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TNA 2010: An Immortal iMPACT! Cross the Line


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Thanks for all the comments and predictions everyone. Just to let you know, the show is written and formatted for posting but I'm going to wait until the end of the day (GMT) to post it in case anyone else wants to get their predictions in. Normally I'd give a 24 hour notice but as BT decided to break the internet yesterday I couldn't post anything.

 

So, there is one more Turnbuckle News article (thanks to TheLeviticalLawKid3 for said article) to come and then the show tonight. :D

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THE SPOILS OF VICTORY

What You Need To Know, Before You Knew You Needed It

WRITTEN BY THELEVITICALLAWKID3

 

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What's up, Wrestlemaniacs? This is J. Daniels reporting for duty, giving you the inside information in US pro wrestling BEFORE everyone else. That's right. I'm like the psychic of the squared circle. The smartest of the marks. I've got what you want, basically.

 

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The big one this week is coming out of our Sports Entertainment friends in the WWE. Turns out that the brains behind the promotion are about to start a huge push for the Ghana (kayfabe Jamaican) sensation Kofi Kingston. Now, everyone knows that Kingston is due to go up against Big Show on RAW's next episode. The hot rumor is that he's going to be put over "The World's Largest Athlete", and might even make an angle appearance with a big-time main eventer like Cena or Triple H. So, on the next RAW telecast, look for Kingston to slay the giant and rub elbows with the big-timers.

 

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Also, rumors inside TNA show a possible new wave of contract offers to top indy promotion Ring of Honor. ROH has given TNA some of its best stars (Samoa Joe and Homicide, for example) their true start in the spotlight. It appears that Nashville is about to hit up Philly real soon, with offers rumored for former TNA roster member Austin (formerly "The Austin Starr") Aries and the American Wolves, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards. There are also some whispers about Tyler Black, once rumored to be going to FCW for a WWE developmental contract, getting an offer alongside the other three mentioned AND Roderick Strong, perhaps. Stay tuned to The Spoils for more info.

 

That about does it for me. Until next time, for Turnbuckle News, I'm J. Daniels...sayonara.

 

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ATTENTION

Are you a wrestling fan in the know? Have you seen a wrestling superstar being secreted into the TNA headquarters? Are you the uncle of a WWE Creative Team member? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then turnbucklenews.com needs you! If you wish to share your wrestling knowledge and/or rumours, PM jhd1 with 'Turnbuckle News' and your username in the subject and your story might even be included on our website!

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Actually AJ and Daniels started with TNA before or around the same time as with ROH so TNA did not get them from ROH.

 

My apologies, everyone. As I PM'd to jhd1, I'm usually a C-Verse type of guy and rarely look at Real World work. But I actually enjoyed doing that article a lot, so I'll keep on with it as long as jhd1 lets me.

 

Thanks for the red flag, Hyde Hill. Consider it a rookie mistake.

 

-TLLK3

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From a sold out iMPACT! Zone in Orlando, FL!

Tonight is Thursday January 11th, 2010 and this is...

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TNA iMPACT!

SHOW RATING: B

 

Your Announce Team For Tonight

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Mike Tenay & Taz

 

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TENAY: Ten days ago TNA was changed forever, the Hogan-Bischoff Era began right here in the iMPACT! Zone. I'm Mike Tenay at ringside with the 'Human Suplex Machine' Taz.

TAZ: Thanks Mike, and speaking of Hogan - this sounds like him now...

 

[iMPACT! begins with the slightly altered, but immediately recognisable Hulk Hogan theme tune. The first note of the guitar riff sends the iMPACT! Zone wild as 'Hogan' and 'TNA' chants fill the building. Hogan looks happy to be in Orlando as he makes his way to the ring, sharing the occasion with the fans on the front row. In addition to the mic in his hand, Hogan is carrying a piece of paper to the ring...]

 

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HOGAN

Didn't we tell you that TNA was changing, dudes! This company is headed right to the top, brother, and if you watched last week's iMPACT! you'll realise people like AJ Styles and Kurt Angle are going to take us there.

 

Now if all you Hulkamaniacs have been visiting tnawrestling.com or following the Boss, Dixie Carter, on 'the twitter' over the last few weeks you'll have noticed a place to vote for your favourite tag team. Well let me tell ya' somethin', the 'maniacs have been out in force and the votes were real close, dudes. But, Hulk Hogan can officially reveal that the TNA fans' favourite tag team is...

 

...the Motor City Machine Guns! Get out here, guys!

 

TENAY: The Motor City Machine Guns are the fan's favourite TNA Tag Team!

TAZ: Yeah, Alex and Chris have done some great things since they started out in TNA.

 

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[The MCMG theme tune hits the iMPACT! Zone as Sabin and Shelley make their way confidently to the ring. Judging by the noise, the entire crowd voted for the high-flying duo!]

 

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[Just as Hogan is about to congratulate MCMG, the Hulkster is cut off by the theme tune of the British Invasion. A slow, ****y walk carries Doug Williams, Brutus Magnus and Rob Terry to the ring while a surprised Hogan looks on. On their way down the aisle Williams and Magnus make an effort to show off the title belts draped over their shoulders...]

 

MAGNUS

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hogan, I don't know what poll you've been reading but clearly the true favourites should be The British Invasion. [The crowd boo even more loudly at this suggestion...] See what I mean? But even more than that, in case you've forgotten we're currently the tag team champions...

 

TAZ: Hey, he has a point - MCMG have never won tag team gold in TNA...

HOGAN

The gold around your waste only means you are the most popular target, dudes! I came down to this ring to give Shelley and Sabin the praise that these brothers deserve, but now you've interrupted my train of thought I've had another idea. As you all seem so confident, why don't you defend those titles...tonight...in front of all your fans?

 

[behind Hogan the MCMG pat each other on the back, something Hogan notices out of the corner of his eye...]

 

HOGAN

Sorry guys, but you had your shot last week and even though all the 'maniacs out there saw Rob Terry push your foot off the rope I can't just overturn the referee's decision. You've got to bide your time and earn another shot, brothers.

 

No, instead I think that Williams, Magnus – tonight, you'll be defending your titles against Beer Money Incorporated!

 

[The crowd go wild once again, although the newly crowned 'Most Popular Tag Team' of TNA, the Motor City Machine Guns, can't decide whether to be happy at their poll victory or annoyed that they didn't get the title shot. As Hogan celebrates with the crowd The British Invasion look suitably terrified at the prospect of facing James Storm and Robert Roode as they make their way back up the aisle...]

Segment Ratings: C-, C+

 

TENAY: Taz can you believe it? British Invasion against Beer Money tonight, for the titles...

TAZ: Hulk Hogan is certainly making an impact right here in TNA, haha!

 

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Hamada vs. Alissa Flash

The Knockout division continues to be pushed as a real form of women's wrestling with a solid in-ring contest between Hamada and Alissa Flash. Flash has been on a substantial losing streak, whilst Hamada became one-half of the KO Tag champions in our 3 hour special ten days ago and that momentum got her through this match. After nearly six minutes of decent action a Hamada Driver was enough to give the champion the victory.

HAMADA wins in 5:51 via pinfall.

Match Rating: C-

TENAY: Great victory for one half of the Knockout Tag champions, Hamada.

TAZ: Right, but Flash's lack of victories is starting to stand out!

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[The action cuts backstage where Desmond Wolfe is stalking the TNA iMPACT! Zone corridors, followed by new valet Chelsea. Each time Wolfe passes a staff member he asks them if they have seen 'him,' pushes them over and continues on his way. Eventually, after shouting at Chelsea to keep up, Wolfe hears the sound of a familiar voice just around the corner...]

 

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RIC FLAIR

Yeah that's right baby, all night long. That's right, call me...wooooo!

 

[it's Ric Flair! Stood in the building's foyer, Flair is handing out leaflets, and his charm, to all and sundry. It would appear that Naitch is shilling a party in Orlando this evening...]

 

Here, take this, baby...you won't want to miss a party on Space Mountain....woooooo!

 

DESMOND WOLFE

Flair, Ric, I've been looking for you all day...

 

FLAIR

Who...oh Chelsea – have you recovered from your brush with the Nature Boy last week yet!? Woooo! What is it Wolfe, I'm a little busy here...

 

[Once again Chelsea looks disturbed and flattered at the same time. Wolfe, on the other hand, just seems irritated that the conversation keeps turning back to Chelsea...]

 

WOLFE

Look Chelsea, won't you bugger off! This is a man-to-man conversation. Now Ric, I thought that little speech you made last week was pretty funny – but we both know that the berk from Harlem isn't good enough for the likes of Flair and London's finest.

 

FLAIR

Desmond...last week, Naitch saw you lose your match against Dinero. What makes you think I haven't already chosen him? Now I've made another match for you this evening against Jay Lethal...prove to me you can win and I'll consider taking you on. [Flair hands Wolfe one of his posters...] Oh, and take this – if you win, come to the party and prove to me that like the Horsemen, you can party as hard as you work....woooooo! If you don't beat Lethal, don't bother showing your face...this isn't a party for losers.

 

[The look of determination that crosses Wolfe's face is clear for all to see – he will win his match, he will join forces with Flair and like the Nature Boy, he rolls...All. Night. Long!]

Segment Rating: B

 

TENAY: Ric Flair is organising a party!?

TAZ: Don't worry if you haven't been invited Mike, I don't think you could keep up!

TENAY: Very funny Taz. We'll be right back after this short break...

 

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[We return from the break to the sight of a rather non-descript backstage area of the TNA iMPACT! Zone where 'Hardcore Legend' Mick Foley is talking somewhat desperately on the phone...]

 

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FOLEY

Jeff...wait, Jeff – look I went out and found you, brought you back to Orlando...they're forcing me out of here...I know, I know, but you've got to help me, you owe me Jeff...

 

[someone coughs behind Foley...it's Eric Bischoff!]

 

...yeah, thanks I've got to go...

 

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BISCHOFF

Mick, don't stop on my account. Planning something are we?

 

FOLEY

None of your damn business, Bischoff!

 

BISCHOFF

But you see Mick, that's where you're wrong. In TNA, everything is my business...

 

[The sight of the malevolent grin we saw last week once again flashes across Bischoff's face as he leaves a simmering Foley wondering what to do...]

Segment Rating: B+

 

TENAY: Bischoff's got something up his sleeve...

TAZ: What makes you say that Mike? The evil grin or the megalomaniac laughter after it!

 

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Desmond Wolfe (w/Chelsea) vs. Jay Lethal

Desmond Wolfe felt he needed to win this match and that was clear to everyone in the iMPACT! Zone, but most of all to Jay Lethal who had a torrid time against the Englishman. Acting like a man possessed, Wolfe gave Lethal few opportunities to get in an attack and whilst not quite a squash match, Wolfe certainly dominated throughout. After six and a half minutes a Tower of London, quickly followed by a cover, gave him the win.

DESMOND WOLFE wins in 6:52 via pinfall.

Match Rating: C+

TAZ: Boy, I bet Jay Lethal was wishing he had stayed at home after that beating!

TENAY: Wolfe clearly feeling he had a point to prove at the expense of Jay Lethal.

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[The action suddenly shifts to the office of TNA Executives Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Bischoff is talking with a female assistant who looks familiar, even if we only see her in profile. At a knock at the door, Bischoff's assistant opens it to reveal Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett looks a little uncomfortable as he enters, whilst the assistant quietly steps outside...]

 

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BISCHOFF

Ah Jeff, thanks for joining me. Now as I understand it, you've had a few problems in the past with Dixie Carter and that they were 'solved' by Mick Foley, right? [Jarrett's nod is mixed with suspicion and reticence...] So now you feel you owe Mick? [Jarrett nods again...] See Jeff, this isn't so difficult now, is it? Well, I think I've got the perfect solution to all of our 'little problems.' You see...

 

[before Bischoff can reveal his master plan his mobile phone rings. Looking at the name on the display Eric answers, indicating that it is important and Jarrett should leave. Double J looks perplexed but follows the instruction. Bischoff is careful to ensure that the camera does not overhear his conversation and we quickly head for a commercial break. When will we discover Bischoff's plan for Foley and Jarrett? What trick does 'Easy E' have up his sleeve this time?]

Segment Rating: B+

 

TENAY: We still don't know what Bischoff is planning but Taz, I don't like it...

TAZ: I think I agree but I would even more if my name were Mick Foley or Jeff Jarrett!

 

TENAY: We'll be right back after this short break when Shannon Moore's debut match on iMPACT! will be against Kiyoshi...

 

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Shannon Moore vs. Kiyoshi

Shannon Moore's in-ring debut was thoroughly typical X-division match featuring a number of high-flying spots designed to get the TNA crowd on their feet. For the most part Moore and Kiyoshi succeeded and both men came out of the match looking good. In the end Moore proved to be the more dangerous of the two and a Corkscrew Neckbreaker just after the six minute mark proved decisive.

SHANNON MOORE wins in 6:10 via pinfall.

Match Rating: C

TENAY: A great first win for Shannon Moore, and another great example of the X-Division style.

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[in the TNA interview area, 'The Charismatic Enigma' Jeff Hardy is stood alongside Christy Hemme. Hardy has lost the debuting gleem of last week and seems more focused than ever after suffering an attack at the hands of X-Division Champion Daniels last week on iMPACT!...]

 

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HEMME

Jeff last week, in this very area of the iMPACT! Zone, you were brutally attacked by Daniels. Is there anything you'd like to say to the X-Division Champ?

 

HARDY

I sure have Christy. I came to TNA because it is the best place for wrestling, the best place for entertainment and the best place for Jeff Hardy. Now, I meant no disrespect to the X-Division or Chris Daniels but no-one, and I mean no-one, sneak attacks me or my man Shannon. Daniels, you can shout all you like about being X-Division champion because come January 21st Jeff Hardy is leaving TNA GENESIS with a gold belt around his waist – yours!

Segment Rating: D+

 

TENAY: Taz, I've just been handed a note by our production team...it's confirmed, Daniels will defend his X-Division title, at Genesis, against Jeff Hardy.

TAZ: That's going to be a huge, awesome match. Haha, can't wait!

 

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[We head backstage where Kurt Angle is arguing with Hogan and Bischoff's secretary. During the argument we hear raised voices coming from off-screen and then an almighty crash. Although we again only see the back of the assistant's head, there is still something vaguely familiar about her...]

 

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ASSISTANT

Mr. Angle, I'm sorry, but Mr. Hogan is...busy right now.

 

ANGLE

Look lady, I'm sorry but I need to see Hogan and I need to see him now..

 

[Angle barges through the assistant and bursts into Hogan's office where Samoa Joe is dismantling Eric Bischoff's desk. Hogan, meanwhile, looks remarkably calm given his proximity to the large Samoan ripping a telephone out of the wall...]

 

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HOGAN

Look brother, you can trash this office all you like...hey, Kurt – I'm a little busy here...

 

ANGLE

Damnit Hogan, I want a rematch with AJ Styles and I want it at Genesis. You can't spring a match like that on me half an hour before it starts!

 

[Joe's furniture removal comes to a sudden halt at the interruption and the big Samoan is incensed that his 'meeting' has not only been disrupted, but that Angle has so far completely ignored him...]

 

JOE

I am the number one contender, I won the Feast or Fired match last month! Angle you got gifted a title shot last week – a shot I should have had – and you blew it. Now it's my turn.

 

HOGAN

Joe – I was quite prepared to give you your title shot before you came in here and tore the place apart, brother. But I'm management now, dudes, and I can't let the crew boss me around. Both of you want to face AJ Styles at Genesis – like everyone else in the back you're going to have to go out there and prove to me you deserve it. Angle, Joe...

 

...you'll be facing each other one-on-one for Joe's Feast or Fired case in tonight's main event!

 

Now get the hell out of my office!

 

[As Joe and Angle square up to each other, Hogan stands up, ready to interject if necessary...]

 

ANGLE

Joe, I promise you this...I will be the one to face AJ Styles at Genesis – it's real, damn real.

 

[Angle is the first to leave the room before Joe storms out, thankfully heading in a different direction. Hogan falls back into his chair and lets out a huge sigh of relief just as his assistant re-enters the office...]

Segment Rating: B+

 

TENAY: Folks, what a main event we have for you - Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle for the right to face AJ Styles at Genesis.

TAZ: It's going to be tough for Angle after the grueling match he had last week, but it'll be a classic, no doubt.

TENAY: Of that I am in no doubt. We're headed to a commercial break but when we return we'll have Morgan & Hernandez against the team of Kevin Nash and Eric Young before tag title action when Beer Money take on the champions, The British Invasion.

TAZ: And don't forget, at the end of the show Angle and Samoa Joe go head-to-head! This is great!

 

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[before our next match we see a short video hyping the team of Matt Morgan and Hernandez. The short recap serves to highlight the team's quick rise through the tag ranks and also informs us that Morgan & Hernandez will challenge for the tag team championship at Genesis, regardless of the winners of tonight's title match between Beer Money and British Invasion...]

Segment Rating: C

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Morgan & Hernandez vs. Nash & Young

Morgan & Hernandez make sure they head to Genesis with the momentum after a solid victory over the odd pairing of Kevin Nash and Eric Young. Young seemed out of sorts this evening and Matt Morgan took advantage of that, keeping him away from Nash wherever possible. When Nash finally tagged in his team saw a brief resurgance but it was to be Hernandez who got the pin after hitting Eric Young with a Border Toss.

MORGAN & HERNANDEZ win in 7:49 via pinfall.

Match Rating: B-

TENAY: Another great win for the team of Morgan & Hernandez, Taz...

TAZ: You're right, and whether they face Beer Money or British Invasion at Genesis, you know there will be right there at the end.

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[We're on another shaky camera run as our camera-man chases Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich towards the TNA interview area. As we slow it becomes clear that the two Beautiful People are chasing after someone themselves - 'Pope' D'Angelo Dinero. Realising he is being followed, Dinero turns to address the knockouts...]

 

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SKY

Hey Pope, it's great of you to be throwing this party but Lacey and I had one question...you will be making sure that no uglies will be turning up, right? I mean, I don't want Gigantic Kong or Alissa 'look I can draw on my face too' Flash putting me off my champagne...

 

LACEY

Velvet - that is soooooo true...

 

DINERO

Now I just about understood the words that you said...but Pope don't have a clue what you are talking about. Pope ain't throwing no party...

 

LACEY

But we got the flyer...[Lacey hands a sheet of paper over to Dinero who looks it over quizzically...]

 

DINERO

Who gave you that...wait...old dude, white hair, funny walk? [Lacey nods...] Man, what is he playing at. Fine...ladies, if the Pope's throwing a party for the congregation y'all better get yourselves ready for a wild night! I'll show him 'all night long!'

 

[While Dinero heads off screen Lacey and Velvet do what could only be described as a girly-mini-celebration dance before we head back to ringside...]

Segment Rating: C

 

TAZ: Ha! It wasn't Flair hosting the party after all - it was Pope...and he didn't even know about it!

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TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

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Beer Money Inc. vs. The British Invasion © (w/Rob Terry)

Beer Money were on the offence from the bell in this match, a steely determination that nearly won them the title on several occasions. Williams and Magnus got in some good offence, Williams in particular showcased his excellent mat skills, but for the most part the team of Roode and Storm looked the most likely to claim a victory. Once again 'Big' Rob Terry would prove to be the decider in a British Invasion title match when Doug Williams was hit by the DWI. The crowd were ready to congratulate their new champions when at the second count Williams suddenly disappeared from underneath Storm's pin...Rob Terry had pulled him out of the ring by his feet! Terry picked Williams up and together with Magnus walked back up the aisle, making sure to grab their title belts on the way. With the champions outside the ring, referee Rudy Charles had no chance but to count them out. Beer Money may have won but the belts don't change hands tonight!

BEER MONEY INC. win in 8:14 via count-out. BRITISH INVASION retain their titles.

Match Rating: C+

TENAY: Once again the British Invasion rely on Rob Terry to get the out of jail...

TAZ: It's a clever tactic - Beer Money looked certain to get the win there...

TENAY: I hope you are not condoning those actions, Taz. Well now we know - at Genesis The British Invasion will face Morgan & Hernandez for the TNA World Tag Team Titles. We'll be back after this...

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[As Angle and Joe make their way to the ring we see the events of earlier on this evening involving the two competitors and Hulk Hogan. Mike Tenay then reiterates that this match will decide AJ Styles' challenger at Genesis.]

Segment Rating: B-

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/Cards/KurtAngle.jpghttp://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/Cards/VS.jpghttp://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/Cards/SamoaJoe.jpg

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Another classic matchup graces an iMPACT! main event as Samoa Joe took on Kurt Angle. In a tense encounter both men looked like winning the match more than once. Joe's punches and kicks were met with Angle's suplexes and takedowns to create an excellent display of wrestling. Things looked to be all over for the only Olympic gold medallist in professional wrestling when Samoa Joe had him lined up for the Muscle Buster. Although Angle tried desperately to wriggle his way loose it seemed to everyone watching that Joe was about to get the victory. Out of nowhere Angle freed an arm and struck Joe in the head once....twice....three times. Angle slipped down behind his opponent and hit a falling facebuster to take the Samoan out. Revitalised, Angle tore the straps of his singlet from his shoulders and shouted to the crowd...Ankle Lock! The submission lasted for what seemed an age, the pain etched on Joe's face he refused to tap-out. Eventually Earl Hebner had to step in a declare the match over – Joe passed out from the pain and Angle won the right to face AJ Styles at Genesis!

KURT ANGLE wins in 12:01 via submission.

Match Rating: B

 

[both men gave their all in another fantastic iMPACT! main event but we're not quite done yet. With Angle's hand still being raised by referee Earl Hebner a familiar sound announces Eric Bischoff's entrance. The new TNA Executive walks to the ring clapping, a mic held in one hand...]

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/Cards/EricBischoff.jpg

BISCHOFF

Great match, guys, great match. Now I have the greatest respect for Hulk Hogan, he's one of my closest friends – but I think the way he went about this main event was...wrong. Now I know a lot of people don't like Samoa Joe, but I do, I really do. He kicks ass, takes names and doesn't make any friends and you know, I respect that. Maybe he crosses the line once in a while but that's okay. I mean, who doesn't? Now I have the power overturn the stipulation of this match and return the case to Joe but...you know what? I'm not going to do that.

 

No...I'll admit – after tonight, Kurt Angle you've earned your rematch with AJ Styles at Genesis. But because I think it is only fair - on January 25th's imPACT!, the winner of that match will defend the World title against Samoa Joe, right here in the iMPACT! Zone! Thank you all, and good night!

Segment Rating: B+

 

© TNA 2010: An Immortal iMPACT! Cross the Line

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Great start JHD; I'm caught up after somehow missing that this existed until now.

 

And I'm humbled to get the shout out at the beginning, too. :)

 

Just so you know, I may be "borrowing" the format that you use for the other industry news stuff. It's really cool and catchy.

 

Keep up the good work.

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Just wanted to thank everyone again for the comments and predictions. Unlike Battle for Prime Time I am booking this more as I go along (I'll still be a few weeks ahead, but not the three months of BfPT) and on the basis of some of the comments I have actually changed the plans for a couple of people.

 

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the show - there will be some more 'news' up tomorrow along with the next prediction card.

 

Great start JHD; I'm caught up after somehow missing that this existed until now.

 

And I'm humbled to get the shout out at the beginning, too. :)

 

Just so you know, I may be "borrowing" the format that you use for the other industry news stuff. It's really cool and catchy.

 

Keep up the good work.

 

Thanks NoNeck, glad you have enjoyed the diary so far! The shout-out was well deserved, as well :D

 

As for the format borrowing - I must admit the inspiration for that came from jw_forever's 2006 diary (with a few additions of my own) but go for it!

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TNA GETS F'N IMMORTAL

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/PETERHILTON.jpg

ARTICLE WRITTEN BY PURE HATRED (AKA PETERHILTON)

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

OK, you basement loving mouth-breathers, it's time for another session with the Doctor of Truth, the only internet journalist not afraid to tell it like it, the only writer on-line less appropriate than a whoopee cushion at a wake..your's truly..PURE HATRED!

 

Now as you all know, I don't watch TNA. I never have. Even when they've signed guys I like, I can't get on board. I came close when they brought in Big Poppa Pump...but I just couldn't do it.And that was tough. BPP is so awesome he's like a cross between Abobo from Double Dragon and a triple dose of Cialis.

 

For years, TNA has been just too much like these indy feds YOU losers love so much...with all these little tiny guys flipping all over the place and moving like they just swallowed a bunch of angry hornets. If I watch wrestling I want those guys to be as big and muscular as possible when they're rolling around on top of one another.

 

(Huh? You think that's funny..? You questioning the manhood of Pure Hatred? Well forget about it...If you really wanna know about my manliness, ask YO MAMA! Boo Ya!)

 

Anyway...like I was saying...TNA is balls.

 

Until now.

 

Because they have the one and only...the single most manly man since Abe Lincoln...Thunderlips himself...the 'Immortal' Hulk Hogan.

 

How could I resist? And I must admit, I was pretty impressed. The show where the Hulkster debuted featured some good talent, some guys I recognized (Kurt Angle is alive???) and some young cats that look like they might be worth keeping an eye on - Matt Morgan is the goods, mark my words.

 

There was still a lot of generic flippy guys wasting my time. And after a single episode, the booking team STILL has not handed the belt over to Hulk Hogan...which is absolutely the worst booking decision since Frank Gotch was forced to job to Father Time...but it was definitely worth the watch. I'll be staying tuned.

 

In other news...

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

...Bret Hart's appearance on RAW is leading to speculation that he may somehow be involved at Wrestlemania. And not just in some angle with Vince McMahon, either. We're talking a full-blown match to pay off the Montreal Screwjob that happened so long ago.

 

Would seeing Bret Hart in the ring with Vince at WM be one of the more surreal moments ever?

 

I mean it..tell me. I honestly don't know. I never paid attention. He's Canadian. It didn't seem important.

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

...Now that Bobby Lashley is gone from TNA, will he return to the 'E? He certainly has the look and the background. And they have to feel as though they wasted a ton of money by running that Don Trump angle on a guy that just walked away.

 

But Bobby DID walk away. How do you trust him? Also, he never seemed to truly have the "it" quality that would've made him an elite star and the buy-rates of his match with Cena reflected that.

 

Also..his head looks like a Milk Dud. That never sat right with me.

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

...Finally, rumors are going around that TNA is trying to actually push it's flippy guy division, and that they've decided to look beyond just the US. The "big prize" would be someone like Mistico, who many of you wrestling nerds would remember was being touted by goobers like Gerweck and Meltzer as 'THE BIGGEST DRAW IN WRESTLING' back in '07 and '08. Yeah, he headlined for some enormous crowds, but c'mon fellas...it's Mexico. I don't think it counts if fans can buy tickets with packs of livestock.

 

The problem is - as Pure Hatred sees it - that those guys no speak the English good, vato. If it were me, I'd bring them in with a manager. Maybe Konnan? Yeah, he has bad blood with TNA over some lawsuits about pay he thinks he's owed. But he's an established part of TNA's lineage, he's fantastic on the mic, and he's known by American fans...especially those Monday Night Wars fans TNA is trying to get to come back to wrestling.

 

I mean...if Bret can work with Vince, who's to say Konnan and Jeff Jarrett can't bury the hatchet?

 

And yes..I know about Bret's history with Vince. I'm not an idiot. This is wrestling column. I'm in character. Duh.

 

God, you Wrestling Nerds can be so sensitive.

 

'Til next time....

 

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<table><tr><td>http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/Logos/TNA.jpg</td><td>TURNBUCKLENEWS PREDICTION CONTEST UPDATE

 

Turnbucklenews.com is proud to say that our first ever prediction contest has been a huge success. Many thanks to the 17 (!!!) people that took part this week. We'd also like to send out a welcome to angeldelayette, ChrisKid, Zergon, 20LEgend, 1234, nick21985 and Hashasheen. Here is the leaderboard after Round 2;

 

8 Points: Bigpapa42, BHK1978

7 Points: Kijar, TheEffect, TheLeviticalLawKid3

6 Points: Hyde Hill, Jingo

5 Points: sebsplex, Arogue, alden

4 Points: The Celt, jw_forever, Yoshida, angeldelayette, Zergon, 20LEgend, 1234, Hashasheen

3 Points: Eisen-Verse, ChrisKid

2 Points: nick21985

 

Don't forget that after 15 shows the person with the most correct predictions will win an exciting, albeit as yet undecided, prize!</tr></td></table>

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

<table><tr><td>http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/Logos/iMPACT.jpg</td><td>18/1/10 iMPACT! PREVIEW RELEASED

 

As Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan continue to stamp their authority on the TNA locker-room, we are just days away from TNA Genesis. But first we head for iMPACT! where we see Jeff Hardy's return to the ring against 'Big Sexy' Kevin Nash. Meanwhile Rhino takes on former owner Jeff Jarrett while Velvet Sky takes on Taylor Wilde. With The British Invasion set to take on Morgan & Hernandez at Genesis, Eric Bischoff has arranged a singles match featuring one representative from each team. Finally, in X-Division action new champion Daniels takes on the man he took the title from 17 days ago: Amazing Red.

 

Velvet Sky vs. Taylor Wilde

Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Daniels © vs. Amazing Red

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Hardy

 

Plus, Team 3D return from their tour in Japan and Ric Flair continues his pursuit of the 'Pope' D'Angelo Dinero, Desmond Wolfe and, most of all, Chelsea. Be sure to catch all this, and more, only on Spike TV!</td></tr></table>

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Velvet Sky vs. Taylor Wilde

Uhmm random pick, really.

 

Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams

Knowing where these guys are now it´s too hard for me to go against Morgan.

 

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Daniels © vs. Amazing Red

Daniels have a date with Hardy so he isn´t losing here

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

This one is hard, Jarrett is old and all but Rhino isn´t great either...guess I go with Jarrett then since he is likely having more important role right now.

 

Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Hardy

Sorry Nash but you aren´t winning this one.

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TNA GETS F'N IMMORTAL

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/PETERHILTON.jpg

ARTICLE WRITTEN BY PURE HATRED (AKA PETERHILTON)

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

OK, you basement loving mouth-breathers, it's time for another session with the Doctor of Truth, the only internet journalist not afraid to tell it like it, the only writer on-line less appropriate than a whoopee cushion at a wake..your's truly..PURE HATRED!

 

Now as you all know, I don't watch TNA. I never have. Even when they've signed guys I like, I can't get on board. I came close when they brought in Big Poppa Pump...but I just couldn't do it.And that was tough. BPP is so awesome he's like a cross between Abobo from Double Dragon and a triple dose of Cialis.

 

For years, TNA has been just too much like these indy feds YOU losers love so much...with all these little tiny guys flipping all over the place and moving like they just swallowed a bunch of angry hornets. If I watch wrestling I want those guys to be as big and muscular as possible when they're rolling around on top of one another.

 

(Huh? You think that's funny..? You questioning the manhood of Pure Hatred? Well forget about it...If you really wanna know about my manliness, ask YO MAMA! Boo Ya!)

 

Anyway...like I was saying...TNA is balls.

 

Until now.

 

Because they have the one and only...the single most manly man since Abe Lincoln...Thunderlips himself...the 'Immortal' Hulk Hogan.

 

How could I resist? And I must admit, I was pretty impressed. The show where the Hulkster debuted featured some good talent, some guys I recognized (Kurt Angle is alive???) and some young cats that look like they might be worth keeping an eye on - Matt Morgan is the goods, mark my words.

 

There was still a lot of generic flippy guys wasting my time. And after a single episode, the booking team STILL has not handed the belt over to Hulk Hogan...which is absolutely the worst booking decision since Frank Gotch was forced to job to Father Time...but it was definitely worth the watch. I'll be staying tuned.

 

In other news...

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

...Bret Hart's appearance on RAW is leading to speculation that he may somehow be involved at Wrestlemania. And not just in some angle with Vince McMahon, either. We're talking a full-blown match to pay off the Montreal Screwjob that happened so long ago.

 

Would seeing Bret Hart in the ring with Vince at WM be one of the more surreal moments ever?

 

I mean it..tell me. I honestly don't know. I never paid attention. He's Canadian. It didn't seem important.

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

...Now that Bobby Lashley is gone from TNA, will he return to the 'E? He certainly has the look and the background. And they have to feel as though they wasted a ton of money by running that Don Trump angle on a guy that just walked away.

 

But Bobby DID walk away. How do you trust him? Also, he never seemed to truly have the "it" quality that would've made him an elite star and the buy-rates of his match with Cena reflected that.

 

Also..his head looks like a Milk Dud. That never sat right with me.

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/BlackFade.jpg

 

...Finally, rumors are going around that TNA is trying to actually push it's flippy guy division, and that they've decided to look beyond just the US. The "big prize" would be someone like Mistico, who many of you wrestling nerds would remember was being touted by goobers like Gerweck and Meltzer as 'THE BIGGEST DRAW IN WRESTLING' back in '07 and '08. Yeah, he headlined for some enormous crowds, but c'mon fellas...it's Mexico. I don't think it counts if fans can buy tickets with packs of livestock.

 

The problem is - as Pure Hatred sees it - that those guys no speak the English good, vato. If it were me, I'd bring them in with a manager. Maybe Konnan? Yeah, he has bad blood with TNA over some lawsuits about pay he thinks he's owed. But he's an established part of TNA's lineage, he's fantastic on the mic, and he's known by American fans...especially those Monday Night Wars fans TNA is trying to get to come back to wrestling.

 

I mean...if Bret can work with Vince, who's to say Konnan and Jeff Jarrett can't bury the hatchet?

 

And yes..I know about Bret's history with Vince. I'm not an idiot. This is wrestling column. I'm in character. Duh.

 

God, you Wrestling Nerds can be so sensitive.

 

'Til next time....

 

http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx181/jhdTEW/TNA/News/NewsBanner.jpg

Amazing work, Peter. I'm honored to be a fellow Turnbuckle News guy when I read content like this. Simply amazing. Speaking of, jhd1, I've sent you a PM asking for anymore news-worthy stuff that J.D. can spoil. He's a heartless son-of-a-gun, no doubt.

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Amazing work, Peter. I'm honored to be a fellow Turnbuckle News guy when I read content like this. Simply amazing. Speaking of, jhd1, I've sent you a PM asking for anymore news-worthy stuff that J.D. can spoil. He's a heartless son-of-a-gun, no doubt.

 

Thanks...Turnbuckle News is already one of the better internet wrestling news sites around...:)

 

And yeah, jhd1, if you want some more news bits I probably have some content ready based on Flair/Wolfe/Pope.

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Velvet Sky vs. Taylor Wilde

Guess.

 

Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams

He seems to be on the rise.

 

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Daniels © vs. Amazing Red

Even TNA wouldnt have Red win the title here.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

JJ is more important, and will only lose if distracted/attacked.

 

Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Hardy

Wish I could say Nash, but Hardy is probably worth more.

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Velvet Sky vs. Taylor Wilde

Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Daniels © vs. Amazing Red

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

It'll prob go the other way but this is my way of showing my support to Double J.

Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Hardy

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Velvet Sky vs. Taylor Wilde

I see sky winning this one but not sure

 

Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams

Morgan wins this one no question.

 

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Daniels © vs. Amazing Red

I am a fan of red but daniels is going to win i think.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

no brainer on this one

 

Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Hardy

With how you have been going with nash i don't see him winning. This is something i like about the diary. Very diffrent then real life.

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Velvet Sky vs. Taylor Wilde

It's The Beautiful People! Ridding TNA of one ugly person at a time!

 

Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams

Morgan builds momentum for his team and the tag team title shot while one half of the champs looks vulnerable.

 

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Daniels © vs. Amazing Red

The only amazing thing about this match is if Red gets out of it alive.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

I'm torn for this one. I can see it going both ways. What tops it is Simply Irresistable Jeff Jarrett.

 

Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Hardy

The Charismatic Enigma wins and sells more cds for his band.

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Velvet Sky vs. Taylor Wilde

Because Beautiful People deserve to win matches of this sort. I mean, it's a no-brainer...and those of you who pick Taylor are UGLY. Paper bags will be available for you after the show.

 

Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams

Who's Douglas Williams?

 

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Daniels © vs. Amazing Red

Oh, Amazing Red...you are so brave for coming to take your title back. Tylenol will be your best friend after this one.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

War Machine = No Talent, especially against the owner.

 

Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Hardy

One of the only pickups I've liked about real TNA.

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