Eidenhoek Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 It feels like days since I've started this day, yet here I am, still waiting on a line of people, a line of emplyees, a line of faces that I'll see every month. It's kind of like Thanksgiving, I guess. See the family, never talk to them again until next year. Except I'm paying these people and they all hate me. So yeah, kind of like Thanksgiving. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26301123985.jpg Avatar: So where's Cloak? Dagger: Cute, real cute. Avatar: Nah, I know it's Mimic that's your buddy. Problem is, he's not on the roster. Dagger: His loss, then. How much am I getting? Avatar: $200 for 15 months. Dagger: Maybe you didn't hear me- Avatar: No, it's my bad. I mis-spoke. What are you getting? Nothing. Get your ass out of here. After looking at myself, I noticed that I liked Obama. Not as much as some people, granted, but sure as hell not liking...uh... Well, when it's not election time, there's not really a conservative leader, is there...that and there's going to be argument over how liberal or conservative a particular person is, and the other argument about how the Democrat and Republican parties are not liberal nor conservative themselves, more of a different axis with points residing in common quadrants. Then Satan walked in. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26301160446.jpg Avatar: So this is hell? Diablo: Heh, no, not hell. Avatar: But you're from Canada... Diablo: Yeah. That a problem? Avatar: That would mean Canada is hell. And Canada is up. So...heaven...is beneath us...heaven is Mexico? Diablo: Well, there is an Angel of Mexico. http://images.pictureshunt.com/pics/h/high_five-2495.jpg Avatar: So let's say...15 months at $100? Diablo: You can do better than that. Avatar: $150? Diablo: Hell's kind of far away, kid. Avatar: Fine. And travel; sign here. From the gates to the hounds of hell...I'm gonna tear it off...I mean Honey Golightly's dress...And we're gonna rent a room... http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26301240457.jpg Eric: Am I interrupting something? Avatar: Nah, just turn over the cd. Eric: One, that's stupid. Two, I don't do that anymore. Avatar: That's what your mom said last night. http://cdn.mobilephun.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Burn-Wallpaper1.jpg Eric: You're an ass. Avatar: But I'm humble. Selfish, but humble. So how about 15/$100? Eric: Do I get to kick your ass? Avatar: I'll make it $150 if you don't. Eric: ...and travel. Avatar: I'll keep my ass, then. Good luck in the company. Now if it had been Honey or Sara? Hell, they wouldn't just be able to kick my ass, they could http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26301282173.jpg Avatar: ALIEN! Extraordinario: Where? I can't see, man. Avatar: Sucks to be you. Extraordinario: I hate Obama, by the way. Avatar: Yeah, so does Miss Information. Extraordinario: You gotta be ****ing me. Avatar: Yeah, I know. Look at this: http://img213.imagevenue.com/loc388/th_34647_Stacy-Keibler_WWE-Divas-Undressed_Schoolgirl-Outfit_20070816235359_122_388lo.jpg Extraordinario: ... Avatar: Dude...DUDE! Extraordinario: You're a ****ing dick. I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THIS MASK! Avatar: Then lose it. Extraordinario: Pay me. Avatar: **** off. Extraordinario: Fine. What's the offer? Avatar: 15 months, $100 per appearance. Extraordinario: A blind man is worth more than that. Especially one who has to travel. Avatar: $150? Extraordinario: Read my lips: TRAVEL, ****WAD! Avatar: This conversation is far more explicit than it probably was. Extraordinario: And you didn't even use the picture of Stacy showing off her ass. Avatar: I thought you couldn't see. Extraordinario: No, you can't see me. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-evANTsKv7RU/TawCG94u-sI/AAAAAAAAACw/jqqjCFpnsd4/s1600/wwe-john-cena-you-can-t-see-me-pendant-1783-p%255B1%255D.jpg He must have left. I wasn't certain, because his bling knocked me out. SPEAKING OF KNOCKOUTS http://www4.images.coolspotters.com/wallpapers/39151/xena-warrior-princess-mobile-wallpaper.jpg Geena: What are you looking at? Avatar: Not your expensive ass. Get out of here. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26301385573.jpg Yeah, I made the right choice. I just needed to find Xabrielle and see if she was cheaper. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26301413420.jpg Avatar: How's the polio, sis? Jayson: Surprisingly, haven't heard that one before. Avatar: Maybe it's because your head is aging more rapidly in the center. Jayson: ...You haven't been laid yet, have you? Avatar: They always run away ;_; Hall: Offer them a Dos Equis. Avatar: ****ING GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DRINK DAMMIT! http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com/pictures/t/travisbain/03.jpg Avatar: ;_____; Jayson: So...money? Avatar: 15 months; $100. Jayson: Tomko? Avatar: Fine...$150? Jayson: Travel? Avatar: Fine. Who the **** is Tomko? http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26301461515.jpg Avatar: How'd you like to roll in the deep with Honey Golightly? Stones: Ha, that's a great offer, but I'm not going to besmirch her honour by entertaining that proposition. Avatar: Why? Stones: I'm British. Surely Dunton Hall, your boss, can explain it. Hall: He's not going to **** her without getting to know her first. Avatar: That's decidely not a very British way of putting it. Hall: I suppose not. Then again, had I explained it in a British manner, it'd take one of you Americans a couple hundred years to rebel and ask the French for help in translating it. http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/bve/lowres/bven674l.jpg Stones: In any case, I would be honoured to work with her and behold her majesty, as I have heard. Avatar: Heh heh..."behold" her "majesty"...I get what you're saying... Stones: What...am I saying? Hall: You want to grab her tits. Stones: What does a mouse have to do with this? http://images.media.nscdn.com/index.php?src=http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm232/mintkiller/facepalm.jpg&size=400x1000 Avatar: 15 months for $150? Stones: I do not want to put this indelicately, but I believe you might be offering me not enough money. Avatar: $200? Stones: I must confess that travel will have to be arranged. Avatar: Figures. Stones: Then we shall meet in a week. Avatar: Oh, right, Exclusive PPA. Good job, 21CW. I needed a break after that. Where's a Snickers? http://www.cardiohaters.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/92_mr_t_snickers1.jpg OHGODOHGODOHGOD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowjorden Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Avatar: JUST A SMALLTOWN GIRL! Elegance: Don't. Avatar: LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD! Elegance: God...why? Avatar: SHE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANNNNNYYYYYWHEEEEEERE! It's pieces like THIS that make me continue to follow EIDENHOEK! Kudos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timber Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 This whole thing makes me wonder about EIDENHOEK's upbringing. And if lives too close to a nuke plant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 This whole thing makes me wonder about EIDENHOEK's upbringing. And if lives too close to a nuke plant. OOC: If you mean the character, possibly. If you mean the company, it's unlikely to be by a plant. If you mean me, then...WATCH THE VIDEO I POSTED DO IT DO IT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 Today's been really long. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not actually part of someone's game, turning me on and off as they please. Of course, if they wanted to turn me on, they'd edit Honey's outfit to be clear. So I guess I'm not in a game. Or the game player hates me. Eh. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26315511794.jpg Avatar: You're going to work a superhero gimmick. Kirk: Why? Avatar: Look what it did for Atom Smasher. Kirk: Well...I guess so. Avatar: And following in his footsteps, your name will be: Captain Kirk. Kirk: I hate you. Avatar: So, 15 months and $100? Kirk: Has anyone taken that offer? Avatar: Can't remember. $150? Kirk: I'm going to make you pay me travel just so you have to go through all this again. Avatar: It was the Star Trek reference, wasn't it? Kirk: Yep. He was probably mad he didn't get to hook up with Simona Cox. Fun fact about her: she's totally going to have Lister as her mistress. Wait, not mistress. Mister? What the hell is a male mistress? Master? Yeah. Master Lister and Mr. and Mrs. Cole. And no, I'm not going to make a pun with her last name. That's too easy. Much like her. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26316260173.jpg Avatar: You need to get a little sun. Marc: That was vague. Avatar: And speaking of sun, looks like you're a little parched. Hey Dr. Hall, could you-OH WAIT YOU'RE 20 HA HA NO DOS EQUIS FOR YOU! http://www.burkedist.com/bdc/images/stories/imported-draught/dos-equis-lager.gif Avatar: Yeah, none of that. Wait, what's that fine print? http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26316302749.jpg Avatar: ...Don't suppose he gave you one for me, did he? Marc: I got the last one. Avatar: I haven't had any fluids IN A WHOLE DAY! Marc: Air's a fluid. Avatar: This is why chemists don't get laid. Marc: Fall Out Boy got laid. Avatar: You do realize that's an incredibly obscure reference, right? Marc: You do realize you're supposed to be offering me a contract, right? Avatar: 15/$100. Marc: No. Avatar: Hey a dog! Hi dog! Awww you're going to sleep... Marc: You don't break the fourth wall well. Avatar: $150? Marc: Travel. Avatar: Done. Yeah, Kendall's going to sleep. Aw...yeah, you can sleep in the hall. That's fine. I'll just be here. It's okay. Yeah...yeah, that's cute. I'm going to take a picture, okay? Oh! I took your picture! Ah, okay, now you're back asleep...wait, you moved. I can't see you anymore. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26316425311.jpg Avatar: Ah, da silva tongue mon! How it do, boy? Mario: I'm Brazilian. If you don't want me to break your arm, shut up. Avatar: That's a bit antisocial. Mario: Offer. Avatar: 15/$100, like everyone. Mario: No. Avatar: $150 and travel? Mario: Ok. I had hit up much of ACPW's roster. Let's head a little South... http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26317245427.jpg Avatar: You'd be a fine addition to the roster. To that extent, I'll offer you $200 per appearance for 15 months. Lucha: I think you can do a bit better. Avatar: After Mr. Lucha II? Hell no. Amusingly, Swarm I isn't doing that badly. Huh. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26317272986.jpg Avatar: You know, I still don't get why ROF fired you. Nigel: They didn't fire me. Avatar: Oh. Right...yeah, they didn't. Must have been thinking of...um... http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/314/19eb5.jpg Nigel: That's a nice colour on her. Avatar: But it'd be even better off her, am I right? Nigel: No. Because then she'd be embarrassed, and that's rather mean. Avatar: Oh. Nigel: Yeah. Avatar: So...can you work for $50? Nigel: I'm not sure you know how to deal with people. Avatar: Fine, $100 for 15 months? Nigel: With travel? Avatar: Okay. I only had about 7 more people, but I decided to let them wait. Besides...come on! Her boobs are huge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 I woke up. I needed to talk to Dr. Hall, but maybe I would later. Also, there is a woman in my office. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403123091.jpg Avatar: Dude! You're like...twice my age! Are you my mom? Nikki: I would not have a child so weak. Avatar: Nikki: Yes, cry your tears of shame. Avatar: I would if SOMEONE WOULD GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DRINK! Hall: What was that? Sorry, I was doing my job and could not hear you. Nikki: What, you want to drink from mommy's breast? Avatar: Uh... Nikki: Pathetic. Little boys these days, so fixated on fat. Muscle, muscle is power. Not those flopping around harlots. Avatar: So...you're too expensive for us. Nikki: I would care, except that you are a meaningless insult to the male species. And that's when I learned what the phrase "tearing you a new one" meant. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403171234.jpg Avatar: Better watch out. I heard there be some sky pirates looking to steal some booty! King: ... Avatar: Because you're Sky King. King: ... Avatar: So you have riches. Which pirates want. King: I thought you were saying you were a butt pirate. Avatar: What? No! King: Huh. Then why'd you hire Honey Golightly? Avatar: I...uh, but, that's not what- King: Yeah, that's not what you think about. Tell you what; I'll let you humiliate yourself alone while I walk out, because frankly, I'm damn well better than what you can afford. And don't stare at my ass as I leave, or I will break your nose. I was tempted to look, just to see if he'd actually break my nose. JUST TO SEE IF HE'D BREAK MY NOSE DAMMIT! http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403210377.jpg Avatar: What happened to Slim 4? Slim: I cut him. Avatar: From the group? Slim: From his balls. Avatar: Oh. So...I have a feeling 15 months at $100 isn't going to work. Slim: I'm going to pretend you didn't just offer me that, because nothing about it keeps my blade from your crotch. Avatar: I'd think you were hitting on me were I female and not peeing myself right now. Hall: I thought you had no liquids in you. Avatar: I'm pissing blood. Hall: You probably should get that looked at by a doctor. Avatar: You're a doctor. Hall: You are urinating blood. Avatar: Thanks. Hall: $200. Avatar: Can I charge it to the company account? Hall: The company did not piss its pants. Avatar: ...Touche. Slim: So...what's up? Avatar: A year at $150. Slim: Got some boys in Canada I need to visit. Avatar: And you'll be able to travel. Goodbye. Some people, when they've peed blood all over their pants, some people will take a break to change pants. Me? Hell, I do my damn job. I don't get paid to take breaks. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403264111.jpg Avatar: I should have changed my pants. Stretch: I'M A CHICKEN! Avatar: 15 months at $100 no wait I forgot travel what you'll work that cheap IMAGINE THAT goodbye. I promised myself I'd never kill a man. But dammit, I really wanted to choke that chicken. WAIT FU http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403282191.jpg Avatar: Here's the title belt. Taylor: Serious? Avatar: Just kidding. Taylor: An 18-year-old to another: you're a dick. Avatar: 15 at $100? Taylor: No. Avatar: $150? Taylor: No. Avatar: Travel? Taylor: Fine. I was going to punch him, but he left too quickly. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403311013.jpg Avatar: You look like a murderer. Tempest: What's the plan? Avatar: I don't offer your over-rated ass anything. Bye. OH YEAH I'm awesome. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403323063.jpg Avatar: So are you terrorizing Toronto, or are you merely from Toronto? Toronto: Toronto, TERRORIZE! And then he was a reptile/insect. Avatar: Lol autobots were way cooler. 15/$100? Toronto: More money and travel. Avatar: $150? Toronto: And travel. Avatar: Done. And then an awesome guy walked in. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403435357.jpg Wizard: I am the Wizard of Ottawa come to grant your wishes. Avatar: Honey's boobs in my face. Wizard: ...****. Avatar: That's what I thought. Wizard: No, I mean, had you told me earlier, I could have gotten her from Hall's office. Avatar: Sure, I'll rage about that in a second, but...is Hall's office...in the hall? Wizard: No. It's in the ivory tower over there. You might be able to make out the parapet. Avatar: If he's way over there, how am I over here? Wizard: Dehydration-induced coma. Avatar: Oh. Wizard: What's the offer? Avatar: 15 months at $100. Wizard: How about no? Avatar: 12 months; $150? Wizard: Travel. Avatar: YOU'RE A WIZARD! Wizard: Travel. Magic is expensive. Avatar: I'll conjure money out your ass...Okay then. I hate travel. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403491537.jpg Avatar: LOL YOU CAN HAVE A PIRATE GIMMICK AND BE CAPTAIN MORGAN A spear went through the door of my office and about half an inch from my ear. Avatar: Captain...Dos...Equis? Another spear went through my office door. This one had a happy face on it. Unfortunately, it did not have a drink. Thomas: Shut up. Avatar: Fine. Didn't get my break either but you don't see me crying. Thomas: You've pissed your pants. Avatar: I BLED OUT OF FEAR! Thomas: ... Avatar: That's...not any better, is it? Thomas: No. Avatar: 15 months at $150? Thomas: I'd like merch and travel. Avatar: Okay, okay. $200? Thomas: Still need travel. Avatar: Done. I extricated the spears from the wall. And by "extricated" I mean "left them there, damn you jungle safari ambassador." http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26403543665.jpg Avatar: You okay? Zachary: Yeah just...whoa...just give me a...one sec... http://wtfcontent.com/img/130192747020.jpg Zachary: There aren't any ducks. Avatar: Great, now you won't be able to speak for another hour! Hall: Your mother was also unable to speak for an hour after last night. Avatar: What? Hall: I am implying-and now, stating-that I had oral relations with your mother last night. The vigourousness of those activities caused her to be unable to speak for an hour after their cease. Avatar: I meant...why do you do this to me? Hall: To your mother. I had sex with your mother. Avatar: Are you my dad? Hall: Are you English? Avatar: No. Hall: Precisely. Avatar: So, Zachary Incorporated, how you feeling 15 months of $100? Zachary: Eh. Avatar: Fine, and we'll pay for a trolley to take you everywhere. Zachary: Deal. Somehow, my list of negotiations just doubled in length. Ah, right, removing travel concerns. Yes. And there was that matter of declaring war on three promotions that I ought to discuss with Dunton Hall... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayelek Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 There were no breasts in that post. I find my interest waning. However, Thomas Morgan as either Captain Morgan or Captain Dos Equis may be worth it. Also, Hall's voice is Patrick Stewart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 Dear Nigel Svensson: You were right. ROF has not fired you. I was in error. Please accept my apologies. -Eidenhoek Avatar P.S. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26500033733.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 I walked into Dr. Hall's office. He seemed to be working on our referees' uniforms. http://www.refcostume.com/wp-content/themes/eCommerce/thumb.php?src=http://www.refcostume.com/wp-content/uploads/products_img/refereerompercostume.jpg&w=210&zc=1&q=80&bid=1 I approved. Noticing me, he slid over one of them new-fangled tablet things. It showed his emails: http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26500052333.jpg Hall: Care to explain? Eidenhoek: Okay, well, you know how wars means it's us or them, right? Hall: Yes. Eidenhoek: So I figure we could hire their bookers or owners. Then they leave and work for us. Hall: That leaves...FCW, MAW, and NYCW without any management. Good strategy. Eidenhoek: Well...actually, that doesn't seem to stop the company from running, for some reason. Hall: That is true. So why do it? Eidenhoek: Once they fire their head booker, I can apply for the job. Hall: You are an imbecile. Eidenhoek: No, it's not that I hate working here or anything, it's just that I want to make it to the big time. And I can do that a hell of a lot faster by climbing up the promotional ladder than waiting until this company hits National. Hall: That is not why you are foolish. Eidenhoek: Then what do you mean? Hall: We are local. Babes of Sin City is Small. I see that you went to war with 3 small promotions; I now know this is so you can work for them instead of us. So my point is that you failed to enact a plan wherein you are on a roster full of Las Vegas's hottest exotic dancers, strippers, and prostitutes. Eidenhoek: ... http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c131/Lnk64/fuuuuuuuuu.jpg Dunton: I would like your opinion on something: which looks better? http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/610/636/torrie-wilson-picture-4_display_image.jpg?1294101028http://www.thewrestlingdivas.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Trish-Stratus5.jpg Avatar: You're showing me hot chicks in water because I can't drink, aren't you? He took out a can of Dos Equis and put his finger on his nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 <p><em>From Dr. Hall, I returned to my potentially-temporary duties of talent relations.</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/470572/9767316" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26600253090.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Check out my mate's costume!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Chess:</strong> Officially, you thought my price was too high. Unofficially, I'm out.</p><p> </p><p> <em>Some might say I was rejected. I say, however, that I dealt with a potential employee swiftly.</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/470574/8821582" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26600274728.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> OH GOD IT'S YOU BITE ME PLoX!!!1</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Danny:</strong> That's Robert Pattinson. I'm Danny Patterson.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> 1. You knew his name. So, so wrong. 2. No, in fact, you're unemployed.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Danny:</strong> I work for MOSC.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> NEXT!</p><p> </p><p> <em>Yeah, I showed him. Like a boss. Something something Russians like a boss.</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/470577/2434931" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26600311360.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Thought you had a skin condition or something.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dermott:</strong> Nah, that ain't me.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> So you're in the mafia?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dermott:</strong> Let's just say between you and me? I hate you.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> That doesn't answer the question.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dermott:</strong> Riddle me this: offer?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> 15/$100.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dermott:</strong> Nope.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> $150?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dermott:</strong> Travel.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Done.</p><p> </p><p> <em>I looked down and saw that my trash can was full. Appropriately, who walked in?</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/470579/7190680" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26600335781.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> You suck.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dusty:</strong> Funny. I seem to recall your mother having similar words to say as I ravaged her this previous night.</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://joe.niftychoices.com/files/70show_MichaelKelso.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> No no no. <em>I'm</em> supposed to talk about <em>your</em> mother.</p><p> </p><p> <em>Dusty:</em> My mother is 80 and in the insane asylum. She also has leprosy.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Dude, that sucks.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dusty:</strong> And here we are, back to your mother's words.</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://i625.photobucket.com/albums/tt338/downdolly/Funny%20quotes/burn.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> OH GOD IT'S SO BIG-wait don't say it.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Hall:</strong> What? Oh, that's you Eidenhoek? Was wondering why your mother was visiting.</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://www.funnymotivationalposters.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Holy-Facepalm.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dusty:</strong> Can I hear an offer?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> HOW COULD YOU OVER THE MOANS OF MY MOTHER?</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://massmultiverse.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/wtf.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Dusty:</strong> So...15 months at $150 per appearance with travel is fine. Goodbye.</p><p> </p><p> <em>Everyone else was doing it...DAMMIT THAT'S ANOTHER SETUP LINE!</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/470586/4884792" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26600481774.jpg</span></a></p><p> <span>http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/4184/PreviewComp/SuperStock_4184R-1341.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Etsuko:</strong> That's not my body. At all.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Hmm, let's search for a better one. Hot asian. Oh, that's porn. Hot asian body. Porn. And also men. Hot asian female. WHY ARE MEN SHOWING UP ON THIS SEARCH?!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Etsuko:</strong> Fair enough.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> 15/$100?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Etsuko:</strong> You can do better than that.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> $150?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Etsuko:</strong> Travel.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Done.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Etsuko:</strong> I'll start in a week.</p><p> </p><p> <em>I didn't tell her I'd probably be gone by then.</em></p><p> </p><p> <a href="http://www.UploadScreenshot.com/image/470591/6263553" rel="external nofollow"><span>http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26600523292.jpg</span></a></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Are you Motty's sister?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Ginko:</strong> No. But I am the Dragon's Daughter.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> UK Dragon?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Ginko:</strong> No.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Red Dragon?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Ginko:</strong> No.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> RED EYES BLACK SKULL DRAGON, IN ATTACK MODE!</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org/04/1/7/6/37329683887068852.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <span>http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo3ewm4qbX1qinbtzo1_400.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <span>http://www.yugioh-cards.net/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/db2/huge/DB2-EN201.jpg</span></p><p> </p><p> <span>http://www.ethanwiner.com/Smiley%20Land/Sad06.gif</span></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Hall:</strong> AND NOW TO SEND YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> 15/$100?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Ginko:</strong> No.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> $150?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Ginko:</strong> Travel.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Avatar:</strong> Okay.</p><p> </p><p> <em>I then learned that "The Shadow Realm" was identical to Tantalus's torment. I applauded Dunton Hall on his knowledge of history and ability to either construct or have constructed something to replicate the mythical torture. However, the fact that...well, yeah, it was pretty bad.</em></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C0NTR4l34ND Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Does that hire-the-owners thing really work?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayelek Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 The Daniel Craig YuGiOh picture is pretty funny. Also, the whole YuGiOh bit. Also, I like boobs. Looking forward to seeing if Eidenhoek Avatar gets a job, or if he actually has to book these losers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 Fun fact: TANTALUS COULD NOT DRINK ANY WATER EVEN THOUGH HE WAS CHEST-DEEP IN A POOL. Ha ha Dunton Hall hates me. That's the joke. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26701395891.jpg Avatar: Speaking of jokes... Totally not 16:56 of COMPLETE AND TOTAL AWESOMENESS! Jamie: You know, I'd punch you in the face if I met you. Avatar: Speaking of getting punched in the face... Jamie: No. Just offer the money. Avatar: Jamie: So what is it? 15 months and $100, like everyone else? Avatar: Yep. Jamie: No. Avatar: $150? Jamie: Travel. Avatar: Done. I unintentionally called Jamie Anderson's people. They said he was way too good for the states. So I called up Atherton's people to talk travel. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26701445226.jpg Avatar: HAI JASON THUNDER! Jason: http://stfu.se/stfu.gif Avatar: Jason: And shove that $50 offer you're writing up your ass. Avatar: IF YA SMELLLLLL Jason: Your ass? Avatar: Oh. Huh, that...that was weird. Jason: Yeah. Avatar: Would $100 work? Jason: And travel, then I'll wrestle. Avatar: Done. I began to plan my insidious plot to bring this company down from the inside. http://images3.makefive.com/images/entertainment/movies/best-star-wars-character/darth-sidious-7.jpg No, insidious, not Darth Sidious. http://th05.deviantart.net/fs30/150/i/2008/091/f/0/Darth_Sidious_by_sanzliot.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26701511540.jpg Avatar: So, Jazz, how about 15/$100? Jazz: I'm thinking a little higher, to be honest. Avatar: $150...and travel? Jazz: Now you got it. I played that one straight, just to change the mood. http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rjo0725l.jpg And there's a bear. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26701543735.jpg Avatar: OH GOD A BEAR! Seiko: Where? Avatar: There! Seiko: There? Avatar: No, there! I stabbed her in the eye and ran away. http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26701553749.jpg Avatar: Yo! Peace love and hippies, man! Let's go do some hot chicks without condoms! http://www.moviespad.com/photos/topher-grace-eyes-26473.jpg Topher: I'm 19. Avatar: I didn't say anything about drinking. http://blog.indianapolismotorspeedway.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/dosequis_interesting.jpg Avatar: The hell? Hall: I made some shirts: http://rlv.zcache.com/stay_thirsty_my_friends_tshirt-p235833884380669110336x_400.jpg Avatar: Y'know, I heard Dos Equis was a horse. Hall: I am sure you can follow the implication if I emphasize the word "is" in the phrase: Dos Equis is a horse. Avatar: Don't you drink Dos Equis? Hall: They do: http://www.thirstyforbeer.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/birthday.jpg http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/3/25/headdesk128509479577049492.jpg Topher: Hello? Avatar: Fifeen woo hooreh Topher: ...no? Avatar: Wah Fih-fee? Topher: Travel? http://static.rcgroups.net/forums/attachments/1/8/6/6/6/5/a3619725-168-chuck-norris-thumbs-up.jpg Dammit Hall I will ****ing kill you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 Ah, a new day. And I have people to hire! http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26702121550.jpg Avatar: Honey has boobs. Get out. HA! And the rest of the day was spent taking away people's travel. I wish I could get someone's Booker... In the ensuing days, I had a few more new negotiations, but none that were particularly noteworthy. Hardcore Killah, for example, was 2 hardxcorre 4 us. As well, Steve Smith answered our call. He too was expensive, and was lacking in the mammaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26702245110.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26702285716.jpg http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7nxyByTjAdQ/S7oeyaxtPoI/AAAAAAAAAbo/Gk7fnHlmPS4/s1600/al-bundy.jpg Avatar: So how's Majorly Arduous Wrestling treating you? Cattley: It's a hell of a lot better than this small-time shack you call a company. Avatar: Does that mean you aren't interested? Cattley: No, I'll join you. But I'm going to suck you dry. Avatar: Try me. Cattley: I'm asking more than any four wrestlers. Combined. Avatar: 15 months. $800. We got a deal? Cattley: Yeah, we got a deal. Avatar: So you're leaving MAW, then? Cattley: We're still at war, kid. And right now, I'm employed by the enemy. So why the **** would I tell you that? I'm going to get my bags packed to run roughshod over this sorry company, if it's my only priority or not. And as for that Honey? You can bet I'm one hell of a mean machine in the sack. ... **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26702472865.jpg Oh...uh oh... Bailey: I just defended my title; why the hell should I come here? Avatar: I got money. Bailey: How much? Avatar: $900. Bailey: Nah, offer me something real, kid. Avatar: How about a Cleveland? Bailey: Deal. ... Heh heh heh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheOmniWarrior Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I approve of the yugioh segment... IN AMERICA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I wonder if anything important has happened... http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26800235453.jpg http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26800244111.jpg http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-ash2/50313_70590530709_7943_n.jpg You know what's even better? NYCW is screwed, too! So I had a decision to make. Work with RIP MOTHER****ING CHORD, or The Stomper. <_< *applies to MAW* Now here's the thing: maybe Chord and Stomper won't want me. In that case, I should probably stay here, at E.I.D.E.N.H.O.E.K. Y'know, not do anything stupid. >___________> http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26800275226.jpg Avatar: Johnny...Stones? Stones: Either one; doesn't hurt me either way. Avatar: I undervalued you. You wanted travel, and...well, you're not going to get it. But, see, I think we can do a bit better than that. Stones: What do you mean? Avatar: How does 15 months, $1,500 per appearance sound? Stones: Quite gracious! I appreciate the gift you have given me and will endeavor not to disappoint. Avatar: Oh, I don't think you will... FUFUFUFUFU http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26800304335.jpg Avatar: You're a very special girl. Etsuko: Really? Avatar: Some might even call you a...super-freak. Etsuko: Is that a good thing? Avatar: 15 months, $1,500. Yes? Etsuko: Duh, yes. http://www.transformer-ivan.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/wrestling.gif http://i423.photobucket.com/albums/pp317/SSonic2006/ShiftyJerichoEyes.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanityisforbidden Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Time to book your first show jabroni. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 Avatar: Hey Dunton. Hall: That is awfully familiar of you. What is it? Avatar: I heard MAW got itself a new head booker. Hall: That is quite the news. Avatar: And in honor of that news...let's see, how do I...want to say this... http://lauraparmeter.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/suck-it.jpg http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/11/13/129025931644390584.jpg http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/21/8a2fc633-107a-4496-bb60-c3f868e7d73e.jpg http://a1.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/42/2fab9b4ad7257e52a1e05f96000de065/l.jpg http://hhh35.tripod.com/DX4.JPG http://images.myreviewer.co.uk/small/0000148335.jpg Dunton: That last one appears to have a naked man. Avatar: Huh...well, he is wearing a belt. Dunton: Duly noted. I have but one rebuttal: http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26902034221.jpg ... http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/222/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 Avatar: HEY DUNTON! Suck on this! http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26902155452.jpg Dunton: I feel the need to have you notice two things: first, if you are the new head booker, why are you here? Avatar: To make you suck it. Dunton: Fine. Secondly, did you actually read the article? Avatar: Don't give me your across-the-seas lingo: suck it! Dunton: http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/26902222685.jpg ... http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yKSo5xPjLpM/SeZnNbsYjgI/AAAAAAAAIq4/RATvYQJa90U/s400/Augh.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 Avatar: Well guess what, Dunton? THERE'S STILL JOEY BEAUCHAMP IN UEW MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA WARRRRR HUAH! Dunton: Shall I ask for what good it is? Avatar: You may, but my reply will be HAHAHAHA SUCK IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 I walked into Dunton Hall's office. I'd say I was hung over, but I'm only 18. And I'm parched. Fortunately, there was this huge cow above me, and she said-wait a second. Dammit. Avatar: You spiked me with acid, didn't you? Hall: Acid currently works for WLW. Are you implying you wish to war with them as well? Avatar: The hell? No, I'm tripping balls, man! I see a cow! Hall: That is hardly the manner in which I would request you refer to my mother. Dunton Hall has a mom? http://i2.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/590/draft_lens5844362module125951131photo_1286985485Dog_in_a_Cow_Costume.jpg Avatar: That's a dog. Hall: No it isn't. That is a cow. Avatar: It's a dalmatian in a cow costume. Hall: Cow. Avatar: Dog. Hall: Man who says it's a dog and is about to be tasered says what? Avatar: Dog. Hall: Anyway, that is not my mother. This is my mother. http://images-en.busytrade.com/57277600/Provide-Sexy-Lingerie-Underwear-Halloween-Cow-Girl-Costume.jpg Avatar: How the hell is she younger than you? Hall: She is not younger than me. Avatar: But her boobs are so perky? Hall: I would also request you refrain from gazing at my mother's breasts. Avatar: I'm sorry, I was staring at your mom's rack. What'd you say? Hall: Look again and I will taze you. Avatar: ... http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27003265241.jpg http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/images_games/systemshock02.jpg Avatar: OH GOD MY EYES! Hall: I must apologize, but I cannot hear you over the sound of your flesh searing. Avatar: I THINK I'M A BORG! Hall: You, then, cannot be a member of the borg. Any individual does not think. Avatar: And how do you know? Hall: Look up "Locutus". Avatar: Is that some homosexual male fantasy site. Hall: Given that I offered you a search query, not a website, no, it is not a homosexual male fantasy site. Avatar: Pretty sure it is. Hall: Now why did you enter my office? Avatar: Seeing as how I am still employed here, I think we need to have our first show. Hall: Have it, then. Avatar: When? Hall: Tonight suffices for me, as would any of the other three days left in this month. Avatar: No preference? Hall: Given that I do not work in the United States, no, I have no preference. Avatar: Wait, what? How the hell do you not work in the United States? Hall: I am projecting myself into your mind from England. Avatar: Like Magneto with Cerebro? Hall: ... Avatar: What? That's what it's called. Cerebro. Like Cerebrellum. Hall: ... Avatar: DAMMIT WHAT? Hall: http://images.wikia.com/spore/images/9/98/Picard_facepalm.png Avatar: I think your matrix thingy is acting up. I'm not getting a clear picture. Hall: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v418/bawanaal/PicardDoubleFacepalm-1.jpg Avatar: Ah, fixed it. There you go. Hall: When shall the event be? Avatar: Last Sunday of January. Hall: The name? Avatar: http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27003390084.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27003390084.jpg Official Match Card subject to change including additions and/or substitutions http://img1.UploadScreenshot.com/images/main/9/27003475461.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheOmniWarrior Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 My predictions are DWN Cattley Eidenhoek (gotta have a win somewhere, right? ) Rolling Johnny Stones Extraordinario Jr Canadian Crusher Thunder & Lightning Raisin & Ayres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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