Harlem Wrestling Alliance...Bad just got a lot worse!

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]News From Around The World[/B] Royal Wrestling Association, a Pure wrestling company based out of the UK has recently moved up the list of active wrestling promotions from "local" to "small." The move isn't expected to have much of an impact on HWA due to the differance in style and the distance between the two companies. In shocking news Star SWF Manager Ares Aegaleus left the company to compete over seas for BHOTWG just one day after being named "The greatest manager in the world." No one from either side were available for comment and it's unclear the circumstances behind the sudden departure. [B]HWA News[/B][/CENTER] As the title suggests Bad just got a lot worse in HWA. Star villian Krooked Kop Kennedy has left the company for a developmental contract with Chicago Championship Wrestling, a developmental territory for APWF. Kennedy was involved in a red hot feud with co-worker Magnum Johnson. The storyline has since been scraped and it's unclear what direction the company will take from here. In an attempt to stop the bleeding HWA has hired on 3 new workers in hopes of making up for the departure of KKK. Jerome Ramsey has agreed to a 150 dollar per month contract withe the company with hopes of seeing his career take new heights. The Mad Hungarian, known for his strapping mustache also signed a contract that could very well send the company to an early grave. Reports are the contract was worth over 1,000 dollars per month with a downside of 600. The third and final new comer to HWA is a young man by the name of Corporal Doom. It's rumored that Doom will be taking on the name "The Baby Killer" in an attempt to play off the heat of The conflict in Vietnam. At this time it's unclear as to what role any of these athletes will take in HWA at this time.

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]HWA Presents… [SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]Turf Wars[/COLOR][/SIZE] Live from The Western Gymnasium in New Jersey Attendance: 29[/B] [B] Warren Young Vs. The Rainbow Warrior[/B] You have to love the matches where the fans hate both competitors. This match couldn’t have ended quick enough, and yet for some reason I had it last 8 minutes. Warren Young defeated The Rainbow Warrior in 8:13 by pinfall with a MVP Moonsault. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E-[/COLOR][/B] After the match Bulletproof came to the ring, wearing a flack jacket (yeah he learns), and demands Young tells him everything he knows. Young tells him the man he’s seeking is in the building tonight. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] [B] Magnum Johnson Vs. Redneck Bill[/B] With the KKK storyline being scrapped we salvaged what we could by having Bill come to the ring with the belt. Of course he was half drunk and as it turns out the belt was all that he had covering himself, but that’s neither here nor there. The match was unspectacular at best, and after Johnson had his way with him he grabbed the belt off of Bill leaving him beaten and exposed in the middle of the ring. Magnum Johnson defeated Redneck Bill in 10:40 by pinfall with a Street Justice. Magnum Johnson makes defense number 3 of his HWA King of New York title. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] After the match Bulletproof hit the ring and attacked Magnum Johnson accusing him of shooting him. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E-[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="Red"]Final Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] Notes: All things considered, this wasn’t bad at all. Having lost all momentum due to losing KKK, Bulletproof is becoming… ah who am I kidding he’s still wet garbage. [B]Vital Statistics:[/B] Prestige: 3.6 ([COLOR="Green"]+.1[/COLOR]) Money: 32062 ([COLOR="Red"]-1,433[/COLOR]) Pop: 6.0 ([COLOR="Green"]+.6[/COLOR]) [/CENTER]

[Sons of Kohral]

[QUOTE=mad5226;422469]It's rumored that Doom will be taking on the name "The Baby Killer" in an attempt to play off the heat of The conflict in Vietnam. [/QUOTE] Very smart, I really want to see how you use him in your shows. I think it could be interesting him trying to recruit the wrestlers for the service.

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]HWA Presents… [SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]D-Day[/COLOR][/SIZE] Live from The Western Gymnasium in New Jersey Attendance: 38[/B] The show opened with a backstage segment of Rainbow Warrior and Action Jackson playing a game of Monopoly. Rainbow Warrior picks a card. Warrior: [COLOR="Red"]“[I]You whistled at a white women go directly to jail.[/I] Man I never win.”[/COLOR] Jackson shakes his head in disbelief then stands and walks away. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E+[/COLOR][/B] [B]The Baby Killer Vs. Lefty Jenson[/B] The Baby Killer came to the ring with a small infant doll in his arms. He then proceeded to rip off limbs and toss them at the booing crowd. The match was more of a squash with The Baby Killer doing jumping jacks and push-ups over the broken body of Jenson, until he decided enough was enough and made the easy pin. The Baby Killer defeated Lefty Jenson in 9:50 by pinfall with a Napalm Blast. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] After the match The Baby Killer grabbed the mic. Killer: [COLOR="Red"]“I’m sick of how worthless this nation has become. None of you have seen what I’ve seen, or done what I’ve done. And still you have the audacity to boo me? Meanwhile you have a N***** in the back who’s f****** a gook disease infested whore! Well I’m here to better this piece of sh** company, and I won’t rest until it’s fixed.”[/COLOR] With that Killer drops the mic and heads to the back flipping off the record setting crowd. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: D-[/COLOR][/B] [B]Mr. G Vs. The Mad Hungarian[/B] The best part about this match was The Hungarian’s impressive porno looking mustache. It’s clear he’s a real ladies man. Meanwhile Mr. G ate more wings than he had offensive maneuvers…just another day at HWA. The Mad Hungarian defeated Mr. G in 7:47 by pinfall. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: D-[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="Red"]Final Rating: D-[/COLOR][/B] Notes: Well you could say that the new talent brought in helped A LOT! Of course they are going to break the bank, but hey that was happening anyway, perhaps I’ll put off the planned suicide for now. [B]Vital Statistics:[/B] Prestige: 3.7 ([COLOR="Green"]+.1[/COLOR]) Money: 32062 ([COLOR="Red"]-3,928[/COLOR]) OUCH! Pop: 7.0 ([COLOR="Green"]+1[/COLOR]) [/CENTER]

[Zakarl]

This is so freaking hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Why wasn't Magnum Johnson on your last show?

[Mr T Jobs To Me]

[QUOTE=mad5226;423745] The show opened with a backstage segment of Rainbow Warrior and Action Jackson playing a game of Monopoly. Rainbow Warrior picks a card. Warrior: [COLOR="Red"]“[I]You whistled at a white women go directly to jail.[/I] Man I never win.”[/COLOR] Jackson shakes his head in disbelief then stands and walks away. [B] Rating: [COLOR="RoyalBlue"]A*[/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE] Nice.

[mad5226]

[QUOTE=Zakarl;423813]This is so freaking hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Why wasn't Magnum Johnson on your last show?[/QUOTE] No real reason, he was on the show before that. And with only 2 matches per show I'm just trying to share the wealth. [quote] Originally Posted by [B]Mr T Jobs To Me[/B] Nice[/quote] Thank you kind sir for the A* I could really use that lol. For the record however I am not the mastermind behind the monopoly thing. I was watching an episode of Family Guy and heard it on there and just thought "this would be perfect for my diary" Still I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]News from around the world[/B] We start the day off with sad news. United Kingdom Wrestling Alliance based out of the UK are shutting their doors this month. The rumor is the company was bleeding money at an alarming rate and the banks were worried about getting their return on the investment. The wrestling world continues to decline along with the economy and with it another great wrestling company is feeling the severity of it. Mexico's great wrestling company OLLIE has been a National powerhouse in the country down south, but not anymore. In a recent power ranking OLLIE is now seen as a "Cult Sized Promotion." The shakeup has many people in Mexico scared they may be out of a job, but at the time of this release no one has been released. Another SWF star calls it quits this month when Antonio Moretti informs officials he's ready to call it quits. Moretti was perhaps the biggest star in SWF and is remembered for his amazing matches with recently retired Ares Aegaleus. SWF however doesn't seem to concerned about the recent turn of events and just days after the announcement SWF made one of their own saying they recently hired 18 year old Warload Agony to a deal. The rumor is Agony will be tossed into a tag team called the Lords of War and could get a solid push for the SWF tag team titles. [B]HWA News[/B] In local news this months HWA event "Gone to Hell" could be the last of the year. It's rumored that not only is HWA losing money at an alarming rate, but the company has also been broken into several times this year and many personal refuse to come back to work until security improves. KKK used to double as the night time security guard for extra pay, but since his departure the position has yet to be filled[/CENTER]

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]HWA Presents… [COLOR="Red"][SIZE="5"]Gone to Hell[/SIZE][/COLOR] Live from The Western Gymnasium in New Jersey Attendance: 29[/B] The show starts off with Dancin’ Rick and Disco Stu in the ring. They announce that tonight they are challenging anyone in the back to a dance off. As they start to dance in the middle of the ring Tron the Pusher and Silky Seymoure hit the ring. They start to dance then decide it will be better to just beat the hell out of their opponents. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E+[/COLOR][/B] [B]Hood Rich Vs. Boggy Nights[/B] A real garbage of a match, not that you expected anything different. Silky was off his game tonight, as if that’s possible. Not only did Hood Rich get beat in the dance off they got beat in the ring too. Boogie Nights defeated Hood Rich in 10:47 when Dancin' Rick defeated Tron the Pusher by pinfall with a Stayin' Alive. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: F+[/COLOR][/B] [B]HWA King of New York Title Match: Magnum Johnson Vs. Bulletproof[/B] An interesting match here, with Bulletproof accusing Magnum of shooting him. Apparently his detective skills match his wrestling skills. Johnson dominated this match from the start but strangely the ending came when a masked figure came down and attacked Bulletproof. Magnum Johnson defeated Bulletproof in 6:37 by pinfall after outside interference. Magnum Johnson makes defense number 4 of his HWA King of New York title. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] As the beating continued Magnum went over to try and stop the masked man which resulted in him getting his ass kicked too. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: F+[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="Red"]Final Rating: E-[/COLOR][/B] Notes: This was a where we tried to put on a quality show without breaking the bank. I know quality in HWA what was I thinking. [B]Vital Statistics:[/B] Prestige: 3.8 ([COLOR="Green"]+.1[/COLOR]) Money: 26448 ([COLOR="Red"]-1,686[/COLOR]) Pop: 7.4 ([COLOR="Green"]+.4[/COLOR]) [/CENTER]

[pat21532]

i'm enjoying this

[Sons of Kohral]

hmmm... who is this masked man.... very good. don't stop this

[Zakarl]

Magnum didn't need a match, but I thought that since he's your top Champion he should've at least gotten a promo or angle to maintain visibility... As for the masked man: Krooked Kop Kennedy! Yeah, I wish.

[mad5226]

[QUOTE=Zakarl;424140]Magnum didn't need a match, but I thought that since he's your top Champion he should've at least gotten a promo or angle to maintain visibility... As for the masked man: Krooked Kop Kennedy! Yeah, I wish.[/QUOTE] Yeah I wish too lol. As far as the Magnum thing goes...I would agree with you if I were WWE. You have to remember I'm losing money by the thousands and everyone is on a PPA contract. I can't afford to bring magnum in for a promo if he doesn't have a match..sad isn't it.

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]News from around the world[/B] Mexican Pro Wrestling company OLLIE continues to struggle. Last month was the drop in size, and now this month OLLIE has lost their tv contract. It's only a matter of time now before someone in that company pushes the panic button. In a recent survey done by The New York Times it's side that Corporal Doom, better known in Harlem as The Baby Killer, is the best young prospect in the world today. Expect HWA to change all of that. [B] HWA News[/B] In sad news HWA legendary road agent Old Man Rivers passed away this month. Rivers was with HWA since they opened their doors and helped put together the gimmicks of KKK and Magnum Johnson. As a sign of respect for Rivers HWA has decided to hold The Old Man Rivers Memorial a special 1 hour show that they plan to make the biggest event of the year. HWA has hired Jim Knobb to continue the Road Agent duties.[/CENTER]

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]HWA Presents… [SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]Old Man Rivers Memorial[/COLOR][/SIZE] Live from The Western Gymnasium in New Jersey Attendance: 34[/B] [B]Mr. G Vs. Tron the Pusher[/B] What a great way to start the day, a drug dealer against a man who loves chicken. This was actually a decent match that had both men use every weapon they could get their hands on, thank god because if they were to actually wrestler we would be in trouble. Mr. G defeated Tron the Pusher in 7:46 by pinfall with a Brawler's Delight. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] We go back stage now where The Baby Killer has Omar Grandsbury and Jerome Ramsey against the wall. Killer: [COLOR="Red"]“Listen up maggots, my name is drill instructor Doom. It is my job to get pathetic pieces of crap into shape. You will speak only when spoken to and the first and last words out of your disgusting little mouths will be sir, do you maggots understand?”[/COLOR] Group: [COLOR="Blue"]“Sir, yes sir!”[/COLOR] (Killer walks up to Grandsbury.) Killer: [COLOR="Red"]“What’s your name Scumbag?”[/COLOR] Grandsbury: [COLOR="Blue"]“Sir, Private Grandsbury sir!”[/COLOR] Killer: [COLOR="Red"]“Bullsh** from now on you’re Private Snowball. Do you like that name?”[/COLOR] Grandsbury: [COLOR="Blue"]“Sir, yes sir!”[/COLOR] (Killer continues to yell at his “troops” then has them do pushups as the camera fades out.) [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E+[/COLOR][/B] [B]Redneck Bill Vs. Warren Young[/B] Young has a lot of talent, but for what ever reason the crowd hates him. Makes things very difficult for me. Bill continued his racist ways being the hell out of Young after the match was already declared. Redneck Bill defeated Warren Young in 8:14 by pinfall with a Yuns Bey Eyein Mah Dawtur. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E-[/COLOR][/B] Backstage now Mr. G is walking along when he here’s music coming from another room, he opens the door and sees Rainbow Warrior dancing on the table in his underwear to YMCA. Disgusted Mr. G hurries past. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] [B]The Rainbow Warrior Vs. The Mad Hungarian[/B] Everyone loves the mustache, and they hate the queer. Rainbow tried to get an “I’m Every Women” chant started but that failed miserably, much like his wrestling career. The Mad Hungarian defeated The Rainbow Warrior in 10:48 by submission. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E+[/COLOR][/B] We go backstage again this time to see Bulletproof laying in a pool of his own blood…has he been shot? I could only wish. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] [B]The Baby Killer Vs. Action Jackson[/B] The main event of the night, and no one seems to like The Baby Killer. Not that he cares he dominated this match even got down to yell in the face of Action Jackson for not taking a punch like a real Marine. The Baby Killer defeated Action Jackson in 9:51 by pinfall with a Napalm Blast. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E+[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="Red"]Final Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] Notes: The lengthier show helped I think, of course I also am afraid to talk to the accountant who is a shady man with ties to the Mafia, but that’s another story. [B]Vital Statistics:[/B] Prestige: 3.9 ([COLOR="Green"]+.1[/COLOR]) Money: 23000 ([COLOR="Red"]-3,448[/COLOR]) Pop: 8.0 ([COLOR="Green"]+.6[/COLOR]) [/CENTER]

[Mr T Jobs To Me]

I love that the HWA crowd craps on everyone, even the better workers. I was moved by the gesture of the Old Man Rivers Memorial, you're inching your way up to Small!

[mad5226]

[QUOTE=Mr T Jobs To Me;424521]I love that the HWA crowd craps on everyone, even the better workers.[/QUOTE] I'm glad you're loving it, because it's killing me [QUOTE=Mr T Jobs To Me;424521]you're inching your way up to Small![/QUOTE] That's what she said :eek:

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]Christmas in Harlem[/B] I gave the guys the month off. I told them it was because of the great job they were doing and all the hard work they were putting in month in and month out, but the reality was I wanted to save money and I needed to take a break from perhaps the worst wrestling of all time. The plan more or less backfired however seeing as we only made 872 dollars. To make matters worse I was going back over “the goals” Warren set for me at the beginning of this nightmarish job only to find out that I wasn’t suppose to lose money after two years. So to sum things up I had about 14 months to not only start making money (a feat in itself) but I also had to make 16,280 in that time or I ran the risk of getting fired from the worst company in the history of wrestling. As if that wasn’t trouble enough on Christmas, apparently Harlem has a bit of a different tradition. That’s right, instead of having Carolers going door to door they have…what’s the word…or right, drive bys. Wonder how I can work this into the storyline?[/CENTER]

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]HWA Presents… [SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]A Harlem New Year[/COLOR][/SIZE] Live from The Western Gymnasium in New Jersey Attendance: 27[/B] We start the new year off with a hoe…yay! Zhi-Gong is walking around backstage when she sees The Baby Killer. She stops inches in front on him turns and bends in front of him, her tiny skirt riding up revealing a pink thong. The Baby Killer grins licking his lips as Gong walks off with a grin on her face. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E+[/COLOR][/B] [B]Silky Seymoure Vs. Dancin’ Rick[/B] We start the first match off right by putting together what could be the worst match in history. Score one for the bad guys. Silky Seymoure defeated Dancin' Rick in 7:45 by pinfall with a Big Pimpin'. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: F+[/COLOR][/B] Mr. G comes out and says he has a new pre-match ritual that helps him better focus for the up coming match. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: D-[/COLOR][/B] [B]Mr. G Vs. Magnum Johnson[/B] Not a horrible match, Magnum is a great wrestler at least by our standards. And Mr. G…well he loves his wings. Still this was a non-title match and I guess his new routine works for him cause he scored the upset. Mr. G defeated Magnum Johnson in 10:07 by pinfall with a Brawler's Delight. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E+[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="Red"] Final Rating: E[/COLOR][/B] Notes: Is The Baby Killer going to hook up with the whore? What is this new “routine” that got Mr. G the upset over the champ? Does anyone really care at all? Find out next month! [B]Vital Statistics:[/B] Prestige: 4.0 ([COLOR="Green"]+.1[/COLOR]) Money: 22700 ([COLOR="Red"]-1,172[/COLOR]) Pop: 8.4 ([COLOR="Green"]+.4[/COLOR])[/CENTER]

[W3LSHY]

Just read this, its a brilliant, funny read :) inspired me to download the '75 mod and try my hand at HWA, maybe even start a dynasty perhaps? ;)

[mad5226]

No run far far away from Harlem my friend =)

[mad5226]

[CENTER][B]HWA Presents… [SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]Overload[/COLOR][/SIZE] Live from The Western Gymnasium in New Jersey Attendance: 38[/B] [B]Bulletproof Vs. Action Jackson[/B] We start the night off with a “great” match from Bulletproof. He of course dominated this match on his way to trying to find his shooter. Bulletproof defeated Action Jackson in 6:14 by pinfall with a Bulletproof Stage Dive. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E-[/COLOR][/B] After the match Bulletproof grabbed a mic. He said that after months of investigation he knows who shot him. He claims it was Redneck Bill trying to rid the world of perhaps the greatest black man to wrestle in this sport. Bill comes out and says Bulletproof doesn’t have all the pieces to the puzzle yet, but all will be revealed next month. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: E-[/COLOR][/B] [B]Lefty Johnson Vs. Redneck Bill[/B] Classic HWA wrestling here. We had the crowd crap all over both my guys, they didn’t click, there was a lack of flow in the middle of the match, and they were both tired…God I love this company. Redneck Bill defeated Lefty Jenson in 11:52 by pinfall with a Get Offa Mah Propertah. [B][COLOR="Red"]Rating: F[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR="Red"]Final Rating: F+[/COLOR][/B] Final Notes: Help me… Vital Statistics: Prestige: 4.1 ([COLOR="Green"]+.1[/COLOR]) Money: 22108 ([COLOR="Red"]-592[/COLOR]) Pop: 8.6 ([COLOR="Green"]+.2[/COLOR])[/CENTER]

[mistaken]

[QUOTE=mad5226;429513][center] Final Notes: Help me… [/CENTER][/QUOTE] sorry the national reinvigoration of Harlem will not start until 1979, Help for you is not in the budget at this time. :D on a more positive note, look at it this way, at least things are so bad, an F+ still lets you see an improvement in your overness. and at your current money lost to improvement seen ratio, you might make it to an E- overness before you tank, that a good year away!

[mad5226]

wow thanks for the err...positive? news =)

[Beeker]

[QUOTE=mad5226;429513][B]HWA Presents… [SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]Overload[/COLOR][/SIZE][/b] [B]Lefty Johnson Vs. Redneck Bill[/B] Classic HWA wrestling here. We had the crowd crap all over both my guys, they didn’t click, there was a lack of flow in the middle of the match, and they were both tired…God I love this company. [/QUOTE] Nothing funnier than struggling to survive with craptacular wrestlers AND they can't figure out how to get all sweaty together... in a manly, heterosexual way of course!