USPW: Where Ages 68 and Older Still Won't Retire

[BYU 14]

<p>USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. <strong>Enygma</strong> © (B-)</p><p> </p><p>

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. <strong>Peter Valentine</strong> © (C+)</p><p> </p><p>

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- <strong>The Hotshots</strong> vs. The Peoples Team © (C-)</p><p> </p><p>

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. <strong>Raven Robinson</strong> © (D+)</p><p> </p><p>

Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. <strong>Bruce The Giant</strong> ©</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Alicia Strong</strong> vs. Belle Bryden (C-)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>James Justice</strong> vs. T-Rex (D+)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Jim Force</strong> vs. Darryl Devine (C-)</p><p> </p><p>

Toa vs. <strong>Andre Jones</strong> (D)</p>

[Bigpapa42]

<p>USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. <strong>Enygma </strong>©</p><p>

USPW National Championship Match- <strong>Nicky Champion </strong>vs. Peter Valentine ©</p><p>

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. <strong>The Peoples Team</strong> ©</p><p>

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. <strong>Raven Robinson</strong> ©</p><p>

Hardcore Match- <strong>Chris Caulfield</strong> vs. Bruce The Giant</p><p>

Alicia Strong vs.<strong> Belle Bryden</strong></p><p>

<strong>James Justice</strong> vs. T-Rex</p><p>

Jim Force vs. <strong>Darryl Devine</strong></p><p>

<strong>Toa </strong>vs. Andre Jones</p>

[J Silver]

<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><strong><span style="font-size:18px;">More than just Pr0n!?</span></strong></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> As the King of my kingdom of Sh*ttsylvania I sit atop my throne. It's quite the lonely place. We don't have much tourism here, the bushes outside are a much nicer place to piss. I'm proud to say though that Sh*ttsylvania is now the proud owners of a laptop computer. I'm led to believe that this piece of technology can be used to connect Sh*ttsyvania with the outside world as I hear the internet is for more than just porn, though I have a hard time believing that ridiculous statement. I hear the internet can be used to find things other than loose women and communicate with people other than strippers. I had just finished the last show and thought to myself '<em>Hmm, I wonder if anybody talks about wrestling on the internet. And not just that kind with the naked women. Though I'm sure BSC are popular in the internets. I bet they even have their own website. We may not have naked women wrestling, but I still wonder if anyone talks about USPW. I wonder what these perverts think of me and my work.</em>' </p><p> </p><p> I decided to search for USPW. What I came up with was this odd site that told me information. Crazy, huh? It told me USPW stands for United States Prisoner of War. Well, I do feel like a captive of this job and I am being held in a small, smelly, cage-like apparatus. Wow, the internet really can be used for information too. You learn something new everyday. I continued trying to search for USPW but wasn't having much success. Then I tried with USPW Wrestling. Jackpot. The first site I came across was just what I was looking for too, a wrestling news and columns site. I decided to click on the main headline and read it, it has a picture of the USPW logo next to it. This should be good, I can't wait to hear all the positive things that the nice people of the internets are saying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="26930" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/internet2.jpg</span><p> <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline;">PWHits Weekend Update</span></strong></p><p> </p><p> By: Irving Vans</p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> Sorry I've been gone all month long guys, but I've been on vacation. Cancun FTW bitches. Anyways, I'm back now and ready to recap everything I've missed. It's been a surprisingly good month for signings. Let's get started, shall we?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> -In the top story of the month USPW has found themselves with a new head booker, Jacob Stranton. And guess where he's from kids? Hollywood. Yup, USPW got themselves a Hollywood writer to do their booking. So far Stranton seems to be happy making a mockery of everything USPW and stomping all over tradition. Seriously, he had his #1 contenders for the Tag Team Championships mug The Hillbillies this week. Only time will tell if everything he books ends up this Stran-Tastic.</p><p> </p><p> -USPW have signed Samoan Machine to a contract recently. Somewhat exciting news as now I can see Machine on my TV every week. Not so exciting as it has to be USPW TV. They've turned him into some sort of Samoan warrior monk. At least it wasn't some wild Samoan beast. That would've just been ridiculous and offensive.</p><p> </p><p> -In title change news, USPW saw fit to give Samoan Machine a title on his first night in the company. Yup, they gave him.... The Television Title. *Yawn* Come back when they give him a real title, like the Tag Team Championship. Or the Womens Championship. Hey, it's more prestigious.</p><p> </p><p> -And while we're on USPW they've signed Dharma Gregg on as a manager. You know the one, the one from the company of ex-strippers. USPW have said they have no plans of putting her in the ring. I say good call, super soaker matches aren't the best way to try to convince everyone you're still family friendly.</p><p> </p><p> -Indy promo darling, NYCWs Roger Cage has finally moved on up into the big time. SWF signed the youngster to a contract and opted not to send him to developmental. Good news for Cage and SWF, bad news for NYCW. He was one of the only 3 (I believe) wrestlers under 45 (I believe). Average wrestler age there is again 65. And that's just the actives.</p><p> </p><p> -BHOTWG have recently signed one of the top womens wrestlers of all time and one of the most decorated champions in 5SSW history.... to do commentary. Thunder Hike signed the contract about three weeks ago and will participate on the next tour.</p><p> </p><p> -CGC, the down-trodden little Canadian sports entertainment promotion who've been having trouble finding wrestlers that are actually entertaining have found one. They've signed the young Jacob Jett to a contract and seem poised to make a star of him. Good thing too, I'm not sure I could sit through another Whippy The Clown promo. That guy gives me the creeps. I swear If I have to hear one more promo start with "Hello widdle boys and girls..."</p><p> </p><p> -Eien Miyamoto was recalled from PGHWs developmental league last week and onto the main roster. And.... I've got nothing smart assey to say to that. Hey, I ain't a one trick pony, I can do serious too.</p><p> </p><p> -Stone Yoshikawa was also recalled from PGHWs developmental league last week and onto the main roster. Then they fired him. So, why is Miyamoto still there and Yoshikawa not? Simple, Jimbo likes the young blondes better.</p><p> </p><p> -ROF recently released a quarter of their roster citing something about being poor and neglected. Rhys Vali, Nigel Svensson, Martin Heath, Jon Michael Sharp and Gob Narfi were all shown the door. 21CWs Jeff Nova commented "Yeah, Maybe I'll pick them up. Put 'em in a stable called the 'Ring of Flamers.' The five have expressed excitement over that comment. Nobodies had the heart to explain the joke to them yet.</p><p> </p><p> -Finally, in my weekly round-up of TV shows TCW: Awesome, SWF: Yawn, USPW: Complete Suckitude. DVR, I love you. You allow me to skip over all the crap.</p><p> </p><p> And that's that. This is Irving Vans signing off. Until next time folks.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p> Wow, it's like internet wrestling fans don't actually like wrestling. How peculiar...</p><p> <hr></p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="26930" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;"><p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Prediction Contest Results</span></p><p> </p><p> Dragonmack- 10 pt.</p><p> Nightshadeex- 10 pt.</p><p> Bigpapa42- 6 pt.</p><p> James Casey- 10 pt.</p><p> tristam- 6 pt.</p><p> GruntMark- 9 pt.</p><p> BYU 14- 12 pt.</p><p> xopher316- 6 pt.</p><p> 1PWfan- 9 pt.</p><p> MaxxHexx- 9 pt.</p><p> </p><p> And <strong>BYU 14</strong> has won one more.</p><p> </p><p> <span style="text-decoration:underline;">MTD Standings</span></p><p> </p><p> BYU 14- 58 pt</p><p> Dragonmack- 53 pt</p><p> xopher316- 51 pt</p><p> MaxxHexx- 36 pt</p><p> Bigpapa42- 36 pt</p><p> Nightshadeex- 33 pt</p><p> Jammy Dodger- 27 pt</p><p> GruntMark- 25 pt</p><p> SeanMcFly- 24 pt</p><p> Angeldelayette- 24 pt</p><p> 1PWfan- 24 pt</p><p> Astil- 18 pt</p><p> mistaken- 15 pt</p><p> James Casey- 10 pt</p><p> tristam- 6 pt</p><p> ChrisKid- 6 pt</p><p> </p></div><p></p><p></p></div></blockquote><p> <hr></p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FrozenDreams.jpg</span><p> <object width="320" height="265"><param name="movie" value="<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDENcJKKP_Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&" rel="external nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDENcJKKP_Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param</a> name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDENcJKKP_Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&" rel="external nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDENcJKKP_Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&"</a> type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="30" height="25"></embed></object></p><p> <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Final Card for USPW Frozen Dreams!</span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="color:#4169E1;">USPW World Championship Match</span></strong>- Baine vs. Enygma ©</p><p> <strong><span style="color:#4169e1;">USPW National Championship Match</span></strong>- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine ©</p><p> <strong><span style="color:#4169e1;">USPW Tag Team Championship Match</span></strong>- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©</p><p> <strong><span style="color:#4169e1;">USPW Women's Championship Match</span></strong>- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson © </p><p> <strong> Hardcore #1 Contenders Match</strong>- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant</p><p> Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden</p><p> James Justice vs. T-Rex</p><p> Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine</p><p> Toa vs. Andre Jones</p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> <em>3 points for correct winner</em></p><p><em> 1 point for correct match rating</em></p><p> </p><p> Predictions welcome. Hopefully the show will be up sometime this weekend.</p>

[Dragonmack]

<p>Final Card for USPW Frozen Dreams!</p><p> </p><p>

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. <strong>Enygma ©</strong> C+</p><p> </p><p>

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. <strong>Peter Valentine ©</strong> D+</p><p> </p><p>

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- <strong>The Hotshots </strong>vs. The Peoples Team ©</p><p>

C</p><p>

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. <strong>Raven Robinson ©</strong> C-</p><p> </p><p>

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- <strong>Chris Caulfield</strong> vs. Bruce The Giant C-</p><p> </p><p>

Alicia Strong vs. <strong>Belle Bryden</strong> C-</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>James Justice</strong> vs. T-Rex C</p><p> </p><p>

Jim Force vs. <strong>Darryl Devine</strong> D+</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Toa </strong>vs. Andre Jones C</p>

[Beeker]

<p>USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma ©</p><p>

<em>- An unstoppable monster only works as long as he's unstoppable. But Enygma is on a HUGE contract. So... double DQ as Baine goes crazy and Enygma tries to revenge for Ryddle. Quite a puzzle!</em> </p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: B</span> </p><p> </p><p>

USPW National Championship Match- <strong>Nicky Champion</strong> vs. Peter Valentine ©</p><p>

<em>- Deadweight Valentine drops it to the oh-so-young (by USPW standards) Champion. A new champion in Champion! Yay!</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: C-</span></p><p> </p><p>

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. <strong>The Peoples Team ©</strong></p><p>

<em>-The Hotshots are most fun when chasing AND if they win the belts, Vessey will use it to pay off some debts. That's no fun.</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: C</span></p><p> </p><p>

USPW Women's Championship Match- <strong>Brazzles</strong> vs. Raven Robinson ©</p><p>

<em>- Brazzles and the Fooooorce should team up. Those would be epic interviews! And since Raven's done nothing memorable of late. Give it to the crazy girl.</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: C+</span></p><p> </p><p>

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. <strong>Bruce The Giant</strong></p><p>

<em>-For more Aussie interviewing fun. And Caulfield reminds me of Tommy Dreamer who always wants to do the job in the end.</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: B-</span></p><p> </p><p>

Alicia Strong vs. <strong>Belle Bryden</strong></p><p>

<em>- Poor muffin. I have no basis for this other than I want Bryden to win.</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: C+</span></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>James Justice</strong> vs. T-Rex</p><p>

<em>- Nothing phases the Dude, dude.</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: D+</span></p><p> </p><p>

Jim Force vs. <strong>Darryl Devine</strong></p><p>

<em>-Jimmy won on TV, bookering 101 says Devine wins here, besides he's got a story going on while Force... has merchandise to sell.</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: D+</span></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Toa</strong> vs. Andre Jones</p><p>

<em>- The saddest loses again.</em></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Rating: D</span></p><p>

Also... hi J!</p>

[eayragt]

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma © (C+)

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine © (D+)

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team © (D)

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson © (D+)

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant ©

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden (C-)

James Justice vs. T-Rex ©

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine (D+)

Toa vs. Andre Jones (D)

 

I would give explanations... but as I might start up my game as a USPW diary, I wont.

[GruntMark]

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma © B-

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine © D+

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team © D

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson © C

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant C-

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden C+

James Justice vs. T-Rex C+

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine D

Toa vs. Andre Jones D

[SeanMcFly]

Hate to do the long bump, but It seems he always gets stuck on Frozen Dreams

 

For those who haven't read this yet, you need to read it, because this is probably one of the best on the board.

[Dragonmack]

This is J Silver we are talking about here. Where others update once a week, he takes the long view and updates once a year!

 

But, assuming he isn't dead, or rotting in a prison in the Middle East somewhere, I think he will make one of his sporadic returns in a month or so.

[Beeker]

Hate to do the long bump, but It seems he always gets stuck on Frozen Dreams

 

For those who haven't read this yet, you need to read it, because this is probably one of the best on the board.

 

Yes it is a great dynasty but it's a pretty crappy thing to do those who know and have read and love this piece of insanely comedic brilliance to bump it after so long.

 

It should be something left for J Silver to do, since I had hoped and expected something from him. Not a pointless bump from a fanboy.

 

On some boards you'd get a warning for that.

[Nightshadeex]

He was on the boards today.

[J Silver]

Hate to do the long bump, but It seems he always gets stuck on Frozen Dreams

Damn you Frozen Dreams! Thou are my undoing!

*

Play nice now boys. Don't you make me turn this car around.

This is J Silver we are talking about here. Where others update once a week, he takes the long view and updates once a year!

My teachers always did call me slow...

But, assuming he isn't dead, or rotting in a prison in the Middle East somewhere, I think he will make one of his sporadic returns in a month or so.

I ain't dead yet, just look at the Mods forum for proof of that. I'll make my return eventually, but right now I'm just on a hiatus. I meant to post something about the hiatus. Also meant to post the PPV. Meant to water that plant too. Anyway, life needs my attention right now, and tbh it was pretty stupid of me to start this dynasty up when I did. Once I've taken care of things I'll be back at this though. PPV's actually about a third written already.

 

Teaser for the PPV below:

 

-Our cameraman is backstage in the locker room of Nicky Champion who has Alicia Strong with him for company. Champion is getting ready for his match as he tapes up his wrists and pulls his pads on. Strong seems to be getting ready for her own match as well.

 

 

Alicia: "I know you won't need it Nicky, but good luck out there against Valentine."

Champion: "Of course I don't need luck, but glad you're wishing it on me anyway."

Alicia: "Now don't get c0cky on me, he's going to cheat like heck to try to beat you."

Champion: "But he won't. Just like Bryden won't beat you tonight."

Alicia: "I can't wait to put her in her place."

 

Champion: "And I know you will."

 

Champion stands up and walks over to Alicia. He places his hand on her shoulder as she turns toward him, looking him in the eyes.

 

Champion: "Then we can go out and celebrate. Just you, me, and my shiny new gold belt."

Alicia: "I'd like that."

 

The two just look into each others eyes for a moment, both silent, a grin on both their faces. And then...

 

 

 

"Big night tonight brother!" Sam yells as he barges into Champions locker room. Champion and Alicia gasp as Strong walks in, a look of terror engulfing them, not too dissimilar to that of a child whose parent walks in on them 'discovering the joys of puberty.' Champion and Alicia quickly get their distances from each other.

 

Champion: "Sam, hey. I didn't know you were here."

Sam: "Well brother, you would if you had been watching the show. Guess you were too busy focusing on your match tonight. Good boy, just like I taught you."

Champion: "Yup, just been focusing on that."

Sam: "What are you doing here, Muffin? Ah, what does it matter? It's like a family reunion brother. I just came down to the arena tonight to wish you two luck out there in your matches. This one's a big one for you Nicky, you're gonna win your first National Championship tonight. Then you're on your way right up to the World Championship. I'm proud of you brother. And my little Muffin, you can finally prove to that narcissistic egomaniac that she isn't queen of anything around here. Shut her up tonight Muffin."

Champion: "Yes, sir. Will do."

Alicia: "Thank you daddy."

 

Sam: "And when you two win I'm taking us all out to the steak house. My treat."

 

Alicia and Nicky exchange a glance momentarily as Sam rambles on about their dinner plans tonight.

 

Alicia: "Sounds... great, daddy."

 

Sam: "Great. Well, I'll let you two get back to getting ready. I have a few things to take care of, but I'll be watching both of your matches. Good luck out there."

 

Sam Strong leaves the two to themselves again. They both let out a deep sigh of relief and actually have a bit of a laugh once they're sure Sam is far enough away from the door.

(C+)

[J Silver]

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FDPromo.jpg

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FrozenDreams.jpg

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Final Card for USPW Frozen Dreams!

 

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma ©

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine ©

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson ©

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden

James Justice vs. T-Rex

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine

Toa vs. Andre Jones

 

3 points for correct winner

1 point for correct match rating

 

OOC: So, I think my hiatus has had enough time. Frozen Dreams! will be posted on Monday so anyone who still wants to get in predictions is welcome to do so. Top three predictors will win a prize this month, prize tbd. After Frozen Dreams! I feel I can probably handle one show a week to be posted every Monday.

 

Oh, and...

Also... hi J!

Hi Beeker!

[Dragonmack]

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma ©

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine ©

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson (c)

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden

James Justice vs. T-Rex

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine

Toa vs. Andre Jones

[Hyde Hill]

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma ©

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine ©

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson ©

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden

James Justice vs. T-Rex

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine

Toa vs. Andre Jones

[Bigpapa42]

I won't lie - I freaking love that poster.

[Candyman]

I won't lie - I freaking love that poster.

 

Seconded.

[Nightshadeex]

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma ©

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine ©

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson ©

Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden

James Justice vs. T-Rex

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine

Toa vs. Andre Jones

[J Silver]

USPW: Where we've had 5 shows in 103 days.

 

Not too shabby if I do say so myself. Now on with the show...

<hr>

 

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FDPromo.jpg

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FrozenDreams.jpg

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USPW Frozen Dreams! (Part 1)

Saturday, Week 4, January 2010

Held at The Louisianna Auditorium

Att. 10,000

 

 

 

Dark Matches

 

-(USPWs new best match ever, but you'll never know what it is Dark Match) (B-)

 

 

 

Main Show

 

 

-We start off tonights show with a cold open package highlighting all of the feuds culminating tonight and focusing most of its time on tonights main event between Baine and USPW World Champion Enygma.

(B)

 

 

-Our announcers hype up the show to everyone watching at home as the opening fireworks displays plays out through the arena. The announcers get word that someone special has just entered the arena. We get a camera backstage to the arena entrance as USPW Owner Sam Strong enters the building. The crowd explode at the sight of the legendary Strong. The announcers speculate over what Sam Strong could be doing here tonight.

(B+)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/SamoanMachine.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/AndreJones_alt.jpg

-Toa vs. Andre Jones-

 

 

We start off our PPV with a non-title match between two distinctly different competitors. Toa comes down to the ring and enters the ropes with a no non-sense approach while 'Tha Baddest' Andre Jones showboats down to the ring and yells at those smartass fans who chant 'Tha saddest' his way.

 

The bell rings and Toa explodes with a clothesline that nearly takes Jones out of his boots. Toa picks him up and drags him into the corner barraging him with a series of kicks to the gut. Jones slumps into the corner and Toa runs across the ring and builds up a head of steam before scraping his boot across Jones face. The match continues with Toa in control for a few minutes until 'Tha Baddest' can figure out the plate # of the truck that hit him. He then pokes that truck in the eye. Jones takes advantage of his cheap ploy immediately rolling The Samoan Warrior up and grabbing onto the ropes for leverage. The ref counts,

 

 

1

 

.

.

.

 

2

 

.

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

 

And Toa gets his shoulder up at the last moment. Jones is furious and argues that the ref counted slow because he's intimidated by 'Tha Baddest.' Toa rolls back up to his feet, eyes still not focused. Jones gets to work on Toa quickly giving him a few punches to the head and a few chops before planting him with a DDT. Jones continues to beat on Toa while he's down and then sets up for a Blast From The Past (Fame-asser). Jones waits for The Samoan Warrior to get up and then goes for it. Toa straightens himself upright and Jones misses it going stumbling forward. Toa grabs Jones and locks him into The Unbreakable Sleeper. Jones holds out as long as he can, but taps out after just a few seconds.

 

Winner: Toa in 11:53

Rating (D)

 

 

-We go backstage to the arena entrance once more where Sheik Mustafa is pacing back and forth in front of the door. T-Rex is standing by with him. Mustafa is clearly worried and screaming to Rex wondering aloud about where Baine is. Mustafa looks like he's losing his mind not knowing where Baine is or why Sneer helped him with the fireball incident on Wednesday night. Then his answer walks right through the door. Shane Sneer walks through accompanied by Baine, Jumbo Jackson, Anger and The Towers of Power.

 

Sneer glances over and notices Mustafa. A grin creeps onto Sneers face before he tells Mustafa, "I told you Sheiky, Sneer Corp gets what Sneer Corp wants." Sneer and Corp. walk on ignoring Mustafa.

 

The Sheik is furious as he stomps up and down screaming obscenities Sneers way and appears to be trying to pull his hair out through his headdress.

(C-)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/DavisWayneNewton_alt2.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/CameronVessey_alt2.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FreddieDatsun.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/DesDavids-1.jpg

-USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©-

 

 

It may take the crowd some time to give a damn about The Hotshots, but this was definitely a good way to start. The match turned out to be a surprisingly even back and forth affair between these two teams which surprised The People's Team. Though with names like Rip Chord and The Vessey Brothers responsible for training the youngsters it shouldn't come as much of a surprise.

 

The Hotshots used every dirty trick in the book as they took charge of this match wearing down Datsun and Davids. I'd also say it's worth noting that Vessey went through Datsun's jacket pockets seemingly looking for his wallet during the match. In the end though The experience of The People's Team pulled through as Datsun was able to hit the Patriot Press on Vessey, 1...2....3.

 

Winners: The Peoples Team in 8:42

Rating (D)

 

 

-Our cameraman is backstage in the locker room of Nicky Champion who has Alicia Strong with him for company. Champion is getting ready for his match as he tapes up his wrists and pulls his pads on. Strong seems to be getting ready for her own match as well.

 

 

Alicia: "I know you won't need it Nicky, but good luck out there against Valentine."

Champion: "Of course I don't need luck, but I'm glad you're wishing it on me anyway."

Alicia: "Now don't get c0cky on me, he's going to cheat like heck to try to beat you."

Champion: "But he won't. Just like Bryden isn't going to beat you tonight."

Alicia: "I can't wait to put her in her place."

 

Champion: "And I know you will."

 

Champion stands up and walks over to Alicia. He places his hand on her shoulder as she turns toward him, looking him in the eyes.

 

Champion: "Then we can go out and celebrate. Just you, me, and my shiny new gold belt."

Alicia: "I'd like that."

 

The two just look into each others eyes for a moment, both silent, a grin on both their faces. And then...

 

 

"Big night tonight brother!" Sam yells as he barges into Champions locker room. Champion and Alicia gasp as Strong walks in, a look of terror engulfing them, not too dissimilar to that of a child whose parent walks in on them 'discovering the joys of puberty.' Champion and Alicia quickly get their distances from each other.

 

Champion: "Sam, hey. I didn't know you were here."

Sam: "Well brother, you would if you had been watching the show. Guess you were too busy focusing on your match tonight. Good boy, just like I taught you."

Champion: "Yup, just been focusing on that."

Sam: "What are you doing here, Muffin? Ah, what does it matter? It's like a family reunion brother. I just came down to the arena tonight to wish you two luck out there in your matches. This one's a big one for you Nicky, you're gonna win your first National Championship tonight. Then you're on your way right up to the World Championship. I'm proud of you brother. And my little Muffin, you can finally prove to that narcissistic egomaniac that she isn't queen of anything around here. Shut her up tonight Muffin."

Champion: "Yes, sir. Will do."

Alicia: "Thank you daddy."

 

Sam: "And when you two win I'm taking us all out to the steak house. My treat."

 

Alicia and Nicky exchange a glance momentarily as Sam rambles on about their dinner plans tonight.

 

Alicia: "Sounds... great, daddy."

 

Sam: "Great. Well, I'll let you two get back to getting ready. I have a few things to take care of, but I'll be watching both of your matches. Good luck out there."

 

Sam Strong leaves the two to themselves again. They both let out a deep sigh of relief and actually have a bit of a laugh once they're sure Sam is far enough away from the door.

(C+)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/SuzanneBrazzle1.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/RavenNightfall_alt2.jpg

-USPW Womens Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson ©-

 

 

This was an interesting match to say the least. Before the bell rang Brazzles just stood there staring into space with her head slightly c0cked to the right. As soon as the bell rang though Brazzles stopped smiling and immediately started a viscous assault on the champion. A few punches right to the face before Robinson even knew what had hit her took her to her knees. Brazzles continued by clubbing at the bandaged ear that she had bitten just days prior. The match continued as Brazzles beat violently on the champion, ripping the bandage off her ear and reopening the wound.

 

Robinson didn't seem like she stood a chance against Brazzles as she was laid throat first across the middle rope and choked with Brazzles knee. The ref counted to 5, Brazzles getting off at 4 and then going right back to choking doing this twice more. The third time Raven was prepared as she turned around and tossed Brazzles out of the ring. She caught her breath as the challenger fell to the floor.

 

Brazzles scrambles back into the ring and heads straight at Robinson, but she's prepared catching her with a small package. The ref counts,

 

1

 

.

.

.

 

2

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

And Brazzles kicks out. Seemingly infuriated Brazzles picks Robinson up and prepares to deliver a DDT, but the champ counters and flips her over with a Northern Lights suplex bridging into a pin, 1.....2.... and Brazzles gets her shoulder up.

 

Brazzles gets back to her feet and this time waits for her opponent setting her up for The Miracle Connection (Super kick). Robinson makes her way to her feet and Brazzles attempts it. Raven catches her foot and then sweeps the other leg out from under her. She grabs it and turns her over setting her up in a Night Crawler (Lion tamer). Brazzles screams in pain and crawls desperately toward the ropes. Robinson tries to keep her away by pulling her back to the center of the ring. Brazzles raises her hand looking as though she's going to tap.

 

She slams her hand down onto the mat and then pulls hard knocking Robinson off balance and allowing her to crawl to the ropes for a break. Robinson and Brazzles get back to their feet and go at each other, Robinson getting the better of Brazzles this time. Robinson is able to knock the challenger down multiple times and then goes for a Night Faller (Reverse DDT), but Brazzles fights out of it spinning around and then grabbing her legs out from under her. Brazzles looks like she's trying to apply the Night Crawler to the champ now as she tries to roll her over. Robinson makes it to the ropes to get the break.

 

That doesn't stop Brazzles from turning her over and locking it in anyways. The ref begins to count to 5, trying to pull Brazzles off. At 4 Brazzles drops the hold and gets in the refs face. It proves costly though as Robinson catches her from behind with a Night Faller. She makes the pin,

 

1

 

.

.

.

 

 

2

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

3. The champion retains!

 

 

Winner: Raven Robinson in 13:18

Rating (C-)

 

 

-The camera is zoomed in backstage on the door of Commissioner Doom as knocking can be heard.

 

Doom: "Go away! I'm busy!"

 

The door opens and into the room walks Sam Strong. Strong doesn't look too pleased as he enters and takes a look at Doom who seems to be staring at the wall.

 

 

Strong: "What the heck are you doing in here brother?"

Doom: "Conflabit, can't you see this here wall challenged me to a staring contest? Now I ain't gonna let no wall get no satisfaction outta calling me a chicken and let it get away with it."

Strong: "What?"

Doom: "Don't try and play dumb with me, I bet you're in cahoots with this here wall. You ain't gonna trick me again wall!"

 

 

Strong: "I ain't here about a wall brother-"

Doom: "Bet that's what the danged wall told you to say. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twenty times, Shame on Reagan."

Strong: "I'm here about your job performance, brother. Do you know how many complaints I've gotten about you since I gave you this job?"

Doom: "Conflabbed wall's trying to frame me again."

Strong: "The wall isn't trying to frame you brother, it's just a wall."

Doom: "That's just what it wants you to think, then when you lower your guard it steals your lucky charms."

Strong: "Right. Doom, I hate to do this, but you're fired."

 

 

Doom: "Dang wall put you up to this, didn't it?"

Strong: "Yeah, it's the wall that made me do it brother."

Doom: "Conflabit, I knew it. I forgive you Sam, it ain't your fault your mind ain't as strong as mine."

 

 

Strong whistles and security guards come into the room. They pick Doom up and escort him out.

 

 

Doom: "I haven't blinked wall! You haven't won!"

(C+)

 

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/NickyChampion_alt-1.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/PeterValentine.jpg

-USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine ©-

 

 

This was a contest of new school vs old school as Nicky Champion took on Peter Valentine. Valentine knew his title was on the line and took no chances as he employed the cowardly technique of hit & run tactics. The bell rang to begin the match and as Champion went to lock up with Valentine, he slid out of the ring going for a brisk walk on the outside as the ref started to count. Nicky tried to go after him, but the ref stopped him from. Valentine slid back into the ring long enough to break the count and went right back to strolling around.

 

Champion was growing furious and shoved the ref out of his way. He got out of the ring and chased Valentine around it. After a whole lap of chasing Valentine slid back into the ring, Champion right behind him and then slid back out. Champion followed as Valentine rounded a corner and stopped. He kicked the steel steps right in front of Champion tripping him up. Valentine wasted no time and was stomping away at him. He threw Nicky back into the ring and followed taking advantage of his cheap tactic.

 

From here Valentine kept control of the match with other various cheap tactics such as a poke in the eye or a knee to the family jewels. Valentine seemed to have the youngster done for as he set him up for the Heart Breaker (Big shoulder breaker). Valentine went to drive Champion down, but he slipped out the back. Champion sprang off the ropes and caught Valentine with a clothesline to the back of the neck.

 

Champion gestured to the crowd pumping his fist signaling that he was going to finish this. He positioned himself on the middle rope and laid in wait for Valentine. Once he was up Champion dropped down and caught him with a Hawkeye Hammer (Middle rope hammer drop). Nicky made the pin,

 

 

1

.

.

.

 

2

.

.

.

 

3. Nicky Champion is the new National Champion!

 

Winner and NEW Champion: Nicky Champion in 9:21

Rating (D+)

 

 

-Backstage in the interview area Seduction is with Alicia Strong, ready to interview her before her match with Belle Bryden.

 

 

Seduction: "I'm here with Alicia Strong as she prepares to take on Belle Bryden tonight. Now Belle has had your number in the past Alicia and she seems intent on beating you again tonight. What are you thinking as you go into this match tonight?"

Alicia: "Well Seduction, I'm thinking that-"

 

 

"Scooby-Dooby-Dooooo!"

 

 

Both Alicia and Seduction stop and look in confusion as Brazzles screams out a line straight from a cartoon. She seems to be playing the part too as she's squatted down on all fours. Alicia then looks up as she sees who's with her.

 

 

"You're thinking that you'll never beat me, and you'd be right Princess." Bryden says as she enters the scene. She pats Brazzles on the head, "Good moron. Have a Scooby Snack." She tosses a frozen Hot Pocket on the ground for her. Bryden approaches Alicia.

 

 

Alicia: "What are you doing here Belle?"

Bryden: "My ears were ringing. I thought you might be talking about me."

Alicia: "I was just about to in fact."

Bryden: "Nothing I'm sure you wouldn't mind saying to my face."

Alicia: "I'd love to tell you what I think of you to your face."

 

 

"Ruh-roh!" Brazzles shouts out, interrupting the confrontation. "Shut up and eat your damn Scooby Snack!" Bryden yells at her. Brazzles goes back to gnawing on the frozen Hot Pocket.

 

 

Alicia: "Can't even be nice to your friends, can you?"

Bryden: "She isn't my friend, she just won't stop following me around."

Alicia: "So what, she isn't 'worthy' of being your friend?"

 

 

Bryden looks down at Brazzles still gnawing away at the frozen Hot Pocket.

 

 

Bryden: "No, no she isn't. Why don't you be her friend Princess? Unless of course you're all talk."

 

 

Alicia bends down to put her hand on Brazzles shoulder when she freaks out and jumps up into Brydens arms, teeth chattering as if she's afraid. Or seen a ghost. Or someone in a ghost costume.

 

 

Alicia: "Guess she likes you more."

 

 

"Get off of me!" Bryden exclaims to Brazzles before dropping her flat on her ass. Brazzles then hugs the leg of Bryden who tries to shake her off. Alicia can't help but laugh at the misfortune of her foe. "You think this is funny, huh? Well, we'll see how much you're laughing after our match Princess!" Bryden walks off to prepare for her match dragging Brazzles on her foot the whole way.

(C+)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/AliciaStrong_alt1.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/BelleBryden_alt5.jpg

-Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden-

 

 

Holy manatees on fire Batman, this match was fan-frickin-tastic! And the two of them have bad chemistry together.

 

Both the competitors make their way down to the ring and take their respective corners. The announcers gets into the ring and announces the two of them, giving this match much more of a big fight feel. The crowd cheer on Alicia as she's introduced and boo Bryden as she is. Bryden though snatches the mic from the announcer after her introduction to correct him, "That's 'The Beautiful' Belle Bryden. Get it right next time." She shooed the announcer out of the ring and then waited for the bell.

 

Once the bell rang this match was on, and I mean on. The two jumped out of their corners and just started pummeling away at each other, Alicia getting the better of the exchange and gaining control over Bryden. She began to wear her rival down with various holds, but Bryden wasn't about to let Alicia have the satisfaction of controlling this match. She pulled a small mirror out of her pocket and as Strong tried to pull her up blew the make-up dust into her face. Strong was blinded, maybe the ref too as he didn't see anything. Bryden took Strong down with a roundhouse straight to the head.

 

Bryden then used the mirror to check her face. She put it back in her pocket and made the cover, 1....2... Strong gets her shoulder up. Bryden gets up and goes after Strongs knees stomping away at them and slamming them down onto the mat wearing her down for a Blonde Ambition (Figure 4). Bryden continued the onslaught on Strongs knees going through every move she knows to hurt the knees, before finally going for the Blonde Ambition. She grabs Strongs leg twisting it and then drops down to lock the other leg in place successfully applying the hold.

 

Strong screams in pain as her knees have been worn down by Bryden. Strong tries pulling herself towards the ropes, but Belle just pulls her back into the center of the ring. Strong, after trying to crawl to the ropes twice more eventually decides to try to roll her over. She rocks from side to side, Bryden trying to counter it until... Strong rolls them over, Belle now screaming in pain. She crawls to the ropes and the hold is broken.

 

Both women now head to their feet. Bryden gets up just fine, but Strong has trouble hobbling back up. Belle kicks at the knees of Strong to send her back down. Bryden waits for Strong to stand again before she goes for a Dish of The Day (Roundhouse to the back of the head). She looks for it, but Strong ducks under it. She pushes Bryden forward into the ropes. Alicia runs at her looking to nail the Strong Arm Tactic (Running elbow), but Bryden stops herself at the ropes and moves out of the way.

 

Bryden looks to take advantage of Strong again and goes for a right, but Strong blocks it and delivers her own. Bryden goes for it again, but Strong blocks it again delivering another one of her own. Then she hits her with another, and another before taking Bryden off her feet with a strong knife edge chop. Bryden gets back to her feet and is sent back down with a running forearm. Bryden gets back up and Strong sends her up in a suplex, sustaining it and holding Bryden in the air for a few seconds before dropping her back down.

 

Strong waits for her to get up again from across the ring smacking her elbow, signaling for another Strong Arm Tactic. Bryden gets up and gets hit with it. She goes down and Strong makes the cover,

 

 

1

 

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.

.

 

 

2

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

 

3.

 

 

Winner: Alicia Strong in 12:39

Rating (B-) (!!!)

 

 

(----End of Part 1----)

<hr> OOC: Part 2 will be up tomorrow, Tuesday, June 15, 2010. Choke on that non-believers.

Nice to see the humor is still in place, although i missed seeing the Hotshots with their usual banter.

Don't worry, that's in part 2.

[eayragt]

OOC: Part 2 will be up tomorrow.

 

Yeah, yeah, whatever .

 

Just very jealous of that B- Women's match.

[Dragonmack]

Nice to see the humor is still in place, although i missed seeing the Hotshots with their usual banter. And remember eayragt, no matter what day it is, there is always a tomorrow after it. So he is correct in saying that he will post tomorrow ( although which tomorrow is up in the air.... )

[Astil]

Herp Derp

[xopher316]

"Ruh-roh!" Brazzles shouts out, interrupting the confrontation. "Shut up and eat your damn Scooby Snack!" Bryden yells at her. Brazzles goes back to gnawing on the frozen Hot Pocket.

 

That line had me in tears!

 

P.S.

That is a nice poster.

[J Silver]

USPW: Where it's Tuesday.

 

Yeah, that's right. On with the rest of the show...

<hr>

 

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d105/jsilver536/Diary/FDPromo.jpg

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FrozenDreams.jpg

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USPW Frozen Dreams! (Part 2)

Saturday, Week 4, January 2010

Held at The Louisianna Auditorium

Att. 10,000

 

 

 

Main Show (Cont'd)

 

 

-We go once again backstage to our interview area as Seduction stands by with Chris Caulfield.

 

 

Seduction: "Now Chris, tonight you're going to be taking on Bruce The Giant for the #1 Contendership to the World Championship and in a hardcore match of all things."

Caulfield: "Hardcore by my request."

Seduction: "What could possibly be going through your mind right now?"

 

 

Caulfield: "Well Seduction, once upon a time I was part of this little promotion called Danger and Violence Extreme."

 

 

Caulfield pauses as the crowd begin a 'DaVE' chant, smiling to himself as they continue on.

 

 

Caulfield: "Now back in Danger and Violence Extreme we used to put on matches with no rules. Any weapon, any hold, any cheap tactic it was all fair game. This is my kind of environment and tonight Bruce gets to learn just why they call me 'The Hardcore American.' I won our last match Bruce and I plan on making it two in a row tonight before I go on to win the World Championship."

 

 

Caulfield stops as he hears a loud creaking sound. He turns around as the set starts to fall down. He pushes Seduction out of the way as the large TV and the steel it's holding onto fall on top of him. Caulfield goes down as we see what caused the set to fall, Bruce The Giant. Bruce seems to have a ref with him who calls for the bell to start this match.

(B)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/ChrisCaulfield_alt1.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/BrucetheGiant.jpg

-Hardcore #1 Contenders Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant-

 

 

Bruce looks down on Caulfield as he walks over the toppled set and stands over him, crushing him under the steel. The Giant picks up the steel and pulls Caulfield out before he makes the pin,

 

1

 

.

.

.

 

2

 

.

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

 

And Caulfield gets his shoulder up just before the three. Bruce stands up pulling Caulfield up with him by the hair, The Hardcore American coughing up blood. Bruce drags him by the hair down the hall, Caulfield follows not wanting his hair ripped from his head. The Giant tosses him back first into a wall, Caulfield leaving a nice-sized dent in it. Bruce dominates this match as he pulls Caulfield with him and tosses him around into various objects. Bruce drags the Hardcore American all the way out to the ring and tosses him down the steel ramp. The Giant continues to dominate his smaller opponent now using what weapons he finds under the ring.

 

 

Bruce is ready to finish Caulfield off with a Giant Chokeslam. He grabs him by the throat and then receives a kick to the groin from Caulfield. Bruce keels over as Caulfield drops down onto his knees and crawls out of the ring. He looks under the ring and finds weapons. From here Caulfield just assaults the Giant with any weapon he can find until said weapon breaks or gets too bent out of shape. This continues for a few moments, Bruce trying to fight back. Caulfield then decides to try something special. He grabs a chair and climbs the turnbuckles.

 

 

Caulfield perches on the top rope with a chair in one hand and the other balancing him. Bruce falls onto the ropes to unbalance Caulfield who falls down onto the top turnbuckle dropping his chair. Bruce gets up and walks over. He grabs Caulfield by the throat and steps over the top rope positioning himself on the apron. He jumps off bringing Caulfield with him and driving him down onto the announcers table, it breaking as Caulfield is slammed through it. The Giant clears off some debris from on top of Caulfield and makes the pin,

 

 

1

.

.

.

 

2

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

3.

 

 

Winner: Bruce The Giant in 8:33

Rating (C-)

 

 

-We now catch up once more with Belle Bryden who's walking down the halls clearly in a bad mood. Not helping is probably her ... something, Brazzles who's sniffing out clues on all fours next to her. "Ruh roh." Brazzles lets out. "Ruh roh what, you moron?" Bryden then listens as she hears something not too far from them.

 

 

"You lost! You freakin' morons lost to those two! What the hell did I tell you when I let you two join me?"

"You didn't tell us much."

"Yeah, you mostly just threatened and gestured wildly."

 

 

Bryden gets closer and hides behind a stack of crates while Devine, Wayne and Vessey work out their problem. "Scooby Dooby Dooo-" Brazzles tries to howl before Bryden stuffs another frozen Hot Pocket in her mouth. Or maybe it's the same one as before, who's to say really? "Shut up you. Understand?" Brazzles just chews blissfully on her Scooby Snack.

 

 

DD: "So, anyone wanna tell me why I put up with you guys?"

Vessey: "Because you love us?"

DD: "Yeah, let's try using facts this time."

Vessey: "Because we're the best you could do on such short notice?"

DD: "Yeah, that's probably it. And would you mind explaining to me why you stopped as you were about to get Datsun in a Vessey Driver to look through his pockets?"

 

 

Vessey: "Yeah, my shark's kinda coming down hard on me."

DD: "Your shark?"

Vessey: "Yeah, he's all like 'I want my money.' and I'm all like 'Well, I don't have it.' And he's like 'Well, you better get it.' and then I'm like 'Well, I'm trying.' and then he's all like 'Well, you better try harder. Or else.' and I'm like 'Or else what?' and then-"

DD: "Shut up! I get it. You borrowed too much money, gambled it away and now someone's gonna break your kneecaps if you don't have it."

Vessey: "Actually he said he was going to break my shins."

DD: "Whatever. Do you know what you should do about that?"

Vessey: "Ooo, I know this one. It's like my Uncle Bryan always does when he pisses off Jehovahs Witnesses, nuns, KKK members, girl scouts and/or postal workers. The 3 P's."

Wayne: "3 P's?"

Vessey: "Yup, purchase a piece, pray and practice your aim."

 

 

Wayne: "Remind me not knock on your Uncle Bryans door early in the morning."

Vessey: "Good luck getting to the door. Those dogs were weened off kibble and onto human flesh. He calls them zombie-weilers."

Wayne: "That's a little disturbing."

 

 

DD: "You two morons done yet?"

Vessey: "Actually I do have a delightfully hilarious story about a zombie-weiler, a girl scout and a misplaced shotgun."

DD: "I don't want to hear it."

Vessey: "You sure?"

DD: "Yeah, pretty sure."

Vessey: "Are you absolutely sure, because this story has a lot of hatred in it and you seem like a hateful kind of guy."

 

 

DD: "Shut up about the damn dogs already. Do you two actually wonder why you're such losers? It's because you don't take anything seriously. You could've had the Tag Team Championships, but you were more worried about paying back your shark. And your solution for your shark? Shoot him. You know what you should do? Stop gambling!"

Vessey: "Hey, I have a legitimate reason for gambling!"

Wayne: "Addiction isn't a legit reason."

Vessey: "I have a reason for gambling!"

 

 

DD: "Maybe if you two were addicted to winning we'd have something to celebrate for a change. Divinity doesn't need losers, it needs winners. Either start winning or I'll replace you. Understood?"

 

 

Devine walks off for his match now as we join Bryden and Brazzles again behind the crate. Bryden smiles deviously as she states "I have an idea." "Ruh roh." Brazzles once more says. Bryden just stuffs the 'Scooby Snack' back into her mouth like a pacifier in the mouth of a baby. "Why do I even bother talking to you? It's like talking to a wall."

 

 

And just as Bryden says that, "You'll never make me blink, wall! You'll never get me!" Shouts out Corporal Doom as he runs down the hallway, two security guards hot in pursuit.

(D+)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/JimForce.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/Devine_alt2.jpg

-Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine-

 

 

I suppose this could be described as your average match between a middle-aged psychotic man and a young up-and-comer. Then again I have no idea what that would look like. This match however was surprisingly good, especially considering it involved Force.

 

 

The psychotic power and paint powerhouse started this match off by taking some wild swings at Devine. Devine was caught off guard and Force took control of the match. He kept control as well wearing Devine down with a barrage of power moves, all three that he knows in fact. Devine, to his credit was able to take control of this match back with a simple poke to the eyes. Force began swinging wildly in any direction and Devine took him down with a dropkick to the knees. Devine took control of the match from here taking Force apart with a large array of attacks and a few cheap shots as well.

 

 

Devine looks to end it now setting up Force for a Devine Dream Drop (RKO/Cutter). He goes for it and Force shoves him off sending Devine back first onto the canvas. He gets up and walks right into a FOOOOOOOOORCE~! Punch. HE goes down and gets back up just to be on the receiving end of another FOOOOOORCE~! Punch and then once more for a third. Force shakes the ropes wildly and hoists Devine up into the air keeping him suspended there for a few moments before going for the Full Force (Jackhammer) Force staggers around a bit before looking to plant Devine into the canvas. He goes for it, but someone holds onto his leg and Force lets Devine go. Devine wastes no time and hits the Devine Dream Drop and makes the cover,

 

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3. Devine picks up the victory. He then looks outside to see who helped him to find Belle Bryden. Devine looks at her cautiously unsure of what she wants.

 

 

Winner: Darryl Devine in 10:59

Rating (C)

 

 

-We go again backstage to what's left of our interview area. Seduction is there with Sneer Corp., Sneer, Anger, Muscles, Rushmore, Jackson and now Baine.

 

 

Seduction: "I'm joined now by Shane Sneer and his Sneer Corp. Welcome Shane."

Sneer: "That's Mr. Sneer, dear. Please be a little more respectful, especially in my presence."

Seduction: "Sorry, Mr. Sneer welcome."

 

 

Sneer: "Thank you doll, I can take this interview from here. I asked for this time so that I could properly introduce someone to the Sneer Corp. family, our newest member Baine. Now Baine here is a winner and I hope that the rest of my Sneer Corp. family will be able to pick up on some of that little trait from him. Now Baine is going to bring our family gold tonight and he's going to do it by simply crushing Enygma, a feat no one else has been able to do up to this point. Baine is going to lead Sneer Corp. into a prosperous new future."

 

 

Sneer is cut off as Jumbo Jackson is seen in the background picking up the sets TV and smashing it against a wall in anger.

 

 

Jackson: "You saying I'm not good enough Sneer!?"

Sneer: "I'm not saying you're not good enough Jumbo, I'm just going by what I've seen and winning hasn't been seen nearly enough."

 

 

Jackson grabs Sneer by the throat and screams "So you think I'm a loser!?" Sneer tries to gurgle something out, but has no luck. Then Jackson lets go as he finds a hand squeezing his own throat, Baines. Baine lifts Jackson up with one hand and slams him down onto the pile of rubble that was once the interview set. The Demon then looks up and scans the area looking at the rest of Sneer Corp., all taking a collective step backwards. Sneer massages his throat as he prepares to speak again.

 

 

Sneer: "You see that? That is pure domination and until you learn to dominate your opponents as easily as Baine just did, he's the only one of you that matters. Learn from his example and don't disappoint me. If you do..." Sneer looks down at the body of Jumbo Jackson sprawled out on the floor unconscious.

 

 

"Now as for Enygma, you can make this real easy on yourself and just lie down, let Baine have the pin and the title and I promise on my mothers grave that Baine won't hurt you tonight. Though if your pride gets in the way of your logic or reason and you want to try avenging your burnt little whats-her-name you'll be joining her in the hospital. Baine won't stop until you're hanging onto your life by the skin of your teeth and who's to say he'll stop there. Make it easy on yourself Enygma, just give up the belt, it's not worth it. But If you decide that title's more important than your life then so be it, you won't walk out of here with either one."

(B-)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/Liberty.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/T-Rex_alt1.jpg

-James Justice vs. T-Rex w/ Mustafa-

 

 

A decent match here as T-Rex took on James Justice. Rex went into the match with something to prove to Mustafa, that he deserves as much of his attention as Baine. Not that Mustafa has much of a choice now. The match started with Rex taking control of the smaller Justice. He wailed on him with heavy strikes and a few power moves before going for his rarely used finisher, The Extinction (Spinning Argentine backbreaker drop). He gets Justice up onto his shoulders, but Justice begins to squirm. Rex tries to hold him in place, but can't. Justice slips out back.

 

 

He grabs Rex by the shoulder and gets him to turn around nailing him with a Justice Big Left Punch right to the face. Justice then rocks him with a few left jabs before nailing another Justice Big Left that takes Rex off his feet. Justice springs off the ropes to gain a bit of momentum and then drops down onto Rex with a splash. He covers him, 1...2.. Rex tosses him off. The Jurassic Power makes his way back to his feet and is caught with a Liberation Slam (Uranage/Rock Bottom). Justice makes the cover,

 

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Winner: James Justice in 9:04

Rating (C-)

 

 

-Rex crawls over to where Mustafa is to plead with his manager, but Mustafa has had enough and storms off leaving Rex to himself. Rex can't seem to believe Mustafa is abandoning him.

 

 

Justice offers Rex his hand to help him to his feet, which Rex refuses. He gets up on his own and then leaves the ring as Justice continues celebrating his win.

(C+)

 

 

-The cameraman seems lost in some dark corridor backstage as we join him. However it seems he knew where he was going after all as Enygma stops him and begins to speak.

 

 

Enygma: "Baine, are you still human or are you truly the Demon you claim to be? Would any human have it in them to burn an innocent woman? Did you think It would scare me off to witness your lack of humanity? Did you think I would run? Did you think I would give up? Did you not expect me to light a fire of hatred inside my soul aimed straight at you Demon?

 

 

The question of how for you will go is no question, but the question does remain of what will I do to you in retribution? I care not for what I have to put my body through as is physical pain not only temporary? Do you think you can defeat me Demon? Do you think I'll just give up my belt and let you have everything you want? Do you think a Championship and a fallen friend are not worth fighting for?

 

 

Will you realize that I will not give to my last breath?"

(B+)

 

 

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/DemonBaine.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/USPW/USPWVS.pnghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/Enygma.jpg

-USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma ©-

 

 

Baine makes his way down to the ring first accompanied by his new manager Shane Sneer. Baine doesn't make it down though before Enygma assaults him on the entrance ramp. Baine tumbles down to the bottom as Enygma follows. He stomps away at the Demon. Enygma looks like he's going to take advantage of the bell not yet ringing as he looks under the ring for something. It looks like he found what he was looking for as he pulls a sledgehammer out from under the ring. He lifts it up to take a swing at Baine, who's trying to get to his feet when he looks up at the entranceway where the members of Sneer Corp. are making their way down to Enygma. He drops the sledgehammer and tosses Baine into the ring.

 

 

He follows him in and the bell rings to officially start this match. Enygma continues to stomp away at Baine, the normally emotionless Enygma showing a streak of anger. He then focuses his attacks on the ankle of the Demon trying to wear him down for the Enygma Variation (Scissored ankle lock). Once he feels Baine is worn out enough he locks in the Enygma Variation. He pulls on the ankle as if he's trying to snap it. Baine uses his hands to push himself up and crawls over to the ropes. He grabs onto the middle rope to get the break, but Enygma won't let go.

 

 

The Demon uses the ropes to pull himself back to one foot, Enygma still holding onto the other. Baine swings his foot into the bottom turnbuckle striking Enygma's back into it with enough force to get him to let go of the hold. The Demon limps over and grabs Enygma by the throat pulling him to his feet by it. He then raises him up by the throat dangling him there as the ref counts to 5. Baine drops him back down to his feet by 4 and then drapes him over his shoulders dropping him down with a Samoan Drop, all his weight landing on top of Enygma.

 

 

Baine takes control of the match from here and picks apart Enygma breaking his body piece by piece with a large variety of power moves. Sneer finally instructs him to put Enygma away. Baine raises him up by the throat and with both hands on it he lifts Enygma up and drills him down onto the canvas with a Hades Bomb. He makes the cover,

 

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And Enygma gets his shoulder up at the last moment. Baine grabs him with both hands on the throat and pulls him back up looking for another Hades Bomb. He picks him up, but Enygma drives both feet into The Demons chest and repels himself backwards falling to the canvas and rolling away. Enygma charges at Baine and hits him with a thrust kick right on the chin, but the Demon looks like he barely felt a thing. He goes for another thrust kick with much the same result. Baine roars at Enygma daring him to try it once more. Enygma charges in once again and this time nails Baine with an Enygmagiri Kick (Standing Enziguri) which took the Demon off his feet. Enygma quickly went for the cover,

 

 

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And Baine kicks out of it. Enygma actually looks surprised, but he doesn't waste time. He stomps on Baines ankle a few times and then flips him over locking in the Enygma Variation once more. Baine looks like he's hurt as he tries to drag Enygma with him over to the ropes. Sneer gets up on the apron and distracts the ref as Jumbo Jackson slides into the ring and stomps on the gut of Enygma getting him to release the hold. He then springs off the ropes and drops down onto Enygma with a Jumbo Splash. Jackson gets out of the ring and Sneer hops down off the apron.

 

 

Baine gets back to his feet and picks Enygma up by his mask. Baine prepares to deliver one more Hades Bomb to Enygma when Sheik Mustafa runs down to the ring . Mustafa tries to slide into the ring, but gets stuck as the ref tries to get rid of him. Baine drops Enygma and walks over to Mustafa. He shoves the ref out of the way and raises his foot to squash Mustafa under it, but he slides out just as the demons foot comes down. Baine turns his attention back into the ring as Enygma comes charging at him with an Engymagiri. He nails it and Baine goes down. He makes the pin,

 

 

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Winner: Enygma in 15:15

Rating (C+)

 

 

-Enygma is victorious over the Demon Baine with a little help from Sheik Mustafa. Enygma grabs his title and heads backstage without celebrating his victory in the ring. In the ring Baine gets back to his feet as he looks at Mustafa, the man who just cost him the World Championship. Mustafa gloats over Baines loss implying that he should've stayed with him. The gloating doesn't last long as Mustafa feels someone grab his shirt from behind. Sneer is back to his feet and throws Mustafa to the sharks.

 

 

Mustafa backs up away from Sneer and finds Baine staring down at him. Mustafa begs the Demon for forgiveness and prays for safety. It does him no good as Baine grabs his head and pulls it back grabbing his throat. He pulls him up by it and then drives him back down to the canvas with a chokeslam. Sneer joins Baine in the ring and gets in a few cheap kicks to the gut. Sneer tells Baine not to stop, to make sure people know what he can do to them. He then points at the entrance stage. Baine grabs Mustafa and tosses him out of the ring and drags him up the ramp by the cuff of his shirt choking him with it.

 

 

As they reach to stage Baine grabs Mustafa by the throat and walks him to the far left of the stage right to the very corner. Baine grabs Mustafa with both hands on his throat and lifts him up for the Hades Bomb. Baine tosses him full thrust 10 feet down off the stage and onto concrete floor below. Mustafa is sprawled out like a chalk outline as Sneer congratulates Baine, smiling at his destruction. EMT's rush to the scene to try to help Mustafa and the announcers speculate that his managing days may be over, possibly even his days of walking.

(C)

 

 

-Our cameras follow Enygma as he walks backstage. He seems to be walking the darker hallways of the arena back to wherever he's set up camp. A creepy environment this part of the arena is to say the least with lights flickering on and off constantly. Enygma walks down a dark corridor as the lights flicker on and off. He stops as he looks into a dark crevice. The cameraman looks in from behind Enygmas shoulder as he stares it down, the two white iris' staring straight back at him. The lights flicker on in the crevice for a moment showing the full form of the man. The dark mask with the design on the front leaves no doubt in Enygmas mind who the mysterious stranger staring at him is. The announcers believe they know as well, "Oh my god, is that... Acid?" "I believe it is."

 

 

He cuts his thumb slowly across his throat making sure Enygma sees the gesture as the lights flicker constantly. As they flicker off once more and as then back to life the piercing white eyes are no longer staring at Enygma, gone into the darkness.

(B)

 

 

Final Rating (C+)

Buy Rate (0.61)

-Was hoping for more from the main event.

-But I do have a new best match.

-Unfortunately it was just the dark match between Acid and Flash.

 

 

The Alzheimers Post Show Recap:

 

-Toa defeated Andre Jones (D)

-The People's Team defeated The Hotshots (D)

-Raven Robinson defeated Brazzles (C-)

-Nicky Champion defeated Peter Valentine to win the USPW National title (D+)

-Alicia Strong defeated Belle Bryden (B-)

-Bruce The Giant defeated Chris Caulfield (C-)

-Darryl Devine defeated Jim Force ©

-James Justice defeated T-Rex (C-)

-Enygma defeated Baine (C+)

[Dragonmack]

(USPWs new best match ever, but you'll never know what it is Dark Match)

 

Unfortunately it was just the dark match between Acid and Flash

 

Yeah, the real problem with splitting everything up is contradicting yourself.

 

You say we will never know what it is, but then you spill the beans with an offhand comment.

 

But overall still very entertaining. Waiting on the Samoaphobia to crop up, but you got Brazzle talking like old school Bruce. Also shades of old school in the Divine-Hotshots dialogue, although without the previous trademark Devine Dream Dropping everyone involved. But I expect that will come later.

 

Great Job J-Silver, may your next post be before the month starts with a different number