EWA: Why People Almost Care About Wrestling In Europe, But Hate Themselves For It

Jman2k3 · July 24, 2009

Joss Thompson vs. Marat Khoklov: Pointless Filler Match!

Double Dutch vs. The Force©: EWA Tag Team titles

Danny Patterson vs. Bam Bam Johansson

Beast Bantom vs. Hercules Johansson©: EWA European title

Haiti Voodude vs. Spiros The Mighty

??? vs. Louis Figo Manico©: EWA Universal title

Unless the mystery man is Lantz Sheridan, Dave Dexter, or the greatest wrestler alive....Scott "Scorpion" Stevens I don't see Manico getting beat until mystery man reveals himself and builds it up to the next ppv.

Comradebot · July 25, 2009

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA.jpg

EWA Berlin Brawl 2011

January 2011 Week 4

From Berlin, Germany in front of 9081 fans and LIVE on PPV!

Dark Show:

Soviet Union vs. White Knight & Leigh Burton

Soviet Union defeated Leigh Burton and White Knight in 5:24 when Boris Kiriyakin defeated Leigh Burton by pinfall with a Red Square.

D

Mystery Segment #1

C

Mystery Segment #2

D+

Main Show:

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The final notes of a fiery, yet dark, tune cry out from the guitar. With a thump the instrument grows quiet, allowing Louis Figo Manico to calmly place it up against the wall in his locker room.

Louis Figo Manico: I believe I realize, and hopefully not too late, my folly here in the EWA. As much as my heart wishes that this company, this business as a whole, was based on the loves and desires of the fans that ultimately pay the salary of the men working in it, it is not the case. For every man, woman, and child who wishes to see a fair fight in this most prestigious of sports, there is always at least one man who would sacrifice everything professional wrestling stands for in order to achieve his own selfish desires. Such is the case of this… “mystery assailant” as the people have called him. But I… Louis… Figo… MANICO call him something else. He is a coward, not even capable of showing his face to the man he attacked without warning. The likes of men like Bam Bam Johansson and Marat Khoklov have always managed to do at least that much, even myself in a moment of most regrettable weakness.

But this “mystery assailant”? He does not. Perhaps this means he is the ultimate form of coward. Yes, yes I would like to believe this to be the case. However, I have been around this business longer than nearly all of my peers and have started to recognize the signs that, along with his treacherous ways, this man is also intelligent. Hiding his face does more than protect him from retribution. Indeed, it gives him a power no honorable man would dare seek, let alone possess. Tonight he shall willingly show me the face he has hidden behind smoke and shadow for the last month, and that is the word that sinks in the back of my mind: willingly. I shall face him as an honorable man, much like I have for two decades now. He, however, will not afford me the same luxury. Perhaps, my friends, I am playing right into his manipulative hands. I fear a storm coming for the EWA, the likes of which European wrestling has never seen…

Manico retrieves the old, wooden guitar from his side and returns to plucking its strings, issuing out another sullen Spanish melody.

B+

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Joss Thompson vs. Marat Khoklov

Poor Joss Thompson, didn’t he remember what happened at the LAST PPV?! Perhaps Khoklov beat him so hard then that he suffered short term memory loss. This month was… well, basically the same. The Russian Giant showed little mercy to his small American opponent, beating him with a combination of speed and power unseen in any other wrestler. A neck snapping Moscow Lariat later and Khoklov found himself once again victorious.

Marat Khoklov defeated Joss Thompson in 10:42 by pinfall with a Moscow Lariat.

C+

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Marat Khoklov raises his own hand in victory, threatening to slap down the referee for attempting to do it for him. Like some sort of beast out of the depths of Hell, an ear piercing screech suddenly rips through the arena! Even Khoklov falls to his knees, looking up at the Euro-tron just in time to see it flicker to life:

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The ear-splitting screech continues for a few, brief seconds as the message on the Euro-tron continues to flicker around the screen. As quickly as it began, the sound and message vanish. Khoklov returns to his feet, cautiously scanning the arena for an apparent source of the confusion before just as cautiously returning backstage.

B+

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Without touching the knob, Toby Juan Kanobi opens the door to his locker room. Or that’s what he’ll say when asked “Hey Toby Juan, how did you open that door”, since the camera is currently located inside said locker room and we are completely incapable of seeing anything happening outside of it. He rushes over to his partner and apprentice, Jed High.

Toby Juan Kanobi: I come bearing welcome news, my padawan apprentice.

Jed High: So you were able to be granted an audience with the EWA Commissioner, I presume? How did you get past his security while he recovers?

Toby Juan Kanobi: Well, you know how much influence The Force can have over simple minds. But yes, I have spoken with Commissioner Young and he was most sympathetic to the “Good Fight”, as he put it. In our match tonight against Double Dutch, there will ONLY be Double Dutch.

Jed High: So, master, you mean…

Toby Juan Kanobi: Yes. Scott Van Den Berg will not be allowed at ringside, lest his partners be immediately disqualified from the match.

Jed High: Most excellent! Without their hulking hired muscle, those followers of the Dark Side shall be no match for The Force!

Toby Juan Kanobi: Don’t get ****y, Jed. We must keep our minds on target if we are to defeat Double Dutch tonight. The hold of the Dark Side over them grows stronger with each passing day, and if we do not succeed in defeating them now then the consequences will be suffered not by them, but by the galaxy. As its defenders, it is our duty to prevent that from happening.

Jed High: I understand, Master Kanobi. Do not worry, I will not waver at this most crucial of junctures.

Toby Juan Kanobi: Seeing as how it was I who trained you, I would expect nothing less. The time is now upon us, Jed High. May the Force guide us tonight, so we may emerge victorious over the two most evil men the EWA has ever seen.

D+

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http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/RuudVanAnger.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/FrankDePain.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/JedHigh.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/TobyJuanKanobi.jpg

Double Dutch vs. The Force©: EWA Tag Team titles

Holy high fliers Batman! In a spectacle rarely seen in the EWA, a tag match featuring no one over 220lbs will go down as one of the more memorable of the night. Both teams were a blur of high risk speed, with some chain wrestling thrown in for good measure (and to sometimes set up more high risk maneuvers). Double Dutch used their superior experience together to gain an early advantage, using various cheating tactics while their man on the apron repeatedly distracted the referee.

The Force were far from out, with a hot tag to Kanobi sending the Englishmen on a rampage, using stiff kicks to send both Dutchmen tumbling to the mat, eventually sending Ruud Van Anger out of the ring with a well placed arm drag. With Frank De Pain isolated, Kanobi hit the Kanobi Kutter, covering for the pin…

1…

2…

BUT RUUD VAN ANGER SPRINGBOARDED INTO THE RING WITH A CHAIR, SMACKING KANOBI OVER THE HEAD!!! The referee immediately called for the bell, DQing Double Dutch.

The Force defeated Double Dutch in 10:06 when Frank De Pain was disqualified while fighting Toby Juan Kanobi. The Force make defence number 6 of their EWA Tag Team titles.

C

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Jed High scrambled into the ring, but was caught off guard when RVA tossed the chair at him, prompting Jed to catch it. Before he could drop the chair, Van Anger delivered a wicked spin kick into it, sending it crashing right into Jed’s face! With a wave of the arm, Ruud Van Anger gives the signal for Scott Van Den Berg to get into the ring, and he quickly appears from behind the entrance and begins lumbering towards his allies. RVA continues to pound both members of The Force with the chair, while Frank De Pain manages to regain his wits and starts pounding away at Kanobi’s face with his fist. Meanwhile, Van Den Berg slides a pair of tables into the ring. United in the ring, Wild Hagues sets up the tables. Double Dutch first lift Toby Juan Kanobi up, delivering him into the waiting arms of Scott Van Den Berg, who proceeds to drive him through one of the tables with a wicked Powerbomb! The Dutchmen move over to Jed… who starts to fire back with punches!!! But a big boot to the chest by Scott quickly subdues him, and his then rolls him on top of the second table, securing his arms while Frank De Pain grabs his legs, holding him in place. With Jed High helpless, Ruud Van Anger leaps onto the top turnbuckle, and comes down with a Dutch Courage that both snaps the table and Jed High in half!

With The Force broken and bleeding in the ring, and Scott Van Den Berg still stomping away at each of them, Double Dutch roll out to ringside. They make their way over to the EWA Tag Team titles, snatching the belts away from the staff member holding them! With the EWA Tag Team titles in tow, Wild Hagues flees the arena with The Force motionless in the ring, completely unaware that the Dutchmen have stolen their belts!

C

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Hercules Johansson: Harder, brother Bam Bam, you must do it harder!

Bam Bam Johansson: I’m doing it as HARD as I can, bro, yeaaah! Maybe if I TOTALLY just had a shot of vodka…

Hercules Johansson: No, brother, remember Rule Of Alphaness #32.

Bam Bam Johansson: *Sigh*… “A true Alpha only drinks alcohol in order to aid in TOTALLY hooking up with the sexiest of ladies, not that he needs to anyways because he’s GENETICALLY DIFFERENT, therefore… therefore… uhh…”

Hercules Johansson: “He’s GENETICALLY DIFFERENT, therefore he requires no aid in mating with sexy ladies of his choosing, for he is the Alpha.” Now, try again: Flex.

With a great deal of strain, Bam Bam Johansson raises he once glorious pythons and does his best to flex them… quickly doubling over, gasping for breath.

Hercules Johansson: Your flexing is Theta Belgian level at best. Did you totally remember to take your bull shark testosterone today, brother Bam Bam?

Bam Bam Johansson: Uhh….. YYYYEEEAAAAHHHHH?

While Bam Bam continues to try and catch his breath, Hercules grabs the converted sports water bottle labeled “Bam Bam’s BST, YEAH!!!” First the younger Brother Johansson sniffs the bottle, and then takes a swing from inside it, immediately spitting a spray of clear liquid.

Hercules Johansson: This is TOTALLY not bull shark testosterone, brother! This is MORE vodka! And *taking another swig, followed by spit spray*… and it is FRENCH vodka! There is nothing that is the Alpha about France. Have you forgotten everything you taught me about being the Alpha, brother?

Bam Bam Johansson: Uhhh…. YYYEAAeaaah, BRO?!

Hercules Johansson: You have match tonight against Danny Patterson, a likely level 9 Beta who could apply for Alpha status should he ever acquire the Player Style, and you prepare for match by non-socially drinking alcohol from France?

Bam Bam Johansson: It’s… it’s okay… I’ll just TOTALLY *hic* unleash the DRAGON, bro, THE DRRAAAAAggoooooon…..!!

Hercules Johansson: The great Norwegian dragon inside you is dying of asphyxiation from his own flames consuming all his oxygen. You give him no air, and soon he will die, never to be unleashed again. Please, brother Bam Bam, understand the dire nature of your Alpha-necrosis syndrome. If you do not treat it properly, the damage will be irreversible, YEAH! Here, take my bull shark testosterone, and do not stop flexing until you reach the ring, brother.

Hercules thrusts his own bottle of BST towards Bam Bam… who quickly switches it with his French Vodka containing bottle as soon as Hercules turns around. The Brothers Johansson make their way out of the locker room, Bam Bam downing the bottle’s contents and flexing at a Theta level along the way.

B-

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/DannyPatterson.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/BamBamJohansson2.jpg

Danny Patterson vs. Bam Bam Johansson/w Hercules Johansson

It was clear from the start of the match that Bam Bam hadn’t taken his BST, sloppily throwing shots nowhere near as stiff and unsafe as he’s capable of. To make matters worse, Danny Patterson (who still wears his zombie make-up from that gimmick he hasn’t really used since early 2010) is one of the few men who could rival Bam Bam’s strength before he turned to the sauce. The only thing keeping things even was Hercules excellent coaching at ringside, reminding his brother to use such awesome moves as the bodyslam and Bam Bam’s famous running shoulderblock.

But the shoulderblocks just didn’t have enough force behind them. Rather than obliterating Patterson and sending The Tower of London crashing to the ground, he shrugged them off, finally big booting Bam Bam as he came in for one. Dazed, Johansson stumbled right into the waiting hand of Patterson, who Choke Slammed Johansson, pinning him for the three count.

Danny Patterson defeated Bam Bam Johansson in 7:47 by pinfall with a Choke Slam.

C-

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http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/BeastBantom.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/HerculesJohansson.jpg

Beast Bantom vs. Hercules Johansson©: EWA European title

Hercules shook his head at the sight of his defeated brother stumbling drunk backstage, and was soon slugging it out against a different English giant. Basically the standard fare that the fans of the EWA have come to expect (and love), with both men repeatedly locking up in tests of strength, throwing simple, heavy strikes, and on a few occasions punctuating the match with a few impressive slams and other moves which require a great deal of strength.

The champion, Hercules, took control late in the match, softening up Beast Bantom’s back to be more vulnerable to the Hercules Lift.

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And from the backstage, Bam Bam Johansson hits the ring! He throws a wild forearm, looking to connect with Beast Bantom… who easily sidesteps it, sending the shot crashing right into the face of his own brother! Though a bit confused, the referee signals for the bell, DQing a somewhat angry Beast Bantom (who also doesn’t seem interested in staying around after see what just happened!)

Hercules Johansson defeated Beast Bantom in 7:42 when Beast Bantom was disqualified when Bam Bam Johansson ran in and attacked Hercules Johansson. Hercules Johansson makes defence number 3 of his EWA European title.

D+

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Clearly distraught with his own actions, Bam Bam Johansson collapses backwards into a turnbuckle, refusing to make eye contact with Hercules Johansson as he rises back to his feet.

Hercules Johansson: What are you doing, brother?! I am the Alpha, Alpha not need assistance defeating Beast Bantom!

Bam Bam Johansson: …

Hercules Johansson: You, brother, do not speak! Gammas not allowed to speak before Alphas! Ever since you lose EWA Universal title, brother, yeah, you… you not be THE ALPHA NORWEGIAN! Effeminate Byron beat you, you almost lose to man who play golf, the least Alpha of sports, you lose match to perennial nobody Danny Patterson, and then you forget rules of The Alpha Norwegian, costing own brother match, YEAH!!! Only thing INTENSE about you now is INTENSE FAILURE, YEAH!!!

Bam Bam Johansson: I *hic*… just… wanted to help, BRO!...

Hercules Johansson: All you help is Hercules Johansson look like he cannot defeat lesser genetic specimen without help. It is time, brother, I do what I should’ve done month ago.

Hercules Johansson drops the microphone in his hand and stalks towards Bam Bam Johansson. He grabs his equally large sibling, forcing him to his feet… and helps him out of the ring?

Hercules Johansson: Come brother, there are now only the most drastic of measures to take in order to help you. Pray your genetics are still different enough, for you will not survive have they become “normal”.

Gingerly, Hercules Johansson escorts his older brother with him backstage.

C+

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/HaitiVoodude.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/SpirostheMighty.jpg

Haiti Voodude vs. Spiros the Mighty

Alrighty, another match booked for the fat ratings! Another standard match between two heavyweights slugging it out, playing to the crowd, and tossing each other around with impressive displays of strength. Naturally, Spiros the Mighty booked himself to win over the constant Midcard presence that is Haiti Voodude, nailing the Wrath Of The Gods for the win.

Spiros the Mighty defeated Haiti Voodude in 5:46 by pinfall with a Wrath of The Gods.

B-

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With a flare of Spanish guitar (this time not played by him), Louis Figo Manico enters the arena with the EWA Universal title in hand! He walks through the entrance way, pausing briefly to sign a couple of autographs for some kids lucky enough to be sitting in the front row. “The Pain From Spain” starts to climb into the ring, taking a moment while standing on the apron to take in the view of the 9000+ fans in attendance tonight before finally stepping through the ropes.

Louis Figo Manico: Ladies, gentlemen, and children I am… Louis… Figo… MANICO, and I am YOUR EWA Universal champion for at least a few minutes longer tonight. I wish I could say I come before you all tonight with the intention of showing an honorable display of professional wrestling as it was meant to be. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Rather than agree, as gentlemen, to face one another with nothing more than our own bodies, hearts, and souls, the man I am about to face has chosen a… morale low road, so to speak. Not that I am a perfect man myself, but at least if disliked someone I would not resort to such secrecy and cowardice as this… “man”, in the loosest meaning of the word, has. In fact, I do not even have a face or a name to put to this Mystery Assailant. But it is time this changes, si? I am in the ring, alone, “Mystery Assailant”, with the EWA Universal title as promised. End these secrets, and remove yourselves from the shadows so we may settle this matter like men!

If only it were that easy…

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!! Confusion strikes the arena, as seemingly perpetual darkness blankets all but a few people attempting to use cell phones to light the area around them.

And the lights return to their original level of luminescence.

Standing before Louis Figo Manico is…

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Louis Figo Manico: El Brisa?

El Brisa: Aaahhhhhhh senor Manico, the winged sssserpent chickensss sssing sssongsss of utter decadence and peachesss. The great sssserpent, his mouth opened agape, to sssswallow la Luna and that is where the moon cycle and the tidessss come from.

Louis Figo Manico: What are you doing out here, El Brisa? I questioned you personally and found out there is no way you, El Brisa, could’ve been the culprit.

El Brisa: Ahhhh, si, si, si, senor Manico. El Brisa is innocent. El Brisa didn’t attack you... no, no no, senor, it wasn’t El Brisa *in a distinctly British accent* It was me...

With a kick to the gut and a spinning neckbreaker, El Brisa(?) starts the EWA Universal title match!!!

B+

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El Brisa? vs. Louis Figo Manico©: EWA Universal title

Dazed from El Brisa? getting the jump on him, Manico found it hard early on to keep up with the Luchadore’s blazing speed. Even when Manico managed to get him in his grasp, the craft El Brisa? managed to use his own speed chain wrestling to usually wiggle free and toss Manico before Louis could do any serious harm. With Manico wavering, El Brisa? hit a snap hurricanrana and immediately held it for a pin!

1…

2…

Manico with the kick out!!! Again Manico went to work trying to contain the speedster on the ground, but finding only minimal luck at it. A change of strategy was in order, and Manico timed one of his famous text book European Uppercuts perfects, catching El Brisa? as he moved in! Utilizing a nearly Japanese like form of European Brawling/Grappling, El Brisa? was kept off balance as Manico not only kept him ground, but slowly whittled away at various parts of his body. Using his slightly larger size and disciplined technique to his advantage, Manico wriggled his way into the double underhooks, looking for the Madrid Maul on El Brisa?... who countered with another hurricanrana!!! With Manico down, El Brisa? climbed the top rope, and came off looking for the Siesta Bomb… but Manico rolled out of the way! With brilliant precision, Manico snapped El Brisa? off the ground, connecting with a German suplex with a bridge for the pin…

1…

2…

And El Brisa? kicks out!!! With nearly fifteen minutes now passed, both men were feeling the effects of the other’s offense, and soon started busting out with the bigger moves from each of their arsenals: Manico utilizing more suplexes while El Brisa? started using more high risk moves! A missile dropkick connected right into Manico’s gut, sending him tumbling through the ropes and out of the ring! Manico stood up… and right into a brilliant plancha from El Brisa?! Both men start struggling to their feet as the referee begins the count out:

1…

2…

3…

4…

Both men reach their feet, throwing wild rights at each other!

5…

6…

7…

And Manico with a knee facebuster, dropping El Brisa?! He climbs back up, trying to get back into the ring…

8…

9…

Manico grabs the ring… but El Brisa? has him by the foot, pulling him back down and out to ringside!!!

10!!!

El Brisa? drew with Louis Figo Manico in 20:16 following a double count out.

B

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Before the bell can even finish ringing, El Brisa? and Louis Figo Manico are back at it, brawling wildly around the ring, seemingly forgetting all the professional training both men have. Manico takes control, pitching El Brisa? against the steel steps, throwing a few more punches down at him for good measure. LFM backs up, and charges forward a couple of steps looking to kick El Brisa?... who dodges, throwing low blow into Manico in the process!!! In agonizing pain, Manico hits the floor, struggling to deal with shot. Meanwhile, El Brisa? starts digging under the ring… and pulls out a kendo stick! He aims at Manico as he fights to his feet, Manico completely unaware that El Brisa? has armed himself! Manico turns around… and takes a sickening shot to the face, collapsing immediately, clutching his left eye!!! El Brisa? drops the kendo stick on Manico as he writhes on the floor, medics rushing to his aid, chuckling softly at the horrific sight.

A

Overall Rating: B-

Comradebot · July 25, 2009

I'd like to say that this is very much a bit of a "set up" PPV. As a stand alone show, I'll say it ain't my favorite. No Soviet bibles (indeed a saddening lack of Soviets... curse me for giving other workers air time!), arm wrestling, whale punching...

But, again, things need to be set up for the months (as in the next half year or more) to come. Not to mention I now have an itch to make up for its relative lack of zany, hehe.

Phantom Stranger · July 25, 2009

JOEY THE BREEZE!

Lot of fondness for Joey.

Comradebot · July 30, 2009

Saw this was on Youtube, and figured this is the perfect place for it.

Behold, a real life example of the EWA in action!

Part 1:

Part 2:

European Wrestling All-Stars

World Wrestling All-Stars

Coincidence? I think so, yeah.

OH, and next card will hopefully be up either late tonight or tomorrow! Just trying a new combination of storylines, angles, and such... think I'm happy with what is coming up in February of 2011.

Bigpapa42 · July 30, 2009

Loved the show, CB. Read pretty regularly but realize I don't post often enough. So just want to say enjoying and keep up the good work.

And the videos of EWA-style is awesome.

Comradebot · July 30, 2009

WARNING! Backstage Incident Ahead!

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/SpirostheMighty.jpg

Starring: Spiros "The Mighty" Landrakis, Jr

In...

Trouble At Sturgeon Point!

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/ScottVanDenBerg.jpg

“Oh Al, if only you knew your socks saved the world…”

Spiros Landrakis, Jr. is quickly snapped from his sitcom watching stupor by the sound of a loud, slow, indeed ominous, knock at the failing door into his “office”. Quickly, he mutes the television installed in the top left corner of the room while removing his feet from the slightly larger card table now serving as his desk, apparently serving as a replacement for the original.

“Come in.”

The door creaks open, as it’s prone to doing, and through the space it once blocked the corpulent, though menacing, form of Scott Van Den Berg waddles through. The large Dutchmen closes the door behind him, issuing forth another painful creak from some part of its construct. He stares, unblinking, at Spiros.

“Please, Mr. Van Den Berg, take a seat. We have a small matter about your current backstage behavior to discuss.”

Clearly, Van Den Berg takes the phrase “please sit down” as a request rather than a command, as he remains both unmoving and unblinking, staring directly into Spiros’s eyes.

“Or… or you can stand. Nothing wrong with stretching out the ol’ legs. Tell me, Scott, you’re aware of the EWA complaint box, correct? Where workers can anonymously air their grievances to the staff in order to let us know something is wrong?”

“I am aware of how much I dislike it.”

“Oh, so you HAVE heard about it… cool… cool. Well, Scott, we have a small problem.”

“A… problem?”

Van Den Berg looms over at Spiros, clearly not threatened by the equally large (and in better shape!) Greek powerhouse.

“Just a teeny, tiny one. Let me give you an example:

Last week after my match teaming with Adam Matravers I went to get a bottle of water out of the fridge. Upon reaching the refrigerator, I discovered there was only one cold bottle left. As I proceeded to touch the cool water to my lips, Scott Van Den Berg snatched it out of my hand, downed the bottle in seconds, and then laughed at me as he tossed the empty bottle into the trash bin.”

“And?

“And… it keeps going like this. Here’s my personal favorite:

As owner of the EWA, I have my OWN personal parking space at the front of the employee parking area for my own personal use. Upon arriving to the arena tonight for the PPV event, I discovered a vehicle with Dutch plates parked across my space… and two others.”

“It was Double Dutch.”

“Actually, Scott, if you look right here,” Spiros points to a PS on the note, “It says ‘there is no way it was either member of Double Dutch, because they arrived to the arena ten minutes late due to a snowstorm, it HAD to be Scott Van Den Berg’s vehicle.’ And it goes on like that Scott, there’s at least half a dozen more complaints that have been filed this month complaining about your behavior.”

“And,” Van Den Berg looms over the card table, “what are we going to do about it?”

Spiros tosses the pile of complaints into a garbage can next to his table before standing up eye to eye with Van Den Berg (who he has both a couple of inches on and considerably less body fat).

“We, Scott, are going to learn to be more considerate of our co-workers. We have enough problems around here as it is, and the EWA doesn’t need anyone making matter worse. Do you understand, Scott? Think maybe you could… I dunno… try and not be a complete pain to everyone within a 10 kilometer radius of you?”

The two heavyweights stare quietly into each other’s eyes for a few long, tense seconds. With a shrug, Scott Van Den Berg breaks the silence.

“Eh.”

The door creaks one last time as Van Den Berg turns and leaves the office. As soon as the door is firmly shut, Spiros drops heavily into his chair, sweat starting to build along his forehead.

“My god, what is wrong with that guy? I think I need to go pray…”

Comradebot · July 30, 2009

Loved the show, CB. Read pretty regularly but realize I don't post often enough. So just want to say enjoying and keep up the good work.

And the videos of EWA-style is awesome.

Thanks BP, I appreciate it. Commenting and voting for the diaries I read is something I've been meaning to do more myself, but I'm very guilty of being one of the quiet reader types. I supposse it's karma, then, to know there's people who treat my diary the same way.

And I'm glad you like that "special" match I saw. I think my favorite part was where Nathan Jones went for a flying clothesline, but botched it in a truly spectacular manner.

Jman2k3 · July 30, 2009

Ah the good old WWA. I remember watching that match on tv when Scotty Steiner cheated to beat "The Front Row" Nate Jones.

If the company didn't go under there would be no TNA wrestling.

Remianen · July 30, 2009

I've been reading and I must say, I like it. Although I have a policy: If you were a hat and asses would wear you, you don't rise above midcarder.

Besides, what kinda operation are you running with only one cold bottle of water left? Isn't Aquafina or Poland Spring or summat on sale somewhere?

Comradebot · July 30, 2009

I've been reading and I must say, I like it. Although I have a policy: If you were a hat and asses would wear you, you don't rise above midcarder.

Besides, what kinda operation are you running with only one cold bottle of water left? Isn't Aquafina or Poland Spring or summat on sale somewhere?

Don't you know? EWA can't afford any more water. The same reason Spiros has a door that is dying in agony on its very hinges and he has to use a card table as a desk.

And, well... I'm trying to be nice to Van Den Berg. I like the guy, and I know Hyde Hill probably needed some "special alone time" when I finally decided to bring him in (, you know I love you Hyde)... so I'm trying to get a feel for what I can pull on him with backstage crap. Looking at his personality, though, I'll be shocked if he can not only stay onboard for the length of his contract, but then be happy enough to re-sign.

And thanks for the props, Rem. I'm starting to notice an influx of pro-EWAness. It feels good, and it has me motivated.

Which reminds me, the storylines I was tweaking are about finalized. I'm about to plug them into the game. After that, I can get started on writing up some new episodes of ALPHA!

And, Rem, if you have any creative criticism I'd like to hear it... I'm sure it'll have something to do with the fact I struggle to give my Women's Division proper air-time.

Comradebot · July 30, 2009

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/EWA15.png

Quick Picks:
Byron vs. Boris Kiriyakin
The Brothers Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude & White Knight
Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Hugh de Aske
Donna Marino vs. Miss Information
Louis Figo Manico vs. Beast Bantom
Spiros the Mighty vs. El Brisa?

Big Roguey · July 30, 2009

Byron vs. Boris Kiriyakin

Boris won't lose to a poncy Englishman. Will he???

The Brothers Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude & White Knight

I only picked due to Bam Bam's mental health just now.

Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Hugh de Aske

I have a thing for pirates

Donna Marino vs. Miss Information

Louis Figo Manico vs. Beast Bantom

LFM will win due to interferance (sp?) from El Brisa?

Spiros the Mighty vs. El Brisa?

El Brisa? will cheat.

praguepride · July 30, 2009

Byron vs. Boris Kiriyakin

I predict The Big Bad will shout something that somebody else has just said

The Brothers Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude & White Knight

I predict that both teams will suffer from unalpha-like infighting that will result in Bam Bam attacking his brother in a drunken stupor and Voodude putting a hex on White Knight

Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Hugh de Aske

I predict that Puffy will not go the full 9 holes, and instead crap out after only a couple of practice drives

Donna Marino vs. Miss Information

I predict that I will be miss taken with who Donna Marino really is

Louis Figo Manico vs. Beast Bantom

I predict spanish guitars and sorrowful melodys

Spiros the Mighty vs. El Brisa?

I predict a name change and the lose of a question mark for El Brisa?

Hyde Hill · July 31, 2009

Byron vs. Boris Kiriyakin Creative Control

The Brothers Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude & White Knight Hercules will pull through

Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Hugh de Aske Hugh is way too talented to win here

Donna Marino vs. Miss Information Ehm Miss is hotter I think?

Louis Figo Manico vs. Beast Bantom It's the fig!

Spiros the Mighty vs. El Brisa I knew it was Beauchamp all along somehow!

PS Where are the Dutchies? And that line really made me laugh.

Bigpapa42 · July 31, 2009

Byron vs. Boris Kiriyakin

The Brothers Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude & White Knight

Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Hugh de Aske

Donna Marino vs. Miss Information

Louis Figo Manico vs. Beast Bantom

Spiros the Mighty vs. El Brisa?

Jman2k3 · July 31, 2009

Byron vs. Boris Kiriyakin

The Brothers Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude & White Knight

Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Hugh de Aske

Donna Marino vs. Miss Information

Louis Figo Manico vs. Beast Bantom

Spiros the Mighty vs. El Brisa

Comradebot · August 6, 2009

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWAAlpha.jpg

EWA ALPHA!

February 2011 Week 1

From Bayern Stadion in front of 2000 fans and TAPED for Euro Cable Sports 1!

Dark Show:

Adam Matravers & Eddie Cornell vs. Thompson & Patterson

Adam Matravers and Eddie Cornell defeated Thompson & Patterson in 5:31 when Eddie Cornell defeated Joss Thompson by pinfall with a Black Lightning Bomb.

D+

Mystery Segment #1

D

Main Show:

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/Byron.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/BorisKiriyakin.jpg

Byron vs. Boris Kiriyakin

Boris is both significantly larger and stronger than Byron, but what does Byron care? After all, he IS beautiful! The smallest member of the Soviet Union (though still one of the largest men on the rosters) continued his run of bad luck, with Byron hitting the Upper Class for another victory.

Byron defeated Boris Kiriyakin in 7:31 by pinfall with an Upper Class.

C+

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/ElBrisa.jpg

To a darkly chant of “Ole, ole, ole oleeee”, El Brisa? emerges from behind the EWA tarp (for those of you wondering, it is a standard blue tarp with the EWA logo emblazoned upon it.) He quietly enters the ring, microphone in hand.

El Brisa?: Mi amigos, I ssspoke to the great ssserpent cheeken in the sky, and he, hehehe.. ssaid sssix ssslimy ssserpents ssslowly ssslithered… hehehe. Sssouth… hehehahahHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The low giggle quickly evolves into a diabolical laughter, bursting forth from the depths of the “Luchadore”.

El Brisa?: C’mon gents, show of hands; how many of you all really bought into this “El Brisa” crap? Now don’t be shy… one… two… everyone? Would that be accurate? “And Quetzalcoatl came before me, and said, ‘Senor El Brisa, dia los senoritas!’” That barely qualifies as a sentence! And the ignorant masses, oh how they ate. It. Up. But it was Manico *diabolical laughter*, EWA’s soddin’ bleedin’ heart hero extraordinaire, that I am most proud of. Tell me Manico, how does it feel to know that the man you’ve been searching for was here the entire time? How does it feel to have believed that man’s story that he was a “sssimple Luchador on EWA exchange program with Mexeecan wrestling company”. How does it FEEL TO-

A flare of Spanish guitar cuts off El Brisa? mid-sentence, much to the relief of the fans. Sporting a new patch over the eye El Brisa? wounded at Berlin Brawl, Louis Figo Manico appears at the entrance way.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/LouisFigoManico2.jpg

Louis Figo Manico: Normally I would not condone, let alone utilize, such rude behavior, but… would you PLEASE shut UP! A “man” like you does not get to come out here and run his mouth about how his cowardly tactics were all part of your master plan. A “man” like you does get to pretend acting like an insane Luchador stands out any more in this company than a man guzzling bull shark testosterone, talking to a robotic owl as a means to communicate with the gods of ancient Greece, or firmly believing that the Soviet Union stills exists and will rise again once they have achieved success in professional wrestling! A man like you who hides behind masks and shadows in order to use deceit as a tactic in this business-

El Brisa?: A man like ME?! BULLOCKS! A man like YOU, Manico! Do you REALLY believe you’re any better than I am? We both wear masks, Louis, but at least I have the common courtesy to let the world see mine. But your’ss, oooooh, how well you hide it, behind your “honour”, “integrity”, and “sportsmanship”. HehehahahaHAHA, and THEY *points at audience* believe that bloody load!?

Louis Figo Manico: If you’re so much better than… Louis… Figo… MANICO, then how come you do not prove it by finally showing your face? Or are you like the un-serpent half of your fictional god, si?

El Brisa?: Because THAT is the punch line, Louis. And we all know a good joke is so much more than just the punch line. And if you want the full joke, then you’re just gonna have to learn to be patient like everyone else. As they say, patience is a virtue, and virtue is something you know ALLLLLL about, eh, Louis?!

Louis Figo Manico: More than you could ever hope to. I pity someone whose goals are as so clearly tainted-

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!! Only a couple of seconds later, they immediately flash back to life, with no sign of El Brisa? anywhere in the arena.

Louis Figo Manico: …as… yours? And again you run. But you cannot run from destiny, my main man. Louis… Figo… MANICO will have his satisfaction!

A

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/BamBamJohansson2.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/HerculesJohansson.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/HaitiVoodude.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/WhiteKnight.jpg

The Brothers Johansson vs. Haiti Voodude & White Knight

A wild, EWA style power brawl awesome fest. Bet you didn’t know awesome was a style of wrestling? Well, now you do! Bam Bam looked sluggish as usual, with Voodude and White Knight taking turns beating him around the ring. Thankfully Hercules more than made up for it, simply overwhelming the other duo practically two on one. After isolating White Knight, The Brothers Johansson hit their tag finisher, The Alpha and Omega, allowing Hercules to get the pin.

The Brothers Johansson defeated Haiti Voodude and White Knight in 6:28 when Hercules Johansson defeated White Knight by pinfall with an Alpha And Omega.

D+

A commercial for the new “Brothers Johansson action figures, now with whale punching power (Whale sold separately)” comes to an end, revealing the real life Brothers Johansson ambling through the hallways backstage.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/BamBamJohansson2.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/HerculesJohansson.jpg

Hercules Johansson: I am sorry brother, but this TOTALLY must be done. It is, like, the only way…

Hercules swings open a door, leading both brothers into a dark, foggy room.

Hercules Johansson: Hello? I have come seeking the Master Of The Trials.

Bam Bam Johansson: BRO, it smells like… lame in here, YEAH!

Voice: AND OF WHAT CONCERN IS THE MASTER OF THE TRIALS TO YOU?!

Hercules Johansson: It is my brother. Gone is his command over the powers of the Alpha, YEAH. We have come before you to ask favor in allowing him to face the Trials, so that he may once again be the Alpha, brother, YEAH!

Voice: … Very well…

A figure appears amongst the fog, approaching the Johanssons…

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/SpirostheMighty.jpg

Spiros The Mighty: HARK and give heed, mighty half-mortal son of Zeus! Were you not the child of the king of the gods, I would command he strike you down for bringing this whelp before me, Spiros THE MIGHTY! However, as a servant of the gods it is my pleasure to aid a great hero of Greece such as yourself! Now tell me, why do you care so for this lowly mortal?

Hercules Johansson: He’s, like, totally my brother, brother.

Spiros The Mighty: WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE?!

Hercules Johansson: We have same last name, yeah.

Bam Bam Johansson: And we TOTALLY look similar, bro! We share the same GENETIC DIFFERENCE!

Spiros The Mighty: I remain skeptical! However, as promised, I shall aid in a request by the ONE son of Zeus. Tell me, Bam Bam, does your heart seek a need for copious amounts of adrenaline? Does your mind yearn to know of experiences that would kill a lesser man? Are you prepared for a life filled with flexing, explosions, and really, really, really, ridiculously large muscles because you are as jacked as the Greek heroes of old?!

Bam Bam Johansson: YEAH, bro, YEAH!!!

Spiros The Mighty: I see… then, perhaps, YOU BAM BAM, are ready to face… The Trials Of The Alpha! BE FOREWARNED! Shall you fail The Trials, it will likely because you will perish… or quit, on account of them being really, really hard. Only one man has ever passed them, and even he failed to do so before they even began! Are you ready, Bam Bam Johansson?

Bam Bam Johansson: Bring it ON, I’m getting JACKED just thinking about this, YEAH!!!

Spiros The Mighty: Very well! I shall make haste for Mt. Olympus. There, I shall consult the GODS THEMSELVES about the Trials! The trek shall be long and dangerous. Indeed, you shouldn’t expect to hear from me until… three days to a week from now! Spiros The Mighty AWAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!

With a “woosh” sound, Spiros “flies” through the door, leaving the Brothers Johansson anticipating his return…

Which is right now.

Spiros The Mighty: HARK, and give heed! I have a match tonight… so… I SHALL SEE THE GODS AFTERWARDS!!! SPIROS, NOT AWAAAAAAAAY YET!!!

B-

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/Puffy.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/HughdeAske.jpg

Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs. Hugh de Aske

Holy “match that was put on TV because I seemed like a good, pointless idea” Batman! And hey, how many times have I done the Batman thing now anyways? Anyways, the match was a rather solid brawl with Puffy finally dropping Hugh with the Under Par for the win.

Puffy The Sand Iron Player defeated Hugh de Aske in 5:44 by pinfall with an Under Par.

C-

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/RuudVanAnger.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/FrankDePain.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/ScottVanDenBerg.jpg

That evil, menacing Dutch music leaves a black mark on the soul of all within ear reach as the Wild Hagues dance wildly in their locker room with both members of Double Dutch cradling the EWA Tag Team titles. Scott Van Den Berg, however, has to settle for his giant plastic sturgeon as a dance partner (with every move he makes sending blubber jiggling in various nauseating manners).

Frank De Pain: YAH, we are the new EWA Tag Team champions Ruud!

Ruud Van Anger: YAH, we are, YAH! It was… RUUD… of The Force to not just give us the titles when we first asked!

Frank De Pain: YAH! They had to suffer a lot of… PAIN… instead!

Ruud Van Anger: YAH!

Frank De Pain: YAH!

Ruud Van Anger: And Frank?

Frank De Pain: YAH!?

Ruud Van Anger: I have a surprise for our celebration! Van Den Berg, bring out the surprise!!!

Reluctantly putting down the plastic sturgeon, Scott Van Den Berg makes his way over to RVA’s bag. He reaches inside… and pulls out a box of kittens!!!

http://www.daveyp.com/blog/stuff/kittens.jpg

Ruud Van Anger: Behold, Frank, a box of kittens!!!

Frank De Pain: Can I give them the finger now, YAH?!

Ruud Van Anger: But of course! Let us all flip off this box full of kittens!!!

As they promised, the Wild Hagues proceed to give the kittens in the box a massive dosage of the finger.

Ruud Van Anger: Silly little kittens! We can give you the finger and you can do nothing about it! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YAH!!!!

Frank De Pain: NYAHA!

Ruud Van Anger: And now we shall take box of kitten to orphanage, and not allow orphans to pet kittens as we flip off first the kittens, and then the orphans.

Frank De Pain: Delightful!

Ruud Van Anger: YAH! Come along Scott, you can help us laugh at the orphans while they cannot pet the fluffy little kittens!

Van Den Berg grabs the 80s style boombox blaring out the evil music as Wild Hagues makes their way out of the room, the box of kittens in hand.

D+

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/DonnaMarino.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/MissInformation.jpg

Donna Marino vs. Miss Information

Hey, a women’s match on TV! Too bad both of them didn’t really try all that hard tonight. Someday the EWA will have an awesome women’s division… someday. Oh, Miss Information smacked Donna with the Lore for the win. Sadly, about 80% of the audience missed it as they went to get bratwurst dogs.

Miss Information defeated Donna Marino in 6:12 by pinfall with a Lore.

D-

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/LouisFigoManico.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/BeastBantom.jpg

Louis Figo Manico vs. Beast Bantom

They did, however, return in time to enjoy eating their bratwurst dogs while watching this match! The classic “Manico vs. a powerhouse” match, with Manico using his superb technical prowess to try and subdue a larger, stronger, opponent. And, as usual, Manico’s strategy eventually won out with him dropping Beast Bantom with the Madrid Maul, ending what will probably be Bantom’s best match of the year.

Louis Figo Manico defeated Beast Bantom in 7:52 by pinfall with a Madrid Maul.

B-

The audience is taken by surprise at the sound of… Western music playing through the PA system? Who could it be…

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/MarkStanford.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/PhoebePlumridge.jpg

Mark Stanford: What the hell’s going on? Did someone in the production crew accidentally hook 3:10 To Yuma to the PA System again?

Phoebe Plumridge: Oh… my… GOD isn’t Russell Crowe the dreamiest or what?!

Mark Stanford: I choose "or what" sweet cheeks and… and… hey, isn’t that?

A small Jewish man, dressed up like a cowboy, emerges from behind the EWA tarp flanked by a pair of hosses!!!

Mark Stanford: IT IS!!! It’s Stetson Hatt; Stetson Hatt is back in EWA!!! It though Bam Bam Johansson killed him for trying to take away his Bull Shark Testosterone back in late 08!

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/StetsonHatt.jpg

Stetson Hatt, with his two monstrous flunkies, enters the ring.

Stetson Hatt: Oi, it’s been such a long, long time, partners. The last time I was in the EWA, a large Norwegian was pummeling me very hard. He gave me a detached retina in left eye, and I had to drink through a straw for three months while my jaw was wired shut from its multiple fractures. Those were very bad times… But now… now “The Boss of The Hoss” is back, and I’ve brought myself a new Hatt Gang with me I have! The two most wanted outlaws in all the west…

“Bad News” Bruno and “Blackjack” Daniel Jones!

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/BadNewsBruno.jpghttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/DanielJones.jpg

Stetson Hatt: And this new Hatt Gang is the toughest, rowdiest, most rootin’-tootin’est, and most kosher group of people to ever set foot in the EWA! Right gang?

The Hatt Gang nod in agreement with Stetson, acknowledging their apparent kosher status, and looking far more badass than he does in the process.

Stetson Hatt: And being the manly tough men we are, we figured “Hey, we could make money doing this!” We tried robbing banks and rustling cattle, but that requires spending a great deal of time outdoors which is terrible for my allergies, just terrible. So if there’s anyone here in the EWA, anyone, let it be known the Hatt Gang is officially for hire! We offer a variety of financially sound services including…

A LOUD SCREECH RIPS THROUGH THE ARENA, DROPPING THE HATT GANG TO THEIR KNEES!!!

Stetson Hatt: Oh, OH… I can feel it in my bladda, this is just terrible!!!

Daniel Jones: Look boss, there’s a message on the big movin’ picture screen!

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/run.png

The Hatt Gang can’t help but appear confused, and mildly terrified, at the message displayed on the EWA Euro-tron.

Stetson Hatt: Take the advice! Run, you varmints, run!!!

The Hatt Gang, a group of tough outlaws looking to sell their toughness as a service… run from a loud screeching noise and mostly harmless, if ominous, message on a screen. Outstanding.

C+

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/SpirostheMighty.jpgVShttp://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/ElBrisa.jpg

Spiros the Mighty vs. El Brisa?

Clearly, Spiros was distracted by thinking about those darn Johansson brothers and Bam Bam’s upcoming trial. It required planting his feet on the ropes for leverage, but the smaller El Brisa? managed to once again get a big “W” over Spiros.

El Brisa defeated Spiros the Mighty in 12:04 by pinfall, illegally using the ropes for leverage.

B+

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/ElBrisa.jpg

As Spiros sprints towards Mt. Olympus, El Brisa? mocks the crowd for both his recent actions with Manico AND the manner of his victory over Spiros. This doesn’t last long, as a blast of Spanish guitar signals the arrival of…

Louis…

Figo…

MANIIIIIIIICCCOOOOOOOOO!!!!

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/LouisFigoManico2.jpg

With a microphone in one hand and the other pointing at El Brisa?, Manico rolls into the ring, immediately going face to face with him.

Louis Figo Manico: So, my main man, I’ve been thinking. Perhaps you simply do not know the proper way to attack a man with honor, and this has created the illusion that you are a dishonorable, lowly coward, si? Well, allow Louis… Figo… MANICO to explain it to you in words that you might understand.

El Brisa? starts to laugh…

Louis Figo Manico: No, no, no, “mi amigo”, this is not a joke. Step one, you tell the man, face to face so that he knows who he is talking to, that you have a grievance with him. For example… “El Brisa, as a man I cannot just sit back and allow your treacherous deeds against me to go unpunished.”

El Brisa?: Is this your new plan, Manico? Gonna "attack" me with the outline to your new “How To” book?

Louis Figo Manico: My plan is to ignore you while I move on to step two. Step two is this: you say something along the lines of “The masked man who attacked me, I demand an opportunity to acquire satisfaction by means of physical violence as a means of revenge.”

Intensely, Manico and the wrestler formerly known as El Brisa stare into each other’s eyes.

El Brisa?: Is there a step three, or is this more of a “step ladder” program?

Louis Figo Manico: I’m glad you asked about step three, my main man. Step three… is THIS!!!

With a hard right hand, Manico plants El Brisa? on his backside! The “Luchador” springs back to his feet, only to meet a volley of similar punches from Manico which send El Brisa? stumbling around the ring. Again El Brisa? hits the ground, but this time he dives out of the ring and out of Manico’s reach. With a harsh exchange of words, the wounded El Brisa? retreats from the arena while Manico stands triumphant in the ring.

B+

Overall Rating: B

Remianen · August 6, 2009

And, Rem, if you have any creative criticism I'd like to hear it... I'm sure it'll have something to do with the fact I struggle to give my Women's Division proper air-time.

Check PMs

Comradebot · August 26, 2009

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/JodoKastTRL/EWA/EWA16.png

Quick Picks:
Marat Khoklov vs. Danny Patterson
Geena the Warrior Princess vs. Jeri Behr
Soviet Union vs. Devastation United
Eddie Cornell vs. Byron
Spiros The Mighty vs. Sergei Kalashnov

FINisher · August 26, 2009

Marat Khoklov vs. Danny Patterson

Geena the Warrior Princess vs. Jeri Behr

Soviet Union vs. Devastation United

Eddie Cornell vs. Byron

Spiros The Mighty vs. Sergei Kalashnov

BHK1978 · August 26, 2009

The Frank De Pain/Ruud Van Anger promo was great! It had me laughing so hard, I don't what it was but about the promo but it was great. The thought of them chucking the bird to a box of kittens was great.

But these two lines right here was what really made me laugh:

Ruud Van Anger: Silly little kittens! We can give you the finger and you can do nothing about it! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YAH!!!!

and

Ruud Van Anger: And now we shall take box of kitten to orphanage, and not allow orphans to pet kittens as we flip off first the kittens, and then the orphans.

That was just great stuff!

Comradebot · August 26, 2009

The Frank De Pain/Ruud Van Anger promo was great! It had me laughing so hard, I don't what it was but about the promo but it was great. The thought of them chucking the bird to a box of kittens was great.

But these two lines right here was what really made me laugh:

and

That was just great stuff!

Thanks, LD. I've noticed the Double Dutch promos have been... lacking... and thought a new style was in order for them. In fact, it may just be enough to keep them OUT of permanent lower midcard limbo in my mind (though they're technically midcarders).

And again, sorry folks for yet again going a couple weeks without any updates. I just get into these odds funks and can't pull myself to write, despite geniunely wanting to. Today (Wednesday) I'll be spending with my super awesome gf, so hopefully on Thursday I can get to business and get the next show up, or at least something I have planned I probably should get started before the next show...

Hyde Hill · August 26, 2009

Marat Khoklov vs. Danny Patterson

Geena the Warrior Princess vs. Jeri Behr

Soviet Union vs. Devastation United

Eddie Cornell vs. Byron

Spiros The Mighty vs. Sergei Kalashnov

Hyde Hill · August 26, 2009

No worries about the time mate yours has always been a more "quality" over speed diary so no problem. No offence meant either.

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