Freaky Deeky: The Ballad of Minnesota Madhouse Wrestling (Tverse Platinum)

Big Roguey · January 27, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Pteroid" data-cite="Pteroid" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43154" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center">Three days prior to Raw Power... http://i.imgur.com/gKuy8Sk.jpg "Hey, Mr. Codd, you and I need to go over what you'll be doing at the show. Mr. Codd? ...Mr. Codd." ... ... ... "OH S*** HE'S DEAD!"</div></div></blockquote> Damnit Pteroid, I'm under strict orders not to die of laughter at work.

Bigpapa42 · January 27, 2017

Love me some Tverse and quite enjoying this. The diverse roster is fantastic and this is just flat out well written and funny. Keep up the great work!

Pteroid · January 27, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="smw88" data-cite="smw88" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43154" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Just perfect! literately laughed out loud at reading this. Hope it was a random event rather than something you edited but either way continues his luck ideally for this story.</div></blockquote> It was actually a random event, took my by surprise because Blair Beckett also died and I was going to have Codd cut a promo eulogizing him. I had to do some serious scrambling and the show fell just a bit apart but...well, you'll see. <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Voeltzwagon" data-cite="Voeltzwagon" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43154" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Codd And will we ever hear Meatball Parade again!?</div></blockquote> You may, oh, you may~

Pteroid · January 31, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">MMW RAW POWER

ATTENDANCE: 90

OPENING ANGLE: A CHANGE OF PLANS

The show started on a melancholy note as owner Dax Deekins -noticeably more haggard than usual- brings out the full roster (with a few unfamiliar faces, more on them later) for a ten bell salute to our Late Commissioner Captain Codd. Deekins plays up his indelible legacy of making matches for two whole shows before his sudden and regrettable passing in a eulogy for sadly passed veteran and declares tonight there will be a change of plans: While the main event will go on as planned, tonight there will be a tournament honoring Codd's legacy as a tag team wrestler and the winners will be crowned the first ever:

http://i.imgur.com/vp6hTj6.jpg

MMW US TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

With that announcement, our erstwhile owner ushers all but the first round competitors to the back as our...frankly super creepy announcer informs us that he'll be covering things solo tonight until a replacement can be found.

Deek's Thoughts:

Ok, things got real slapdash in a hurry, I had to delay the show to get my bearings post-Old Fat Idiot dying (I'm lucky the paramedics mistook my attempts to strangle the corpse as a really bad try at CPR) which meant Stacks and Shaun were gone AGAIN, but this emergency booking of a tournament in his honor seems to have done the trick and furthered one or two of our storylines...

OPENING TOURNAMENT MATCH

LARRY LIGHTNING AND DREW MARTINEZ VS LORD JEREMY VILE AND EL INDIVIDUO

http://i.imgur.com/2Mg8XMv.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/OX25GEk.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/O8OFPns.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/XqYmAbH.jpg

Drew Martinez is a debuting face for tonight's show and is announced as a former Army Veteran and the last guy Codd hired before his passing, which gets him brownie points with the crowd, doubly so for teaming with the notable favorite Larry Lightning. The two seem to get along quite well, Martinez playing along with Lightning's 80's antics. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, the mysterious Individuo is basically treated as Vile's whipping boy despite him being quite larger than the pompous Brit.

The early goings see Martinez's brawling and Lightning's tributes to Terry Thunder dominate the two heels, but a well timed distraction by Vile allows Individuo to rake Larry's eyes and trap him in the heel corner for an extended beatdown by both despicable grapplers that sees him get thrashed and cut off from multiple attempts to tag in Drew. Many times Lord Vile and Individuo attempt to pin Larry, only for Lightning to kick out or the count to be broken up by Martinez. However, the latter is eventually threatened by head ref Lofty Jackson that he'll be disqualified if he does it again, almost certainly sealing Lightning's doom as Lord Vile sets up for an almost academic victory when-

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5JqAaV_Xy8&t=3s" rel="external nofollow">OH GOD NOT AGAIN!</a>

Meatball Parade starts blaring over the PA system, immediately distracting and enraging Jeremy Vile, who forgets all about Larry Lightning as he storms around the ring, angrily yelling at our crew at ringside, telling them to stop the song that reminds him of his humiliation in his debut match! He makes to leave the ring but is stopped by a frantic Individuo, who pantomimes in the general direction of Lightning, trying to get him to focus on the match, but he's tagged in by the furious Vile who goes searching for the source of the frankly obnoxious song. As Vile disappears into the back, Individuo tries to leap after a recovering Lightning, but he manages to get the tag in on Martinez who runs wild on the masked man with a flurry of hard right hands and a discus clothesline. Individuo is reeling as his partner is nowhere toe be found and a sudden snapping Lightning Strike from Larry is enough to open him up to a Big Boot from Martinez for the pin and the win for the dynamic duo!

WINNERS BY PINFALL: DREW MARTINEZ AND LARRY LIGHTNING!

Deek's Thoughts:

So Drew was meant to come in as Codd's babyface enforcer, keeping order and such but since he went and died on us I figured putting him with Lightning would get him cheered immediately and I was right.

Also Meatball Parade will have a payoff, I am not putting us all through that madness for nothing.

ANGLE: VERMIN AT ODDS

The many flat screens of the Whammy Bar switch to a view of backstage where we find...

http://i.imgur.com/9k2TTw4.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/earzaqV.jpg

THE VERMIN!

Blackbird makes one thing clear to his stablemate, Stain, tonight the Vermin are in a position to spread their cancerous influence to every part of MMW, but only if they act as one! Tonight while Mutt finally rids them of the nuisance that is Billy Rokzov, they can take the tag team championship to prove the Vermin's Dominance once and for all! Stain is ambivalent to his comrade's rambling, simply getting up and telling him that he will 'Be Ready When The Time Comes' before heading out for their match. The last image before we cut back is Blackbird's scowl at Stain's impudence.

Deek's Thoughts:

Yeah it only now occurred to me that we didn't need to use a stupid projector to show our angels after all, we got flat screens all over the bar, how about that?

SECOND TOURNAMENT MATCH!

THE VERMIN (STAIN AND BLACKBIRD) VS THE ROVING GENTS (COTTON EYE JONES AND THE HIGHWAYMAN)

http://i.imgur.com/9k2TTw4.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/earzaqV.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/0taT6OE.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/wOA0ypm.jpg

The Gents make their entrance in the manner one would expect...that is to say, Gentlemanly. They shake hands with the fans as Jones twirls a cane and Highwayman fumbles about with an obviously fake flintlock pistol, playfully attempting holdups before getting yanked along by his compatriot. The two are a stark contrast to the far more dark Vermin, who come to the ring with only one thing on their minds: Mayhem. They charge the ring and get into a an immediate brawl with the Gents, beating them down and tossing them out of the ring for what proves to be a violent contest that nobody could have expected. Stain and the Highwayman battle one another outside the ring as Cotton Eye Jones is picked apart by Blackbird inside it!

It quickly becomes apparent that the Gents are outmatched by the sheer ferocity of the Vermin as Stain hits a Filth Cleanser on Highwayman outside the ring that puts him Jones at the mercy of both of his opponents in a glorified handicap match. The Vermin cut a brisk pace, decimating Jones with harsh double team offense that seem more focused on preparing themselves for the finals rather than putting an end to this bout quickly. It seems for a moment that their cockiness is there undoing when Highwayman reenters the ring to break up a cover on Jones by Blackbird, but Stain is quick to pounce on the old timey bandit and the two Vermin hit their finishers in sync and pin their opponents at the same time for the victory!

WINNERS BY PINFALL: THE VERMIN

Deek's Thoughts:

The Gents were a bit of my own creation, I saw Highwayman was local so I paired him up with this guy named Naruhashi, put Naruhashi in a mask and badabing, instant tag team. Granted, I jobbed them out pretty hard here but considering it'd be ridiculous to have two big babyfaces facing these two goofs I only hired for one night for the first tag titles, I think I made the right choice.

ANGLE: THE HATER'S GUIDING HAND?

Owner Dax Deekins comes out yet again to inform the fans of another change in the card. Sadly, the announced Minnesota Bar Brawl between Shaun Reed and Hades will not be taking place tonight due to an incident filmed earlier in the day. At this he gestures upward and the many flatscreens of the Whammy Bar come alive to show a scene from backstage, where Shaun Reed is accosted by a stranger...

http://i.imgur.com/RNx5pAK.jpg

So Mysterious...

Who howls scripture at him which keeps him distracted long enough for Hades to attack him from behind! The surprisingly stealthy obese man clubs Reed from behind with hard blows...and then clubs him some more...aaaaand some more. Whooooole lotta clubbin'. All the while the mysterious masked man eggs him on with nonsensical bible quotes until Hades lifts Reed up over his head and throws him down through a catering table! Reed is down and out and clearly can't compete tonight!

We go back to Dax who shakes his head and says he'll make sure that Hades gets what's coming to him...not from him personally of course, he is quite small and wants nothing to do with Hades. But tonight the fans were promised a Minnesota Bar Brawl and they're gonna get one as Spirit Wolf and Punk D will face off NEXT! The crowd pops for the next chapter of this rivalry as Deeks makes his way to the back.

Deek's Thoughts:

We filmed this angle a few days ago because Reed had to go work in Canada again, I think I've gotten to almost Waiting for Godot levels of absurdity here as it's been over a third of a year now and this feud is still matchless, hopefully I can get SOMETHING going soon, because good god am I getting tired of Hades'...Hades-ness. Also this new guy goes by Keith and he had some very choice words for me about how I was 'Killing Wrestling' by doing this but still did it anyway when I gave him some cash. What a douche.

MINNESOTA BAR BRAWL

SPIRIT WOLF VS PUNK D

http://i.imgur.com/TxupXAD.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/juyglIK.jpg

The match was advertised as a brawl and both of these competitors certainly delivered, Punk jumping Wolf from the second the Native American fighter left the backstage area. However, Wolf was quick to return the favor and Lofty was forced to ring the bell without either competitor in the ring because it damned sure didn't seem like they were getting there any time soon. Wolf was quick to the gain the upperhand, ramming Punk's face into the ringpost before howling for the crowd and ushering a fan away to grab his chair, which he slams repeatedly against Punk's back as the latter desperately tries to get away from the incensed native.

Punk's a canny competitor, though, and he resorts to one of his favorite tricks: Grabbing a fan's beer and trying to spit it in Wolf's face, though Wolf is lucky enough to be holding a chair to block the alcoholic assault-which plays right in Punk's hands as he grabs the chair and rams it right into Wolf's open face! Punk is swift to take advantage, swiping the chair and throwing it full-tilt into Wolf's face, sending the Native stumbling towards the Whammy Bar's stage, that Punk proceeds to toss him onto for a brawl above the crowd!

Punk slams a cymbal over Wolf's head and grabs him in a headlock, angling to shove his face through the bass drum, he looks back to the locker room, extending a middle finger while shouting 'PLAY YOUR ****ING STUPID SONGS NOW, ROKZOV!'-but this is his undoing as Wolf shoves himself out of Punk's clutches and grabs the nearest bass guitar to slam into Punk's belly and back! Wolf grabs at Punk's hair and goes to slam his face into the wall at the back of the stage again and again until a a swift kick to the crotch by Punk sends him staggering away holding the affected area. Punk paws at the wall until he finds a button, which he slams his fist into, lowering a mesh cage used to protect the band on exceptionally rowdy nights. Punk grabs Wolf by the head and proceeds to uses the mesh of the cage like a cheese grater, raking his face across it to show off the now obviously bleeding Wolf to the audience.

Lofty bangs his fists on the cage, demanding to be let in and...honestly, given a lift onto the stage considering his small stature. Punk doesn't seem to want to hear him, instead focusing on positioning Wolf against one of the wooden corners of the cage and going back to the same bass guitar Wolf used on him. Noticing Lofty on the outside, Punk shouts insults at the small ref before raising the bass over his head and going to bring it down on-the wood as Wolf dodges to the side! Punk yelps in pain and recoils from the impact, holding his arms and stepping back dead center of the mesh. He glares at Lofty who...starts telling fans to back off from the cage, waddling as fast as he can with his eyes widened in fear! Punk smirks, even as the fans back away to a safe distance, turning around to-

GET A WAR CRY SO HARD THE FRONT WALL OF THE CAGE GIVES WAY, SENDING BOTH MEN OFF THE STAGE AND TO THE FLOOR IN AN UNGODLY CLATTER!

Both men are down and out on the floor, the fans picking up a rousing 'HOLY S***' chant as Wolf shows small signs of life, dragging himself onto Punk for the cover that gets a three count. Now comes the moment of truth, Wolf crawls away as Lofty starts a ten count on the downed Punk.

1..2..3...

No signs of life from the fallen man.

4...5...6...

A twitch of a finger.

7...8...

A flop onto his front.

9...

He tries to push himself up and...falls on his face, spent.

10!

The crowd goes wild as Wolf, now sitting against the ring and holding his bloody head, has his arm raised by Lofty. He gets up to roll into the ring, panting and winded, but having enough energy to throw back his head and hooooowl for the crowd!

WINNER BY TEN COUNT AFTER PINFALL: SPIRIT WOLF

Deek's Thoughts:

Easily the best singles match of the night and it's not hard to see why, these two threw everything they had at each other and the crowd ate it up. I think we have a marquee match type on our hands and one day we'll look back on this feud as one of our best.

ANGLE: THE BIRTH OF SHOCK AND AWE

Drew Martinez and Larry Lightning are out next while the MMW staff try and get the Whammy Bar's stage cage back up for those nights when big muscley yahoos aren't tossing themselves through it. Lightning carries most of the promo, noting how him and 'The Slammin' Serviceman, brutha' were simpatico while 'The Mama Lightning's Baby Boy' had always been a fan of the troops, he'd never thought he'd get the chance to fight alongside a bonafide GI Joe in the flesh. He declares that just like the US Army, he and Martinez will bring nothing but Shock and Awe to their opponents tonight and send the Vermin scurrying back to the rat holes they came from. For his part, Martinez notes that he likes that name, Shock and Awe, and that's what their team will be called as the fans start chanting the name, presumably still riding a high from the last match.

Deek's Thoughts:

An excellent promo for Larry here, in other news Grass is Green and Water's Wet, though Drew did hold up his side of the bargain. Being a former serviceman has definitely got him some major props from the crowd.

TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT FINAL MATCH

SHOCK AND AWE (LARRY LIGHTNING AND DREW MARTINEZ)

VS

THE VERMIN (STAIN AND BLACKBIRD)

http://i.imgur.com/2Mg8XMv.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/OX25GEk.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/9k2TTw4.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/earzaqV.jpg

This is Martinez's first time facing the likes of the Vermin, but Larry's hatred for the the devious duo proves quickly infectious as Blackbird and Stain hurl insults across the ring at the newly minted team of Shock and Awe. Larry insists on going first for his team, which proves to be a bad idea as for all his heart, both Blackbird and Stain are larger and worlds more violent than the fan favorite.

The ring is rapidly cut off as the two vicious men take turns beating down on Larry between bouts of taunting Martinez into making a move that would force Lofty to turn a blind eye to blatant double teams and vile maneuvers that would have disqualified them! Larry's a bloody mess by the time Blackbird goes for the final insult, trying to choke out the entertainer with his own bandanna, angling his back to Lofty to try and keep the ref from seeing his attempts to put Larry out for good.

However, it's something on the outside that proves more intriguing as Stain tries to sneak around the ring to pull Martinez off the apron for a surprise attack! Stain's element of surprise sees him get more than a few shots off on Martinez, but the army veteran proves the superior brawler as he smashes hard shots into the face of Stain that has him stumbling into the line of sight of Blackbird, confusing him enough to make him let go of Larry and try to exit the ring to get at Martinez as well. Martinez is far fresher than Lightning, though, and is quick to catch a leaping axehandle from Blackbird off the apron and slam a headbutt that sends Blackbird stumbling away. Stain tries to charge at Martinez at this point, only to catch that humongous Big Boot from the veteran!

With the Vermin in disarray, Martinez gets back up onto his side's corner and holds out his hand, begging for the tag from the heavily abused Lightning who crawls...and crawls...and crawls as Blackbird gets in the ring and-Larry makes the tag! Blackbird tries to retreat, scrambling back from Martinez even as the army man makes his advance. Blackbird is slammed, punched, and thrown around like a ragdoll, treated like a crash test dummy much to the fans delight until Stain manages to recover enough to get up on the apron-

-and catch a Lightning Strike superkick from Larry that sends him out to the floor. Martinez then puts Blackbird away with the big boot and one three count later we have our first tag team champions! Shock and Awe hold up the belts as Stain dazedly tries to lead Blackbird to the back, only to get shoved away, as the leader of the Vermin storms off, incensed.

WINNERS BY PINFALL AND FIRST EVER MMW US TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:

SHOCK AND AWE!

Deek's Thoughts:

Giving a belt to a guy on his debut? Crazy. But he needed to get pushed hard out of the gate if I was going to give him any credibility as an enforcer and a victory over our perennial main event heels seemed like a good way to do it. Larry was hurting for a win anyway, as he'd been the go to guy for when the Vermin needed a win lately anyway. But don't you worry about the Vermin, as I feel like I've said many times before, I have plans for them yet.

MAIN EVENT

MMW US TITLE DOG COLLAR MATCH

BILLY ROKZOV © VS MUTT

http://i.imgur.com/68jzyRi.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/hnhcJ6g.jpg

Mutt seems more than a little happy that the Whammy Bar's stage is wrecked from the Bar Brawl, considering that will keep him from being the subject of another Rokzov Concert...which immediately becomes dismay when Rokzov shows up in the crowd with a mic and leads them in a sing-a-long of his own version of 'You Ain't Nothing But A Hound Dog':

"You ain't nothin' but a pinned pup!

"Losin' all the time!

"You ain't nothin' but a pinned pup!

"Losin' all the time!

"Oh you'll never get my title

"And you can kiss my pale behind!"

Serenaded with that little ditty, Mutt demands Rokzov enter the ring for their match and it's all poor Lofty can do to keep them still long enough for the dog collars to be attached and them to be let loose on each other. It's the kind of brawl you expect from these two at this point, with the added bonus of a built in weapon, though Billy tries to gain an early advantage by waylaying Mutt with the microphone he'd been using earlier. Mutt eventually responds with by yanking the chain to have Rokzov stumble into a big sidewalk slam by the rabid dog! Mutt beats down on Rokzov with harsh power moves that leave the champ reeling, only stopping to bark insults at the audience...which proves a foolish thing as he turns into a hard chain-assisted punch from Rokzov!

Mutt goes stumbling out between the middle ropes, taking Rokzov with him as the two exit the ring, Rokzov leaping off the apron for a double axehandle using the chain! Mutt is in obvious pain from Rokzov's harsh offense and the rockstar isn't done, beating on Rokzov through the crowd until Mutt just hauls off and smashes Billy in the head with a headbutt! Billy is dazed and Mutt sees an opening, dragging Billy towards the damaged stage and scaring off the technicians trying to get it repaired. He slams Billy's head again and again on the floor of the stage before tossing him onto it. Eyes wild, Mutt grabs the weakened rocker up onto his shoulders, looking for some sort of Razor's Edge type of move...

But Rokzov slips behind him and leaps onto his back, trying to choke Mutt out with the chain! The crowd roars as Rokzov pulls on the chain, shaking his head as Mutt's eyes bulge, the big man teeters, her sways, he looks like he's fading...

THEN HE FALLS BACK WITH ROKZOV, THROUGH THE STAGE, BOTH MEN DISAPPEARING INTO THE HOLE THIS CREATES!

The crowd goes insane, Dax Deekins comes running out as Lofty calls for the bell in a panic, signalling a draw!

DRAW DUE TO INSANE SPOT

Dax's Thoughts:

Not as good as the Bar Brawl, I put it down to the indecisive ending, but I got one more match planned for this little feud here and I need a good reason for it to happen.

FINAL ANGLE: AN UNCERTAIN RESULT

The locker room empties, people who would normally be at one another's throats are standing next to each other in concern for both men. Paramedics come out from the back to pull the limp carcasses of both men out of the hole and as we go off the air, our announcer is listing all the possible injuries they could have sustained...

Dax's Thoughts:

Just wait...juuuuust wait...</div>

Pteroid · February 2, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/2gJvptp.jpg

"-an' furthermore, if ya will LOOK at the EVIDENCE that I! HAVE! HANDED! OUT! You will see that this disinfomationalism that MY OPPONENTS have put forward is dangerous, bad! Everyone should be ashamed!"

"...Mr. Cohen, the question you were asked was about your stance on the tariffs...these are pamphlets about how big your hands are."

"Lady stop gushing s*** outta your ****ing *****!"

The tv cut to a 'Please Stand By' message as I scribbled notes down on my paper, a quick look to my phone and the chatterbox app saw a massive outcry between people disbelieving THAT GUY would disrespect a woman that way and others moaning about PC Culture and that the weirdo was being censored.

http://i.imgur.com/vjUipt2.jpg

"More of this, really?"

I looked over my shoulder as the night monthly sight of Dr. Goode entering with a briefcase greeted my eyes, I gestured animatedly at the TV.

http://i.imgur.com/gKuy8Sk.jpg

"It's insane, he's saying absolute crap, but he just keeps going, I'm taking notes!"

Goode shook his head, setting the briefcase down on my office desk, "You know it is generally agreed that the notion of television rotting one's brain is ridiculous, but I suppose they didn't take this spew into consideration."

"Have you SEEN my shows, Doc?" I asked, reclining in my chair, "I'm all about spew, I'm a spewmonger. King of the Spew. Oh-hey, it's back!"

"-aaaaand alla youse **** ****s can **** a **** if you even THINK of cutting my mic off again!"

"Mr. Cohen this is all highly unpresidential."

"Y'know what's unpresidential? Broads."

Goode sighed, I kept scribbling.

http://i.imgur.com/yd2dtyw.jpg

"Oh good, you're here."

"Hey, Ross, have a seat, grab some popcorn," I said, grinning, "We're just enjoying the show."

"You have an odd definition of 'enjoying'," Goode shook his head, "Mr. McGinty, please agree with me that this is swill."

"Oh yeah, that guy," Ross grunted with a look at the tv, "Thanks for reminding me..."

With that, he took out a cellphone and pressed a button. As Goode and I shared a look, he waited for whoever was on the other end to answer.

"Yeah, it's Ross," He said, never taking his eyes off the tv, "Yeah, I'm watching it, still funny to you? Alright, just checking in."

With a shrug, he pressed to hang up the call and looked at both of us, "What?"

"What us? What you! What was that?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Something far above your pay grade, geek," Ross crossed his arms, "That reminds me, I need to impose on your little squared circlejerk."

I blinked, "Uh, howso?"

"I need you to bring in some Mexicans," Ross grinned, "Don't gotta be a lot, just some."

"Ok...why?" I grimaced, trying to figure out the logic of this giant redneck suddenly taking an interest in lucha.

"Aaaand ya know somethin' else, we gotta do something about these filthy latinos tryin' to come over here and sell their drugs!"

"I got a bunch of Cartel guys coming over here to sell their drugs," Ross said, not even acknowledging the man on the screen, "They're fans."

"So like...this month?" I scratched my head.

"No, build it up slow, gotta make it look natural," He patted my shoulder, "They're coming in a month or two, get ready for that, nice bonus in it for you if you do."

My mind was telling me no, but my eyes were seeing dollar signs.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Alright, I'll start scouting talent," I smiled.

"Good man, maybe now if you try to run, I'll make it painless," His grin took away my good humor even as he left the room.

Man my life was messed up.

"THIS DEBATE IS OVER, I'M OUTTA HERE!"

"Mr. Cohen it's only been ten minutes!"

"CRAM IT YA HUSSY!"</div>

Pteroid · February 3, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">MMW NEWS: A FINAL BATTLE SET FOR 'HIT ROCK BOTTOM'!

Following the controversial ending to Raw Power's main event, we have been assailed with emails, phone calls, and extremely heated @'s on Chatterbox concerning just how our owner, Dax Deekins, was going to be able to finally settle things between our First and Current MMW champion, Billy Rokzov and his hated rival, The Feral Mutt. Well Madhouse Fans, we're here with a special statement from the Deekster himself:

"It's become increasingly clear to me that the rivalry between Mr.'s Rokzov and Mutt cannot be contained within the confines of a regular wrestling match, or perhaps even our newly minted Minnesota Bar Brawl. However a certain event during the bout between Spirit Wolf and Punk D got me thinking and while a mere chicken wire cage couldn't keep those two contained, perhaps a solid steel one can do it for our two championship brawlers! At Hit Rock Bottom the MMW US Heavyweight title will be contested between Mutt and Billy Rokzov in a steel cage with a twist: The Cage will go all the way to the ceiling and the only way to win is to beat your opponent so badly you can walk out the cage door unaccosted.

"Rumors that this is because the Whammy Bar has a low ceiling are unfounded and slanderous."

There you have it, fans of Mayhem, at Hit Rock Bottom it will finally be settled: Rokzov. Mutt. A Steel Cage. Two Men Enter, But Only One Will Leave Champion!

MMW PARTNERS WITH KECMO-TOEI!

Yes indeed, vaunted Video Game Developer and Publisher, Kecmo-Toei is teaming up with MMW to test out a brand new product: An Augmented Reality Helmet! MMW will be keeping you up to date with this story as it develops, but the result of this partnership will be taking on Lord Jeremy Vile at Hit Rock Bottom!

A *NEW* NEW MMW COMMISSIONER?

We here at MMW.com have been getting unconfirmed reports that after the tragic passing of Commissioner Codd, Owner Dax Deekins has already found a suitable replacement to bring some law to the Madhouse! What we know is sketchy, but it appears to be another beloved veteran of the wrestling scene and will most definitely be the 'New Sheriff in Town' here at MMW!

DEBUTS AND GRUDGE MATCHES IN THE HIT ROCK BOTTOM UNDERCARD!

Rokzov and Mutt will not be the only ones settling a grudge at Hit Rock Bottom, a feud that has been going on for months without an end in sight: Shaun Reed and Hades will finally come to blows at this month's event in -fittingly enough- a tables match! Owner Dax Deekins has made it clear that this match WILL happen and any action against Reed by Hades before the bell will result in him being fired! Also on the card we will see newcomer Hardcore Hilito face off in his namesake match with Stacks Armstrong!

Hit Rock Bottom is looking to be a wonderful card, folks, we can't wait to see you there!</div>

Pteroid · February 3, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">MMW HIT ROCK BOTTOM

MAIN EVENT

TBD

TABLES MATCH

Shaun Reed vs Hades

??? vs Lord Jeremy Vile

HARDCORE MATCH

STACKS ARMSTRONG VS HARDCORE HILITO</div>

Pteroid · February 3, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">Ring...ring ring....ring ring ring...

http://i.imgur.com/gKuy8Sk.jpg

"MMW offices."

http://i.imgur.com/hnhcJ6g.jpg

"Arf arf."

"Huh, oh hi Mutt, getting ready for that cage match?"

"Arf arf."

"What?"

"Arf arf."

"YOU GOT INJURED, WHEN!? HOW!?"

"Arf."

"A fully ruptured biceps tendon!? How long does that put you out!?"

"Woof."

"But that completely screwed our main event!"

"Woof woof bark."

"Oh just rebook it? Just rebook it? That's great, real great, WE HAD A STORYLINE GOING HERE JACKHOLE, YOU HAD TO GET YOURSELF INJURED AT DIET PWSUX!"

"Grrrrrr..."

"Oh blow it out your ass, you're fired!"

"WOOF!?"

Click!

"F***ing hated that guy anyways..."</div>

Big Roguey · February 3, 2017

woof?

Pteroid · February 3, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="MHero" data-cite="MHero" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43154" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>woof? <img alt=":(" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div></blockquote> Never settle for Woof when you can get Awoo

Voeltzwagon · February 3, 2017

Should stick to cats. they are......oh. Nevermind. They might be worse. <img alt="

" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Pteroid · February 8, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">MMW HIT ROCK BOTTOM

Attendance: 92

OPENING ANGLE: A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN

<div class="ipsEmbeddedVideo"><div><iframe width="200" height="150" src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/zCiKxjZTa2I?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="" title="Prop me up beside the jukebox by Joe Diffie"></iframe></div></div> opens up our latest show to reveal our brand new Commissioner:

http://i.imgur.com/mtG5H9x.jpg

Smokin' Stevie Gunn!

The legendary CWT wrestling star makes his way to the ring amid chants of 'Welcome Stevie!' from the raucous MMW fans. Grabbing a mic, he announces he is the new MMW commissioner with his easygoing country twang, and gets right down to business by announcing with a heavy heart that Mutt has been mysteriously injured and cannot compete tonight or possibly ever again in an MMW ring! He says that sadly tonight the planned steel cage match will not be going ahead and waits for the boos to subside before he reveals his replacement main event:

THE GAUNTLET TO GREATNESS!

Yes tonight, six of MMW's best and brightest will face off in a gauntlet match to crown a new Number One Contender to Billy Rokzov's US Heavyweight title! The competitors drew their numbers prior to the show tonight and Stevie assures the fans that this main event will more than make up for being cheated out of the end of MMW's first world title rivalry. Amid cheers from the crowd, Stevie makes his exit, arms raised as Dr. Goode and our new Color Commentator, Dylan Mayberry, put over his snap decision making.

Deek's Thoughts:

Yeah apparently this guy's a big deal down in Tennessee and...generally in areas with more corn than people. He's an alright promo and a godsend backstage after Codd kicked the bucket...you don't think I'm tempting fate with letting him use that as his ring music, do you?

OPENING MATCH

HARDCORE RULES

STACKS ARMSTRONG VS HARDCORE HILITO

http://i.imgur.com/a66BOvK.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/orldUJ5.jpg

Newcomer Hilito did little to ingratiate himself to the MMW faithful by shouting insults in Spanish on the way to the ring, giving referee Lofty Jackson nothing but guff once he was inside it. Meanwhile, after that display, the return of Stacks Armstrong to the Whammy Bar was quite a welcome sight as the muscle man slapped his biceps and posed for the fans, loudly denouncing Hilito for insulting the fans. However, his crowd pleasing ways saw Armstrong open to a sneak attack by Hilito, who began throwing clubbing shots to the back of Stacks. Stacks, though, wasn't one to allow such an attack to hold him down for long, forcing the newcomer back with his brute strength before turning around into a roaring elbow that sent Hilito tumbling out of the ring and to the floor!

Armstrong looked to capitalize on this, but Hilito was swift to grab the lid off a nearby garbage can and smash it across Stacks' face! Stacks takes a few more shots to the head and back before using that strength of his to shove Hilito back and rummage in the garbage can for his own weapon. Hilito advances again but gets hit with the contents of a half full cup of soft drink, obscuring him long enough for Stacks to seize the lid and nail him with it. Mayberry, ever the comic genius, notes that this may not be what purists think of when they call hardcore bouts 'garbage wrestling', but this might be close enough for Armstrong and Hilito.

Hilito's smacked again and again until he only goes and grabs the same walking cane of that poor fan Punk D once swiped from but a few months ago and starts swinging at Stacks! Stacks has the wherewithal to use his can lid as a shield until he could parry the cane and slam a kick to Hilito's gut! Hilito is sent staggering away again as Stacks gives the fan their cane back, even as Hilito grabs a new weapon from around the corner of the ring: The old standard, a steel chair! Stacks' moment of chivalry comes back to bite him as Hilito smacks him in the back with the chair while his back is turned! Hilito smacks him again and again, Stacks only finding a respite by rolling into the ring to hold his back in pain while Hilito angrily shouts at the fans.

Hilito's disdain for the fans luckily gives Stacks enough time to recover, and he smashes the debuting wrestler from South of the Border with a forearm to the face, that sends the chair skidding down to the mat and Hilito into a daze that sets him up for a Tower Stack Bomb onto the chair for a victory for Armstrong!

WINNER BY PINFALL: STACKS ARMSTRONG

Deek's Thoughts: Okay so our new 'International Initiative' isn't off to what you'd call a dominant start, but this was just to get Hardcore to be in the fan's mind for...other things in the night.

ANGLE: RUMBLINGS AMONG THE VERMIN...

The Whammy Bar's flatscreens come alive as we're taken backstage to the lair of...

http://i.imgur.com/9k2TTw4.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/earzaqV.jpg

THE VERMIN

Stain and Blackbird are in the midst of a heated argument, both holding slips of paper that we quickly learn are their entry numbers for the Gauntlet. Stain is refusing to allow Blackbird to take his number, arguing that if 'One of Us' wins it, then that's all that matters but Blackbird disagrees, he is insistent that he and he alone must win this Gauntlet to send a message to Billy Rokzov. Stain angrily states that he's done everything Blackbird has asked of him, ever referring to...something that happened with Mutt-but he's quickly silenced by the arrival of a hulk figure in the shadows behind Blackbird...

http://i.imgur.com/Q7t3aEC.jpg

What in the...

Blackbird smirks, leaning in to his stablemate.

"I think he's hungry, give it to me, or he'll do to you what he did to Mutt."

Stain's anger fades to fear, hesitantly, he switches his entry number with Blackbird, who pats him on the cheek and sinks back into the shadows with his strange protege. Stain growls as they leave, crossing his arms in frustration.

Deek's Thoughts:

Mutt out, new blood in, just wait, he's a howling good time.

SECOND MATCH:

LORD JEREMY VILE VS ???

http://i.imgur.com/O8OFPns.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/Q7t3aEC.jpg

Lord Vile is out first to his theme of the Anvil Chorus, sneering at the fans as he does. He is quick to stop by the MMW production table to make it absolutely clear that there is to be NO MEATBALL PARADE during his match. The attendants hurriedly nod, adding they're kinda sick of that song too and alleging they had nothing to do with it being played last month. Vile brushes them off with a huff and heads to the ring, eagerly awaiting his opponent.

Instead, what we get is an advertisement by Kecmo-Toei on the flatscreens detailing their new partnership with MMW and the development of the Fast Action Response Technology (some fans groan, some fans snicker) which includes a cybernetic mask and bodysuit used by their handpicked man, Jun Hatayama to increase his reaction time and grappling ability in the ring by feeding him detailed stats and instructions to assist him in realtime combat situations. All this preamble sets the stage for the debut of:

http://i.imgur.com/UbKbFcS.jpg

FAST ACTION RESPONSE MAN!

Who runs out from the back, arms raised in the air as the fans cheer this high-energy competitor. He rolls into the ring, the bell is called, this match is ready to get underway!

The first few minutes of the match are spent with high technical chain and mat wrestling exchanges between F.A.R.M and Lord Vile, the former always seeming to have an answer for the latter. Vile grows increasingly frustrated with the goofy masked competitor's surprising ring savvy, and gains control by going for every dirty trick he can bring to bear on his opponent! Indeed, it appears that Vile has F.A.R.M dead to rights with his DNA Test finishing hold when suddenly-

<img alt="raw" data-src="https://media.tenor.co/images/7f7f2882899755a705a2953b6fcfc263/raw" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Strange code begins to appear on all the flatscreens, looking like some kind of...dated movie reference. Swift deliberate taps of a keyboard are heard as both Vile and F.A.R.M are left confused in the ring until...

No...

No!

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5JqAaV_Xy8&t=3s" rel="external nofollow">NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!</a>

The infernal Meatball Parade starts up again, causing Lord Vile to fall into a rage, rolling out of the ring to yell at our production assistants who are frantically trying to find a way to shut it off. Meanwhile in the ring, F.A.R.M appears to be undergoing a strange process, his body falling limp and slack even as he stands until...he starts dancing along to the song, busting out a softshoe dance for the fans. This only deepens Vile's rage, and he runs back into the ring to pounce onto F.A.R.M and choke him with both hands, ignoring Lofty Jackson's five-count and getting disqualified as he tries to strangle the life out of F.A.R.M until bar security manage to pry him off and drag him to the back. Only then does the horrible parade end.

Winner By DQ: FAST ACTION RESPONSE MAN

Deek's Thoughts:

Heh, F.A.R.T, I kill me. But yeah, VR and hacking, I'm knee deep in current events despite having a fake royal in this match, huh? I need to get in touch with the guy I got planned to be on the other end of this, it's almost time for his debut...

ANGLE: SHOCK AND AWE, NUMBER 1?

We cut backstage while F.A.R.M is being scraped off the mat to find:

http://i.imgur.com/2Mg8XMv.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/OX25GEk.jpg

LARRY LIGHTNING AND DREW MARTINEZ

The MMW US Tag Team Champions, Shock and Awe are backstage and it appears Drew is giving partner a pep talk. Larry is quick to reveal that he has drawn 'The Dreaded Numbah 1, Brutha' and for the first time in a long time seems very skeptical of his chances at pulling something off. Drew reassures his partner that last month he showed the MMW fans that he has the guts and determination to be one kind of champion in this company and tonight he's got the opportunity to show them all he can be double the champion they thought he'd be!

Larry bucks up at this vote of confidence, though Drew does remind him that if it comes to the two of them facing off, he won't hold back. Larry grins and says he'd be insulted if Drew did and the two high five as the promo cuts off.

Deek's Thoughts:

Just a bit of babyface banter to get everyone in the main event promo time, I wonder if Drew would count towards the 'Mexicans' that Ross wants me to hire...

TABLES MATCH

SHAUN REED VS HADES

http://i.imgur.com/LbPvzxz.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/QQhbBXw.jpg

Hades went into this match armed with a confident smirk and a bad attitude, slapping his massive biceps with his big hands. He stood with hands on hips, ready to tear into Shaun Reed like a side of beef when...Cassia Christereas comes out of the locker room, staring Hades down. Hades laughs cockily, shouting out a query if Shaun sent his 'b****' to fight for him, when Shaun appears from the crowd armed with something far better than a confident smirk and a bad attitude:

A lead pipe.

Shaun beat down on Hades from behind, smacking him with shots to the back and kidneys as the crowd roars Shaun's revenge for Hades' stalking of his girlfriend and last month's sneak attack! Hades' strength manages to get him to back off long enough for the big man to turn around and charge towards Reed in the ropes for clothesline...only to spill over the side of the ring when Reed pulls the ropes down! Reed is quick to get up, getting onto the ring apron and coming down with a pipe-assisted axehandle blow from the apron onto Hades' rising dome.

Hades falls to his knees, shaking his head in agony as he leans against the apron. Reed quickly goes to grab a table from under the ring, looking to take out Hades early (though Goode questions if any table could support Hades' weight), when someone comes trundling out from backstage! It's the same guy who helped Hades' last month, just take our word for it, he certainly didn't get even bigger and took to wearing a shirt over his big body. He waylays Reed and tosses him into the ring, rousing Hades from ringside, who shakes his head and smirks as both men slide the table Reed grabbed from under the ring into it, setting it up in the center and picking Reed up. Reed offers token resistance but both men beat the tar out of him until he's he's open for a hellacious double powerbomb through the table that leads to quite a shady victory for Hades.

WINNER BY TABLE BREAKAGE: HADES

Deek's Thoughts: Far more angle than actual match, Hades was in need of a little something to make him a little better than a psycho stalker and I got tired of that Keith guy getting all lippy about how I was 'ruining wrestling' so I fired him and got this new guy, you'll be meeting him in 3...2...1..

ANGLE: ENTER THE TEN TON TERRORS

Post match, Hades and the newcomer pin Reed's body down to the mat with a boot apiece and demand Lofty get them a mic. Cassia makes to enter the ring, but Reed shouts in agony for her to run, which she does (honestly the best move, these two do not look like cardio enthusiasts) as the two in the ring laugh. Finally receiving a mic, the masked man rips his hood away:

http://i.imgur.com/4NsinSI.jpg

Yowza...

The man tells the audience that his name isn't important, just call him 'Squash', and he's an old friend of Hades from before the big man died and went to hell. The two of them spent their lives making everyone in their way as miserable as possible and tonight begins another reign of terror now that they know if you're tough enough they just let you out. He puts the entire roster on notice: The Ten Terrors are going to rip them all apart! To punctuate their point, Squash holds Reed down for Hades to bounce off the ropes and body splash the prone Reed. With a pair of evil laughs, the big men return to the locker room as Lofty tries to get help for Reed.

Deek's Thoughts:

Pretty good guy on the mic, he also works in Puerto Rico and Mexico so I hope I can get some of his buddies to come up here...

ANGLE: "NEW FRIENDS"?

Backstage we're treated to quite a sight:

http://i.imgur.com/TxupXAD.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/juyglIK.jpg

Like cats and dogs...

Spirit Wolf and Punk D are being held apart from each other by various MMW staff members while shouting insults at each other. Wolf is welcoming another chance to beat Punk all around the Whammy Bar while Punk is warning Wolf that his 'New Friends' are coming to MMW-some are already here!-and he'd better stay out of his and their way if he knows what's good for him.

The two are finally pried away in time for the Gauntlet for Greatness, with Smokin' Stevie Gunn instructing security to keep them away from each other until it's their time to enter the match.

Deek's Thoughts:

Just a little foreshadowing, don't mind that~

MAIN EVENT

GAUNTLET OF GREATNESS

WINNER IS #1 CONTENDER FOR ROKZOV'S TITLE

The fans are excited for this hot main event matchup of MMW's top stars as Dr. Goode and Mayberry talk strategy we see entrant number 1:

http://i.imgur.com/2Mg8XMv.jpg

LARRY LIGHTNING

The fan favorite comes to the ring with all the pomp and fanfare the people love to see in him. Goode notes that it's statistically unlikely for Larry to make it very far while Mayberry counters that with the fans behind him, Larry could find a silver lining in any cloud just as the music for entrant 2 hits:

http://i.imgur.com/9k2TTw4.jpg

STAIN

The angry young man comes out with a sour look on his face and a stomp in his step, making it apparent why he was so hesitant to give up his spot to Blackbird earlier. He enters the ring with a purposeful gait and seems poised to make an impact.

The bell rings, Larry struts in, tearing off the t-shirt he wore to the ring with a cry of 'OOOOOH YEAH, BRU-'

FILTH CLEANSER!

1! 2! 3!

LARRY LIGHTNING HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

The crowd is shocked as in one fell swoop, Stain has eliminated the fan favorite like he was nothing. Tossing the stunned Lightning out of the ring like a sack of trash, Stain glares at the locker room, the angry young man definitely having something to prove as Entrant 3 makes his way out:

http://i.imgur.com/OX25GEk.jpg

DREW MARTINEZ

The other half of the tag team champions is more than happy to give Stain a fight, especially after the way the Vermin member treated his tag partner. The two pick up where they left off in the finals of last month's tournament, brawling wildly around the ring and quickly spilling out of it in a wild fist fight that sees Martinez getting the upperhand with a big boot on the outside that puts Stain down, but not out enough for Martinez to secure a pin on the inside. Martinez sets up another, but Stain is able to duck out of the way at the last second and shove Martinez towards the ropes, nailing him with a german suplex that secures only a near fall from the Army Veteran.

Stain stomps wildly on Martinez's back, bouncing off the ropes for an attempt at a curbstomp, but Martinez manages to get out of the way in time! Martinez is quick to fire shots to the belly of Stain, shoving the angry youngster away towards the ropes to hit him with a superman punch on the rebound! Martinez covers but again, it's only a near fall as both men seek to put away the other while still having the energy to deal with the other three men waiting in the wings! Martinez ultimately makes the mistake of going for the Big Boot too soon and Stain manages to roll him up, hooking his camo trunks for the pin and Martinez's elimination!

DREW MARTINEZ HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Mayberry and Goode get over their amazement at Stain managing to defeat both of the tag champs in succession, and in the ring Stain waves a sarcastic 'bye-bye' to Martinez, who glares at the man that eliminated him in such a dishonorable fashion even as Stain basks in the boos of the audience. Drunk on the hatred of the MMW faithful, Stain cockily waves the next entrant out with a smirk-

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

It drops the second he sees the next entrant:

http://i.imgur.com/TxupXAD.jpg

SPIRIT WOLF!

The Native American badass sprints to the ring with a purpose and it's all Stain can do to back up into a corner to stop Spirit Wolf from pummeling him right out of the gate. Lofty makes Wolf back off, giving Stain precious time to regain his breath after duking it out so long with Martinez. However, Wolf paces like the very beast he's named after, glaring with an angry hateful yet oh so coldly patient gaze. Eventually, Stain must exit the corner, and when he does so he's flattened with clothesline after clothesline that has Stain bouncing off the mat much to the fan's delight. For a moment, it seems Stain's penchant for dirty tactics might win him the way when a swift rake of the eye leaves Spirit Wolf open for an attempt at the Filth Cleanser-but Wolf floats over it and runs towards the ropes, bouncing off them to catch Stain with a thunderous War Cry that puts him down for the pin!

STAIN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Mayberry and Goode note that despite Stain's impressive finisher and his sneaky moves, he couldn't manage the hat trick and one has to wonder if he'll be bitter at Blackbird for not letting him take the easier path. Wolf paces around the ring, teeth grit tightly, there's one man he wants, and there's a fifty/fifty shot he's the next entrant:

http://i.imgur.com/juyglIK.jpg

PUNK D

Wolf gets his wish as Punk comes out from the back, arms crossed, eyes never leaving Wolf. Punk comes to the ring apron, looking into the angry gaze of Wolf who paces the ring, demanding Punk get in and face him when-

THWACK!

A steel chair is smashed across the back of Wolf, sending him down to his knees as the fans shout and boo the man who snuck into the ring to waylay him!

http://i.imgur.com/orldUJ5.jpg

HARDCORE HILITO!

As Mayberry comes to the natural conclusion that Hilito is one of the 'New Friends' Punk mentioned earlier, the thuggish man from south of the border brings the steel down on Wolf's upperback again and again, flattening the Native to the mat! Punk finally enters the ring and picks Wolf up, taunting the crowd then nailing his hated rival with a Disorderly Conduct onto the chair after Hilito laid it on the mat. Lofty can only call to disqualify Punk but the damage is most certainly done and Wolf is laid out even as Punk and his associate leave the ring all smiles at getting one over on his enemy.

PUNK D HAS BEEN DISQUALIFIED AND ELIMINATED (NOT THAT HE CARES)

The crowd is gripped with dread as this leaves only a single man to pick up the pieces of this calamitous assault:

http://i.imgur.com/earzaqV.jpg

BLACKBIRD

Passing Punk D and Hilito as he enters, a brief staredown between the three ends with Punk spitting at Blackbird's feet and pretty much killing any notion that this was part of Blackbird's plan. With a shrug, Blackbird enters the ring, taking his sadistic time, he stomps and pummels Wolf with deliberate strikes that have the downed hero reeling. Blackbird throws back his head and cackles his wicked laugh, going to pick Wolf up and continue the punishment-but gets a punch to the belly for his troubles as the crowd cheers the sudden second wind by the Native!

Wolf throws shot after shot to Blackbird, backing him up into the corner before grabbing him in a headlock and slamming him hard with a bulldog! Wolf tries to go for a quick cover but Blackbird kicks out, cutting off Wolf's hope to end his opponent quick. Goode notes that a longer match certainly favors the fresher Blackbird, especially after the savage assault on Wolf with that chair but if Wolf can leverage his adrenaline and make the most of this second win, the match may be in his favor. Wolf seems like he almost hears this, quickly picking up Blackbird and smashing him with a flurry of suplexes, scoopslams, and clotheslines that have the fans on their feet. Wolf looks to finally put Blackbird away, setting up for a War Cry that could get himself his first shot at the belt since the battle royal so many months ago.

Blackbird gets up, Wolf takes off at a sprint!

And the lights go out...

THUD...

WHUMP...

SMACK!

When the lights come on, only two men are standing in the ring, even Lofty Jackson is down and out. The two on their feet are Blackbird and...

http://i.imgur.com/31RZ9FM.jpg

"Who is THAT!?" "Better question Mr. Mayberry, what is that?"

Blackbird smirks as Spirit Wolf lies at the feet of this gargantuan man who looks down stoically at the fallen Native. Blackbird, almost childishly, goes on tiptoes and whispers a command into this giant's ear which causes him to go into a rage, picking Wolf up and planting him with a massive chokeslam that leaves Wolf limp on the mat. The big man exits the ring as Blackbird rouses Lofty Jackson and pins Wolf. As Mayberry begs it not to end this way, Lofty crawls over and counts...

1...

2...

3!

WINNER BY PINFALL: BLACKBIRD

Deek's Thoughts:

An excellent match even if I had to book this on the fly, originally our new friend here was going to give Billy Rokzov the win over Mutt in a kind of 'let our enemy win to punish our ally' kind of angle before Blackbird kicked him out, this guy gave him a beating, and I gave him his walking papers. Oh well, either way, he's gone and we've got a much better monster (IE, one that is actually much bigger than most of the faces).

FINAL ANGLE: BLACKBIRD ASCENDANT

As everyone tries to get a handle on what happened, Blackbird grabs a microphone...

BLACKBIRD:

"Do you see!? Do you see what happens when you think you can stand against the Vermin!? That you are anything better than the Vermin?! Look at me, look at my eyes, do you know what you see!? Darkness, pure and beautiful, completely inescapable! These eyes looked at Mutt, that useless cur, and found him wanting, found him incapable of doing what needed to be done in order to seize control of this pathetic organization no matter how many times I sent him into battle against that mewling minstrel! NO MORE! Look at me, look at the man by my side, he has walked this world a freak of nature from the day he was born! OUTCAST! PARIAH! The normal people among you cast stones at him, disfiguring him with their wanton cruelty until I found him, cowering in fear and agony and I showed him a new way, a better way! The WAY OF THE VERMIN! Now, he's a killer -as Mutt soon learned-, he's a brute, he is...CARRION THE ELIMINATOR and he shall be the vanguard of my conquest of Minnesota Madhouse Wrestling!"

The giant, Carrion, beats his chest and roars loudly, the boos of the crowd deafening until-

<div class="ipsEmbeddedVideo"><div><iframe width="200" height="113" src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/bC3jD_l6q48?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="" title="Attitude City - NSP"></iframe></div></div> heralding the arrival of:

http://i.imgur.com/68jzyRi.jpg

BILLY ROKZOV!

The champion says nothing, only holding up the MMW US Heavyweight title to the cheers of the crowd, setting up the showdown between himself and Blackbird as we go off the air.

Deek's Thoughts:

What a way to end the show, Blackbird's magic on the mic, Carrion (formerly Wolfsbane but we already had a guy named wolf on the roster so...) is a legit scary guy with the bonus of not being a tool like Mutt, and Billy is crazy over with the fans. MMW, baby, we're going places.

Good places, not bad places, just clarifying.</div>

Pteroid · February 10, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/gKuy8Sk.jpg

"So you're saying this guy is solid?"

http://i.imgur.com/4NsinSI.jpg

"Yeah, boss, I think he's what you're after, worked with EEP down in Mexico until they closed. I heard my old bosses in ATW were looking to bring him in but I don't think anything came of it, so you shouldn't have to worry about him having other commitments. He's about as hardcore as they come and you're-what's this gimmick again?"

I shrugged at Squash, "Mexican Cartel enforcers."

"You think that'll play in Minnesota, we're so North of that border, we're damn near in Canada," Squash crossed his big meaty arms, looking skeptical.

"Eh, I'm sure there's enough bad MyBook memes going around here to keep that crap in the local's heads. Besides they're gonna be aligned with Punk and the fans haaaate his ass."

"Eh, can't argue with the guy signing my checks, take care boss," Squash lumbered away, somehow drenched in sweat from the act of doing so.

I leaned back against the bar of our first and only venue, surveying the motley assortment of part time ring crew working on deconstructing our cheap squared circle. I ordered a mint julep from the bartender, not caring with the dirty look and the mutter of 'f*****t' he directed at me as he fixed it. Everything was going well for me at long last and I was loving it.

"Worst booker of all time," I grabbed the freshly made julep and took a sip, "Kiss my ass, Skym."

"Eyyyy, brutha?"

"Hm?" I turned, already recognizing the voice of the man who was coming towards me...

http://i.imgur.com/2Mg8XMv.jpg

"We gotta talk, Deekster."

"Larry, what can I help you with?" I grinned, taking another sip of my drink, "Good work tonight...I mean, the promo more than the match, real good acting."

"Yeah, s'what I'm here about, Deekster," Larry started, scratching at the back of his head, "Ya kinda jobbed me out hard there in the main event there..."

"Casualty of circumstance, Larry, and please, call me Daxster," I gave Larry double finger guns, he was surprisingly unamused.

"Yeah it's just...fans may start thinkin' less of me if I just keep gettin' my ass handed to me. I mean I'm fine workin' the underdog angle an' all but I just won a title for ya, shouldn't I be gettin' a little more shine here?" He'd taken off his bandanna as he said that, holding it solemnly to his chest, "I really do appreciate ya giving me a shot, sir, I really do, but the booking here just don't make sense is what I'm sayin'."

"Larry Larry Larry," I shook my head, "Don't dwell on that, I already got plans for you as a tag champ, big plans."

"R-really?" He blinked, looking down his sunglasses at me, "Like what?"

"Well for one, I'm thinking about bringing a new guy in to team with you and Drew, maybe replace him when Drew goes on to do a singles run," I grinned, "Personally, the gimmick I got in mind meshes with you a whole lot more than Martinez anyway."

"Another guy coming in?" Larry tilted his head, "Can you afford that?"

"Can I afford it, of course I can afford," I laughed, sloshing my julep a bit, "Don't you worry your copyright-avoiding little head, Larry, as far as finances go, we're solid."

"Ok..." Larry sounded skeptical but pressed on, "So who ya bringin' in brutha?"

I told him, I told him the person, and I told him the gimmick.

"Oh...my...god," Larry's sunglasses were damn near off his face, "That's gotta be either the best idea...or the worst idea."

"My ideas usually are, Larry, they usually are," I grinned, focusing on this being the first one of those two options, "Now go see Rick about your paycheck and here-"

I handed him a stack of five hundred dollars.

"Don't spend it all in one place now."

Julep in hand I left the shocked Terry Thunder impersonator behind me...

"Hey jackass, you didn't pay for your f***y drink!" The bartender shouted after me, and summarily received his own five hundred stack.

Smooth as silk, baby, smooth. As. Silk~</div>

Pteroid · February 10, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">MMW NEWS: THE BLACKBIRD STRIKES AT DECLARATION OF MADNESS

We are a mere few days removed from Hit Rock Bottom and that was very much the feelings in the fans' hearts after the villainous Blackbird won Smokin' Stevie Gunn's Gauntlet for Greatness match after interference from (in order) Hradcore Hilito, Punk D, and the monstrous Carrion the Eliminator secured him a victory over the courageous Spirit Wolf and a shot at Billy Rokzov's MMW US Heavyweight Championship! So far the new commissioner has not commented on Blackbird's shady victory, only that due to his victory, Blackbird will be challenging for the title at Declaration of Madness in July. Meanwhile our champion was not shy about getting his own comments in about his challenger:

http://i.imgur.com/68jzyRi.jpg

"Y'know it makes sense that that painted up clown would need to A) Switch spots with one of his flunkies and B) Hide beneath the skirt of some jacked up masked freak in order to get another shot at my belt. Lemme make one thing clear about this match, Vermin's just a rat by any other name and baby, I'm a motherf***ing terrier, I eat their asses up 'til I get my fill!"

Gross but it appears the champ is up to the challenge posed by the leader of the Vermin, stay tuned to MMW.com for further developments on this white hot feud!

A WOLF ON THE HUNT

Speaking of the Gauntlet, the final man eliminated during it, Spirit Wolf, has gone into an absolute rage following the latest development of Punk D teaming up with the newcomer Hardcore Hilito. The Lakota warrior issued a challenge to face both men in a handicap match, but commissioner Smokin' Stevie Gunn has interceded on this matter and assigned Wolf a partner in the form of Stacks Armstrong, who defeated Hilito at Hit Rock Bottom. Where will this next chapter in one of MMW's major rivalry take us, find out at Declaration of Madness!

A "MOVIE STAR" COMING TO MMW?

Yes it appears that a Mr. Johnny Moore has been posting all over social media that he is the newest signing to the MMW roster. Bragging that his 'Connections in Hollywood' and 'White Dwarf Bright Star Power' are the reason for his signing, investigation into Mr. Moore's filmography has yielded...a Dunking Doughnuts Commercial and a stint as a hand model for a jewelry store in Sheboygan. No word from the head offices if this guy is even on the roster, but as with all things, we'll keep you posted!</div>

Pteroid · February 10, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">MMW DECLARATION OF INSANITY

MAIN EVENT

US HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Billy Rokzov © vs Blackbird

TORNADO TAG MATCH

Stacks Armstrong and Spirit Wolf vs Hardcore Hilito and Punk D

PLUS

Shock and Awe (Drew Martinez and Larry Lightning) Are Joined By A Mystery Partner In Six Man Tag Action!

An Update on Shaun Reed from Cassia Christereas

And Carrion the Eliminator vs Fast Action Response Man!</div>

Pteroid · February 15, 2017

...so minor issue here, I cleared my browser history and apparently the draft of the new MMW show I was storing on my Lazarus extension went with it so there will be some delay. Many apologies.

Pteroid · February 17, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">MMW DECLARATION OF MADNESS

OPENING MATCH

CARRION THE ELMINATOR VS FAST ACTION RESPONSE MAN

http://i.imgur.com/31RZ9FM.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/UbKbFcS.jpg

Our opening contest saw FARM riding high off his 'victory' over Lord Jeremy Vile running out from backstage to slap hands with the fans before striking a dramatic pose in the ring. However, the good times didn't last as the screeching of a group of vultures gives way into an intense rock piece heralding the arrival of Carrion the Elminator, Blackbird in tow. As Carrion stoically storms towards the ring (Blackbird capering behind him) Mayberry and Dr. Goode debate just where Blackbird got this monolithic madman with Mayberry contending there's something supernatural about the big man while Goode retorts that he is simply as disturbed as the leader of the Vermin and is taking his rage out on the society that spurned him. Mayberry asks how Goode can disregard supernatural happenings when they have a man who busted his way out of hell on the roster. Goode tells him to be quiet.

Oh also while they were debating, Carrion hit his Food for the Vultures Chokeslam on FARM for the win. What? You were expecting something else? Guy's huge, sheesh, optimists...

WINNER BY PINFALL

Deek's Thoughts:

A fantastic first outing for our premiere monster heel going forward, while certainly not the match of the night by any standard (in fact in my imaginary rating system I'd rank it the lowest) it certainly helped get Carrion over as a force to be reckoned with and that's what matters.

SECOND MATCH

SHOCK AND AWE IN ACTION WITH A MYSTERY PARNTER!

http://i.imgur.com/2Mg8XMv.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/OX25GEk.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/Q7t3aEC.jpg

The tag champs are out first, Larry looking far more enthusiastic about the current situation than Drew is. Mayberry gets over that Lightning specifically asked for this six man tag match and it appears that Drew is none the wiser to who their partner for tonight is. Nevertheless, the veteran follows his partner into the ring as the Terry Thunder tribute act asks for and receives a microphone.

Larry cuts a promo on the craziness going on in MMW even with the new commissioner and with baddies ranging from the likes of the arrogant Lord Vile, to the bullying Ten Ton Terrors, to the madmen of the Vermin, guys like himself and Drew need a little backup. With this in mind, he's taken it upon himself to bring in the only man he can trust to get the job done, a man he's had wars with, a man that has gained his respect over the years and tonight will join Shock and Awe to show solidarity among MMW's heroes. Without any further ado he introduces their partner:

http://i.imgur.com/HF4yETW.jpg

GUY FERRARIO

<div class="ipsEmbeddedVideo"><div><iframe width="200" height="150" src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/GRxofEmo3HA?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="" title="Four Seasons ~ Vivaldi"></iframe></div></div> in what is clearly a pink bathrobe, the debuting Ferrario struts around the ring and gives a raucous 'HOO~!' at every corner before stepping into the ring where he and Lightning stare each other down before...

<img alt="giphy.gif" data-src="https://media.giphy.com/media/Te0zPUD9m7KDe/giphy.gif" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Engaging in quite a peculiar handshake.

As Drew mouths his incredulity at what's going on (and attempts not to corpse), Ferrario takes the mic and declares that tonight is the birth of a new force in MMW: The Living Legends! Punctuating the promo with a resounding 'HOO~!' echoed by the crowd, he sheds his robe and struts while Larry tears his shirt in two before both look at Drew who scratches behind his head and...makes a hashtag sign with his fingers before declaring he's 'All X's and O's, High's and Low's, and down with all the ladies and his Tic Tac Bros'. Larry and Guy look at each other, shake their heads and tell him they'll work on that later. For now they turn to the locker room and face off with their opponents!

...

...face off with their opponents!

...I said FACE OFF WITH THEIR-

"I'M NOT COMING OUT UNTIL I'M PROMISED THAT INFERNAL SONG WILL NOT BE PLAYED!"

The angry voice of Lord Jeremy Vile howls from backstage, incensed at his constant humiliations recently. Referee Lofty Jackson waddles his way to the backstage area, trying to negotiate with the arrogant aristocrat until they're joined by backstage worker Rick Robard, then owner Dax Deekins, and finally the Commissioner Stevie Gunn himself until Lord Jeremy Vile is forcibly dragged out from the back by all of the aforementioned people AND his partners:

http://i.imgur.com/XqYmAbH.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/XqYmAbH.jpg

LOS DOS INDIVIDUOS

Almost carried like a crowd surf, Lord Vile is finally forced into the ring and made to stay there by his partners as the bell dings, Vile faces off with Lightning looking agitated to say the least. The aristocrat goes to lock up with Lightning and quickly tosses him out of the ring, shouting angrily at the back to 'Play it! Play it, I DARE you!' There is nothing, no meatball parade, for now at least...what there IS is a tag from Larry to Ferrario who enters the ring and plasters a refocused Vile across the chest with a chop!

"HOO~!"

And another!

"HOO~!"

Again and again, each slapping blow being met with a loud Hoo'ing from the crowd! Vile finally has enough and tags out to one of the Individuos, holding his poor chest on the apron. From there it's a matter of utter domination by the Living Legends on both Individuos as Lord Vile sulks on the apron. In a kind of reversal of how such matches usually go, an Individuo desperately crawls across the ring towards Lord Vile, reaching in a bid for a tag-

When a mysterious woman stands up in the crowd!

http://i.imgur.com/X6tqJJx.jpg

For some reason no one questioned the skintight catsuit...

She holds up a tablet and quickly taps in commands...

Wait no.

YOU PUT THAT DOWN!

NOT THAT!

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5JqAaV_Xy8&t=3s" rel="external nofollow">ANYTHING BUT THAAAAAAT!!</a>

With a howl of prissy rage, Lord Vile leaps off the apron and holds his ears, stomping around the ring almost (wholly unintentionally) in time with the maddening piece of royalty free music. Individuo has no choice but to tag in his far less fresh compadre who eats a Lightning Strike from Larry that sends him stumbling into a patented Ferrario Sleeperhold by Guy that eventually causes the win. All while the infernal Parade chugs along...

WINNERS BY KO: THE LIVING LEGENDS!

Deek's Thoughts:

Yeah so this Ferrari guy's more at home on the England scene but the second I heard his name, I thought up the pun and couldn't wait to put him with Larry. Drew's a bit of the odd man out but I think he'll work as the straight man to the other two's silliness. And then we have Lil Miss Skintight Costume here, meow amiright? Well she's only part of a much larger package as you'll see...

ANGLE: THE LEADER OF THE MEATBALL PARADE REVEALED!

As the Living Legends leave to what is most certainly NOT their music (Meatball Parade continuing to blare), Lord Vile finally notices the woman inputing commands into the tablet. With a cry of rage he charges, looking to do something to the women when-

http://i.imgur.com/XNJx8sq.jpg

HE'S WAYLAID BY A MASKED ASSAILANT!

The mysterious man proceeds to lay a beating on Lord Vile before tossing him into the ring. The Individuos attempt to come to Vile's defense but they're far too beaten down and the masked man dispatches them with ease! Vile attempts to fight back but eats a DDT before the masked attacker climbs the top rope and hits a moonsault down on the Aristocrat. The woman, smiling wide, finally frees us all from the horrible torture of Meatball parade as she enters the ring and takes a microphone. She introduces herself as Lea K. Wiki and the man as Hax before announcing their mission:

"We are here to reveal the dirty underbelly of MMW, and punish those that would lie to the people. There will be no more meatball parade, but what there will be is the truth that men like Lord Jeremy Vile-or should we say...JUST Jeremy Vile would pull over your eyes!"

The crowd is shocked and Vile (rolling out of the ring) is incensed! How dare they say he's not a Lord!? He's British, therefore Lord! It's common knowledge! Vile makes to reenter the ring, but the lights go out and when they come back on, both of these strange Hacktivists are gone...

Deek's Thoughts:

How's THAT for using current events? Hacktivist gimmick, baby, high tech rebels taking on the man! ...no I didn't just steal ideas from Dr. Android, shut up!

ANGLE: THE BLACKBIRD ASCENDANT

Backstage we are taken to the familiar and evil sight of the Vermin's lair, where Blackbird sits on the floor cross legged, Carrion and Stain standing behind him. Crowing out a wicked laugh, Blackbird declares tonight he will finally do what the Vermin set out to do from the very beginning in MMW: Claim the US Heavyweight Title. However, he realizes now that he can accomplish something far more satisfying than merely destroying this company, he can hold the title as his hostage, torturing the fans with his superiority in a title reign that will last from this night until the end of time! Tonight, Billy Rokzov's reign as champion ends and an age of darkness will dawn, tonight the Blackbird ascends all the way to the top, and tonight...

http://i.imgur.com/earzaqV.jpg

"MMW'S WORST NIGHT BEGINS! EYAHAHAHA~!!"

As Blackbird cackles, the screen cuts away back to the ringside area.

Deek's Thoughts:

Outstanding promo here by Blackbird, he continues to validate the faith I put in him as one of our top heels. And considering the talent we're bringing in, that's saying something.

TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH

SPIRIT WOLF AND STACKS ARMSTRONG VS PUNK D AND HARDCORE HILITO

http://i.imgur.com/TxupXAD.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/a66BOvK.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/juyglIK.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/orldUJ5.jpg

There aren't so much entrances to this match as there is a brawl that spills out from the locker room! The bout is the kind of brawl you expect from these four from the very beginning and it's not a disappointing affair as Wolf and Stacks pair off with Punk and Hilito respectively, both picking up where they left off last month at Hit Rock Bottom and the battle rages all across the building! The opening minutes seem in favor of the two heroics fighters but Hilito plays dirty and back body drops Stacks over the Whammy Bar's...well, bar and quickly reenters the ring for a 2-on-1 advantage over Spirit Wolf! This consists of punishing double team moves culminating in a clothesline assisted Russian legsweep that leads to a near fall only stopped by the timely intervention of Stacks.

However, Wolf needs time to recover and now it's Stacks on the receiving end of a double team, that is until his opponents go for the same legsweep/clothesline combo that took down Wolf and Stacks manages to pull Punk D into the way of Hilito's clothesline! With Punk down, Stacks starts brawling with Hilito and both men take a tumble to the outside, distracting the ref as Wolf sees an opportunity! He sets up a War Cry on a rising Punk D, going to bounce off the ropes for more momentum when-

CRACK!

http://i.imgur.com/HyhHnOu.jpg

"Who the heck is this!?"

"Better question, Mr. Mayberry, how many people in the audience are actually intent on getting involved in the match?"

This stranger leaps up onto the apron and slams Wolf in the back with a hard shot to back with a chair, sending him stumbling forward into a Disorderly Conduct by Punk that leaves Wolf open to a dirty pinfall!

WINNERS BY PINFALL: PUNK D AND HARDCORE HILITO!

Deek's Thoughts:

Do I rely on sneaky reveals from the audience too much? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe I do it too little, ever think about that? Yeah, consider that, Mr. Judgey.

ANGLE: PUNK'S NEW FRIENDS ARE NAMED!

After the bell, Stacks manages to drag Wolf out of the ring, shouting vows of vengeance at this new trio of Hilito, Punk, and their unnamed confederate. Punk and Hilito shrug off the threats, welcoming this interloper to join them in the ring as Punk grabs a mic. Punk declares that this new man is named 'Diego Martinez' and he is an insurance policy sent directly from his new friends back in Mexico! Tonight he puts the entirety of MMW on notice, Punk D is under the protection of 'Los Lobos Del Diablo'!

Basking in the boos of the audience, Punk exits the ring flanked by Hilito and Martinez as Mayberry queries just who these 'Lobos Del Diablo' are and Goode informs him that they're not the kind of people Mayberry should be asking about if he values his life...

Deek's Thoughts:

I'm a genius, aren't I? What better way to honor a cartel guy coming to make a deal than with a cartel gimmick! I don't know what the shelf life of this is, naturally but as long as it does what it's set out to do, I'm sure it'll work out fine.

ANGLE: A LITTLE 'MOORE' STAR POWER?

"LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION~!"

A curiously enthusiastic woman's voice leads into a peppy pop theme tune heralding the arrival of...

http://i.imgur.com/0rbVo0g.jpg

"HOLD IT! HOOOOOOLD EVERYTHING!"

A rather...eccentric looking fellow comes out from the locker room area, looking rather annoyed, holding up a phone.

"Reshoot, reeeeeshoot! It is specifically in my script that when my theme music hits, the crowd goes wild! People you are in the presence of a star, so how about you all ACT like it, HM!?"

He prissily storms backstage and...

"LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION~!"

The pop tune begins again and-

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

This strange young man comes storming out with an absolutely mortified look on his face, angrily berating the fans (and possibly any wrestlers waiting to ambush somebody) around ringside before storming into the ring and berating the fans for being so unprofessional to a movie star like himself, Johnny Moore! Moore declares that he is here to play the part of a pro wrestling icon and he isn't going to get that if a bunch of hayseed extras in St. Paul can't get with the program and give him the cheers he so rightfully deserves. He is naturally booed again which only makes him angrier until he demands someone from the back come out here to take a beating because he needs to get his frustrations out and show the fans who's boss around here!

He does not like who answers the call...

http://i.imgur.com/mtG5H9x.jpg

"Well Pard'ner, most everyone else on this here roster's busy tonight, so why don't an old cowpoke give ya'll the tussle yer lookin' for?"

With Moore looking less than pleased with this arrangement, Stevie enters the ring and we have an impromptu match underway!

Deek's Thoughts:

See? I can debut someone the normal way, bite me.

IMPROMPTU OPEN CHALLENGE!

JOHNNY MOORE VS "SMOKIN'" STEVIE GUNN!

http://i.imgur.com/0rbVo0g.jpgvshttp://i.imgur.com/mtG5H9x.jpg

The match is easily in Gunn's favor bell to bell, even as the newcomer Moore uses dirty tactic after dirty tactic to take advantage of the veteran wrestler. Pokes, rakes, and gouges only manage to give the self-proclaimed movie star a brief advantages in the face of Gunn's thirty-one years of experience in the ring! Indded, it's harder to say which has Moore reeling more, Gunn's hard brawling or the harsh slams and suplexes the old man throws his way!

Gunn looks to make a clinic of this with his patented Both Barrels short-arm clothesline but Moore suddenly ducks and-bails from the ring! Angrily shouting about 'Not being upstaged by some hasbeen!' he stomps backstage in a huff, taking an intentional count-out and giving Gunn the win. With a shrug and a tip of the hat to the audience, Gunn leaves, having broken up Moore's interruption.

WINNER BY COUNT OUT: SMOKIN' STEVIE GUN!

Deek's Thoughts:

This Moore guy came highly recommended, though I'm not entirely sure why, there's not much in the way of info on him in my database other than something about a blogger gimmick...I threw that trash out, who blogs in 2016 anyway? Nah, Wannabe Movie Star, that's the way forward.

ANGLE: CASSIA GIVES AN UPDATE ON SHAUN REED!

With Moore's interruption out of the way, the fans are treated to a much more welcome sight:

http://i.imgur.com/ZsfmFMG.jpg

The Beautiful Cassia Christereas

The stunning Cypriot is out to give the fans an update on Shaun Reed, who was sadly taken out of action by the Ten Ton Terrors last month after his table match with Hades. She says he's recovering in Canada and WILL be back next month for revenge. In fact she's out here to-

Sadly, Cassia doesn't get to finish the thought as she's interrupted by:

http://i.imgur.com/4NsinSI.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/QQhbBXw.jpg

An Especially Gruesome Twosome

The Ten Ton Terrors waddle their way out to ringside, Squash carrying his own mic. He berates Cassia as a bimbo who should get with his buddy because Hades is a 'Real Man' and tells her that it doesn't matter what Reed thinks he can do because the two of them will just keep crushing him until he's nothing but a chalk outline and a fading memory!

Cassia glares at the two bullies, declaring that next month Shaun will be coming back with a partner to take them on in a no-holds-barred tag match if they're man enough to accept. The Terrors smirk and agree immediately, confident that 'No Canuck has the balls to come down here and face us!' before going to the back, Cassia wisely uses a different exit, not wanting to deal with them...

Deek's Thoughts:

Yep, another debut slated for next month. This is gonna be the biggest of all, literally.

ANGLE: ROKZOV GETS AMBUSHED!

We cut to backstage where the MMW US Heavyweight Champion, Billy Rokzov is standing by to give his thoughts on his defense tonight-but Billy barely gets two sentences in when he's suddenly waylaid! A mass of humanity collides with him, beating him into the ground and smashing him into any available surface until the cries of our interviewer lead a cavalcade of babyfaces to come to his rescue. His assailant flees before we can get a good look at him but Mayberry is immediately pointing fingers at Carrion as the culprit, which the interviewer confirms when questioned by Commissioner Gunn.

Gunn angrily declares that this is enough to strip Blackbird of his number one contendership but a recovering Rokzov demands the match go on anyway, telling the commissioner that even with his new pet, Blackbird simply isn't on his level and he will prove it conclusively tonight! Gunn reluctantly agrees and the babyfaces give Rokzov encouragement as he leaves for our main event!

Deek's Thoughts:

Quick segment to get Carrion over as Blackbird's pet monster and Rokzov as a champion who won't back down. I'm eager for the future with all three of these guys, especially after what our main event entailed...

MAIN EVENT

MMW US HEAVYWEIGHT TILE MATCH

http://i.imgur.com/68jzyRi.jpgVShttp://i.imgur.com/earzaqV.jpg

Blackbird is out first with Carrion backing him up, the leader of the Vermin is all gnarled smiles coming into this bout with his hated rival and after Carrion softened him up it's not hard to see why. Capering into the ring with all the glee of a demented court jester, Blackbird poses in tandem with his enforcer while Mayberry condemns his road to this title shot. Next out is Billy Rokzov, holding his neck from Carrion's assault but more importantly holding his championship belt which he raises to the cheers of the fans. Grabbing a mic he declares there will be no Rokzov Concert tonight, instead the fans are gonna have to settle for a symphony called 'Blackbird's Girly Screams In A Major'!

After Carrion is made to leave the ring, Lofty Jackson holds up the belt for the crowd to see (which is rather difficult given his small stature) and the match begins! Blackbird immediately zeroes in on Rokzov's neck, already vulnerable to his Prophylaxis finisher from Carrion's assault, now an easy target for his own ruthless assault. However, Rokzov doesn't back down easy and his down and dirty brawling style mixed with the theatrics he's known for give him more than a few chances to rally against the evil leader of the Vermin!

The momentum shifts like a pendulum, back and forth again and again as every time Rokzov manages to put Blackbird on the backstep, a sneaky attack on Billy's neck doesn't seem far away! Blackbird finally seems like he's been overwhelmed when an attempt at a fameasser instead finds him countered into a crotched position the top rope! Billy bounces Blackbird on it again and again until he can finally build momentum to bounce him off it and to the mat! Billy calls for his signature Twelve O'Clock Rock Tornado DDT, dragging a dazed and ailing Blackbird into the corner, but is forced to kick the demented man away when Carrion gets up on the apron! Blackbrid goes stumbling back, smacking into Lofty Jackson who falls to the mat as Billy nails Carrion with a kick that seems to set him up for a Twelve O'Clock Rock to the outside...

But Carrion holds Rokzov into the air and tosses him bodily back into the ring where a recovering Blackbird awaits. As Rokzov, dazed, gets up, he's grabbed from behind by Blackbird! PROPHYLAXIS! As Blackbird makes the cover, Lofty Jackson shakes off the cobwebs and crawls over to make the count...

1...

2...

3!

As Mayberry shouts out at the injustice, Blackbird's music hits and the leader of the Vermin is awarded the MMW US Heavyweight Title! Carrion lifts the madman on his shoulders and Blackbird stands tall as the new champ over the broken body of Billy Rokzov...

WINNER AND NEW MMW US HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: BLACKBIRD

Deek's Thoughts:

Another great show and the start of a new era for us here. Billy was a wonderful starting champion but I feel like with the new faces coming in, Blackbird fits better as a maniacal top heel champion for Billy and others to chase in a scramble for the belt while other heels scheme to take his glory away themselves. Next month it's go time for MMW, this event could make us...or break us.

I would prefer make. Make seems the better option.</div>

Pteroid · February 19, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">TWO HOURS AND MANY MINT JULEPS AFTER DECLARATION OF MADNESS...

Everything was delicious haze of minty bourbon and dollar bills after the show was over, my blurred vision and unfocused thoughts were of little concern in the face of my wonderful intoxication. The show had been a hit, the fans having gone wild with anger for Blackbird's crooked title win, which just meant that as long as I kept them salivating for more, they'd go even wilder for the guy who took him out. Of course there would need to be a rematch between him and Billy, but that would be a mere formality on the road forward.

"Worsht booker..." I slurred, smirking to myself, "Kish my ash, Shkym..."

That was quickly becoming my catchphrase, it seemed. Skym, that fat old slob, what did he know about wrestling, huh? All he ever wanted was blood, barbed wire, and his precious garbage wrestling and look where that got him, huh? Just look.

Ok it got him a ton of respect and an apparently very highly regarded podcast but THAT WAS BESIDE THE POINT! He didn't have a company, I had a company, I had a successful company that only kind of required drug money to stay afloat and ran shows out of a crappy sports bar in Minnesota by CHOICE, CHOICE I SAY!

"Mr. Deekins?"

"Wuh?"

I broke away from my internal rage against that old coot to try and focus my vision on the...oddly feminine voice that had addressed me.

http://i.imgur.com/AmF4UCM.jpg

Yowza...

"Mr. Deekins, how are you?" The blonde bombshell asked, "I really enjoyed the show today."

"Well helloooooo," I grinned, ready to pour on the old Deekins family cham, the kind that landed my daddy what he told me was the third most attractive out of five sisters, "And jusht whoer yoo lil lady~?"

She was enamored with me, I could tell from the way she grimaced. I grinned and leaned in closer to her-

http://i.imgur.com/pZ46YzQ.jpg

-and came nose-to-nose with my road agent.

"She's the lady I hired to run our website," Rick grunted, looking annoyed-the damn cockblocker-, "Now stop makin' a damn fool of yerself and let her introduce herself."

She popped her head over Rick's shoulder, giving a small smile, "My name is Hannah, Hannah Gold, I'd just like to thank you for this opportunity to get into the business, sir."

I smiled placidly back at her, my Julep-addled mind trying to even figure out what she just said, "Right! Riiiight, webshite, of courshe, how could I forget the webshite. Great shtuff, jusht the besht, real...big time work!"

"Oh, thanks, Mr. Deekins-"

"Oh pleashe, pleeeashe, call meh Deeksh. It'sh a lil nickeryname we ha-have around here for me"

"Nobody but nobody calls you that, jackass," Rick crossed his arms, who was rapidly seeking the unemployment line with his libelous remarks.

"Maybe I should wait until he's a little more...coherent?" The lady looked skeptically at Rick, damn, she'd just said her name but I forgot.

"No!" I protested, gentleman that I am, "No...Sh-Sharon-"

"Hannah."

"Kate, I looooove your work with the webshite an...an ya know what? I think there'sh room for you elshewhere in thish company, yesh, yesh here definitely is," I nodded.

"Girl just started, are you really gonna just-"

"Shush, Rick," I cut my road agent off, "Now Lauren-"

"Hannah."

"Hannibal, how would YOU like to be a...a part of the MMW creative team?"

Hannibal put a hand to her mouth, "I uh...are you sure, sir? We've only just met..."

And it was love at first sight.

"Of courshe...how abou' we shtart ya off shmall...yooou can hire someone, aaaaaanyone ya want and give 'em a gimmick! Jusht remember, we don't do thingsh like tyyyypical wrestling promoshunsh here, nope! I want topico, I want current, I want to puuuuush the limitsh, unnnndershtand?"

"I understand, I won't let you down sir!" She smiled wide.

"Exshellent, Ricky! Do whatever Tanya here saysh, ok?"

"You are a ****ing idiot."

"Good man! Cheersh!"

And then I passed out.</div>

Pteroid · February 21, 2017

MMW NEWS: WE'RE TAKING SUMMER BY STORM!

That's right, folks, MMW is capping off the summer with it's first ever SUPER SUMMER SPECTACULAR! We're pleased to announce this special super card will be taking place in our home base of the Whammy Bar and our main event will be the rematch of a lifetime: Billy Rokzov vs Blackbird...

IN A STEEL CAGE MATCH!

As you may recall we were set to have such a match at Hit Rock Bottom, but MMW Alumni Mutt's injury sadly kept it from taking place. However, we now have proper reason to use it again after the Vermin interfered to help Blackbird win the title. It's the hope of Commissioner Stevie Gunn that the daunting steel will keep even Carrion The Eliminator at bay. Will this wrinkle see Rokzov regain his belt or does Blackbird have another trick up his sleeve? Come on down to the Whammy Bar and find out!

FEUDS WILL END, CAREERS WILL BEGIN AT THE SUPER SUMMER SPECTACULAR!

MMW prides itself on being the premiere proving ground for young talent in the Mid West and we're bringing that to the table at the Super Summer Spectacular with the debuts of multiple new talents: First is the exciting hard-hitting tandem of the muay-thai prodigy, Misha Bourassa, and the rough and tumble biker, Domen Trigg! Collectively they call themselves the Demolition Crew and we'll see them in action against the team of Los Lobos Del Diablo (featuring our second debut, Diego Martinez)!

Our third debut is from a man we already met at Declaration of Insanity, the enigmatic 'Hacktivist' Virus, as he debuts in-ring to face off with Lord Jeremy Vile, who looks for vengeance after the torment Virus has put him through in the past few months. Finally, our last debut is an enigma for a different reason...we just plain don't know who it is! The mystery partner for Shaun Reed in his tornado tag match with The Ten Ton Terrors, all we can tell about him is that he's spent time on the Canadian Independent scene and he's crazy enough to face two corpulent bullies in a match with very little in the way of rules! Will he come to regret this choice? Come on down to the Whammy Bar and find out!

SPIRIT WOLF INJURED AFTER RUN-IN WITH LOS LOBOS!

When Punk D unveiled his alliance with the enigmatic Los Lobos Del Diablo cartel, he did so after a hellacious shot to Spirit Wolf by Diego Martinez utilizing a steel chair. We've received reports that this attack has caused Wolf some serious damage and he'll be sadly sitting out the Summer Spectacular. Never fear, however, as his partner from last month, Stacks Armstrong, has stepped forward to challenge Punk D to a hardcore match! Stacks has more than a little experience in hardcore wrestling, being a former PWSUX roster member, but can he overcome Punk's allies as well as the devious dean of disrespect himself? Only one way to find out!

Pteroid · February 21, 2017

MMW SUPER SUMMER SPECTACULAR

MAIN EVENT

MMW US HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE STEEL CAGE MATCH

TEXAS TORNADO MATCH

Shaun Reed and ??? vs The Ten Ton Terrors (Hades and Squash)

Carrion The Eliminator vs Guy Ferrario

HARDCORE MATCH

Punk D vs Stacks Armstrong

Virus vs Lord Jeremy Vile

Los Lobos Del Diablo vs The Demolition Crew

Pteroid · February 26, 2017

I am sad-well, annoyed-to announce that for some reason, Lazarus didn't save my work on the current MMW show so it will need to be delayed.

But before I restart work I gotta ask: Anybody still reading this? I mean really? It may just be the silence getting to me, it is the harshest critic after all, but some kind of feedback that I'm not performing for an empty house would be appreciated.

smw88 · February 26, 2017

Well I for one am still enjoying following this 😀

I know what you mean, it can feel like no one is out there so apologies for not commenting more.

I like the fact this is so different from the majority of diaries out there, makes it unique and interesting because anything could happen and i don't have preconceptions about the performers.

Pteroid · March 11, 2017

I'm sad to announce that due to a mounting work schedule and general creative frustrations I'm going to have to discontinue this diary.

Hopefully at a later date I can try another one. Sorry for another dud.

smw88 · March 11, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Pteroid" data-cite="Pteroid" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43154" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I'm sad to announce that due to a mounting work schedule and general creative frustrations I'm going to have to discontinue this diary. Hopefully at a later date I can try another one. Sorry for another dud.</div></blockquote> <img alt=":(" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Please do, i for one enjoyed this diary <img alt=":D" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

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