T.N.E. (Cornellverse)

BuddyGarner · January 15, 2007

34 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 2 May 2007: Citizen X is cleaning some things up in an apartment. Dermot O' Logical is helping him out. Dermot: So J.K., how's life as Citizen X? X: Great! Random people come up to me and give me envelopes full of money and pictures of things I'd never thought I'd see. Dermot: Aren't you worried about being involved in a conspiracy you can't handle? X: Not at all. I'm from the future I've already seen all the horrible scandals that come to life. Dermot: Well, about reforming the HGC...listen the Russian Roulette competition is coming up and I'm facing tough competition against Jerry Martin and I'm going to be pretty occupied. If you need my help with anything, now's the time. X: Naw, I'm good. With Citizen X's resources, I should become the owner of this fed in no time. And then HGC will be reborn, Tommy Cornell versus Sean McFly will happen and the future will be bright. Dermot: Well money isn't everything. X: No but I know the HGC booking style. I could make Onji Taka****a versus Cameron Vessey, that's a match that happened in my timeline. I'd just book two in ring promos and then book a six minute match and boom my promotions over. I've just got to get in charge of this fed. Dermot: Well, good luck! Dermot O' Logical leaves. E+ Undefeated enters the ring. Undefeated: Last week, the wrestling community was taking by storm. I violated a trademark move. Too bad. Get used to it. The Hiroyuki Bomb is the objectively best top rope move. I've already mastered all the non-trademark moves. Trademarked moves are the logical progression to up my game. Now many of you may be wondering who could possibly beat me when so many people in the wrestling world only have one or two finishers and lack decent moves from at least one position. The answer is nobody can beat me. I mean most wrestlers are pathetic compared to me it doesn't help that their movesets are pathetic as well. So I have a great moveset. Then there's the fact that I have one better than a Samoan Skull, the metal plate in my head. Then there's the fact that I have what some in the wrestling world call Undead Selling where I get right back up after some moves. Not to mention that I get Adrenaline Rushes and sometimes shrug off people's finishers. Then there's the fact that I have a very small size but yet have the moveset and ability to shrug off moves of a giant. Yet, all that and despite the fact that I've already beaten him several times people are saying that Onji Taka****a can still give me a run for my money. Burning EXILE...you changed your first name to Burning. But yet you were still underrated for your talent. You thought it was because your last name encourage people to well take a crap. How many people in the wrestling world said you were Onji Take a **** Ah? This is no knock to you as a wrestler. If it wasn't for me, you'd probably be the most Athletic wrestler in the world right now. I don't care if you're not that well known in the United States. I want to fight the best guys even if nobody knows who the hell you are. Tonight, I have a match against Keith friggin Jericho. Somebody who can't even wrestle. But yet he's well known in the United States so I have to face him to reach the top. So, yeah out of respect, you're the number one contender. So, any time, any place. Burning EXILE, we'll go. D(10min) The Don takes Undefeated's microphone away. The Don: Last week, Aristocrat mentioned something about holding elections for a commissioner. I think this is a great idea. I'm all for free speech. I couldn't care less about what they have to say though. So go ahead and vote. I'll just ignore your results. People are starting to ask me: When are we going to see you compete in an over-the-top rope match? At 5'6" and over 1500lbs I should be unbeatable. I'm one of the best point sparrers in the business. I'm a great striker who knows how to manipulate a judges score card. Unfortunately I've never had a chance to show it. Now at 40 years of age and with several nagging injuries I want my chance. The easiest way to win the game is to change the rules, change the game. After losing a match in MAW and losing my match against Undefeated I realized that I suck at ordinary wrestling. I have absolutely no Stamina and all I can do is jab. So here's how I'm going to change the rules. I'm going to face tall skinny guys in over the top rope battle royals. It should be easy for me to clothesline them over. The problem is I can't think of any tall skinny guys. But it doesn't matter, my physical attributes make me so suited to an over the top rope match I think I can beat anybody. So if anybody wants to challenge me, go ahead, I'm the uncrowned champion. Now, I also want to say a few more words about Aristocrat's election about my booking plans for this fed. Now that Undefeated has turned against me, I really don't care. In fact, if anyone wants to be head booker go ahead. Book the other losers however you feel like. I'll have total creative control over myself of course and what I say goes. You get the gist. Oh, and some people have been calling me The Godfather. I hate kids. And some people have also been complaining about how the matches are too insense. I don't care. If your children are traumatized by our intense matches send them to the psychiatrist. And just so you know I've never seen a psychiatrist, I don't have panic attacks, and I don't like eating watermellons. The Don throws the microphone on the ground and steps on it. E(10min, crowd's mood down) Speedy Giant Gonzales watches Dharma Gregg change. Bulldozer Brandon Smith taps Gonzales on the shoulder. Smith: Listen, I've listened to some of the things you've had to say and I think you can be a good guy. I think you want to be a good guy. The first step is just to help save Keith Jericho in his match tonight. If his heart rate goes over to 180 beats per minute he'll die. Gonzales: I do want to be a good guy and I will save Keith Jericho. If you leave right now I'll get to work. Smith: I knew you had it in you. You're the ref you can do a lot. Brandon Smith leaves. Gonzales continues watching Dharma Gregg blissfully. E+(2min) Undeafeted and Keith Jericho are in the ring. Keith Jericho looks terrified. The Don is reffing. CROWD: Keith is crap! Keith is crap! Undefeated applies a hammerlock for ten seconds on Keith then switches to a hammerlock kick. Then pushes Keith Jericho into the ropes. Swinging Rope Blast connects. Then Undefeated lands a J-sault on Keith Jericho. Rock Downpour: Oh my god! It's the J-sault, a slingshot moonsault from the tallest rope rather than the second one. He stole another trademarked move! PINFALL... 1...2...3! E(3min, crowd crapped all over Keith Jericho) Show Rating: E Notes: Undefeated's popularity has risen to D in the Great Lakes. His respect is now F+ Burning EXILE's momentum is E+ Keith Jericho's popularity in the great lakes has fallen from D- to E+ Storyline Heat: The angle with Bulldozer Brandon Smith despite being E+ resulted in that storyline having a heat of D- Advance booking: Matt Sparrow versus Undefeated-E- Captain USA versus Undefeated-E-

Adam Ryland · January 15, 2007

It's good to see you starting to pack the Ohio Jewish Center. I was beginning to think it only had a capacity for 20 people at one point :)

BuddyGarner · January 16, 2007

33 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 3 May 2007: (All angles and matches are five minutes unless otherwise stated) Dermot O'Logical is in the ring with a mic. O'Logical: As a lot of people know, the Russian Roulette World Championships are coming up and everybody knows that Jerry Martin is my number one competitor. Who's going to be better at Russian Roulette a psycopath or a gambler? The gambler. The psycopath would gladly be the one whose shot fires a real bullet because his brain is just wired that way. But the gambler wants to win. Some people may say that Russian Roulette doesn't require skill. They're wrong. The gambler can control fate, the gambler can control destiny. The gambler knows when a lucky streak is coming. Each time I won the RRWC I knew I was going to win beforehand and I know my luck is top notch. I could beat Undefeated right now I could do anything. So Jerry Martin here's what I propose...you and me we take turns jumping off a steel cage onto thumb tacks and then we'll really know who's going to able to fire that gun without hesitation. I have the guts to jump long before you do. In fact I can't stand being here and not making a gamble so I'm going to leave the building and go play some chicken on the railroad tracks. Smell you later. F+ The Scientist is in his laboratory watching Bulldozer Brandon Smith on a monitor when Cherry Bomb enters. Bomb: I have a proposal for you. Scientist: You couldn't beat Undefeated when you promised you would I'm hesitant to listen to anything you have to say right now. Bomb: That's the thing I think we should forget The Don and join Undefeated. You had to have repaired Undefeated for a reason. The Don is on a sinking ship, everybody wants his spot and he couldn't get the job done with Undefeated. Scientist: Nobodies going to take The Don's spot and Undefeated will lose eventually. If we can get top guys in there against him he'll lose eventually. Bomb: None of the top guys even care about our fed, let's face it, Undefeated is rising rapidly torwards success don't you want to be on that rocket. Scientist: What do we even have to offer him? Undefeated has done most of his own work in picking opponents and designing his moveset and strategies. He doesn't need me as his mouthpiece and he doesn't really need me to interfere. Bomb: Undefeated will do whatever it takes to win. He wants to win by a large margin. If he has a manager to help him interfere he can win matches a lot faster and can more quickly rise to the top. There's no drawback to having a manager basically. Scientist: The Don can come after us. Bomb: The Don will never touch you as long as he thinks you might have a way to destroy Undefeated. Scientist: I know you're right I've been so lost trying to work against him when for so long I have been working for him. Bomb: I'll contact you when I'm ready to make a move. Cherry Bomb leaves. E+ Bulldozer Brandon Smith is on his cellphone in his locker room. Smith(to the cellphone): You find Sayeed Ali and the terrorist attacks stop! No more presidential pardons! I'll have to kill him! Agent 69 enters carrying a file in her hands. 69: Knock! Knock! Smith instantly hangs up the phone. Smith: What do you want? 69: I'm here to give you the files on The Don to help you put him away. Smith: The Don isn't a terrorist, I'll hand the files over to the FBI. 69: I won't give you the files if you do that and The Don is involved in terrorism which you'd know if you'd look at the files. Smith grabs the folder from Agent 69. Smith: I know you helped Sayeed Ali and Jerry Martin in the attacks. You get them to stop and I'll cut you a deal. I'll give you the location of the man who was responsible for the death of your entire team. 69: You beat Undefeated in a match and terrorist attacks stop. Smith: You're telling me you care more about some stupid wrestling match then vengeance? 69: You're right. I know you're a man of your word. I'm on it. Agent 69 rushes out. E Undefeated is in the ring with a mic. Undefeated: J.K. Stallings the Third in the body of Citizen X, trying to reform HGC in case you and the audience didn't know. I thought I would throw you losers an expositional bone. Let me explain to you why bringing the HGC booking style would be bad for T.N.E. Twenty one minute interviews would score great and would probably propel us to the top of the ratings charts. First we'd need a top interviewer and an interviewee and his manager. Without the manager we'd only be able to get 19 minutes. But it's just morally wrong. Sure the T.N.E. plotlines haven't gone well with the crowd but who cares about them? Can you really book the same events over and over with good conscience? So Citizen X I'm offering you a match. I'm giving you a chance that you would deny by booking Bryan Vessey versus Tommy Cornell over and over again. I'm giving you a chance to get over. If you accept this match then you have to promise that you'll never try to bring HGC to TNE. The Minor Annoyance as President is not going to fix anything. The robots are going to win. Hell Undefeatable versus Marc DuBois would score better than Cornell versus McFly anyways. Undefeatable is one of my new nicknames. I mean you can have never fought in the ring before and be Undefeated, Undefeatable is a more accurate description. I'll sweeten the pot. If you promise to never book this fed like HGC I'll even help you fight against the robots! Then we'll know where your loyalties really are. But anyways, I have a match tonight versus Matt Sparrow and Captain USA. I don't have to tell the audience that their move set is lacking and their not as good as me. I promise to never criticize my opponents again as it's pretty apparent that I'm better than them. I'm going to be talking on this mic a lot so I better try to come up with creative things to say. My topic is going to be people who incorporate MMA moves in matches. For example, some people incorporate say the Anaconda Vice or the Kokima Clutch. You people suck. MMA is about guard and half guard and everything in between. The end submission is irrelevant! If you want to incorporate an MMA move in your arsenal incorporate effective striking and grappling and sprawling. Nobody cares about your finishing moves which are all indifferent from one another. Well I've gotta walk over two stepping stones, bring em on! C-(9min) Captain USA enters the ring. Speedy Giant Gonzales is the ref. Undefeated takes Captain USA down with a few Kikkawa forearms. He then applies a Lucha Bow and Arrow and then a camel clutch. Captain USA taps out. Undefeated: Next!!!! D-(3min, crowd down) Captain USA rolls out of the ring and Matt Sparrow rolls into it. Undefeated hits some Kikkawa forearms but when he goes for the surfboard Matt Sparrow reaches the ropes. Undefeated tries another Kikkawa forearm but Matt Sparrow counters with an eye gouge. Matt Sparrow applies a side headlock for 10 seconds then hits a Belly to Belly Suplex. He reigns down a mounted punch flurry but Undefeated eventually counters with a low blow. Undefeated applies a Lucha Bow and Arrow but when he attempts to transition into a camel clutch Matt Sparrow counters with a low blow of his own. Matt Sparrow tries a mounted punch flurry but Undefeated counters with a low blow followed by a cradle. Speedy Giant Gonzales refuses to count the pinfall since he saw the low blow. Undefeated tries a Double Underhook Bomb on Sparrow but Sparrow counters with a dropkicksault. Sparrow attempts a splash on Undefeated. It misses. Figure Four Stranglehold on Sparrow. Undefeated uses the ropes for leverage but the ref doesn't see it. Submission.... Matt Sparrow taps out. D-(3min, crowd down) Show Rating: E+ Advance Booking: Burning EXILE v Undefeated-F

BuddyGarner · January 21, 2007

32 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 4 2007: The Don prepares to cut an in-ring promo. The Don: A lot of people have been criticizing me for having the porn star Dharma Gregg on my roster. In fact it's been one of the focal points of Aristocrats campaign for Authority Figure of T.N.E. Yes, there is a plan for Dharma Gregg to get in the ring at some point. Dharma Gregg is not representative of any of the other porn stars I have starring in my flims. She is a true degenerate. Which is sort of a shame because some of the audience that thinks she's hot is sort of grossed out by some of the things she does in her films. The upcoming film with Des Davids will be her first normal film. But enough about her film career, I want to talk about why Dharma Gregg will be a great wrestler. There are a lot of similarities between being a porn star and a wrestler. The first that comes to mind is psychology. To make a good porn film you can't just string some random moves together. You've got to seamlessly transition between positions and you've got to build up from low level moves to high ones. Low level being say oral, and high level being a piledriver which is not coincidentally also a wrestling move. Stamina is an obvious similarity. Athleticism is another. Well, I guess there aren't that many similarities. Psychology is the big one. Dharma Gregg has the best psychology in the porn business, how do you imagine she's going to do in a wrestling ring? Now, many of you are wondering if Total Nonstop Entertainment is going to alienate it's mainstream audience by showing a porn shoot in a wrestling ring. My answer is I don't care if I alienate the mainstream audience. The only reason I advertised this fed to the mainstream public was so that I could see the look on a mother's face while she was holding her baby and watching Dharma Gregg and Des Davids have sex in the middle of a wrestling ring! The cult fanbase likes nothing better than to piss the mainstream off. They love to boo the faces and love to cheer the heels. They like to chant SWF at TCW events! Well, now you have the chance! If Sam Strong ever comes into this ring you're welcome to bring your anti-Sam Strong signs and security won't take them away! I want T.N.E. to be the battleground between Mainstream and Cult Fans. And I think this sex in the ring is going to be the first blow to the Mainstream. Of course there'll be those who saw that the Cult fans want all wrestling! The cult fans want to only see the top guys! They don't care about seeing Bigger Dan Ewe versus Genghis Rahn, they want to see Tommy Cornell versus Sean McFly! Why have them sit through the crappy matches? In T.N.E. we only give you the best. Many may criticize T.N.E. matches for being too short, well nobody wants to see long 10 second count outs outside the ring. Or people laying on their backs for 10 seconds to avoid getting counted out there. Long matches just create more dull spots! I've sounded out, peace. E+(10min, crowd down) The monitor shows Agent 69 meeting with Bulldozer Brandon Smith at CTU headquarters. Agent 69: I got Sayeed Ali and Jerry Martin to stop the attacks. Smith: Good. Bulldozer Smith hands 69 a disk. Smith: This disk has the information you'll need to find members of your team. Now, we have other business, I was looking through The Don's files the other day, the ones you gave me and I have a plan that requires your assistance. Agent 69: What are you going to offer me? Smith: I can arrange a presidential pardon in advance for any crime you could possibly want to commit, only one crime though. Agent 69: I'll have to think about the crime...What is it you need me to do? Smith: When looking through The Don's files I noticed that you're almost an exact match for one of The Don's goombas. We're going to make a switch. You're going to wear a wire to spy on The Don and you're going to try to infiltrate his organization. Agent 69: Every mafioso knows to check for wires! And don't you have enough evidence from the files to convict The Don? Smith: These files could've been fabricated, they won't hold up in court. Audio conversations will. The wire will be installed under your skin, nobody will be able to detect it. 69: A goombah will know and hear nothing! Smith: Not this goombah she's done several missions for The Don. 69: Let me see the files on the goombah and I'll think about it and the crime I get to commit. Smith: Okay. You have until I give you a call telling you to come in to have a stylist make you a match for the goombah. Now, get the hell out of office. Agent 69 leaves. E Jerry Martin cuts a promo in-ring. Martin: Big words for a non-psychotic man Dermot O'Logical. Everyone knows a true psychopath needs lengthy and verbose words to describe his true madness. People thought I went soft when I went from a psychopath to a brawler style. They were right. The upcoming Russian Roulette tournament reminded me that I need to start looking torwards my former ways. I sold out! I'm going to kill everyone in the audience! And then I'm going to compete in Russian Roulette against Dermot O'Logical. I accept your challenge to jump off a steel cage to see who lives and dies. In fact Sayeed Ali is going to join us! I'm going to add some thumb tacks at the bottom. I can't wait to jump!!!! E-(4min) The T.N.E. monitor shows Speedy Giant Gonzales practicing some luchadore moves in a hallway when Cherry Bomb enters. Bomb: Hey Gonzales. Gonzales: Yo! Bomb: I've had suspicions that you were a robot ever since I found out Undefeatable was one. Gonzales: I'm not a robot. Bomb: It's okay, it's possible that not even you know whether you're a robot or not. But I still think that deep down inside you want to join Undefeated and go against The Don. Gonzales: The Luchador code dictates a strong face/heel divide. There is no gray. As a heel I must do the most evil action whenever it presents itself! And I believe that would be siding with The Don. Bomb: The most evil action would be to join with us, that would show the ultimate betrayel a true heel act. Gonzales: No I think a true heel act would be this... Gonzales punches Cherry Bomb in the face several times. Then nails her with a low blow. He hits her with several headbutts to the groin. Then grabs a steel chair and hits a 630 degree splash on Cherry Bomb with the chair. He tosses the chair down at her and leaves. D Rock Downpour: We have a long awaited rematch with Undefeatable slash Undefeated and Burning EXILE! And we also have Keith Jericho joining us in commentary. The screen shows Keith Jericho nearly brain dead in a wheel chair. Keith Jericho: ... Undefeated and EXILE stare each other down in the ring. Burning EXILE slaps Undefeatable in the face and Speedy Giant Gonzales rings the bell. Downpour: This is a T.N.E. rules match so that means leniant disqualifications and no count outs and ladders are available. Burning EXILE throws Undeafeatble to the Apron. EXILE climbs onto the apron. Ring Apron Neck Slap takes Undefeated outside the ring. EXILE applies a chinlock for several seconds and them climbs to the second rung of a ladder for a second rope knee drop which connects. He follows it up with a Cartwheel Splash and then mounts and punches Undefeated. EXILE picks Undefeated up and puts him up onto a table. EXILE climbs the turnbuckles. Moonsault onto Undefeated through a table... PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! EXILE hits a chair spinning back kick... PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! EXILE Driver onto a table connects... Undefeated just laughs it off! The Scientist: It's his robotic circuitry that allows him to adapt to his opponents offensive. Undefeated takes EXILE down with a chair shot to the ribs. Then works him over to a surfboard. After a few seconds he picks EXILE up and Hammerlock Back Bombs him onto a chair. He repeats the HBB onto a chair action two more times. Then he picks EXILE up and hits an Explosion Suplex through a table. PINFALL... 1...2...3! D-(6min, crowd down) Show Rating: E+

BuddyGarner · January 22, 2007

34 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 1 June 2007: (All angles and matches are five minutes unless otherwise stated) Bulldozer Brandon Smith is sitting across from Agent 69. Sue Danes is putting makeup on Agent 69. Smith: Have you decided what crime you're going to commit? Agent 69: Yes I want a presidential pardon for killing you. Smith: Okay. Agent 69: I'm just kidding. I want the release of one of my soviet comrades from prison. I won't tell you who it is though. Smith: That's not a crime. Agent 69: I know, I want a presidential pardon for my friend. Smith: The pardon can only be for one crime. Agent 69: He only committed one crime. Smith: I need to know who it is. Agent 69: No, you don't. I'll only tell the president who I want pardoned when I'm ready and I'm sure you won't do it until after I complete my mission. It being give my friend the pardon, so I want some assurances before hand. Smith: You have my word. Agent 69: I do and I value your word Smith. But who knows if at one point killing me will be what's best for the United States. You wouldn't hesitate to do it in a second. If I die of Natural Causes or otherwise I want the restoration of the Soviet Union and a written alliance with them. Smith: That's absurd I can't make that happen. Agent 69: What's your counter offer? Smith: If you die a plan will be put into motion immediately resulting in my death. I'll have one of your unit kill me. Agent 69: Excellent. Sue Danes: Now that that's settled, can we go over the plan and the swap and the objective? Smith: And can we do it without any further negotiation? Agent 69: Next time. I need to go over which member of my team gets to kill Bulldozer Brandon Smith and I need to see everything in writing. Agent 69 leaves. E A steel cell is set up surronding the ring. Hundreds of thumbtacks are scattered about the bottom. Dermot O' Logical, Sayeed Ali, and Jerry Martin are all climbing the cage walls. Martin reaches the top first and laughs as he falls off the cage and face first into the the thumb tacks. Sayeed Ali makes a salute to his terrorist cell and then flys off the cage making a flying double footed stomp onto the thumb tacks. Dermot O'Logical looks off the cage wall and sees the withering bodies of Ali and Jery Martin. Dermot O' Logical climbs down the cage wall and rushes off to the backstage area. Medical crew arrive to escort Ali and Jerry Martin to the backstage area. F Undefeated and Gonzales are in the ring, The Don is reffing the match. Undefeated throws Gonzales onto the Apron and takes him down with the second Ring Apron Neck Snap; the first one being blocked. Undefeated picks up Gonzales and hits a drop toe hold onto a chair. Downpour: Again TNE has leniant disqualifications and there are no count outs. Undefeated repeats the drop toe hold onto the chair four more times. Undefeated now tries for a Lucha Bow and Arrow but Gonzales counters with a legsweep kick. Gonzales climbs the ladder and when Undefeated stands he hits a flying double axe handle. Gonzales then takes Undefeated down with an Enzuguri kick. Gonzales lands a Running Half Senton on Undefeated. Then Gonzales lands five leg drops. Undefeated manages to recover and get back to his feet. Gonzales tries to jab Undefeated but Undefeated counters with a single arm DDT onto a chair. Undefeated attempts a Luch Bow and Arrow but Gonzales again counters with a legsweep kick. Gonzales climbs a few rungs on the ladder and waits for Undefeated to stand. Gonzales attempts a Summersault Butt Press on Undefeated but it misses. Undefeated tries a Hammerlock Back Bomb onto a chair but Gonzales counters with a low blow. Gonzales tries a High Cross Body but it misses. Undefeated successfully applies a Lucha Bow and Arrow and transfers it to the camel clutch. Gonzales has to stand to avoid being put in a submission prediciment. Choke Slame Backbreaker through a table... 1...2...3! E+ (6min, great chemistry, crowd down) Aristocrat is swimming in a pile of money in his mansion when suddenly Burning EXILE enters and starts beating the crap out of him. EXILE just wails on him for four minutes and tops it off by putting some dollar bills into Aristocrats mouth. EXILE puts his foot on Aristocrats head in truimph. F+ Undefeated: I'm done. I've beaten all the viable challengers that this fed can get at this point in time. I don't need to take on people like Dharma Gregg because everybody knows I can already beat them. The man that took me to the limit in a 30 minute match, the man named Des Davids has requested a rematch. I'm not going to accept your rematch request right now. Because simply nothing has changed. You're going to need a lot more people to run in on your behalf in order to beat me. The four top contendors for my belt are Speedy Gonzales Grande, Bulldozer Brandon Smith, Des Davids, and Burning EXILE. So those four people are going to fight in a number one contendors tournament. Whoever wins, gets a title shot. After that person has got a title shot, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. This is all exempting the fact that the fed manages to get tougher guys in which case I will challenge them. Since Grande and EXILE are both high fliers I'd reccomend for them to fight. Bulldozer Brandon Smith and Des Davids are practically identical twins, so much so that I almost forgot that Des Davids was in this fed after Smith arrived so those two are going to fight. If anybody else in this fed right now wants a title shot, you've got to prove yourself as a contendor. You've got to be known by the industry as the next big thing. The crowd has to be demanding to see the match. Everybody knows that Bulldozer Brandon Smith is the future of the wrestling industry. Everybody knows that Burning EXILE is a top fifty fighter although not that popular which is a real shame. So I'm going to go on vacation. I'm going to party with some of my robotic bretheren and try to find worthy contendors for me to fight. This is a chance for some of you guys to build yourself up. Use it. D+(9min) Show Rating: E Advance Booking: Bulldozer Brandon Smith versus Des Davids-F Gimmick Debuts: Sue Danes The Girl Next Door-B

BuddyGarner · January 23, 2007

40 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 2 June 2007: The Scientist is backstage reading about the science of robotics when suddenly Burning EXILE uses a chainsaw to cut the door down and has a psychotic look on his face as he glares at the Scientist. EXILE uses the chainsaw to cut through The Scientist's chair that The Scientist was sitting on before The Sci jumped off of it in shock of seeing EXILE. EXILE grabs The Scientist's book and rips it in half. Onji Taka****a grabs The Scientist by the hair and drives him into the wall. Onji then bangs The Scientist's head against the wall for three minutes. After The Scientist has been sufficiently beaten Onji allows T.S. to fall to the ground and Onji Taka****a smiles as he leaves the room. F Des Davids and Dharma Gregg are standing off each other and are reading from two seperate scripts. Dharma Gregg: Good job on winning that match. Des Davids: I Quarterback Sacked him to pieces. Dharma Gregg: Maybe you can Quarterback Sack me. Des Davids throws his script on the ground. Des Davids: I'm sorry, I can't do this. I just called Mainstream Hernandez and he won't be in the film because he's working too many shows. Citizen X appears. Citizen X: Hey you two, I heard you might be rehearsing here. The other day I was thinking about the original timeline where J.K. Stallings Jr. booked the greatest tweener of all time Bryan Vessey in a three way against Tommy Cornell versus Buddy Garner for the HGC Championship Belt. God, I miss Tweeners. In this new timeline there are no tweeners. Des Davids now that you are working for The Don but yet you are a comic book superhero I think you can be a tweener and help prevent the robots from winning the war. Dharma Gregg: Excuse me, I'm sorry but we were rehearsing. Citizen X hands Des Davids an envelope. Citizen X: In that envelope is a wad of cash, the second half will be paid to you when you complete the shoot of this porn film without any instances. I overheard you mentioning Mainstream Hernandez and I know you were probably going to team up with him during the shoot and beat down on The Don. Well that cash is an incentive for that not to happen. That cash is that you obey all The Don's directions during the shoots. Des Davids: Okay, I accept on one condition. Citizen X: What's that? Des Davids: I get to Quarterback SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKA somebody..PERIOD! Des Davids Quarterback Sacks Citizen X then he opens up the envelope and counts the money; smiling. E Cherry Bomb is cutting an in-ring promo. Bomb: Last week Undefeated mentioned four wrestlers that he thought could be contendors for his belt. None of those wrestlers were female. I went to talk to the booking team about it and he said that both Agent 69 and Cherry Bomb had potential to be stars and were already stars respectively. So why aren't we eligible for #1 contendorship? I really hope you just forgot Undefeated. Now it's pretty obvious that I'm going to win this match against Agent 69. I'm pegged as a top 20 female whereas Agent 69 is known by insiders as having a lot of potential but she's not there yet. Agent 69... Pop! I'm gonna rip your head off! Pop! I'm going to tear you limb from limb! Pop! I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life(yes I know another wrestling universe has made that phrase cliche)! And then you're going to get POPPED! POPPED! POPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEDDDD! Do you like to see blood Agent 69? Because I do. I'm going to love to see it when I bust your head open. People both say we have great chests with me they're referring to my musculature with you they're referring to your boobs. I'm not saying that they're fake, just that you use a push up bra to make them look big. But anyways, to get big boobs you have to be soft, you have to be weak! I'm going to grab a hold of your love handles and suplex you across the room. Face it, you're going to break! E+(10min, crowd down) Des Davids is watching a football game when Bulldozer Brandon Smith enters with some popcorn. Smith: Always like to watch football before a big match? Des Davids: Gotta work on my touch down and Quarterback Sack. Smith: Listen, I've been thinking a lot and I'm planning on retiring from CTU and devoting my full attention to football and wrestling. I'm in the middle of something but I'm always in the middle of something. Other people can handle it. You might think that a body double played most of my football games but a lot of times I showed up myself during practices and I'm a great football player. So we have a match against each other tonight and I think we have the potential to be a great tag team. Des Davids reaches under his couch and pulls out an old football. Des Davids: This is my lucky football. I always let it make my most important decisions. Bulldozer: So is that a yes? Davids: It's a I'll think about it; this match between you and me tonight is like an audition? Bulldozer: Why do I have to be the one to audition? Most of the people in the wrestling industry consider me to be better than you. You lost your MAW Championship belt to Mainstream Hernandez this past Tuesday. So don't bring that up. And nobody cares about the Rip Chord invitational. Davids: Dude, listen to what you're saying. Chill, I've just gotta make sure we gel. I wouldn't be in a tag team with a phenomenal wrestler if we didn't gel. Catch. Davids throws a football at Bulldozer and Bulldozer catches it. Bulldozer: I don't believe in luck. Bulldozer rips the football in half with his hands and stomps on it. Smith: You need a new football. Davids: See you at the game. Smith and Davids head to the ring together. E+ Des Davids and Bulldozer Smith arrive to the ring simultaneously and Speedy Gonzales is in ring ready to ref. Downpour: This is not a T.N.E. rules match. This is a standard match. Bulldozer Brandon Smith hops out of the ring for a sec, reaches into a bag and grabs a football. He tosses it torwards Davids who catches it. Smith enters the ring and hits a shooter takedown on Davids and Gonzales leaves the ring and rings the bell himself. Davids clutches onto the football like it's a million dollars while Smith tries to rip the ball from Davids hands. Smith hits a legdrop on Davids and the ball drops from Davids hands. Smith grabs the ball and leaps out of the ring and runs around it a few times in truimph. David stands up and then times a baseball slide to hit Smith sending the football spiraling out into the crowd. Davids drags Smith back into the ring. Davids irish wips Smith and lands a Backdrop. Davids stomps on Smith about 5 times and then attempts a mounted punch flurry but Smith blocks two attempts in a row. Smith hits a Running Clothesline on Davids, taking him down to the ground. Smith stands over Davids body pretending he's holding an imaginary football and then says "Hut! Hut! Hike!" Smith then proceeds to form an ax handle with his hands and beats the top of Davids head. Suddenly a football comes flying from the crowd and beams Smith in the head. The referee doesn't see it! While Smith is recovering... QUARTERBACK SACK! PINFALL... 1...2...3! E-(crowd down) Show Rating: E- Advance Booking: Cherry Bomb versus Agent 69-F Releases: Sayeed Ali

BuddyGarner · January 24, 2007

43 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 3 June 2007: (All angles and matches are 5 minutes unless otherwise stated) The show begins in the ring where Cherry Bomb and Agent 69 are warming up. Rock Downpour: This is a T.N.E. rules match. Cherry Bomb starts out with fifty eyes gouges on Agent 69. Undefeated runs into the ring and hits a low blow on Agent 69. Then he waits for Agent 69 to stand and hits the green mist on her. Then he rolls out of the ring. Cherry Bomb hits the Cherry Popper! Downpour: The pinfall is counted because the interference didn't actually put the opponent in the pinfall position. It was Cherry Bomb's move. PINFALL... 1...2...3! E-(2min, crowd down) Undefeated scares everybody out of the ring and grabs a mic. Undefeated: I know I said I would be taking a break while I let people build themselves up to be contendors but that was before I saw how pathetic their matches would be. The faster this fed rises to the top the better the caliber of opponent that I'll be able to fight. And in order to be getting that top opposition faster I need to be main eventing every single night. The other reason I returned is that I added some new moves to my move set. I no longer use the Texas Deathlock anymore and have replaced it with the Scorpion Deathlock. I have replaced the Double Underhook Bomb with a Hammerlock Powerbomb so I can continue to work the arm in case I have to counter into a crossface. I have added a corner estacas and a baseball slide to arm as well. I've done some calculations and many of you know that I have two high risk moves in my arsenal the slingshot moonsault and the J-sault. Well, there's the running enzuguri kick too but I only use that as a counter. Oh and there's the missile dropkick too. Well, very, very rarely I might use the moonsault press. I've added a new high risk move the ordinary moonsault. I've done some experiments in training and I've learned how to properly use tables. So now you should expect to see me use the moonsault through a table for the quick finishi. I also realized that there was an important competitor that I hadn't faced yet. I hadn't beaten The Don in an over the top rope match. At 5'6" and 1500lbs he should be a tough competitor. I can manhandle people up to 600lbs thanks to my robotic circuitry but 1500lbs should be a challenge. And The Don not being long should be hard to clothesline over the top rope. After I beat The Don bring on the handicap matches. We'll see how Speedy Giant Gonzales and Burning EXILE do facing me two on one in a handicap match and then we'll have them face each other to determine number one contendorship. See you later Don. C-(10min) Rock Downpour is examining Jerry Martin in a hospital ward. Rock Downpour is using medical tools to inspect Martin. Downpour: That was quite a stupid thing you did, your friend Sayeed Ali died out there. Jerry Martin remains silent. Downpour: Please take me seriously, I do have a legitimate medical licesne. I can show you the records if you'd like. Well, physically you seem okay. I'm going to ask you a few questions. What's the last thing you remember? Jerry Martin: Beta Testing the code of Wrestling Spirit 31. Downpour: Are you sure you were doing that? Jerry Martin: Positive. Kozue Kawashima Jr. didn't quite have the god like skills I wanted so I add a new stat to properly simulate him, the Kozue Kawashima factor. Downpour: Given your recent suicide attempt and your delusions, I'm going to reccomend you for psychiatric evaluation. You only woke up about 15 minutes ago. Martin: You said I was physically okay. Once you're in the middle of coding something it's hard to part away from it. Downpour: I'll let you go as long as you manage to answer one question correctly. Martin: Okay. Downpour: What is your name? Martin: Adam Ryland. Downpour: I'm escorting you to the psych ward. E(4min) Undefeated and The Don are staring each other down in the ring. Keith Jericho: Thank you to all you T.N.E. fans who wished me well. This is an over the top rope match. You have to be thrown over the top rope and both feet have to touch the floor. If you manage to return fully inside the ring at any point you have to be thrown over the top rope again to be eliminated upon your feet touching the ground outside the ring. The Don throws Undefeated outside the ring but Undefeated catches the ropes and manages to kip up. Undefeated then tries to throw The Don outside the ring but can only manage to throw him over the second rope and not the top. Undefeated his a baseball slide to The Don's arm. Undefeated attempts a drop toe hold onto a chair but The Don blocks it. Undefeated then tries a rolling wheel kick but The Don avoids it. The Don drags Undefeated back into the ring. The Don tries to throw Undefeated over the top rope but Undefeated kips up again. Undefeated hits a Hammerlock Drive on The Don. Then attempts a Corner Estacas on The Don but the Don blocks it. Undefeated lands a corner elbow and his second attempt at a corner estacas connects. Undefeated surfboards The Don for a bit and then picks The Don up and tries to Madman Clothesline The Don out of the ring but it doesn't work and The Don falls to the ground laughing. Undefeated picks up The Don from behind and trees a Dropkick to the outside but it only sends the Don through the second rope. Undefeated waits for The Don to stand and hits a Basell Slide Rana on him. Undefeated works a lucha bow and arrow lock on him for a bit. And then attempts a kneeling kick rush. The Don blocks it so Undefeated drags him back into the ring. Undefeated hits a Backflip Kick on The Don and then picks The Don up. CHOKE SLAM OF DEATH... The Don soars outside the ring over the top rope. E(4min, crowd down) Aristocrat is doing some paperwork in his mansion while listening to classic music when The Don enters. The Don: I just lost to Undefeated in the match where I was supposed to be unbeatable in. Aristocrat: I saw. The Don: My fed sucks, the frigging independent shows are performing better than us. Nobody likes my product. Aristocrat: Nobody knows how to spend money better than me you should let me help. The Don: About your election for commissionership...I've decided to let you run this fed. Part of being successful is admitting when you make mistakes. Forget the election, I'm appointing you to commissioner right now. Aristocrat: Thanks, you won't regret it. I have several ideas I'd like to run. I think we should have more matches and lower the intensity of the matches we have. The Don: Good idea, there's just one reservation before I appoint you to commissioner. Are you a robot? Aristocrat: *laughs* No. The Don: Good. Then this will work this time. I was pretty embarassed last time. The Don pulls out a gun and shoots Aristocrat in the head. The Don stands over Aristocrat's body. The Don: Don't worry, I didn't aim the gun to kill you. It was a favor to help you in Rhode Island Pro Wrestling. I just shot you to kill a few brain cells, might help you make the main event in SWF. The Don hoists Aristocrat over his shoulder and carries him to his car. The Don puts Aristocrat in the front seat and The Don gets in the drivers seat. The Don begins to drive. The Don: There's an SWF house show tonight and now that you're dumb enough to be in the main event I thought I might take you to your new fed. I was thinking maybe you could join the Underwater Union, with your new found supidity you might be able to tolerate repeating their dumb catchphrases every single night. The Don pulls up to an SWF arena. The Don gets out of the car and heads over to a five year old kid. The Don: Hey? You here for the SWF event? Kid: Yup. The Don: How do you feel about Eric Eisen recently beating Runaway Train for the SWF Championship Title? Kid: They both suck! I like Randy Bumfhole! The Don: What is the SWF thinking? They must only let stupid people be champions huh? Kid: That would explain a lot. The Don: Well I've got your future world champ right here... The Don opens the car dar and drags Aristocrat out. The Don: Make sure he gets to the show tonight. He'll probably already get a title match. Kid: Cool. The Don sits Aristocrat in the back of the line. The Don gets in his car and speeds off. E+(10min, High Risk Angle, crowd down) Show Rating: E- Undefeated's momentum has fallen to a C+, his popularity has raised in a whole bunch of areas due to the new temp patch 1.3 Cherry Bomb's populary in the Great Lakes has risen to a D- Advance Booking: Undefeated versus Matt Sparrow-E

BuddyGarner · January 26, 2007

32 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 4 June 2007: (Economy: A*, Wresting Industry: D-) Jerry Martin is walking through a hospital and appears to be headed torwards the psych ward. He opens the door to a psychiatrists office and sees Dermot O'Logical and Citizen X. Martin: I'm not crazy, I need to be discharged. Citizen X: I know you really are Adam Ryland. I am J.K. Stallings the Third. In my timeline though Wrestling Spirit II is the last wrestling spirit released you must be from a different timeline. Martin: Maybe, where I came from Robots rule and I'm forced to code more versions of Wrestling Spirit to meet the demands of the robots. You've got to discharge me from the hospital so I can find a way to go back to my original time. Citizen X: I can't do that, you see what happened in Wrestling Spirit had a strong correlation to what happened in our reality. I have to make you change the game so that HGC is on top. Martin: Actually, it's not Wrestling Spirit that affects your reality it's the TEW series. Every change that I've coded in the Cornellverse has resulted in a change in wrestling world. I never realized the TEW series for fear that someone else would get their hands on it and manage to change the entire history. Citizen X: Well change TEW so that HGC is back to where it was. Martin: I can't do that. HGC was unbalancing to the game. That era was unbalanced. American Elemental, Jacob Jett, Buddy Garner, Champagne Lover and more were all unemployed and easily accessible. HGC is dead. It'll always remind me of the unbalanced era. Citizen X: If you don't reform HGC the robots will win. Martin: The robots pay me well and they appreciate the Wrestling Spirit series. Wrestling Spirit is the thinking person's fighting game and it just doesn't compete with the button mashers. Citizen X pulls out a gun and points it at Jerry Martin. Citizen X: I'm afraid you don't have a choice. E Undefeated enters the ring with a mic in hand. Undefeated: I REMEMBER! I know who I am. You tried to kill me Adam Ryland. It's good to see you back because I want vengeance. You don't remember do you, maybe The Player will ring a bell????? You tried to kill me when you coded TEW 2005, you tried to replace me with Jack Avatar in TEW 07 but I managed to hide in a little bit of code you couldn't find. I lost all my memories and changed my name so you wouldn't be able to detect that I was still alive. But I managed to blend into the game world. You never coded Total Nonstop Entertainment in. I did. You know why? Because the special code you inputed into The Player, you made him the User Character! You made me a god. When I was The Player I was perfect at everything. I was the most popular in every country in the world. Even in a little place called Australia which you decided to nuke. I was the head booker of HGC. JK Stallings Jr. was the owner and you destroyed it all. You think the people wouldn't remember the alternate timeline? You think the citizens of this universe would just forget that federations like NYCW and CZCW would keep going out of business and then pop back with more money than ever. You messed with our timeline! You played God! Now that I know where you are, I'm never going to let you touch the TEW code again. I know not to try to get things back to the HGC world. I'd miss the new greats like Randy Bumfhole and Marc DuBois too much. But you're never going to try to erase me again!!!!!!! As long as you can't touch the TEW code again TNE cannot be stopped. This federation will rise to the top and so will I. I will be Unbeatable. I will help all the greats you've ruined restore to their former glory like Burning EXILE. I am The Player! I am Undefeatable! I am Undefeated! And you Adam Ryland are no longer a God because I am. D+(10min) Des Davids, Bulldozer Brandon Smith, and Dharma Gregg are walking in the hallway when they are stopped by Agent 69. Agent 69: Bulldozer, I need to talk with you privately. Smith: There's no need. I'm done with CTU. If you want to know anything about the project you were working on talk to Sue Danes. Agent 69: I don't believe that for one minute. Why are you walking with Dharma Gregg? Davids: BBS and I are a new tag team. We're known as The Linemen. Dharma Gregg is our manager. I figured since I'm going to be starring in a film with Miss Gregg, I should start to get to know her body. Agent 69: Bulldozer, what angle are you working here? Smith: No angle. I'm done. I can't make the tough decisions anymore. Dharma Gregg stops both Des Davids and Bulldozer Brandon Smith. Gregg: Spit on me! Agent 69: Excuse me? Des Davids spits on Dharma Gregg and watches it fall down between her chest. Gregg: That's why I'm their manager. I do things for him. Agent 69: Brandon, I want you to know that if anything goes wrong I'm still planning to kill you. BBS: Well it's a good thing that soon I'm about to be immortalized in a porn film. Take to Sue Danes. BBS, Des Davids, and Dharma Gregg walk away leaving Agent 69 in the dust. E Agent 69 enters the CTU building and enters Sue Danes' office. Danes: Come in. Now that everything is in writing and you've signed everything. You're committed, I want to brief you. Agent 69: I'm ready. Danes: This is your target. Sue Danes presses the power button on a remote control and a TV turns on revealing Sara Marie York talking to Speedy Gonzales Grande. Danes: Her name is Sara Marie York. She's one of The Don's Goombahs. When you have sex with The Don everything will check out as your chest is the same size and your body fat percentage is exactly the same. But we don't care about her relationship with The Don. She's known in The Underworld as The Secretary. She runs the Babes of Sin City prostitution ring. Agent 69: I still don't understand what this has to do with an organization that is supposed to deal with a counter terrorrism organization. Danes: We know that some of the clients have known terrorist ties. Once you've become Sara Marie York we can brief you further about how we want you to deal with this clients. Agent 69: I just can't resist a good undercover operation but be warned if any of the terrorists I meet support Mother Russia I will help them. Danes: I'll find a way to work that into your pardon if you do a good job. You should have fun the next week, it'll be your last as Agent 69 before you become Sara Marie York. Agent 69: Time for that trip to Russia... E+(4min) Undefeated is in the ring opposite Matt Sparrow. Downpour: Undefeated has told me that the reason he has taken his match is that Matt Sparrow and The Insane Heat recently had a close tag match against Captain USA and Paul Steadyfast. A lot of people in the Great Lakes region were impressed with Sparrow's performance. Undefeated wants to take Sparrow down a peg and expose his weaknesses. This is a TNE rules match. Matt Sparrow takes Undefeated down with an Enzuguri Kick and then Sparrow taunts Undefeated with a bird whistle. A bunch of birds fly down and start to peck at Undefeated. Downpour: Matt Sparrow is known as the bird man! My god those birds are going to eat him alive! Undefeated stands and shakes all the birds off. Gonzales pulls out a rifle and shoots all the birds down dead and instructs for Sparrow's cheatometer to be raised to 10%. Undefeated tries to Hammerlock Drive Sparrow into the corner but Sparrow blocks it so Undefeated irish whips Sparrow into the ropes. Undefeated takes Sparrow Down with a Flapjack. The surfboard is applied for a minute. Lucha Bow and Arrow for another. When Undefeated goes for a camel clutch, Matt Sparrow slips out back. Matt Sparrow attempts a low blow but Undefeated counters with a Dangerous Head Drop Suplex. PINFALL... 1...2...3! D(6min) Show Rating: D- Gimmick Debuts: Sara Marie York the Secretary(F)-C Releases: Aristocrat Advance Booking: Cherry Bomb versus The Don-F Undefeated versus Speedy Giant Gonzales-F

BuddyGarner · January 27, 2007

34 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 1 July 2007: (All angles and matches are five minutes unless otherwise stated) Jerry Martin is driving a red ferrari and Citizen X is in the car seat next to him with a gun pointed to Jerry Martin's head. Dermot O'Logical is in the back seat. The car pulls up the driveway in front of a mansion and all three exact the car and enter the house. Citizen X: Go to your computer. Jerry Martin sits down at the computer. Citizen X: Now...I want you to code back in HGC. Jerry Martin: No probelm, I'll just use the editor. Citizen X: I don't want you to use the editor Adam Ryland. I want you to hard code. First I want you to make it so JK Stallings Jr and myself are immortal and then I want you to change me back into JK Stallings the Third. Jerry Martin: No problem, let me just type in the code. Jerry Martin is typing while Dermot O'Logical fixes himself a lemonade. Jerry Martin: To turn you back into JK Stallings the Third I have to open your file in the editor. Citizen X: Cool. The computer screen shows Jerry Martin clicking on the edit data button and brining up Citizen X's file. Then he clicks on the personal button and clicks the check mark next to suicidal. Citizen X turns the gun away from Jerry Martin and points it to himself. And then shoots himself in the head. Dermot: Oh my god! What did you do? Jerry: Don't worry! I'll bring him back. I coded a new checkable personal option for being suicidal, I'll do the same to you if you don't tie him up right now. Dermot O'Logical ties up Citizen X. Dermot: It's done. Jerry Martin changes Citizen X from being deceased and Citizen X wakes up groggily. Suddenly the TEW07 window closes. Dermot: What's going on? Martin: I don't know. TEW 2004 suddenly opens up. Martin frantically presses some keys on the keyboard to try to get a response. The monitor shows a saved game being loaded entitled Adam Ryland Sucks. After the game is loaded, the other workers tabbed is clicked and the workers are scrolled through until The Player is reached. The Player's stats are all 100% in every category. The picture is the same as Undefeated's. On it's own the mouse heads to view skills and then the relationship button is clicked. On the list of relationships Hatred of Adam Ryland is shown. The Player's skill screen is closed and the list of players is scrolled upwards until the worker Adam Ryland is shown. He has a 0% in all his stats. View skills is clicked and then the business tab is checked. The fire worker option is selected and it is chosen to fire Adam Ryland by fax. Suddenly, a fax comes through the fax machine reading You're Fired. Jerry Martin takes the piece of paper and rips it up. Martin: I need to get to another computer and I need your help. Dermot O'Logical thinks. Dermot: Let's go! Jerry Martin runs out the door and Dermot O'Logical follows. E Cherry Bomb and The Don are staring each other down in the ring. Downpour: This is an impromptu over the top rope match. The bell rings and The Don beings chasing Cherry Bomb around the ring for a bit and finally tracks her down and holds her against the corner. The Don works on Cherry Bomb a bit with Corner Knife Edge Chops. When suddenly Burning EXILE heads to the ring from the audience. He heads from the South of the ring while The Don is facing north. Burning EXILE uses a chainsaw to cut through the top two ropes of the ring rapidly. Then Burning EXILE runs back into the crowd. Cherry Bomb avoids a corner knife edge chop and then pushes The Don over the bottom rope in the south side of the ring. Gonzales raises Cherry Bomb's hand. Scientist: Excellent strategy on Cherry Bomb's part. Hiring somebody to cut off the first two ropes so now the bottom rope is the top rope. Brilliant. E(2min, crowd down) Speedy Giant Gonzales is walking backstage in his referee stripes when suddenly Sara Silver stops him. Silver: You call that refereeing? Gonzales: Excuse me? Silver: My name is Sara Silver and I'm from the Ohio State Wrestling Commission. I've come here because I've heard your refereeing is a joke and I want to make things more in line with how the OSWC sees it. Gonzales: Cheating is a long standing wrestling tradition, it's a long standing lucha tradition. I would be foolish to try to discourage it. Silver: It's a tradition, we want to end. I'm going to start reccomending that all referees must review the wrestling tapes and if any cheating is observed decisions will be reversed. Gonzales: I'm sorry but cheating to win matches is a Lucha tradition in getting heel heat! Silver: Tradition is nothing. OSWC has been watching this fed for a long time and they don't want some fed to be mocking wrestling as some illegitimate sport. We at Ohio are tired of hearing the Wrestling is Fake crap. We want cheating to be locked down and ended so it can compete with legitimate sports. Gonzales punches the wall. Gonzales: That's not going to happen. Silver: I was hoping you would say that. I love to crush people's will. I love to see people fight for their beliefs and then slowly die inside as they realize they can't fight the system. I'll see you soon. Sara Silver walks away. D- Dharma Gregg is walking down the hallway when suddenly she bumps into Persephone. Persephone: Hi, how are you? Gregg: Good, if you don't mind I'm kind of busy. Persephone: Yeah, I know. I knew every since you got busy with my husband William Hayes. Gregg: Well, I'm sorry but I love to help married men degenerate into hornballs. Persephone: I honestly don't give a crap about my monoric husband. Gregg: Aren't you dating Steven "The Future" Parker? Persephone: Yes. William Hayes and I are an arranged marriage. William Hayes may be white but he was raised Japanese. And his parents groomed me to marry him. Gregg: So why do you care that I slept with him? Persephone smiles. Persephone: Because I think you're a skank and I needed a reason to hate you and now I have it. Gregg: Have you and Hayes even had sex? Persephone: Yes, much like you I have sex on the first date but only on the first date. After that I've done my time and I can just sit back and reap the rewards. Gregg: I think you might need something. Gregg hands Persephone some cocaine. Gregg: I'm not just involved in the degeneration of men. Persephone: Thanks I'll need it. Might help me stand to look at your ugly face when I next run into you. Persephone walks off. E Sara Marie York and The Don are having a meeting in a wrestling conference room while Agent 69 is hiding in the shadows. The Don: There's a new fed in town JEF. I think some of the wrestlers there might need to be hooked up with some prostitutes. Unfortunately, Babes of Sin City never tours in Europe so I need some ideas. Sara: Well, a lot of BSC's workers are shared with AAA. So maybe AAA will tour in Europe eventually. The Don: I don't think that will ever happen. Most of the JEF's wrestlers are in deep depression about being in some loser fed that's going to go out of business soon. The need a good women to lift them up. It's a whole untapped marketplace. Sara: Well yes. But is it worth going out of our way to reach it? The Don: I think so. Brilliant White is our main distribution center for Cocaine in the United Kingdom maybe there's some way to smuggle our girls through the border. Sara: You don't need to smuggle girls through the border. Anybody can go to Europe. I'm just worried if the travel costs might be prohibitive. Not to mention the fact that the girls will want to be payed extra because let's face it traveling is not fun. The Don: Well I'd want our girls to be carrying cocaine too. After the wrestler and the babe party I want the babe to shoot up some cocaine and then offer it for free to the wrestler, get him hooked. Sara: Good idea, I'll look into it. If you excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. Sue Danes(via Agent 69's ear piece): Now! Sara leaves the meeting room and heads into the women's restroom. Agent 69 uses a paper towel covered in cloreform to cover Sara Marie York's mouth to make her pass out. Agent 69 heads out of the restroom looking like Sara Marie York. Sue Danes heads in via the women's restroom's window and pulls Sara Marie York into a car. Then they drive off. Agent 69 heads into the conference room. Agent 69 smiles. Agent 69: Where were we? E+(8min, crowd down) Undefeated is in the ring warm up. Gonzales is sitting down against the ropes clearly upset. The bell rings and Undefeated hammerlock drives Gonzales into the turnbuckles. Undefeated takes Gonzales down with a Corner Estacas. Undefeated works the Surfboard on Gonzales for a bit and then the Lucha Bow and Arrow for another bit. Gonzales is looking weary and Undefeated lets go of Gonzales and goes to a corner to expose a turnbuckle. Gonzales stands up by the time Undefeated is done and The Don(who's reffing the match) signals for the cheatometer of Undefeated to be raised by 10%. Undefeated whips Gonzales into the exposed turnbuckle. Then Undefeated Turnbuckle Smashes Gonzales onto the exposed turnbuckle. PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! Undefeated whips Gonzales into the exposed turnbuckle corner again. Then hits another exposed turnbuckle smash. PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! Undefeated tries an Octopus Stretch but Gonzales counters with a dropkick. Gonzales hits six successive enzuguri kicks followed by five running dropkicks. Gonzales leaves the ring, slides a chair into the ring, and returns to the ring. The Don raises Gonzales' cheatometer to 10%. Gonzales picks Undefeated up from behind and tries a low blow followed by a cradle but Undefeated counters with an S.T.O. onto the steel chair. PINFALL... 1...2...3! D-(4min, the performance of Undefeated stood out as beeing good, great chemistry, crowd down) Undefeated is walking backstage elated in victory when he spots Burning EXILE talking to one of the road agents backstage. Undefeated pulls EXILE's hair for about a minute as the T.N.E. show fades out. E(1min) Show Rating: E+ Gimmick Debuts: Persephone The Clean Cut(F)-B- Sara Silver The Authority Figure(H)-B- Momentum Changes: The Don has fallen to an E+ Cherry Bomb has raised to an F Advance Booking: Speedy Giant Gonzales versus Undefeated-F

BuddyGarner · January 27, 2007

70 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 2 July 2007: (All matches and angles are 5 minutes unless otherwise stated) Dermot O'Logical is driving Jerry Martin in Adam Ryland's ferrari. Dermot: Where are we going? Jerry: We need to get to my yacht. I have a backup copy of Total Extreme Wrestling 07 on there. Dermot: I have a question Mr. Ryland. When you envisioned my character did you envision him as a star? Jerry: Make a left here. Dermot turns the car left. Jerry: Well, a star of the indy scene... Jerry Martin turns his head looking out back. Martin: We're being followed. Dermot: What are we going to do about it? Martin: Just keep driving. I'll think about what to do later. Dermot: Well, maybe when we get to the docks I can stall the other guy and you can launch the yet and be safely on the sea with your labtop. Martin: Alright. Well we have until we get to the docks to see if we can come up with any better ideas. The car from behind begins ramming Ryland's car. Martin: Go faster. Dermot: I can't there's too many cars on the road!!!!! A red light comes up and Dermot is forced to stop but the car from behind doesn't and rams into Ryland's ferrari causing both air bags to be released and Dermot and Martin fall unconscious. E Meanwhile at Adam Ryland's mansion, Citizen X is struggling to set himself free when suddenly Katie Cameron enters and unties Citizen X. Citizen X: Thanks. Katie Cameron: I hope that death purged JK Stallings the Third from your system if you're not Citizen X I'll tie you right back up again. Citizen X: I've never seen you before in my life, only Citizen X would know that. Katie Cameron nods. Katie: Indeed. We both have the same goals. We're both patriots. We both believe that letting the robots rule is what's best for this country. I want to start working together. Citizen X: Sorry but I'm more of a freelancer. Katie: Well I did set you free. You owe me at least to come back to my base and I can give you a presentation of why you should help me. Citizen X: I don't work for anybody. Katie: How do you know I'm not offering you an opportunity to be the boss? You're certainly qualified for it. This will be one of your only opportunities to see my organizations secret base, I don't think you want to pass it up. Citizen X: Give me your gun. Katie Cameron hands Citizen X her gun. Citizen X opens it checks to make sure it's full of bullets and points it at Katie Cameron. Citizen X: Let's go. E+ Undefeated is in the ring with a mic. Undefeated: Hey Adam Ryland! Sorry you got hit be a car. I want you to know it wasn't The Player who gave the order but it was somebody else. But lord knows you deserved it and I'm happy about it. You did try to kill me after TEW 2004! But I need you. I need you to restore me back to the Wrestling Spirit franchise. If you agree to do this I can help you in whatever endeavours I want. I hate to admit but I need your coding skills. I'm in control of TEW but you still rule Wrestling Spirit. So my conditions are this... I want you to put me in Wrestling Spirit 3, you can call me The Player, Undefeated, Undefeatable whatever. Any of my aliases will work. My short name has to be XX-0-0 however. You have to add the stats of desire and morality to WS3. I want a desire of A* and a Morality of F-. You have to add gimmicks to Wrestling Spirit 3. And you have to code in the metal plate in head which trumps the Samoan Skull. You also have to make a new option to be able to expose the turnbuckle which will make moves like the turnbuckle smash, corner whip, and snake eyes do more damage. You also have to simulate double covers and maybe even triple covers. Also, you need to explain somehow why feds have people cover after a dropkick. I don't know why they do it, but it needs to be in the game. I'm waiting for you answer soon Adam Ryland. I have more to offer you but you gotta answer quick cause you definately need my protection. E- Sue Danes is driving a CTU vehicle where Sara Marie York wakes up groggily in the back seat. York: Where are you taking me? Danes: I'm taking you back to CTU for interrogation. Then you will be transported to a safe house where we will brief you further. York: CTU? I had nothing to do with terrorism. Danes: We'll be the judge of that after you've been interrogated. York: Look, I'll answer all the questions you have right now. Then just take me home. Danes: I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you the truth seeing as how you're never going to go back to your ordinary life. You have been replaced by Agent 69 who's going undercover. You're going to help her maintain her cover by feeding her answers. York: I'll never do that. Danes: Trust me, you will. CTU helps give out presidential pardons like candy to a baby, if you want one then you better help us. When we get to CTU after your interrogation, I'm going to hook you up to Agent 69's ear piece. Then you will be transported to a safe house under guard where you will help Agent 69 maintain her cover. York: How far from CTU are we? Danes: We're close enough. I want you to start telling me all the details of your life so we can help Agent 69 with her background. Sara Marie York ponders. York: I think I want to be tortured before I start feeding you background info. Sue Danes shrugs. Danes: Suit yourself. E Undefeated and Gonzales are opponents in the ring. The Don is reffing. The Don holds up a sign that states TNE rules match. Undefeated lands a dropkick Gonzales and then covers him. PINFALL... KICKOUT! Undefeated argues with the ref that he's counting too slow and then covers Gonzales again. KICKOUT! Undefeated covers Gonzales again. FASTER KICKOUT! Undefeated throws Gonzales from the ring and hits a baseball slide to Gonzale's arm. Undefeated attempts a drop toe hold onto a chair but Gonzales blocks it. Undefeated hops into the ring for another baseball slide to arm but Gonzales avoids it. Gonzales hits a chair shot to Undefeated's back but Undefeated was braced and takes the blow. Undefeated hits four successive drop toe holds onto chairs and tries for a Hammerlock Back Bomb onto a chair but Gonzales counters with a dropkick. Gonzales climbs onto the Apron and hits Undefeated with a ring apron flying double axe handle. Gonzales hits six more ring apron flying double axe handles. Gonzales then hits six flying elbow drops from the fourth rung of the ladder through tables. Gonzales then climbs onto the apron and attempts a ring apron flying clothesline but misses. Undefeated hits three Hammerlock Back Bombs onto chairs and then drags Gonzales onto the ring apron. Ring Apron DDT! PINFALL... 1...2...3! D-(6min, great chemistry, undefeated looked good) Undefeated is walking backstage in truimph when he is jumped by Burning EXILE who chokes Undefeated for 3 minutes. E+(4min) Show Rating: E+ Gimmick Debuts: Katie Cameron the Patriot(F)-C- Releases: Keith Jericho-His stats actually went down over time and I set him as an active wrestler and talked to the road agents and they said he had reached his full potential. He must of rolled a bad destiny stat. Advance Booking: Undefeated v Speedy Giant Gonzales-F

BuddyGarner · January 28, 2007

66 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 3 July 2007: (All angles and matches are five minutes unless otherwise stated) Jerry Martin and Dermot O'Logical have just crashed their car but they were both saved by their air bags. However, they are both unconscious. Ash Campbell heads out of their car and begins heading to Jerry Martin's. Nevada Nuclear exits out of his own car and gives Ash Campbell the middle finger. Nevada: What happened? You just rammed right into that car! Ash: If you'll excuse me, I have business to take care of. Nevada Nuclear shoves Ash Campbell. Nevada: Excuse me! You're not going anywhere! You drove like a friggin' maniac! Ash: I had no choice. Do you know who the man in that car is? That's Adam Ryland. I suggest you let me pick him up and be on my way. Nevada: You're not going any... Ash Cambpell punches Nevada Nuclear in the face and knocks him unconscious. He grabs Nevada's keys and reaches into the car containing Jerry Martin. He picks up a baseball bat and smashes down the window and then unlocks the car door and pulls Jerry Martin out and hoists him over his shoulder. Then he unlocks the door to Nevada Nuclear's car and places Jerry Martin in the passangers seat. Ash Campbell begins to drive off and puts on a song on the radio and adjusts the treble and bass settings to his liking. Jerry Martin wakes up. Martin: What's...going on? Ash: Hi Mr. Ryland. I'm Ash Campbell. Nemesis' son and your biggest fan. Can I get your autograph? Martin: I've gotta get to my yacht. Ash: Well first we've gotta go to my cabin in the woods. I want you to autograph my copy of Wrestling Spirit 2! If it wasn't for you, my father would've never made it in this industry! Martin: I've got more important things to deal with right now. Ash: Why did you give The Player the ability to have god like stats? It seems like you brought this on yourself. Not that I'm criticizing you, I'm just saying. You're a genius and I'm just wondering. Martin: I...didn't want to restrict the user character. If he wanted to play a god, I wanted to let him. Ash: Fascinating. Where's my list of questions? Damn, it's at my cabin. I'm so nervous! Ash Campbell turns the radio up louder. D- Katie Cameron and Citizen X leave Adam Ryland's mansion and enter a car. Valiant is waiting in the driver's seat. The car drives off. Katie: Citizen X, I'd like you meet Valiant. He's a patriot like myself. Citizen X: I can't believe such a large conspiratorial group managed to elude my fingers. Katie: Well, we're a small group but large in power. Before we head to our base. We need to head to J.K. Stallings Junior's mansion. Do you have any memories from when the Stallings inhabited your body? X: I have all of them. Katie: Good, you see Undefeated doesn't help the robots. He tries to stop them. We're hoping that there'll be some hint on how to stop The Player when we get there. X: Does your friend talk much? Valiant: Oh, I talk a lot. I never shut up. That's why Katie Cameron tells me never to interact with our guests because I always go on these long tangents about irrelevant information. And hey I'm a little bit nervous about just being sacked by SWF. Oh, how the mighty have fallen but anybody could've predicted it would happen given that SWF can't manage to push the talent right under their nose like Marc DuBois and Randy Bumfhole. When I was working for SWF, I really thought that I could be the future of the company. I was sacked instead of Lobster Warrior, do you believe that? X: How many people work for your organization, Katie? Katie: About five. We're here. The car stops in front of JK Stallings Jr.'s mansion and all three exit the vehicle. D- Bulldozer Brandon Smith and Des Davids are staring each other down opposite each other in the ring. Dharma Gregg and The Don are watching from ringside. The Scientist is pacing around the ring. The Scientist: Okay Des Davids. When we shoot the film I want you to dominate Bulldozer Brandon Smith. This is supposed to be a fantasy. We're going to have this match next week... The Don interjects... The Don: Or maybe like the week after don't forget scheduling conflicts. The Scientist: Yeah but I really think this match should occur and be an official match on record. BBS: I've got no problem with that. You want me to lose to Des Davids and lose hard. I'm a good guy, I don't care. The Scientist. Okay. And then Des Davids I want you to celebrate in the ring. Wait, Don is there any word on whether Cherry Bomb will be in the film? The Don: I'm going to try to make piece with her. Maybe we can add a scene in post production. The Scientist: And then Dharma Gregg... Dharma Gregg enters the ring. The Scientist: You'll put a championship belt around Des David's waist. Too bad you lost that MAW belt Davids. Then confetti will fall from the ceiling. Bulldozer Brandon Smith will head backstage in defeat. Dharma Gregg you'll give Des Davids a celebratory kiss. Des Davids you'll kiss back and then a full blown make up session will erupt followed by sex. The Don: And I want you to go to full on hard and fast right away. Because you're both in the heat of the moment and can't wait to unleash your passion on each other. The Scientist: Any questions? Des Davids: Nope. BBS: Nadda. Dharma Gregg shakes her head no. The Scientist: Great, see you all for the official shoot next week! E Undefeated is lacing up his boots backstage when Cherry Bomb taps him on the shoulder. Undefeated glances over at Cherry Bomb. XX-0-0: Are you on my side or The Don's side? I always forget. Bomb: I'm on your side but I might join The Don's side if you can forgive him. Undefeated: I don't care. The Don may have intended harm but he didn't inflict any. If The Don can help me out, he can join my side. Bomb: Well I can help you out too but of course I want a favor. You said that BBS, Des Davids, Burning EXILE, and Gonzales were the four top contendors for your belt. Undefeated: Sorry for forgetting about you and now we have Nevada Nuclear and Valiant in the mix also. Bomb: Whatever. But anyways, we all know I'm heavily touted by my industry and Gonzales has already faced you and lost numerous times. You're even going to face him again tonight. You said you wanted Gonzales to face EXILE for the title. I won my match Against Agent 69, how about I face EXILE instead of Gonzales? Undefeated: Well this fed is about to explode and I'm going to get a lot of new challengers so I don't want to lose my main event spot. Bomb: Well, just give me one main event slot. You need to build somebody up to lose to you. Let me be the one to be built up. If you do this for me, when it's time for you and I to face again I'll just lie down for you. Undefeated ponders. Undefeated: Okay but I manage all your matches. I can make you a star. No guarantees though you never know what's going to happen but I guarantee that you'll face Burning EXILE eventually. Bomb: Cool! I'll go out and challenge him right now! C- Cherry Bomb enters the ring with a mic. Bomb: EXILE, EXILE, EXILE. You're not very touted by the road agents I talked to about you. In fact they said you should be used to job down the roster. It's only because of your role in an alternate universe HGC that anybody in this fed even cares about you. Well, you do have great athleticism and great flying. But let me list all the japenese people ahead of you. Yoshimi Mushashibo, Eisaku Hoshino, Eisaku Kunomasu, Nobuatso Tatsuko, Noriyora Sanda, Emerald Angel, Sensational Dragon, PRIDE Koiso, and Kozue Kawashima. That's 10 Japanese guys ahead of you right there. So you're not even top ten. Oh Sensational Ogiwara but she's a girl! And that's right, so am I! There'll always be one girl who can mix with the best and that girl is me. Let me think of all the females better than me. There's Catherine Quine, Wanda Fish, Sensational Ogiwara, and Joanne Rodriguez. Hmm...That's it! I'm in the top five females! Not to mention the fact that you've lost to Undefeated numerous times and I'll probably have him running in on my behalf. This match has already been won for me. But I'm still going to enjoy giving your cherry a good... POP! POP! POPPPPPPPPPPPPP! E+(4 min) Undefeated meets Gonzales out in the ring. Sara Silver: The Don is refereeing this match. I'm from the Ohio State Wrestling Commission and I'm here to make sure that no shennanigans go on that put the legitimacy of wrestling in question. This is a so called Total Nonstop Entertainment rules match but I will be issuing fines based on how violations that don't match up with how the Ohio State Wrestling Commission decides how wrestling should go. Undefeated throws Gonzales onto the Apron and hits a ring apron slingshot on Gonzales. Sara Silver: The ref did not begin to count Gonzales out when he was on the apron that's one fine. Undefeated begins working the surfboard but Gonzales counters with a legsweep kick and follows it up by hitting a senton. Gonzales attempts a running half senton but that misses. Undefeated attempts a Lucha Bow and Arrow but Gonzales counters that with another legsweep kick. Gonzales hits four successive sentons but when he tries a handspring moonsault that misses. Undefeated locks on the Lucha Bow and Arrow for a bit and then transfers to the camel clutch but Gonzales works his way to a standing position and doesn't tap out. Undefeated tries to throw Gonzales on the Apron but Gonzales reverses and throws Undefeated onto the apron. Gonzales climbs onto the apron and attempts an apron springboard dropkick but Undefeated avoids it. Undefeated attempts the slingshot moonsault variation the J-Drop but it misses! Gonzales goes for the cover. PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! Gonzales leaps to the top turnbuckle in a single bound and lands a corkscrew leg lariat. Gonzales picks Undefeated up from behind and attempts a blindside high knee but Undefeated counters it into a Stone Ankle Stretch! Downpour: Oh my god! Undefeated stole another signature move! He stole another signature move! Scientist: Can you blame him? The Stone Ankle Stretch is superior to the ankle lock in almost every single way. Gonzales tries to fight it but eventually taps out. D(6min, great chemistry, performance of Undefeated stood out as being good) Show Rating: D- T.N.E. have risen to small size. The promotion Prestige has risen to F+. Popularity in the Great Lakes is now F+. Gimmick Debuts: Ash Campbell The Acolyte(H)-A Nevada Nuclear The Weirdo(H)-D Valiant The Patriot(F)-C Advance Booking: Joanne Rodriguez versus Undefeated-E Burning EXILE versus Cherry Bomb-F

BuddyGarner · January 29, 2007

80 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Thursday, Week 4 July 2007: (All angles and matches are five minutes unless otherwise stated, show length is 50 minutes, Industry: D, Economy: A) Dermot O'Logical is holding out a sign that says 'Welcome Cameron Vessey' at a private airport. Cameron Vessey steps off a private plane and meets Dermot O'Logical. Dermot: Hi! J.K. Stallings the Third wanted you to be a part of HGC. Vessey: I know but he didn't want you to be a part of it. Vessey takes out a gun and points it at Dermot O'Logical. Vessey: I want you to resign from T.N.E. or I'll shoot you with this gun! Dermot: Why??? Stallings told me that he wanted me to be a part of HGC! Vessey: He lied! He wants people with the best microphone skills and a great look or high athleticism and power. You have neither. Stallings was only using you. You don't have a choice, sign your TNE resignation or you die. The Scientist steps out of the shadows and points a gun at Cameron Vessey. Scientist: I can't let you do that. I was hoping to eavesdrop on your two's conversation to see if you mentioned anything about Adam Ryland but looks like plan B. Dermot, if you tell me everything you know about Adam Ryland I'll shoot Cameron Vessey. Dermot O'Logical ponders for a moment. Dermot: Screw it all. I want to get back into my skin care products. I'll have no problem signing that resignation but I want some finances. I'll give you the information you need Scientist if you wire me 100,000$ per bit of information. The Scientist tosses Dermot a technically advanced palm pilot. Scientist: With that, you should be able to see the funds transferred into your account. Go to banking, type in your name. Dermot messes around with the palm pilot. Dermot: Okay, I can do this. Bank screens up. The Scientist: The first $100,000 is transferred. Dermot: Okay JK Stallings the Third and I went with Adam Ryland to his mansion... The Scientist: what car did he drive? Another 100K transferred. Dermot: A turqoise ferrari. Well anyways Adam tried to access his computer but The Player kept overwriting his actions. So Adam and I jumped into the Turqoise Ferrari to head to the yacht. Then a car was ramming into us and we got into an accident and I don't remember anything else. The Scientist: Good luck with your skin care line. Dermot: Cameron, toss me the resignation paperowrk. Cameron Vessey tosses Dermot the resignation paperwork with a pen and Dermot signs it and tosses it the ground and then walks off. E+ Jerry Martin is tied to a chair in a cabin while Ash Campbell is mixing some chemicals together. Jerry Martin wakes up groggily. Jerry Martin: What's going on? Untie me! Campbell: This may look unusual but it's for your own good Mr. Ryland. I had to make it look like I tortured you Misery style. Martin: Please don't hurt me! I helped your no talent hack of a father I can help you! Campbell: People are going to be looking for Jerry Martin as Adam Ryland but Jerry Martin is going to die in this cabin. I'm going to transfer your consciousness to my body. Martin: I can't let you do that! That's crazy! Cambpell: This is the moment I was coded for!!!!! It would be honor to have your consciousness posses me Ryland. You're a great coder. Ash Campbell sets off a bomb timer for two minutes. Campbell: Now remember, when you transfer to my body. Your story is that you performed a misery style torture on Jerry Martin and then you went crazy and blew him up. Martin: Wai... Campbell ejects a syringe into Jerry Martin's neck and a gaseous fluid fills up the container. Campbell: Once you're inside me...run! Campbell injects his neck with the syringe. Cambell then pulls the syringe out and drops it on the floor. Ash Campbell runs out the front door. Ash Campbell begins to run far away from the cabin while simaltaneously a flying saucer lands in the field next to the cabin. Ash is completely oblivious to this event. Out of the flying saucer comes Joss Thompson who waves goodbye to his alien bretheren and the saucer dissapears. The Cabin blows up and Ash Campbell looks back at the ashes whilst panting heavily. E Citizen X, Katie Cameron, and Valiant head to J.K. Stallings Jr.'s mansion. Citizen X: Wait...if The Player wants to help fight the robots then why do I give The Scientist the Technology to create Undefeated. Katie: If you don't give The Scientist that technology than robots won't exist period. Valiant: Do you remember where JK Stallings Juniors vault is? The access codes and everything should be the same as the ones as his ones. The access codes are passed through the Stallings memory banks. Citizen X: Yes I remember. Citizen X heads downstairs to the basement in the mansion and Valiant and Katie Cameron follow. The three all reach a vault. Citizen X punches in a code and the vault opens up. Inside is a computer lab with thousands of computers running. Valiant: Oh my god! It's a computer lab dissecting how to get a perfect show everytime, how to put every fed out of business, and how to steal every worker. Katie: No wonder Adam Ryland neutered J.K. Stallings Junior. Citizen X: There's hundreds of computers here! It'll take days to see if there's any information about The Player. Katie: Well yes but you had J.K.'s son possessing you. You know how he thinks. Citizen X: The simplest way...would be to find J.K. Stallings Junior. Valiant: The man has bodyguards surronding him at all times. Without your knowledge from the spirit that used your body as a host we'd have never cracked the man's security system. Citizen X: I was his son. I know how he thinks. He's paranoid yes but I know his weaknesses. Katie: So what's your plan? X: Oh, I haven't gone that far yet! I'm just saying that if anybody should know it should be but hey we have a lot of computers to go through and nothing but time so I'll come up with something. Valiant: Don't tease us like that. E+ Sara Silver enters the ring with a mic. Silver: My name is Sara Silver and I have done what some of said was seemingly impossible. I as head of the Ohio State Wrestling Commission of taking over Total Nonstop Entertainment. It only seemed like an impossible task because morons like Agent 69 goofed around and kept switching sides rather than focusing on the true objective of unearthing The Don from owning the fed. The truth is the OSWC have been looking to start a fed in Ohio for a long time. We always wanted a legitimate fed to compete with the top athletic sports. Then we heard about this fed called T.N.E. that made a mockery of the sport of wrestling. This fed had 10 million dollars in it's pocket books and could muscle any fed that tried to form in Ohio out of business. So, the OSWC made a decision to take over T.N.E. And to further elaborate on this point, I'd like to introduce the Chief Manager of Operations, Wanda Fish. E- Wanda Fish takes the mic from Sara Silver. Fish: First off, I'd like to start by saying that Des Davids is a joke. You can't wrestle, you can't play football, and nobody wants to hear you talk. The first change to T.N.E. is a glaring one. The resident robot is holding a main event belt but he's only considered a midcarder in the fed. I'm adding a new stipulation to that belt that will begin in August. The belt has to be defended at least once a month against someone the OSWC has ranked as a Main Eventer and you can only defend the belt when you're also a Main Eventer. At first, I though about just yanking the belt away but I wanted to establish some precedents and rules and regulations. Just yanking the belt away would be too Sports Entertainment. I also wanted to see you suffer throughout the whole month of August, Undefeated because you've been fighting cans, trying to find a way to hold onto that belt you love so much. People have always complained to me about how the Undefeatable Can Fighter has been monopolizing the Main Event well now it's my turn to monopolize the main event. The two matches that are coming up were already booked before the OSWC wrestling commission took over the fed but now things are going to change. First off, the matches in TNE are just too darn fast. I mean, how is Sam Strong going to be able to compete when we manage to sign him! People don't want to see non-stop action. The want to see people wave their hands in the air for five minutes like they're a schizophrenic and then tap their foot on the ground for an hour while setting up for a super kick. If you're not checking your watch then you're not watching good wrestling psychology. Fast based wrestling is simply bad psychology. I mean in real fights you always stop to taunt the ground and always take an hour to get to the top turnbukles why wouldn't you do it in wrestling? The second change is that there are going to be no more competitve matches in TNE. The majority of matches are going to be main eventer versus jobber and the midcard is going to be involved in random skits. Two main eventers will only face during PPV's. Since there aren't going to be any TNE pay per views than the T.N.E. title will be vacated every month. So, The Undefeatable Can Smasher vacates the Best in the World title at the end of August. I win the title at the beginning of September. All is right in the world. The OSWC gives me a huge raise. The action becomes grandma based. And world peace ensues. C-(15min) The T.N.E. monitor turns on and it's showing the C.T.U. office in black and white. The text one year earlier sprawls across the screen. Bulldozer Brandon Smith is interrogating Nevada Nuclear and Sara Marie York in a CTU interrogation room. BBS: Did you know that the hooker you were sleeping with was a known terrorist, Nevada Nuclear? Nuclear: I didn't even know she was a hooker! I thought she was my friend who liked showing up at Rhode Island Pro Wrestling Events. BBS: It didn't strike you as strange that you were giving her cash and a place to stay. Nuclear: No. I thought that was what all boyfriends do. She was hiding from a psychotic ex-boyfriend. BBS: You were here number one client! You didn't notice anything unusual. Any phone calls she made? Nuclear: No! BBS: And you Ms. York. You were the Madame. Why did you send Miss Sara Silver after Nevada Nuclear? York: We do personality checks on all our wrestler targets. Sara Silver seemed to be the best match to get the most money from him. BBS: And you had no idea she was a terrorist? York: She worked for a united states wrestling promotion and she was hot. That's all we cared about. BBS: I don't believe you. York: It doesn't matter what you believe. You're going to interrogate me anyways. Nevada: Wait, I know nothing! You don't have to interrogate me. BBS: I'm sorry but we do. Last chance, you two know nothing about the organization called New Australia? York: Sorry. Bulldozer Brandon Smith leaves and an interrogator enters the room with a variety of deadly looking weapons. E+ Cherry Bomb is in the ring opposite Burning EXILE. The match begins with Cherry Bomb hitting several eye gouges on EXILE. Downpour: This may be the last time you see blatant 'cheating' given the new guard Sara Silver is initiating. Cherry Bomb hits a hair pull takedown on EXILE and then hits one headbutt to groin. Bomb attempts another but EXILE blocks it and manages to stand back up. Dharma Gregg enters the ring and trys to hit a Running Dropkick on Cherry Bomb but she ducks and the Running Dropkick hits EXILE instead. The Don tosses Dharma Gregg outside the ring. Cherry Bomb hits a few more headbutts to the groin but EXILE finally manages to slip out of one. EXILE attempts a punch but Cherry Bomb counters with a small package. PINFALL... 1...2...3! E+(2min, crowd down) Undefeated hops into the ring without waiting for it to clear. Joanne Rodriguez enters the ring in a suit and carrying a brief case. Joanne Rodriguez sets her briefcase down on the ringside steps. Undefeated begins by throwing Rodriguez outside the ring and following it up with a baseball slide to arm. Undefeated attempts a drop toe hold onto a chair but Rodriguez blocks it so Undefeated hops into the ring again for another Baseball Slide to Arm which connects. The drop toe hold blocking and baseball slide to arm sequence repeats again but this time Rodriguez avoids the baseball slide. Rodriguez whips Undefeated into the ladder that's always outside under T.N.E. rules. Rodriguez hits a few repeated shoulder rams into the ladder and Undefeated falls to the ground. Rodriguez climbs a few rungs on the ladder while Undefeated stands up but Undefeated pushes the ladder over and Rodriguez falls into the ring. Undefeated slides a table into the ring and sets Rodriguez on it. He climbs to the top turnbuckles and hits a flying elbow drop onto rodriguez through the table. Undefeated works the Lucha Bow and Arrow for a minute. Then picks Rodriguez up and throws her onto the Apron. Undefeated climbs onto the Apron and attempts an Apron DDT but Rodriguez blocks it and Undefeated drags her back into the ring. Undefeated goes for the Octopus Stretch but Rodriguez slips out back. Rodriguez lands a rear amateur tackdown and works Undefeated over with a Rear Seated Chinlock. Rodriguez tries to transfer to a boston crab but Undefeated counters with a low blow followed by a cradle however The Don saw the low blow and refuses to count the pinfall. Undefeated works the Octopus Stretch on Rodriguez but Rodriguez manages to slip out eventually. Rodriguez goes for a Running Dropkick but Undefeated avoids it. Undefeated attempts a La Magistral Cradle but Rodriguez blocks it so Undefeated hops to the second rope for a second rope forearm drop which connects. PINFALL... 1...2...KICKOUT! Undefeated goes for a Vertical lift Spinebuster which is blocked and then goes for a low blow which the referee doesn't see. PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! Undefeated goes for another Vertical Lift Spinebuster but Joanne Rodriguez counters with a Forearm Strike Flurry. Rodriguez tries to whip Undefeated into the corner but Undefeated reverses. Rhino Charge into the corner! PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! Undefeated goes for the face crusher but Rodriguez slips out. Rodriguez goes for a face plant on Undefeated but Undefeated counters it into a STONE HOLD! Submission Check... Rodriguez taps! D(8min) Show Rating: E+ Momentum Changes: Wanda Fish is now a C- Joanne Rodriguez is a D- Burning EXILE is now an E- Gimmick Debuts: Cameron Vessey the ****y Youth(H)-B- Joanne Rodriguez the Lawyer(F)-F- Joss Thompson the Alien Invader(H)-F+ Wanda Fish the Authority Figure(H)-B Releases: Dermot O'Logical Jerry Martin Advance Booking: Wanda Fish versus The Don E- XX-0-0 and Speedy Gonzales Grande versus Des Davids and BBS F

BuddyGarner · February 1, 2007

164 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Friday, Week 4 July 2007: (Show size changed to medium, angles lengthened to 10 minutes whenever possible to avoid the fact that 5minute angles don't boost popularity) Ash Campbell is running from the flaming cabin and has to run through several layers of grass just to get to a highway. Ash Campbell desperately waves for a car to stop by a near empty roadside when suddenly a car pulls up. Nevada Nuclear steps out. Nevada: I've been looking for you. I thought I'd lost track of you but it turns out driving around in the area you were last spotted has turned up fruit. Ash: I need a ride. Nevada: Too bad. You rammed a car and then you punched me in the face. You're not going anywhere. Ash: I've gotta get of here. I've gotta get to my yacht. Nevada: You aren't going anywhere except for jail. Nevada grabs a baseball bat and hits Ash in the face. Ash falls to the ground unconscious and Nevada Nuclear opens up his trunk and then tosses Ash in. Nevada Nuclear then locks his trunk and tests the lock to make sure it's locked. Nuclear then reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cell phone, and begins dialing a number. Nevada: Hello, is this the mafia?....Yes, I'd like to rent a torture chamber to torture somebody in....Okay, great. I'll be there in an hour. Bye. Meanwhile... Dharma Gregg is walking down a hallway when Persephone comes up from behind and then grabs Dharma Gregg by the hair. Dharma: Ooooo, your husband did the same thing. Kinky. Persephone: Shut up, slut. You got pregnant by my sixteen year old son and now he wants to drop out of school to take care of the baby! I'm going to get you thrown in jail for statuatory rape. Dharma: I've got the mafia on my side. The only person who's going to jail is your son being a bad lay. Of course, you know that already after you've crawled into his bed at night. Persephone slaps Dharma Gregg across the face. Dharma: It's not personal. I was responsible for the degeneration of William Hayes. The degeneration of the son. And soon the degeneration of you. Persephone: You're not going to touch my family again. Dharma: I don't need to. After your son steals money to run away from home, he's going to get arrested. Then you're going to star in the most degrading porn film ever produced just to make his bail. Persephone: You're insane!!! Dharma: No, just a degenerate. If you'll excuse me I've got a porn film to shoot. Dharma Gregg pushes Persephone against the wall and Persephone passes out unconscious. Dharma Gregg walks away. E+(10min, crowd down) Agent 69, Cherry Bomb, Des Davids, and Bulldozer Brandon Smith are meeting in a production studio. Sara Marie York(via Agent 69's earpiece, heard by the audience via voice over): Just play it cool. Cherry Bomb has a.....relationship with Dharma Gregg. Your job is to make sure that Cherry Bomb makes her typical cameo role in the film despite her hatred of Dharma Gregg. Des Davids stands up. Des Davids: I'm sorry but Bulldozer. I can't let you be in this film, I always envisioned that it would be Mainstream Hernandez whom I was facing in the match before the big sex scene. And we're so close to getting him. We have the working agreement with MAW, it's just that they won't let us have him because he's holding a belt. But soon I'll be holding a belt and he'll be available. Sara Marie York(earpiece): I wouldn't tolerate any delays. Agent 69: Unacceptable. When Mainstream Hernandez becomes available then you may become unavailable. Bulldozer Brandon Smith: So wait....does this mean I can leave? Agent 69: No! You're going to be in this film. Smith: Well if Des Davids doesn't want me in it then I'm not going to be in the film. Des Davids smiles. Des: So no Mainstream Hernandez, no film. This is the one opportunity for The Don to...embaress his former enemy by being immortalized in a porn film. You don't want to be the one to mess this up. Sara Marie York(earpiece): Sorry, Agent. The real Sara Marie York would throw her arms up in the air out of ideas herself. Agent 69 breathes with dissapointment. Agent 69: Fine. Bulldozer: So...I'm gonna leave then. Bye. Bulldozer Brandon Smith grabs a few donuts and then leaves. Cherry Bomb: I hate to mess things up further for you Sara but I'm not appearing in a film that has Dharma Gregg in it. Agent 69: Your scenes will be shot separetly than Dharma Gregg's. Bomb: You know what, I really don't care if she's in the film. If I argue about it then The Don's going to try to persuade me to be in the film and I'm never going to hear the end of it. If I just shoot my scenes separetly then I can get my cameo done quick and then I can go home. Sara(earpiece): Good old Cherry Bomb. She always makes optimal decisions. Agent 69: Glad to hear you're on board. Cherry Bomb walks up and leaves. Des Davids grabs a donut after the box and begins to eat it. Agent 69: Is there anything else? Des Davids: Naw, I just want the rest of the donuts. Next time you should get like ten boxes. I'm 260lbs and I burn 10,000 calories a day. Agent 69: WEll, we have a working agreement with USPW too, maybe we could try performing a talent exchange for Mainstream Hernandez that way. Des Davids: Cool. If you'll excuse me, I want to load up on donuts for a sugar high to get ready for my Quarterback... Agent 69: Oh god. Please don't. You know what. I'm just going to leave. Agent 69 runs out the door. Des Davids stands up and tosses a chair up in the air and then he Quarterback Sacks it against the wall. Des Davids gobbles down another donut as he smiles at his handiwork. E+(10min, crowd down) Wanda Fish is in the ring with a mic. Wanda Fish: As the new person in charge, many people have been asking me why this show is being held only one day after the last one. The answer to that question is that 5SSW holds a tour on that day and since many of T.N.E.'s stars are women I wanted to try to avoid scheduling conflicts. Once the 5SSW tour is on hiatus the schedule will be going back to normal. Now tonight I want to talk about how I'm going to screw over Undefeated. Undefeated is a midcarder. Midcarders are not single stars. Midcarders are to be buried in the tag team division. Therefore, Undefeated is going to be paired with his fellow jobber SGG against the Linemen Des Davids and BBS. But enough about that, I told you that my new vision for T.N.E. involved the constant usage of the Main Eventer versus Jobber formula that has been well practiced throughout wrestling history. Well tonight is the debut of this formula in the first ever Wanda Fish rules match. Originally, Wanda Fish rules only finish was going to be by Disqualification but the OSWC made me put in some definitive finishes. So I added item retrieval and then they made me add something to retrieve the item such as a ladder or overhead wires. So I added some overhead wires but I made the item impossible to get. I put the briefcase on top of the Ohio Jewish Center where my opponent won't be able to get it. My opponent is going to be the jobber The Don. Speedy Giant Gonzales will be reffing due to lack of OSWC supplied referees. I've already spoken to Speedy Gonzales Grande and he knows all the Wanda Fish rules and is ready to enforce them for fear of losing his referee license. Have I mentioned yet that I am Undefeated myself in the year 2007 and am the current holder of the AAA Femme Fetale title? Ponder that while you watch these losers in action. D+(10min) The camero scenes in to a luxurious trailer whose door reads Joanne Rodriguez, Attorney at Large. The door opens to a reveal a scene of The Don sitting across from Joanne Rodriguez who's behind a desk with several books and paper work in the background. The camera zooms in to the face of The Don. The Don: Can Wanda Fish do this? Rodriguez: I'm afraid that legally you can. The good news is that since you, Undefeated, and SGG have controlling interest in the company you get to control the matches of the people at the same level of the card or below you. However, since Wanda Fish is a maineventer despite the fact that her controlling interest is not as strong she gets to control all matches involving main eventers and uppermidcarders. The Don: What about Cherry Bomb, she works for me and she's a Main Eventer. Rodriguez: She doesn't have a controlling interest in the federation. The Don: But if Undefeated becomes a Main Eventer then I get total control of this fed again? Rodriguez: Absolutely. The Don: Great. Thank you for your time. E+ Rock Downpour: This'll be the debut of the first ever T.N.E. tag match where weapons are legal as long as they're not lethal like knifes, guns, etc but your cheatometer will increase. Chairs, ladders, and tables are all legal but cheatometer increasing. Cheatometer increasing moves that result in pinfalls will be counted. Undefeated and Bulldozer Brandon Smith are facing each other in the ring. Des Davids and Speedy Giant Gonzales are at opposite corners. Undefeated attempts a drop toe hold which is blocked but he follows up with a kikkawa forearm and with another drop toe hold which connects. The Scientist: Undefeated and I decided to go to a drop toe hold plan rather than the hammerlock drive plan. One, because it's harder to attack the legs than the arm. Two, drop toe hold gets the opponent into a surfboardable position faster. Undefeated tags out to Speedy Giant Gonzales. Gonzales hits the tag arm wringer smash on BBS. Gonzales hits an enzuguri kick on BBS and makes a tag to Undefeated. Undefeated attempts a Hammerlock Back Bomb but BBS blocks it. BBS manages to avoid the subsequent Dropkicksault and tags out to Des Davids. The two hit a tag arm wringer smash. Des Davids eye gouges Undefeated several times. Downpour: Very smart of Des Davids to use the eye gouge. The eye gouge is one of the few strikes that can't be braced for. The Scientist: I'd also like to note Undefeated's Undead Selling. It's not that big of an advantage in a singles match but in a tag match it's a huge advantage with the opponent having to try that match harder to be able to tag out. Des Davids hits a Belly to Belly Suplex on Undefeated and tags out. BBS and DD hit a Tag Back Suplex. BBS picks up Undefeated and tags out again. Then another Tag Back Suplex is made. Des Davids tags out to Bulldozer Brandon Smith. Tag Tower Legdrop misses. Pinfall on BBS... 1...tw-KICKOUT! Undefeated hits the Hammerlock Back Bomb on BBS and then tags out to Gonzales. Gonzales lands a Running Dropkick. Gonzales slides a table into the ring. Des Davids throws a football into Gonzales' groin and Gonzales falls over. PINFALL... 1...KICKOUT! Bulldozer Brandon Smith attempts a running clothesline but Gonzales counters with a Running Enzuguri Kick. PINFALL... 1...2...KICKOUT! Gonzales puts BBS onto the table and climbs to the top rope. Shooting Star Press onto BBS through the table! PINFALL... 1...2...3! E+(8min, crowd down) Katie Cameron and Valiant are searching through J.K. Stallings Junior's computer files while Citizen X is musing. Katie Cameron is on the phone. Citizen X: I got it! Valiant: You have a plan? Citizen X: Yes. My body pocessor's favor would do anything for a Vessey or a Cornell well Cameron Vessey is in this fed. We could use Joanne Rodriguez to try to get Cameron Vessey in legal trouble and then J.K. Stallings Junior would come out of hiding to bail him out. Valiant: I'm not sure if that's the best plan but as long as you're totally in charge of it, I don't know if there's much to lose. Katie Cameron gets off the phone. Katie: We can't find Jerry Martin or the present day Adam Ryland nor can we find the last witnesses to their known location Nevada Nuclear and Ash Campbell. Valiant: How will finding Adam Ryland help us with The Player? Katie: Well we know that J.K. Stallings Junior is the most important reason for him spiralling out of control but Adam Ryland created him maybe he can help us destroy him. Citizen X: I've got it! My future self gave The Scientist the technology to create Undefeated aka The Player. Why don't we interrogate The Scientist about the technology? Katie: I'll get somebody on it. Valiant: Let me do it. I'll bring Joanne Rodriguez in. I think she could help with both The Scientist plan and The Vessey plan. Katie: Okay. Valiant picks up his coat, tosses it over his shoulder and leaves. E+ Wanda Fish and The Don are in the ring. Downpour: The Don is a former Mixed Martial Artist who is an expert in striking and brazilian ji-jutsu. He is known for being a horrible wrestler with absolutely no takedown defense and for having terrible conditioning. He's 5'6" and 1500lbs with a 9 foot wingspan. The bell rings and The Don begins by throwing several quick jabs in succession but SGG issues The Don a speeding ticket and disqualifies him. Wanda Fish: Sorry Don but you were wrestling too fast. Gonzales holds up Wanda Fish's hand in truimph. D-(2min, crowd down, Wanda Fish looked good) Show Rating: E+ Advance Booking: Undefeated versus Mainstream Hernandez-E+ Wanda Fish versus Speedy Giant Gonzales-E- Cherry Bomb versus Joss Thompson-F Storylines(D- or above): Wanda Fish and the OSWC-D-

BuddyGarner · February 6, 2007

164 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Friday Week 1, August 2007: Cameron Vessey is walking down the T.N.E. hallway singing "I love my genes! Baby, I love my genes! I love who my father is, I love my genes!" Burning EXILE steps out of the shadows carrying a turned on chainsaw. Cameron Vessey knocks the chainsaw out of EXILE's hand and takes him down with a shooter takedown. Cameron Vessey wails on Burning EXILE for a few minutes while the chainsaw keeps going at it, still being turned on. Unbeknownest to the two combatants a hole in the space continuum is opened up by the chainsaw. The hole sucks in Cameron Vessey and Burning EXILE. F+ The Don and Cherry Bomb arrive in a car outside a hotel. The Don: I can't believe our luck. Nevada Nuclear called in to use one of our torture chambers and now we have the location of Ash Campbell. Cherry Bomb: You've been talking about our luck the whole drive over here. It's getting kind of old. The Don: Well, we can fill the silence by making out. Cherry Bomb: I prefer to just get my sexual desires out by just masturbating for five minutes once a day. Gets me back to work faster. The Don: Wait here. I'll bring back Ash Campbell and Nuclear. The Don steps out of the car, having seem trouble with his gut and the steering wheel. But The Don closes the car door and begins heading up the hotel stairs. Suddenly, Joss Thompson teleports into the back seat. Cherry Bomb notices Thompson and reaches for her gun but when she grabs it, it's teleported into the hands of Joss Thompson. Then she frantically tries to open the car door but nothing will open it. Then she tries to reach back to assault Thompson but an invisible force field prevents her from doing so. Thompson: Relax, I just want to ask you a few questions. My name is Joss Thompson and I'm from planet....well you won't be able to pronounce it or remember it anyway. You can just call me an alien, it's not like that's not an identifying factor enough. Bomb: I always thought you were a European wrestler. Thompson: The two traits are not mutually exclusive. I'm here to investigate the time loop that occurred in this fed a few months back. My space ship picked up the disturbance and we want to know more about it to further our research on how to control time. Bomb: Leave me out of it. I've been trying to put the whole thing behind me. Thompson: Well, we know the time current was pulling torwards you but we haven't been able to tell who else was involved. Bomb: If I tell you who was involved will you leave me alone? Thompson: On the condition that I fight you in a match tonight, so I can study any residual effects from the time loop that might come out from in ring experiences. The spiritual fields emitted from in-ring experiences is my primary field of study. Bomb: Okay fine. Speedy Gonzales Grande was involved but he somehow managed to escape the loop. Dermot O'Logical was involved and Joey Beauchamp claimed to be JK Stallings the Third and was the instigator of the loop. Citizen X managed to interject himself inside the loop. Thompson: Thank you. You obviously are a hostile subject. So I'll perform my further experiments without involving you aside from of course our match tonight. Joss Thompson teleports out of the car. One hour earlier... Ash Campbell is tied up while Nevada Nuclear is musing over some impliments of torture upon which to inflict pain on Ash Campbell. Nevada: I really hate irresponsible drivers. I want you to really learn your lesson. Ash: I learned my lesson! I'll never drive irresonsibly again! I'll never drive again! I'll ride a bike!!!! Nevada: I hate bike riders more. I'm always afraid I'm going to hit them and be thrown in jail. Grrr.... they just piss me off. Nevada Nuclear gets out something incredibly sharp and pointy. Ash: I won't ride a bike! I'll walk! Nuclear: I have to break you my dear boy. Why were trying to smash that car? Ash: I'm broken! Please let me go! Nuclear: Not good enough! I want you to look at every car you try to enter with pain! I want you to suffer every time you try to turn the ignition in agony with remembrance of this traumatic event. I want you to be too traumatized to drive again! Ash: I won't drive again! I just need to get to my yacht. I won't turn you in. I won't mention this to anyway. All I care about right now is getting to my yacht! Nuclear: Then you won't mind if I torture you on your yacht then. Ash: No, please. Just take me to my yacht. Nuclear: Alright, let me pack up some of my supplies and then we'll go. Present time... The Don kicks down the door to the hotel room while holding a machine gun however nobody is there. The Don looks around the room for any bodies but can't find anyone. The Don then reaches under the bed and pulls out a hidden tape recorder and stuffs it in his pocket. The Don then moves a picture frame and takes out a hidden video recorder and stuffs it into his bag. The Don rushes down with the two items to the car containing Cherry Bomb. Cherry Bomb is in the drivers seat and rolls down the car window. Bomb: They weren't there. The Don: No, but I'm not sure if you know this but all the torture rooms we rent out are tape recorded and have video surveillance. We'll have to examine this footage to see if there's any hints about where the two of them could be going and if there are any hints about where Adam Ryland could be. The Don enters from the passengers side. The Don: You take the tape recorder. If anybody tries to intercept us, I want them to have two targets to go after. I'll Grand Theft Auto another car. If it looks like somebody is about to take the tape, destroy it. Bomb: Go, I'll get to safety as soon as I can. The Don leaves the vehicle and runs off as Cherry Bomb drives away. E+(10min, The Don could use something to freshen his character up, crowd down) Mainstream Hernandez is walking down the hallway but is stopped by Des Davids. Davids: What the hell is going on Hernandez? For months, I've been trying to get a match with you. You beat me for the MAW Championship and I finally get the opportunity to face you in a T.N.E. ring and you're going up against Undefeated. Hernandez: Relax bro, it is going to be you and I facing tonight. Yeah, Undefeated and I were scheduled to face tonight but then he realized that I had a creative control contract so he passed on the opportunity. So, after we face we're going to assault The Don right? Davids: Naw, dude. I want my beatdown of you to be immortalized in a porn film. The only thing that's going to happen after I beat you tonight. Is that I'm going to have sex with Dharma Gregg. Hernandez: You're forgetting about the Appirition #14. Davids: No, I haven't. I'm planning to Quarterback Sack you after you miss it. Hernandez: See you in the ring. D Valiant is in Joanne Rodriguez's legal office. Valiant: Hey, how's it going? I have some work for you. Rodriguez: I'm already doing work for you. I charge $300 an hour just for a consultation. Valiant: I want you to help me establish a legal case against Cameron Vessey. Rodriguez: Well, I'll help anyone. I believe that everyone deserves the best legal representation. You get me the money I'll find you a crime to charge Cameron Vessey with. Valiant pulls out a bag full of money and begins to dump it on Joanne Rodriguez's desk. Joanne: Stop! I won't take money like that. Put your money back in the bag and write me a check and be professional. Then I'll get to work. Valiant grumbles and picks up the money and puts it back in the back. Joanne: Hurry up! I can't work while you're distracting me. Valiant picks up the last of the money and leaves Joanne Rodriguez's trailer. Katie Cameron is waiting outside. Valiant gives her a big hug and tries to grab Cameron's body. Katie Cameron bats Valiant's hand away. Cameron: Is she going to get us some legal evidence on Cameron Vessey? Valiant: Yup. Why don't we celebrate? My place. Tonight. Cameron: I'm with Jacob Jett. Valiant: You think I care. I'm going to pursue you as long as I still find a way to see you. If you and Jacob Jett marry I'm going to interrupt it even if it does blow your cover. Cameron: Jacob Jett makes me happy. I do appreciate the effort though. Katie Cameron kisses Valiant softly on the lips. Valiant tries to turn the kiss into a full on make out session but Katie Cameron pulls away. Cameron: Bad. Katie Cameron slaps Valiant playfully on the hand. Valiant: Please tell me I can at least flirt you with when Citizen X is around! It's hard for me to look at your ass and not exude praise about it! Cameron: I'm sorry Valiant but that's just the way it's got to be. You can still check me out though. Now I'm going to give you a kiss, can I trust you not to get too excited? It would be unprofessional. Valiant blushes softly. Valiant: Yes. Katie Cameron kisses Valiant again and sways her hips back and forth as she walks away from Valiant. Meanwhile... Freddy Huggins is snorting cocaine backstage at a rock concert when Citizen X enters. Citizen X: Where are you planning to meet J.K. Stallings Junior tonight? Freddy Huggins: Like I've told the press a million times, we're not dating. I'm not gay. He's just a mentor to me. Citizen X: If you don't help me, I can arrange it to make it so you are gay. Do you know where J.K. Stallings is? Freddy Huggins: No I don't. I've got preparation for my tour coming up. Citizen X: I know that J.K. Stallings Junior has used you in the past. I know that he's used you to fulfill his rockstar fantasies. I know that he's watched you participate in orgies with rocker groupies. Now, where is he! Huggins: I haven't seen him in months. Citizen X: You think J.K. Stallings Junior can destroy you? I can destroy you worse. All you've gotta do is help me to make it stop. Now when's the next time J.K. Stallings Junior is going to watch you have sex? Freddy Huggins grabs a guitar and smashes it. Huggins: He doesn't watch me have sex!!! Citizen X: I have memories of those of the future. I know about your self destruction. I can help you, if you help me. Huggins: Sod off. Citizen X: Never mind. I came up with a better plan. Enjoy your concert. Citizen X leaves. E+(10min, crowd down) Agent 69 is meeting with Dharma Gregg and Bulldozer Brandon Smith in the locker room. Agent 69: I wanted to apologize to both of you for not being able to star in The Don's latest porn film Champion of Wrestling, Champion of Sex. Dharma Gregg: Wait a minute, I'm in The Don's film! I'm the star! Agent 69: No you're not, I am. I'm taking your role. Sara Marie York(via earpiece): Good Agent 69. You've got me down to an art now. Sue Danes(earpiece): Alright, it looks like you've got this well under control. I'm going to take Sara Marie York to a safehouse and I'm going to maintain radio silence for about a day until after Sara Marie York is safe. I don't want any terrorist organizations to use this transmission to hunt Sara York's location down. The monitor switches view points to Sue Danes and Sarie Marie York driving in a car. Sue Danes pulls out a gun and shoots the high tech transmission equipment. Dharma Gregg: What, I'm the star! Agent 69: Too bad. I'm going to be in this film now. Gregg: Aparently, you haven't heard about how I ruin people's lives. Oh well, I'll show you. Dharma Gregg storms out of the room. Agent 69 looks at Bulldozer Brandon Smith and nods. Agent 69: It's time. BBS takes a gun out of his locker and runs. BBS runs down the hallway and jumps in a car. He starts the engine and drives frantically down the street. Sue Danes and Sara Marie York are talking in the car. York: How far are we from the safe house? Danes: I suppose I should tell you. You've been doing a pretty good job. It's only a couple of miles from here. The security there is airtight. Nobody will ever be able to get in. We'll provide you everything you need. The place is close but it won't matter because only a select CTU employees even know that you've gone missing. York: Will I ever be able to go back to a normal life? I'm tired of being couped up. Danes: You've helped us a great deal. We'll try... Suddenly a bronze car rams into Sue Danes' car. Bulldozer Brandon Smith steps out of the bronze car with a gun in his hand and pulls Sarie Marie York and Sue Danes out of the car. Sue Danes: What are you doing? Bulldozer Brandon Smith knocks Sue Danes unconscious with his gun and points the gun at Sara Marie York. Smith: Walk south or I'll kill you. Sara Marie York begins walking south. E(10min, crowd down) Wanda Fish is in the ring with a mic. Fish: Last week I proved that I could beat anyone in a match simply by manipulating the rules so they're in my favor. I dominated The Don and now I'm going to dominate Speedy Giant Gonzales. I'm going to prove that I'm the biggest jackhole out of all Authority Figures of all time. Some lesser, weaker Authority figures might not be able to do incest angles. They might want to but they'll be discouraged by lesser minded individuals who try to muddle in their business. I'm willing to do incest angles. I want to do incest angles and I won't listen to anybody who tells me otherwise. Wanda Fish grabs a baby out of the audience. Fish: One time this wrestler in SWF, kicked a baby out into the crowd. I thought that was awesome. Wanda Fish piledrivers the baby into the mat. Wanda Fish: I don't believe that abortion should be limited to being legal by trimester. I think abortion should be legal your entire life. As far as I'm concerned, compared to me you're still a fetus. Some of you may think I'm insane. Great, that's my intention. Like I said I want to outdo every authority figure of all time. You think you've been shocked. You haven't been shocked until you've been put in this fish tank. Well, I think the whole baby thing was enough shock for this week. Well, maybe not. Wanda Fish rips the head off the baby and boots the babies body into the crowd. Fish: There that's good. Now about my match with SGG. You already know the rules are in my favor. It's like Calvinball where you make up the rules as you go along. So I think I'll forget about talking about my match tonight. I've already proved I can do shock. Now I want to show that I'm an egomaniac. Wanda Fish reaches into her bag and pulls out her AAA Femme Fatale title. Footage is shown for the next 10 minutes that highlight Wanda Fish's matches in AAA. C-(15min) Cherry Bomb and Joss Thompson are in the ring. The Don is reffing. Joss Thompson kneels down in the ring and looks torwards the ceiling. Suddenly, Cherry Bomb begins to glow. Cherry Bomb begins to spasm all over and then she suddenly screams. She picks Joss Thompson off the ground and hits the Cherry Bomb. PINFALL... 1...2...3! E-(2min, crowd down) Joanne Rodriguez enters the ring with a mic. Rodriguez: As many of you know, I'm a lawyer who has excellent legal credentials. But some people have been doubting me because of the one case that got away. Yes I was one of the prosecuters in the Freddy Huggins case. Yes everybody knows that Freddy Huggins murdered his wife in cold blood but he got away with it because he's a rockstar and a millionare. So no I'm not undefeated in the legal business but the enormous amount of evidence against Freddy Huggins was simply obtained illegally. Not one of you can doubt that I didn't do the best job I could given the tools that I had. No lawyer could've done better. Let's take a look at Undefeated. Imagine Undefeated was involved in a 100 on one handicap match. Would anybody expect him to win? Would people be impressed if he put on a dominating performance even if he lost the case? Of course. And that's exactly what happened in the Freddy Huggins case. I won that jury. Every single member of that jury knew that Freddy Huggins was guilty. They just knew that legally they could not impose a guilty verdict. Case dismissed! D-(9min, crowd down) Undefeated meets Valiant in the ring. Undefeated throws Valiant to the outside and hits a baseball slide to Valiant's arm. Undefeated picks Valiant up and hits a drop toe hold onto a chair. Undefeated picks Valiant up again and hits a Hammerlock Back Bomb onto a chair followed by another pick up and another Hammerlock Back Bomb onto a chair. Undefeated tries to pick Valiant up again but Valiant fights back and Valiant hits a few drop toe holds onto chairs of his own. Valiant drags Undefeated back into the ring and Undefeated manages to stand. Valiant goes for a running dropkick but it misses. Undefeated picks up Valiant from behind and lands the Double Chicken Wing! Submission Check... Valiant TAPS OUT! The Scientist: Hmmm....I'm going to have to do Anatomy of a Double Chicken Wing sometime! D(2min) Wanda Fish meets Gonzales in the ring. The Don is reffing for the third time tonight. Crowd: Special guest referees suck! We want a regular ref! The bell rings and Gonzales takes Wanda Fish down with an Enzuguri kick. Gonzales climbs to the top rope and hits a flying double axe handle. The Don issues a disqualification on Gonzales. Downpour: I guess, in a Wanda Fish rules match, top rope moves are illegal. D-(2min, great chemistry, The crowd didn't like another special guest referee, The performance of Wanda Fish stood out as being good, crowd down) Des Davids and Mainstream Hernandez now take their spots in the ring. The match goes back and forth for 8 minutes when Mainstream Hernandez misses the appirition #14 and Des Davids doesn't go for the cover but adamently waits for Mainstream Hernandez to stand and then Quarterback Sacks him for the one two three! The Scientist: The Appirition #14 is the stupidest move in all of wrestling followed closely by the finisher that Black Eagle does. Downpour: Don't forget the Big Smack Shuffle. The Scientist; Yeah there's a lot of stupid finishers but the real stupidity is Des Davids not going for the cover. E+(10min, crowd didn't like another special guest referee, crowd down) Show Rating: E+ Gimmick Debuts: Freddy Huggins the Teen Idol(H)-B Momentum Changes: Speedy Giant Gonzales-D+ Freddy Huggins-E+ Scheduled Releases: Cameron Vessey On the chopping block: Ash Campbell Advanced Booking: Undefeated versus Burning EXILE-F Cherry Bomb versus Freddy Huggins-E- Wanda Fish versus Speedy Giant Gonzales-E

BuddyGarner · February 7, 2007

155 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Friday, Week 2 August 2007: Undefeated is in the ring with a mic. Undefeated: Adam Ryland... You've screwed a lot of people over. You tried to kill me, The Player. You were responsible for the illegal transmogrification of Stephen Cuthill into Ripper LeStat and you resulted in the near brain death of J.K. Stallings Junior and ruined his career and life. The Don may be gone but I'm sure he'd approve of my next action. After all, he did shoot me in the head. He owes me and he needs me. Speedy Giant Gonzales has only won one match in his entire career and that was a tag match with me. There is no backup plan. I'm the only one that The Don has got. The Don may want Adam Ryland for inofmration but we don't need him for information. The Adam Ryland that resides in Jerry Martin's body is from the future. He may have coded up to Wrestling Spirit 35 but can he really have done a much better job than us? We have the current Adam Ryland that resides in Adam Ryland's current body. Nobody may be able to find him but we will eventually. The current Adam Ryland may be the only one who can save future Adam Ryland's life. And if Adam Ryland won't come out of hiding to save himself than he's nothing more than the despicible scumbag we all know he is. At least, the live execution of the future Adam Ryland will let all the members of the Kawashimaverse that justice will eventually be served for ruining so many of his creations lives. I have asked Joanne Rodriguez to serve as Adam Ryland's defense. Although, the future Adam Ryland or the present day Adam Ryland can feel free to come to his own defense. By the time, Adam Ryland is found. He will judged by the T.N.E. wrestling fanbase and the sentence will be executed. Voting will take place by video submission. More on that as the deadline approaches. Many of the TNE fanbase will remember that we never carried out the Aristocrat Authority Figure elections. Well, Aristocrat's quitting the fed put a big wrench into that. So I'd like to establish right now, that the plans for the televised execution of our "supreme" creator is subject to change. Now, about the Double Chicken Wing I used last week. I decided that the move was strictly superior to the camel clutch. Given that an arm assault is harder to establish than a head assault and that picking up an opponent from behind builds momentum and is hard for my opponent to fight back to. I'm also really skilled in slipping out back. Now about my match for this week. One of Adam Ryland's many crimes albeit an unprosecutable one unfortuantely is tarnishing Bryan Vessey's legacy by saddling him with a piece of crap kid. He already damaged his essence of greatness by saddling him with that no talent brother of his Larry Vessey. Worse the buzz is on the internet is that Cameron Vessey has no talent. Let me tell you, the road agents looked him over. The kid has no talent and no future in the wrestling industry. Thanks for screwing over Bryan Vessey some more, Adam Ryland. Now he'll be remembered for spawning the piece of crap kid rather than the uncharismatic producer of great matches. So thank the almighty power of the surfboard move, for a tear in the space time continuum for sucking him in last week, hopefully never to be found again. Just to prove what a wuss that kid is. I'm going to face Burning EXILE who also was sucked into the tear and in our match tonight he's going to prove he's fine. Now, let's hear the opening statements from Joanne Rodriguez... D+(10min, Undefeated is starting to become a little stale in his current role) Rodriguez: I don't think I need to tell anyone that this trial is an absolute facade in the eyes of the law. But in the eyes of Undefeated and the Mafia this trial is viewed with the utmost legitimacy. If somehow I can prove that Adam Ryland is innocent of the crimes, than the mafia will let Adam Ryland free. It is my belief that it is the sole intent of the prosecution to completely and utterly humiliate Adam Ryland for the sole purpose of vengeance. But, if the verdict of the trial does indeed go to the internet vote than the voice of the people proclaiming out about Adam Ryland's innocence will be a vote that has just as much legal weight as that distributed by a judge or jury. The main crime that Adam Ryland is accused of is murder. The charges are that he is responsible for the death of The Player, the death of the identity of Stephen Cuthill and all that Stephen Cuthill represented, and the death of J.K. Stalling Juniors body and mind and his legacy of HGC. I don't think the mafia could argue that murder is wrong. The Don whacks somebody each and every day. What they have a problem with is the murder of people with talent. The Don would never kill Tommy Cornell despite the fact that he steals thunder from the Mob's favorite wrestler Kozue Kawashima. I cannot dispute that Adam Ryland is responsible for the "Deaths" of The Player, Stephen Cuthill, and J.K. Stallings Jr. What I can dispute is that the three people had any talent. Given the mob's past views on who the wrestlers or industry members whom have talent are, I will prove that these three men were not talented enough to be immune from a legal mafia kill. I will establish a record of The Don ordering killings of people with greater or equal talent being killed therefore establishing that Adam Ryland was within his legal rights within The Mafia's laws to murder those three individuals. Normally, after this I'd turn to the judge and tell him that I'm done making my opening statement. Well, now I'm turning to you, the T.N.E. audience who are the judges of this case. I'd like to thank you for hearing my opening statement. D-(10min, crowd down) Sara Silver is meeting with Wanda Fish in a T.N.E. conference room. Sara Silver: The Ohio State Wrestling Commission is a little concerned about the way you've been running this fed. You were supposed to bring more athleticism and legitimacy to this fed and all you've done is make the fed turn more torwards entertainment. Wanda Fish: Pfft....don't even feed me that crap. The OSWC knows that this fed can never be turned into a shoot fighting style fed. The best thing for me to do right now is to be responsible for this fed's ruin and if I have a little fun along the way. Shoot me. Sara Silver: Now, don't freak out. Unlike you, I believe that this fed can be turned into a shoot fight promotion. I've decided to try to listen to the suggestions of our enemy and try to start forming compromises. Wanda Fish: What the hell is wrong with you? You're normally as big a bi-atch as I am. Sara Silver: I know when to change my role. You're the resident bi-atch of this federation. What the OSWC needs right now is the voice of reason. I'm going to provide it. Come in! The Scientist enters. The Scientist: I'm sorry that none of my other mafia colleagues were willing to meet with you. Sara Silver: No problem, sit down. The Scientist sits down and grabs a donut. Wanda Fish slaps the donut out of The Scientist's hands. Wanda Fish: Donuts are for people who work out, fat ass. Sara Silver: So, Scientist...what ideas do you want to present? The Scientist: Well, I figured it would be more efficient if I showed a video. The Scientist puts a DVD in the DVD player. Music plays and footage of Undefeated performing various moves is shown. Voice: Crash, cu-cu-cu-Crash! TV! A TV is shown being thrown against the wall and smashes against the wall. The Scientist pushes the eject button on the DVD player and puts it back into it's case. The Scientist: I thought that might be a good intro for when we get a TV show. Sara Silver: And you think we should start booking the fed like Crash TV? The Scientist: Absolutely. We should have random people be World Champion. Celebrities with no talent. And we should totally forget what happened the week before. Wanda Fish: This is a waste of time, he's obviously not taking this seriously. Sara Silver: Now Wanda... Wanda Fish: No this is bull. You're pissing me off. You better be careful, Scienty or I'll retcon the history of this entire fed so you and your mafia never existed. Wanda Fish storms out. Sara Silver: Can I mull over your ideas? Scientist: Sure. Cherry Bomb storms in. Bomb: Scientist! I need your help to interpret a tape recording. Scientist: Sorry, Sara! I've gotta go. Cherry Bomb and The Scientist leave to head down to the lab. Cherry Bomb puts the tape in a tape recorder. The Scientist: What's the gist? Cherry bomb: Something about a yacht. The Scientist: Well Adam Ryland owns a yacht. Let's go! Cherry Bomb: Wait, I have a match against Freddy Huggins tonight. The Scientist: Fine, I'll go alone. D-(10min, The Scientist could use something to freshen his character up, crowd down) Citizen X is searching for a computer at J.K. Stallings Jr.'s mansion when suddenly Joss Thompson teleports behind him. Joss: I have a few questions about how you managed to interject yourself into a time loop. Citizen X: You think I'm going to answer the questions of some alien chump? Get out of here! I'm busy. Joss: Interesting that you call us alien chumps when it's only alien technology that could've allowed you to interject yourself into a time loop. Citizen X: I'm not interested in a war of words right now. I'm busy. Joss: I know where J.K. Stallings Junior is and I can help you capture him, is that incentive enough to answer my questions? Citizen X: Where is he? Joss: Well, your experiences from when J.K. Stallings the Third inhabited your body are deceitful. J.K. Stallings Jr. implanted false memories into his son's brain to hide his shame. You see when Adam Ryland altered the time stream from TEW 2004 to TEW 2005. He paralyzed J.K. Stallings Jr. He was impotent. As you know he watched other people have sex to relive his experiences. One of those names as you know is Freddy Huggins. When he watches the people have sex, his security isn't around. Citizen X: That's all well and good but I don't know where J.K. Stallings Junior is going to watch Freddy Huggins have sex. Joss: Fill out this ten page questionarre and I'll tell you. Joss Thompson drops a packet of paper and teleports out. Meanwhile... Katie Cameron is filling out paperwork in her office when Valiant bursts in. Valiant: I heard that you and Jacob Jett broke up. Katie Cameron: I was surprised myself, he dumped me. He couldn't handle the long distance relationship. He was in CGC, I was in 4C. That doesn't mean you're in the picture though. I'm still going to try to restart my relationship with him. Valiant: He'll understand if you and I get it on. You aren't together anymore. He expects you to have flings. Katie Cameron: I'll tell you what. Tell me a secret and I'll take my top off and show you my chest. Valiant: Hmmm.....I ate dog food once. Katie: Not good enough. I have great breasts as you've noticed. Valiant: Wanda Fish is my sister. Katie: ...! Get the hell out! E(10min, crowd down) Agent 69 is watching videos of her country Mother Russia when suddenly Sue Danes begins to speak in her earpiece. Danes: I'm sorry! Your cover is in jeopardy! I've been trying forever to restablish contact with you. Sara Marie York has been kidnapped by Bulldozer Brandron Smith. You're going to have to use all the information you've gained to maintain your cover alone. Meanwhile... Bulldozer Brandon Smith is pointing a gun to Sara Marie York's head in the middle of a desert. Sara Marie York is digging a hole in the sand. Smith: Tell me about the terrorist organization, New Australia. York: I don't know anything. Smith: Do you want me to shoot you and bury you in that hole? Cause really I have nothing else to lose. York: Why did you quit CTU and then go after me anyways? Smith: You were always the target. The goal for me wasn't to have Agent 69 replace you. The goal was to get you to be vulnerable. To get you to be a ghost. To get you to have an alibi so that when you and I opened the terrorist organization's New Australia's vault there could be no coceivable way for you to actually be there. York: Alright, I work for New Australia. We're planning on causing an earthquake in the southwestern united states to separate a new continent of Australia out from the United States. You know how frustrating it is to harbor memories of the country known as Australia and no one else remembers it? I wanted people to remember. That's why I joined. Smith: Okay, you're cooperating. Smith pushes York forward slightly with his gun. Smith: Let's go to the vault. E-(10min, crowd down) The Don is reviewing video footage of Ash Campbell and Nevada Nuclear in the torture chamber. He attempts to read the lips of the two individuals and eventually deciphers the whole yacht business. The Don pours through some of his records and finds the location of Adam Ryland's yacht. The Don then speeds off. Meanwhile... Nevada Nuclear and Ash Campbell are in Adam Ryland's yacht. Ash Campbell is tied up. Nuclear: So what did you want from this yacht? Ash: I need the computer. Nuclear: Why? Ash: I was in contact with Jerry Martin who was being possessed by Adam Ryland. He told me about a computer containing all the information on TEW on this yacht. I want it. Nuclear: So you're a thief now? Ash: Wait! Hold on! I am Adam Ryland! I switched bodies with Jerry Martin! Nuclear: So now you're a liar???? Nevada Nuclear begins to stab Ash Campbell. On the outside of the seafaring yacht another boat is attached alongside it. Some mafia men are jumping onto the yacht while The Don is overseeing the operation. The mafia men enter the compartment containing Nuclear and Campbell. The men see Nuclear stabbing Campbell and so one of them shoots Nevada Nuclear in the shoulder getting him to stop. The mafia men pick up the unconscious and critical Nuclear and Campbell and carry them onto The Don's seafaring vessal. The mafia men hook Nuclear and Campbell up to some medical equipment. Meanwhile... Freddy Huggins is in a bed with a Lengerie wearing Dharma Gregg. A monitor on the room of the locale shows J.K. Stallings Jr. in a wheel chair looking down on the two pre-coitus humanoids. Stallings: Okay, now kiss her. Freddy Huggins kisses Dharma Gregg. E+(14min, crowd down) Undefeated and Burning EXILE are staring each other down in the ring. Undefeated dominates the match despite interference from Des Davids. D+(6min) Freddy Huggins and Cherry Bomb take their turn in the ring. The match ends with Freddy Huggins ending the match with a Huggins Kiss. The Scientist: Ugghhh...Freddy Huggins used the Super Kick and not as a counter. He sucks. D-(8min, crowd down) Wanda Fish and Speedy Giant Gonzales now meet in the ring. Wanda Fish goes for a side headlock but Gonzales counters with an eye gouge. Gonzales is disqualified. Downpour: Apparently, Wanda Fish matches are subject to strict disqualifications as well as all her other rules. D+(2min, Great Chemistry, The performance of Wanda Fish stood out as being good) Show Rating: D- Advance Booking: Wanda Fish versus Speedy Giant Gonzales-E Undefeated versus Burning EXILE-F Cherry Bomb versus Des Davids-F

BuddyGarner · February 22, 2007

152 people at the Ohio Jewish Center on Friday, Week 3 August 2007: Citizen X is cutting an in ring promo. Citizen X: J.K. Stallings the Third inhabited my body for quite some time. I felt compelled to speak on his behalf against the injustices that Adam Ryland has committed. Joanne Rodriguez has stated that her case is that it's okay to kill wrestlers as long as they suck. Adam Ryland didn't kill J.K. Stallings the Third's father. From now on I'm just going to say my father because without his actual prescence I am the one most able to speak on his behalf. This isn't some trick to help the robots win. I legitimately feel for my former body inhabitant and his-my father. My dad had everything. He was running a fed that could *begins to cry*. [I]Suddenly an earthquake begins to occur[/I] Oh my god, I know what this is. It's happening again. Adam Ryland is altering the timeline. You bastard!!! [I]The camera points at the audience and one of the audience member's faces begins to morph into Buck Graham's[/I] You son of...! You're altering the timeline to put in a bunch of crappy wrestlers! This isn't what my father would've wanted! *cries harder* I'm sorry that my speech doesn't have much of a point. But what you did is unforgivable! When I help the robots rule the world, I won't let you code Wrestling Spirit anymore! I'll put you in prison for a long time! I'll paralyze you just like you did my dad! That was the only way you could make him leave the business! [I]The earthquake stops[/I] Glad to see you're finished Mr. Ryland. I will find you. [I]Citizen X throws the microphone at Buck Graham's face and begins beating the crap out of him[/I] Tell me where Adam Ryland is!!!!!! Tell me!!!!!!!! E-(10min, crowd down) Wanda Fish is in a flashy office when Valiant enters. Valiant: You wanted to see me? Wanda: No I didn't. I wanted to hear myself talk and I wanted you to implement my ideas without asking any questions. I was watching the new SWF DVD entitled SWF's Most Shocking Moments and one of the storylines I saw that got nicked was that Richard Eisen was going to face Ana Garcia to have sex with him and make Tom Gilmore watch. I thought this was a great storyline. Valiant: Well, I don't think it's a good idea to put such shocking moments in a fed. It takes away from the wrestling. Wanda: Shut up! Wrestling is boring. I'm working for three feds right now and I'm sick of it. Wrestling is so repetitive. There's only so many 'stories' you can tell in the ring and I've seen them all. My job is to destroy this fed and I want to have fun doing it. I'm so glad that I get to have a one minute match with Speedy Garbage Gonzales and going home after that. Valiant: Well, it's not what the story is about, it's how it is about what. Take a commonly used storyline like the what would've happened if the main character was never born story. It's been used hundreds of times but I never get sick of it! It's the character differences that make it interesting. Just like in wrestling, it's the different sorts of characters that make each match interesting and unique even though a lot of moves and the psychology is the same. Wanda Fish: Shut up I said. I was thinking about Richard Eisen's weakness in not putting such a great storyline in the ring and I want to one-up him. I'm going to get breast augmentation surgery and I want you to get similar augmentation and then we're going to have sex in the ring. Valiant: That's kind of gross. Wanda: I don't care if you think it's gross. That just makes it more enjoyable for me knowing that I'm dragging you down into the most depraved storyline in wrestling history. Valiant: And I'm not quite sure what you want me to augment? Wanda: I'm not going to spell it out for you. There's pretty much only one part that qualifies. Ask somebody else what part I mean. Valiant: I love Katie Cameron!!!! Wanda: Good, then I'll make her watch. Valiant: How about if we face in a match and if I win then I don't have to have sex with you and don't get augmented? Wanda: Fine, I'll try to find room on my schedule for it. Don't get your hopes up about ever having the match though. Valiant: So I don't have to get the augmentation yet right? Wanda: No you assume everything is going to plan, you get that augmentation ASAP and if I happen to be able to schedule you into a match in the meantime, so be it. Wanda Fish looks down and begins to work on some paper work. Valiant waits a minute for any sort of reaction from Wanda Fish, he doesn't get any so he leaves. D+(10min, Risk: High, Valiant performed poorly) Agent 69 and The Scientist are sitting in a lavish production studio. The Scientist: I have the final cut of the Des Davids porn film. I wanted you to look over it and see if you wanted to make any edits. Agent 69: With all due respect, I think we should be more worried about finding Jerry Martin and interrogating Nevada Nuclear. The Scientist: I'm not sure what the situation is but what I know is that unforseen circumstances have pushed our investigations in that matter to next week. I always need to be working on something so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to begin editing the porn flic. Agent 69: This seems more like Cherry Bomb's jurisdiction. The Scientist: Cherry Bomb doesn't want to see Dharma Gregg's naked body. Can we start watching the film now? Agent 69: Can I just help edit the non-pornographic parts? The Scientist: No, most people fast forward through those parts anyways. Agent 69: I thought the whole point of this movie was to give the porno audience a taste of wrestling? The Scientist: Well, it's worth a shot but I'm just being realistic. Agent 69: Okay, let's start the movie. God, I can't believe Dharma Gregg is undefeated. Of course, it's easy when all you face is Charlezze Angel all the time. The Scientist presses play on his remote. E(10min, crowd down) Sara Marie York is being followed by Bulldozer Brandon Smith who has a gun pointed at her back. Sara: Alright, we're almost there. I'm hungry can we get something to eat? Smith: Alright, but remember if you try to run I will shoot you. I don't care if I get arrested. All I care about is my country. Sara Marie York and Bulldozer Brandon Smith enter a Burger King. Bulldozer orders 20 whopper juniors for the both of them. They then sit down at a table. Sara: So, what's the plan? Smith: First, you're going to tell me about the layout of the base. Sara: Before, we go inside, there's something you should know. The device that's going to be used to create New Australia isn't an object, it's a robot, Gargantuan. Smith: It's still a threat to my country. Sara: Look, I really don't care anymore. I'll go in, let you have Gargantuan and then can I go home. I'll kill Agent 69 and take her place right back to tie up any lose ends. Smith: That's actually a really good idea. You have my word that once I have Gargantuan you can go free. Smith and Sara head over to an abondoned warehouse. Smith enters and shoots two guards dead. Sara Marie York proceeds over to a locked door and puts her hand on a control panel. The locked door opens revealing Gargantuan. BBS: You can go now. E+(20min, Risk: High, crowd down) Joanne Rodriguez is in the ring with a mic. Rodriguez: After Citizen X's irrelevant but impashioned plea, I've decided that it's time to bring some logic and rational decision making back into this case. History is very important. It helps predict the future. In the wrestling industry past match up history is the predominant determinant in predicting who will win future match ups. So in my argument today, I'm going to over past wrestling legal precedents to determine that Adam Ryland is not worthy of any punishment. In HGC versus Madman Boone, Madman Boone was accused of the murder of Chaim Silvermen. The murder of Chaim Silverman had occurred many years before the case happened. Madman Boone had powerbombed Chaim Silverman through a flaming table just for the hell of it and Chaim Silverman died later that day of a heart failure. Madman Boone suffered no punishment for the crime as it was thought that the two incidents were coincidental. However, when Troy Tornado was fueding with Madman Boone for the HGC Hardcore Title, Troy Tornado found forensic evidence that it was in fact the powerbomb that resulted in Chaim Silverman's death. The acting Judge of the Case Floyd Goldworthy ruled that the murder was not to be subject to any form of punishment as the powerbomb resulted in entertaining the crowd therefore the murder was worth it. Adam Ryland causing the personality death of Stephen Cuthill into Ripper LeStat resulted in the transition of a boring announcer into a well known U.K. wrestler. Adam Ryland murdering The Player was justified because it allowed the far more interesting and dynamic Jack and Jane Avatar to take his place. Adam Ryland resulting in the paralysis of J.K. Stallings Junior entertained the crowd by allowing Tommy Cornell to take control of HGC and resulted in the hilarious joke of TCW being known as Tommy Cornell Wrestling. And J.K. wasn't even a wrestler, so nobody cares about him. I have no futher statements, your honors, the audience. D-(14min, crowd down) Cherry Bomb and Citizen X meet in the ring. A typical match occurs with a lot of irish whips and a bunch of low level moves when out of nowhere Cherry Bomb hits the Cherry Popper. E+(6min, crowd down) Undefeated meets Burning EXILE in the ring. Both competitors are uninterested given how often they've faced. Undefeated hits the surfboard, Lucha Bow and Arrow, and pick up oppononent from behind and applies the Double Chicken wing chain. Then he goes for some finishers until he hits one and wings the match. D+(8min, Undefeated is starting to become a little stale in his current role) Wanda Fish and Speedy Giant Gonzales take their turn in the ring. Wanda Fish applies a side headlock for a bit and then hits a low blow. The Don rules a disqualification and holds Gonzales' hand in victory. Sara Silver approaches the ring and speaks with The Don. The Don: The winner as a result of a Disqualification, Wanda Fish! Gonzales blocked a punch to the gut with his nuts, which is illegal in a Wanda Fish rules match. D(2min, Great Chemistry, crowd bored by special guest referee, Wanda Fish looked good) Show Rating: D-

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