lprock Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 WWE Live Event, St. Louis Missouri. July 9th, 2009. 11:30 PM EST John Cena is packing his duffel bag, ready to leave the arena, when he is approached by none other than Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Dr. McMahon: John, can I have a word with you? John Cena: Sup Vince, what would you fancy talking about? Dr. McMahon: I just received the tests from your doctor. You've tested positive for AIDS. John and Dr. Vincent share an awkward moment of silence. John Cena: Well this can't be very good. Dr McMahon: John, you know my policy. John Cena: Please Doctor Vince, gimme one more chance. I can change Doctor Vince, I can change. Dr. McMahon: No gays allowed, John. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to release you from your contract. Dr Vince takes John's contract out of his pocket and rips it into tiny pieces. Dr. McMahon: I'll see you in hell, mother*bleep*er. Cena stands motionless, staring down at his ripped up contract. He's relationshipless, jobless, what's next? Suddenly, John receives a call on his cell phone. John Cena: Hello? Matt Hardy: John..John, I have some bad news man. John Cena: What? What is it man? Matt Hardy: John, it's your house John. Your house has burned to the ground John. There's nothing left. John Cena: No Matt, no! What about Tony, man, what about Tony?! Matt Hardy: You mean the homosexual African American Army man you met overseas, and who also made a guest appearance in the Smackdown! vs. Raw 2009 video game? John Cena: Yes. Matt Hardy: Oh, he's dead. Matt hung up, leaving John to sulk about being relationshipless, jobless, and now homeless - alone. What would he do now? John Cena: What will I do now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lprock Posted February 27, 2010 Author Share Posted February 27, 2010 John Cena's Wrestling School Img 1|Img 2| http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/9816/2qwodht.png John Cena's Wrestling School Main Event John Cena --- --- Karlito Karribean Kool | World John Cena World Champion Randy Orton | World John Cena Hardcore Champion Uppercard John Bradshaw Layfield Kurt Angle Shelton Benjamin --- --- Tha Black Phenom Midcard John Bradshaw Layfield --- --- JTG Matt Hardy Pete Gas | World John Cena Tag Team Champion / World John Cena Hyp Champion Shad Gaspard Lowercard Hardcore Holly Hunter Hypnosis Helmsly - *deceased* --- --- Akon Joey Abs | World John Cena Tag Team Champion Rodney | World John Cena Tag Team Champion Divas Mark Henrita --- --- N/A Staff John Bradshaw Layfield | Co-Owner of JCWS John Cena | Co-Owner of JCWS Jon Arbuckle - Head Booker Jerry King Lawler | Commentator Michael Cole | Commentator Mr. Cena | Writer --- --- Evil Referee Charlies Robinson | Evil Referee Pete Gas | Booker Superstar Alliances The Cena's | John Cena & Mr. Cena --- --- Mean Street Posse | Pete Gas & Joey Abs & Rodney WORLD JOHN CENA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP http://i28.tinypic.com/2jd2ys5.png REIGNING CHAMPION: Karlito Karribean Kool DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: Tha Black Phenom WORLD JOHN CENA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS http://i26.tinypic.com/16ga551.png REIGNING CHAMPION(s): Mean Street Posse DEFENSES: 1 PREVIOUS CHAMPION(s): N/A WORLD JOHN CENA HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP http://i28.tinypic.com/2mfbyp.png REIGNING CHAMPION: Randy Orton DEFENSES: 4 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: N/A WORLD JOHN CENA WORLD CUP http://i28.tinypic.com/2vi2i4h.png REIGNING CHAMPION: N/A DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: N/A WORLD JOHN CENA HYP TITLE http://i29.tinypic.com/11l7xw0.png REIGNING CHAMPION: Pete Gas DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: Hunter Hypnosis Helmsly Championship History World John Cena World Championship 1. Tha Black Phenom [0 Defenses] 2. Karlito Karribean Kool [0 Defenses] World John Cena Tag Team Championships 1. Mean Street Posse [1 Defense] World John Cena Hardcore Championship 1. Randy Orton [4 Defenses] World John Cena World Cup 1. N/A World John Cena Hyp Title 1. Hunter Hypnosis Helmsly [0 Defenses] 2. Pete Gas [0 Defenses] Update Archive Arc One || JCWS Begins John gets fired for being gay John forms a partnership with a Wrestling God John loses the Hardcore title to a Viper John wants YOU to comment! John meets Tha Black Phenom's Mean Street Posse John meets Tha Black Phenom in his Poppin' Club John defeats Mark Henry to become the number one contender for the World John Cena World Championship John and JBL are ambushed by Randy Orton's men John meets Shelton Benjamin on the midnight train goin' anywhere John and Lance Storm move onto Round 2 of the World John Cena World Cup Tournament John gains a team to fight Tha Black Phenom's Posse and makes a card John Cena‘s Wrestling School Presents: Brutal Metabolism Arc Two || JCWS Is Rising. Is There Any Stopping It? John and JBL get beat up by Cryme Tyme because they're pussies A Note From The Desk Of John Cena Not Really I Mean Myself Seeing As I Write This **** Not John ****ing Cena John and JBL go to Denny's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikerdude Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 Gosh what a lovely idea this is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linsolv Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 AIDS does not equal gay. Where are you getting these ideas? EDIT: Aside from that bit of either misinformation or homophobia, I do like the idea of a gay John Cena. Seems to play counter to his image in such a way that makes it... fun. If it's played right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lprock Posted February 27, 2010 Author Share Posted February 27, 2010 John Cena is a very peculiar man. That should answer every question you'll ever have. --- --- --- John Cena's Hotel Room, St. Louis Missouri. July 10th, 2009. 1:23 PM EST John Cena is sitting alone in his hotel room crying like a pussy girl, when all of the sudden, his phone begins to ring. John Cena: Hello. Sylvan: Hey you silly goose! John Cena: Hi Sylvan. Sylvan: What's wrong hun? John Cena: Doctor Vince figured out I was gay and fired me. Sylvan: Awwwwwww. John Cena: And my house burnt down. Sylvan: Awwwwwwwww. John Cena: My life partner also died in the fire. Sylvan: Awwww-- so you're available? John Cena: You can't afford me, bitch. Sylvan calls John a mother*bleep*er and hangs up on him. John Cena: Lord, I need a sign. What do I do? That's when John's good friend JBL arrived. John Cena: How did you get in here? JBL: John, I heard you were fired for being a *bleep*. John Cena: Yes. JBL: Why don't you open a Wrestling School for people like me who can't wrestle worth a flying *bleep*. John contemplated the idea for a few moments. A wrestling school? Could he really run something that took so much time and effort? John Cena: That's a class A idea. JBL: Sounds good John, now as the creator of this idea, and your business partner, I'll be expecting 90% of all income and full credit for every accomplishment we ever make. You'll also need to finance it, all of my money's currently tied up in trying to put Shawn Michaels kids through college. John Cena: I never asked you to be-- JBL: Lovely, I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, partner. JBL leaves Cena to contemplate his situation. --- --- --- 30 minutes later, John Cena ties a noose around his neck and tries to hang himself from the ceiling fan, only for it to break and fall on top of him, knocking Cena out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikerdude Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 Silly cena. he should get a bowflex to properly hang himself. There newest one can have you killed, and your family worried in just 11 minutes!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanMcFly Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 Good God this is brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terminator980 Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 I have no idea what I just read. I'm scared...but I want to read more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisKid Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 I have no idea what I just read. I'm scared...but I want to read more. Same here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waghlon Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 This is like watching Desperate Housewives while eating crackcocaine on toast. It goes against all moral fibers in my body, but i want more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Save_Us.Necro Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 DOTY already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nedew Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 AIDS does not equal gay. Where are you getting these ideas? Fictional characters can be judgemental or wrong about things, doesn't mean the author is Suitably wacky stuff here lp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Shape Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 LOL it's been brought to GDS. God help us all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhenomenalPat Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 This may simultaneously be the dumbest and most interesting thing I've ever seen on these boards. It's like a 20 car pile up with mangled bodies. Your brain is saying "don't look at this...don't stare at other peoples horrible misfortune", yet the eyes are like "F*** that! Check it out man!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaySticLe of YouTube Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 This is crazy... yet I kinda am addicted to it! Just one thing though... JBL can wrestle. It's like saying Steven Segal can't -- ah, what am I saying, this is a 60's lover's fantasy, common sense isn't involved whatsoever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurningHamster Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 I approve of this. I also find it funny that McMahon is so anti-gay now. After years of keeping gay (and in the case of Terry Garvin, very shady) guys on his roster. Poor John Cena. I hope things pick up for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lprock Posted February 27, 2010 Author Share Posted February 27, 2010 Subway, West Newbury, Massachusetts. July 11th, 2009. 4:23 PM EST John Cena and JBL are sitting in Subway, discussing possible superstars they can recruit into John Cena's Wrestling School. JBL: All of those people *bleep*ing suck. John Cena: I thought the point of a wrestling school was to train people. JBL: *bleep* you, you suck. John Cena: I'm sorry, I-- JBL:: *bleep* off I *bleep*ing quit. JBL storms off. John Cena: Hmm. Before he could capitalize on his friends absence, John's phone began to ring. John Cena: Hello. Mr. Cena: Hey John, I heard you were starting a wrestling school. John Cena: Yes. Mr. Cena: I'm in. John's caller hangs up. John Cena: Oh my. John stands up, ready to leave, when he notices Randy Orton in the corner of his eye. John Cena: OHNO- DRIVE BY RKO THROUGH A TABLE. Randy covers John for 3 seconds, grabs his World John Cena Hardcore Championship, and runs away. Roster to be updated soon. Probably. WORLD JOHN CENA HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP http://i28.tinypic.com/2mfbyp.png REIGNING CHAMPION: Randy Orton DEFENSES: 0 PREVIOUS CHAMPION: John Cena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikerdude Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 JBL is just jealous because Cena has a wrestling school, while he is just a multi millionaire and can do whatever he wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaySticLe of YouTube Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 What the--? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terminator980 Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 You gotta watch out for those damn drive by RKO's. They'll get ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxxHexx Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 This is the most offensive things I have ever read on GDS. The juxtaposition of homophobia and yet censoring all the language added to randomness is blowing my mind. Carry on with the insanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lprock Posted February 28, 2010 Author Share Posted February 28, 2010 A Random Update To Show Off This New Graphic http://i26.tinypic.com/f9p01c.jpg Look at the face, it made me lol. Ohahahahaha. Ohboy. Update coming whenever I finish this other thing I'm doing on another site right now. Enjoy the nice picture for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensai of Mattitude Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I think that was the best title win in history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaySticLe of YouTube Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 That picture motivated me so much that I just HAD to subscribe to this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingJoel Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Instant DOTY. This is full of win, so much win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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