OctoberRaven Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 How bad can wrestling in the C-Verse be, you probably are not asking yourself. What would happen if someone booked a promotion with some of the worst talent they could muster, in a nonsensical fashion. Step into the abyss of madness and see... Starting Workers: Buck Graham, Face, Fan Favorite Corrine White, Heel, Biker Dirty Frank, Heel, Degenerate Jon Jetson, Face, Time Traveler Militia Sister, Face, Tomboy New York Red Bull (aka New York Red), Face, Dual-Sport Superstar Rowdy Ron Greenhorn, Heel, Insomniac Stormette, Face, Alien Invader The Gambler (aka Gareth Wayne, and the owner), Heel, Gambler Trauma, Heel, Maniac Viv Jacobs, Heel, Biker Xavier Reckless, Face, Thrill Seeker Staff: Elegance, Referee, Happy-Go-Lucky Lee Bambino, Announcer, Cowboy Jerome Turner, Color Commentator, Frustrated Golfer The Grand Avatar, Road Agent, That 80's Guy Style: Sports Entertainment Key Feature: Mainstream Heavy: Traditional Medium: Comedy, Lucha Libre The shows will be named by clicking the "random article" feature on Wikipedia. Thus the first event is dubbed... UGH Joseph Sitruk 2010 I'm not going to do detailed writeups for these shows, this is a mad scientist experiment game rather than storytelling. Also don't expect me to post cards in advance. I will be just doing stuff completely at whim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Roguey Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Possibly the best way of naming events I've ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 For the banner of each show you should just do a random image from Wikipedia as well or such. Perhaps a bit too much work to make up the banner itself, but still an amusing idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 UGH Joseph Sitruk 2010 Pre Show: Jerome Turner d. Lee Bambino and Elegance in a three way dance, pinning Elegance after she just kind of trips over herself and Jerome covers her. Yes, the first match in UGH is between THE ANNOUNCERS AND THE REFEREE. Rating: 6 The show proper starts when Rowdy Ron Greenhorn cuts an EIGHT MINUTE PROMO about his opponent, Xavier Reckless. In this promo, he tries to compare Reckless' fighting to crop rotation practices in 14th century Hungary. Oh, sick burn yo. Rating: 4 Tables Match: Rowdy Ron Greenhorn d. Xavier Reckless when Trauma runs in to put Reckless through the table with a bodyslam. I was trying to get this to end by no-contest but oh well. Rating: 6 Tag Match: Militia Sister and Stormette d. The LWA when Stormette pins Corrine White after a knife-edge chop. Rating: 8 Stormette then for no apparent reason hits Elegance with a knife-edge chop too, which Elegance sells like death... until Stormette leaves the ring ten Elegance gets up like nothing happened. Rating: 16 Jon Jetson then comes out for his match, being accompanied by his manager... HIS BOY ELROY (aka Playboy Jake Sawyer). And yes, I did hire him specifically for this terrible joke. Rating: 24 Tag Match: Dirty Frank and Trauma d Jon Jetson (w/ His Boy Elroy) and New York Red Bull (and for those that didn't already get it, his gimmick is that he's a huge fan of the MLS team of the same name) when Xavier Reckless ran into the ring and punched Trauma repeatedly. Rating: 11 Xavier Reckless then reaches into Trauma's boot... and grabs what looks like a key to a wind-up toy. Ooookay. He then just walks off looking at the key. Rating: 4 UGH Weightweight Title Match: Billed as the finals of a 312-man tournament held in the Asuka Research Station in Antartica. The Gambler becomes the first champion beating the number one babyface Buck Graham perfectly clean with a shoulder breaker. Rating: 17 Final Rating: 14. So from this I've learned: -Sports Entertainment finishes don't actually work in matches that don't allow for draws. -Jerome Turner wouldn't job to Lee Bambino -Rowdy Ron cutting an eight minute promo is a LOT more productive than it has any right to be. Trauma broke his ankle. No idea if this will mean he won't be at the next show. Prepare yourselves for UGH's next now: Desafinado (this was less bizarre than I hoped... it's a Portugese word meaning "Out of Tune"...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Lyrium Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I love UGH as a name. Although if you should ever put on a good show, it might sound a bit like an orgy as the chant of "Ugh! Ugh! Uuuuugh!" catches on. ¬_¬ Luckily, that looks unlikely to ever happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho Sam Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I dare you to have RG cut a 50 minute promo. That'll drive the ratings up Also, here's a quick, 5-minute logo that will make you go UGH! http://i1052.photobucket.com/albums/s442/PsychoSamBBW/Untitled.jpg Actually, I don't know why I made it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 UGH Desalinado 2010 The show starts with UGH's first talk show: Let's Have A Rowdy Time with Rowdy Ron Greenhorn! His guest tonight, his opponent, Stormette! Stormette entered the ring and Ron began asking her some tough interview questions... such as what her favorite grade of sheet metal is, and which chapter of the book "On Writing Well" is her favorite. Stormette never got to answer these questions though as Rowdy Ron would give rambling answers of his own... until Stormette hit him with the knife-edge chop! Rating: 13 Weapon On A Pole Match: Dirty Frank d. Xavier Reckless. Xavier Reckless has the wind-up toy key on a string necklace around his neck. Why? Nobody seems to know. The weapon that was on the pole was a wiffle ball bat. Dirty Frank won when Xavier was knocked out of the ring and failed to answer the ten count. Yes, A WEAPON ON A POLE MATCH ENDS IN A COUNTOUT. Grade: 11 After the match, Xavier headed to the back, when Trauma (who was on crutches due to his broken ankle) arrived, kicking Xavier in the shin with his good leg and yoinking the windup toy key. Rating: 6 Singles Match: Stormette d. Rowdy Ron Greenhorn. Despite being dominated by Rowdy Ron for the entirity of the match, Stormette would hit the knife-edge chop and use the ropes for leverage to get the three count. Mind you, Stormette is the babyface. Rating: 10 Jon Jetson and His Boy Elroy would come out now, to re-enact a famous movie scene... the final standoff between Swan and Luther from the greatest movie ever, The Warriors. However, they chose to do this VIA INTERPRETIVE DANCE. Rating: 26 Tag Match: New York Red Bull and Militia Sister drew with the LWA when they all just suddenly stopped fighting and left the ring for some reason. Rating: 6 Trauma would then come out a second time to... well, we never actually found out why, because Xavier Reckless would beat him up from behind and take the windup toy key back. Rating: 6 (And somehow, the dirt sheet says this was BOOKED WELL). UGH Weightweight Championship Three Way Dance: The Gambler d. Buck Graham and Jon Jetson (w/ His Boy Elroy) after a ref bump caused by Jon Jetson... and absolutely nothing controversial or exciting happening during the ref bump. Not even checking on Elegance. Nothing. Then The Gambler would roll up Buck Graham with the tights while Jon Jetson just stood there and watched. Rating: 25 Overall Rating: 19 What I've Learned: -Trauma is a crazy dude for taking a Medium risk angle while injured. -Ron Greenhorn's doing solo monologues from now on. -My roster is full of egomaniacs. Xavier Reckless cracked his ribs. Nobody cares. The next event is called UGH YMPC Cricket Club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Xavier Reckless cracked his ribs. Nobody cares. Couldn't happen to a nicer person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boltinho Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 The Warriors dance segment was absolutely brilliant. Next time add Jazz. That should knock it down 10 pts or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaysin Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 It'd be nuts if somehow this works Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidenhoek Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 The logo burns the eyes! WHY DID THEY PUT IT ON A BILLBOARD IN TIMES SQUARE OH GOD THE CAR WRECKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolinc Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 This might be one of the stupidest ideas I've ever seen. Can't wait to read more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phreak Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 This diary amuses me greatly. I look forward to reading more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted October 20, 2012 Author Share Posted October 20, 2012 I forgot to turn owner goals on after I signed everyone... I wanted to start with the cream of the crap so I had them off. Owner Goals are: -Must get financial balance to 10,000 -Must not be in debt (Same limit as the other one...) -Nobody with problems with the law (which... I don't think is anyone in my current roster) -No MMA crossovers (same) -No pyschology under 35 (Buck Graham, Corrine White, NYRB, Stormette, and Trauma all fail to meet this. HOW DOES BUCK GRAHAM HAVE LESS PSYCHOLOGY THAN MILITIA SISTER?!) Also, INCIDENT! Stormette attacked Viv Jacobs. Don't care about either of them, so slap on the wrist. And now, UGH YMPC Cricket Club Pre-Show Iron Man Match: Jerome Turner d Lee Bambino. HOW DID THIS NOT GET A ZERO. Rating: 6 The actual show starts with Rowdy Ron Greenhorn, wearing a dressing gown (like Damien Sandow). He talks about his evening gown match with Militia Sister... well, actually, he spent eight minutes talking about proper loom maintenance. Yep. Rating: 4 Evening Gown Match: Rowdy Ron Greenhorn d. Militia Sister. This was because even though Greenhorn lost his dressing gown early on, it wasn't an evening gown, thus didn't count. Yeah. Militia Sister just tossed off her own evening gown after hitting Greenhorn with snapmare to knock him out. Rating: 8 Tag Team Match: New York Red Bull and Xavier Reckless drew with Dirty Frank and Trauma, when Reckless and Trauma brawled each other on the floor and were both counted out... even though neither was actually the legal man at the time. Rating: 10 After the match, Trauma demanded that Xavier Reckless return his windup toy key. Reckless says no. Trauma says he will wrestle him for it. Reckless is still saying no. Trauma then grabs a bucket of water and dumps it over Xavier Reckless' head. Xavier Reckless passed out from this sudden oversaturation, and Trauma accepted the challenge... yes, he ACCEPTED HIS OWN CHALLENGE ON BEHALF OF XAVIER. Rating: 17 Tag Match: The LWA defeated Buck Graham and Jon Jetson (w/ His Boy Elroy) when Elroy attacked Jetson with a wiffle bat for no apparent reason. Rating: 11 The LWA then disco danced to music. Not their music, Buck Graham's. Rating: 9 Two Out Of Three Falls for the UGH Weightweight Title: The Gambler d. Stormette. First fall, Gambler pinned Stormette with a shoulder breaker. After that, Lee Bambino would roll into the ring, and fight with Stormette. Instead of a DQ, the two brawled to the floor until Stormette was counted out. Rating: 26 To close the show, Lee Bambino would roll into the ring with Stormette. Stormette gave him the knife edge chop, which Bambino sold by running across the ring, leaping off and planchaing himself through the announcer's desk. Rating 17 Final Rating: 22 Things I Learned: -Gambler will not job to my #2 face. No, really, Stormette is my #2 face. -Lee Bambino can wrestle better than Ron Greenhorn talks, apparently. -The drenching angle has a five minute minimum. WHY?! No injuries this time around. Oh, and if you've wondered about my attendance levels, Joseph Sitruk was 10, the others 9 each. In two months' game time (I have enough Sports Enertainmentness that I can run a show every other month and still make a huge profit), UGH will run their next show.... *clicks random article on wiki...* Carl August Ehrensvärd (1858–1944) Now THAT's more like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 UGH Carl August Ehrensvärd (1858–1944) I lost Jerome Turner to NOTBPW (WHY?) and got Kenny O'Quinn to replace him. He's Irish and wrestled in Texas, thusly, his gimmick must logically be that of a Minnesota lumberjack. We open with ROWDY RON GREENHORN! Spending ten minutes talking about the episode of Antiques Roadshow he watched the other day. Rating: 3 Ladder Match With The Windup Toy Key On The Line: Xavier Reckless d. Trauma after they exchanged rest holds for fifty minutes, chopped for four minutes, climbed a ladder then chopped each other until they both fell, then Xavier climbs back up to grab the key. Yeah, I accidentally made this show two hours long, so I made this a 60 minute match. Rating: 6 Stormette came down to give Kenny O'Quinn a KNIFE EDGE CHOP OF DOOM. Rating: 17 Tag Match: The LWA d New York Red Bull and Militia Sister when the LWA double suplexed NYRB and Mil Sis just watched them get the pin. Rating: 9 Stormette then came back down to the ring, and gave Corrine White the CHOP OF DOOM! Rating: 12 Jon Jetson and His Boy Elroy, despite their apparent falling out at YMPC Cricket Club, enter the ring to "Walk the Dinosaur". However, they were walking like Egyptians. Rating: 15 Tag Match: Jon Jetson (w/ His Boy Elroy) and Buck Graham defeated Dirty Frank and Rowdy Ron Greenhorn, when Jetson hit a slingshot suplex while on Ron Greenhorn, Dirty Frank responding... by holding down Ron's legs so he can't kick out. Three Way Dance for the UGH Weightweight Title: The Gambler d. Stormette and Lee Bambino when The Gambler pinned Stormette with the shoulder breaker. Despite the fact that Lee was also there to take the fall. Yep. Also, as Lee Bambino was wrestling, the announcers desk featured ROWDY RON GREENHORN! Rating: 20. Lee then closed the show by once again running to the ropes and doing a plancha through the announcer's table. Why did he do THAT and not lose the three-way? Because it's UGH. Rating: 16 Final rating: 17 Attendance: 8 Things I Learned: -Double check the times of shows next time. -For a group with almost all negative influences and lots of beer and drugs going around, the backstage is pretty quiet. -Third thing not available. The next UGH event is called Moss Force. Which almost sounds like an actual wrestling show name. Yet, at the same time, absolutely silly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 UGH Moss Force 2010 Dirty Frank started a fight with Ron Greenhorn. Okay this will NOT stand. Frank, you're fined! Nobody puts Ronnie in a corner! And now on to the show. We start of course with ROWDY RON GREENHORN! He's in the main event, and he's EXCITED! So excited, he talks about his favorite hobby... MIXING PAINT! Rating: 2 Hardcore Match: Buck Graham d. Trauma when Buck Graham throws Trauma over the top rope to the floor, and Elegance ends the match for... nobody is sure why. Rating: 5 The LWA then come to the ring for their match, but first, they grab Trauma and double suplex him. Trauma is wheeled off in a wheelchair (we couldn't afford a stretcher). Rating: 12 Dog Collar Match: Militia Sister and Stormette d. The LWA after Viv Jacobs accidentally threw Stormette into Corrine White, but her feet were tangled up in the chains, so she fell down making Stormette fall on Corrine into a pin. Rating: 9 His Boy Elroy would then head down the ramp... nobody knows why because Jon Jetson isn't wrestling next. Stormette doesn't ask questions, instead, CHOP! and Jon Jetson dives off the apron and through a table. Rating: 18 Singles Match: Xavier Reckless d. Dirty Frank with a Thesz Press, holding the ropes with his hands for leverage. Not entirely sure how that actually provides more leverage... or why the babyfact cheated to win... Rating: 10 Lee Bambino went to set the UGH Weightweight title up on a ladder for the main event... but instead of climbing down... he jumps off and lands through a conveniently placed table! Rating: 13 UGH Weightweight Title Ladder Match: The Gambler d. Rowdy Ron Greenhorn, New York Red Bull and Jon Jetson (w/ His Boy Elroy). Rowdy Ron was a HOUSE OF FIRE for most of this match, but would end in he THRILLING AND CHILLING CONCLUSION as The Gambler scaled the ladder... and everyone else held it in place for him to make sure he wouldn't fall. Rating: 23 Final Score: 18 Attendance: 9 The final card of 2010 is Gutenberg-Jahrbuch. You heard me. After that I'll do the Top 10 matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho Sam Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 UGH Moss Force 2010 Dirty Frank started a fight with Ron Greenhorn. Okay this will NOT stand. Frank, you're fined! Nobody puts Ronnie in a corner! You scared that Ron will have the entire roster commit suicide? Just ask the mayor of Vancouver!? Should be... UGH Moss Force 2010 Dirty Frank started a fight with Ron Greenhorn. Okay this will NOT stand. Frank, you're fired! Nobody puts Ronnie in a corner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OctoberRaven Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 UGH Gutenberg-Jahrbuch 2010 Trauma punched a fan before the show. Am I going to punish him? HELL NO! Anyone dumb enough to come to our shows deserves to be punched in their stupid faces! In fact, his new name is Trauma The Idiot Puncher. UGH- The company that cares. We open of course with ROWDY RON GREENHORN~! He's in a tag match tonight, and he talks about the intricate process of weaving string for tag lines. Yep. Rating: 6 Tag Match: Buck Graham and New York Red Bull d. Trauma The Idiot Puncher and Rowdy Ron Greenhorn by DQ. I think. I'm not sure what happened really, Greenhorn was trading blows with NYRB and the ref called for the bell for some reason, and the babyfaces were declared the winners. Rating 7 The Gambler then comes out to talk about his title defense with Xavier Reckless. Xavier came down the ramp, only for Rowdy Ron and Trauma The Idiot Puncher to attack im and throw him into a casket. Why was there a casket at ringside anyway? Rating: 17 Singles Match: Jon Jetson d. Dirty Frank when Dirty Frank gave Jon Jetson a piledriver... then just sauntered to the back for no apparent reason. Rating: 14 Hardcore Six Person Tag For The Lead Announcer Spot: Kenny O'Quinn, Militia Sister, and Stormette d. Lee Bambino and the LWA, after Kenny O'Quinn pinned Lee Babino with an axehandle from the second rope. Rating: 8 And then, for no apparent reason, Quinn and Bambino both threw Militia Sister through the announcer's desk. Rating: 19 The Gambler heads down the ramp for his UGH Weightweight title... with Xavier Reckless still in the casket then... THE LIGHTS GO OUT! WINDCHIMES! ...the lights go back on and you can see Lee Bambino opening the lock... lights go back out... lights go back on, and THE CASKET IS OPEN AND NOBODY IS IN IT! GASP! BUT HOW DID XAVIER ESCAPE?! Xavier comes out from under the platform the casket was standing on! Almost like there was a false bottom there making the opening of the lock a completely pointless waste of time! Xavier then rushes into the ring to fight! Rating: 22 UGH Weightweight Title: The Gambler d. Xavier Reckless when after Xavier hit his signature finishing move, the elbow drop, he then choked Gambler until the ref counted to five... twice... and then rang the bell. Rating: 20. Final Score: 16 Attendance: 9 2011 Naming Schedule: Ambalpadi Abritus Michael Comyn Bubendorf (disambiguation) 2007 R-League Henk ten Hoeve Roster Placement Updates: Militia Sister -> Upper Midcarder New York Red Bull -> Midcarder Top Ten Matches: 1. The Gambler d. Stormette (YMPC Cricket Club) 2. The Gambler d. Buck Graham and John Jetson (Desafinado) 3. The Gambler d. New York Red Bull, Jon Jetson, and Rowdy Ron Greenhorn (Moss Force) 4. The Gambler d. Lee Bambino and Stormette (Carl Ehrensvard (1858-1944)) 5. The Gambler d. Xavier Reckless (Gutenberg-Jarbuch) 6. The Gambler d. Buck Graham (Joseph Sitruk) 7. Jon Jetson d. Dirty Frank (Gutenberg-Jahrbuch) 8. Jon Jetson and Buck Graham d Dirty Frank and Rowdy Ron Greenhorn (Carl Ehrensvard (1858-1944)) 9. The LWA d. John Jetson and Buck Graham (YMPC Cricket Club) 10. Dirty Frank d. Xavier Reckless (Desafinado) So yeah... for next year's recap, I'm doing top ten shows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho Sam Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 2007 R-League Will there be a match that uses the R-League? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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