ZEN: In The Court Of Karrg

[alpha2117]

BWAH HAHAHAHA Of course there has to be a canon reason nobody can spell.  Love it.  

This almost made Sky's the Limit tolerable.  😉

[Teasenitryn]

So apparently I am feeling the left side of this set of matchups.

To writ

Karrg

Sky's the Limit

Fox

Spider

Slim

And swapping Auckland for Oakland? You monster.

[AboardTheArk]

I mean it's not like I didn't expect to be delighted after clicking on the new post, but I didn't expect this! Great as usual even when not doing the usual. 

 

WAY OF THE SPY

ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH
KARRG THE ETERNAL (c) VS PUMPKIN JACK

Considering we got an impromptu title match last time, there's a chance this is really short and we get something extra for ratings' sake.

ZEN HARMONY TITLE MATCH
SKY'S THE LIMIT (c) VS THE ALIEN FLEET

Clearly we need to unlock lore

URBAN FOX VS BLACK FLASH

This would serve no purpose and make no sense other than it'd make me happy

CONCEPTUAL TITLE MATCH
PINK SPIDER (c) VS TOADY

Tecnico Pink Spider might be the best character in the diary imo

REKHA BANNED FROM RINGSIDE
LERONE SLIM VS TREVOR FEATHER

Building to (Mask vs Hair)+ the Conceptual Title wouldn't shock me

[daddy_shelton]

ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH
KARRG THE ETERNAL (c) VS PUMPKIN JACK

GLORY TO KAARG! GLORY TO THE ARMADA!

ZEN HARMONY TITLE MATCH
SKY'S THE LIMIT (c) VS THE ALIEN FLEET

THREE! THREE TITLE DEFENSES!

URBAN FOX VS BLACK FLASH

The losing streak for New Zealand's coolest fox continues.

CONCEPTUAL TITLE MATCH
PINK SPIDER (c) VS TOADY

Loving the new "mask"

REKHA BANNED FROM RINGSIDE
LERONE SLIM VS TREVOR FEATHER

How the hell are you making me find new ways to hate this slimy little weasel?

[Pteroid]

Oh by the way in the interest of driving discussion, the game decided to screw me this month, can you all guess how? (Don't worry it wasn't game ruining but I did have to scramble to make things make sense)

[alpha2117]

19 minutes ago, Pteroid said:

Oh by the way in the interest of driving discussion, the game decided to screw me this month, can you all guess how? (Don't worry it wasn't game ruining but I did have to scramble to make things make sense)

2 possibilites a Japanese Tour or RAW poached someone - I'll go with RAW because a J tour is just a matter of having someone not appear for one show which doesn't normally need much scrambling - it's just annoying.

Edited September 19 by alpha2117

[Martel123]

WAY OF THE SPY

ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH
KARRG THE ETERNAL (c) VS PUMPKIN JACK

Yeah this is wraps lmao. Sorry Jack

ZEN HARMONY TITLE MATCH
SKY'S THE LIMIT (c) VS THE ALIEN FLEET

Got time as others have said, and with their importance it makes sense to keep them champs for nowwwwww.

URBAN FOX VS BLACK FLASH

Could see Flash being built up to eventually beating Spider

CONCEPTUAL TITLE MATCH
PINK SPIDER (c) VS TOADY

Toady is on the lowest rung in the Armanda, so gotta go with Spider

REKHA BANNED FROM RINGSIDE
LERONE SLIM VS TREVOR FEATHER

My Steven Ogg impersonator finally getting a push! Lerone Slim has made Kargg mad maybe, and Feather is in his good graces for getting the book.

[AboardTheArk]

2 hours ago, Pteroid said:

Oh by the way in the interest of driving discussion, the game decided to screw me this month, can you all guess how? (Don't worry it wasn't game ruining but I did have to scramble to make things make sense)

Rekha worked an outside date (5SSW?) and got badly hurt and now can't even work angles for a bit 

[Big Roguey]

3 hours ago, Pteroid said:

Oh by the way in the interest of driving discussion, the game decided to screw me this month, can you all guess how? (Don't worry it wasn't game ruining but I did have to scramble to make things make sense)

Sparky caused another bakery based war and accidentally incapacitated someone with a deathly nut allergy?

[Pteroid]

Going to see to two more 'graphical upgrades' as I'm working on Way of the Spy.

Mostly this is driven by two things:

1) I've realized that HalloWarped is not technically a masked wrestler (presumably the half mask is a sort of entrance gear thing) so his picture makes no sense.  EDIT: My efforts aren't working so I'm going to try and get one of my artists on it when they have a commission slot open.

2) I just plain don't like how Vortex looks and he's a main character at this point so that's gotta get dealt with. EDIT: Bada-bing

 

Edited Sunday at 05:16 AM by Pteroid

[Pteroid]

KARRG THE ETERNAL PRESENT: WAY OF THE SPY
LIVE ON WRESTLEWORLD FROM: THE RELIQUARY OF SCALE
ATTENDANCE: 888 (JACKPOT! WHAT DO YOU WIN!? MORE KARRG!)

IT IS AS THE ATTENDANCE MESSAGE SAYS-gah, they even got me doing it now. We come in on the throne room of Karrg where the ZEN Master Champion is holding court. Stood at his side is Pumpkin Jack as he addresses his minions in a full lineup, though conspicuously absent are Lone Shark and Booster: Boy Genius...

"Loyal Vassals, it has become apparent to me that we have treated this Realm of ZEN and the ZENizens of it with too soft a hand. We stand at the threshold my long journey's end, but we are without vital components to my ascension and the clock is ticking! YOU!"

Karrg points at Toady, who is erratically dodging what appears to be attempts by Laguna to eat him, the two have their heads bashed together by Deathwatch Beetle who proceeds to shove Toady towards the ZEN Master.

Karrg:
"Noble Toady, tonight you are given a chance at redemption against the vile Paper Spider! Prove to the world that arachnology is the science of quacks and lunatics and that the humble fly can triumph given enough grit!"

Toady buzzes and tilts his head quizzically.

Karrg:
"...I'm saying spit your horrible vomit mist or whatever that stenchsome gunk is."

Toady buzzes affirmatively and starts hacking-.

Karrg:
"AT HIM! AT HIM!"

"GET OUT! GO! FIGHT PUNY SPIDER!"

Beetle grabs Toady by the arm and hammerthrows him towards the door, leaving the horrid creature to buzz and stutter-step about before disappearing through the door.

Karrg:
"Idiotic pest...where was I? SNARK!"

"What?"

Karrg:
"How goes your distraction of the Woodchuck?"

"The human has failed, Mighty Karrg, the Woodchuck has already struck a blow against us! He could not stop her from freeing Spider and Fish last month and gave us no help in the trios match!"

Snark:
"Oh I'm sorry, sunshine, I didn't know I was supposed to fight your battles for you too."

Karrg:
"Explain yourself."

Snark:
"I baited my trap, I have no doubt she wants to talk to me. It's not my fault SOMEBODY let his hatred of clowns completely ruin your security detail."

Malothian:
"How DARE you!?"

Snark:
"How dare I point out your vendetta screwed up Karrg's plans?"

Malothian:
"You..."

Karrg:
"Enough! I will accept your excuses for now, Snark, but you know what is at stake."

Snark:
"...how...how is he?"

Karrg:
"I have had the Boosted Boy on continuous maintenance duty with his pod. He remains in safe cryogenic bliss."

Snark:
"Right..."

Karrg:
"Just a few more months, Buckminster, a few more months and he will be returned to you. You've waited ages longer, no?"

Snark doesn't answer, he simply turns away and walks towards the door. Karrg looks to Malothian.

Karrg:
"Keep an eye on him, he is regrettably quite clever."

Malothian nods.

Karrg:
"Now then, with that business handled..."

Karrg looks to Jack, who mirrors the head movement.

Karrg:
"Time to prepare for my...title match."

The camera slowly zooms in on Jack's masked face before the camera cuts abruptly to our first match...

REKHA BANNED FROM RINGSIDE

LERONE SLIM VS TREVOR FEATHER w/GURU VISHNI

Lerone started the match off hot, quite obviously furious with Trevor's betrayal of longtime mentor Cyanide and the fact that Trev came to the ring gleefully using his shock collar remote on Vishni twice as he attempted to speak with Lerone. A vast array of Slimplexes were brought to bear on the preening peacock until Feather slid from the ring and used Guru as a human shield to get some breathing room. Lerone tried to use this as an opportunity to try and find a way to get the collar off of Vishni but Trevor used this as an opportunity to press the button on his remote and shock Slim along with his hostage! With Slim reeling, Trevor would toss him back into the ring and put the boots to him with a glee that puts to rest the two's old affiliation meaning anything to the Peackock he finished it off with a knee drop to the head and a peacock strut before getting a 1 3/4th's count.

Whether or not he thought 'Knee drop with theatrics' with get the victory or not, Trevor seemed keen to apply more agony to Lerone, applying a headlock that was more or less an excuse to claw at Lerone's eyes and face. Possibly due to him being far and away less morally reprehensible than his opponent, the ZEN Faithful began rallying behind Lerone in order to get him back on his feet and smash Trevor directly in the gut with an elbow. Hearkening back to his days all those years ago as a tecnico, Lerone began laying an almighty (and frankly quite cathartic) smackdown on Trevor who was thrown from pillar to post by another flurry of SlimPlexes. Feeding off the enthusiasm of the crowd for the first time in ages, dipping into some more crowd pleasing versions of his arsenal such as the rare Slingshot Slimplex that secured a  nearfall for the Casual part of Casual Violence.

However seeking fan approval can be a double edged sword and Lerone's attempt at a top rope SlimperPlex (Maybe it's SkinnyPlex?) was met with a rake to the eye and a counter into a super sunset flip that nearly got Trevor the win. Lerone swiftly moved to stand and regain his momentum by catching a boot from Trevor and spinning him around into the setup for the Slimliner but Trevor raked the eyes and shoved Lerone back into a collision with Steven Yale! As Lerone tried to recover, he soon found himself punted directly between the legs and caught in the Feather Ruffler that put him down for a three count and a win for the Peacock.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: TREVOR FEATHER

Sparky:
"Well ZEN Faithful not the way I wanted to see Way of the Spy begin but Trevor Feather has come out on top in this-"

"VISHNI GET YOUR TACKY TUSH IN MY RING!"

Sparky:
"Oh come on!"

Trevor has stolen the microphone from the ring announcer and beckons Vishni into the ring, threatening him with the shock collar remote. Vishni makes to check on Lerone but gets a shock for his trouble.

Trevor:
"Oh don't you worry we'll be seeing to him in a moment. ZEN Faithful, I used to think I knew what luxury was. I used to think I knew what decadence entailed but no sir, all of that paled in comparison to the glories Karrg bestowed on me! Did you know there's such a thing such a thing as caviar in space? I do now! What I'm saying is I was accustomed to getting what I wanted before but now? Oh baby, there are things I didn't even know I wanted 'til now! Which...brings me to you..."

Trevor gives a recovering Lerone a look.

Trevor:
"See, I've got a lifestyle now, Slimfast. A lifestyle I gotta protect from anyone that might wanna...I dunno, get some revenge for certain skullfaced hasbeens that need to let a guy be. Sooooooo..."

Trevor sways back and forth on the balls off his feet and pops his mouth a few times in an exaggerated 'awkwaaaard~' kind of way.

Y'know, like a jerk.

Trevor:
"Vishy banish him."

"WHAT!?"

Trevor:
"Yeah I'm kinda sick of him and Rekha. I don't wanna look over my shoulder, that takes away from prime 'looking in the mirror' hours. So open that there book of yours and banish him with a magical spell or whatever."

Vishni:
"You...you cannot be serious, Lerone has done you no harm...socially speaking!"

Trevor:
"Oh I'm sorry let me rephrase my request."

Trevor shocks Vishni, the Guru falling to the mat in pain.

Trevor:
"Banish him. Now."

Vishni:
"..."

Trevor:
"Tick tock, tick-"

Trevor shocks him again.

Trevor:
"Shock. I kill me."

Lerone crawls over to Vishni and shakes his head, mouthing 'Do it' and 'I'll be fine' as his former manager looks dejected and opens his tome, beginning an incantation. Lerone glares at Trevor as the lights begin to flicker and he points angrily at his ex-stablemate.

"Cyanide's gonna kick your a-"

The lights go out, when they come back on, Lerone is gone. Trevor claps his hands together and laughs when-

Uh oh.

Barreling down to ringside, Rekha causes Trevor to shriek and yank Guru out of the ring and forcibly escape into the crowd with him as a furious Rekha storms around the ring, glaring at the retreating form of Feather.

Sparky:
"An absolutely classless act by Trevor Feather, I can't believe this!"

Dustin:
"Lerone Slim has been banished and Rekha is furious!"

Sparky:
"This is the chaos a ZEN ran by Karrg has in store for us and I'm frankly mortified, who else are we gonna lose before this is over!?"

Dustin:
"Not if the rest of the roster has anything to say about it! We've seen what the Armada's allies are capable of, now one of their own is attempting to avenge himself against Conceptual Champion Paper-uhm Pink Spider."

Sparky:
"Last month Toady fell victim to the Web of Destruction in the same trios match that granted him and Devilfish their freedom. Karrg's given him another chance at taking on his natural predator araña a mosca and get the Conceptual title back in the Armada's embrace!"

Dustin:
Nice Spanish, Sparky."

CONCEPTUAL TITLE MATCH


PINK (NOT PAPER, PINK) SPIDER(c) VS TOADY

Toady came into this bout with an erratic fervor that had become the norm for him since his mutation, just as likely to leave the ring as attack his opponent, his every movement a seemingly random on the f-er, spontaneous decision driven by pure instinct. It'd be quite the heavy load handle if Pink Spider wasn't faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous~! The fashion mags all over the world were apparently abuzz (in the non-bug sense) about his new Kraft Couture stylings and uncanny ability to keep the thing on his head in the midst of a strenuous athletic bout. The flashbulbs were blinding to start things off...which lead to the paparazzi fleeing in horror as the bright lights attracted Toady who was quite abuzz (in the bug sense) about their interest in the match.

Luckily for the peanut gallery, Spider was on hand to keep Toady from assailing the public as tossed him into the ring to properly begin the match. Having had first hand experience with the stylings of the frenetic flier, Pinks was able to pick him apart in the early goings by intermingling his own acrobatics with the plethora of submission techniques he had mastered. Toady would eventually manage to escape an attempt at the Web of Destruction by grabbing Pink's 'mask' and twisting it around to blind him before applying a high-speed beatdown for a few moments after Pink righted his mask. However, his unpredictable nature would come back to bite him when he made to attack the paparazzi again and got into a scuffle with Steven Yale. Toady wrenched Yale's walking stick from his hands and dropped it outside the ring, perhaps accessing some remnants of the rudo consciousness still in his mind somewhere before attempting his horrible spit into the face of a recovering Spider. Only...

SPIDER TWISTED THE MASK BACK AROUND TO THE SIDE WITH NO EYE HOLES!

With Toady momentarily shocked, Spider would twist the mask back around, tank the obvious discomfort of having whatever that stuff was against the back of his head, and apply the Web of Destruction that Toady would have to endure much longer than expected due to Yale being forced to search for his stick. Naturally Pinks was more than happy to keep it applied because honestly Toady was a jerk even before he was a mutant and we eventually got the submission victory for Spider to retain the title!

WINNER VIA SUBMISSION AND STILL CONCEPTUAL CHAMPION: PINK SPIDER
(DEFENSE #3)

We cut immediately back to the throne room of Karrg where the champion is less than pleased with this outcome.

Karrg:
"USELESS INSECTOID! Now who will take for me that infernal belt!?"

Malothian bows to Karrg and takes a step forward.

Malothian:
"If I may my lord-"

Malothian is suddenly shoved aside by-

Beetle:
"BEETLE WANT FIGHT PINK BUG! BEETLE SQUASH!"

Malothian:
"You have no right to demand this opportunity, you have lost to the Spider twice!"

Beetle shoves Pink Spider's mask in Malothian's face.

Beetle:
"BEETLE TAKE SPIDER FACE! SPIDER WEAR STUPID BROWN BAG OVER HEAD BECAUSE OF BEETLE! BEETLE IS BEST CHANCE!"

Malothian:
"You've had enough chances already you idiotic brute."

Beetle:
"YOU HAVE CHANCE TOO! YOU MAKE PUNY FLY MAN! HIS CHANCE YOUR CHANCE! NOW BEETLE TURN AGAIN!"

Malothian:
"That is the most illogical bunch of nonsense I've ever heard, you have no authority here."

Snark speaks up from nearby.

Snark:
"And you do?"

Malothian:
"Speak when spoken too, human filth!"

Snark:
"Sheesh, and here I thought the guy in charge here was the one on the throne..."

Malothian and Beetle stop stock still and immediately look at Karrg who seems less than pleased with the bickering.

Karrg:
"Yes. As a matter of fact, I am."

Malothian:
"Mighty Karrg I did not mean to elevate myself above you-"

Karrg:
"Now is not the time for petty politicking, the match is already lost and I've a month to find a worthy replacement. You both could put your energies towards proving yourselves tonight. Malothian is your other mind-thrall prepared for battle?"

Malothian:
"Yes, the defective Flash has been prepared to face the pathetic dancing mammal."

Karrg:
"Go with him, take your place among the commentators and see they do not get to libertine with their anti-me sentiments. As for you Beetle, ruminate upon your recent failures and think of what shall impress me."

Malothian:
"As you wish, Mighty Karrg."

Malothian and Beetle step away from the throne and leave it in lockstep, sparing a heated glance at one another before going their separate ways within Karrg's UFO. Oddly the camera follows Beetle, who stalks through corridors before finding the two people he's after.

"No no ya idjit! Their move is ABC 123!"

"Blblbl blblbl!"

Manny:
"Ugh Karrg spare me havin' tae deal with this illiterate fish."

Beetle:
"FUNNY TALK MAN! FISH MAN!"

Manny:
"...this day just keep gettin' worse. What is it ya flexin' fop!?"

Beetle:
"KARRG NEED NEW CHALLENGE FOR NOT-BELT! BEETLE WANT FIGHT SPIDER!"

Laguna:
"Bl? BLBLBL!"

Laguna holds up his hand like he's volunteering. Beetle punches him.

Beetle:
"NOT FOR YOU! BEETLE! BEETLE GET NOT-BELT! YOU HELP!"

Manny:
"Hmmm...how about...nay?"

Beetle:
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

Manny:
"Listen here and listen well, we've got our own hands full with yon Edutainer and the Vertigo tribute act! We don't need to go toe-in' the line for no-"

Laguna:
"Blblb."

Manny:
"Wussat?"

Laguna:
"Blblblbl. Blb. Blblblb."

Manny:
"...wait...ye may on tae somethin', Laggy me lad..."

Beetle:
"SPEAK NORMAL!"

Manny:
"Wellllll Beets it's like this, we got a problem. You've got a problem. So you help us solve ours. And we'll help you solve yours. Savvy?"

Beetle:
"HOW SOLVE PROBLEM!?"

Manny:
"Ohhhh I think you'll like my plan...it involves...violence."

Beetle:
"BEETLE LOVE VIOLENCE!"

Manny:
"Huzzah."

Laguna:
"Blbl!"

The cameras cut from this back to ringside where Malothian has dutifully done as bade and accompanied a nervous-looking Black Flash to ringside, joining commentary much to the dismay of Sparky and Dustin.

URBAN FOX VS BLACK FLASH

While Black Flash clearly wasn't happy being under the thrall of the Malothian he still retained enough of his mind to remain a dangerous competitor in the ring. Fox learned that last bit the hard way as his casual stylings did little to fend off the pure speed and athleticism of his opponent, to say nothing of his larger amount of experience. Needless to say despite the support of Super Coolio at ringside, nobody was surprised when the youngster was put away with the Senton Bomb.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: BLACK FLASH

Malothian:
"Aha! See there, my caliber of recruit has not diminished just because of a setback earlier."

Sparky:
"Huh? We didn't say anything about that."

Malothian:
"What? No! Silence yourselves, I am pointing out my superiority to another!"

Sparky:
"Oh we humans do that to...usually in the shower after having an inconclusive argument with someone."

Malothian:
"My suit regulates all cleanliness requirements, I am always technically in the shower."

Dustin:
"Think we could get him on public indecency charges, Sparky?"

Sparky:
"We'd need to ask Brain Buster, assuming retiring from the force didn't suck out all his law knowhow."

Malothian:
"Actually according to intergalactic law I am-KZZZZZZZZZZZZT-ntil other-KZZZZZZZZZZZT-

Sparky:
"Oh thank -KZZZZZZZZZZZZT- happening n-KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT-"

"borrrrrring. let us see another channel, yes? yes~"

We abruptly cut from Malothian explaining intergalactic law like we're in a crappy space opera to a scene out of a much more interesting space opera: One where Vortex and HalloWarped are in the midst of a heated sparring session in a warehouse somewhere in Aukland. Looking like nothing less than the spars one could have seen from Halloween Knight and Necromancer in days of yore (yore being like ten years ago) their as they test their abilities against one another. The end of this exchange sees Vortex getting caught in a Fujiwara Armbar and wisely tapping out before any actual damage could be done. The two men roll from the ring and catch their breath, Warped dipping into a banged up cooler to toss his training partner a bottle of water before retrieving one for himself.

"Hez still on lookout duty?"

"Yes, I'll be relieving her in a moment, I understand she's been wanting to practice a move with you."

Warped:
"Yeah she's wanting to give a go at that move me and Pinks used in that elimination match way back when."

Vortex:
"The one you used on Cyanide? Hrm...yes, that should prove an effective weapon, certainly would have been useful if she knew it in your trios match."

Warped:
"Yeah...speaking of, I've been meaning to ask you something..."

Vortex:
"Don't trail off then, ask it."

Warped:
"What changed?"

Vortex:
"You're going to be more specific."

Warped:
"What made you turn on Trevor and join us?"

Vortex:
"Maybe I just didn't like Trevor."

Warped stares at him.

Vortex:
"Ok yes, nobody likes Trevor. I'll keep it simple then...what Hez said is the culprit."

Warped:
"Her trash-talking you didn't seem to have much of an effect before."

Vortex:
"Not that, I've withstood her barbs before and I will again. No...the speech she gave you."

Warped:
"About not giving up? That's what changed your mind?"

Vortex:
"Yes, because it wasn't her speech. Not originally. Once upon a time, I was the one who told it to her. I was...younger then. More idealistic."

Warped:
"Wait a minute..."

Vortex:
"Yes yes, I see the wheels in your head turning, go ahead and give me your revelation."

Warped:
"You're him, you're her brother!?"

Vortex:
"The same, not the one held in Karrg's grasp, mind you. Skaeth remains in cryogenic sleep. I am the middle child of the Jendell family."

Warped:
"Huh...is Vortex your real name?"

Vortex:
"It is the name that I gave myself when I could no longer bear being the man I once way. It is an ancient rite of our people, a rebirth to some, an act of self-harm for others. I ripped asunder my old identity and donned a mask of shame. Hez alone knows my true face among the living, and Hez alone knows why I discarded it."

Warped:
"I don't suppose you'd be keen to share the story?"

Vortex:
"We don't have the time, I'm to go on watch soon and you'll be taking up the mantle after I'm-"

"HEY! YOU TWO STOP GOSSIPING AND HELP ME!"

Hez comes into the room dragging along someone flailing and struggling.

"Hey come on, lady, I'm not hurting anybody! I was looking for you three I swear! I wanna help! I wanna help!"

Warped and Vortex jog off and look quizzically at the scene.

Vortex:
"Hez, why are you wrestling some sort of trash bag?"

Hez:
"Stop joking and help me subdue him, I caught this one skulking about the shadows, only he kept leaving the shadows to make a show of his skulking!"

Warped:
"Hang on, I know this guy's voice...Herbie!?"

The man in the cloak sheds the cowl of his disguise and reveals himself.

"Oh thank goodness, Warped please talk some sense into her!"

Warped:
"Hez let him go, he's our referee!"

Hez:
"You think this exonerates him? He could be a spy!"

Herbie:
"I am a spy!"

Warped:
"He's not a-wait what?"

Herbie:
"I am, I have information! I just...I needed to find you guys to let you know! I...I thought I owed it to ZEN before I...well..."

Vortex:
"One thing I despise about this planet is the amount of dramatic pauses, out with it, man!"

Herbie:
"I'm leaving ZEN, heck I'm leaving New Zealand..."

Warped:
"Huh? Why!?"

Voice:
"Cuz he's a coward!"

Herbie:
"Oh no...oh no I was followed!"

Three men come striding into the warehouse, Warped, Hez, and Vortex square up to find themselves faced with:

"Well well well, blank boy was right, zebra led us straight to the vermin. National Geographic eat your heart out."

"Yeah great...why did you not let the rest of the Armada know about this!? At least bum some Karrg troopers!"

Shark:
"And let that suck-up Malothian take all the glory? Please. Besides we got something better than a Karrg Trooper, we got-"

Shark and Booster are shoved aside by the man they entered with.

"[glares intently]"

Shark:
"Sheesh, tetchy today aren't we?"

Warped:
"What are you two clowns doing here and why'd you bring him with you?"

Booster:
"ZERO told us -well gesticulated- he had a way to track you three down to collect that bounty Karrg put out. I thought we'd have backup..."

Shark:
"Whinge whinge whinge, for a boy genius you sure whine like a girl. Anyway ZERO was looking for a fight and he needed us as a pretext, win win for everyone involved. Well, 3/7ths of everyone involved."

Hez:
"Back for more, Blank Man? Very well, I will face y-"

Zero holds up a finger and wags it before pointing at Warped.

Shark:
"Yeahhhh nahhhh he wants teacher's pet, girly, you can sit and spin. We're here to put you and Cyanide's little running buddy down."

Vortex:
"Tall order for small-minded traitorous scum like you."

Booster:
"Takes one to know one, Mr. Creepy Mask."

Warped:
"Fine then, you want a fight, let's fight. We've even got a ref here to make it official."

Herbie:
"Wh-huh!?"

Zero nods affimatively.

Shark:
"And he knows what'll happen to him if he tries to screw over either side."

Herbie:
"I do!?"

Vortex:
"Very well. First up..."

Hez and Vortex slide into the ring and adopt mirrored stances at the two minions of Karrg.

Vortex:
"Been a minute since we've had to fight together-"

Hez:
"-but the two of your are barely better than training dummies."

Booster:
"That's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me."

Shark:
"GET IN THAT RING YOU POINTDEXTER DINGUS!"

Booster:
"And that's the second nicest."

TORNADO TAG MATCH IN A WAREHOUSE SOMEWHERE

HEZ JENDELL & VORTEX VS LONE SHARK & BOOSTER: BOY GENIUS

Spurred on by...unique coaching techniques of Lone Shark, Booster attempted to valiantly attack Hez only to get absolutely wrecked by her and sent to the outside where she continued the assault. Vortex meanwhile entered into a rudo-off with Lone Shark as the two attempted and blocked various dirty moves with one another as Herbie's demands for a clean match fell on deaf ears. Shark's experience advantage would ultimately allow him to counter an attempt at a throat strike with a boot to the belly and a toss out of the ring of Vortex onto Hez, giving Booster a much needed bit of breathing room but not a break as Shark began jawing at him to get Hez in the ring. Isolating the smaller of the two Jendells while doing their best to keep Vortex out of the ring, Shark did most of the heavy lifting until an attempt at a double backdrop saw Hez shift her weight and take both men down with a double facecrusher!

With the rudos no longer trying to cut him off, Vortex slid into the ring and took a moment to check on his sister before she rolled her eyes and directed him to focus on Booster while she dealt with Shark. The sibling duo would send the rudos reeling with a variety of acrobatic maneuvers, sending them flying to the mat, into the ropes, and each other in equal measure leading up to a double springboard moonsault onto both men for a nearfall! Switching up their targets again, Vortex would soon find himself out-rudo'd again as Shark hit a dirty headbutt to the belly as he was being dragged up and tossed him from the ring! Taking the time to let Booster's beatdown continue and distract Herbie, Shark easily ripped one of the turnbuckle pads away and finally interrupted Hez's assault on Booster with a knee to the small of her back! Grasping her by her pink locks, he oriented her around to irish whip towards the exposed turnbuckle and-

Was shocked to find Vortex draping himself across the exposed buckle to act as a human (or whatever their species was) cushion for his sister, who smacked back to back with him to rebound into a dropsault on the former ZEN Master! Booster, only barely recovered from Hez beating seven shades of crap out of him tried to beg off as Hez stepped in and leapt into a flying headscissors that sent him flying from the ring! With Shark slowly coming to from the dropsault, he found his arms hooked from behind by Vortex, holding him in place. Hez blinked at the sight of her brother setting up the very move that eliminated his tag team in its debut but quickly smirked and nailed a writhing Lone Shark with a superkick that added velocity to the follow up backslide driver and put the former ZEN Master down for the three count.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: HEZ JENDELL & VORTEX

Post-match Booster drags the carcass of Lone Shark from the ring and looks at ZERO.

Booster:
"Nuts to this, you're on your own, blanks."

Booster haphazardly drags Lone Shark away from the ring and the glaring tecnicos. If losing his Armada support troubles him, ZERO doesn't show it, ignoring the glares of both Jendell siblings as he enters the ring. Warped moves to join him and adopts a stance that ZERO mirrors.

Warped:
"I'm not going to stand here and pretend a guy like you has a better nature to appeal to, just know that when all this is over and we've given Karrg the boot...we're going to remember everyone who was working with him."

ZERO doesn't answer and merely gives a 'come on' gesture.

Warped:
"Fine by me, never liked you anyway."

HALLOWARPED VS ZERO

From the word 'Go!' (from Herbie, the warehouse is without a bell) the two me are after each other with an flurry of acrobatic maneuvers only a career in lucha could teach you. The Sky Kings and Warp-Jump were not strangers to one another in the Harmony Division back in the day and even sans their partners or an audience both men threw themselves into the fight with all they had. ZERO's rudo tactics were as brutal as ever but Warped had had a much longer tenure as a rule-breaker and he had most of them scouted until ZERO countered out of an attempted tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and hit a dirty thrusting strike to the throat that sent him falling to the mat writhing in pain as Herbie tried to admonish the unrepentant Devious Darwinist.

Hez moved to check on Warped but ZERO kicked through the ropes at her to ward her off, clearly the animosity was still very real on his end even if he'd played aloof before. Vortex pulled Hez back, reminding her this was Warped's battle as ZERO began applying submission hold after submission hold on the heir to Halloween Knight's legacy, attempting to break his foe's spirit along with his body. However, Warped remained a stubborn fighter and eventually managed to slip his head free of a guillotine choke and bring an axehandle blow down on ZERO's chest to free himself! Standing back up, Warped would unleash a series of kicks on the ZERO before countering the Blank-Faced Fighter's catching one into an enzugiri to send ZERO to the mat.

However, one doesn't become a Master Champion by mere luck and as Warped went to the top rope to deliver a high-flying maneuver, ZERO pounced towards Herbie to shove him into the ropes and crotch the tecnico on the corner thanks to losing his balance. Leaping up to meet Warped on the top rope, ZERO bashed a series of punches into the Phenom's face before leaping onto his shoulders for a super hurricanrana- at least he would have if Warped didn't manage to hold onto the ropes and force ZERO to go flying onto his back from the top rope leaving him open to a Warped nailing an imperfect form of Hez's Cosmic Singularity for a nearfall! With ZERO reeling and weakened, Warped would stand behind him and wait for the former ZEN Master to rise; standing behind him and immediate leaping into the ropes as he stood and correctly guessing the rudo would turn directly into the Warp Factor 5! Wiped out by the move, ZERO would not be kicking out any time soon as Herbie made the pin.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: HALLOWARPED

Warped rolls out of the ring, joined by Herbie, Vortex, and Hez as he collects himself after his hard fought victory.

Hez:
"Well done, Warrior of the Warped, that villain is not easily felled."

Vortex:
"Don't I know it...still we need to get out of here, we've been made and Booster will have the good sense to call in the goon squad unlike Shark."

Warped:
"Hold on...Herbie, you said you were leaving?"

Herbie:
"What? Oh, yes, yes I am."

Warped:
"Why?"

Herbie:
"I...I can't take this any more, I've been forced to raise the hand of a man who's laid a horrible beating on my mentor twice now. I learned of a new scheme he has for next month and I...I can't stay here, I can't be party to it."

Hez:
"Speak now, gentle zebra, what madness does the tyrant plan?"

Herbie:
"A...a tournament. He says he's going to give the winner a title match but I know he has something planned, I know he's going to do something horrible again and if I can't stop him the best I can do is tell you three what's going on. Maybe...maybe you can come up with a plan."

Vortex:
"A tournament, eh? Hmm...well obviously none of us could get a spot as ourselves, we're banished. But..."

Warped:
"Thought you hated dramatic pauses."

Vortex:
"I'm not being dramatic, I'm thinking. I may have a plan, but it's going to require a bit of subterfuge."

Hez:
"We are long past the point of fighting openly on the field, Vortex, guerilla tactics are all that are left to us."

Vortex:
"Remember you said that when you hear it, then..."

Hez:
"Hm?"

The sound of boots in the distance cut off the conversation and Warped grits his teeth.

Warped:
"Talk on the way, we'll need to find a new hiding spot. Herbie stick with us for now, I'll see you get a taxi to the airport when I can."

Herbie:
"Really? Thank you so much!"

Warped:
"Don't thank me yet, we need to outrun these freaks, let's go!"

All four run offscreen as static begins to overtake it, our perspective returning to the commentary table where-

Malothian:
"-in accordance with the treaty of Alpha Centauri we-"

HE'S STILL GOING!? IT'S BEEN TWO MATCHES!

Sparky:
"Good god, how much more of this is there!?"

Malothian:
"Roughly fifteen pages, however it is meaningless."

Dustin:
"...why?"

Malothian:
"For no laws apply to Mighty Karrg and therefore no laws apply to me! Ha ha ha. What a shenanigan."

Dustin:
"I hate you so much."

Sparky:
"Don't quit your dayjob, yous somehow do less damage. Wait hang on, I'm getting word of a commotion backstage, do we have cameras back there?"

Dustin:
"Yes please anything to get our listeners away from Mal's concept of humor!"

Malothian:
"Your insolence has been noted but I too am curious, camera thralls to the backstage, I require surveillance!"

Backstage we're treated to the sight of one figure tackling another around a corner so swiftly that it can't quite pick up who it was. The camera tries to step in and get a better view but the operator falls flat on his rear as a steel chair goes sailing past. By the time they stand back up the noise of a struggle is cut off with a roar of pain and an arm (hopefully still attached to its owner) flops into view onto the ground. A few moments later a helmet clatters to the ground:

Stratos' helmet.

The sound of boots stomping gets closer and the camera comes face to face with the assailant, chest piece of the wouldbe Sky King hung around his shoulder like a grim trophy.

[beetle]
"Hrm...Mission accomplished. New trophy. Greh heh heh heh..."

Beetle steps over the body of the man he's taken out, disappearing down the corridor as the camera cuts back to the commentary desk.

Dustin:
"Wh-what did we just see!?"

Sparky:
"Deathwatch Beetle with a horrifying attack on Statos in the backstage area! We need to get paramedics back there immediately! Malothian, did Karrg sign off on this?!"

Malothian:
"No, no this is a far worse scenario..."

Dustin:
"Worse? What's worse than that, Stratos' career may have just ended permanently!"

Malothian:
"Because that upstart Beetle is attempting to leapfrog me in the pecking order! My handling of Black Flash would mean nothing if his meddling got the Armada the Harmony belts back! I REFUSE to be outmaneuvered like this...hrmm...I need to think. Impertinent simians, fill the air with your chatter!"

Malothian:
"This is not the distraction I wanted."

Kalliope Woodchuck has apparently chosen now to answer Buckminster Snark's callout from last month, coming down to the ring and shedding a venomous glare at the Malothian at the commentary desk as she passes. Rolling into the ring and getting a microphone from the announcer she took a moment to compose herself before addressing the audience.

"Well...guess I don't have much to say to you folks out here. We all know who I need to talk to, who wanted to meet me in the ring. Well Bucky, here I am so where are you?"

Ask and ye shall receive it seems as Bucky Snark makes his own way down to the ring, arms folded, his own microphone in hand as he steps up to face the woman he spent so long feuding with and precious little time actually dating before the Aliens stole his mind. With the same sour expression that was seen for ages prior to his famous confession of love, Bucky enters the ring and stares Kalliope down...

"Hello, Kalliope. Glad to see I didn't have to wait long to have this chat."

Kalliope:
"Would've took a lot less time if you hadn't insisted on it being in the ring...look, Bucky-"

Bucky:
"Think we should go back to Buckminster now, or Mr. Snark. Yes that's much more my style."

Kalliope:
"What...what did they do to you?"

Buckminster:
"Gave me a long time to clear my head, which is funny considering I wasn't even in it. Let's make one thing clear, Woodchuck, I never needed you to save me. I never wanted you to save me. That alien scumbag couldn't keep me locked up forever but now you're out here starting wars and for what? For them?"

Buckminster gestures to the crowd who boo him and get a snide glare in response.

Kalliope:
"Bucky what are you talking about? I ran through Skullduggery for you, I spat in the face of Karrg for you, not for the fans, not for anybody else! You can't honestly think I did it for-for fame? For my own satisfaction? You think I'd go to war for anything other than you?"

Buckminster:
"Well what can I say? Now you're at war against me."

Kalliope:
"Bucky-"

Buckminster:
"No more pet names, I am Buckminster Snark and I will be addressed that way, got it?"

Kalliope grits her teeth and shakes her head.

Kalliope:
"Fine...fine...you said we had unfinished business? Then I guess I'll just have to knock some sense into you."

Snark raises his hands, preparing for a fight but there's obvious hesitation by both the now-former lovers as the crowd starts a 'please don't do it!' chant (with very very morose claps we will have you know).

Sparky:
"This is ripping my heart apart, what have they done to Bucky Snark!?"

Dustin:
"It's his rookie years all over again, Sparky I'm aghast. Are we truly seeing the end of the first couple of ZEN?!"

Malothian:
"Ohhhhhh...that's it!"

Sparky:
"...what, do you suddenly have relationship insight?"

Malothian:
"No I know how I'm going to upstage that upstart insect! See you two next month, I'm going to deal with this blonde thorn in our sides once and for all!"

Malothian sprints from the announce desk as Sparky and Dustin shout after him. The Mindtaking Minion of Karrg sliding into the ring behind Kalliope and preparing to apply one of his Claw Variations. However, a change in Snark's expression clues in Kalliope to the ambush and allows her to dodge to the side, meaning an off-balance Malothian barrels into Snark and sends him tumbling from the ring. Steven Yale who had been crying into a handkerchief through all this suddenly snaps to and slides into the ring as we have our third unscheduled (but technically official) match of the night!

KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK VS MALOTHIAN

Any of the hesitance Kalli showed towards fighting Bucky-sorry, Buckminster was out the window when it came to the Malothian. Attacking the presumed right-hand minion (since that's where the claw is) of Karrg with reckless abandon, the normally cool and collected Malothian's desperation to succeed in Armada politics did not help him whatsoever either. With Snark looking on with an intense expression on the outside, Kalliope hit her ten-rotation headscissors to send Malothian smashing face-first into a corner, kipping up to take a moment to try and regain Snark's attention but getting the cold shoulder in return. This gave Malothian an opening to attack her from behind again and the vile invader attempted to wear his opponent down by applying a series of submission holds, targeting the legs in particular to try and cut off her more agile offense.

An errant shinbreaker made Kalliope fall directly next to where Snark was standing on the outside, leading to the two of them sharing a look before Malothian dragged her away while staring at Snark (a gesture that was very much returned with daggers in his gaze). This would cost Malothian in turn because his attempt at applying a figure four saw him kicked away into the ropes and caught in a roll up on the rebound for a nearfall. Kalliope clearly meant this more to disorient than to win as she met him on the way up with a knee strike to the gut that allowed her to smash him across the face with a Woodchipper that sent him slamming d own hard to the mat! As Kalliope made the cover, Snark just shook his head as the pinfall became academic.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK

Moments after the bell rang, Snark yanked Malothian from the ring and dragged him back from the ring, staring down Kalliope as she looked back at him with a mixture of clear hurt and growing contempt. The question of whether Snark would lay hands on her is made moot by the entry of a fourth party in to the equation:

Pink Spider rushed down to ringside and stood alongside the woman who saved him from the clutches of Karrg. The two tecnicos give Snark more than ample reason to simply drag his comrade to the back, looking over his shoulder one last time before disappearing into the back. Spider takes a moment to console Kalliope with an arm over the shoulder of his longtime rival, helping her to the back even as the fans cheered out their support for the embattled Woodchuck.

We cut backstage from that sordid scene to the sight of a stretcher being rolled down the corridors of the Reliquary, the body on it isn't focused on to identify who's being taken away but we can get an idea from the two people looking on.

"We are at a great disadvantage, Ms. Molly."

"I noticed, Buster. This is bad news, the paramedics said he's unlikely to ever wrestle again let alone tonight, those aliens are playing for keeps, and I haven't exactly got a replacement lined up. That Beetle put us in check and I don't see a way for us to get out of it."

"CHESS IS FOR NERRRRRRDDDDDSSSSSS!"

Buster:
"WHAT!? WHO SAID THAT!? HOW DARE YOU!"

Buster and Molly turn around to find themselves confronted with-

"I dunno if I agree with Auky's idea but he's got a point, if they're gonna cheat to getcha in check, it's time to change the game!"

"Yeah, like to 'How far I can shove the board up your-"

Molly:
"Excuse me but what do you three want?"

Buster:
"Be on your guard, Ms. Cuddle, these three are the notorious Crime Gang! The Gang of Crime!"

C-W-A:
"Oh good the name's stuck, just what I wanted to happen."

Buster:
"Do not test me, Clown, your history is well known and history is my 8th best subject!"

Cely:
"Ok ok everyone calm down! Yes, we're the Crime Gang, yes we're notorious, but we're also your friends!"

Molly:
"Lady that guy put me in a cage with a tiger!"

Cely:
"...teach, what the *honk*?"

C-W-A:
"IT WASN'T A LIVE ONE! IT WAS A PLUSHIE FOR BOZO'S SAKE!"

Molly:
"You did your best to make me think it was alive!"

Cely:
"OK! OK! Very mean-spirited pranks aside we have bigger fish to fry. We all know that if Karrg gets his hands on those belts of yours things are gonna go all kinds of wonky. I'm not even gonna propose you work with teach, or with me. What I'm suggesting is somebody who you know has a bone to pick with the Fleet specifically."

"PUT ME IN COACH, PUT ME IIIIIINNNNNNNN!"

Buster and Molly look at each other, Celestina, C-W-A, and Raider in turn before Molly sighs and shakes her head.

Molly:
"We don't seem to have a choice, fine. But if this breaks bad I'm holding you responsible."

Cely:
"Sick! Alright Raider, show 'em what you got!"

Raider:
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS! IT IS TIME! FOR PHYSICAL! EDUCATION!"

Molly:
"...y'know what, better name than I'd probably have come up with. Let's get go-IIIIINNNNG!!!!"

Raider scoops up Molly on his shoulder and begins running down the corridors! Brain Buster runs after them in pursuit!

Raider:
"LET'S GO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOACH!"

Buster:
"HEY COME BACK WE NEED TO MAKE A PLAN!"

Raider:
"PLANS ARE FOR NERRRRRRRRRRRDS!"

As Raider and Buster run off screen, Cely gives C-W-A a smug grin.

Cely:
"Toldja it'd work. Crime gang~"

C-W-A:
"Ugh...Crime Gang."

HARMONY TITLE MATCH


PHYSICAL EDUCATION (c?) VS THE ALIEN FLEET

Raider's exuberance led to a rare champions' first entrance. Technically speaking anyway considering he bowled over both Laguna and Man O'War who were mid-entrance with Molly on his shoulder and Buster running after them. The sheer dread on the face of the challengers was somehow palpable despite their masks as it became increasingly clear to them that their plan to use Beetle as a blunt instrument had backfired spectacularly, especially when Raider gently put Molly down and proceeded to run all the way back to them (past Buster) on the entranceway to nail them both with a flying shoulder tackle! Feeding on the energy of the crowd, Raider grabbed both rudos by the heads and walked them to the ring to toss them to Brain Buster on the inside who gave them a history lesson:

By which I mean he went absolutely medieval on them.

With both rudos getting knocked flat by blow after blow from one of the original members of the pair they were set to face tonight, Aukland came in to make them wish they'd just fought Stratos instead by tossing Manny into the ropes and holding him up on the cusp of a back body drop only to hook his legs and bring him back down into the world's most high angle manhattan drop! As Man O'War was left to ponder his reproductive future, Laguna was wishing he'd never been born as Buster was reviewing the flash cards of his fans at ringside and was chopping the alien fish the amount of times that matched the answers. Laguna unfortunately collapsed by the time Buster made it to the one asking for 10 x 10.

The rudo duo finally caught a break as Manny shoved Raider into Steven Yale which distracted the referee long enough for Laguna for a low blow on Buster and toss him from the ring. This allowed the battered baddies a moment to double team on Raider and get themselves some breathing room, even setting up the Anti-Human Device before Manny noticed Buster recovering and abandoned the planned spear to dive into the rising tecnico on the outside. Panicking at the planned move getting interrupted, Laguna attempted the Fish Hook but found his clothesline ducked and Raider wrenching away from him to attempt his own discus lariat! Laguna managed to dodge in turn and again went for the Fish Hook which was dodged as well! Discus! Dodge! Fish Hook! Dodge! Dodge! Dodge! Dodge!

They both finally staggered around dizzily before aiming stereo punches that whiffed entirely and dropped them both to the mat from the momentum.

Back on the outside, Manny smashed Buster's face into the fan guardrail, angrily grabbing for one of the flashcards and shoving it in his mouth in the same way Laguna did at Way of the Warrior. He immediately spat it out because he didn't find it as palatable as the alien fish, go figure. Still the rowdy rudo kept up his assault, taking a moment to jaw at Molly Cuddle before irish whipping Buster into a corner post and moving to toss him back into the ring. Resuscitating Laguna as best he could (read: slapping him in the face), Manny directed him that it was time for the Anchor Drop, climbing to the top rope and playing to the crowd that despite the setback the Fleet were about to regain their titles. What he didn't notice was Laguna in his dizzy haze grabbing the wrong opponent and the helmet wearing Raider being taken up for the move, realizing too late as he sailed through the air to deliver the spike piledriver that he was delivering it to the one member of the roster immune to such moves!

Furious at Laguna for the oversight, Manny turned around and found himself kicked in the gut by a recovered Buster who grabbed him by the tights and mask to smash him head first into Laguna and send him toppling from the ring! With the muscle of the team incapacitated, Manny was left alone to beg off from the two bruisers he'd had a hand in tormenting of late and quickly found himself the victim to a sandwiching lariat combo that put him down for the three count in this tagless tag bout (look Steve's been refereing by himself all ight cut him some slack)! Post match C-W-A and Celestina ran down to ringside to celebrate with Raider before all three looked to Buster and Molly with the Harmony belts. The more straightlaced tecnico duos looked at each other, then shared a nod as they handed over one of the belts to Raider who held it up with a triumph shout of 'CRIME GANG!' which his stablemates (along with the apparent new recruits) echoed.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL AND STILL (NEW?) HARMONY CHAMPIONS: PHYS ED.
(DEFENSE...3? 1? Ehhhh...)

Sparky:
"REMARKABLE, THE UNEASY ALLIANCE WITH THE CRIME GANG PAYS DIVIDENDS IMMEDIATELY FROM THE ORPHANED REMAINS OF SKY'S THE LIMIT!"

Dustin:
"In times of war there's little room for scruples, let's hope Molly can let bygones be bygones with C-W-A despite the years of sadistic shenanigans."

Sparky:
"Fans we're left with one final matchup tonight, a Master Title...sparring match?"

Dustin:
"Can we even call this a match? From what I've seen Karrg owns Jack body and soul at this point."

Sparky:
"We can only hold out hope that there's some remnant of Jack still in there, Dustin, perhaps being in the ring in front the fans will remind him who he truly is."

Dustin:
"We can only hope, Sparky, we can only hope..."

ZEN MASTER TITLE MATCH


KARRG THE ETERNAL(c) VS PUMPKIN JACK

Karrg's 'title match' seemed more along the lines of a show of force to begin with, effortlessly battering around a dazed and defenseless Pumpkin Jack in a ruthless and brutal manner before a disquieted crowd. Forcing Jack to kneel before his onslaught, Karrg casually hit the mafia kick and pinned his 'opponent'. However as Steven Yale made the count, Karrg snapped his fingers and Jack kicked out at 2.9, a fact that Karrg seemed to delight in as he picked Jack back up and seemingly began to bark orders at him. On command Jack began to punch and kick at Karrg to a few cheers from the crowd but it was very clear the majority knew something was off as Karrg bounced around the ring like a pinball for the man he enthralled at Way of the Warrior while cackling maniacally. Finally he ceased Jack's 'comeback' with a boot to the belly and a set up for a Conquest Bomb...

Only he failed to lift him the first time. Then the second. Finally he got Jack up on the third attempt and looked keen to end this farce- only for Jack to suddenly hit him with a hurricanrana and put him down for a nearfall! Karrg scrambled up in something of a shocked state as Jack suddenly unleashed a more concerted flurry of his martial arts kicks that sent Karrg stumbling from the ring and open wide for a tornillo to the outside! Rising to cheers from the crowd, Jack looked around and beat his chest furiously before advancing on Karrg who backed away up the entranceway in terror. Grasping him by an outstretched hand, Jack irish whipped Karrg all the way down to the ring with the ZEN Master champion rolling in and trying to crawl away as Jack slid into the ring and advanced, arm raised.

"KYAAAAAAA-HAK-HAK-HAK!"

In a second the momentum halted like a cartoon coyote hitting a brick wall. Karrg hacking cackle filled the Reliquary as he held up his hand and stopped Jack in his tracks. There seems to be a moment or two of the hero of ZEN struggling against the bounds of his momentary freedom before Karrg formed his hand into a fingergun and 'fired', causing Jack to collapse onto his back! Shaking his head and laughing like a lunatic, Karrg waggled his finger at the audience, advancing on the struggling form of the Tricky Treat before yanking him up and shouting in his face:

"BACK IN YOUR CAGE YOU FOOL!"

Before lifting him up and smashing him to the mat with a Conquest Bomb. Pinning the former ZEN Master, Karrg couldn't help cackle in the face of Steven Yale who miraculously didn't get clobbered over the course of the horrible farce this match became.

WINNER VIA PINFALL AND STILL ZEN MASTER CHAMPION: KARRG THE ETERNAL
(DEFENSE #7)

Sparky:
"What a vile display by the champion here, getting the hopes of the fans up like that."

Dustin:
"Wait did he really do all that or did Jack break free? I can't begin to understand how this works..."

Sparky:
"All you need to know, Dustin, is that Jack isn't getting out from under the thumb of this maniac any time soon. Oh come on this is just getting absurd-"

As a final show of his dominance over the mind of Pumpkin Jack, Karrg seems to mentally puppeteer him over to Steven Yale to yank the title belt away and threaten to hit him with it before turning around to award it to Karrg himself. The final image of Way of the Spy is Jack dropping to one knee before the ZEN Master as Karrg holds the title high with his awful cackle signing us off...

[Teasenitryn]

CRIME GANG!

Another excellent show, the tournament and what our outlaws plan is intriguing. I like that Hez got through to Vortex indirectly through using his words to another, that's some nice storytelling, as is Malothian's emotions costing Karrg again, there are going to be issues there.

Karrg is playing with fire, Cyanide might be licking his wounds but sooner or later he is going to get more pissed than despondent and that is without the movements on the game board we are actually seeing from others.

[alpha2117]

Yeah that just happened.

In love with this.

 

[Teasenitryn]

I love that Snark is playing the long game, he knows he has a very thin line to toe but he is using the truth and the actions of others to destabilise them, both in calling out that Malothian cost them the situation with Kalliope last week and the casual and here I thought the guy in charge was he on the throne. I only hope that he can get some kind of message through to Kalliope that there is more to this situation than he can tell her.

Edited Tuesday at 06:12 PM by Teasenitryn

[Pteroid]

ARMADA TRANSMISSION

MIGHTY KARRG TO HOST 'CONQUEROR'S CUP' TOURNAMENT FOR WAY OF THE DEAD

REJOICE PLEBEIAN VERMIN FOR THE GRAND IDEABRAIN OF MIGHTY KARRG HAS GIVEN IMMACULATE BIRTH TO A GLORIOUS NEW CONCEPT FOR TO ENTERTAIN THE SOON-TO-BE-EXTERMINATED MASSES! THE CONQUEROR'S CUP IS AN 8-ENTITY TOURNAMENT WITH THE GRAND PRIZE OF LOSING A MASTER TITLE MATCH TO MIGHTY KARRG! WHAT WONDER, WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY (TO BE DESTROYED BY OUR GLORIOUS LEADER)! PLEASE STAND BY AFTER THE CARD FOR A VERY SPECIAL KARRG-O-VISION WITH DETAILED PROFILES ON ALL EIGHT POTENTIAL SACRIFICES!

TAG TEAM ACTION SET FOR WAY OF THE DEAD

ELSEWHERE IN THE CARD WE SHALL SEE THE ALLIANCE OF BUCKMINSTER SNARK AND THE MALOTHIAN DO BATTLE WITH THE VILE PAPER SPIDER AND KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK. BUCKMINSTER HAS DECLARED HIS ALLEGIANCE TO MIGHTY KARRG AND SAVED BRAVE MALOTHIAN FROM THE CLUTCHES OF THE HORRID REBELS, AS SUCH KARRG HAS PLACED THE TWO INTO A TEAM TO PUT AN END TO THE HUMAN MENACE! KARRG TOO HAS STATED THAT THIS MATCH MAY HAVE TITLE IMPLICATIONS IF EITHER OF HIS BRAVE MINIONS MANAGE TO PROVE THEMSELVES VALIANT AND VICTORIOUS!

SPECIAL NEW LUCHADOR TO DEBUT IN CONQUEROR'S CUP

THE ARMADA WAR CHEST HAS GROWN GREATLY THIS DAY AS THE INFLUENTIAL PALE HORSE COMICS HAS APPROACHED MIGHTY KARRG ABOUT DEBUTING A SPONSORED LUCHADOR IN THE CONQUEROR'S CUP. IT WOULD APPEAR THE REALM OF ZEN HAD DEALINGS WITH THEM 8 YEARS AGO BY ALLOWING A 'HAEMOGOBLIN' TO WRESTLE ON THIS SAME EVENT AGAINST PUMPKIN JACK. THIS GO AROUND IT IS A GIRL POWER REBOOT OF SOME KIND WITH THE SAME CHARACTER, A SHAEMOGOBLIN IF YOU WILL! WE ARE TOLD WE SHOULD NOT CALL HER THAT IF WE WANT THE COMICALLY LARGE SUITCASE OF MONEY WE WERE OFFERED. HAEMOGOBLIN 2 IT IS!

WAY OF THE DEAD

FEATURING THE CONQUEROR'S CUP TOURNAMENT!

ROUND 1 MATCHES:

AUKLAND RAIDER VS DEVILFISH
TREVOR FEATHER VS A HANDPICKED OPPONENT
ZERO VS THE HAEMOGOBLIN 2
BLACK FLASH VS CELESTINA CHERISH

ROUND 2:
M1 VS M2
M3 VS M4

FINAL ROUND:
M1/2 VS M3/4

ALSO FEATURING:
BUCKMINSTER SNARK & THE MALOTHIAN VS KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK & PINK PAPER SPIDER

Edited Tuesday at 10:48 PM by Pteroid

[daddy_shelton]

Okay you had to make me think about this one but I think I have my idea.

 

AUKLAND RAIDER VS DEVILFISH

LOSING IS FOR NERDS!

TREVOR FEATHER VS A HANDPICKED OPPONENT

I don't know who it's gonna be, but it's not gonna be fun for whoever it is.

ZERO VS THE HAEMOGOBLIN 2

Big suitcase of money or not, Zero is not to be taken lightly.

BLACK FLASH VS CELESTINA CHERISH

CRIME GANG!

AUKLAND RAIDER VS TREVOR FEATHER

This smarmy little weasel has too many tricks up his sleeve. He may fight like a nerd, but he can outsmart Raider.

ZERO VS CELESTINA CHERISH

Gotta admit this one felt like the hardest to justify but my booker brain says that one tecnico has to make the finals and Cely SOMEHOW had the best path to it, barring a surprise on Trevor's first match.

TREVOR FEATHER VS CELESTINA CHERISH

Mother. *honk*in'. Crime. Gang.

BUCKMINSTER SNARK & THE MALOTHIAN VS KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK & PINK PAPER SPIDER

Oh there's no way in hell Malothian can coexist with a tag partner he's not mind controlling.

[neslo024]

Just want to say I'm absolutely in love with this diary. I've been following since the beginning and it just gets better and better.

[alpha2117]

WAY OF THE DEAD

FEATURING THE CONQUEROR'S CUP TOURNAMENT!

ROUND 1 MATCHES:

AUKLAND RAIDER VS DEVILFISH
TREVOR FEATHER VS A HANDPICKED OPPONENT
ZERO VS THE HAEMOGOBLIN 2
BLACK FLASH VS CELESTINA CHERISH

ROUND 2:
M1 VS M2
M3 VS M4

FINAL ROUND:
M1/2 VS M3/4

ALSO FEATURING:
BUCKMINSTER SNARK & THE MALOTHIAN VS KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK & PINK PAPER SPIDER

Thoughts: I think Cherish v Feather just makes the most sense narrative wise here and Feather losing would be the right way to go to annoy Kaarg.  The Woodchuck Snark stuff is golden and having that continue with hints of Snark going full face need to continue but the trigger wont be pulled yet. Having the Armada have a setback here but perhaps still having storyline wins feels right. 

Edited Wednesday at 12:56 AM by alpha2117

[Tiberious]

FEATURING THE CONQUEROR'S CUP TOURNAMENT!

ROUND 1 MATCHES:

AUKLAND RAIDER VS DEVILFISH

Aukland Raider has been steadily rising up the card throught the Dynasty and Devilfish has been mostly putting people over, so I think the trend continues here.

TREVOR FEATHER VS A HANDPICKED OPPONENT

Feather has been getting a push the last couple shows so it makes sense for him to win here.

ZERO VS THE HAEMOGOBLIN 2

I know Zero is a former ZEN Master, but the idea of a comics sponsored Luchador sounds fun and a win here would establish her being a big deal immediately.

BLACK FLASH VS CELESTINA CHERISH

Cherish has been one of the most entertaining characters on the roster so I think she takes it here and takes the whole tournament.

ROUND 2:
Aukland Raider vs Trevor Feather
Haemogoblin 2 VS Celestina Cherish

FINAL ROUND:
Trevor Feather vs Celestina Cherish

ALSO FEATURING:
BUCKMINSTER SNARK & THE MALOTHIAN VS KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK & PINK PAPER SPIDER

This could go either way, especially with Snark & Malothian not getting along, but I think Snark scores a big win here to establish his value to Karrg and set up him and Malothian as challengers for Paper Spider's belt.

[Teasenitryn]

ROUND 1 MATCHES:

AUKLAND RAIDER VS DEVILFISH
TREVOR FEATHER VS A HANDPICKED OPPONENT
ZERO VS THE HAEMOGOBLIN 2
BLACK FLASH VS CELESTINA CHERISH

ROUND 2:
Aukland Raider VS Trevor Feather
Haemogoblin 2 VS Celestina Cherish

FINAL ROUND:
Trevor Feather VS Haemogoblin 2

ALSO FEATURING:
BUCKMINSTER SNARK & THE MALOTHIAN VS KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK & PINK PAPER SPIDER

 

I am thinking that Haemogoblin 2 is maybe going to be Hez, so I am backing her to go all the way before she is revealed, could be wrong but the outlaws did say in their cutscene that they would need to be sneaky to take advantage of knowing of the tournament.

As for the tag match, Snark is on thin ice, I suspect he will have to start proving his worth or Karrg will get impatient over the threat he is holding over Snark, however Snark being there does mean he will in some way prevent Malothian from mind warping Kalliope and he can even do that straight out because his deal with Karrg was that he is there to run interference, Karrg's own words were she doesn't need to be hurt, much less taken out. I also suspect that cracks are going to form between Malothian and Karrg and that not having Malothian will be part of Karrg's eventual downfall, so Karrg siding with the puppet that he forced Malothian to free? That's a whole lot of friction right there.

Edited Wednesday at 05:09 PM by Teasenitryn

[AboardTheArk]

ROUND 1 MATCHES:

AUKLAND RAIDER VS DEVILFISH
TREVOR FEATHER VS A HANDPICKED OPPONENT
ZERO VS THE HAEMOGOBLIN 2
BLACK FLASH VS CELESTINA CHERISH

ROUND 2:
AUCKLAND RAIDER VS TREVOR FEATHER 
ZERO VS CELESTINA CHERISH

FINAL ROUND:
TREVOR FEATHER VS CELESTINA CHERISH

Ι think this is what is going on, Cherish has been winning more than what I thought of her positioning on the card and would be a great filler defense. I see she's a popular pick but that probably means it makes sense and you've been booking well!

ALSO FEATURING:
BUCKMINSTER SNARK & THE MALOTHIAN VS KALLIOPE WOODCHUCK & PINK PAPER SPIDER

Kalliope is either finishing the dynasty undefeated or has one heartwrenching deadly loss.

[Eugh]

So logic says Haemoglobin 2 is Hez, and therefore is likely to go all the way. But that kind of seems too obvious. I could see that, which Karrg rumbles, but where “Zero” or “Black Flash” turns out to have HalloWarped (or Vortex) under the mask, and that was the crazy part of the plan.

Excited to see where it goes.

Edited Wednesday at 05:03 PM by Eugh

[Pteroid]

MUCH LIKE HOW THE DADDY YAK TEACHES ITS CHICKS IT IS TIME TO LEARN!

"yeS helLO I am YUg mANbuD aND WElCOMe to KARRGoVISION wiTH spECIl guEST duSTIN ThANe!"

"...I wanna go home. Why are you dripping!?"

Yug:
"ha HAHAH ho. yOU are a FUNNy littLE boy, wOULd you like a swEET?"

Dustin:
"I AM A GROWN MAN!"

Yug:
"ReALLY? thEY gREw me TOO!"

Dustin facepalms and holds a chair between himself and the so-called Yug Manbud as he addresses the camera.

Dustin:
"Okay so I've been forced here with this awful thing to let you all know about the contestants in the Conqueror's Cup! As ZEN's leading historian I have insights into-well most of the competitors in this tournament and I'm happy to give a profile. LESS HAPPY ABOUT THIS THING BEING HERE THOUGH!"

Yug:
"Glrrrgggghhghghgh..."

Dustin:
"In the interest of me getting out of here as quickly and intact as possible, let's get started! Back! BACK, MANBUD! BACK I SAY!"

DEVILFISH, THE DEEP SEA DESPERADO

Devilfish has had a storied career in ZEN as a longtime rival of Halloween Knight's F.E.A.R faction in the early days and a multiple time ZEN Master. In more recent years -depite his relatively young age- Fish has had less opportunities to vie for the top title with his last shot being one against ZERO back in the early days of his reign. Given the chance to return to prominence after his betrayal by Lone Shark and subsequent rescue by Kalliope Woodchuck, will Devilfish be the savior ZEN needs after Karrg's hostile takeover?

Comments from the Contender:
"A tournament like this feels like swimmin' upstream with a load of hungry bears trying to catch me in their jaws, but if I'm gonna put things right, it's gonna start here!"

 

AUKLAND RAIDER, THE GRIDIRON GOD

Coming into the Realm of ZEN as an unstoppable brute, Aukland Raider's zest for pure athletic competition and hard hitting offense ended up winning over the ZEN Faithful. Two months ago Aukland Raider became a founding member of Celestina Cherish's Crime Gang and it's already paid dividends with him stepping in to become a Harmony champion alongside Brain Buster to successfully defeat The Alien Fleet. Can this runaway freight train of a luchador keep that momentum going into the Cup and take down Karrg himself?

Comments from the Contender:
"WHEN I WIN, I'M GOIN' TO PACKERLAND! REVERIELAND!? A THEME PARK!!!!!"

 

TREVOR FEATHER, THE PREENING PEACOCK

Trevor Feather's career was long tied to that of running buddy Pink Spider, with his highest accolade out of the Harmony Division being a near year-long reign as Conceptual Champion that was ended by Kalliope Woodchuck. However this all changed when Trevor turned on Cyanide and managed to bring Guru Vishni (then revealed to be ZEN Councilman, The Liar) to Karrg as a bounty, being granted 'favored nation' status in the aftermath as thanks from the Overlord. This has extended to him being allowed to handpick his opponent which will no doubt grant him an advantage in the first round.

Comments from the Contender:
"Let these other buffoons try and climb the mountain, a peacock like me will trot the primrose path all the way to the winner's circle."

 

THE HANDPICKED OPPO-

"WHY THE CRAP DO I GOTTA LAY DOWN FOR THAT PINK HAIRED PRETTY BOY!?"

"...is this a serious question? Because the serious answer is I own you, you are a property person."

Booster looks positively mutinous, arms folded before the leader of the Alien Armada who seems downright amused by his outburst.

Booster:
"Can't one of these other goons do it? I've been nothing but helpful to you guys! I fixed your genetic thingamabob, I've improved your cryo-jails to use even less power than they were before, I've even been answering the door to pick up fish-face's god awful anchovy and gummy worm pizzas!"

Laguna looks up with a slice of the offending 'za in his mouth.

Booster:
"So why can't one of these other screwups do it!?"

Karrg:
"Snark and Malothian are needed elsewhere, Lone Shark was meant to face the fish but has given me a doctor's note he clearly wrote himself, and I have sent Man O'War and Beetle to the rear echelon for scheming without my permission and making everything worse. Speaking of...how goes decoding of the Vertigo impersonator's device? I would hope some good can come of those two's little debacle."

Booster:
"It...well it's slow going but I've been able to pry out some information-wait hang on, that's another thing I'm good at, so why am I getting used as a warm body to throw in front of Prince Preen?"

Karrg:
"Boy Boost, you must learn to consider the bigger picture. I put you here because the Feather does not fear you, he will simply pin you and you can return to your more important work. The time is fast approaching that I need you intact and prepared to ensure my ascension goes smoothly. Now, the information."

Karrg's patronizing tone takes a darker turn at that last bit, meaning he'll brook no more digression and Booster coughs a bit before complying.

Booster:
"I've gotten some info out of it, the actual terms of the ritual in plain English rather than crappy poem. We need those belts, we need to do it at Dreamer or Warrior, and all of them have to be present with their holders consenting. It seems ZEN -and I mean ZEN as in whatever this whole league was a front for- was experimenting with using energy siphoned from the chaotic energies our dimension orbits to facilitate intergalactic travel in our own plane of reality. It's...genius, really-"

Karrg:
"I am painfully aware of what they were doing with it, what I want to know is can we do it?"

Booster:
"Ahem, yes yes sorry, provided we have the titles we can do it. But if we don't-"

Karrg:
"We will."

Booster:
"But if we don't-"

Karrg looms over Booster who cuts himself off and backs away.

Booster:
"Y'know what it's nothing, we'll be fine. Just uh...go back to counting that money the Canadian comic company sent!"

Karrg:
"I shall. It is colorful and has upon it a dignified mustached man."

Booster:
"Hope the exchange rate is in our favor..."

-and that is an itemized list of who Trevor's opponent could possibly be. Personally I'm hoping it's Monday Next.

Comments from the Contender:
[Nothing.]

 

ZERO, THE RENEGADE RUDO

Nearly as long tenured in ZEN as Devilfish, ZERO was the first member of the roster to become a triple crown champion by having reigns with the Master, Conceptual, and Harmony titles. This, however, happened in happier times and ZERO's second reign with the Master belt was one that turned the realm of ZEN into his personal Darwinistic fiefdom that tested the soul as much as the body (we've still not been able to revert his change that removed lucha tag rules). Should this miserable misanthrope reclaim the Master title, it may be even worse than living under Karrg...

Comments from the Contender:
"..."

 

THE HAEMOGOBLIN 2, MYSTERIOUS GUEST GRAPPLER

Eight years ago ZEN and Canadian indy comics darling Pale Horse entered into a one-off partnership that saw their popular HaemoGoblin character leap off the page and into the realm of ZEN for a special match at Way of the Dead. Locking horns with Pumpkin Jack at the behest of Halloween Knight, the Goblin was nevertheless sent packing back to his anti-heroic home never to be seen again. It would seem Pale Horse is interested in Round Two with ZEN and this new HaemoGoblin is taking up the sword of the previous one that has since passed away due to the machinations of his nemesis The CarcinoGeneticist. What would it even mean for a comic character to hold the Master Title? Hopefully an improvement.

Comments from the Contender:
"I Am The HaemoGoblin. Gree-Hee. Hee-Hee. Hee."

 

BLACK FLASH, THE ENTHRALLED ATHLETE

Former Revolution Australian Wrestling star Black Flash debuted with an impressive victory over Booster Boy. However, a few months later he would fall victim to an imperfect Malothian Claw and find himself the unwilling thrall of the merciless mind-taker. With his malevolent master no doubt at ringside to provide commentary it seems likely that he may have more than a little 'motivation' to propel himself to new heights. Then again considering he'd be compelled to lay down for Karrg should he reach said heights, it seems like a very unappealing prospect.

Comments from the Contender:
"I hate these stupid islands. I hate this stupid company. I hate everything. I wanna go home."

 

CELESTINA CHERISH, CLOWN PRINCESS OF CRIME (and gangs thereof)

Trailblazer, Clown, Criminal Mastermind (Mistressmind?), just some of the words you'd use to describe Celestina Cherish who exploded into the Realm of ZEN back in 2021 with an irrepressible attitude and an odd ability to find allies in the strangest of places. Pressed into battle against the Armada through discovering the ability of clown noses to block the Malothian's Claw and the subsequent vendetta the owner of said claw developed or her and C-W-A. Now a massive thorn in the side of the Karrg as the leader of the ragtag rebel force known as the Crime Gang, could she go all the way in this tournament and drive that thorn into Karrg's heart?

Comments from the Contender:
"Two of our squad in this tournament, two chances to take it all home for ZEN! I'll go through Flashes, Numbers, Goblins, AND Peacocks if I gotta! See ya in the finals, Aukky! Crime Gang!"

 

Yug:
"WeLl! waSN't thAt intERESTing!? WhAt an EXCIting shOW aWAIts at WaY of THE deaD!"

Dustin:
"Yeah, really great, can I go now?"

Yug:
"YeS! YEs! ThE doOR wilL uNLock afTER I meLT coMPLEtelY."

Dustin:
"You. WHAT."

The camera cuts away as a loud squelching sound is heard.

Dustin:
"OH GOD! LET ME OUT! LET ME OOOOOUT!"

[Teasenitryn]

Poor Dustin, something tells me he will never be the same.

Oh well!

CRIME GANG!

[Big Roguey]

CRIME GANG