PGHW: An Infamous Night Of Glory

The Real Jack Avatar · February 4, 2010

HI GDS. I'm Jack Avatar.

You may remember me from one of the many dynasties on this forum that have chronicled my career ever since I retired from pro-wrestling. Talented bunch of guys around. You may be wondering: Did they have permission to ghost-write my life happenings? No, but they do a damn good job and I'm not about to put a stop to it. Sure, sometimes the facts and dates aren't quite right (heck, if they were, I'd be booking every single promotion in the world at the same time!), and sometimes they only tell a few months of my story before moving on to other things. But they also make my booking decisions look a lot smarter than they sometimes are, and never mention the more humbling times where I've had to beg a stubborn owner just to get my foot in the door. So I can't complain.

So you know who I am. And now I'll tell you why I'm here...

IF YOU QUOTE THIS YOU WILL SEE THAT I AM LYING TO YOU THROUGH MY TEETH, SUCKERS. JACK AVATAR IS A PRETTY BOY GIMP

The Real Jack Avatar · February 5, 2010

Hey guys, my posts have been approved, so I can continue on with story. It's all pretty fresh in my head (happened last week) so I shouldn't leave too many important details out... hopefully!

Anyway, this is what happened:

I was sitting at the Suntory Lounge right in the heart of Kyoto. Some Jazz music was playing in the background, the lights had to cut through the cigar smoke (one of the few places in Kyoto that still allowed for smoking indoors), and there I was, nursing a drink.

A booking gig had falling through a couple days earlier. The whole thing was supposed to be a lock, but for some reason they changed their minds right at the last minute. All after I had paid for my tickets and touched down in Japan. I wasn't bitter. I knew the guy they ended up hiring in the end, and I hoped he does a killer job on it (which is also why I'm not going to say which promotion it was). Good for him, I thought. Good for him.

But good will didn't change my current situation, and I you could say that I was a little bummed. As I motioned for a refill, I glanced over and saw a similar looking face to mine. I didn't recognize him at first, but after I downed my highball it suddenly clicked into place

http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/9260/sadaharujimbo.jpg

Sadaharu Jimbo. Founder and owner of PGHW!

He didn’t look like a guy who wanted to be bothered, and I wondered what he would think of a sauced gaijin coming up to him in a bar. Would he think I was some kind of mark?

I tried restraint, but I kept wondering just why would a man like Sadaharu be in a place like this, looking like a guy like me? Word on the street was that PGHW had seen better times, but I didn’t think it was that bad. They say curiosity killed the cat, but I wasn’t no cat and last I checked I was still alive, so I gave it a shot.

Me:
“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you looked pretty down. Is everything alright?”

Sadaharu looked up, and for a second it seemed as though he wasn’t sure whether he should buy me a drink or throw one in my face. He eventually turned back to his glass and said and said: “You know who I am?”

Me:
“I won’t lie. I know of you. But I’m not looking for a news story or a shot at breaking into the big time. I’m just a guy down on his luck, and thought we might be able to trade sob stories over a glass of whiskey, before heading home and waking up to the same old problems tomorrow. That’s why I asked.”

He pondered this for a while, and then turned back to me.

Sadaharu Jimbo:
“I don’t drink whiskey, but when the bartender brings me another Scotch I’ll tell you exactly why I’m drinking.”

He finished his drink and it was immediately replaced with a fresh glass of burning liquid. Jimbo then proceeded to tell me about how he was lost one of their greatest stars and their head booker all at the same time. It didn’t take a genius to figure that they were one and the same guy.

http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/3285/nobuatsutatsuko.jpg

Me:
“Nobuatsu Tatsuko?”

SJ:
“Hah. Yeah, you got the one. Urgent family affairs he had to attend to. Honestly, I thought he would be around forever. No matter how many injuries he had, he was always there. But now...”

He made a *poof* motioning with his hands.

SJ:
“I don’t blame him. Family always comes first.”

Me:
“That’s pretty unfortunate. But if you don’t mind me asking, surely it’s not the first time you’ve lost a top star and close friend in this industry?”

SJ:
“That’s true. But he was also our booker, remember.”

Me:
“There’s other bookers out there. You’ll have the spot filled within a month.”

SJ:
“We don’t have a month."

I stopped and raised an eyebrow. PGHW didn’t start touring for several months.

SJ:
“We have a commemorative special running just next week. A one night event to give back to the fans. It was decided at pretty short notice, but we managed to acquire some pretty astounding backing and press coverage for it. But with Tatsuko-san gone... well, we’d either have to pull the event or get whatever rookie booker we could get our hands on to book it, which is too risky for our prestige.”

Me:
“Why don’t you just pull the event? There’ll always be other opportunities.”

SJ:
“If it was just the business end of things, that would be no problem. But the whole locker room has really looking forward to it – it’s the best spirits they’ve been in for a long time. It’s not right to crush their hopes. Like I said, family always comes first.”

We sat there for a few minutes bordering on eternity, until I slowly made a bold move.

Me:
“You say you’re worried about hiring a rookie...”

SJ:
“All the bookers with this kind of experience that I know of are locked into contracts or in another country. I’ve called around.”

Me:
“You didn’t call one person.”

SJ:
“Who?”

Me:
“Me.”

A smile crept over his face as he broke into a laugh which took ten years off his age. It was good to see, but it faded after he saw that I was being serious.

http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/5898/jackavatar.jpg

Me:
“Namae wa Avatar Jack desu. Hajimemashiita.”

I hoped to heck my Japanese was correct and that it sounded sincere as I gave him a slight bow in our barstools. I then proceeded to give him a complete run-down of my resume, even including the one time I booked BSC under a pseudonym. By the end of it, he looked shell shocked.

Me:
“Look, I’ll admit that I don’t know a lot about PGHW, but I know wrestling and I take it damn well serious. I’ve proven to you that I have the experience, and I’m not some fly-by-night rookie that’s going to come in and book the whole thing by the seat of my pants. I also know that you need someone who’s able to put your wrestlers ahead of their own career. Someone like me.”

SJ:
“Are you serious about taking wrestling serious?”

Me:
“Seriously.”

Perhaps it was the alcohol, but we both pulled off those lines without even a smile at how bad they were. He then extended his hand towards me.

SJ:
“Are those Las Vegas girls really as wild as I’ve heard?”

Me:
“In the west we have a saying, and that is: A gentleman never kisses and tells.”

I shook his hand.

Me:
“But maybe I could make an exception just this once.”

And that's how I came to meet Sadaharu Jimbo for the first time. It took some time for the contracts to be ironed out and my hangover to go, but we got there in the end.

A couple nights after this meeting I went to address the PGHW locker room. I'll tell you what happened when a good ol American boy got face to face with a tight-knit group of some of the stiffest workers seen in the industry as soon as possible. I wish I could do it now, but I've got to make sure everyone all the pieces are falling into place for the big event!

J. Avatar

The Real Jack Avatar · February 5, 2010

<p>Hey GDS</p><p> </p><p> It's your main man Jack Avatar back! I promised that I'd give you the next installment, and here it is. Me coming face to face with PGHW's locker-room. Intense bunch of guys for sure!</p><p> </p><p> Let's get right into it:</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="26489" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/4099/pghw.jpg</span></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> There was some red tape to get through, but the deal was set in stone. I was getting to book a promotion that was arguably the pinnacle of serious puroresu at one point, and Jimbo was getting a booker that (hopefully) wouldn’t mess up all his hard work after all these years.</p><p> </p><p> I was feeling pretty good about the deal, but still it didn’t stop my gut from doing somersaults. Why? Because I was standing in front of the whole roster of PGHW. And they were looking at me like I was crazy.</p><p> </p><p> Now a little back-story about me: I’ve never been good at speaking in real life situations. Sure, I could cut a promo with some of the best back in my heyday, but that was work. There were certain points I had to hit, and there was a certain history that I could draw from, knowing what would get an easy pop. When it came to speaking in front of people with real problems and real needs, there was no kind of guidelines telling me where to go or what catchphrases I can fall back on. This was even worse when I had to convince group of people whose careers were at stake that I wasn’t going to jeopardize their livelihood. Like I had to do right now.</p><p> </p><p> To make matters worse, I was doing it all through a small Japanese woman standing to the right of me, who was supposed to be translating everything I said. I couldn’t imagine the process going well, but... well it was better than nothing.</p><p> </p><p> Figuring I had nothing to lose, I dove right into it. I wasn’t even that sure what I was going to say until I heard the words coming out of my mouth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/5898/jackavatar.jpg</span></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="26489" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><strong><span style="color:#FFFFFF;">ME:</span></strong> “Introductions aren’t really my thing, so I’m Jack Avatar. And for the immediate future I’m honoured to be your booker. Now, I know of many of you... but on the flipside I think many, if not all of you, have got no idea who in the heck I am, and why you should trust my judgement on one of PGHW’s biggest nights.<p> </p><p> “As far as I know, you may not even understand everything I’m saying right now. But I urge you to hear the passion in my voice, because this is no joke! Even if you only understand the first bit of every sentence from here on, the importance placed within each of those words will give birth to one of the most memorable nights of wrestling that the world has ever seen!</p><p> </p><p> “You know what my reaction was when I saw Japanese wrestling for the first time in my life? Dumb struck, I was – it was some of the most amazing athleticism that I had ever seen, and even at my young age I knew that I was watching gods among men. </p><p> </p><p> Marks my word that I am not about to bring puroreso down from the top of the mountain and dishonour the blood, sweat, and strikes that you have put on for every night of your careers. I’m going to do my damn best to immortalize you as the best there is – regardless of what anyone else says has become of this great promotion! John Schibblwitz from ProWrestlingNews.com said in an editorial that the last tour you guys did was “pretty awesome”, and everyone was happy with that standard. F**king hell—pardon my American—but years ago that review would have been an insult! Awesome is not something I will settle on; because this upcoming commemorative event is going to be INDUSTRY CHANGING.... and I want you guys to be a part of it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p> It was some pretty out there stuff I was saying. I didn’t even know which of it was exaggeration and which was true, but I could sense that the locker room had a new kind of electricity within it. They probably still thought I was a crazy gaijin, but at least they were in a more acceptable mind to go along with my plans.</p><p> </p><p> And boy did I have some plans in store for them.</p><p> </p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> That was a few days ago. The big show is happening tonight, and there is a heck of a lot of stuff to get ready for it, least of all I've got to complete some last minute major signings (if you can guess any of them I'll buy a hat just so I can eat it).</p><p> </p><p> I'll get back to you with a major review of what went down once all the results are in!</p>

The Real Jack Avatar · February 5, 2010

<p>One thing I just wanted to ask of you guys, is if you had any advice for writing up the event report. If this event goes well, Jimbo-san says that the job could turn into a regular thing, but that's only if things go well (fingers crossed!)</p><p> </p><p>

Because I may only get one chance at booking PGHW, and this event could be the only one in here, I want to make sure that it feels epic enough. So I want to be able to write the matches as great as possible. Is there any stuff in particular that you like to see in your event writeups? I want to make sure I do justice for all the fans of PGHW after all</p>

Antithesis · February 5, 2010

<p>I give you props for the 'Real Jack Avatar' gimmick and back story.</p><p> </p><p>

Generally, from what I've seen, Japanese feds with a strong focus on in ring action, the write ups tend to be detailed about how the match was wrestled.</p><p> </p><p>

Not overly detailed mind you. No one wants to read about every single hip toss or body slam. But if you delve into the high points of the matches themselves that will probably get readers to respond.</p>

Infernalmiko · February 6, 2010

My responses on this ranged from bitchy to sarcastic. I had alot of fun writing the sarcastic one, but it would not have been very helpful. ^_^

The Jack Avatar gimmick is interesting but could become old fast. So far you've four posts and to one degree or another they have all been about Jack Avatar. Which is good for an egotist, but the title suggests a PGHW diary. I'm not at the point of hoping Jack DIAF, but it could get there.

A PGHW diary should focus on the in ring action, both for matches and story lines. Which doesn't mean move by move for every match, but plenty of detail, mood and emotion would all work. Best of luck!

The Real Jack Avatar · February 6, 2010

Thanks a lot for both the responses guys. The advice you've given to me on how to write the match ups and storylines is a big help (it's one thing to book them, but a whole other thing to get it out here on the interwebs in a way that is compelling for fans of PGHW!)

And trust me Infernalmiko, I am far from an egotist (I thank the stars every day for the job I've been blessed with)! I can see how how you might get the impression, though. After reading back over my own posts I do go on about myself a bit lol

But I give you my word that from here on out, unless there's some earth shattering backstage stuff happening, it's all going to be about the guys in front of the spotlight, and not the foreigner in the back.

One thing I don't get is how being myself is a gimmick. Oh well, I'll get over it =)

The show is starting in just a few hours so I probably won't be able to check back in, but before I go, here's something I'll leave with you.

http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/5918/pghwaninfamousnightofgl.png

It's all up around the Kinki region, but thought you guys might be interested to see it anyway. Catchya soon!

J. Avatar

The Real Jack Avatar · February 6, 2010

Hey guys, the event wrapped up a little while ago, and let me tell you, it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Amazing! Some of the boys decided to take me out for some karaoke which has been pretty wild (picture Koiso singing YMCA), but I'll think I'll call it a night after one or two more songs (I'm not too good at holding my sake).

After that I'll head on back and give you a more indepth post. Till then, look forward to it!

The Real Jack Avatar · February 6, 2010

Like promised, here's a a more indepth break down of what happened. Enjoy my GDS best buddies!

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">INT. ARENA – CENTER-RING

It’s pitch-black. All that can be heard is the low murmuring of a crowd who are beginning to get restless as the show enters its second hour of delay.

Slowly the lights come on and Jack Avatar stumbles into the ring to the sound of Europe’s The Final Countdown. He’s holding a microphone in one hand and an open <acronym title="that's softcore j-pron to you and me">gravure idol</acronym> magazine in the other. The pages look greasy and well thumbed through.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-JackAvatar.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Right about now you’re probably wondering who is this guy, and just how much longer until the wrasslin’ starts. Well, I’ll answer your first question soon. But to answer your second question, kimosabe, the show will begin in about.... oh, THREE MINUTES.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">

The all American booker drops the microphone on the floor (making the weighty decision to hold onto the porn rag) and begins clawing at his face. The audience is stunned and seems unsure of exactly what is going on. Bits of skin come off in Jack Avatar’s hands, and it soon became apparent that it was not skin, but rubber latex. As more and more of the latex mask came off, the image of Jack Avatar began to fade and a grisly visage of raw, visceral homelessness appeared. As the final piece of latex fell to the floor, most of the audience remained confused as to what they were seeing.

The dirty bum who was posing as Jack Avatar picked the microphone back up and cleared his throat.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-Unknown.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">
“If you came to see some wrasslin’, you’re in the wrong place. But, if you came to get your ass blown out of its socket and into your best friend’s wedding, you just snapped the right gig, jack.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">While Japan sat confused, thousands of miles away in the Piper’s Pit Casino, a <acronym title="B-S-C! B-S-C! B-S-C!">certain blonde female</acronym> got an ominous chill down her spine...</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-Unknown.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff">
<td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Gold Digging Tramps and Overworked Salarymen, I present to you...”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

The Real Jack Avatar · February 6, 2010

*We interrupt your previously scheduled forumcast, to bring you this special diary introspective*

Random Stoner 1: "Hey dude, remember back when Jack Avatar addressed the locker room of that Japanese wrestling fed back in like episode five?"

Random Stoner 2: "Yeah dude, that was hella sick! Didn't it go something like this?"

. . . . . . .

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/FlashbackHeader.png

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback1.jpg

Stoner 1: "Yeah I remember that, but why you gotta bring it up again? It was only like a day ago, dude."

Stoner 2: "Dude, that speech was nasty! Ish was layered like a cake!"

Stoner 1: "What do you mean?"

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback2.jpg

Stoner 2: "That's some subliminal ish right there!"

Stoner 1: "Naw, you just reading too much into it dude, don't be a grogan"

Stoner 2: "You gotta believe me man. Let me just put on Dark Side of The Moon and it'll all become clear to you..."

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback3.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback4.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback5.jpg

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback6.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback7.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback8.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Flashback9.jpg

Stoner 2: "Believe me now dude?"

Stoner 1: "Whoah. Like a <acronym title="Coz y'know, they're like layered and stuff">cake</acronym>."

The Real Jack Avatar · February 6, 2010

*We now return you to your previously scheduled forumcast...*

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
INT. ARENA – CENTER-RING</td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-Unknown.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Gold Digging Tramps and Overworked Salarymen, I present to you...”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/PGHW-JA.png

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I am John Awesome, and everyone in this arena just bought a one way ticket to ass blown outs’ville.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

Yeah, so I'm not Jack Avatar, go cry to your mother. Avatar's a mope and doesn't even know the first thing about finding a free meal ticket. Hell, you know what he was doing while I was out trying to score free hooch and women with his name and likeliness? Well I don't know either, but it was probably something pretty f**king not awesome.

Anyway, just to prove to you GDS rubes that I'm not an egoist, here's a list of the night's golden matchups that have nothing to do with me.

Jobbles vs Aristocat
MKAT-ULTRA vs Mouseface Killah
Scott Hairball & Cat Burgler vs :3 & Dandruff McMuffin
INSANEO vs Serious Cat

Look, chumps, I can't be here all night — I've got some serious throwing up in assorted trashcans to do, so just pick some winners or the lint out of your nether-crack until I wake up and can post up the results of the only good event PWHG will ever put on.

The Real Jack Avatar · February 7, 2010

Alright. I'm awake and now only half drunk. And when Jack Awesome is able to clearly see shapes in front of him no more than two feet away, that means that Jack Awesome is ready to rock and roll like teen gymnasts on diuretics.

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
INT. ARENA
Continuing on from before...

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Headers/Header-CrapMatch.png

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/Jobbles.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Versus.pnghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/Aristocat.jpg

Jobbles vs Aristocat
</td></tr></table><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
Jobbles is released into the ring, and looks skittish. Aristocat is released next, and he immediately begins washing his junk in the middle of the ring, albeit in a highly respectable manner.

The bell rings and both cats lock up and fight in a way that feels just barely permissible for curtain jerkers. At one stage it appears as though Jobbles is going to break his losing streak, as he gets Aristocat onto his back. Unfortunately Jobbles trips over himself and falls into Aristocat’s top-hat, and is unable to get his head unstuck from it.

Aristocat gets the win as Jobbles taps out to the top-hat.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td>
<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">Announcer Tsunayoshi Yamamoto:
“. . .”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">John Awesome:

“Speechless huh? John Awesome delivers to your mug what nobody ever expects, whether it be on the canvas in the ring or naked on a skateboard on top of your wife's muffintop. Now give us the low-down, Yamaha — what’d you think of the night’s first match?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff">
<td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td>
</td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“My family name is Yamamoto. Sorry, but it’s not Yamaha.”
<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Yeah, yeah. Sure thing Yama-chan. Now what about Jobbles vs Aristocat? Worthy of PWGH’s legacy or does a Pope not crap in the Vatican?”
<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“It was... very interesting.”
<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Sh*t, you really do have a reserved culture if that’s the best you can come up with. Me, I been in the business for months and that was MOTY material – we may as well shut down the promotion now, coz I can’t see this being topped.”
<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr>
<td width="450" align="justify">
CUT TO
INT. BACKSTAGE
Akinori Kawakami stares into the camera intensely.
</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-AkinoriKawakami.png" border="0"></td>
<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Do you believe in destiny?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">He takes a minute to gather his thoughts, looking to the floor. When he returns his gaze to us, there is a burning passion behind his eyes.</td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-AkinoriKawakami.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“There are rumours throughout this company. Rumours that the staff fridge has been stocked up with cheese and assorted deli meat. But only for tonight. Is this a cunning gaijin plan by John Awesome? Or is it destiny? Destiny that I will make a sandwich?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-AkinoriKawakami.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Do you believe in destiny?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">He walks away from the camera, silently, without waiting for an answer.</td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

All this html formatting is making me sober. John Awesome needs a drink.

To be continued...

Jaded · February 7, 2010

OH... MY... GOD!!!!!

Greatest markout moment in YEARS. Srsly.

Is it worrying that as soon as I read the bit about taking his skin off, I was practically leaping up screaming "That's gonna be awesome - JOHN AWESOME!"

The Real Jack Avatar · February 7, 2010

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
CUT TO

INT. RINGSIDE
We go back to the announce table where Announcer Yamamoto is trying to make the best of this unfortunate series of foul-odored events.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Awesome-san, How do you respond to these backstage rumours? Are you offended by Kawakami’s boldness?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Listen Yamaman, I’m two sheets to the wind right now, and don’t even know what the hell that promo was about. Sure, maybe I booked it, but that was several hours ago and who knows what was going through my mind.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Ever a professional, Yamamoto ignores this break in kayfabe, and tries to bring some form of dignity back to the announce table.</td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Ah, what you are trying to say is that because you have already forgotten the impromptu interview he just made, because your mind is so busy thinking about tonight’s main event?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Yamahonda.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Headers/Header-Match.png

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/MKAT-ULTRA.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Versus.pnghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/MouseKiller.jpg

MKAT-ULTRA
vs
Mouseface Killah

Hoping to build on the non-existent momentum of the previous match, Mouseface Killah comes bounding to the ring under the false-pretence of kittah crunchies. Mouseface is clearly furious at this cheap ruse, and begins hissing at Adachi-san. Just as it looks like we are about to see some cat on ref violence, MKAT-ULTRA appears at the top of the entrance ramp!

The veteran MKAT is the only survivor of a secretive military operation to create a race of cats with mind-controlling capabilities, so it was with a dark history of experience that he calmly walked to the ring, fearless of Mouseface’s aggressive behaviour.

This disregard for his bad-assery did not sit well with the Mousefaced Killah, who promptly leapt from the ring and took the fight to ULTRA, assailing him with a series of well-placed ear-bites.

Referee Adachi rang the bell, promptly beginning a ten-count as any serious referee should do; however, the two kitties were too caught up in the heat of battle to pay attention to his attempts at keeping the match on the rails (quite literally, as Killah chased MKAT along the guard rails at one stage, until the veteran cat spun around in mid-air, taking himself and Mouseface into the crowd, where they brawled between the spectators). At the count of nine, both furry competitors sprinted into the ring, keeping it from going to a double DQ.

They both fought for several minutes, with Mouseface having the upper hand, until MKAT jumped on top of Adachi-san’s head and took control of him. Killah, faced with a brainwashed Yugoro Adachi was uncertain of what to do. But as he’d known for a long time, being a thug meant never backing down, so he foolishly attacked the five foot human.

MKAT made Adachi dodge the incoming attack, and grab Mouseface’s tail as he went sailing past. The feline controlled referee then swung Mouseface by the tail straight into the turnbuckle. ULTRA leaped off of Adachi-san and covered his limp opponent.

Referee Adachi came to his senses just in time to hand out a 1 – 2 – 3 to the winner, MKAT-ULTRA!.
</td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

A PGHW diary should focus on the in ring action, both for matches and story lines. Which doesn't mean move by move for every match, but plenty of detail, mood and emotion would all work. Best of luck!

No luck needed, coz in just these two posts even Mr Magoo can see that John Awesome lives to deliver hard hitting matches and angles that have more detail, mood, and emotion than you can stuff in a shampoo bottle and smuggle out of Amsterdam.

And to everyone else: what no picks for winners yet? I guess you GDS marks just aren't interested in serious wrestling between fighters whose names aren't on cereal boxes. Give it two years and you'll see any one of the last four competitors on TCW or SWF, mark my words.

The Real Jack Avatar · February 7, 2010

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
CUT TO

INT. STADIUM ENTRANCE
As MKAT-ULTRA celebrates his victory, John Awesome is at the concession stand chatting up a fifteen year old school girl who has <acronym title="pig tails">twin-tails</acronym>, and glasses; a seifuku uniform, Hello Kitty backback, knee high socks combined with a short skirt for ultimate <acronym title="its the Absolute Territory of leg between a skirt and socks, don't you feel smarter now?">Zettai Ryouiki</acronym>, and a copy of “How to study for Toudai University” in her spare hand that isn’t holding a cell phone with a bunch of stuff dangling from it. She appears to be uncomfortable around John Awesome’s liquored up breath.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“... So toots, tell me more about this “lolicon” thing. Is that another way to tell me that you’re digging John Awesome’s manliness?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">The girl who completely blows all stereotypes out of the water doesn’t reply, and just giggles nervously, not wishing to incur the the wrath of a smelly old gaijin.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I tell ya: You Japs are a weird bunch, but you’re hot and my Johnson respects that. Sorry, by “Japs” of course I was talkin’ about all you Asian broads – Awesome don’t discriminate.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Before this diary can alienate all of Japan even more, Kozue Kawashima interrupts.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-Imouto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Niichan! ”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">The girl uses this as her opportunity to duck below John Awesome’s arm, and latch on to the leader of PGHW’s next generation of elite wrestlers.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“This is my little sister, Imouto Kawashima. Is there a problem here?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-KozueKawashima.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Nothing that teabagging your face wouldn’t fix.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Because you’re a guest here, I’m going to let that one go.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-KozueKawashima.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Cram it Kawasaki. From now on you can change your ring name to a popular reference of someone famous that lost their job, because YOU'RE FIRED!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Wh-what?! I’ve got a written contract!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-KozueKawashima.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Well kiss it good bye, jack. You’re dust.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“No. You can’t do this without legal grounds.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-KozueKawashima.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“You’ve got metrosexual hair, that’s all the grounds I need, Ru Paul.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Kozue bunched up his fist in anger, but before he could raise it, John Awesome had run away and was hiding behind a group of children. You had to hand it to him; even drunk, the man could run away from a fight fast.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
CUT TO

INT. BACKSTAGE
Away from the altercation between Awesome and Kawashima, things got even more heated as Alexander Robinson discovered the fabled cold cuts and cheese within the PGHW staff fridge.

For the next ten minutes, Alexander Robinson makes a sandwich on camera.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
WE CUT TO

INT. RINGSIDE
John Awesome has just returned and is putting on his microphone.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“While I do not disagree with your opinion on his hair, I cannot believe that you just fired one of PGHW’s future stars!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“If that's what GPWH considers a star, then I got moves that will blow your mind. Take a good look at the workers in the ring, Announcer Tatsunoku vs Capcom. You see them? Because those guys are the real deal, and they’re what audiences really want to see. Kozue Whatshisname is old news.

I give you: Scott Hairball, Cat Burgler, Dandruff McMuffin, and :3.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png"" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

TBC...

The Real Jack Avatar · February 7, 2010

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Headers/Header-TagMatch.png

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/ScottHairball.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/CatBurgler.jpg
<img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Versus.png">
http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/SmileCat.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/DandruffMcMuffin.jpg

Scott Hairball and Cat Burgler
vs
:3 and Dandruff McMuffin

It’s the first and only tag match of the night, and there’s a strong division between the two teams in the ring. On one side: a rowdy team made up of a registered alcoholic and a thief on probation, and on the other side: a classically traditional team of an always smiling optimist and a dermatologically-challenged but honorable feline.

Cat Burgler got things started by pouncing on Dandruff McMuffin from behind, as McMuffin was distracted by a butterfly floating through the air. This cheap shot got him a lot of boos, but it also gave him the upper edge in the fight. From there, McMuffin was dragged into the corner, and Scott Hairball and Burgler double-teamed the Dandruffed one. :3 tried to get in the ring to stop them, but this only drew the referee’s attention away from the cheating heels, who continued to beat down McMuffin as his partner protested with the ref in a corner that seemed like it was ten miles away.

The two-on-one sneakily continued for several minutes, with Hairball and C-Burglez taking turns keeping McMuffin stuck in their corner. The tide was turned when an audience member in the front row got up to take a piss and left their beer unattended. Scott was over at the guard rail before anyone even had a chance to blink, lapping up the sweet golden hops of Sapporo’s finest brew.

Dandruff seized this opportunity and pulled the balaclava over Cat Burgler’s eyes so he was unable to see anything. Using the last of his energy, he dragged himself to the other side of the ring and made the OMG HOT-TAG to :3!

In a flash, :3 streaked into the ring and knocked down Burgler before he could get his mask off. Scott Hairball saw the commotion and bolted for assistance, but :3 was full of energy and the tipsy Hairball didn’t stand a chance. Within seconds :3 had cleared the ring.

Things were looking up for the babyfaces, and :3 was about to continue his assault when Referee Adachi stopped him. Unfortunately, in between the action in the ring and Scott Hairball getting liquored up Adachi-san had not seen the tag made by McMuffin! If this was bad, things were about to get much worse, because as :3 tried to reason with the referee Hairball speared :3 from behind, which sent both of them tumbling into Adachi’s feet.

The referee tried to move out of the way of the unstoppable force of cats, but was caught off balance. He tripped and awkwardly fell out of the ring between the second and third ropes, softly hitting the ground unconscious for the second time in his career.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-SWFMarks.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“HO-LY SH*T! HO-LY SH*T! HO-LY SH*T!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“SOMEONE CALL NINE-ONE-ONNNNNEEEE!!!!!!!@!#~~~~”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">With the referee out, Hairball used this opportunity to throw :3 outside the ring and over into the crowd. Back inside the ring, C-Burglez was laying into Dandruff again. McMuffin had managed to regain some energy, but he was still feeling the hurt from earlier. Suddenly he saw his opening. Cat Burgler was going for the Jewel Heist, a finisher that is devastating, but requires a great deal of precision to pull off. As the masked heel lifted Dandruff up by the nape of his neck, McMuffin kicked out with all the strength he had left, causing C-Burglez to flip backwards with his own momentum, and accidentally slam straight onto the top of his head.

Dandruff slowly pulled himself towards Burgler, and covered him....</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Dandruff McMuffin has Cat Burgler pinned, but no one is able to make the count! Adachi-san is unconscious!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">SUDDENLY something large and square falls from the top of the arena and lands in the middle of the ring.</td></tr></table>

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/CardboardBox1.jpg

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“No, wait! It’s Referee Box! The honorable Cardbordu Box isn’t going to sit around and let things end like this!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“What is this I dont even<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">The cardboard box does nothing for three seconds, and John Awesome rings the bell, satisfied with Box-sensai’s officiating.

The winners of the night: :3 & Dandruff McMuffin!</td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

Some of the hottest storylines from last night coming up soon!

The Real Jack Avatar · February 7, 2010

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
SMASH CUT TO

INT. BACKSTAGE
Alexander Robinson is making another sandwich.
Masayuki Shiga enters the room, and spots Robinson.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-MasayukiShiga.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Can you make me a sandwich as well?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“No. Sorry, I vowed to my parents that I would only make sandwiches for myself. That is my way of the Pride.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-AlexanderRobinson.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-MasayukiShiga.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“AMAZING!
Hmm, I shall make my own then.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Shiga-san makes a sandwich himself. After putting the mustard and mayonnaise back into the fridge he turns around to taste his delicious creation, BUT IT IS GONE.

WIPE TRANSITION TO

INT. SADAHARU JIMBO’S OFFICE
John Awesome enters the office and is faced with Owner Jimbo, who has a very angry looking Kozue Kawashima standing behind him.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“You both look like someone just told you there’s only one god in Japan.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Jack—<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SadaharuJimbo.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">He stopped and corrected himself:</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“John, I know that I signed your contract and agreed to your conditions well before tonight. And that even though you have deceived me and will undoubtedly have caused PGHW to lose face among its peers, I am willing to honor our agreement.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SadaharuJimbo.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“That’s right Jimmy! Coz if there’s one thing that Jack Awesome knows, it’s how to scam the hell out of upstanding citizens.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“BUT... You do not have the power to fire Kawashima-san.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SadaharuJimbo.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">All of a sudden John Awesome stopped looking smug. Only for about all of one second.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Your contract clearly states that you cannot fire anyone without agreement with the owner. Well, I deny you this attempt to fire this great wrestler of ours!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SadaharuJimbo.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Yeah, you hear that, <acronym title="PROTIP: Yaro translates to Bastard">yaro</acronym>-bum? He’s the owner and you don’t get to make the decisions!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-KozueKawashima.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“You got me. Hell, I was hoping you wouldn’t have even heard about the firing, but I guess I should have known that this muppet had loose lips – in more ways than one. Yeah, you’re right. John Awesome needs owner approval to fire anyone.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">He paused for a moment, and then spoke in a lowered tone.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“But are you certain that you are the owner?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Jimbo was just about to say something, and then stopped, perplexed, as if he wasn't sure if he heard Awesome correctly.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“What are you talking about?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SadaharuJimbo.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Page 15, section 20. I wouldn’t normally remember numbers, but I had a feeling it might come in handy.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Sadaharu grabbed a copy of the contract, and skimmed through to the section Awesome had cited. His face went as white as a teru teru bouzu dangling in the wind.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“You got problems gabbing. John Awesome knows why though. Always read the fine print or else you’ll get caught with your knickers down and bottle of Tabasco and lime jammed in your ass. I learnt that the hard way when I booked for Babes of Sin City a couple years ago.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">What he was referring to in the contract, was an extremely convoluted and tiny section of legalese which ultimately stated that Sadaharu Jimbo relinquished all ownership of PGHW until John Awesome’s contract was up.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“So you’re the new owner??”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SadaharuJimbo.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkright-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Me? F*ck no, the wrestling business is for losers.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Then if you’re not the owner... who is?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SadaharuJimbo.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Suddenly a BOOMING voice came from up above.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-CeilingCat.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">Ceiling Cat:

“I AM.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SaduharuandKozue.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-CeilingCat.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I AM THE ALMIGHTY CEILING CAT. I SEE EVERYTHING. AND YES I CAN TALK.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SaduharuandKozue.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-CeilingCat.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I APPROVE THE FIRING OF KOZUE KAWASHIMA ON THE GROUNDS OF BEING A METROSEXUAL.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SaduharuandKozue.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-CeilingCat.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I AM ALSO DECLARING THE MAIN EVENT MATCH TO BE A TRIPLE THREAT. GENERAL MELON CAT, PEGGLE THE PIRATE, AND THE MONSTER AFYSSH WILL GO FACE TO FACE WITH EACH OTHER FOR THE PGHW GLORY CROWN TITLE”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">With his arena-breaking announcements made, Ceiling Cat disappeared back into the ether, preparing to spy on you when you masturbate.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-SaduharuandKozue.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
FADE TO BLACK
</td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

TBC...

The Real Jack Avatar · February 7, 2010

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
FADE IN

INT. RINGSIDE
John Awesome has return from the shocking shoot angle that just took place. Announcer Yamamoto seems either too shocked or too in fear of losing his job to speak out on the latest happenings.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“In the ring, it seems we have a battle of the personalities taking place with this next match.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Smartest thing you you’ve said all night, Yamatoyota Prius-san. Tale of the tape just doesn’t even begin to compare the differences between these two hungry cats.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Referee Box is already in the ring, having not moved from his previous position.

Slowly, the music of Mozart fills the arena. To the sound of Piano Sonata No. 16, Serious Cat makes his way to the ring. A young girl in the audience holds her hand out and offers him some kitty treats. Serious Cat doesn’t even give them more than a seconds glance, and walks straight past her.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Serious Cat definitely lives up to his name. One look at his face and you can tell that this is a cat who lives to wrestle for PGHW.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Suddenly Mozart’s sonata is cut short, and Pantera erupts through the arenas sound system, making all babies in attendance break out in uncontrollable bawling.

The psychotic INSANEO rips out from the entrance way, steals the kitty treats from the young girl and then darts towards the ring, after clawing her hand for not having more treats.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“And here comes INSANEO, one of the toughest mooks you will ever meet in your life. And he’s absolutely batsh*t to boot.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“But how does his skill set match up to Serious Cat’s, Awesome-san?” <td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Please. You don’t need to address me with –san. Awesome Kami-sama will do. As for your question, Serious Cat has more skill, but skill aint what it’s all cracked up to be, because this is a No DQ match. This is the kind of match that INSANEO thrives in! *hic*”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/INSANEO.jpghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Versus.pnghttp://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/SeriousCat.jpg

INSANEO vs Serious Cat
(No DQ)
</td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">The two competitors waste no time locking up and going at each others throats. As John Awesome noted, it’s clear that Serious Cat has the technical advantage as well as experience, but INSANEO is able to counter with his own advantage of kicking Serious Cat in the balls.

Serious Cat takes the damage, but is able to recover and mount a comeback, rocking INSANEO with a stiff paw to the gut. Serious Cat takes to the rope, and leaps into the air looking for a body splash, but INSANEO was just playing possum! The crazy brawler lifts his tail at the last second and sprays all in Serious Cat’s face.

Cardbordu Box looks on disapprovingly, but there’s nothing he can do in this case because anything goes! Serious Cat flails about the ring as INSANEO turns around and extends all of his claws and lunges towards Serious Cat in what is about to make hardcore history—

CUT TO

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9w-XELhc4w&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9w-XELhc4w&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

CUT BACK TO
INT. RINGSIDE

The bell rings and Serious Cat is pronounced the victor, in what is sure to go down as the biggest shock of all time!
</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“If you told me ten minutes ago that one day I was going to see something like that in PGHW, I would have never believed you. I don’t know if I liked it, but it still blew me away.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“You know what blew me away? The fact that the Slap Chop guys paid me a whole forty bucks for only two minutes of airtime! Everyone should buy their sh*t to support the dough they’ll keep giving me.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
CUT TO
INT. BACKSTAGE
Masayuki Shiga is searching for his sandwich, but cannot find it, no matter where he looks. He stumbles across PRIDE Koiso, who is sleeping in a shower stall.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-PRIDEKoiso.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Shiga-sempai, what’s the trouble?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I made a sandwich and I have lost it. It was without a doubt the most ultimate sandwich ever created.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-MasayukiShiga.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-PRIDEKoiso.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I think I saw a sandwich heading towards the boiler room just a little while before I took a nap in my locker room, here.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left"><acronym title="****">“Shimata!”</acronym><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkright-MasayukiShiga.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">Shiga-san quickly runs out the door in search of his sandwich.

Confident that Masayuki Shiga has gone, PRIDE Koiso reaches into a gym bag and reveals Shiga-san’s sandwich!</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-PRIDEKoiso.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“Yes. Now I hold the power of Sandwich.”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

The Real Jack Avatar · February 7, 2010

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
CUT TO
INT. RINGSIDE
A cage is being lowered around the ring in preparation of the main event. We pan over to the announce booth, where John Awesome is searching under the desk for loose change.</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Left/Talkleft-TsunayoshiYamamoto.png" border="0"></td><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“It seems as though not only was Kawakami-san incorrect about it being a crafty gaijin plan, he was also incorrect thinking that sandwich was his destiny! What do you make of this Awesome Kami-sama?”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"></td></td></td></tr></table>
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="400" bgcolor="#6666ff" align="left">“I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Whoever booked this crap should be fired—Ooh a yen!”<td width="5" bgcolor="#6666ff"><td width="110"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Talk%20Right/Talkleft-JohnAwesome.png" border="0"></td></td></td></td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">

http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Headers/Header-MainEvent.png

<img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/GeneralMelonCat.jpg"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Versus.png"><img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/PegglethePirate.jpg">
<img src="http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Kittahs/TheMonsterAfyssh.jpg">
General Melon Cat
vs
Peggle the Pirate
vs
The Monster Afyssh

For The
http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/PGHW_Glory.jpg
PGHW Glory Crown Championship Title

The biggest match of the night, commanded from up high by the almighty Ceiling Cat, was just about to start, and it was set in motion with a rip roaring start as General Melon Cat made his way to the ring with his iconic hat of melon.

YARRR echoed across the arena as the vicious Peggle the Pirate made his way to the ring next. The general and the pirate stared each other down, their separate moral codes creating an electric thunderstorm in the atmosphere.

But despite their ingrained hatred of each other, both were forced to break the stare-down as The Monster Afyssh stomped down the entrance way, his size eclipsing both of the main event felines combined.

The cage was locked and Cardbordu Box gave some kind of unseen signal for the bell to be rung.

For the first twenty minutes it could be described as your standard cat triple threat match beginning, with all three workers sizing each other up, and no one committing to making a move. This all changed in the twenty-sixth minute when Melon Cat attacked Afyssh with wayward pounce. The giant saw it coming, and managed to catch Meron Cat in mid-air with his over-sized paw. Sensing this as an opportunity, Peggle swooped in and took Afyssh’s leg out from under him. The monster hit fell to the mat and both Peggle and Melon Cat double teamed him.

Of course this kitty solidarity didn’t last forever, as once Afyssh was out for the count, both cats began fighting over the pin. Melon Cat managed to knock Peggle out of the ring and went for the pinfall. However, before Cardbordu Box could do anything, Peggle the Pirate had sneaked up on the apron, lifted his tale, and sprayed a stinging stream of urine into The General’s face.

Temporarily blinded, Melon Cat fell backwards, wailing like Cat Stevens, the dastardly Peggle seized the opportunity to go for the pin, but it was too late, as Afyssh had regained his consciousness, and was not happy.

Peggle pounced straight into a Rathole Slam, the impact so great that it flung him out of the ring. Unfortunately, Peggle was no use to Afyssh outside the ring, so he turned to the temporarily blinded Melon Cat.

Melon Cat was got his vision back just in time to see a monster-sized headbutt coming his way. The blow connected, but the melon on his head thankfully saved his life. The respite was brief though, as Afyssh laid into him, and knocked him all about the ring. Box-san saw that Afyssh had begun using closed paw punches, but he was helpless to stop the monster’s rampage.

As Afyssh took a moment to taunt the audience with a deep hiss, Melon Cat did the one thing he swore he’s never do.

He pulled out a vial of cat nip, and snapped it open under his nose.

Afyssh stalked towards his prey, but before he could reach him, Melon Cat had pounced back up to his feet. With little mind for anything but destruction, Afyssh spent no time contemplating this comeback and attacked his opponent. The strike connected, but Melon Cat didn’t even flinch! Afyssh threw another punch, and another punc, and another, but none had any effect on Melon Cat!

Melon Cat thrusted out a claw in the big feline’s direction, and the wagged it from side to side, getting an audible pop from the audience. Frustrated Afyssh threw another punch – this one with all his weight behind it... but it was blocked! Melon Cat hit him back and rocked the large worker to his core. Again and again, a flurry of strikes came from Melon Cat and eventually dropped the monster to the ground.

Melon Cat went over to the corner and began scratching the ring post – the signal for his finishing move. Peggle had come to his senses, and tried to stop General Melon as he climbed to the top turnbuckle, but he was promptly kicked in the face and fell back to the floor, knocking himself out on the announce table.

Afyssh was slowly raising to his feet, and as he turned around, the last thing he saw was General Melon Cat leaping off the top rope and attaching himself to his face.

With his front paws and teeth wrapped around Afyssh’s head, Melon Cat began rapidly kicking Afyssh in the face with his hind legs. Afyssh was still too shocked to do anything, and was knocked out before he had a chance to react.

Melon Cat rolled the monster feline over and sat on top of him, washing himself as the referee didn’t count to three and the bell rung, signalling Melon Cat as the victor and NEW PGWH GLORY CROWN CHAMPION !</td></tr></table>

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center"><tr><td width="450" align="justify">
http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll327/crayotic/PGWH/Headers/Header-Angle.png

As Melon Cat celebrates with the title, Yoshimi Mushashibo, Mito Miwa and Shuji Inukai come to the ring and fire t-shirts into the audience.

FADE TO BLACK
FIN.
</td></tr></table>

</td></td></table>

Nedew · February 7, 2010

Good lord. This is glorious.

LearningTree · February 7, 2010

Speechless.

As Melon Cat celebrates with the title, Yoshimi Mushashibo, Mito Miwa and Shuji Inukai come to the ring and fire t-shirts into the audience.

I came.

critical-23 · February 7, 2010

Not to be a downer but will we see any actual c-verse wrestlers or what? And please believe i am enjoying the cats, lol.

crayon · February 8, 2010

Hey guys, just want to give a thanks to everyone who took part in this little experiement of mine (and stuck it out past the Jack Avatar stuff, which was pretty bad, I know).

Unfortunately, regarding future plans of this diary, it's a One Night Stand kind of deal. It may seem like tripe but I put so much effort into writing and setting the presentation of these that I can really only afford to do a show once in a blue moon. (plus, any extention to Awesome's contract was provided he pulled good results for this show.. I don't think that happened )

I really couldn't afford to do it now even, but John Awesome had been away so long and it felt like it was about time I gave something back to the diary community

And for those of you who are new to John Awesome, but like his style, you can find another dose of the bearded top hatted one in this old Babes of Sin City Diary (for the record, I prefer John Awesome when he's surrounded with broads, but a place as serious as PGHW was too hard to resist)

-----

Oh, and just as an aside: While the crowd pretty much sh*t on all the ringwork and most of the angles, surprisingly they had no complaints to make about any of the Sandwich-orientated angles. I guess even PGHW fans can appreciate a good sandwich.

According to a popup, Sadaharu Jimbo thinks we should be utilizing Scott Hairball better as well

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PGHW: An Infamous Night Of Glory

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