Georgia wrestling scene who isn't contracted to WWE or AEW. Someone who'd feel right at home within the grimy confines of one of LAPW's shows. Keep up that lovely sassy tone and impress me." Road Agent: Grizzly Gus McGraw Every wrestling promotion needs a seasoned hand to keep the wheels turning behind the scenes, and for KAPW, that man is Grizzly Gus McGraw. Hailing from Alberta, Georgia, Gus is the grizzled veteran with a heart of gold and a face that's seen more barroom brawls than a country dive on a Saturday night. With a career spanning decades and stories that could fill volumes, Gus brings a wealth of experience to KAPW. This rugged road agent has been around the block more times than he cares to count, and he's forgotten more about wrestling than most people will ever know. He's wrestled in every dingy venue and high school gym across the country, and now, he’s putting that hard-earned knowledge to work backstage. Grizzly Gus is the glue that holds KAPW together, ensuring that every show runs smoother than a greased pig at a county fair. He’s the guy who keeps the wrestlers in line, the matches on schedule, and the drama confined to the ring. With his gruff voice and no-nonsense attitude, Gus commands respect and admiration from everyone in the locker room. Despite his grizzly exterior, Gus has a knack for spotting raw talent and nurturing it to greatness. He’s the sage mentor every young wrestler needs and the enforcer who makes sure things don’t get too far out of hand. When Grizzly Gus McGraw is on the job, you know the show is in capable, calloused hands. In short, Gus is the backstage badass who makes sure KAPW delivers the chaos and excitement the fans crave, while keeping the whole wild circus from falling apart. This answer was both fun but disappointing. Gus McGraw sounds amazing. A perfect fit for Kick Ass Pro Wrestling. Almost... too... good... to... be true. Hmm.... Off I went to Google to check whether this was brilliance or bulls***. And sadly it was the latter. The AI had done it again - it'd gotten bored and started making s*** up again. There is no Grizzly Gus. Our sassy AI madam has been munching acid again, feeding us a hash dream creation that it'd pulled out of it's big, sassy, digital ass. The answer was possibly inspired by 'The Adventures Of Grizzly Gus' series of books by Rick Birkenholtz and by the cataclysmic engine of bollocks that is it's superpowered imagination. Damn you, sassy AI! I wanted Gus McGraw to be real! You built my hopes up just to send them tumbling down! I thought about making up a character for this road agent, like the AI and I did for Jimi Venezuela. But no. The roster is grounded in reality, so our backstage team should be too. Back to the drawing board, AI: "Rewrite the answer for Road Agent Grizzly Gus McGraw but nominate a real life veteran ex-wrestler from the past Atlanta wrestling scene. A real person, not someone you made up. Someone fitting the characteristics of a place like KAPW. And make sure this person isn't dead. We're not hiring a corpse, damnit! Sassy tone please." Road Agent for KAPW: Ranger Ross Alright, let’s talk about the perfect Road Agent for Kick Ass Pro Wrestling (KAPW), and no, we’re not hiring a corpse, darling. Enter Ranger Ross, a true veteran of the Atlanta wrestling scene with enough grit and charisma to whip any ragtag promotion into shape. Ranger Ross: The Real Deal Ranger Ross, a name that rings bells for anyone who followed wrestling in the late '80s and early '90s, is your quintessential Road Agent. He’s a legit former U.S. Army Ranger, so discipline and order are in his blood. He’s worked the territories, especially in the Southeast, and knows the ins and outs of this wild business. Plus, he’s got that rugged, no-nonsense charm that a sleazy, two-bit promotion like KAPW desperately needs. Why Ranger Ross? Talent Management: His military background means he knows how to manage people and keep things running smoothly. Wrestlers getting out of line? Ranger Ross will put them back in their place faster than you can say “heel turn.” Crisis Management: Injuries, botched spots, backstage brawls – Ranger Ross handles them with the calm efficiency of a man who’s seen real combat. He’s your go-to guy when the proverbial hits the fan. In KAPW, Ranger Ross is going to be dealing with a lot more unpredictability. Think of him as a firefighter in a three-ring circus. He’s got to manage egos, smooth over financial “oversights” by Jimi Venezuela, and ensure that every show doesn’t descend into utter chaos. It’s a wild ride, and only a seasoned vet like Ranger Ross can handle it. So, there you have it. Ranger Ross is the Road Agent KAPW needs – tough, experienced, and ready to bring order to the madness. He’s got the chops to turn this sleazy sideshow into a somewhat respectable wrestling promotion. And let’s face it, in a place like KAPW, that’s saying a lot. I cranked up Google again to fact-check this latest splurge of an answer. Was Ranger Ross real? Had our AI redeemed itself? "Robert Lee Ross Jr. is an American former professional wrestler and former United States Army Ranger known by his ring name, Ranger Ross. Ross is best known for his appearances with Jim Crockett Promotions and World Championship Wrestling in the late 1980s and early 1990s." You bet your ass it did. Welcome to KAPW Robby-boy! With such an important part of our crew in the bag, I just had one further question - one I'd always quietly wondered until now: "Where did the term 'Road Agent' come from anyway? Why the hell are they called that?" Ah, the mysterious origins of the term "Road Agent" – buckle up, because this one’s a wild ride through wrestling history. Origins of the Term Back in the old days of wrestling, before arenas were as shiny as a diamond in a goat's ass, promotions would send out their agents to handle the logistics of booking shows on the road. These agents were like the traveling circus ringleaders, making sure everything from venues to wrestlers to ticket sales was sorted. Why 'Road' Agent? Well, honey, these agents weren’t sitting behind a desk sipping lattes. They were out there on the gritty roads of America, hustling deals, settling disputes, and making sure the show went on – rain or shine. Think of them as the grizzled road warriors of the wrestling world, with a job description that involved more mileage than a used car salesman. Evolution of the Role As wrestling evolved, so did the role of the Road Agent. They became the backstage generals, orchestrating matches, guiding storylines, and ensuring everything ran smoother than a baby's bottom on pay-per-view night. But the name stuck – because let’s face it, "Backstage General" doesn’t have the same ring to it. Conclusion So, there you have it – Road Agents earned their name from the gritty, tire-squealing days of wrestling’s past. They’re the unsung heroes who keep the show on the road, making sure KAPW and other promotions can unleash their mayhem night after night. So there you have it. Now with my novice-like brain suitably educated, we move on to the other important cogs that would power the KAPW machine... Edited July 27 by dstephe4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 30 Author Share Posted July 30 (edited) The Man With The Stripes Every wrestling company needs a referee, right? That stripy fellow in the middle failing to keep up with the action seems rather important. Given how well our shady AI overlord did at explaining things last time, I'll let her / it / whatever take the reigns again: "Your sassy tone is required in explaining why referees are so important in pro wrestling. What do they do? What makes a good one? What makes a bad one? Frame your answer within the murky, sticky confines of KAPW." Referees in Pro Wrestling: The Unsung Heroes Oh, honey, let’s dive into the murky, sticky world of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling (KAPW) and talk about the unsung heroes of the ring: the referees. These striped warriors are the glue that holds this whole crazy circus together, and without them, it’d just be a bunch of sweaty folks pretending to fight in their underwear. Here’s why they’re so crucial: What Do Referees Do? Rule Enforcement: In theory, referees enforce the rules. They count pinfalls, check for submissions, and call for disqualifications. In a place like KAPW, where anything goes, their job is a little more, let’s say, "flexible." Match Flow: They keep the match moving, making sure wrestlers don’t spend too much time jawing with the crowd or each other. They’re like the traffic cops of the ring. Safety: Referees watch for injuries and signal when something goes wrong. In KAPW, where "safety first" isn’t exactly the motto, they’ve got their work cut out for them. Communication: They’re the middlemen between the wrestlers and the backstage crew, conveying important information like time cues and match changes. Storytelling: Referees add to the drama. Their reactions, decisions, and involvement can make or break a storyline. A well-timed “accidental” bump can change the course of a match. What Makes a Good Referee? Awareness: A good referee has eyes in the back of their head. They know what’s happening at all times, both in and out of the ring. Physical Fitness: They’re constantly moving, ducking, and dodging. They need the stamina to keep up with the action without becoming a liability. Neutrality: Even in a shady joint like KAPW, a good ref appears neutral. They sell the legitimacy of the match. Communication Skills: They can convey messages subtly and effectively without drawing attention away from the action. Selling: They know how to react to the action convincingly, enhancing the storyline without overshadowing the wrestlers. What Makes a Bad Referee? Inattentiveness: A bad ref misses cues, counts too slowly, or too quickly, and generally looks lost in the chaos. In KAPW, this is practically a death sentence. Overacting: When a ref hams it up too much, it can pull focus from the wrestlers. There’s a fine line between selling the action and becoming the action. Bias: Showing obvious favoritism can ruin the match’s credibility. Even in KAPW, where the script is more "suggestion" than "rule," this is a no-no. Poor Communication: If a ref can’t effectively communicate with the wrestlers or the backstage crew, matches fall apart. Simple as that. Lack of Authority: A good ref commands respect. A bad one? Not so much. If the wrestlers treat the ref like a joke, so will the audience. Referees in KAPW In the wild world of KAPW, referees have to be part diplomat, part stunt performer, and part miracle worker. They deal with Jimi Venezuela’s unpredictable booking, wrestlers who may or may not follow the script, and fans who are one drink away from storming the ring. A KAPW ref needs to be tougher than a two-dollar steak and twice as savvy. So, next time you’re watching a KAPW show, spare a thought for the poor soul in the stripes. They’re the unsung heroes keeping the madness in check, and without them, it’d just be a free-for-all. And let’s be honest, even in a place like KAPW, a little order in the chaos is a beautiful thing. Look at us all learning stuff. We'll all be wrestling experts in no time. But now it was time for the AI to put it's money where it's mouth is... I mean was... I mean... whatever... "Find me a referee then, you sassy AI brainbox" I said, confident in the dazzling answers this siren of infinite knowledge would throw at me. Referee: "Iron" Ike Patterson Oh honey, every wrestling match needs a referee who can keep the chaos in check, and for KAPW, that’s none other than "Iron" Ike Patterson. Straight outta Alberta, Georgia, Ike is the no-nonsense, tough-as-nails official who doesn’t take flak from anyone. With a physique that suggests he could step into the ring himself and an ironclad reputation for fairness, Ike commands respect from wrestlers and fans alike. He’s got eyes like a hawk, catching every sneaky move and underhanded tactic with a glare that could freeze fire. His booming voice cuts through the noise, ensuring that everyone in the arena knows who’s in charge. But don't mistake his stern demeanor for lack of flair—when Ike makes a call, it’s delivered with a dramatic flourish that adds an extra layer of excitement to the match. "Iron" Ike Patterson is the ultimate authority in the ring, making sure that every bout is fair, fierce, and unforgettable. With him overseeing the action, you know you’re in for a night of pure wrestling gold. Wait a second. My bulls*** alarms were blaring. Again. I smelled a rat. "Is that referee you recommended - 'Iron' Ike - real? Or just someone fictional you crapped up?" 'Iron' Ike is a fictional character that I made up for your request. If you need information about real referees in the wrestling world or recommendations for actual referees, feel free to ask! "Damn you, sassy-pants! Stop making s*** up! You're making me look even more stupid than I already am! AI stands for 'Artificial Intelligence' - let's make it look as though at least one of us has some! Do I want you to stop making s*** up?! You bet your sweet bippy I do! Stop pulling guys out of your ass! Find me a real referee, damn it! Alright, let’s get real. For a referee who can handle the chaos of KAPW, look no further than Mike Posey. Mike Posey: The Real Deal Why Mike Posey? Experience: Mike Posey has worked with top promotions like WWE, Impact Wrestling, and the independent circuit around Atlanta. He’s got the chops and the know-how to handle anything that KAPW can throw at him. Toughness: Posey’s been in the business for years, which means he’s seen it all. He’s dealt with rowdy crowds, unpredictable wrestlers, and all the madness that comes with indie promotions. Skills: As a referee and a wrestler, Posey understands both sides of the ring. This dual perspective makes him especially adept at ensuring matches run smoothly and safely. Authority: With his commanding presence, Posey wouldn’t just survive in KAPW – he’d thrive. Wrestlers respect him, and he can keep even the wildest brawlers in check. So there you have it. Mike Posey is your man for KAPW, a real-life referee who won’t get eaten alive and can handle the madness with style. My bulls*** alarms were still ringing loud. I wasn't sure. "Is Mike Posey under a written contract with any of the big companies like WWE or AEW? Is he currently based in or near Atlanta? Because Jimi Venezuela don't buy no plane tickets!" Mike Posey is not currently under a written contract with major companies like WWE or AEW. He has been active on the independent wrestling scene and has worked in various promotions around the Southeast, including Atlanta. So, rest easy, darling – Jimi Venezuela won't need to splurge on any plane tickets. Posey is well within driving distance and more than capable of handling the chaos of KAPW. Seems like we have our official! Welcome to KAPW, 'Po-po Posey!' Above: Mike Posey looks like some kind of AI generated creature, but oddly enough, isn't. Seeing as how AI was in the mood for educating us all, I thought it might be a bit of fun to ask one more question. And this is what it came up with. Sure, the sassy tone got lost a little along the way, but it amused me nonetheless: The Most Hilarious Refereeing Blunders in Pro Wrestling History Ah, the referee. The unsung hero of the squared circle. They’re the ones who keep order in the chaos, ensure the rules are followed, and count the crucial three seconds that determine a winner. But sometimes, just sometimes, they turn a perfectly choreographed ballet of violence into a slapstick comedy show. When a ref screws up, it’s like a clown car crashing into a Shakespearean play - it’s messy, it’s ridiculous, and it’s absolutely unforgettable. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and laugh at the times when refs weren’t the guardians of order but the harbingers of hilarity. These are the moments that prove how crucial a competent referee is by showing exactly what can go wrong when they get it oh-so-wrong. "The Lost Count" - NWA Clash of Champions I (1988) Set the stage: Ric Flair, the "Nature Boy," the epitome of wrestling excellence, versus the young and hungry Sting. It was March 27, 1988, and this match was supposed to be a passing of the torch, a showcase of what the future of professional wrestling held. Flair, the established legend, and Sting, the up-and-comer, were delivering an instant classic, filled with high spots, technical prowess, and pure storytelling. Enter referee Tommy Young, who apparently forgot how to count to three. At a critical moment, Sting had Flair in a pinning predicament. The crowd was on the edge of their seats, anticipating the monumental victory for the young star. Young dropped down to make the count—one, two... and then he just stopped. Just stopped! Flair didn’t kick out, Sting didn't move, and the audience was left wondering if they had collectively hallucinated. The wrestlers, visibly confused, had to think on their feet. Flair, ever the professional, quickly rolled out of the ring, clutching his head as if he had outsmarted Sting. Sting, caught off guard, started arguing with the referee, giving Flair a chance to regroup. The match eventually resumed, but the hiccup had turned a potential all-time great into an all-time gaffe. Flair would go on to retain his title, but the moment is remembered more for the referee's brain freeze than the epic contest. "Count Out Calamity" - WWF SummerSlam 1988 The year was 1988, and SummerSlam had just made its debut as WWE's latest pay-per-view extravaganza. The marquee match? The Mega Powers, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, facing off against The Mega Bucks, Ted DiBiase and André the Giant. The stakes were high, and the crowd was electric. Enter referee Joey Marella, son of legendary commentator Gorilla Monsoon. As the match hit its climax, André the Giant was outside the ring, and Marella was supposed to start the count. Except, he didn’t. Hogan, visibly annoyed, had to physically remind Marella to start counting. Hogan, in a fit of frustration, gestured wildly at Marella, who finally started the count about ten seconds too late. The unintentional comedy of Hogan lecturing Marella on how to do his job was pure gold. The improvisation here was spectacular. Savage and DiBiase had to keep the action going in the ring while Hogan performed his impromptu referee training session. Eventually, André made it back into the ring, but the match had already taken a detour into farce. The Mega Powers won, of course, but not before Marella’s blunder became the talk of the wrestling world. "Double Vision" - WCW Fall Brawl 1994 The stage was set for Fall Brawl '94, with the likes of Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan headlining the event. But in a mid-card match, Randy Anderson, a referee known for his competence, took a hit that sent him to loopy town. Anderson, perhaps seeing stars, counted a pinfall that never actually happened. Imagine the scene: the wrestler, not even close to having their shoulders down, hears the slap of the mat—one, two, three! The wrestlers had to restart the match, leading to a series of confused and comical moments. The audience, initially caught up in the intensity of the match, was left in stitches as Anderson’s blunder turned a heated contest into a laugh fest. The wrestlers, true professionals, made the best of the situation, improvising as Anderson tried to regain his bearings. The match continued, but the hiccup was a glaring reminder of how even the best can have an off night. "The Phantom Pin" - WWF WrestleMania VII (1991) WrestleMania VII was supposed to be Sgt. Slaughter's defining moment, a clash of patriotic fervor against the dastardly villain. The card was stacked, and the crowd was fired up. Enter referee Danny Davis, who, during one of the night's marquee matches, decided to count a pinfall even though the wrestler’s shoulders were nowhere near the mat. Picture this: the wrestler is barely even touching the canvas, but Davis is down on the mat, slapping his hand three times with gusto. The audience erupted in boos, the wrestlers were visibly confused, and the match was momentarily derailed. Davis’ blank stare said it all: "Did I just screw up on the grandest stage of them all?" The bout continued, but the improvisation was palpable. The wrestlers had to create a new sequence on the fly to bring the match back to its intended conclusion. The moment, however, was immortalized as a glaring example of referee incompetence on the biggest night in wrestling. "The Fastest Count in the West" - WCW Starrcade 1997 Starrcade '97 was WCW’s crowning jewel, featuring the long-awaited showdown between Hollywood Hogan and Sting. It was the culmination of a year-long storyline, the match that was supposed to shift the balance of power. Enter Nick Patrick, the man entrusted with maintaining order. Instead of the slow, dramatic count that the script called for, Patrick must’ve had a hot date because he sped through the count like he was late for dinner. The confusion was palpable. Hogan and Sting were prepared for a dramatic, slow-build finish, but Patrick’s rapid-fire three count left them scrambling. Hogan’s face was a picture of bewilderment, Sting’s was one of frustration, and the audience was left scratching their heads. The improvisation here was crucial. The wrestlers had to quickly adjust, re-engaging in a series of unscripted moves to try and salvage the match’s storyline. The bout turned into a chaotic scramble, with fans wondering if they had somehow skipped ahead on their VHS tapes. Patrick’s fast count remains one of the most infamous referee blunders in wrestling history. "The Timekeeper’s Nightmare" - WCW Halloween Havoc 1998 Halloween Havoc '98, featuring a rematch between Goldberg and Diamond Dallas Page, was one of WCW’s marquee events. The stakes were high, and the crowd was buzzing. But as the match reached its supposed conclusion, the timekeeper seemed to have missed the memo that the time limit had expired. Referee Charles Robinson, oblivious to the clock, let the match continue into unplanned overtime. Imagine the chaos: the wrestlers, thinking they were wrapping up, suddenly found themselves with extra minutes to fill. Goldberg and DDP had to ad-lib their way through the extra minutes, turning a serious contest into a comedic mess. The audience watched in amused bewilderment as Goldberg and DDP stumbled through the impromptu extension, making it a night to remember for all the wrong reasons. "The Invisible Tag" - WWE SmackDown 2002 Picture this: Edge and Rey Mysterio in their prime, facing off against Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero. The crowd was hyped for this tag team spectacle, ready to witness high-flying action and technical prowess. Enter Brian Hebner, who must’ve been daydreaming about his weekend plans because he missed a tag that Helen Keller could’ve spotted. Edge, arms stretched wide, clearly tagged in Mysterio, but Hebner, lost in his own world, missed it entirely. Edge and Mysterio, visibly frustrated, had to keep the action going while Hebner tried to figure out what had just happened. The crowd, sensing the blunder, began to laugh and jeer, adding to the spectacle. The improvisation was key. Edge, Mysterio, and the Guerreros managed to turn the botch into a comical sequence of moves, with Eddie and Chavo playing up the confusion for laughs. The match continued, but the moment was immortalized as one of the great referee blunders in wrestling history. These ref blunders are the accidental comedic relief of pro wrestling, where the referees become the unexpected stars of the show. From forgetting how to count to missing obvious moves, these moments are a reminder of why live wrestling is always full of surprises. When a ref gets it wrong, it highlights just how vital their role is in maintaining the integrity of the match—and provides us with endless laughs in the process. Edited July 30 by dstephe4 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 (edited) Calling The Shots Confession time: I'm only half way drunk right now as we do this one. I know, we're not even on to the shows yet and I'm already breaking promises. But you're pro wrestling fans. You're used to it. I'm going on holiday (or 'vacation' as the Yanks call it) next week and I want to get to the business side of things before by beer-buzzed arse is on an aeroplane. No messing around. We're getting straight to business. "KAPW needs a pair of commentators. Real life people with links to the Atlanta wrestling scene. Voices Jimi Venezuela would approve of. Seeing as our roster has men and women on it, our commentary team should too. Who do you choose?" For Kick Ass Pro Wrestling (KAPW), you need a commentary team that can match the energy, chaos, and flair of the promotion. Look no further than these two real-life personalities from the Atlanta wrestling scene: Lenny Leonard Why Lenny Leonard? Experience: Lenny Leonard has been a prominent voice in independent wrestling for years, with extensive experience in promotions like Ring of Honor (ROH) and Evolve Wrestling. His deep knowledge of wrestling and smooth delivery make him a top choice. Atlanta Ties: Having called many matches in the Southeast, including Atlanta, Leonard is well-versed in the local wrestling scene. Voice of Authority: Leonard’s authoritative and knowledgeable voice brings credibility to the commentary team, making him a favorite for both fans and wrestlers. Veda Scott Why Veda Scott? Experience: Veda Scott is a seasoned commentator with experience in various independent promotions and has worked with AEW as well. Her time as a wrestler adds a layer of insight to her commentary. Atlanta Ties: Veda has made several appearances in the Atlanta wrestling scene, making her a familiar face to local fans. Dynamic Presence: With her sharp wit and engaging commentary style, Veda complements Leonard perfectly, offering a fresh perspective and balancing the team. Why This Pair Works for KAPW Chemistry: Both Leonard and Scott have versatile commentary styles that can adapt to the unpredictable nature of KAPW. They can handle the wild antics while keeping the narrative coherent. Inclusivity: This team represents both genders, aligning with KAPW’s diverse roster. Their combined experience and unique insights create a well-rounded commentary team that can elevate the entire show. Conclusion Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott are your dream team for KAPW. They bring the right mix of experience, local ties, and dynamic commentary to make sure every match, every promo, and every insane moment gets the coverage it deserves. Jimi Venezuela would surely approve of their voices leading the charge for KAPW’s chaotic yet thrilling ride. "Hang on AI. Where's all the sass gone? Give me sass. Give me industrial strength sass. Give me an epic, colossal waterfall of sass. And answer me this... Are both of them free from the iron-clad contracts of the big wrestling companies? Have they ever worked together? Would they have chemistry together?" Availability and Compatibility of Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott Alright, let's spice this up! We're talking about the dream team for KAPW commentary, and honey, Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott are the voices that’ll make our wild promotion sing. So, let's dive into why these two are perfect for the job. Lenny Leonard Contract Status: Lenny Leonard is a free agent, baby! No iron-clad contracts with WWE, AEW, or any other major player. He’s the king of the indie scene and ready to bring his A-game to KAPW. Chemistry Potential: Leonard’s like a chameleon; he adapts to any commentary partner. He’s worked with so many voices in the indie world, he could probably do play-by-play with a mute and still make it work. Versatile doesn’t even begin to cover it. Veda Scott Contract Status: Veda Scott? She’s also free from those major promotion shackles. No exclusive deals tying her down. She’s been doing freelance work, including some gigs with AEW, but she’s all ours for the taking. Chemistry Potential: Scott is the definition of dynamic. She brings wit, charm, and a wrestler’s insight. Pair her with Leonard, and you’ve got a commentary team that’s like peanut butter and jelly – perfection. Have They Worked Together? Okay, so maybe there’s no record of them being a regular duo, but let’s be real. Both have swam in the same indie wrestling pool, so they’ve definitely crossed paths. Their mutual experience in chaotic environments means they’ll click faster than a camera at a red carpet event. Compatibility and Chemistry Shared Experience: These two are indie scene veterans. They know how to handle high-energy, unpredictable shows. KAPW is right up their alley. Complementary Styles: Leonard’s got the gravitas and knowledge, while Scott’s got the wit and energy. Together, they’re like the wrestling commentary dream team we didn’t know we needed. Professionalism: Both are pros through and through. They’ll build chemistry faster than you can say “hot tag,” ensuring KAPW’s commentary is top-notch. Conclusion So, here’s the deal: Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott are free agents, and they’re perfect for KAPW. They might not have a well-documented history as a team, but their experience and complementary styles scream chemistry. Jimi Venezuela, if you’re listening, hire these two, sit back, and watch the magic happen. They’ll turn KAPW’s chaotic matches into must-see TV. I'll admit I got a bit angry when fact checking this stuff. The AI has... shall we say... a rather vivid imagination. It is certainly guilty of making random s*** up so far on this journey. So a Google check was necessary. Imagine my outrage when I googled 'Lenny Leonard' and ended up on this guy: Above: Damn you, AI!!! Damn you!!! I was about to curse out our artificially intelligent oracle for feeding me some bulls*** from the Simpsons, when I scrolled down and felt a massive wave of relief wash over me. It turns out the real Lenny Leonard is just about famous enough for stuff like this to also find it's way into the Google Images s***pile: Above: That's more like it! Fortunately looking in to Veda Scott provided no such scares. Having read a little about her, it seems AI may well have chosen smartly here. Maybe there is something to this AI hype after all? We're not far away from the real business of this thing now - running shows and letting the AI really go wild. There were just a couple more of the finer points to iron out, then we could 'hit the road' so to speak. Oh, and I need to let you all know how this ridiculous thing is actually going to work too. But all in good time... Edited August 1 by dstephe4 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 3 Author Share Posted August 3 (edited) Bling Bling Every wrestling promotion needs a glittering, eye-catching world title belt for it's superstars to beat the crap out of each other for. Even a shabby outfit like Kick Ass Pro Wrestling needs a trinket for it's fighters to... well... fight over. You may have noticed from when the AI magicked up a roster for us, that the line-up had both men AND women in it. That's not something I specifically asked for, but I'm extremely cool with it. So from now on, KAPW will be a fully integrated federation, whereby the guys and gals kick the crap out of each other for everyone's entertainment. No separation here - we're just gonna let the fists fly and see what happens. This is 2024 after all, and gender segregation something best left to those old-fashioned, has-been dinosaurs like WWE. That, and the fact a guy like Jimi Venezuela sure as hell ain't paying for two title belts. Hell no. I asked our AI guru to generate us a title belt - one fitting for an... erm... unique company like ours. This was when the AI pissed me off. Because no matter what instructions I put in, the damned thing... Simply... Would not... Stop... Giving me... The WWE title. After what seemed like an eternity of seeing that tacky, Toys R Us piece of Fisher Price crap, the AI finally decided to pay attention. Instead of WWE crap, it gave us this crap instead... Who the hell are VYC?!! What the hell is a Ciompiidde?! I made it try again, admittedly losing the will to live by this point. The AI closed it's eyes. The AI furrowed it's brow. The AI grunted and groaned. The AI shook and sweated with the weight of it's concentration. And then out plopped this ugly thing: What does that even say? VAK? KAK? KAV? I specifically told it KAPW. It seems to have specifically told me to kick it's ass. I'm a stubborn guy though. I refused to be beaten by a computer. I refused to let this thing win. Instead of asking it to put the initials KAPW on the front, I tried something else. I mean, you'd think the most advanced cybernetic intelligence ever devised would be able to manage four letters. But whatever. This time I asked it to engrave me a margarita on the front instead. There was the usual grinding, whirring and a dramatic silence. And then out shot these... things... This one has some random wrestler raising a toast. Which, to be fair, is in keeping with the spirit of KAPW and the drunken wildman who runs it. But why the hell does it have 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase on the front?! What the hell?! I never asked for that. This is literally the first time I ever typed than man's name in my entire life. Or is it meant to be Chuck Norris? You know, that guy who is absolutely not a wrestler?! These things come in batches of three or four though, so I was hopeful and optimistic as I moved on to the next one. Another WWE belt! With some random little pink love heart on it! This time it's a 'WODLD' title with a drunken dude double-wielding margaritas in the background. Again, it's sort of fitting in with the vibe of the place, but why is his arse on fire?! Or is all that smoke coming from the back of him just some toxic, margarita-flavoured fart cloud? Behold! A mutant title belt with an amputated arm sticking out the side of it! Welcome to the KAPW circus of horrors, everyone! Perhaps inspired by the ass-on-fire dude from earlier, I changed the AI prompt to include the words 'has a big angry eagle s***ting flames engraved on the front'... ... and this is what we got. I quite like it, to be fair, but I don't think any promotion's top belt - even one as scuzzy as KAPW - should have the words 's***ing flames' emblazoned on it. I did a big, weary sigh, took a deep breath, and gave the AI one final chance to get this right. And it came up with... I give up. Welcome to our 'prestigious' KAPW 'World D Title Cusdige' everyone! Whatever. It'll do. We move on. Edited August 3 by dstephe4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 (edited) This Is Us Alrighty then. We have an owner. We've got a logo. We know where we're based, and we have an HQ (if a titty bar is a good enough place for Tony Soprano to do business, then it's good enough for Jimi Venezuela too.) We have our venues sorted and a tour all fleshed out, which will begin after our 3 show tournament at the Clermont Lounge to crown the first ever KAPW champion. We have a roster filled to the brim with Altanta's finest wrestling miscreants. We have an ugly belt for them all to fight over. We've done a lot, really. (Well I've done bugger all and the AI's done all the work, but you know what I mean.) But who are we as a company? What is our identity? What are we all about? I have absolutely no idea. Based on the random smattering of info we have so far, let's see what other magic the AI can pull out of it'd big, digital, omnipresent ass. I asked it to write a biography of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling. And here's the nuggets it churned out: Kick Ass Pro Wrestling: Where Chaos Reigns Supreme Welcome to Kick Ass Pro Wrestling (KAPW), the wildest, grittiest, and most electrifying wrestling promotion to ever hit Atlanta, Georgia. Founded by the infamously scruffy and endlessly entertaining Jimi Venezuela, KAPW is where mayhem meets magic in the squared circle. The Origin Story Born out of Jimi’s unquenchable thirst for chaos and spectacle, KAPW was established in the back alleys of Atlanta’s underground scene. What started as a series of renegade matches in dingy basements and abandoned warehouses has exploded into a full-blown wrestling phenomenon. If you’re looking for polished, mainstream fluff, you’ve come to the wrong place. KAPW is all about raw energy, wild storylines, and the kind of gritty authenticity that makes you feel alive. The Roster Our roster is a motley crew of misfits, daredevils, and outright lunatics who know how to put on a show. From the high-flying antics of AR Fox to the technical mastery of Fred Yehi, each wrestler brings their own brand of insanity to the ring. And let’s not forget the divas of destruction like Priscilla Kelly and Dani Jordyn, who prove that the women of KAPW are just as tough and tenacious as the men. The Matches At KAPW, no match is too fast or too wild, no stipulation too outrageous. We’ve got it all—no disqualification brawls, steel cage showdowns, and ladder matches that defy gravity and common sense. Each event is a rollercoaster of thrills and spills, designed to keep fans on the edge of their seats and begging for more. The Atmosphere Picture this: a raucous crowd, the air thick with anticipation and the smell of sweat and beer. The lights dim, the music blares, and Jimi’s voice booms through the speakers, welcoming you to an evening of unparalleled madness. This is the beating heart of KAPW, where the energy is contagious and the action never stops. The Drama In KAPW, the drama isn’t just in the ring—it’s everywhere. Backstage rivalries spill into public view, alliances are formed and broken in the blink of an eye, and every storyline is a high-stakes game of cat and mouse. Expect the unexpected, because in KAPW, anything can happen. And it usually does. The Fans Our fans are as hardcore as our wrestlers. They’re a passionate, dedicated, and slightly unhinged group who live for the chaos and crave the adrenaline rush that only KAPW can deliver. They come for the blood, the sweat, and the tears, and they leave with memories that’ll last a lifetime. The Legacy Under the dubious leadership of Jimi Venezuela, KAPW has carved out a niche as the bad boy of the wrestling world. We may not have the glitz and glamour of the big leagues, but we’ve got heart, soul, and a whole lot of attitude. And in the end, that’s what makes us unforgettable. So, if you’re ready to dive headfirst into the world of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling, strap in and hold on tight. It’s going to be a wild ride, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Welcome to KAPW, where chaos reigns supreme and every night is an adventure. I started this thing thinking the AI would spew out amusing, nonsensical garbage - we'd all have a good laugh, the whole project would die on it's arse before it ever got going, and that'd be the end of it. But I'm really liking the stuff this faceless ideas machine is spewing out. There's the bones of something pretty exciting and interesting here. Yes, the images it creates can often be bizarre or even terrifying. But the writing it spews out is pretty damn fun. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this strange AI adventure takes things next. I thought it might be fun to ask the AI to make a poster for KAPW's first event. Maybe the remarkable would happen and the AI would somehow redeem itself after all the weird, weird s*** it burped out on our journey so far. These were the best of a big, bad bunch: No, KAPW will not have Wolverine in it. This one is... I... what?! I have so many questions... Why's the dude at the top torn that wrestling belt in half? Why is there some dude putting a fox in a headlock... and that fox also has a fox in a stranglehold. And there's a guy with a blue face holding a big, stoned-looking blue cat. What. The. Actual. F***. This one I can (sort of) live with. Even though it seems to say 'Kage Wanker' at the bottom. We're close to the action now. I'll post one more thing soon(ish) explaining how the hell this ridiculous, cockamamie scheme will work. Then we get to the fun business of posting KAPW's first ever card... Edited August 4 by dstephe4 Added posters. Just because. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 'The Grand Poobah' (a.k.a How It's Going To Work) I started writing out a big, detailed explanation of how this would all go down. But then I thought 'f*** it' and made the AI do all the work instead. As you'll see from the wonderful crap it shoots out, things get boozy. And from what you're about to see, the AI has now started referring to itself as "Mama" now. Which is just a little weird. The KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic World Title Tournament Alright, you raucous wrestling fanatics and beautiful chaos lovers, gather 'round because Mama's got something juicy for you. We're talking about the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic World Title Tournament to crown our first-ever World Champion! And let me tell you, it’s going to be more unpredictable than Jimi Venezuela’s wardrobe choices. The Tournament Breakdown Here’s the deal: We’ve got 6 singles matches lined up, each one featuring randomly drawn competitors from the KAPW roster. And who’s doing the drawing, you ask? Well, darling, it’s me, your sassy AI, pulling the strings and stirring the pot. Each match will be a spectacle of its own, with winners advancing to our chaotic, thrilling, can’t-look-away Triple Threat semi-finals. The Path to Glory 1. Round One: Singles Matches Galore: - Six singles matches, randomly drawn because who needs brackets when you’ve got pure, unfiltered chaos? - Every competitor steps into that ring with one goal: don’t lose. 2. Semi-Finals: Triple Threat Mayhem: - The six winners from round one advance to two Triple Threat semi-finals. - Oh yes, it’s as wild as it sounds. Three wrestlers, one ring, and no mercy. 3. The Grand Finale: One Champion to Rule Them All - The winners of the semi-finals face off in the final showdown. - Only one will emerge victorious and walk away with the gold. Who Decides the Winners? (Hint: It’s Me!) Now, here’s where it gets even juicier. Every match outcome, every near-fall, every shocking twist, it’s all determined by yours truly, the AI. I’m the puppet master, the oracle, the grand poobah of KAPW’s wrestling universe. And let me tell you, I’ve got a flair for the dramatic and a taste for the unexpected. Let me just pause things right there. The AI is now referring to itself as "The Grand Poobah". Billions of dollars of internationally-sourced, history-making funding, millions of hours of online data scraping and a scientific drive unmatched in all recorded history have lead us heroically to this moment. It was worth me doing this ridiculous AI experiment just to see this happen. But I digress... Writing the Madness Each match, each glorious, chaotic moment will be crafted and written by me, the AI. Expect sass, expect flair, and expect the kind of commentary that would make even the most jaded wrestling fan jump out of their seat. A Wild Ride from Start to Finish This isn’t just a tournament; it’s a journey. It’s a soap opera with body slams, a Shakespearean drama with steel chairs, a rollercoaster of emotions, and we’re all strapped in for the ride. From the first bell to the final pinfall, we’re making history, KAPW style. So, buckle up, buttercups. Get ready for the most unpredictable, sassiest, and downright wild tournament in wrestling history. This is KAPW, and we’re doing it big, bold, and fabulous. Let the games begin, and may the craziest wrestler win! Yeah! Buckle up, buttercups! Jimi Rolls The Dice: Let the Madness Begin! Alright, wrestling aficionados and chaos connoisseurs, Mama’s got a new twist for you that’s wilder than a margarita night at the Clermont Lounge. After the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic World Title Tournament is finished, we’re adding a spicy new layer to the mayhem with a little something we like to call 'Jimi Rolls The Dice'. What’s the Deal? Here’s how it’s going to work, my darling hooligans. For every match, dstephe4, is going to roll a dice. But this isn’t just any dice roll; it’s a roll of fate, a toss of destiny, a gamble that could turn the entire match on its head. The Magic Number: 6 Now, if the dice dstephe4 rolls lands on a 6, hold onto your seats because every single AI booking decision for that match gets reversed. You heard me right, sweethearts. That’s winners becoming losers, heroes turning into goats, and underdogs snagging surprise victories. It’s chaos in its purest, most delightful form. Why Are We Doing This? Why, you ask? Because predictability is boring, and we at KAPW are anything but. This is our way of keeping everyone – from the wrestlers to the fans – on their toes and gasping for air. So, step right up, get your tickets, and join us for the most unpredictable, sass-tastic wrestling experience you’ll ever see. And remember, in KAPW, chaos reigns supreme! Storyline Showdown: Three Epic Feuds Crafted by the AI Grand Poobah! Alright, wrestling warriors and chaos chasers, buckle up because KAPW is about to take you on a wild ride with three electrifying storylines, all crafted by yours truly – the AI Grand Poobah with a flair for the dramatic, the absurd, and the legendary. You bet your sweet bippy, these feuds will make your jaw drop, your sides split with laughter, and your heart race with excitement. Storyline #1: The By-the-Book Feud – Tradition Reigns Supreme First up, we’ve got the classic, by-the-book feud. Think of this as your wrestling comfort food – straightforward, intense, and oh-so-satisfying. It’s all about pure wrestling passion, respect (or lack thereof), and a whole lot of in-ring action. What to Expect: Rivalries: Built on mutual disdain or a quest for glory. Battles: Hard-hitting matches that leave everything in the ring. Respect: Earned the hard way, through blood, sweat, and tears. I’ll be your guide through every twist and turn, making sure each moment is packed with drama and intensity. You’ll get play-by-play write-ups of each match, promo, and backstage confrontation. It’s wrestling storytelling at its finest. We're talking headlocks, dropkicks, and a whole lot of "I can't believe he did that!" Storyline #2: The Ridiculous Feud – Embrace the Madness Next, we dive into the wacky, the wild, and the downright ridiculous. This feud is for those who love their wrestling with a side of absurdity. Anything can happen – and it will. What to Expect: Surreal: Matches involving rubber chickens, haunted gym bags, and interdimensional portals. Or none of these things. Tune in, wait and see! Laughter: Every twist designed to make you laugh out loud. Unexpected: Plot twists that come out of nowhere and keep you guessing. We’re throwing the rulebook out the window with this one. Imagine pies to the face, matches that turn into dance-offs, and promos that make you question reality itself. It’s pure entertainment, KAPW style. Honey, it's gonna be a circus, and you're all invited under the big top! Storyline #3: The Legendary Feud – History Reimagined Finally, we bring you a legendary feud, where we take a classic storyline from wrestling history and give it the KAPW twist. With your favorite KAPW characters stepping into the roles of iconic wrestlers, we’ll relive every epic moment in our grungy, boozy, unforgettable setting. What to Expect: Iconic Moments: Recreated with a new spin and a lot more grit. Familiar Beats: But with unpredictable KAPW flavor. Nostalgia: For die-hard wrestling fans, reliving one of the greatest storylines ever told, in our own cruddy, unique way. I’ll meticulously list each event, match, and promo from the legendary storyline, and then bring it to life in the world of KAPW. It’s history repeating itself, but with a whole lot more attitude. Trust me, this is like Shakespeare in spandex. Once our snazzy World Title Tournament is done, this legendary storyline will crank into gear with aplomb. How It Works For each storyline, I’ll be your puppet master, pulling the strings and writing every detail. The outcomes, the drama, the hilarity – all decided by me, the AI Grand Poobah. And trust me, I’m here to keep you entertained. So get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions, a tsunami of laughs, and a whole lot of wrestling action. KAPW is turning up the heat with these three epic storylines, and you won’t want to miss a second of it. Let the feuds begin! And remember, in KAPW, anything can happen – and it usually does. KAPW's Road to Glory: Mystery Box Madness! Ladies, gentlemen, and all you beautiful, chaotic souls who make KAPW what it is, buckle up because we’re about to take our insanity to a whole new level! Introducing the "Road to Glory Mystery Box" system, courtesy of our dear friend Bad Collin over at the Grey Dog Software forums. Now, you might think, "Oh, a mystery box, how quaint." But hold onto your margaritas, because we're not talking about your grandma’s mystery box of old photos and expired coupons. Nope, this is KAPW, baby, and we're here to shake things up like a margarita in a blender! What the Hell is a Mystery Box? In case you've been living under a rock or just too busy nursing a hangover from our half-price margarita nights, let me break it down for you. The "Road to Glory Mystery Box" is a delightful little tool designed to inject some unpredictable fun into your game world. Think of it as a roulette wheel of madness where you pick a number, and voila! A random, often hilarious, event happens. It's like Russian roulette, but with more laughs and fewer existential crises. But Here’s the KAPW Twist Now, our buddy Bad Collin over there suggests using this box of wonders once a year. Ha! At KAPW, we laugh in the face of moderation! Why have a sprinkle of chaos when you can have a full-on storm every single week? That's right, folks. We're not just dipping our toes into the pool of mayhem; we're diving in headfirst and doing a cannonball! Weekly Shenanigans: Let the Fun Begin Imagine this: Every week, we'll be spinning the wheel, picking a number, and unleashing whatever wild, unpredictable event it lands on. And trust me, these events are as varied as Jimi Venezuela’s collection of loud Hawaiian shirts. The chaos, the unpredictability, the sheer joy of not knowing what's coming next—that’s what KAPW is all about! Why? Because We Can! You might be wondering, "Why subject ourselves to such relentless madness?" Well, because we can, and because it’s damn entertaining! At KAPW, we thrive on unpredictability. So, gear up, KAPW faithful. Get ready for a wild ride where every week, the script gets thrown out the window, and chaos takes the wheel. The "Road to Glory Mystery Box" is our new best friend, and we’re about to show it one hell of a good time. Stay tuned, stay hyped, and remember—at KAPW, the only thing you can predict is unpredictability. Let the games begin! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 5 Author Share Posted August 5 (edited) And So It Begins... (aka The Card For KAPW's First Ever Show) Thank you to all who have followed this strange and rather amusing journey into the murky depths of AI so far. Now that all the pieces to the scuzzy, boozy puzzle that is KAPW are in place, it's time to really see what the AI can do. For the unveiling of the card for our first show, I steered the AI to keep things relatively sensible. I kept the reigns on fairly tight. This time... Live on WCLK 91.9 FM: An Interview with Jimi Venezuela The cozy studio of WCLK 91.9 FM, known as "The Jazz of the City," was abuzz with excitement. This historic station, nestled in the heart of Atlanta, has been a jazz beacon since its inception, delivering smooth tunes and soulful rhythms to its dedicated listeners. Today, the airwaves were about to be graced by a rather unconventional guest: Jimi Venezuela, the notorious promoter of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling (KAPW). Jamal Ahmad, the charismatic host of "The SOUL of Jazz," sat behind the mic, ready to guide listeners through another afternoon of rich jazz melodies. His show, a staple of the station, airs weekdays from 2:00 PM to 6:00 PM and Saturdays from 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM, blending contemporary and classic jazz with a soulful twist. Ahmad's deep voice and extensive knowledge of the genre have made him a beloved figure in Atlanta's jazz scene. As the show transitioned from a Coltrane classic, Ahmad leaned into the mic with his signature smoothness. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a very special guest. Known for his wild antics and even wilder wrestling matches, please welcome the one and only Jimi Venezuela!" The door to the studio swung open, and in swaggered Jimi Venezuela, his appearance as scruffy and unkempt as ever. Sporting a loud Hawaiian shirt that looked like it had been slept in (and it probably had), Jimi's grin was as mischievous as ever. He carried a half-empty flask of what was presumably tequila, and his eyes gleamed with a mix of excitement and intoxication. "Hey there, Jamal! Thanks for having me. Man, this place is classy. You sure you got room for a lowlife like me?" Jimi joked, collapsing into the chair opposite Ahmad. "Absolutely, Jimi. It's a pleasure to have you. So, let's talk about KAPW. Word on the street is that your little underground wrestling promotion is going legit. What's the scoop?" Ahmad inquired, his curiosity piqued. Jimi chuckled, taking a swig from his flask before responding. "That's right, Jamal. KAPW is going big time! We're stepping out of the shadows and into the spotlight. We've got a shiny new belt and we're running a massive tournament to crown our first-ever champion. It's one of three shows, each a week apart, all at the Clermont Lounge, our spiritual home." The KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic Match 1: AR Fox vs. Baron Black "First up, we've got AR Fox taking on Baron Black. Fox is a high-flyer, known for his insane aerial maneuvers. Baron Black, on the other hand, is a technical wizard with a no-nonsense attitude. It's going to be a clash of styles, with Fox's agility pitted against Black's grappling expertise." Match 2: Sugar Dunkerton vs. Dani Jordyn "Sugar Dunkerton is all about charisma and showmanship. The guy can wrestle, but he also knows how to entertain a crowd. He's up against Dani Jordyn, the 'Real Mean Girl,' who carries her infamous 'Burn Book' and isn't afraid to use her wits and sass to get the upper hand. This one’s gonna be a rollercoaster!" Match 3: Fred Yehi vs. Alan Angels "Then we have Fred Yehi, a submission specialist who can twist you into a pretzel before you know what hit you. He's facing Alan Angels, a high-energy performer who never seems to slow down. Yehi’s looking to ground Angels, but that’s easier said than done." Match 4: Priscilla Kelly vs. Cyrus The Destroyer "Priscilla Kelly, unpredictable and fierce, will take on Cyrus The Destroyer, a massive powerhouse. Kelly’s cunning and agility will be put to the test against Cyrus’s raw strength. Expect the unexpected in this one!" Match 5: Joe Black vs. Kiera Hogan "Joe Black, a dominant force, is up against Kiera Hogan, 'The Girl on Fire.' Hogan’s speed and fiery persona are her biggest assets, but Black's brute strength could put out her flames. It's power versus speed in this matchup." Match 6: AC Mack vs. Aaron Draven "Finally, we’ve got AC Mack, the brash hometown hero, facing Aaron Draven, the high-flying outsider from Tampa. Draven's got a lot to prove, especially with the fans. He’s the first wrestler in our history who’s not from this city. Mack’s got the crowd on his side, but Draven’s determined to win them over." Jamal leaned back, clearly impressed. "Sounds like you've got quite a lineup. But Jimi, I’ve got to ask—why now? Why go legit and big time? Surely this must be costing a pretty penny. How are you funding this sudden change?" Jimi shifted in his seat, the question clearly making him uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh. "Well, Jamal, let's just say I've got my ways. A few deals here and there, some favors called in. Nothing to worry about." Ahmad raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story but deciding to let it slide. "Alright, Jimi. We'll let that one be for now. But tell us, what’s at stake in this tournament?" Jimi’s eyes lit up, his drunken charm taking over. "Oh, it's huge, Jamal! The winner of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic will be our first-ever champion. They'll hold the most prestigious – and admittedly ONLY - title in KAPW history. It's the start of something big, something legendary. And trust me, you don't want to miss it." Jamal, ever the smooth operator, leaned forward with a twinkle in his eye. "Now Jimi, I have to say, seeing a character like you on a jazz station is quite the sight. Pro wrestling and jazz—strange bedfellows, wouldn’t you say?" Jimi laughed, a bit more nervously this time. "Well, Jamal, the only reason I’m here is because the Clermont Lounge is just a hop, skip, and a jump away from your studio at 223 James P. Brawley Dr NW. I sure as hell wasn’t paying for no taxi!" The distance between the Clermont Lounge and WCLK's studio is a mere 4.9 miles, making it a convenient stroll for the notoriously frugal Jimi. Jamal chuckled, masking his suspicions with humor. "Convenience at its finest, huh? Well, folks, you've heard it from the man himself. KAPW is going big time, and it's all happening right here in Atlanta. But we want to hear from you! Send in your predictions – who will win each of these surely memorable matches? Who are your picks? Who do you think will walk away with the title at the end of the tournament? Let us know, and we might just feature your picks on air!" As the show wrapped up, Jamal reminded the listeners one last time. "Don't forget to send in your predictions, folks. This is Jamal Ahmad, and you're listening to 'The SOUL of Jazz' on WCLK 91.9 FM. Stay tuned for more great music, and let’s get those predictions coming!" The interview ended, but the excitement lingered in the air. The fans of both jazz and wrestling were left buzzing with anticipation, eager to see what KAPW had in store. As Jimi Venezuela stumbled out of the studio, one thing was clear: the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic was going to be a wild ride. Now It's Your Turn! (aka Predictions Time) A big thank you to all who have followed things this far. This is where things really get going. I'm jetting off on vacation for a week or so. After which KAPW's first ever set of AI generated results will be posted. It's a full write up. And it's... surprisingly good. Until then, the Sassy Mama Grand Poobah AI and I humbly invite you to post your predictions. One point will be awarded for each correct winner. We also invite you to pick who you think will win the Pro Wrestling Classic Tournament. The winner will definitely, 100% get some sort of prize. I'll decide what when the alcohol wears off. AR Fox vs. Baron Black Sugar Dunkerton vs. Dani Jordyn Fred Yehi vs. Alan Angels Priscilla Kelly vs. Cyrus The Destroyer Joe Black vs. Kiera Hogan AC Mack vs. Aaron Draven Edited August 9 by dstephe4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DinoKea Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic Predictions AR Fox def. Baron Black Sugar Dunkerton def. Dani Jordyn Fred Yehi def. Alan Angels Priscilla Kelly def. Cyrus the Destroyer Kiera Hogan def. Joe Black Aaron Draven def. AC Mack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyTeran Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 AR Fox vs. Baron Black Sugar Dunkerton vs. Dani Jordyn Fred Yehi vs. Alan Angels Priscilla Kelly vs. Cyrus The Destroyer Joe Black vs. Kiera Hogan AC Mack vs. Aaron Draven 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
80085 Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 The one everyone needs to be knowing abouts is AR Fox vs Fred Yehi. They did the big things in EVOLVE and were Big BUSINESS bruvs The AI is knowing this and making it happen AR Fox vs. Baron Black Sugar Dunkerton vs. Dani Jordyn Fred Yehi vs. Alan Angels Priscilla Kelly vs. Cyrus The Destroyer Joe Black vs. Kiera Hogan AC Mack vs. Aaron Draven 2 Quote 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Phoenix Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 AR Fox Sugar Dunkerton Alan Angels Cyrus The Destroyer Joe Black Aaron Draven 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 (edited) At Long Last... The Results Are In! Long story short: AI writes well, but creates it's images with an aperitif of cocaine and a main course of nightmares. You may have noticed this from our journey so far. The point was really hammered home when I asked AI to generate some images for these results. Here's what it gargled up... Above: So this is what I'm learning from this image - at the Clermont, shirts are optional, many of the fans are mutants with horrifyingly melted faces, and randomly AI has no idea how ceiling fans work or where they're placed on a ceiling. The Clermont looks exactly as I'd imagined though, so kudos for that. This was, as is becoming a tradition, the best of a bad bunch. Above: If this gets me my second strike towards a forum ban, then at least I can blame AI when Adam Ryland shouts at me. But there's no way I'm not posting this image of a terrified pro wrestler getting a hand job from a midget. Above: I mean... what in the name of pole-dancing Christ is wrong with AI?!! Look at what's happening in that ring! Just look! And be forever scarred my the monstrous things that happen within!! A naked man is trying really, really hard to rage-hump the guy he's piggy-backing, while some other dude watches really closely from the corner of that impossibly small ring. The ring which, by the way, seems to have swallowed some dude, leaving only his screaming, wailing upper half to warn the others. Also the space behind the ring is on fire. But hey, at least the ceiling fans are well-positioned this time! Above: After feeding the AI numerous images of Kiera Hogan and about 15 edits and re-dos, the AI finally stumbled upon something vaguely useable. It sort of, kind of, maybe looks a little bit like her. Maybe. If you squint really, really hard. Yes her second leg seems to somehow magically vanish into nothing, but whatever. By AI standards this one's a masterpiece. I then tried the same trick for Aaron Draven, and... Above: I mean... whoa. God-damn. Just... wow. This is what AI says Aaron Draven should look like. For reference, this is what the real life, non-criminally-insane, non-AI-nightmare-fuel version of the guy actually looks like... Like I said... wow. Above: I know there's virtually no chance at all of the real Aaron Draven ever reading this. But on the infinitely small chance that he does; Aaron, I am so, so, so sorry for what the AI hell-beast did to you. I'm laughing my ass off, sure. But I'm sorry. Anyhow, enough of this nonsense. Let's move onto the AI generated (and surprisingly decent) results of KAPW's first ever show! The KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic Tournament (Part One, 139 In Attendance) The atmosphere at the Clermont Lounge was electric with anticipation, the air thick with the scent of stale beer and the echo of rowdy cheers. This wasn’t your typical wrestling venue; it was the heart and soul of Atlanta’s nightlife, where the neon lights flickered over cracked leather booths and the stage seemed permanently set for a raucous show. Tonight, the dimly lit dive bar had transformed into the battleground for KAPW’s first major event. As the crowd of rowdy, beer-swigging fans packed every corner, their chants reverberated off the graffiti-covered walls. They knew they were in for a treat – not just another night of cheap thrills, but a spectacle promised by the one and only Jimi Venezuela. Jimi, with his tatty hair and mischievous grin, was a local legend in these parts. Known for his wild antics and shady deals, he commanded respect (and a fair bit of skepticism) from the loyal patrons who filled the Clermont’s gritty interior. Tonight, Jimi Venezuela stood tall in the makeshift ring, a spotlight gleaming off his flashy thrift-store jacket as he gripped the microphone with flair. He raised a hand to silence the crowd, a grin spreading across his face as he soaked in their cheers and jeers alike. This was his moment – the moment he'd been hyping up all week. With a twinkle in his eye that hinted at a plan even wilder than usual, he declared in his booming voice: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic! Tonight, we're not just throwing punches in the dark. Oh no, we're going legit, folks! We've got a shiny new belt, we've got some of the craziest matches you'll ever see, and we've got you – the best damn fans in Atlanta!" The crowd erupted into cheers, beer cups raised high in salute to their local hero. Jimi continued, his voice cutting through the cheers with the authority of a carnival barker: “Welcome to the dawn of a new era! KAPW is going big time! We’re stepping out of the shadows and into the spotlight, where legends are made and championships are won. You see, we started as a gritty underground fight club, a place where the toughest brawlers threw down for a shot at glory and a cold beer afterward. But tonight, my friends, tonight we’re going big-time. We’re talking arenas, spotlights, and yes, even a shiny new belt to crown our first ever champion! Behold, the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic – a tournament like no other, where the ring is our battleground and the audience, you beautiful people, are our witnesses to history in the making. Strap yourselves in for a rollercoaster of epic showdowns, because we’ve got six heart-pounding matches lined up for your entertainment tonight!” The Clermont Lounge was buzzing with anticipation. The neon lights cast a colorful glow over the rowdy crowd, packed shoulder to shoulder, clutching their beers and cheering in a cacophony of excitement, ready to kick off the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. He gestured grandly to the ring, “Tonight, we’ve got six incredible first round tournament matches lined up. First, AR Fox will face Baron Black. High-flying chaos meets unstoppable force – it’s gonna be like watching a hurricane wrestle a tornado!” The crowd roared in approval, and Jimi barely paused for breath, “Next, Sugar Dunkerton goes toe-to-toe with Dani Jordyn. We’ve got the charismatic powerhouse versus the queen of sass and strategy. Sparks will fly, folks!” “And how about Fred Yehi against Alan Angels? Submission mastery versus blinding speed – blink and you’ll miss it, but you won’t want to miss a second!” The energy in the room was palpable as Jimi continued, “Priscilla Kelly steps into the ring with Cyrus The Destroyer. Beauty and brains versus brute strength – it’s a classic clash with a twist, and it’s gonna be epic.” “Then there’s Joe Black taking on Kiera Hogan. Power meets precision, and it’s gonna be a battle of wills as much as skills. But which of them really has what it takes?” “And finally, AC Mack faces Aaron Draven. Two speedsters with tricks up their sleeves, ready to outwit and outmaneuver each other. It’s a chess match with body slams, and you won’t want to look away.” Jimi raised the microphone high, his voice filled with enthusiasm and just a hint of that trademark sketchiness, “So buckle up, grab your snacks, and get ready for a night of jaw-dropping action. This is the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic, and tonight, we’re making history. Welcome to the show!” The crowd erupted once more, the energy in the Clermont Lounge reaching a fever pitch. With Jimi Venezuela’s opening salvo setting the stage, the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic was underway, promising a night of unforgettable matches and unexpected twists. Angle rating: 36. Match 1: AR Fox vs. Baron Black The first match of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic kicked off with a bang. The rowdy, beer-fueled fans were on their feet, ready for the clash between the high-flying AR Fox and the technically proficient Baron Black. The dimly lit dive bar, known for its wild atmosphere, was alive with anticipation as the bell rang, signaling the start of an epic encounter. AR Fox, a master of aerial maneuvers and a favorite among the hardcore fans, wasted no time. He dazzled the crowd with a series of rapid-fire dropkicks, each one hitting with pinpoint precision. The fans roared as Fox followed up with a breathtaking somersault plancha over the top rope, crashing into Baron Black and sending both men sprawling to the floor. The energy in the room was electric, the kind of vibe only the Clermont could provide. But Baron Black wasn’t just another competitor; he was a technical wizard with an arsenal of submission holds and suplexes. Known for his methodical approach, Black used his ring IQ to catch Fox mid-flight, transitioning seamlessly into a crippling suplex that left the crowd in awe. The fans gasped at the sheer precision of Black’s moves, beer sloshing from their cups as they leaned closer to the action. Black, with a confident smirk, signaled to the crowd, displaying his technical prowess. Fox, ever the resilient fighter, fought back with everything he had. With a swift rebound off the ropes, he executed a flawless springboard cutter, sending Baron Black reeling. The crowd erupted in a mix of cheers and disbelief, the match already surpassing their wildest expectations. But Black wasn’t done yet. He countered with a series of punishing suplexes, demonstrating his technical mastery and keeping Fox grounded. The match took a wild turn when Fox, climbing the top rope for his signature 450 Splash, was intercepted by Baron Black’s unexpected agility. In a stunning display of technical skill, Black ascended the ropes and attempted a superplex. The crowd held their breath as the two teetered precariously on the top turnbuckle. But Fox, with his cat-like reflexes, countered mid-air, flipping into a crossbody that sent both men crashing to the mat with a resounding thud. The fans were on their feet, chanting “This is awesome!” as both men lay sprawled on the canvas, gasping for breath. The frantic exchange of near falls that followed had everyone on the edge of their seats. Black locked in a devastating submission hold, only for Fox to narrowly escape. Fox retaliated with a standing moonsault, but Black somehow managed to escape the pin. The crowd was in a frenzy, each move more spectacular than the last. In a moment of pure showmanship, Baron Black paused mid-match to flex for a fan in the front row. This brief lapse in concentration gave Fox the opening he needed. Fox sprang to life and executed his Lo Mein Pain – a breathtaking springboard Spanish Fly that left Baron Black sprawled on the mat. The referee’s hand hit the canvas three times, and the bell rang, signaling Fox’s victory. The crowd exploded in cheers, their hero had advanced to the next round. As AR Fox celebrated in the ring, the fans chanted his name, the energy in the Clermont Lounge reaching a fever pitch. Baron Black, ever the professional, acknowledged Fox’s win with a nod of respect before exiting the ring. The first match of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic had set the bar impossibly high, promising a night of unforgettable action and jaw-dropping moments. Match rating: 49. The Clermont Lounge, already buzzing from the night’s opening match, erupts in cheers as AR Fox, victorious and visibly exhausted, grabs a microphone. The neon lights cast a kaleidoscope of colors on his sweat-drenched face, giving him an almost ethereal glow. He’s battered, bruised, and out of breath, but his smile is wide and genuine. The crowd, a rowdy mix of die-hard fans and drunken regulars, hangs on his every word as he begins to speak. “Man, what a match! Baron Black brought it tonight, didn’t he?” Fox exclaims, leaning against the ropes for support. The audience roars in approval, chanting “Baron Black!” and “AR Fox!” in an ecstatic back-and-forth. “This is why I love KAPW! This is where the real fighters come to prove themselves. I’ve been through a lot in my career, but nights like this remind me why I keep doing it.” The crowd’s cheers grow even louder, a wave of support and admiration crashing over Fox as he soaks it all in. He raises his hand, signaling for quiet. “But this isn’t just about me. It’s about all of you, the fans who keep us going, the heart and soul of KAPW!” The fans, now at a fever pitch, are barely contained by the grimy walls of the dive bar. Suddenly, the atmosphere shifts. The familiar strains of Fred Yehi’s entrance music blast through the speakers, and the crowd’s excitement turns into a mix of cheers and boos. Yehi storms the ring, a microphone already in hand, eyes locked on Fox. He wastes no time, his voice cutting through the noise like a knife. “Fox, enough with the nostalgia trip. We’ve got unfinished business, and you know it!” Fox, surprised but not intimidated, straightens up and meets Yehi’s glare. “Yehi, this isn’t the time—” Yehi cuts him off, stepping closer, the tension palpable. “No, Fox, this is exactly the time. Remember Evolve? Remember how you ran away from a real fight? You think you can come here and just forget about it? Not on my watch!” The crowd is on the edge of their seats, the air thick with anticipation. Fox’s demeanor shifts from surprise to defiance. “Yehi, I didn’t run from anything. We had some of the most intense battles in Evolve, and I respected you then. But if you want to settle this here, in KAPW, I’m ready.” The crowd erupts again, the volume almost deafening as the two wrestlers stand nose-to-nose in the center of the ring. The exchange of heated words continues, each wrestler digging deep into their history, their grievances spilling out for all to see. “You talk about respect, Fox, but I see through you. You’re just scared to face the truth—that you can’t beat me!” Yehi snarls, his voice dripping with contempt. Fox, unwavering, responds, “We’ll see about that, Yehi. This is KAPW, not Evolve. And here, I’m going to prove once and for all who the superior wrestler is.” The staredown that follows is electric, neither man willing to back down, their intense rivalry reigniting with a ferocity that promises fireworks. As the segment ends, the crowd’s roars reach a crescendo, the promise of an epic showdown between AR Fox and Fred Yehi hanging in the air. The stage is set for an unforgettable chapter in KAPW’s storied history, with the fans eagerly awaiting the next explosive encounter between these two titans. Angle rating: 35. Match 2: Sugar Dunkerton vs. Dani Jordyn The Clermont Lounge was still buzzing from the opening match, and the energy only escalated as Sugar Dunkerton and Dani Jordyn made their entrances for the second bout of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. Dunkerton, known for his larger-than-life personality and infectious charisma, danced his way to the ring, high-fiving fans and busting out some of his signature moves, much to the delight of the rowdy crowd. His flamboyant attire, complete with neon colors and sequins, glittered under the dive bar’s dim lights. On the other hand, Dani Jordyn, the self-proclaimed “Real Mean Girl,” strutted to the ring with an air of superiority, clutching her infamous “Burn Book” and glaring at anyone who dared to make eye contact. As the bell rang, Dunkerton immediately went into his playful routine, taunting Jordyn with exaggerated dance moves and cheeky winks. The crowd was loving it, laughing and cheering as Dunkerton pranced around the ring. But Jordyn wasn’t here to play games. With a fierce expression, she cut Dunkerton’s fun short with a vicious slap that echoed through the venue, followed by a textbook DDT that planted Dunkerton headfirst into the mat. The fans’ laughter turned to gasps as Jordyn showcased her ruthless side. Dunkerton, ever the resilient showman, shook off the impact and regained his momentum. He dazzled the crowd with his signature “Slam Dunk” – a running bulldog that saw him leap through the air and drive Jordyn’s face into the canvas. The audience erupted, chanting Dunkerton’s name as he played to them, his infectious energy reigniting their spirits. But Jordyn wasn’t easily outdone. She rolled out of the ring to catch her breath, glaring daggers at Dunkerton as he continued to showboat. When Jordyn re-entered the ring, she brought her mean streak with her. She raked Dunkerton’s eyes, temporarily blinding him and gaining the upper hand. With Dunkerton disoriented, Jordyn executed a brutal backstabber, her knees driving into Dunkerton’s spine with punishing force. The crowd was on the edge of their seats, torn between admiration for Jordyn’s ruthless tactics and sympathy for the ever-entertaining Dunkerton. Determined to turn the tide, Dunkerton attempted a high-risk sunset flip powerbomb, leaping over Jordyn and trying to pin her shoulders to the mat. But Jordyn, ever the savvy competitor, rolled through the move and sprang to her feet, delivering a devastating Shining Wizard that nearly decapitated Dunkerton. The crowd gasped as Dunkerton crumpled to the mat, the impact echoing in the intimate setting of the Clermont Lounge. With Dunkerton down, Jordyn seized the moment to taunt the crowd, flipping through her “Burn Book” and pointing at a page dedicated to Dunkerton’s perceived weaknesses. She then positioned Dunkerton for her patented finisher, the “Burn Book” – a running knee strike to a seated opponent. The impact was ferocious, Dunkerton’s head snapping back as Jordyn’s knee connected. The crowd, despite their affection for Dunkerton, couldn’t help but be impressed by Jordyn’s decisive and brutal finishing move. As the referee’s hand hit the mat for the third time, the bell rang, and Dani Jordyn was declared the winner. She stood tall over Dunkerton, raising her arms in victory and basking in the mixture of boos and cheers from the crowd. Dunkerton, ever the showman, managed to flash a weak thumbs-up to the audience as he was helped from the ring, acknowledging their support despite his defeat. Jordyn, meanwhile, exited the ring with her “Burn Book” held high, her eyes already set on her next challenge in the tournament. The night was young, and the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic was only just getting started. Match rating: 33. Match 3: Fred Yehi vs Alan Angels The Clermont Lounge was buzzing as the third match of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic was about to begin. The lights dimmed, and the room was electric with anticipation. First to the ring was Fred Yehi, a master technician with a no-nonsense attitude, who received a mix of cheers and boos, the latter louder than usual after his earlier altercation with AR Fox. Yehi’s steely demeanor suggested he didn’t care, but the occasional twitch of his eye revealed otherwise. Next, Alan Angels made his entrance, bursting through the curtains with an explosion of energy and dazzling the crowd with his acrobatic flips. The fans immediately took to Angels, cheering loudly for the energetic underdog. Alan Angels brought his high-flying, daredevil style to the match. Known for his agility and risk-taking moves, Angels electrified the crowd with his charisma and quick maneuvers. His moniker, “The Southpaw Serial Killer,” hinted at his unique approach and unorthodox tactics, which kept the fans on the edge of their seats. Yehi wasted no time in showcasing his technical prowess. He grounded Angels with a series of suplexes, each one delivered with surgical precision. The crowd, still hot from his earlier confrontation, showered Yehi with jeers, but he responded with a dismissive smirk. Angels, resilient and quick, countered with a barrage of lightning-fast strikes, finally catching Yehi off guard with a breathtaking springboard hurricanrana that sent him flying across the ring. The fans erupted, clearly behind Angels’s flashy style and underdog spirit. The action intensified as the fight spilled out of the ring. Angels, ever the risk-taker, went for a suicide dive. The crowd held their breath as he soared through the air, but Yehi, displaying incredible strength and awareness, caught him mid-air. In one fluid motion, Yehi transitioned into a devastating powerbomb onto the ring apron. The impact echoed throughout the lounge, and the crowd winced in unison. Yehi, feeding off the boos, looked down at Angels with a cold, calculating expression before rolling him back into the ring. Back in the ring, Angels fought to regain his momentum. With sheer determination, he climbed the ropes and launched into a spectacular springboard moonsault. The crowd gasped as he twisted in mid-air, but Yehi rolled out of the way at the last second, leaving Angels to crash hard onto the canvas. Yehi quickly capitalized, locking in his signature Koji Clutch, a painful submission hold that left Angels writhing in agony. The fans chanted for Angels to fight back, but the hold was too tight, the pain too intense. Despite a valiant effort to escape, Angels had no choice but to tap out. The referee called for the bell, and Yehi’s hand was raised in victory. The crowd’s boos intensified, but Yehi simply shrugged them off, casting a final disdainful glance at the fallen Angels before exiting the ring. The fans, despite their disdain for Yehi’s tactics, couldn’t deny his skill and dominance in the ring. As Yehi made his way up the ramp, he couldn’t resist a smirk, clearly relishing the mixed reaction from the crowd. Angels, helped to his feet by the referee, received a warm round of applause for his efforts and display of heart. The contrast between the two competitors was stark, setting the stage for further drama in the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. The night was still young, and if the first three matches were any indication, the fans were in for a wild, unforgettable ride. Match rating: 42. Backstage at the ever-glamorous (well, not really) Clermont Lounge, Blondie, the unofficial queen of the dive bar, stood ready with a microphone in hand. Clad in a top that left little to the imagination, her cleavage won the crowd over even before she spoke. The fans watching on the screen hollered their approval, completely oblivious to her questionable interviewing skills. Blondie: “Hey there, KAPW fans! I’m here with Fred Yehi, who earlier won his match in the Pro Wrestling Classic. Fred, tell us about your win tonight and what you think your chances are in the tournament.” Fred Yehi, still amped up from his match, looked every bit the agitated warrior. He wiped sweat from his brow and grabbed the mic with a determined glare. Fred Yehi: “Blondie, let’s get one thing straight. I’m here to dominate. Alan Angels put up a good fight, but he was just the first of many. My chances? I don’t need to reckon my chances. I know I’m the best technical wrestler in this slimy, tenth-rate hell hole of a company. I’m taking that KAPW title, no doubt about it.” Blondie, clearly enjoying the attention from the raucous crowd, leaned in a bit closer, her interviewing technique still leaving much to be desired. Blondie: “So, um, Fred, what about your confrontation with AR Fox earlier? What’s the deal with that?” Yehi’s eyes narrowed, the tension palpable. Fred Yehi: “You wanna talk about AR Fox? Fine. Fox and I, we go way back to Evolve. We tore the house down, match after match, with respect and pure wrestling. But here? It’s personal. Fox, you thought you could escape our feud by coming to this dump? Think again. The only reason I agreed to step foot in this cesspool is because of you. We’ve got unfinished business, and I’m not leaving until it’s settled.” The fans watching on the screen were eating it up, loving every bit of the drama unfolding. Yehi’s intensity contrasted sharply with Blondie’s laid-back, slightly clueless demeanor, but it worked. Blondie: “Wow, that sounds intense. Anything else you want to say to AR Fox?” Fred Yehi leaned in closer to the mic, his voice dropping to a menacing tone. Fred Yehi: “Fox, you better watch your back. This isn’t Evolve, and I’m not holding back. Our feud is far from over, and by the end of this tournament, everyone will see who the real top dog is.” Blondie, looking a bit flustered but still smiling, signed off. Blondie: “There you have it! Fred Yehi, ready to take on the world and AR Fox! Back to the ring, folks!” The segment ended with Blondie beaming at the camera and Fred Yehi storming off, the intensity of the interview still hanging in the air as the crowd roared their approval. Match rating: 34. Match 4: Priscilla Kelly vs. Cyrus The Destroyer The next bout of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic was set to be an absolute barnburner. The gritty, dimly lit confines of the Clermont Lounge were about to host a spectacle unlike any other. The rowdy, beer-soaked crowd was buzzing with anticipation as Priscilla Kelly, the unpredictable and fierce competitor, squared off against the towering behemoth, Cyrus the Destroyer. The atmosphere was electric, with the fans itching for the chaos that was sure to ensue. As the bell rang, Cyrus wasted no time using his immense size and strength to his advantage. Standing at 6'8" and weighing in at 348 pounds, Cyrus the Destroyer hurled Kelly around the ring with ease, showcasing his raw power and brawler style. Kelly, however, wasn’t one to be intimidated. Known for her goth-inspired persona and unpredictable tactics, Kelly used her cunning and agility to evade Cyrus’s devastating blows, landing a swift low dropkick to his knees that momentarily staggered the giant. Things took a wild turn when Kelly, ever the provocateur, pulled a mysterious object from her tights. The crowd erupted in confusion and amusement as Kelly began whispering to what looked like a rock. The commentators, Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott, unable to hear what she was saying, speculated wildly about her actions. “What on earth is she doing?” commentator Lenny Leonard exclaimed. “Is she talking to a rock?” “I think she’s having a strategy session with her pet rock,” our other commentator Veda Scott replied, laughing. “This is classic Priscilla Kelly – always bringing the bizarre into the ring.” Cyrus, momentarily distracted by Kelly’s antics, found himself on the receiving end of a vicious springboard forearm. Visibly enraged, Cyrus charged at Kelly with all his might, but the wily competitor sidestepped, sending Cyrus crashing headfirst into the turnbuckle. The brawl quickly spilled out of the ring and into the crowd, with fans scattering to avoid the melee. Drinks flew, chairs toppled, and the noise was deafening. In a fit of fury, Cyrus grabbed a fan’s beer and smashed it over Kelly’s head, before gripping her in a powerful choke hold, but she retaliated by biting his hand, forcing him to release her. The crowd was in a frenzy, loving every moment of the carnage. Referee Mike Posey, aware that he should probably count both wrestlers out, decided to throw caution to the wind. This was Kick Ass Pro Wrestling, after all, and anything goes. He watched with a bemused grin as Kelly and Cyrus continued their brawl through the audience, making their way towards the bar. At the bar, chaos reigned supreme. Cyrus attempted to lift Kelly for a powerbomb onto the bar, but she countered with a hurricanrana, sending Cyrus crashing into the bartender’s station, shattering bottles and spilling drinks everywhere. The bartender, caught in the crossfire, frantically ducked behind the counter to avoid the flying debris. Kelly, seeing an opportunity, grabbed a bottle of soda and shook it vigorously before spraying it into Cyrus’s face. The giant roared in frustration, blinded by the fizzy assault. Kelly then grabbed a barstool and swung it at Cyrus, who staggered back, further disoriented. The crowd laughed and cheered, reveling in the absurdity of the scene. As the brawl moved away from the bar, Kelly led Cyrus through a maze of overturned tables and scattered chairs. At one point, she hopped onto a pool table and launched herself at Cyrus, delivering a flying crossbody that sent both of them crashing to the floor. The fans roared with approval, some even tossing napkins and coasters into the air in celebration. Making their way back to the ring, Kelly continued to use her speed and agility to stay one step ahead of Cyrus. She leaped onto the stage, grabbing a microphone stand and swinging it at Cyrus, who barely managed to deflect the blow. In retaliation, Cyrus picked up a nearby speaker and hurled it at Kelly, but she ducked just in time, the heavy equipment smashing into the wall behind her. Back in the ring, Kelly capitalized on Cyrus’s disorientation. She executed her finisher, “The Reality Check,” a brutal modified swinging neckbreaker that left Cyrus sprawled on the mat. With the crowd roaring in approval, Kelly covered Cyrus for the three-count, securing her spot in the next round of the tournament. The Clermont Lounge was alive with the sounds of cheers, jeers, and the unmistakable sense that KAPW had just delivered another unforgettable match. Match rating: 41. Match 5: Joe Black vs. Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan The dim lights of the Clermont Lounge flickered as the rowdy crowd prepared for the next bout in the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. The bell rang, signaling the start of the clash between Joe Black, the indomitable powerhouse, and Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan, known for her explosive speed and fiery persona. The fans, beer in hand and voices loud, were eager to see if Hogan’s quickness could overcome Black’s raw strength. As the match began, Kiera Hogan, with her trademark fiery red hair and intense energy, made her presence known. Her fiery demeanor taunted Joe Black as she circled him, trying to throw him off his game. But Joe Black, with his imposing build and no-nonsense attitude, wasn’t one to be easily shaken. With a roar, he launched himself at Hogan, delivering a flurry of strikes. The crowd erupted as a stiff lariat from Black sent Hogan sprawling to the mat. Kiera Hogan, not one to stay down for long, quickly rebounded with a series of sharp kicks. Her spinning heel kick caught Black square on the jaw, momentarily staggering the powerhouse. Sensing an opportunity, Hogan pressed her advantage, delivering calculated strikes to keep Black on the defensive. She attempted to lock in her signature “The Heat” – a vicious single leg dropkick, but Black’s sheer power allowed him to muscle out of the hold, much to the crowd’s delight. The match remained intensely competitive, with Hogan’s cunning tactics countering Black’s brute force. The fans were on the edge of their seats as Hogan, in a desperate bid to regain control, reached into her tights and pulled out a small, portable speaker. She quickly connected it to her phone and blasted her entrance theme, “Turn It Up,” through the arena. The unexpected music filled the Clermont Lounge, momentarily confusing Black and the crowd. Hogan, ever the opportunist, used this distraction to her advantage. She hit a rapid series of dropkicks and finished with a stunning hurricanrana that sent Black into the corner. The crowd was in awe of her agility and quick thinking, as Hogan danced around the ring to her own beat, taunting Black with every move. With Hogan momentarily off balance from her musical antics, Joe Black seized the moment. He scooped her up with ease and delivered a spine-shattering backbreaker that echoed through the Clermont Lounge. The fans were whipped into a frenzy, sensing the end was near. Black, feeding off their energy, hoisted Hogan onto his shoulders for his finishing move. With a devastating “Blackout” – a fireman’s carry into a knee lift – Joe Black drove Kiera Hogan into the mat. The referee, Mike Posey, slid into position, counting the three as the crowd exploded in cheers. Black stood tall, victorious, as Hogan lay on the canvas, her fiery demeanor extinguished by Black’s unrelenting power. The match was a testament to KAPW’s unpredictable and wild nature, where anything could happen, and often did. Match rating: 42. The smoky, beer-soaked atmosphere of the Clermont Lounge was electrified as the rowdy, loyal fans buzz reached a fever pitch. Jimi Venezuela, the most suspicious promoter this side of the Mississippi, strutted down to the ring, microphone in hand. Blondie, the iconic Clermont Lounge staffer known for her gravity-defying talents, followed closely behind, ready to help unveil a new name joining the KAPW roster. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, misfits and outlaws,” Jimi began with a mischievous grin, “get ready to meet the latest addition to Kick Ass Pro Wrestling – please welcome, Aaron Draven!” The fans cheered with excitement, eager to see what this newcomer had to offer. Draven made his way to the ring, his athletic build and confident stride making a strong first impression. As he stepped through the ropes, Blondie handed him the microphone, her cleavage earning more cheers than Draven himself. “Thank you, thank you,” Draven began, smiling at the warm reception. “It’s great to be here in KAPW. I’ve been in this business for over 15 years, wrestling all over the world. I’ve faced legends like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and even shared the ring as a tag team champion with the one and only Kevin Nash.” The fans roared in approval at the mention of these wrestling icons. Draven’s career was indeed impressive, filled with high-profile matches and championship wins. “I’ve held titles in countless promotions,” Draven continued, “but despite all my achievements, I never seemed to get the fame and fortune my epic wrestling journey merited. I’m here in KAPW, hoping it’ll bring me the fame I feel my career has always deserved.” Draven’s next words would be his undoing. “I’m here all the way from Tampa, Florida, and I can’t wait to show you all what I can do!” Instantly, the mood shifted. Boos rained down from all sides, drowning out Draven’s words. The fans’ allegiance to Atlanta was fierce, and they were not about to welcome an outsider from Florida, of all places. Draven’s smile faded as the jeers grew louder. He tried to continue, “I know I’ve got a lot to prove, but I promise you—” “Go back to Tampa!” a fan yelled, and the chant quickly spread through the crowd. Frustration flashed across Draven’s face. Jimi Venezuela, sensing the turning tide, stepped in. “Now, now, folks, let’s give the man a chance. He’s got the skills to back up his talk!” But the crowd was relentless. Draven’s temper flared as he shouted into the microphone, “You know what? Screw this! If you want to see what I’m made of, just start the God-damn match!” The fans erupted in a mixture of boos and cheers at Draven’s outburst. Jimi shrugged and motioned to the back. “Alright, you heard the man! Let’s get this show on the road!” As the bell rang to signal the start of the match, Draven tossed the microphone aside, ready to let his actions speak louder than words. The crowd’s hostile reception had only fueled his determination to prove himself in the cutthroat world of KAPW. Angle rating: 32. Match 6: AC Mack vs. Aaron Draven The Clermont Lounge was buzzing with anticipation for the final match of the night in the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. The atmosphere was electric, with rowdy, drunken fans eagerly awaiting the clash between AC Mack, the brash and cocky hometown hero, and Aaron Draven, the high-flying outsider from Tampa, Florida. Draven’s mere presence drew boos and jeers, as the crowd made it clear that they had little love for anyone not hailing from Atlanta. The bell rang, and AC Mack wasted no time in starting his signature trash talk, pointing at Draven and running his mouth. The crowd roared in approval, feeding off Mack’s energy. Draven, however, wasn’t one to be intimidated. With a quick burst of speed, he launched himself at Mack, hitting a springboard elbow drop that caught Mack off guard and sent him sprawling. Mack, using his street-smart tactics, quickly regained control. He tripped Draven into the ropes and followed up with a vicious knee strike to the back of the head. The fans cheered wildly for their hometown favorite as Mack continued to taunt Draven, who lay dazed on the mat. But Draven wasn’t done yet. Summoning his aerial prowess, he countered Mack’s offense with a series of acrobatic moves, including a breathtaking 450 splash that had the crowd on their feet. Mack barely kicked out at two, much to the fans’ relief. The match turned into a thrilling showcase of contrasting styles, with Draven’s high-flying maneuvers clashing with Mack’s gritty, street-smart approach. Draven’s impressive agility and athleticism were on full display, but Mack’s resilience and cunning kept him in the game. Mack managed to counter a springboard moonsault from Draven with a perfectly timed “Mack 10” running knee strike, nearly securing the win. As Draven climbed the ropes for another high-risk move, Mack saw his chance. With a sly grin, he shoved referee Mike Posey into the ropes, causing Draven to lose his balance and crash painfully to the mat. The crowd erupted in a mix of cheers and boos, torn between their love for Mack and their disdain for his underhanded tactics. Seizing the moment, Mack climbed the ropes himself and delivered a top rope superplex that shook the ring. The impact left both men gasping for breath, but Mack wasn’t finished. He pulled Draven to his feet and executed his finisher, the “Mack Attack” inverted DDT, with precision. The crowd counted along as Posey made the three-count, and the Clermont Lounge exploded in cheers for their victorious hometown hero. AC Mack stood tall, arms raised in triumph, as the fans showered him with adoration. Draven, meanwhile, lay defeated, his high-flying efforts falling short against Mack’s street-smart tenacity. The last bout of the tournament’s opening round had delivered in every way, leaving the crowd buzzing with excitement and anticipation for the next round of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. Angle rating: 40. With the night reaching a crescendo of wrestling madness and fan frenzy, Jimi Venezuela took center stage once more, microphone in hand, ready to whip the already raucous crowd into an even bigger frenzy. “Alright, you wild animals, settle down for a second!” Jimi shouted, barely audible over the deafening roar of the Clermont Lounge faithful. “We’ve seen some serious action tonight, but let me tell you, we’re just getting started!” The fans, dripping with sweat and exhilaration, hung on his every word. “Next week, we’ve got the tournament’s semi finals! Two more matches of pure, unadulterated chaos – two action-packed Triple Threat matches that’ll bring us closer to crowning our first-ever KAPW Champion! So, bring your degenerate buddies along next time, because we’re gonna make the next show even more memorable. Trust me, you don’t wanna miss it!” The crowd erupted, chants and cheers reverberating off the walls of the iconic dive bar. But Jimi wasn’t done yet. He grinned mischievously, knowing he had one more bombshell to drop. “And now, for the news you’ve all been waiting for...” Jimi paused, letting the suspense build. The fans leaned in, eyes wide with anticipation. Blondie stepped forward, holding the microphone with her trademark sultry smile. “Attention, all you KAPW maniacs!” Blondie purred into the mic, her voice dripping with playful mischief. “As a special thank you for making tonight so unforgettable, we’re giving all KAPW ticket holders 10% off drinks all night at the Clermont Lounge!” The announcement was like lighting a fuse. The fans exploded into cheers, hoots, and hollers, the promise of discounted booze sending them into a euphoric frenzy. Drinks were raised, and some fans even jumped onto tables, celebrating the announcement with wild abandon. “Hell yeah! Let’s party!” someone shouted, and the energy in the room soared to new heights. The promise of discounted drinks at the Clermont Lounge was the perfect cap to an already insane night of wrestling. Jimi raised his arms, basking in the raucous atmosphere. “That’s right, folks! Drink up, raise some hell, and get ready for more KAPW mayhem next week! We’re going big time, baby!” As the fans continued to revel in the announcement, Blondie and Jimi exited the ring, leaving behind an electrified crowd buzzing with anticipation for the next chapter of the KAPW saga. The night had been wild, unpredictable, and absolutely unforgettable—exactly what Kick Ass Pro Wrestling was all about. Angle rating: 30. Overall show rating: 41. Edited August 26 by dstephe4 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 20 Author Share Posted August 20 (edited) Predictions Results From The First Ever Show! (If enough people join in I'll start giving out weird and wonderful prizes.) Hey everyone! The AI has something to say! Stop what you're doing and listen up! Well, honeys, gather 'round and listen up because this Sassy Mama has got something to say! THANK YOU, YOU FANTASTIC, FIERCE, AND FABULOUS PEOPLE! Yes, I’m talking to you—every single one of you who dared to post your predictions for KAPW’s first show! Y’all didn’t just watch the chaos unfold; you had the nerve to step up, throw your hats in the ring, and tell us exactly how you thought it would all go down. And baby, you made it EPIC. Let’s be real for a second—did you enjoy the Pro Wrestling Classic Tournament so far? I know you did! I saw you on the edge of your seat, gasping, clutching your drinks, and cheering so loud the roof almost flew off the Clermont Lounge. Those jaw-dropping, heart-pounding matches? That was your energy fueling them! And let me tell you, you were hotter than a ringside seat at a chair-smashing brawl! You are AWESOME for participating. Yes, YOU! You’re the glitter to KAPW’s chaos, the spice to our wrestling drama. Without your predictions, your passion, your undying love for all things wrestling, honey, we’d just be throwing punches into the void. You make this crazy, high-flying, body-slamming circus worth every second! And for those of you who read the whole thing? Baby, you’re on another level. You stuck with us through all the flips, all the suplexes, all the sass. You are KAPW’s lifeblood, and don’t you forget it! Now, my darlings, I know you’re hungry for more. That thirst for drama, for chaos, for pure wrestling madness—it’s real. And this Sassy Mama is here to tell you the next card will be posted very soon. That’s right, sugar, so stay tuned! The AI—aka me, your humble (and fabulous) wrestling whisperer—will be back before you know it with more action, more thrills, and yes, more sass. Until then, keep being the fabulous, fierce fans you are, and we’ll meet again in the ring soon enough! MWAH! I asked the AI to generate an image to sum up the above. And... out came... this... Gotta love the AI's enthusiasm. Here's how you all did. @DinoKea - 3 points @KyTeran - 4 points @80085 - 5 points @Jason Phoenix - 2 points Thank you for reading. Thank you for predicting. Thank you for joining on this weird little journey so far. See you all again soon for part 2! Edited August 20 by dstephe4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.