ZEN: Art of Wrestling- Because There's No Such Thing as Too Silly

[Regis]

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

Devilfish vs. Halloween Knight ©

I fear that the deck may be stacked against poor old Devilfish.

 

Lone Shark vs. Necromancer

Lone Shark takes one back.

 

FOR THE ZEN HARMONY TITLES- LADDER MATCH

The Sky Kings (Super Zero & Vertigo) © vs. The Enemy (Cyanider & Massacre)

Champs win more often than not.

 

CLOWN RULES MATCH

X-Calibre vs. C-W-A

It's his match.

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin © vs. Mirror Universe John Gordon

Shaolin is better.

 

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

Not sure who's where on the pecking order, but hey, let's see.

[Rickymex]

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

Devilfish vs. Halloween Knight ©

 

Lone Shark vs. Necromancer

 

FOR THE ZEN HARMONY TITLES- LADDER MATCH

The Sky Kings (Super Zero & Vertigo) © vs. The Enemy (Cyanider & Massacre)

 

CLOWN RULES MATCH

X-Calibre vs. C-W-A

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin © vs. Mirror Universe John Gordon

 

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

[Greg]

Card for ZEN Way of the Scholar

 

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

Devilfish vs. Halloween Knight ©

Lone Shark vs. Necromancer

 

FOR THE ZEN HARMONY TITLES- LADDER MATCH

The Sky Kings (Super Zero & Vertigo) © vs. The Enemy (Cyanider & Massacre)

 

CLOWN RULES MATCH

X-Calibre vs. C-W-A

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin © vs. Mirror Universe John Gordon

 

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

[Jingo]

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

Devilfish vs. Halloween Knight ©

 

Lone Shark vs. Necromancer

 

FOR THE ZEN HARMONY TITLES- LADDER MATCH

The Sky Kings (Super Zero & Vertigo) © vs. The Enemy (Cyanide & Massacre)

 

CLOWN RULES MATCH

X-Calibre vs. C-W-A

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin © vs. Mirror Universe John Gordon

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

[arwink]

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

Devilfish vs. Halloween Knight ©

 

Lone Shark vs. Necromancer

 

FOR THE ZEN HARMONY TITLES- LADDER MATCH

The Sky Kings (Super Zero & Vertigo) © vs. The Enemy (Cyanider & Massacre)

 

CLOWN RULES MATCH

X-Calibre vs. C-W-A

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin © vs. Mirror Universe John Gordon

 

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

[1PWfan]

ZEN Way of the Scholar

Live to DVD from The ZEN Temple

Saturday, Week 2, February 2010

Audience: 93

 

Pre-Show/DVD Extras

 

The Inmates vs. Man O’War & Quick Silver

I’d expected an absolute disaster here, so the fact that this was merely bad was a definite bonus. Okay, so Bile still sucks and always will, and Quick Silver and The Anarchist are far from the finished article, but they do have an upside and Man O’War can be counted on to do his thing regardless of anything else. Style-wise, this was speed vs. power, with Anarchist doing most of the lifting for his team and only letting Bile in for a handful of moves whilst Man O’War and Quick Silver used quick tags and high-speed aerial offence to defeat their opponents. That proved much more successful, with Quick Silver claiming the first fall on Bile with a rapid-fire crucifix pin before Man O’War took down The Anarchist almost immediately with Neptune’s Trident to secure a victory in two straight falls.

Winner: Man O’War & Quick Silver Match Rating: E-

 

The Show

 

The Mercs vs. The Horror Show

This was an unexpectedly good match- clearly the two teams have the tag experience to make up for their individual failings (and individually The Horror Show and Eraser are only slightly better than Quick Silver and The Anarchist). Jester, admittedly, is a strong competitor and has a lot of potential as a singles competitor, but even so I didn’t see this being as good as it was. To be fair to them, whilst Eraser and The Horror Show aren’t anywhere near being our best workers they do match up well, all three being scrappy brawlers with more energy than finesse. That set the stage for the first fall, which took the form of a wild brawl as all four men threw fists in place of the usual aerial antics that define a ZEN match. Eraser ended that first phase of the bout with a Rub Out on Slasher whilst Jester pummelled Stalker at ringside. That reversed quickly, though, as Steven Yale accidentally wacked Eraser with his cane whilst Stalker distracted Jester with the world’s gothiest film camera (screaming ‘Vampire Circus!’ at him for some reason). Jester was, as many have been, thrown by the presence of the film camera and stopped off to pose, giving Slasher a chance to hit Eraser with The Shower Scene and get the second fall, evening the odds. Of course the bell brought Jester back to the ring, and he promptly clobbered Slasher before trying for The Punchline, only to be blocked by Stalker jumping him from behind. The two Nightmares initiated their feared double-team offence of double punches, double kicks and the dreaded Late Night Monster Movie Madness (Double Arm Wringer into a Double Knife Edge Chop into a Piggy-back Lariat). Unfortunately Eraser was on hand to toss Stalker out of the ring and nail Slasher with the Rub Out, all the while moving ‘very quietly’ so as not to alert Steven Yale to his presence. That gave Jester a chance to recover and nail Slasher with The Punchline for the second fall.

Winners: The Mercs Match Rating: E+

 

*

 

Shaolin vs. Mirror Universe John Gordon

This was a solid bout but nothing truly exceptional, which is probably what you’d expect from these two. John Gordon’s a promising hand- maybe even our most promising, if you take into account the level he’s already at, but even so he’s far from the finished article and needs quite a bit of seasoning. As for Shaolin, he’s no disaster in the ring but he’s no great success either, and I don’t see him rising out of the midcard anytime soon. That being said, he’s still got more to go with than Johnny, especially given that we need some strong faces to challenge Halloween Knight at the moment, and took the win here in two straight falls, grabbing the first via roll-up at three minutes before the Guru supplied another one of his low blows to get John back into the game. Gordon was soon in control, using his size advantage to out-muscle the champion and try and secure the pin, but Shaolin held on and was able more than once to kick out of falls you felt certain were in the bag. That led to a lot of frustration on the part of the challenger, and eventually fuelled his making a classic rookie mistake; he threw Shaolin into the corner and turned away to go for a avalanche, only for Shaolin to ninja up and nail the Death Touch. Vishni tried to distract the ref, but for once Steven’s blindness worked in the faces’ favour as he didn’t see Vishni getting in the ring and counted 3 before the Guru could break the fall.

Winner: Shaolin Match Rating: E

 

*

 

It’s time for the tag title match, as The Sky Kings make their way out to the ring. Unfortunately for them, their entrance is cut off by the swift arrival of The Enemy, as Cyanide and Massacre jump them from behind and lay in a beat-down on the champs. Super Zero is left laid out as Cyanide throws him into a ladder, whilst Vertigo is dropped at ringside by Massacre’s boot.

Rating: E-

 

*

 

The Sky Kings vs. The Enemy

I don’t know if these are our two strongest teams but they definitely have strong claims to the title, so this was a good match. Okay, so we weren’t as unrestrained with the aerial insanity as usual thanks to the pre-match beatdown, but we made up for that with something that vaguely resembled a story instead- Cyanide and Massacre were able to dominate the isolated Vertigo, but every time they went to the ladder The Artist of the Airways was able to pull something out and keep them from getting to the titles. Without Super Zero, who was still laid out by the entrance, Vertigo still couldn’t get the advantage, though, and despite his best efforts it looked like The Enemy would take the win. Fortunately for our heroes, Super Zero was able to make a recovery just as it looked like The Enemy would put Vertigo down for good, coming in over the top rope with a double clothesline on Cyanide and Massacre and unleashing his most ferocious aerial offence. He even made it up to the top of the ladder unchallenged, only to change his mind about the belt and come off with Holding Out for a Zero on Massacre. By that point Vertigo was also back in the game, allowing The Sky Kings to unleash some of their finest tag-team offence, including the stereo Pele Kicks and double dropkick. Admittedly Cyanide was able to recover long enough to climb up the ladder and get a hand on the belt, but he was so done in by that point that he passed out with one hand wrapped round the belt, and it was easy enough for Vertigo to take him down with a big dropkick, leaving the champs free to climb up and grab the belts for the W.

Winners: The Sky Kings Match Rating: D-

 

*

 

It’s promo time again, as X-Calibre’s on hype duty for the Clown Rules Match

 

“Tonight- well, tonight is gonna be an interesting night. Y’see, C-W-A, before this match I spoke with my Guru from the Future- by the way, Guru Vishni, different dude, see the confusion but it really ain’t him- and he told me ‘I can’t tell you what happens tonight, in case we accidentally create a black hole and a load of **** dinosaurs come out and start dinosauring all over the place’ and that would be really annoying, right? I mean, we just don’t have the time to deal with **** Dinosaurs. So tonight, I’m just gonna have to beat you, because if I open the black hole and the Dinosaurs come out then it’ll just get silly”

 

This went surprisingly well- I didn’t have X-Calibre down as a great talker, but he got a great reaction here.

Rating: D

 

*

 

C-W-A vs. X-Calibre

These two are guys you can always count on to deliver a good comedy match, which is part of the reason they’re both currently extended pushes of a sort. C-W-A in particular is really making the most of what’s he been given here, and okay Clown Rules matches are very much his thing but there’s a difference between having a gimmick and owning it, and he’s definitely . As for X, he’s getting consistently good reaction from the fans and looks set to get more over despite his lack of much-needed improvement (although to be fair, if he does climb up the card some then he’ll be in with a shot against Halloween Knight, who should be able to drag him up some quality-wise). Tonight, however, belonged to C-W-A, and he took the win in suitably spectacular fashion: X-Calibre came off the top rope with a Custard Pie, but C-W-A dropped him in mid-air with a well-aimed soda siphon before taking the custard pie and flinging it down onto the recumbent X-Calibre from the top rope himself. As Alex Arturro put it ‘ain’t no coming back from them bananas, fool!’

Winner: C-W-A Match Rating: D-

 

*

 

It’s time for a promo from the champ, as he’s ready to talk about his match with Devilfish

 

“The theme of tonight’s promo is the inevitable bitterness of defeat. Now, I’m not really one for bitter things, except for that thing you do with bitter lemon and a lemon, it tastes amazing, but the point is that you, Devilfish, you need to get used to that bitter, bitter taste of defeat, because you’ll be tasting it tonight. You seee, I have a cunning plan to take out all your assistance and then cheat…except not cheat! Honest, cross my heart and hope to get poked in the eye ‘til it really hurts. I’m not a cheater, and I’ll rip the spleen out of any man who says otherwise! Except The Inmates, ‘cos they’re huge, or Massacre, cos, well, ditto. Point is, Devilfish, I’m going to beat you! MWAHAHAHAHAA!!!! Okay, got to find an evil laugh that doesn’t hurt my throat. Cyanide, lozenges? Great.”

 

As always, Halloween Knight is great value on the stick.

Rating: D

 

*

 

Lone Shark vs. Necromancer

This was definitely an improvement on Necromancer’s last bout, which bodes well for his long-term future as a ZEN main eventer. He still needs a lot of improvement, and some help on the psychology front, but if we can find the right guys to carry him to the top matches then we should be able to use him at this level until he improves. As for Lone Shark, he’s solid enough, doesn’t make a lot of mistakes (by our standards anyway) and can be relied upon to deliver in the key slots, but there are questions over just how good he is as a long-term main-event prospect unless he shows some improvement in his offence. Still, he’s one of our best at the moment, and took the victory here 2 falls to one. The first fall went to Necromancer, who locked Lone Shark up in the Death Scream to force a submission, but his attempt to keep the hold up and force a second submission was foiled when Shark was able to get a foot to the ropes. The Daredevil from the Deep then started his comeback, unleashing a flurry of forearms before heading to the top rope and nailing a big diving hurracarana that he followed up with a dropkick, keeping Necromancer on the defensive. The Monochrome Menace went outside the ring to try and regroup, but Lone Shark went over the top rope with a somersault plancha to keep the pressure up before throwing his opponent back into the ring. Necromancer was quick to get back to his feet, but Lone Shark came over the top rope with a slingshot crossbody that got him a pin, and a hooked leg secured him the fall. At that point Halloween Knight (who’d oddly joined the commentary desk for the match) called down Eraser from backstage, who launched an all-out attack on the Shark that secured a DQ win for the hero but still left him laid out in the ring.

Winner: Lone Shark Match Rating: D-

 

*

 

Devilfish vs. Halloween Knight

If there’s one guy we can always count on to deliver it’s the Knight, and sure enough this was another great match to end the evening on, not quite as good as RFTS for last month but still more than solid. To be fair to him, Devilfish isn’t a bad worker per se, and if we could get his basics and psychology up I could really see him getting his hands on the title again, but right now he does need a certain amount of carrying to make sure his matches deliver on a main-event level. When he’s up against the right opponent (which definitely isn’t Necromancer, unfortunately), though, the match can be really good, as tonight’s was. Devilfish took the first fall after a high-octane opening few minutes, nailing the Deep Sea DDT from the top rope for a three-count. Knight fled the ring to recover after the fall, calling down Cyanide and Massacre to try and even the odds, but Devilfish came over the top rope with a corkscrew slingshot plancha that flattened both of The Enemy, although Knight was smart enough to get out of the way. He then pounced on Devilfish, stomping away at him on the floor before rolling him back into the ring and coming off the top rope with a Diving Splash that almost secured him a three-count before Devilfish rolled through into a pin of his own. Knight kicked out but played it safe, using his size advantage to try and control Devilfish and keep him from unleashing his flashy offence. That didn’t last long (largely because Knight sucks at brawling), but a well-timed kick to the nuts and crossbody took Devilfish down long enough for Knight to secure the pin and level the playing field. The final fall saw both men ramp up the speed and high-flying in an effort to take the victory, but in the end it was Halloween Knight who got the win, countering Devilfish’s top rope flying forearm with his trademark pumpkin before rolling through into the Pumpkin Patch for the final fall.

Winner: Halloween Knight Match Rating: D

 

 

Overall Rating: D-, not as good as last month but still sufficient for our purposes

[1PWfan]

Sorry this has taken so long- I've been busy and a little under-inspired. So, let's take a look at the predictions, shall we?

 

MichiganHero: 6/6

Midnightnick: 4/6

Regis: 6/6

Rickymex: 6/6

Greg: 3/6

Jingo: 4/6

Arwink: 4/6

 

So, MichiganHero, Rickymex and Regis get the fan questions this time round. Next post will be going up soonish, next couple of days maybe.

[Big Roguey]

I have a simple question/request, can C-W-A find the time in his busy schedule to make me a balloon elephant?

[Rickymex]

What is Lone Shark favorite food?

[Regis]

Massacre, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

[1PWfan]

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="34518" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;"><p><strong><span style="font-size:36px;"><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">I Love ZENcast and Roll</span></span></strong></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> <em>We’re at the delivery bay of the ZEN Temple, where X-Calibre and Man O’War are hanging, both wearing sticking plasters on their forehead (over the top of the masks, which is maybe a little odd). They’re joined by Devilfish and Lone Shark, who are also wearing plasters. </em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>LS:</strong> Hey guys, what’s happening?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>MO’W:</strong> Yaarrrrr maties, we be waiting for a saucy delivery van, ha harr!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>DF:</strong> I thought the ketchup delivery was yesterday…</p><p> </p><p> <strong>X:</strong> That’s not what ‘e means mate- I heard from my Guru earlier, he says that something is coming that’s going to help us defeat FEAR. ‘Course, he might mean that in a symbolic sense, it’s not always easy to tell…</p><p> </p><p> <strong>LS:</strong> Right- so, your guru from the future, who sent you back in time after Guru Vishni sent you forward to help Halloween Knight’s evil plan, has told you that someone or something will be arriving that will help us defeat FEAR?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>X:</strong> Yep, and thanks for that handy recap for all the viewers at home. </p><p> </p><p> <em>A delivery man appears, looking suspiciously like TV’s Bruce in a different outfit and a fake beard.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>DM:</strong> Do any of you want to sign for this delivery? Only it’s too big to take back to the depot and I can’t leave it in the van.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>LS:</strong> Sure, I’ll get that, you just leave it over there…</p><p> </p><p> <em>A large, man-sized crate is rolled into view, and our four heroes gather round it in some confusion.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>LS:</strong> Well, I’ll say this for your guru, this sure ain’t symbolic. What do you guys reckon it is?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>X:</strong> No idea…hang on, there’s a note. “Stand well back in about five seconds”. Okay, then</p><p> </p><p> <em>As our heroes stand back, a hand punches through the crate as a wild-haired man with vibrant facepaint burst forth from within the box.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Nighthawk:</strong> ‘Allo! I am Night’awk and I ‘ave come to ‘elp yu defeat zese evil villains FEAR!</p><p> </p><p> <em>This is greeted with silence.</em></p><p> </p><p> <strong>LS:</strong> Hang on…why’s he <em>French</em>?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>N:</strong> I am no Frrrench! I ‘ave merely trained in ze Frrrance, and unfortunetly I ‘ave acquired a teensy bit of an accent!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>DF:</strong> …Well, you can’t say fairer than that. Now, what did you say your name was mate?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>N:</strong> As I said, I am Night’awk! Now, listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>MO’W:</strong> Yarrr?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>N:</strong> We ‘ave to defeat ‘ze evil trilogy of circus fiends ‘zat are calling themselves The Night Travellers. Ze Jester, Ze Errrraserrrr and Ze Clown wiz ze Attitude, togezzer zey make ze most devilish trio in ZEN: Art of Wrestling!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>LS:</strong> Y’know, he has a point there. The Night Travellers are a pretty tough bunch, if they team up with F.E.A.R then we’re all kinda boned. </p><p> </p><p> <strong>N:</strong> Oh yes, ze Guru from ze Future, he ‘as a note for yu, Mistairrr Eggs-Caliburrr.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>X:</strong> Right, let’s have a shufty… “You will offer to form a trio with Nighthawk to challenge The Night Travellers, and will have a match at ZEN Way of the Healer. If I reveal more I will create a collapse of the space-time continuum, so I won’t”. Well, you can’t say fairer than that. Waddaya reckon, Man O’War?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>MO’W:</strong> Yarr, I say we bring along the new shipmate and hang those villains from the yard-arm, ha harr!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>N:</strong> Absolument my frrriends, let us go forth and keeck zey’re assis!</p><p> </p><p> <strong>LS:</strong> You do that, we’ll take Necromancer and Halloween Knight. Now, Super Justice Team of Goodness away!</p><p> </p><p> <em>The heroes run out of frame, and any rumours that Devilfish is singing the batman theme are completely spurious and untrue. </em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <em>Honest.</em></p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> ***</p><p> </p><p> Card for ZEN: Way of the Healer</p><p> </p><p> DevilShark (Devilfish & Lone Shark) vs. The Dark Knights (Halloween Knight & Necromancer)</p><p> </p><p> TRIOS MATCH</p><p> Super Justice Team of Goodness (X-Calibre, Man O’War & Nighthawk) vs. The Night Travellers (C-W-A, Jester & Eraser)</p><p> </p><p> FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE</p><p> Shaolin vs. Cyanide</p><p> </p><p> STAIRCASE OF DOOM MATCH</p><p> Super Zero vs. Massacre</p><p> </p><p> Vertigo vs. The Anarchist</p><p> </p><p> The Horror Show (Nightmare Slasher & Nightmare Stalker) vs. The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & ‘The Perilous Purveyor of Problems’ Reed Buckfield)</p><p> </p><p> <em>OOC Note: Sorry this has been so delayed- my computer's been a little problematic. Nothing's lost or wiped, but I've been a little sidetracked getting it back up to pace</em></p>

[Regis]

<p>DevilShark (Devilfish & Lone Shark) vs. The Dark Knights (Halloween Knight & Necromancer)</p><p>

<em>Maybe a draw? Who knows, either could take this.</em></p><p> </p><p>

TRIOS MATCH</p><p>

<strong>Super Justice Team of Goodness (X-Calibre, Man O’War & Nighthawk)</strong> vs. The Night Travellers (C-W-A, Jester & Eraser)</p><p>

<em>Strong debut for Nighthawk. Also, what?</em></p><p> </p><p>

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE</p><p>

<strong>Shaolin</strong> vs. Cyanide</p><p>

<em>Why not? Champs win more often than not.</em></p><p> </p><p>

STAIRCASE OF DOOM MATCH</p><p>

Super Zero vs. <strong>Massacre</strong></p><p>

<em>I hear Zero ain't so good.</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Vertigo</strong> vs. The Anarchist</p><p>

<em>I hear The Anarchist sucks even more.</em></p><p> </p><p>

The Horror Show (Nightmare Slasher & Nightmare Stalker) vs. <strong>The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & ‘The Perilous Purveyor of Problems’ Reed Buckfield)</strong></p><p>

<em>Eeeeeeeeeeeevil debut guy wins!</em></p>

[Big Roguey]

Card for ZEN: Way of the Healer

 

DevilShark (Devilfish & Lone Shark) vs. The Dark Knights (Halloween Knight & Necromancer)

 

TRIOS MATCH

Super Justice Team of Goodness (X-Calibre, Man O’War & Nighthawk) vs. The Night Travellers (C-W-A, Jester & Eraser)

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin vs. Cyanide

STAIRCASE OF DOOM MATCH

Super Zero vs. Massacre

 

Vertigo vs. The Anarchist

 

The Horror Show (Nightmare Slasher & Nightmare Stalker) vs. The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & ‘The Perilous Purveyor of Problems’ Reed Buckfield)

[Midnightnick]

<p>DevilShark (Devilfish & Lone Shark) vs. <strong>The Dark Knights (Halloween Knight & Necromancer)</strong></p><p> </p><p>

TRIOS MATCH</p><p>

<strong>Super Justice Team of Goodness (X-Calibre, Man O’War & Nighthawk) </strong>vs. The Night Travellers (C-W-A, Jester & Eraser)</p><p> </p><p>

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE</p><p>

<strong>Shaolin </strong>vs. Cyanide</p><p> </p><p>

STAIRCASE OF DOOM MATCH</p><p>

<strong>Super Zero</strong> vs. Massacre</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Vertigo </strong>vs. The Anarchist</p><p> </p><p>

The Horror Show (Nightmare Slasher & Nightmare Stalker) vs. <strong>The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & ‘The Perilous Purveyor of Problems’ Reed Buckfield)</strong></p>

[Tiberious]

Card for ZEN: Way of the Healer

 

DevilShark (Devilfish & Lone Shark) vs. The Dark Knights (Halloween Knight & Necromancer)

 

TRIOS MATCH

Super Justice Team of Goodness (X-Calibre, Man O’War & Nighthawk) vs. The Night Travellers (C-W-A, Jester & Eraser)

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin vs. Cyanide

 

STAIRCASE OF DOOM MATCH

Super Zero vs. Massacre

 

Vertigo vs. The Anarchist

 

The Horror Show (Nightmare Slasher & Nightmare Stalker) vs. The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & ‘The Perilous Purveyor of Problems’ Reed Buckfield)

[1PWfan]

Show will go up 24 hours from now- well, ish. In the meantime, here's the fan questions, as will hopefully become customary until I switch over to 2013.

 

Firstly, this one from MichiganHero:

 

I have a simple question/request, can C-W-A find the time in his busy schedule to make me a balloon elephant?

 

C-W-A: How's about I make you a Custard Pie of Pain instead, you little dweeb?

 

Second, we've got this one from Rickymex:

 

What is Lone Shark favorite food?

 

Lone Shark: You know what, mate? I dine on danger and feast on fear. Sweet, crunchy fear, lightly grilled with a white wine sauce...

 

And finally, we've got one from Regis

 

Massacre, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

 

Massacre: Sure Regis, but how are we going to find chaps our size?

[Big Roguey]

I'll take that pie Mr. Attitude!

[Rickymex]

DevilShark (Devilfish & Lone Shark) vs. The Dark Knights (Halloween Knight & Necromancer)

 

TRIOS MATCH

Super Justice Team of Goodness (X-Calibre, Man O’War & Nighthawk) vs. The Night Travellers (C-W-A, Jester & Eraser)

 

FOR THE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE

Shaolin vs. Cyanide

 

STAIRCASE OF DOOM MATCH

Super Zero vs. Massacre

 

Vertigo vs. The Anarchist

 

The Horror Show (Nightmare Slasher & Nightmare Stalker) vs. The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & ‘The Perilous Purveyor of Problems’ Reed Buckfield)

[1PWfan]

ZEN Way of the Healer

Live to DVD from The ZEN Temple

Saturday, Week 2, March 2010

Audience: 90

 

The Show

 

The Horror Show vs. The Fiendish Villains

Reed Buckfield was a new guy I brought in to round out the roster, and partnering him with John Gordon seemed like a good way to get him involved in what was going on here. In truth they’re not an especially great team, but once they get a bit more experience under their belts they should start to gel a bit more in the ring. For now, though, Reed’s biggest advantage is his spectacular senton bomb finisher and a solid aerial offence that fits in well with what we do here. He’s playing John Gordon’s lackey, in the classic cringing sidekick way, and did a solid job of playing his part here. As for The Horror Show, they took the first fall in their usual style, Slasher distracting Vishni with the film camera whilst Stalker hit Reed with a Frightmare for the fall. Naturally both Gordon and Vishni were infuriated and treated Buckfield to a severe cuffing (which caused him to do a full front-somersault and land on his behind in a truly spectacular display of gymnastics) before forcing him back into the ring to try and even the falls. Buckfield struggled initially, as you might expect given that he’d already received one beating, but a well-timed low blow by Vishni gave him room to manoeuvre, and he evened the odds by going to the top rope and unleashing his Senton Bomb finisher on Stalker. With the falls tied John Gordon promptly tagged in with a slap round the back of Buckfield’s head and went to work on Nightmare Stalker, pummelling him roundly and trying to set him up for the Goateee Driver. Stalker was able to make it across to tag in Slasher, but another low blow from Vishni took him down, and whilst Reed grabbed Stalker at ringside Gordon was able to hit the Goatee Driver to take the win.

Winners: The Fiendish Villains Match Rating: E

 

*

 

We’re back to the psychedelic office of TV’s Bruce, as our DOAwe is once again communing with his lava lamp. This time, he’s interrupted by Halloween Knight

 

“Ah, TV’s Bruce, I have a small request to make.”

 

“Okay, you got it. Take whatever you like, man it’s just stuff. Like that piano you borrowed back at school and still haven’t given back…”

 

“No, that’s not it, and I’ve already told you, the piano accidentally got dropped on Devilfish’s head that one time, totally accidentally and in no way on purpose. No, what I want is a match”

 

“There’s a box of them in the stock cupboard, just round the corner and first door on the left.”

 

“Not that kind of a match, although thanks for the directions, I mean a wrestling match. With that fool X-Calibre.”

 

“Oh yeah, groovy, right, cool. Well, you got it”

 

“Thankyou very much, boss-man. Now that fool will learn the folly of tangling with F.E.A.R! MWAHAHAHAA!!!! Okay, that still hurts, gotta get a lozenge.”

 

“Same cupboard as the matches, man. And you ain’t gonna cheat, right?”

 

“Me? Cheat? Of course I’m going to cheat, I’m a villain! I mean, no of course I won’t cheat, that would be wrong. Cheerio, Bruce, thanks for the match, gotta go now.”

 

Knight flees the room as I continue my contemplation. And as always when me or Knight are involved, the reaction to this one was good.

Rating: D+

 

*

 

Vertigo vs. The Anarchist

Freed from the dead weight of his partner, it turns out that The Anarchist is actually capable of delivering a good match. Okay, so that was probably more down to it being a well-booked squash match against one of our top competitors, but you take your wins where you can get them, really. And to be fair, The Anarchist is not without his potential; it’s just a matter of finding him a partner that can fit in with his style and doesn’t completely suck. As for Vertigo, The Sky Kings are too valuable in the Tag division to make it worth giving him a major singles push right now, but given his age a major singles push isn’t out of the question in a few years’ time. Right now, though, the majority of his singles victories will come in squashes like this one, which he took in two straight falls. The first was a standard roll-up, whilst he took the second one a couple of minutes later with the Radar Legdrop.

Winner: Vertigo Match Rating: E+

 

*

 

It’s time for another promo, as Cyanide and Massacre are cutting a promo

 

“Massacre, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

 

“Err, I fink so Cyanide, but why would anbody want to Pierce Brosnan?”

 

“That’s not…you know what, doesn’t matter. The point is, tonight we of The Enemy have matches against the likes of Super Zero and Shaolin, two of ZEN’s best heroes. But you know what? Tonight is our night. Tonight belongs to the Enemy. You may think Zero or Shaolin have a chance, and maybe they would against any other competitor, except Halloween Knight or Necromancer. But they won’t tonight, not against us and not tonight”

 

“Gee Cyanide, what are we going to do tonight?”

 

“The same thing we do every night Massacre- try to take over the world!”

 

This was really just a quick chance to get these boys in front of a mic and see how they did- hence the rather disjointed feel of the thing. Turns out that they’re actually quite good, provided you focus on their menace, so expect to see more of them down the line.

Rating: D

 

*

 

Massacre vs. Super Zero

This was a very disappointing match, but I can see where we went wrong. Super Zero’s shown some steady improvement in his performance skills, so I thought he was ready for this kind of match, but he’s still not quite suited to a full-on comedy bout like the Staircase of Doom. As for Massacre, he’s in the same boat as Cyanide- fully capable of performing in a comedy match but without the gimmick to suit it, and since he’s still something of a work-in-progress he doesn’t yet have the talent to make up for those shortcomings. All that made for a very dissatisfying bout that maybe should’ve gone lower on the card. Still, it could’ve been worse, and the visual of a huge staircase at ringside was at least vaguely entertaining (the idea is that Massacre struggles on a ladder, so he has this special set-up for solo matches), so expect to see this match come back down the line. Super Zero got the win with a pretty cool spot, springboarding off the ropes to land on the staircase and climb the final few steps to grab the hanging contract for a ‘golden opportunity’ that nobody really explained.

Winner: Super Zero Match Rating: E-

 

*

 

Shaolin vs. Cyanide

After the disappointment of Zero/Massacre this was a much stronger bout- in fact, it was one of the best matches we’ve yet seen. I’m willing to bet that a lot of that was down to Cyanide, who’s probably one of our best workers, but then Shaolin’s far from a terrible worker and more than held up his end here, throwing in some ninja-style antics and flashy offence to keep things interesting. He took the first fall, reversing Cyanide’s attempt at the Skull Splitter into a swift O’Connor Roll that secured him a three-count, albeit only just as Cyanide kicked out seconds after Steve counted three. That set the stage for the second fall, which was all about Cyanide overpowering Shaolin, using his villainous ‘wiles’ (which mostly consisted of ‘cheat lots and then deny it when asked’) to control the match. At one point it looked like Shaolin might be able to grab a surprise second fall when he once again found himself in reach of an O’Connor Roll, but this time Cyanide hung onto the ropes and countered with a yakuza kick that dropped Shaolin to the mat (although they weigh about the same Cyanide’s got a lot more muscle mass whilst The Funky Warrior Monk’s kinda podgy). Cyanide quickly followed up with a pin, and whilst he had both feet on the ropes Stevie didn’t notice and counted three to level the falls. Cyanide then quickly went for the Skull Splitter, nailing it and rolling into a pin to try and secure the final fall. This time, however, Stevie’s ocular impairment played into the hands of the good guys as he failed to realise what was happening until it was too late, and Cyanide was forced to break the fall to tell him what was happening. Of course then Stevie tried to count a pin that wasn’t actually happening, but once somebody explained what was happening he got up to speed, just in time for Shaolin to unleash The Death Touch, securing a dramatic third fall and holding onto the Conceptual Title for another month.

Winner: Shaolin Match Rating: D-

 

*

 

It’s promo time again, as Man O’War, X-Calibre and Nighthawk are on hype duty for their match

 

“Allo! I am Night’awk, and I am ‘ere tu smite ze bad guys of ze Night Trrrravellerrrrs. Togezzer wiz my frrriends X-Caleebairrr and ze’ Man O’War, I shall blaze a trrrail of goodness and rrright srough all of ZEN: Arrrrt ouef Wrrestleeng! Is ‘zat no correct, mon amis?”

 

“That’s right mate! C-W-A, Jester, Eraser, yer tough, tough men, but us three? We’re three of the finest ZEN’s got, we’re certainly three of the bravest, and tonight you get to see why they call us The Super Justice Team of Goodness! We’re good, we’re just and we sure as all heck are super! Right, Man O’War?”

 

“Yarrr me hearties, I be ‘avin plenty to say, but we best hurry or we’ll be late for our match”

 

“What? Right, quick, this way! Come on lads, let’s run. Super Justice Team of Goodness away!”

 

This was a good solid promo from these three, which bodes well for their future.

Rating: D-

 

*

 

The Night Travellers vs. Super Justice Team of Goodness

This was a good match, which bodes well for the future as I see us featuring a lot more trios and atomicos matches down the line. What’s also positive is that both teams worked well together; I’d been worried that there’d be bad chemistry here and we’d have to completely rejig both these stables, but everybody got on the same page and delivered a really solid semi-main event. My one complaint is that it didn’t have a whole lot of story, just 14 minutes of super-flashy offence and aerial spots, but when you’ve got guys like Nighthawk, Eraser and X-Calibre in one match then you’re always going to struggle to maintain any kind of narrative consistency or logic. As it was, this was all about excitement, with frequent tags and big spots right from the get-go. The Night Travellers controlled the early going, cutting the ring in half and ganging up on Nighthawk to try and secure the first fall. Nighthawk fought back, however, and whilst he couldn’t do enough to get a fall despite a couple of flash roll-ups and a crucifix hold he was able to lure Eraser into dumping him out of the ring, setting up a hot tag to Man O’War. The Avenger from the Ocean came in like a house on fire, throwing out arm drags and dropkicks like they were going out of fashion, sending the Night Travellers reeling before setting his sights on Eraser. The Extreme Mercenary tried to get to the outside to trigger a tag, but X-Calibre cut him off with a springboard Japanese arm drag that took him right into the path of Neptune’s Trident. X-Calibre then bounced off the ropes to nail a quick Oklahoma Roll, securing the first fall. Of course, after that C-W-A and Jester jumped our heroes from behind and beat them both down, but they weren’t able to secure more than a two-count on either man. What’s more, Nighthawk was back in action, and The Colourful Crusader unleashed every high-risk move in his arsenal to even the odds, taking C-W-A out with a diving hurracarana over the top rope and flattening Jester with a Springboard Inverse Seated Senton. Eraser jumped him from behind and managed to nail The Black Out, but Man O’War was back on his feet and Superkicked the South African right in the mush before X-Calibre nailed a Springboard Back-Cracker. Nighthawk followed up with his finisher, the Flying Double Stomp, before dropping into a Prawn Hold to secure the three-count and win the match.

Winners: Super Justice Team of Goodness Match Rating: D-

 

*

 

DevilShark vs. The Dark Knights

As always with matches featuring Halloween Knight, this was a good main event that rounded off a strong evening’s entertainment. Okay, so maybe Devilfish and Necromancer really don’t work as rivals, but if we can find a decent way to move away from that feud and find them better opponents then there’s no reason why they can’t continue to develop as top guys for us. And if we’re being honest, the best opponents for them were already in this match: Lone Shark’s strong fundamentals make him a good match for Necromancer’s flashy but unsound performances, and there hasn’t been a wrestler born who Halloween Knight can’t have a decent match with. That was reflected in this match, which saw Knight handle most of the heavy lifting for his team, with Necromancer tagging in for quick flurries of offence whilst the heroes moved back and forth depending on who was in the ring. Necromancer took the first fall, pinning Lone Shark with a Slingshot Splash after Knight introduced his head to the turnbuckle (I don’t think they’ll stay friends for very long). Devilfish quickly evened the odds, however, nailing Necromancer with the Deep Sea DDT whilst Knight’s back was turned. Once Knight realised what was happening he was quick to try and take control, but Lone Shark teamed up with his partner to deliver a blistering run of double-team moves, culminating in their double jumping back elbow smash finisher, Jaws of the Deep. Unfortunately for our heroes it was at that point that Necromancer nailed a double low blow before throwing powder in Devilfish’s face, leaving him open to the Pumpkin Smash of Halloween Knight. The Dark Knights then nailed their dreaded Black Out (Double Full Nelson Slam), but when they went for the pin Lone Shark distracted Halloween Knight with a Jack o’Lantern full of chocolate before breaking the pin. Necromancer tried to take down The Daredevil from the Deep, only to find himself caught in a crucifix pin for 3, thanks to Knight still stuffing his face with chocolate and not bothering to break the fall.

Winners: DevilShark Match Rating: D

 

 

Overall Rating: D, back to our best. In fact, this is our best show of 2010 so far

[1PWfan]

Another show's in the bank, so let's see how the predictions went this time

 

Regis: 4/6

MichiganHero: 4/6

Midnightnick: 5/6

Tiberious4: 4/6

Rickymex: 5/6

 

So, it's Rickymex and Midnightnick up for the fan questions this time. Don't know when the next post will go up, it depends how much work I can get done this weekend.

[Rickymex]

Who is Halloween Knight's dream opponent in wrestling?

[1PWfan]

For the Snark was a ZENcast, you see

 

We’re in a dark room, lit only by a flickering blue light. Eerie music and screams fill the air as the camera pans round, revealing…The Horror Show, watching a horror movie on TV

 

Stalker: Pass the popcorn, mate, we’re coming up on the good bit.

 

Slasher: Which good bit, the brass unicorn or the toad head?

 

Stalker: Unicorn. Remember, the toad head was earlier on, wasn’t it?

 

Slasher: Oh yeah. I was thinking of the beheading thing from Theatre of Blood.

 

Stalker: Oh right…what? How is that in any way like the Toad Head from The Abominable Doctor Phibes?

 

Slasher: Vincent Price is in both, and they’re awesome.

 

Stalker: …Okay, that’s true.

 

Into this netherworld of Horror Movie Nerdery comes stumbling Molly Cuddle, looking for all the world like a girl in a hammer horror film circa 1967.

 

Molly: Oh no, where am I? I’ve never been here before…oh sweet, Abominable Doctor Phibes. Budge up you guys, the unicorn head’s coming up.

 

Stalker shits along the sofa, allowing Molly to perch alongside him, whilst Slasher passes the popcorn along. All three watch along in silence, until…

 

Stalker: And in three, two, one…bingo!

 

Slasher: We have unicorn, I repeat; we have unicorn.

 

Molly: "A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me, gentlemen."

 

Stalker: Nice, you got the line right n’ everything.

 

Molly: Come on, I’ve seen this like a hundred times. You want to see something special, I can quote every line of Horror of Dracula from memory.

 

Stalker: That is so awesome. You want to watch that next?

 

Molly: I dunno, is Peter Cushing awesome?

 

Slasher: Cool. ‘Course, you want great Peter Cushing, you have to go to the Hammer Frankenstein series.

 

Molly: Except Horror of Frankenstein, that one’s got Ralph Bates in. And it blows.

 

Slasher: Well, yeah, obviously. Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell, on the other hand, that’s a classic.

 

Molly & Stalker: Yeah.

 

Stalker: Y’know, you’re a lot cooler than I thought you were, Mol. Want to hang out some? We’re watching every Universal Dracula movie next week, after Way of the Philosopher.

 

Slasher: ‘Course, first we’ve got a match with The Mercs, and they’ll probably beat us into the ground, like usual.

 

Molly: Come on guys, you don’t know what’ll happen! I mean, did anyone see the shower scene coming in Psycho? ‘Course not!

 

Stalker: She’s got a point Slasher…

 

Slasher: I don’t know, The Mercs are tough- I’m talking Charles Grey, Devil Rides Out tough.

 

Molly: Listen, all you need is a Christopher Lee to balance him out. How’s about I help you guys out with the match, then we can load up on popcorn and blast through the career highlights of Bela Lugosi. I’ll even bring Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, and you can’t deny that’s a classic.

 

Stalker: You know what Molly, you’re on. Slasher, we need to get training.

 

Slasher: Okay, I’ll get Vampire Circus on, you get more popcorn.

***

 

Card for ZEN Way of the Philosopher:

 

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

X-Calibre vs. Halloween Knight ©

 

TRIOS ACTION

Man O’War & DevilShark vs. F.E.A.R (Necromancer, Cyanide & Massacre)

 

C-W-A vs. Super Zero

 

INTER-PROMOTIONAL BALL PIT MATCH

Nighthawk vs. APW’s Cole Taylor

 

HOUSE OF HORRORS MATCH

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

 

MORE TRIOS ACTION

Vertigo & The Shadows (Shaolin & Quick Silver) vs. The Anarchist & The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & Reed Buckfield)

[Boltinho]

Nice segment for the H Show

 

 

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

X-Calibre vs. Halloween Knight ©

 

TRIOS ACTION

Man O’War & DevilShark vs. F.E.A.R (Necromancer, Cyanide & Massacre)

missed one man out here?

 

C-W-A vs. Super Zero

 

INTER-PROMOTIONAL BALL PIT MATCH

Nighthawk vs. APW’s Cole Taylor

Draw after CWA gets involved

 

HOUSE OF HORRORS MATCH

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

 

MORE TRIOS ACTION

Vertigo & The Shadows (Shaolin & Quick Silver) vs. The Anarchist & The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & Reed Buckfield)

[Regis]

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

X-Calibre vs. Halloween Knight ©

Because he's the best your company's gonna get for a while.

 

TRIOS ACTION

Man O’War & DevilShark vs. F.E.A.R (Necromancer, Cyanide & Massacre)

The Faces need constant reinforcement to build them up to try to take down Halloween Knight.

 

C-W-A vs. Super Zero

No Clown Rules match? Still, I recall you saying that SZ sucks.

 

INTER-PROMOTIONAL BALL PIT MATCH

Nighthawk vs. APW’s Cole Taylor

Put your guy over, don't go mad with the traded talent.

 

HOUSE OF HORRORS MATCH

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

Let the new manager show her stuff.

 

MORE TRIOS ACTION

Vertigo & The Shadows (Shaolin & Quick Silver) vs. The Anarchist & The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & Reed Buckfield)

We've got to let more heels win here.

[Rickymex]

FOR THE TITLE OF ZEN MASTER

X-Calibre vs. Halloween Knight ©

Halloween is your best.

 

TRIOS ACTION

Man O’War & DevilShark vs. F.E.A.R (Necromancer, Cyanide & Massacre)

Faces need to be kept strong.

 

C-W-A vs. Super Zero

This is not a comedy match.

 

INTER-PROMOTIONAL BALL PIT MATCH

Nighthawk vs. APW’s Cole Taylor

Cole Taylor would make a good program against a heel or face plus Nighthawk is less? popular.

 

HOUSE OF HORRORS MATCH

The Horror Show (Nightmare Stalker & Nightmare Slasher) vs. The Mercs (Jester & Eraser)

Molly and the Horror Show sounds fun.

 

MORE TRIOS ACTION

Vertigo & The Shadows (Shaolin & Quick Silver) vs. The Anarchist & The Fiendish Villains (Mirror Universe John Gordon & Reed Buckfield)

Heels need more victories to support the Devilfish and Lone Shark.