USPW: Where Ages 68 and Older Still Won't Retire

GruntMark · March 10, 2010

-TV Championship Match- Anger vs. Toa ©

D rating.

-Des Davids vs. Cameron Vessey

D+ rating

-Freddie Datsun vs. Davey Wayne

D+ rating

-Nicky Champion vs. Bruce The Giant

C- rating

-Raven Robinson & Alicia Strong vs. Brazzles & Belle Bryden

C rating

-Chris Caulfield vs. Baine

C rating

J Silver · March 11, 2010

Ahhh, you're right, I should be able to get one or two this time! Hey, and where's Giant Redwood? He should be squashing someone.

He's in the middle of a gimmick change right now.

I was seriously expecting Biff to pull a 'smell ya later' as you left. Shame.

I'll make sure he gets it in next time.

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USPW American Wrestling

Wednesday, Week 3, January 2010

Held at Grissom Auditorium

Att. 2,000 (Sold-out)

Dark Matches

-(Bet you wish you knew what went on here Dark match) ©

-(Superdy-duper ultra top secret classified Dark Match) (C+)

Main Show

-We kick off the show as "The Hardcore American" Chris Caulfield makes his way out to the ring. Caulfield makes his way out to the ring through the fans as he normally does getting the crowd riled up. He gets into the ring and grabs a mic.

Caulfield: "Thank you, thank you. Now I'm out here because I've got something I just gotta say, and I want to make sure it gets said to everyone it has to be said to. Sneer, Mustafa, Bruce, everyone else on the roster who just doesn't like my guts I got something I want to make clear. You can hurt my body, you can break my bones, you can beat me to a bloody pulp, but none of you will ever break my spirit. Bruce, you have destroyed my body, I've spent countless nights in the hospital getting bandaged up or worried I had a concussion since this thing between us started in September.

Now I know I got my share of swings in at you, you've got the stitches to prove that after all. I say that right now it's 1 to 1 between us and I've had enough of this. At Frozen Dreams! I want to put this feud between us to an end and let the winner actually get on to getting their World Championship Match. So here's what I propose Bruce, one final match between us, no more rematches, winner claims their contendership at the next PPV. But that ain't all, I got one more stipulation, I want this to be decisive, nobodies getting DQed this time and I want to hurt you. I want it to be a hardcore match."

The fans cheer on the notion.

"So what do you say Giant? You enough of a man to take me on in a hardcore match?"

Caulfield stands in the ring and waits for Bruce to come out and accept his challenge. Entrance music hits the speakers, but it isn't Bruce's. Sheik Mustafa makes his way out onto the entrance stage. Mustafa is alone and Caulfield looks over his shoulders expecting an attack any moment.

Caulfield: "You look a lot older than the last time I saw you Bruce. Did you shrink?"

Mustafa: "Very funny Caulfield. No, I am not Bruce nor do I represent him."

Caulfield: "Which begs the question, just why the hell are you out here?"

Mustafa: "Because Chris, I want to let you know that I can accept only being able to break your bones."

And here comes the attack Caulfield was expecting. Caulfield looks over his shoulder just as Baine gets in the ring behind him. Caulfield charges into Baine with a flurry of wild punches. Baine just tosses The Hardcore American back. Caulfield charges in again, but Baine grabs him by the throat and lifts him up, dangling him in the air by his neck for a moment. Baine plants him into the mat with a Hades Bomb. Mustafa yells to Baine from the entrance way to finish him off. Baine picks him up by the throat and then drives him down into the canvas once more with another Hades Bomb.

Mustafa: "Enygma, this is what you have to look forward to at Frozen Dreams! Take a good look because you too will fall prey to my Demon. And Chris, should you somehow win your match against Bruce The Giant you have more of this to look forward to."

(B-, B)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: Invisible Motivation Co. We'll get the job done. We just don't feel like it right now. Get off our backs people.

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/DemonAnger.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/SamoanMachine.jpg
-USPW Television Championship Match- Anger vs. Toa ©-

Toa dominated Anger in this one. The 50-year old didn't stand much of a chance here as The Samoan Warrior's quick and powerful strikes barraged him from the start. Toa locked in an Unbreakable Sleeper and Anger tapped.

Winner: Toa in 5:46
Rating (D)

-Toa holds up his newly defended Television Championship as the music of the former champion, Andre Jones hits the mic. Jones comes out onto the stage with a mic in hand and calls out The Samoan Warrior.

Jones: "I hope you enjoy that title while you can toe, cuz I'm coming for it. I don't care how long it takes, you're gonna give me a rematch. You'll succumb to Tha Baddest, I'll beat you in that ring. I want my rematch."

Toa: "Granted. When would you like your rematch?"

Jones: "Oh, there's no use making up excuses why you... wait, did you say yes?"

Toa: "Yes."

Jones: "Seriously?"

Toa: "I'm a fighting champion Andre."

Jones: "Oh. Well then Tha Baddest is coming for you at Frozen Dreams!"

Toa: "Very well."

Jones: "Yeah, damn right very well. I can see you shaking at the idea of fighting Tha Baddest Andre Jones again. I'm gonna get that title back cuz there ain't no stoppin' Tha Baddest."

Toa: "Of course It's the Television Championship and only defended on television."

Jones: "Yeah, I know. Do I look stupid to you, of course I knew that. I'm gonna kick your ass at Frozen Dreams then I'm going to get my title back."

Toa: "May the best man win."

Jones: "I plan to."

(D)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: Fungus Sauce. It's catching on like the plague.

-Darryl Devine makes his way out to the ring alone. He grabs a mic and begins to speak.

DD: "Now there's a few people I'd like to address right now so I'll start with the simplest one of them, Jim Force. Jim, don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Now sure, I don't know exactly what the hell you were trying to say last week, but I do know this, I didn't much care for your tone. I'm sure you got what you wanted though because Doom just informed me I'll be taking you on at Frozen Dreams! I don't have a problem with that though Jimbo, you've had your hand in holding me back. I'm not the same whiny, young punk I was a few months ago begging for my opportunity. Now though it's clear to me, I'm going to take what I want and I don't care who gets in my way."

Devines monologue is cut off as one-half of he USPW Tag Team Champions, Freddie Datsun, makes his way down to the ring. He gets into the ring, Devine staring a hole in him and grabs a mic.

Datsun: "Your opportunity, your opportunity, I keep hearing it out of you Darryl. I keep hearing you talk about how you've been held back, how your opportunity keeps getting stolen from you. Well Darryl, frankly I don't much believe that. You know, once upon a time I really saw something in you, I thought you could be something. Now you're just full of hostility and hatred. You don't wait around for opportunities or try to take them from others Darryl, you make them."

DD: "Well Freddie, that's exactly what I'm doing."

Devine drops his mic as The Hotshots, Cameron Vessey and Davey Wayne attack Datsun from behind. The two youngsters put the boots to The American Everyman. It isn't long before Datsun's partner, Des Davids comes barreling down to the ring. The 6'5" former football player runs head first into The Hotshots and takes both of them down with a shoulder tackle. The Hotshots fight against Davids as Devine stays out of the way. He gets out of the ring and drags Datsun out with him. In the ring Davids is able to push Wayne away from him bringing it down to him and the 5'11" Vessey. Devine tells the timekeeper to ring the bell. He does as a ref comes out to the ring and the announcer formally introduces the match.

(E+)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/DesDavids.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/CameronVessey_alt2.jpg
-Des Davids vs. Cameron Vessey-

The two start here already tied up and jockeying for position. The more powerful Davids is of course able to win that little test of strength and shoves Vessey all the way back across the ring. Davids continued the match dominating over Vessey, but it wasn't long before Vesseys cheap tactics and Devines interference proved a lot to handle. Vessey took control of the match and wore Davids out targeting his legs, trying to take away his mobility. Vessey did well in wearing him out, but not well enough. Davids came back and dominated Vessey all over again.

Devine tries to get involved to help his partner, but Datsun is quick to stop him. The two start to brawl on the outside catching the refs attention. The referee threatens to throw them out of there if they don't stop as he takes his eyes away from the action in the ring. Davey Wayne gets in between Datsun and Devine as he takes Devines place against Datsun. Devine slips into the ring while Wayne holds off Datsun and the ref. Davids charges at him, but Devine rolls out of the way and springs off the ropes to deliver a Devine Intervention (Springboard back elbow). Devine lays in wait now as Davids gets back to his feet before planting him with a Devine Dream Drop. Devine gets out of the ring now and pulls Wayne away from Datsun. The ref looks back into the ring as Vessey crawls over and pins Davids, 1....2....3.

Winner: Cameron Vessey in 10:13
Rating (D)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FreddieDatsun.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/DavisWayneNewton_alt.jpg
-Freddie Datsun vs. Davey Wayne-

Datsun is irate over what Divinity just pulled on his partner. He chases Wayne right into the ring as the ref calls for the bell and we have another match. Datsun dominates from the start, Wayne getting in little offense throughout the match. Wayne tried fighting back as Devine tried helping him out, but Datsun wasn't about to let Divinity pull the same tricks on him. Datsun was able to lift Wayne onto his shoulders and drop him with a Patriot Press (Death Valley Driver variant). He makes the pin, 1...2...3.

Winner: Freddie Datsun in 7:27
Rating (C) (Gotta love good chemistry)

-Datsun doesn't have time to celebrate his victory as the moment he wins Devine is in the ring and going after the weakened American Everyman. Vessey and a now standing Wayne meanwhile hold off Des Davids. Divinity have their way with The People's Team beating them down.

Then the music hits and running down to the ring like a white tiger on crack is Jim Force. Devine immediately bails as Force plows into Wayne and Vessey. Behind Force comes Steve Flash who goes after Devine. Force delivers a FOOOOORCE PUNCH ~! to both Wayne and Vessey before driving them down into the mat with a pair of Full FOOOORCE!!!'s. Devine makes his way up the ramp as Flash comes after him, abandoning his teammates in the ring. Force points up the ramp at Devine and can clearly be heard telling him that he will FEEEEEL THEEEEEE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(E+)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: Snapping Turtle Delivery Service. We beat that damn rabbit. To death.

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/NickyChampion_alt.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/BrucetheGiant.jpg
-Nicky Champion vs. Bruce The Giant-

Bruce and Champion stand off nose to nose, or nose to chest to be a bit more accurate. Champion didn't back down from the giant though. The match was surprisingly even throughout as Champion gave Bruce a challenge. So much so in fact that it looked like Champion was about to win. Champion perched himself on the top rope about to deliver a Super Hawkeye Hammer (second rope double axe handle). Champion couldn't though as Peter Valentine pulled on the top rope sending Champion falling onto the turnbuckle. Bruce got back to his feet and throttled Champion by the throat. He picked him up and planted him with a Giant Chokeslam picking up the win.

Winner: Bruce The Giant in 7:01
Rating (C)

-We go backstage now as we see 'The Beautiful' Belle Bryden sitting at a chair in the make-up room trying to pretty herself up. She applies some blush before freaking out at what she sees behind her in the mirror. Brazzles stands behind her smiling as she just stares.

"What the-!?" Belle screams as she stands up from her chair and confronts Brazzles. "What do you think you're doing?!" Brazzles just c0cks he head to the right without saying anything, still smiling. "Well? *sighs* Whatever. You know what, I'm glad I ran into you. Now I have a few concerns about our tag team match tonight, I'm sure you do too." Brazzles just keeps staring off into space. "Or not. Anyways, I have just a few rules to lay down. 1, do not get in my way. 2, do not steal my spotlight and 3, do not try to upstage me. You will pay if you do bitch. Now, are we clear." Brazzles just keeps staring into space. "Nod if you understand."

Brazzles just c0cks her head a little more to the right. "I'm going to take that as a yes. Anything you'd like to say?" Brazzles finally says something, "Snarf, snarf."

Bryden raises an eyebrow at the response, "Right... Well, I'll just be going out to the ring now. For our match. As a team. Which must be some kind of cruel joke by somebody."

"Snarf!"

(C)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/AliciaStrong.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/RavenNightfall_alt2.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/SuzanneBrazzle1.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/WandaFish.jpg
-Alicia Strong & Raven Robinson vs. Brazzles & Belle Bryden-

An interesting match here as the team of Brazzles & Bryden provided an interesting dynamic. The match was great as all four women really brought their A-game tonight. Bryden let Brazzles do most of the heavy lifting, Belle getting in to enjoy a bit of glory against her weakened opponents. Strong begged for Bryden to face her one on one during the match, but Bryden was satisfied with letting Brazzles do the hard stuff. The team of Brazzles and Bryden dominated Strong and Robinson for a good while using quick tags and dirty double team tactics to keep their opponents down.

Bryden posed over a downed Robinson before she prepared to finish her off with a Blonde Ambition (Figure 4). Bryden set her up, but before she could lock her in Raven kicked her away and made the tag to Alicia. Strong came in the ring and immediately targeted Belle taking her down repeatedly. Strong prepared to finish this with a Strong Arm Tactic (Running Forearm), but Bryden made the tag to her partner. The two were evenly matched, but Brazzles and Bryden were able to employ underhanded tactics to gain control of the match again.

In the end though Brazzles was able to reverse a Night Faller (reverse DDT) spinning herself around and rolling Robinson into a small package. Brazzles grabbed the rope for leverage and pick up the win.

Winners: Brazzles & Bryden in 12:02
Rating (C+)

-Brazzles and Bryden celebrate their win. Brazzles leaves the ring now and goes up to the timekeeper who's holding onto the USPW Womens Championship. Brazzles tugs the belt out of his hands and hugs it. She gets back into the ring, continuing to hug the belt tightly, coddling it like a mother would. She holds it up now raising it high like a scene right out of 'The Lion King.' The only difference, aside from her not having a real, live lion cub, is Rafiki was never kicked in the back of the neck.

Bryden delivers a Dish of The Day (Roundhouse to the back of the head) to Brazzles, her own partner, knocking her out. Bryden grabs the Womens Championship now and holds it up yelling at her partner that 'it should be mine!'

(D+)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: Apathy. It makes the world go "Eh."

-We're back from commercial break as our cameras find T-Rex backstage with his manager, Sheik Mustafa. T-Rex doesn't seem too happy and Mustafa doesn't seem too concerned about that.

Rex: "But I wanted to be the one who beat Justice last week."

Mustafa: "And you'll have your chance at Frozen Dreams! Right now we focus on Baine and Enygma. Understand?"

Rex: "Yeah, but I should be the one beating Justice. He beat me and-"

Mustafa: "Exactly. He beat you. End of story."

Rex: "And if you don't let me beat him-"

Mustafa: "I don't care Rex. We support Baine. End of story."

Rex: "Well how come you didn't have me wrestle Caulfield. You don't trust that I can win?"

Mustafa: "Precisely. Now shut up. Baine has a match and I will be there to support him."

Rex doesn't look happy as Mustafa leaves to go support Baine. Rex pulls a business card out of his pocket and looks down at it intently.

(D)

-Our cameras go backstage now to a dark corridor where USPW World Champion Enygma is standing. By his side is a woman in a mask identical to his. The woman speaks.

"What is evil, has a heart of hatred and two red eyes of pure rage? The answer is Baine. My name is Ryddle and I am here to speak for Enygma. Enygma believes that what Baine has been doing in the entire time he's been here is wrong. Enygma knows that true power can't come through fear. 'Fear is the enemy of logic.' Enygma and I know better than to be afraid of an overgrown bully who beats up those weaker than him. 'Fear can't hurt you any more than a dream.' Enygma will triumph over you as was always meant to be. Enygma will slay you once and for all Demon, for he is courageous enough to.

'Cowards die many times before their deaths

The valiant never taste of death but once.'

You will not succeed Baine."

(B-) (For anyone wondering who Ryddle is, she'd be Dharma Gregg)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/ChrisCaulfield_alt1.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/USPW/USPWVS.pnghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/TysonBaine.jpg
-Chris Caulfield vs. Baine w/ Mustafa-

The Demon From The Deep, Baine showed no restraint in going after Caulfield. Still hurting from the earlier assault at Baines hand Caulfield fought back as best he could but found himself overpowered by the Demon. Caulfield showed plenty of heart as he fought back against Baine, but it wasn't enough to trounce Baines rage. Baine was able to put The Hardcore American out of his misery with a Hades Bomb (Double Handed Choke Bomb) to pick up the win.

Winner: Baine in 9:41
Rating (B-)

-The Demon From The Deep is, of course not willing to stop at just beating Caulfield in a match. Baine continues his assault on Caulfield before the lights go out in the arena just as they did last week. The question mark appears on the tron signaling the arrival of Enygma. Unlike last week though fire erupts out of the corner posts illuminating the arena and the ring in a red glow. Enygma finds himself standing right in front of Baine.

Baine wastes no time, he roars before charging at Enygma with a lariat. Enygma ducks under it, but is caught by his foot as Mustafa grabs it. Baine charges in now with Enygma locked in place. Enygma stomps on Mustafas hand getting him to release him as he rolls out of Baines way just in time. Enygma looks to charge in himself now, but he's caught with a clubbing blow to the back by T-Rex who joins his partner in the ring now. Rex pulls Enygma to his feet now and prepares to set him up for the Jurassic Crush, but Baine wants to destroy him too.

Baine tries to pull Enygma over to him so he can finish him, but Rex wants to prove that he can do it. The two basically play tug of war with the World Champion. Mustafa doesn't step in as he's still leaning against the apron nursing that stomped hand. The Titans continue arguing and look like they may pull Enygma apart by the seams, until Rex is nailed with a chair wielded by Chris Caulfield. Rex goes down and Caulfield takes a swing at Baine. The chair dents over his head, but he's still standing and he looks angry (-er). Baine roars as Caulfield nails him again. Baine continues to stand. Caulfield draws his chair back and prepares to see if the third time is the charm.

He swings, but doesn't make contact. The chair is ripped out of his hands from behind as Bruce The Giant grabs it. Bruce spins Caulfield around and plants him with a Giant Chokeslam. Baine now turns his attention back to Enygma and drives him into the canvas with a Hades Bomb. The World Champion just lay there on the mat as The Demon From The Deep, Baine just stands over him.

(B-)

Final Rating ©

Cable Rating (1.02)

Post Show Recap Brought To You By: Commercials. They help pay for stuffs.

-Toa defeated Anger (D)
-Cameron Vessey defeated Des Davids (D)
-Freddie Datsun defeated Davey Wayne ©
-Bruce The Giant defeated Nicky Champion ©
-Belle Bryden and Brazzles defeated Raven Robinson and Alicia Strong (C+)
-Baine defeated Chris Caulfield (B-)

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http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FrozenDreams.jpg
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Current Card for USPW Frozen Dreams:

USPW World Championship Match- Tyson Baine vs. Enygma ©
USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©
USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson ©
Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant
Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden
The Force vs. Darryl Devine
Toa vs. Andre Jones

MaxxHexx · March 12, 2010

USPW World Championship Match- Tyson Baine vs. Enygma © I expect Sneer involvment.

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team © They will cheat but it will fall through and hurt them.

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson © Belle interferes.

Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant The stipulations give the advantage here.

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden Like a boss.

The Force vs. Darryl Devine Via interference

Toa vs. Andre Jones Toa is cooler than if the bee's knees wore the cat's pajamas.

Nightshadeex · March 12, 2010

How happy are you going to be when Sam leaves the business? It shouldn't be too far away.

tristram · March 12, 2010

Yeah, I'm saddened that USPW isn't a complete joke here. I had plenty more jokes at the expense of the company I'm booking and what a vomit-inducing good time they are to watch to get out.
I hate to say this but I didn't actually make the connection of T-Rex and Negativity-Rex until just now. This gives me an idea...

<hr>

WHAT DID THE ARSEHOLES SAY?

6,120 minutes and one quite successful television show later here I am. In a bathroom stall. Writing the second show. On a roll of toilet paper. With a dry-erase marker. A pink one. It's sparkly. Not quite the way I envisioned things when Mr. Washburn said I was getting transferred. Doesn't matter, I'll have the last laugh when one of the major networks picks up my new pilot for 'The Adventures of Negativity-Rex & Douche-Lad.' When I haven't been forced to write a wrestling show I've been putting together a revamped script for it. No network will be able to say no to this gem.

As I worked feverishly at the new script the bathroom door opened wider and I heard the stall door next to mine open. I heard a familiar high-pitched voice come from the stall, "Hey, Mr. Strong wants to see you in his office right now."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get there."
"He said now!" Tiny exclaimed.
"Okay, I'll get going. By the way, why didn't you just call me on one of these little Fisher-Price walkie talkies Sam insisted we have?"
"Cuz I gotta take a dump. Why the hell do you think I came all the way out here?"

And with that I moved surprisingly quickly to Mr. Strongs office. I opened the door and walked inside. Sitting at his desk was Mr. Strong, but by his side were Peter Valentine, Nicky Champion, Giant Redwood, Danny Jillefski and Alicia Strong.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
"No, brother, we were waiting for you before we started."
"So, what's this about? Why are we all here?"
"Why don't you shut your f***ing mouth and listen dipsh*t?" Easier said than done tubby.

"...So anyways, why are we here?"
"What the f*** did I just tell you needledick?"
"We're here Jay because I have a few expectations of you as my new head booker." Can't be much if you're accepting shows I wrote on toilet paper. Not even two-ply either.
"I wouldn't bother Mr. Strong, I won't be here long enough to fail whatever inane goals you have in mind for me."
"Oh really. And why is that brother?"
"Because it's only a short matter of time before my pilot gets picked up and I no longer have to work for you."
"I doubt that brother so listen up."
"And listen good you little prick."
"Jay, I'm giving you a list of goals that I want you to accomplish."
"And what if I don't?"
"Then I'll be very angry at you."
"You can't fire me, can you?"
"Washburn would pull American Wrestling from his programming."

"So basically you have no power over me."
"Yet, brother."
"Yet?"
"We were bumped back an hour by Sports America a few weeks ago by the Competitive Tooth Cleaning Triathlon." Ah yes, brushing, flossing and gurgling in a competitive environment. Sports Americas last failed experiment. Turned out a flossing fetish gave it a decent rating though. "USPW doesn't plan on doing business with Sports America for much longer. When USPW parts ways with Sports America what do you think happens to you?"
"I go back to working for Mr. Washburn of course."
"Wrong brother. You're an employee of mine now, Washburn wants you here so that you won't be there. We're stuck with each other brother, so get used to it."
"Well if I'm stuck here can I at least get a real office? My current one smells. Really bad."
"I'll think about it brother. Now to business."

"I could do business better in a real office."
"Your office was designed to do your business in. Now shut up and let Sam talk. Some of us have better things to do than hear you complain kid." Valentine chimes in.
"First goal for you is simple, I have plenty of my own money invested into USPW and plenty of investor money too."
"But it's only worth $10 million, a big star like you doesn't have more money than that?"
"Here's a lesson for you brother, don't let Rip Chord open a bar tab in your name. Now back to business I don't want USPW falling into debt at any time for any reason."
"I dunno, $10 mil ain't hard to waste nowadays."

"Second on my list involves Nicky and Peter. Both of them are important to the future of this company." The 46 year old without any measurable skill and on the verge of retirement is important to the future? Seriously? "That's why I don't want either of their momentums to fall below a certain level. Nickys better not fall below a B- and Peters better not fall below C+. Got it?"
"Umm... that's nice that you have letters for them and all, but, uh, how the hell am I supposed to know how I'm doing on that when you're just making the grades up?"
"Oh brother, don't you know anything?"
"I know my name."
"The grades come from the Adam Ryland Statistical Evaluation Honorable Online Library Explorer System."
"The Adam Ryland Statisti-whatchamajiget?"
"The Adam Ryland Statistical Evaluation Honorable Online Library Explorer System."
"That's a mouthful."
"Then just use the abbreviation brother."
"Which is?"
"ARSEHOLES, The ARSEHOLES."
"Oh, so we go by what The ARSEHOLES say? The ARSEHOLES provide the grades?"
"Yes. Now can we move on?"

"Yeah, sure, do what The ARSEHOLES tell me, got it."
"Next order of business, I don't want you to hire any psychopaths."
"Well, I guess I'll just cross Arkham Asylum off my places to scout."
"Moving on brother, my wrestlers are an investment which is why I don't want any of them getting hurt."
"Not because they're your friends or because they're fellow human beings?"
"I'm a businessman now Jay." Score one for market research. "Everyone's an investment."
"Even me?"
"No. Now to get to my point I don't want you hiring anyone with less than a C- in safety."
"Going by The ARSEHOLES, right?"
"Right brother."
"So don't hire anyone The ARSEHOLES think is unsafe. Got it, anything else?"

"Yes, I want workers who are in shape, ones that don't gas out after 5 minutes. The ones that can't go more than a few minutes are useless."
"Hey tubby, I think he's talking about you." I whisper to Redwood.
"Shut your f***ing mouth you worthless little dipsh*t! Don't ever call me fat!"
"Okay, sorry I offended you blubber nuggets."
"That's it! It's time I kicked you puny little ass f***wad!"

Redwood leaps off the couch as fast as his fat, little legs could carry him up to his feet. Jillefski immediately stands in front of him and tries to calm him down. After a few words Redwood plops back down onto the couch.

"Now as I was saying before you picked a fight brother, I don't want you hiring anyone with less than C- stamina."
"Okay, don't hire anyone The ARSEHOLES think is a fat, useless waste of space. Got it. Anything else?"
"No brother, that'll be all. Now get back to work. I better see the script for the next show on my desk before the end of the day."

With that I leave Mr. Strongs office and head back to my own. Luckily no one was using my stall when I got back. I got back to finishing up the next show, but couldn't help but hear and smell what I heard and smelt. "Tiny, are you still in there?" I asked. "Sh*t yeah, I got the runs bad." He replied.

Definitely not how I envisioned my first office...
<hr>
Official Preview for USPW American Wrestling:

-USPW TV Championship Match- ??? vs. Andre Jones ©
-Women's #1 Contender Match- Miss York vs. J-Ro vs. Brazzle vs. Tatiana (Agent 69)
-Non-Title Match- The Peoples Team (Datsun & Davids) vs. ???
-Chris Caulfield vs. Jumbo Jackson
-James Justice vs. Tyson Baine

3 pts for correct winner
1 pt for correct match rating
and what the hell, 10 pts if anyone can get either of the ??? correct. (Here's your hint, they're new signings).

Next show will be up on Saturday.

Well, I'd like to see someone get the ??? so here's clue #2. The singles ??? was never in USPW: 65, both wrestlers in the tag team ??? however were featured in USPW: 65

God, I laughed like a hee-haw donkey when I read this. Reading for word for word everyone of your posts, loving it.

This part got me too:

Wayne: "Cam, what the hell are you doing?"

Vessey: "Looking for his wallet, I need some money ASAP. Those sharks don't have much in the way of patience, but plenty in the way of braindead muscle."

....

Vessey: (Speaking into Devine's mic now) "Yes, we would like to kick your asses and we will, but I just have a quick question. Are either of you by any chance carrying your wallets on you at the moment?"

It's funny as hell, 'cos you just never see it coming.

One thought, Brazzles is as crazy as bat poop. Heh, I like it.

GruntMark · March 12, 2010

USPW World Championship Match- Tyson Baine vs. Enygma ©

B-

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team ©

C

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson ©

D+

Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant

C-

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden

C

The Force vs. Darryl Devine

D

Toa vs. Andre Jones

D

J Silver · March 12, 2010

*Ahem*

Current Card for USPW Frozen Dreams:

How happy are you going to be when Sam leaves the business? It shouldn't be too far away.

It may surprise you to learn, but not very much. If he does then Dean Daniels takes over. That guy just screams 'boring' to me. Besides, jobbing out Strong is still a cheap yet effective tactic.

God, I laughed like a hee-haw donkey when I read this. Reading for word for word everyone of your posts, loving it.

This part got me too:

Wayne: "Cam, what the hell are you doing?"
Vessey: "Looking for his wallet, I need some money ASAP. Those sharks don't have much in the way of patience, but plenty in the way of braindead muscle."

....

Vessey: (Speaking into Devine's mic now) "Yes, we would like to kick your asses and we will, but I just have a quick question. Are either of you by any chance carrying your wallets on you at the moment?"

It's funny as hell, 'cos you just never see it coming.

One thought, Brazzles is as crazy as bat poop. Heh, I like it.

Glad to know I can still make you laugh. And as for Brazzles, it just wouldn't be a J Silver Dynasty without mental instability now would it?

<hr>

Prediction Contest Results:

xopher316- 20 pt
Bigpapa42- 18 pt
Astil- 18 pt
GruntMark- 16 pt
Dragonmack- 15 pt
1PWfan- 15 pt
MaxxHexx- 15 pt
BYU 14- 15 pt
Nightshadeex- 14 pt
Jammy Dodger- 9 pt

Congratulation to xopher316, you had me figured out.

MTD Standings:

BYU 14- 46 pt
xopher316- 45 pt
Dragonmack- 43 pt
Bigpapa42- 30 pt
Jammy Dodger- 27 pt
MaxxHexx- 27 pt
SeanMcFly- 24 pt
Angeldelayette- 24 pt
Nightshadeex- 23 pt
Astil- 18 pt
GruntMark- 16 pt
mistaken- 15 pt
1PWfan- 15 pt
ChrisKid- 6 pt

Still looking for feedback or suggestions for the monthly prize as well. I've still only got some sort of guest writer spot, Jim Force Merchandise, or an e-pat on the back and no clue if anybody would even want any of it.<hr>

Official Preview for USPW American Wrestling (FD! Go Home Show)

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

3 pts for correct winner

1 pt for correct match rating.

Show should be up by Monday. Backstage post coming tomorrow, it involves Sam Strong and these new-fangled things called computers.

Dragonmack · March 12, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

E+ bad chemistry and all.

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

D because a title is on the line.

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

C+ only because Flash could carry a blow up doll to a C- match.

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

D not sure if your product embraces mix gender matches

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

C+ no Samoans means Bruce Smash

Nightshadeex · March 12, 2010

Dean Daniels is a horrible person to take over USPW, that's what I've noticed as well. Worse than that, he always wants to book USPW himself. BORING!

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

Well, it'll hopefully give the Shots some momentum...

(E+)

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

Andre as well.

(D)

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

You gotta make Pete look good for your goal...

(D+)

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

I see Darryl geting pushed to the moon again.

©

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

The heels ride momentum into the PPV.

(B)

GruntMark · March 12, 2010

Oh snap. I thought USPWs first PPV was after three shows.

Or maybe it usually is in game, I dont care enough to check.

I'll make new predictions....soon.

Bigpapa42 · March 12, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

James Casey · March 12, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots Oh, come on... The Hillbillies?!? E+ tops

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones Tempting as it would be to take Jones down a notch, he needs this win. D

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine Owner goals = Valentine win. D+

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden Classic tactic for a go-home show. C

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant Rex takes the fall. C

tristram · March 12, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots - D+

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones - C-

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine C+

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden - C

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant C+

GruntMark · March 13, 2010

Hillbillies have actually landed me some matches in the D+ area. Tag seems greatly improved in TEW 2010.

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

D But they still arent worth pushing

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

D USA has to be near retirement.

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

D+ Strongs BFF is too much for boringly consistent

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

C Tough pick, small upset for DD

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

C+ Faces just have more talent, worth keeping stronger

BYU 14 · March 13, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

Hillbillies just suck (D+)

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

Jones younger and more valuable (C-)

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

Valentine is more important (C-)

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

How can so many dount the Force? (D)

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

This could go either way, but Bruce makes the difference (C+)

xopher316 · March 13, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots (D)

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones (D)

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine (D+)

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden ©

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant (C+)

J Silver · March 13, 2010

Dean Daniels is a horrible person to take over USPW, that's what I've noticed as well. Worse than that, he always wants to book USPW himself. BORING!

Exactly, which is why I'm trying to set it up now so that PJ takes over when Sam retires.

Oh snap. I thought USPWs first PPV was after three shows.

Or maybe it usually is in game, I dont care enough to check.

I'll make new predictions....soon.

Probably does, I think after two shows actually. I changed the PPV's around anyways.<hr>

Technophobia

Welcome to Sh*ttsylvania. Population: Me and whatever's growing in the stall next to me. I think I heard it gurgle 'Kill me' earlier. I could be wrong, might've been 'Feed me.' Chief export of Sh*ttsylvania: Misery; producer: Jacob Stranton. I've been here almost a month and I still have to use the stinkin' bathroom as an office. They won't even give me one measly sheet of paper or a pen and my pink, sparkly dry-erase marker is starting to run low. My company issued cell phone rings as I'm soaking in my self-misery. They have enough to buy cell phones, but not paper? Really? I answer the phone to who else but Mr. Strong. He wants me in his office asap brother, he's got some new-fangled gadget he wants to give me. Maybe it's a clicky pen. That level of technology would be like magic to Sam. Now you see it *Click* Now you don't *Click* Now you do *Click* Now you don't *Click* Now you do *Click* Now you don't *Click* Now you do *Click* Now you don't *Click* Now you do *Click* Now you don't. Entertains 5 and 65 year olds alike.

I left my office and headed for Sams. As I arrived at the closed door I let out a deep sigh knowing Sam and technology can't be a good mix. I opened the door and no sooner was I proven right. I walked right into PJ trying to teach his dad how to work a computer.

"No, dad stop touching the screen. You use the mouse to control the cursor."

"So I can't touch the screen for that?"

"No, you can only do that with a touch screen monitor."

"Then get me one of those."

"No dad, I'm not getting you a touch screen monitor, now let's try the mouse again."

"Well I want one of those touch ones."

"Touch screen monitors suck. Now, please dad, use the damn mouse."

"I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"Oh Jay, thank god you're here. You know how to use a computer, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Alright, good. One less person I have to worry about."

"Worry about what?"

"This office is getting computers and I'm trying to teach everyone how to use them."

"Oh, cool. How's that working out for you?"

PJ just points at his dad.

"What's with this red laser? Do I just point it at the screen? That clicker thing on the screen isn't moving. Is that right?"

"Dad, put the mouse on the mousepad and then move it around."

"I like my typewriter better."

"Get with the times old man."

"Hey, there's a hand on the screen. It's pointing up, what am I supposed to do now."

"Hold on dad." (Now turning to me) "So, anyways I got you a laptop Jay."

PJ pulls one out from behind Sams desk and hands it to me.

"It's all set up for you. All the codes and info you'll need are in the 'Instructions' document on the desktop. I've also set up a company e-mail account for you and added in all of the contacts for everyone else here. We'll be expecting the next show written up on your computer."

"Alright, so do I just send the next show to Sam when I'm done?"

"Hey, this thing keeps typing r over and over again! I think it's broken."

"It's not broken dad, get your elbow off the keyboard."

"The what-board?"

"You know what, just e-mail the next show to me when you're done, okay? I think dad is going to need a bit more time to get the hang of it."

"Male enhancement? Viagra pills? Camera shows? Son, I think you got me a perverted computer."

"Those are pop-ups dad, just ignore them."

"How? They keep popping up."

"Close the pop-up windows then."

"How the hell do I do that?"

"Click the close button."

"When I do that it asks me to open it."

"Dad, you're clicking the wrong button."

"Well how the hell am I supposed to know that. Damn new-fangled machines."

"I think we're done here Jay. You can go back to your office. E-mail me if you have any concerns or questions. Anything like that."

"Son, how do I tell this lady on the screen that she should stop stripping and go back to school?"

"Dad, close that window."

"She's taking her clothes off now. Hmm, she's got a nice body."

"Dad, please close that damn window, there are some things fathers and sons just shouldn't do together."

"Yeah, I'll just head out now." I say as though to myself. PJ is too busy trying to close the web-cam site his dad is on to say goodbye. Not that I blame him, the idea of Sam Strong looking at internet porn isn't a pleasant one. I left the office and who else would I bump into than someone I really don't want to? "Yo, stinky!" Biff runs up to me. "Hey, you got a laptop too. Sweet deal, huh?"

"Yeah, totally."

"Hey, you think PJ put any site blockers on here?"

"No dad, she would not make a good valet, she's a stripper!" I hear from behind the Strong office door.

"I doubt that Biff."

"Sweet. I'll be in my office. Do not disturb if you know what I mean. Oh, yeah!"

"Wait, you have an office?"

"Yeah, of course. Who doesn't bro? Anyway, smell ya later Stinky."

Biff has an office and I don't? Dammit!

"No dad, you are not giving your e-mail or any other contact info to that stripper!"

<hr>For anyone who'd like to add PJ to their own game, here are the renders for him.

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/PJ-Strong_alt1.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/PJ-Strong.jpg<hr>

Official Preview for USPW American Wrestling (FD! Go Home Show)

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

3 pts for correct winner

1 pt for correct match rating.

Show will probably be up by Monday.

Nightshadeex · March 13, 2010

Hi-freakin-larious. PJ Strong is awesome.

1PWfan · March 14, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots

Whilst tag experience makes a big difference in 2k10, The Hillbillies still suck too hard to win at anything

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones

It's clear that you're not 100% behind Andre, but he's a good solid worker, and unlike USA he's not retiring any time soon

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine

This is an easy one- One loss isn't going to kill Peter's momentum, and this is Steve Flash we're talking about.

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden

Because I want to

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant

In this situation the monsters could do with a win, to add some drama going into the PPV

MaxxHexx · March 16, 2010

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots Hillbillies are on the out and out.

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones He is the baddest.

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine Cause he is a p-i-m-p.

-Jim FORCE! & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden Interference by Brazzles.

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant Via DQ.

J Silver · March 18, 2010

OOC: Sorry about the lateness. I'm sure everyone's surprised that someone with a track record as impeccable as mine could ever be this late. Suffice it to say daylight savings time has been screwing with me.<hr>

USPW: Where we've had 4 shows and only a total of 5 days late.

Consistency~! On with the show

<hr>

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/68AW.png

name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="

type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="30" height="25"></embed></object>

USPW American Wrestling

Wednesday, Week 4, January 2010 (FD! Go Home Show)

Held at The Shakeshaft Auditorium

Att. 3,793

Dark Matches

-(Secret Dark Match Mk. III) (D+)

-(The future is filled with such hope Super Secret Dark Match) (C+)

Main Show

-We kick off the last show before Frozen Dreams as we follow 'The Beautiful' Belle Bryden as she walks down the hall backstage. Unfortunately for her the camera's not the only one following her. Brazzles follows Bryden as she walks around. Bryden seems to be getting more and more frustrated with the batty Brazzles upon every step she takes. Finally Belle seems to have had enough as she stops in her tracks and does a 180 on her heel coming face to face with Brazzles. Brazzles just stops and looks at Bryden, a smile on her face and her head c0cked slightly to the right.

Bryden: "Why the hell are you following me?"

Bryden waits for an answer from Brazzles, but gets nothing.

Bryden: "Stop following me. You understand that? Stop following me. Go do something productive. Or destructive. Whatever you wierdos do. I know, how about you go beat up Raven?"

Brazzles: "Aye aye cap'n. For Energon!"

Brazzles charges off in the opposite direction while Bryden just has a look of bewilderment plastered across her face. She just shakes her head in disbelief before moving on. Finally she arrives at her destination.

Vessey: "Paid vacation?"

Devine: "No."

Vessey: "Benefits?"

Devine: "No."

Vessey: "Health?"

Devine: "Keep screwing around and I'll be a danger to yours."

Vessey: "So, why did we join you again?"

Wayne: "I think it was the threats of physical violence."

Vessey: "Oh yeah, there were a lot of those."

Wayne: "Were?"

Vessey: "Yeah, forget the past tense."

Bryden approaches Devine walking right past the Hotshots who can't help but stare.

Devine: "And just what do you want Belle?"

Bryden: "Glad you asked Devine. I want to lay down a few ground rules since I'm stuck teaming with you tonight."

Vessey: "Hi."

Bryden: "...Hi. Anyways I want to make a few things clear to you Darryl."

Wayne: "Hi."

Bryden: "Yeah, hi to you too. First, don't get in my way."

Devine: "Then just stay out of my way."

Bryden: "Second, Don't steal my spotlight. I'm the real star of this show, don't forget that."

Devine: "Funny, I don't see a poster with your name on it around here."

Bryden: "And third, don't piss me off."

Devine: "How about you just get your little stuck-up ass out of here and go get ready for the match? How's that sound?"

Bryden: "And because I don't think you heard me last time, third, don't piss me off."

Devine: "Look, I don't know where this sense of entitlement of yours comes from and I really don't care. Just do your part in the match and don't lose. Do that and we'll get along just fine, okay Belle?"

Belle doesn't look pleased with Devines attitude towards her. She just stares at Devine for a moment looking like she's about to have a hissy fit over it. Leave it to Vessey though to interrupt an otherwise tense moment.

Vessey: "You're beautiful."

Bryden: "Thank you. Now stop staring at my ass you little creep."

Vessey: "Do I have to?"

Wayne: "Yeah, do we have to?"

Devine: "Yes morons, you have to. The sooner you do, the sooner she goes away."

Vessey: (To Belle) "Can we go with you instead?"

Bryden stomps off like a child that wasn't allowed candy would to their room.

Vessey: "Is that a yes? No?"

Wayne: "Women, they never give you a straight answer."

Vessey: "It's like my Uncle Bryan always used to say, 'Communication with bitches can always be made simple; one slap for yes, two slaps for no.'"

Devine: "One of these days I'd like to meet your Uncle Bryan."

Vessey: "I can call him up for you."

Devine: "No, you can't punch someone through a phone."

Vessey: "No kidding. Phone punching could wipe out that pesky telemarketer problem so easily."

(E-)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/CaptainUSA.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/AndreJones_alt.jpg

-Captain USA vs. Andre Jones-

Can you say squash? Jones dominates the Cap'n in this match and puts him away with a Blast From The Past in our worst match ever. This year.

Winner: Andre Jones in 5:09

Rating (E)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: FutureCo's Bending Suit. Bite our shiny, metal asses.

-We go backstage now to our interview area where Seduction is with The Hotshots.

Seduction: "Cameron, Davey, the two of you have a chance to win the USPW Tag Team Championships this Saturday at Frozen Dreams! How do you feel about your chances?"

Wayne: "Well Seduction, we're very confident that we can win the championships and go down in history as the youngest Tag Team Champions in the history of this company."

Vessey: "We will be the youngest, right?"

Wayne: "The average age for a champion around here is 43, so it's pretty safe to say."

Vessey: "That's true. I'm never in short supply of walkers and canes to pawn off around here."

Wayne: "Yeah, and if we tell anyone to break a leg out there we're not doing it out of good will, we're doing it maliciously."

Vessey: "Yeah, old people sure are fragile."

Wayne: "Which is why it's going to be so easy for us to become Tag Team Champions this Saturday. Old Man Datsun doesn't stand a chance against The Hotshots."

Vessey: "Amen to that. Seriously now, you think he keeps his wallet on him."

"Now who would go and do a fool thing like that. Of course I don't keep my wallet on me during a match." says Freddie Datsun as he walks unto this scene.

Vessey: "Dammit. Does the taller, stupider looking one keep his on him?"

Wayne: "Cam, shut up about the damn wallets already. Don't you see the old man in front of us? By himself."

Vessey: "Yeah, considering our violent tendencies he just made a stupid."

Datsun: "Now boys, I ain't come down here for violence, we can save that for Saturday. I came down here to ask you a simple question."

Vessey: "Yes, we will be the youngest Tag Team Champions when we beat your old ass for the belts."

Datsun: "That wasn't my question."

Vessey: "Oh. No, I am not secretly Batman."

Datsun: "That wasn't it either."

Vessey: "I am not secretly Iron-Man. Though that would be pretty awesome. I would make a few modifications to that suit though. Then those terrorists would quake in fear of my almighty laser dong-piece."

Datsun: (To Wayne) "Can you get him to shut up?"

Wayne: "I wish."

Vessey: "Oh, and I'd be a freakin' billionaire with a charming alcoholic streak. How could you top that?"

Datsun: "Stop guessing."

Vessey: "But I like this game."

Datsun: "I just got a simple question to ask you two. Now I know both of you are promising young talent and that one day you could amount to something in this business."

Vessey: "Well now, flattery will get you everywhere."

Datsun: "So why in the hell would you join Devine and waste your talents on him?"

Vessey: "Hmmm...."

Wayne: "Well,.... There were the threats of violence."

Vessey: "And the promises."

Wayne: "Ah yes, the promises of no more threats of violence."

Vessey: "And the other promises."

Wayne: "Yeah, the promises of a lot more threats of violence."

Vessey: "And the training."

Wayne: "Yup, the training at the constant threat of violence."

"How about the promises of violence towards enemies?" Devine asks as he comes out of nowhere clubbing Datsun on the back of the head. Devine begins beating Datsun down, The Hotshots momentarily joining in. Devine targets Datsuns knee and The Hotshots follow suit. Devine is able to do a number on the joint including getting in a shot with a steel pipe before the cavalry of Des Davids and Steve Flash arrive and chase off Divinity. Davids looks absolutely livid at the cowardly attack as he tends to his partner.

(E+)

-USPW Womens Champion Raven Robinson is backstage grabbing herself a coffee, the cameraman covering her because he's a pervert. At least I believe so. Anyways, it was a good thing the pervert was there watching Raven get a coffee. From out of seemingly nowhere someone yelling "One shall stand, one shall fall Megatron!" can be heard. Raven looks around before Brazzles charges into her slamming her head onto the table.

Raven falls to the ground and Brazzles mounts her and punches away landing lefts and rights into the champs exposed face. Brazzles then lets up for a moment, Raven screaming to her, "What the hell are you doing?" Brazzles responding with "That's a question you should ask YOURSELF, Megatron." And then Brazzles lunges down and bites at Ravens ear looking like she's trying to bite it off. Security finally show up on the scene and pull the psychotic Brazzles off the champ. Robinson clutches at her ear as Brazzles looks on just smiling down at her, blood on her lips.

(E+)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/AlTheHillbilly.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/PeteTheHillbilly.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/DavisWayneNewton_alt.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/CameronVessey_alt2.jpg

-The Hillbillies vs. The Hotshots-

In a wonderful, fast paced match The Hotshots went back and forth with The Hillbillies exchanging holds and doing all sorts of flippity floppity moves. Just kidding. The Hotshots destroyed The Hillbillies and easily picked up the win going into their match at Frozen Dreams!

Winners: The Hotshots in 4:43

Rating (E+)

-The Hotshots are victorious over The Hillbillies, as though that's a surprise. Vessey doesn't seem to want to just enjoy the victory though as he starts stomping away at one of them, you know, the one with the beard. Wayne joins in on the attack stomping away at the other Hillbilly, you know, the one with the beard. Vessey stops stomping The Hillbilly and drops down to his knees to look in his pockets. Vessey finds a wallet and pulls out money from it, The Hotshots apparently mugging The Hillbillies, as though that's a surprise. Vessey then looks to the other Hillbillies pocket, but before he can Des Davids and Steve Flash come running down to the ring.

Wayne and Vessey bail out of there before the two can get to them. Davids is pissed with The Hotshots over their attack on his partner earlier tonight. He yells for them to get back in the ring and settle this like men, but The Hotshots aren't having any of it. Wayne taunts Davids to come and get them while Vessey just counts his new-found money, all $3 of it. Them Hillbillies sure is high rollers.

(E+)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: Suicide Booths: 25 years and not a single customer complaint.

-Backstage T-Rex and Sheik Mustafa are in the Titans locker room. Rex doesn't look too happy with the way Mustafa has been treating him like an after thought lately. Mustafa meanwhile doesn't seem to care or want to deal with Rex.

Rex: "I'm just as important as Baine."

Mustafa: "No, you are not. Now start getting ready for the match. Baine must not lose."

Rex: "Why don't you ever support me?"

Mustafa: "oh, stop being such a whiny cry baby and get over it."

Rex: "What will it take for you to treat me like him?"

Mustafa: "How about winning a match? Maybe like this one you are going to be in. Or you know what, why don't you take out Sneer or Justice? How about you do that?"

Rex: "I'll do it."

Mustafa: "Do what? I just want you to get ready for this match?"

Rex: "I'm going to get my win back from Justice!"

Rex runs off leaving Mustafa in anger yelling for him to get back and help support Baine.

(D-)

-We go to our interview area now where Seduction is standing by with Jim Force and Alicia Strong.

Seduction: "Jim, how do-"

Force: "THAT IS MR. JIM FOOOOOOOORCE!!!!!!"

Seduction: "Mr. Force-"

Force: "THAT IS MR. JIM FOOOOOOOORCE!!!!!!"

Seduction: "Umm, Mr. Jim Force, how do you feel going into your match with Darryl Devine tonight?"

Force: "THE DASTARDLY DO-BADDING DENIZEN OF DELINQUENCY DEEMED DEVINE DOES DEFY TRADITIOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! DEVINE, YOU SHALL NOT GET AWAY WITH INSULTING ESTEEMED ELDERS WITH ENTANGLED ENTICEMENTS OF EVIL DO-BADDERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! THE FOOOOOOOOOOORCE SHALL NOT STAND FOR YOUR DEFIANCE OF TRADITIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! BUY MY MERCHANDISE. THE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE IS A FOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE THAT YOU SHALL FINALLY FULLY FEEL THE FEARSOME FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE OF THE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORCE!!!!!! RAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!"

Force stomps off leaving Seduction and Strong standing there unsure of what exactly just transpired.

Strong: "..... So, yeah. I think that about sums it up."

(C-) (Warning: Some words Jim Force uses may not exist. Also, Jim Force may not understand some of the words he uses. .....Okay, most of the words he uses.)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/JimForce.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/AliciaStrong.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/Darryl-Devine-Heel.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/WandaFish.jpg

-Jim Force & Alicia Strong vs. Darryl Devine & Belle Bryden-

In the spirit of wanting to have at least one good match on this card Forces involvement was kept minimal aside from him shouting stuff from the apron to his partner. The ladies wrestled the majority of this intergender match. Though that's not to say Devine didn't take some cheap shots at Strong during the course of the match. It was a pretty back and forth affair between the two women, neither taking a distinct advantage over the other. Bryden however used a few cheap tactics and help from her partner to gain that advantage. Bryden wore her opponent out until finally Alicia was able to get the tag.

Force exploded into the ring like a psychotic force of nature to be reckoned with. He took down both Devine and Bryden repeatedly and delivered FOOOOORCE ~! Punches to both. Force sets Devine up for a Full Force, but Bryden stops him in his tracks with a low blow. Strong gets back in the ring and takes care of Belle, brawling with her now. Devine picks Force up and sets him up for the Devine Dream Drop. He goes for it and... Force pushes him away. Devine springs off the ropes and right into a kick to the gut from Force. Force picks him up and drills him into the canvas with a Full Force. He makes the pin, 1.....2.....3.

Winners: Force & Strong in 9:32

Rating (C-)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: Santa Clause. He's still real to me dammit!

-We go now to the inside of James Justices locker room. Why is there a cameraman there you may wonder? Because he's a pervert. What? It's still a perfectly reasonable explanation. Justice is just chilling on his couch with a bag of Doritos and a soda watching a movie. Yup, we're just watching Justice watch a movie. Then a knock comes at the door. "Come in dude, it's unlocked."

"Uhh. I can't my hands are full. Can you get the door for me?" The mystery voice explains.

"Dude, not cool. I was just getting to the best part." Justice says as he gets up and gets the door. He opens it to find T-Rex. Rex is backed up to the wall and charges in with a head of steam at Justice. Justice side steps him as Rex runs through the doorway and straight into a wall. The dry wall has a distinct outline of Rex in it now as he falls to the ground. Justice looks at Rex on the ground for a moment and then goes over to his fridge. "Soda?" He offers Rex.

"I don't want your damn soda!" Rex yells as he gets back to his feet. "Alright, more for me I guess." Rex decides to go for broke as he takes a run at Justice again. Once more Justice moves out of the way of the slow moving Rex and he ends up tripping over the couch. Rex falls face first onto the floor while hanging over the edge of the couch. "Dorito?" Justice offers now.

Rex gets himself off the couch now and back to his feet. "I don't want your damn food!" He shouts at Justice. "If you say so dude. So, anything I can get for you?"

"I want you."

"Hmm?"

"I want a rematch with you. Nobody beats T-Rex and gets away with it!"

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Yeah, that's cool. Frozen Dreams! good for you, man?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Alright, cool dude. Hey, want to watch a movie and chill with me?"

"No, not really."

(C+)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/SteveFlash.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/PeterValentine.jpg

-Steve Flash vs. Peter Valentine-

These two veterans squared off here, and what a terrible match it was. I can't believe I'm calling Flash the younger guy here, but even his (relative) youth wasn't enough to drag this match up much from utter suckitude. As for what transpired during the match, Flash was clearly the better wrestler, big shock, I know. Valentine did what he does best, cheat. Valentine took the advantage and wore Flash out doing whatever could to beat him.

Valentine looked as though he was about to set up for a Heart Breaker (Big shoulder breaker). Valentine prepares to lift Flash onto his shoulder when the music hits. Nicky Champion walks out onto the stage. Valentine throws Flash away and prepares for a fight, but Champion just watches on from the stage. It's enough to distract Valentine as Flash rolls him up with a school boy,

1

.

2

.

And Valentine kicks out at the last moment. Flash gets back to his feet and goes for Valentine, but gets an elbow to the family jewels for his trouble. Valentine watches Champion over his shoulder for the rest of the match as he regains control of the match. Flash fought valiantly, but Valentines dirty tactics were just too much for the young (relatively speaking) veteran to overcome in the end. Valentine set up for the Heart Breaker again hits it this time. He makes the pin, 1....2....3.

Winner: Peter Valentine in 9:51

Rating (D-)

-Champion claps at Valentines win before pulling out a mic. Valentine cuts him off before he can speak though.

Valentine: "What the hell do you want, kid?"

Champion: "I want to ask you a question Peter."

Valentine: "To squash your dreams now, no, you aren't getting a shot at my championship."

Champion doesn't say anything as the music of USPWs commissioner, Commissioner Doom hits and he makes his way onto the ramp next to Champion.

Doom: "Conflabit, back in my day champions weren't such friggin' chickensh*ts! Frozen Dreams!, you, him, Championship. Doom has spoken."

Valentine: "What? You can't just make me defend this title any time! Sam is going to hear about-"

Doom: "Doom has spoken conflabit! Are you deaf?!"

Doom leaves the stage now and heads back through the curtains. Champion picks up his mic now.

Champion: "How's it feel to know you won't be National Champion this time next week Valentine?"

Valentine: "Why you little punk! You think I won't make you pay for this?"

Champion: "I don't think you can frankly. now why don't you clear out of the ring. I have a match, you know. Watch it and maybe you'll see how a champion should wrestle."

Valentine is furious as he scurries away holding on tight to his championship belt.

(C)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/NickyChampion_alt.jpg vs. http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FumihiroOta.jpg

-Nicky Champion vs. Fumihiro Ota-

And in our 'added at the last minute upon the realization that everything else on the card outside the main event is probably going to be a huge flop' match of the night Sam Strongs protege took on the Super Ninja.

The match itself was a fast paced back and forth match between two young guys with bright futures in USPW ahead. And yes, as far as USPW is concerned the 35 year old ninja is still a young guy. He has at least another two decades ahead of him. Anyhow the match ended up as our match of the night. Champion was able to put Ota away with a Hawkeye Hammer in the end and pick up a victory going into his title match on Saturday.

Winner: Nicky Champion in 10:20

Rating (C)

[Commercial Break]

USPW American Wrestling: Brought to you by: Robot Santa. Why is he real dammit!?

-As we did last week we now go backstage to a dark area of the arena where USPW World Champion Enygma stands with his manager Ryddle.

Ryddle: "Baine, the hour of your demise draws ever closer. Enygma will not back down from you nor will he fear you Demon. 'The strongest of all warriors are these two -- Time and Patience.' You have no patience Baine and that shall be your downfall. You can attack us Baine, all you'd like you can. 'That which does not kill me makes me stronger.' You cannot hope to understand what makes Enygma strong.

'My strength is as the strength of ten,

Because my heart is pure.'

Your reign of destruction will come to an end on Saturday Baine, make no mistake of it. 'There is no armour against fate.'"

(C)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/Enygma.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/Liberty.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/ChrisCaulfield_alt1.jpg

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/USPW/USPWVS.png

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/TysonBaine.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/T-Rex_alt1.jpghttp://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/BrucetheGiant.jpg

-Enygma, James Justice & Chris Caulfield vs. Baine, T-Rex & Bruce The Giant-

Well, not quite the rating I was hoping for here.

The match started out as a wild brawl from both teams and didn't end too much differently either. The heels used their strength and size to overpower the faces and overwhelmed them with cheap tactics and double teams. The face team though had a lot more fight than that in them and took the momentum of this match in their favor. The two teams fought wildly and after more than ten minutes of it Chris Caulfield and Bruce The Giant squared off in the middle of the ring. The two of them couldn't be contained in the ring and ended up brawling outside it and eventually both of them resorted to weapons. Bruce tossed Caulfield over the railing and went after him through the crowd as the ref called for a double DQ throwing this match out.

Winners: Draw by Double DQ in 12:05

Rating (C)

-Inside the ring Mustafa sics Baine on Enygma and Justice. Rex gets in and tries to help out his partner, but the Demon takes on both men. Back outside the ring Caulfield and Bruce fight their way through the crowd. Bruce uses his humongous fist to take Caulfield down, it being a weapon in its own right. Caulfield shows ingenuity as he borrows chairs from the fans and uses them on Bruce, smashing them over his skull and stunning the giant. The two of them eventually fight to a clearing from the fans. Caulfield smashes a chair over Bruces head one more time and then looks around to the fans, pointing up at a balcony above the exit. The crowd cheer loudly as Caulfield grabs a table near the exit door and sets it up just right. He lays the Giant down on the table and starts to make his way through the crowd up onto the balcony.

Meanwhile back in the ring The Demon From The Deep manhandles both the World Champion and Justice. Rex gets in his shots, but Baine does most of the work. Rex, wanting approval from his manager drags Justice out of the ring. Justice comes to and starts brawling with Rex. Mustafa yells for Rex to toss him back in to Baine, but Rex won't do it. Justice tries running back into the ring to help out Enygma after he knocks Rex down, but Rex grabs him by the ankle and pulls him back. Rex locks a Jurassic Crush (raised full nelson) onto Justice and dangles him up there jerking him from side to side. Rex tosses him down after a moment and picks Justice up onto his shoulders. Rex nails him with an Extinction as Justice flops onto the ground.

Back up on the balcony Caulfield continues to climb, but before he's even halfway there Bruce lies up from the table and chases after Caulfield. Once Bruce finally reaches him the two start brawling wildly again. Bruce uses his huge fists and Caulfield borrows a few more seats to smash through the giants skull. Eventually the two reach the top of the balcony. Bruce throttles Caulfield by the throat and prepares to toss him over the edge onto the small table below, but Caulfield isn't about to just let him. He wraps his arm around Bruces enormous head not letting go for anything. Bruce lets go of his throat to try to push him off. Caulfield positions himself carefully onto the ledge and drags Bruce over with him. He only gets one of the Giants legs over the railing when Bruce finally breaks free. Caulfield hangs off the edge holding on for dear life. Bruce wastes no time in going for the throat again. This time Caulfield goes right for the nutshot. Bruce keels over, one leg still hangin over the safety railing. Caulfield jumps onto Bruce and drags him down.

The two fall off the ledge and plunge 20 feet down smashing through the table.

Both Bruce and Caulfield are out. EMTs rush to the scene as quickly as they can and tend to the injured men.

Back in the ring it's down to just Baine and Enygma now. Baine looks ready to finish off Enygma when Ryddle jumps in the ring. She stands between Enygma and Baine trying to plead Baine off. Baine just stands there as though awaiting orders. Mustafa doesn't waste long in giving them, telling Baine to get rid of her. Baine does nothing though. Then a familiar theme hits the speakers.

name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="

type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="30" height="25"></embed></object>

Shane Sneer makes his way down to the ring and strolls right on in and right up to the Demon, Baine. Mustafa is speechless for once, unsure what to say. Ryddle is confused as well. Sneer hands something to Baine and then gives him a pat on the back. Sneer just flashes a smile Mustafas way as Baine takes a step towards Ryddle. Ryddle backs up, but won't back down. Then Baine uses what Sneer gave him.

From out of Baines hand a fireball shoots out right into Ryddles face. The mask catches fire as Sneer looks to Mustafa once more, grinning. EMTs scramble to make it to the ring now and extinguish the flame, Mustafa wanting in the ring as well. Baine raises his arms into the air as fire rises from the corners and scares the EMTs away, Mustafa as well. Enygma is back up and rips the mask off Ryddle stomping away to put the fire out. He checks to make sure she's okay. He stares a hole right through Baine as Baine stares right back. We fade to black with this shot.

The announcers hype up Frozen Dreams! before we go.

"Does the Demon Baine have Enygmas number or can Enygma get revenge for that heinous attack on Ryddle?"

"Join us this Saturday at Frozen Dreams! and find out brother."

(B-, B+)

Final Rating (C-)

Cable Rating (.96)

-Well, that sucked.

Post Show Recap Brought to you by: Fireballs. Shoot them at your friends today. The Fire Marshall says to:

-Andre Jones defeated Captain USA (E)
-The Hotshots defeated The Hillbillies (E+)
-Jim Force and Alicia Strong defeated Darryl Devine and Belle Bryden (C-)
-Peter Valentine defeated Steve Flash (D-)
-Nicky Champion defeated Fumihiro Ota ©
-Baine, T-Rex and Bruce The Giant drew with Enygma, James Justice and Chris Caulfield ©

<hr>

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/FrozenDreams.jpg

Final Card for USPW Frozen Dreams!

Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden

James Justice vs. T-Rex

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine

Toa vs. Andre Jones

3 points for correct winner

1 point for correct match rating

Predictions now welcome. Hopefully the show will be up sometime this weekend.

Nightshadeex · March 18, 2010

(B-)

(D)

©

Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant

(B-)

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden

©

James Justice vs. T-Rex

(C+)

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine

(D)

Toa vs. Andre Jones

(D+)

xopher316 · March 18, 2010

Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant (C-)

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden (C+)

James Justice vs. T-Rex (C-)

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine (D+)

Toa vs. Andre Jones (D)

MaxxHexx · March 18, 2010

USPW World Championship Match- Baine vs. Enygma © I think Sneer or T-Rex will be involved.

USPW National Championship Match- Nicky Champion vs. Peter Valentine © John Cena at WMXX. The first step up to the top of the company happens here.

USPW Tag Team Championship Match- The Hotshots vs. The Peoples Team © It's the future damnit!

USPW Women's Championship Match- Brazzles vs. Raven Robinson © I love Brazzles, but she is not going to win here.

Hardcore Match- Chris Caulfield vs. Bruce The Giant Either he wins, or he dies!

Alicia Strong vs. Belle Bryden Skill.

James Justice vs. T-Rex The lose here sets up an angle that leads into T-Rex' involvment in the main event.

Jim Force vs. Darryl Devine I do not like Jim Force...err, Mr. Jim Force.

Toa vs. Andre Jones THE BADdEST!

MrOnu · March 19, 2010

Ah the Hotshots... I missed them. They are always so entertaining, I'm glad you hired them in this new USPW adventure.

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