The Hitchhiker's Guide to Wrestlemania

MainOffender · December 16, 2019

MARCH, 1987. BACKSTAGE. PRIME TIME WRESTLING.

It all started because of a 10-gallon hat.

"You look like an idiot in that thing, brother. Like some kinda cowboy-elf, right, Jimmy? What the hell's your gimmick? Ever heard of a bandana? Bandanas sell, brother. You should go to props, maybe they can get you over."

There was no doubt that Hulk Hogan started the fight with Billy Jack Haynes, although it took help from his buddies Brutus Beefcake and Jimmy Hart to actually finish it. No one in the locker room would rat on Hogan, though. During the weeks leading up to Wrestlemania III, the champ had been on a power trip. As the biggest draw approaching what would be the WWF's biggest show ever, Hogan had Vince's ear more than ever. There were rumors he'd gotten Jim Powers fired on a whim because he thought the kid couldn't sell. Plus, after The Iron Sheik turned up blitzed to a Prime Time Wrestling taping and got pink slip'd for it, everyone in the locker room was walking on egg shells. Fired for being drunk? What the hell was that? Sheik was

always

drunk. When did everything get so corporate?

Suffice it to say, Billy Jack kept his mouth shut, so Hogan didn't get more than a slap on the wrist for their "scuffle," which left poor Billy Jack with a black eye and a couple cracked ribs. In the weeks leading up to WrestleMania, Haynes stewed, the beat-down gnawing at him more and more with every fawning media appearance Hogan made.

At WrestleMania, Haynes would have his revenge.

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FOR THE WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Hulk Hogan © vs Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan)
The unstoppable force meets the immovable object! Months of battling The Heenan Family have at last led here.

FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) © vs Ricky Steamboat
After six months, this bitter rivalry will finally be settled!

FOR THE WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES
The Hart Foundation (w/ Jimmy Hart) © vs The British Bulldogs
The Hitman and Anvil won the tag titles under controversial circumstances back in January. At last, the Bulldogs have a chance at redemption!

WHO HAS THE BETTER FULL NELSON?
Billy Jack Haynes vs Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan)
These two meatheads have been feuding over who is better at squeezing necks. We're going to find out!

FOR THE FUTURE OF ROCK AND ROLL
The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs Jake Roberts
If the Honky Tonk Man wins, he gets to perform instead of that awful Alice Cooper!

LOSER MUST BOW
"King" Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs The Junkyard Dog
JYD has decreed -- bark bark! -- that there can be no Kings in WWF and that he'll never bow to Harley Race.

FOR THE RIGHT TO A TALK SHOW ON THE WRESTLING SHOW
Adrian Adonis vs "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
It's The Flower Shop vs Piper's Pit! Who will reign supreme as WWF's host with the most?

GRUDGE MATCH
Paul Orndorff (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs Tito Santana
After spurning an offer of management by Heenan (it was never a serious offer anyway, Monsoon!), Santana must now face down one of the Family's biggest assets.

TAG MATCH
The Can-Am Connection vs Demolition
Demolition have been running roughshod over the tag division while also firing multiple managers as they search for someone capable of representing a couple of bondage demons. The Can-Am Connection have promised to end their reign of terror.

PLUS!
A pre-show Battle Royal featuring the rest of the roster so they stop whining!

OKAY, WHAT IS THIS? This is a Watcher diary. Sort of. My plan is to jump in to the WWF every year and book only the month of March, adjusting to all the nonsense that the AI has done in the meantime. I'm also going to do December for WCW when they start up. I'm also tempted to do the occasional G1 or a Champion's Carnival tour, but we'll see how that goes. If some other company rises to prominence, I might consider doing their big month, but the overly ambitious goal of this game is to re-book every Wrestlemania. LOL. I'll be burnt out in two weeks.

I've never written a diary before, although I've always been tempted. I'm going to be figuring out the format over the first few posts as well as what I actually want to write about. My plan at the moment is to take a broad view of events, but I'm happy to drill down if someone is interested in a specific wrestler/company.

A FEW WORDS ON METHODOLOGY: This isn't a pure Watcher game. I'm being pretty hands-on, jumping into companies whenever I see them screwing up, usually to add TV deals or sign talent languishing in unemployment, and also to phase out Time Decline workers that I feel have overstayed their welcome. However, there's not much I can do with bizarre AI alignment changes and ridiculous title runs, so I'm just rolling with that stuff and trying to head-canon a story around it.

I'm using The Golden Age mod. Duh.

NEXT: Wrestlemania III results! I booked this one pretty close to history. That won't be happening in the future.

Thanks for reading!

MainOffender · December 17, 2019

Shattering all attendance records and possibly the laws of physics, 145,000 people crammed into an unnamed venue located somewhere in the Great Lakes for the third installment of WrestleMania! (How did they find this generic place without GPS? Perhaps they clicked on it by accident.)

As fans hiked to their seats, they were treated to a 20-man Battle Royale featuring the likes of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Butch Reed, Dino Bravo, Jim Duggan, Kamala, and Koko B Ware. The match came down to Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake and King Kong Bundy, with Beefcake somehow managing to trick the monster over the top rope.
Brutus Beefcake won a 20-Man Battle Royale. Grade: C.

Opening the show, Roddy Piper rode to the ring on a replica of The Flower Shop set, which he destroyed while gliding down the aisle. (Grade: A+). Devastated by the destruction of his property, Adrian Adonis was never able to get his head in the match and eventually sunk deep into a Sleeper.
Roddy Piper d. Adrian Adonis via submission. Grade: B.

In the next match, Paul Orndorff dominated Tito Santana from the opening bell, even holding Santana so that manager Bobby Heenan could get a good slap in. Orndorff's overconfidence would eventually be his undoing as Tito caught him with a small package.
Tito Santana d. Paul Orndorff via small package. Grade: B-.

Accompanied to the ring by Bob Uecker in bondage gear, Demolition prevailed over the Can-Am Connection in a back-and-forth match. Afterward, they fired Uecker, the demons still seeking representation.
Demolition d. The Can-Am Connection via Decapitation on Tom Zenk. Grade: C.

The Junkyard Dog showed up to WrestleMania drunk and high, but Vince McMahon wasn't about to change his signature card the day of. He sent JYD out there to receive a stiff beating at the hands of Harley Race. Based on the response, Race could've carried a corpse to a decent match.
Harley Race d. The Junkyard Dog via pinfall. Grade: B.

In the post-match, Race beat down and humiliated JYD. Bowing wasn't a problem for JYD as he could barely stand up.
GRADE: A*

In a mediocre match, Jake Roberts bested The Honky Tonk man after dodging a guitar swing to the dome. Roberts then celebrated with Alice Cooper, who was allowed to play WrestleMania.
Jake Roberts d. The Honky Tonk Man via DDT. Grade: C+.

The tag-team titles were on the line in our next contest, with The Hart Foundation taking on The British Bulldogs. The health of the Dynamite Kid had been a subject for Bret and Jim going into this match and they focused on the recently returned Dynamite for most of the match. A hot tag to Davey Boy nearly turned the tide, but some well-time interference from Jimmy Hart allowed Bret Hart to pin Smith with a handful of tights.
The Hart Foundation d. The British Bulldogs via pinfall to retain the WWF World Tag Team Titles. Grade: B-.

Backstage, The Macho Man ranted about how no one respected his abilities as Intercontinental Champion. The fans were too busy eyeing Elizabeth to appreciate his greatness. Well, not tonight, Mean Gene. Tonight, he'd beat Steamboat alone.
Grade: A*

The battle between Savage and Steamboat lived up to the hype. A thrilling back-and-forth that lasted more than 20 minutes, Savage seemed gifted an opportunity early when the ref took an errant kick to the head. Macho seemed prepared to hit a dazed Steamboat with the ring bell but... he stopped himself? Later, with Savage fading in a Boston crab, Elizabeth rushed from the back and motivated Macho to reach the ropes. A series of reversals followed, a slam, an elbow drop... and a clean victory for Macho Man.
Randy Savage d. Ricky Steamboat via pinfall. Grade: A* (100).

Coming after an obvious Match of the Year was perhaps WrestleMania's most memorable moment... for all the wrong reasons. As soon as the battle of the Full Nelsons between Hercules and Billy Jack Haynes began, it was clear something was off with Haynes. He no sold every maneuver by a frustrated Hercules, refused to cooperate with a Full Nelson, and mostly just stood around yelling at fans with Hogan gear. Eventually, the ref called for a stoppage due to submission when Hercules managed to get one of Haynes' arms halfway secured. Haynes immediately stormed to the back.
Hercules d. Billy Jack Haynes via "submission." GRADE: C.

Following Haynes' bizarre performance, Hulk Hogan entered to rally his little Hulkamaniacs. The champ was clearly pissed by what had come before, but the crowd loved him, as usual.
GRADE: A*

Finally, Hulk Hogan met Andre the Giant in the main event. Two big loads bouncing off each other, building up to a massive body slam by Hogan. Most would agree that the match was good -- but clearly overshadowed by the Steamboat/Savage classic and Billy Jack's kayfabe breakdown.
Hulk Hogan d. Andre the Giant to retain the WWF World Heavyweight title. GRADE: B+

SHOW GRADE: A (94).

Some under the hood discussion: I did book the Prime Time Wrestling and Superstars episodes leading up to this, but because I stuck so close to history they didn't seem interesting enough to write up. That was where Haynes got jumped by Hogan's clique and, after I gave Hogan a slap on the wrist, that's why Haynes was pissed enough to "display true unprofessionalism" and tank his match at WrestleMania. In the future, I'll be writing up the Prime Time Wrestling episodes as they'll give a good look at how the world has changed. Superstars I pretty much auto-book so I won't be recapping those.

WRESTLEMANIA III: THE AFTERMATH

Billy Jack Haynes was, of course, immediately fired following WrestleMania. The heat from that incident apparently distracted McMahon enough that he forgot all about JYD showing up bombed.

Firing Haynes only increased public curiosity in the incident. Why had Haynes acted out in front of wrestling's biggest audience? Were rumors about Hulk Hogan being a total dick true? Wait... was wrestling FAKE?? Haynes enjoyed the limelight, telling his story first to the dirt sheets and later to Entertainment Tonight. Hulk Hogan was a bully and a phony! He didn't even pray.

Meanwhile, on the episode of Prime Time Wrestling after WrestleMania, Randy Savage received a standing ovation from the fans. He called out Ricky Steamboat and offered to shake The Dragon's hand. The show of good sportsmanship would turn Savage face.

At the same time, heat on Hogan was growing. McMahon saw an opportunity to defuse the situation... by making it all part of the show. And so, at Saturday Night's Main Event in June, Hulk Hogan defended his World Title against newly beloved Intercontinental Champion Randy Savage. On the ropes against Savage, Hogan resorted to blasting Macho in the face with the World Title, bloodying him and then trying to take his head all the way off with multiple leg drops. The fans were shocked. In the weeks to come, Hogan would align himself with Jimmy Hart.

Hulkamania's dead, brother.

NEXT: The rest of 1987!

joshspicer · December 17, 2019

Balanced, as all things should be.

With the return of the Macho Madness must befall the death of Hulkamania.

alpha2117 · December 17, 2019

Cool concept - good luck with this

joshbrady91 · December 17, 2019

Really interesting idea for a diary! I will keep an eye out. Great first show.

MainOffender · December 17, 2019

Balanced, as all things should be.

With the return of the Macho Madness must befall the death of Hulkamania.

LOL! I really wish this was programmed into the code.

Cool concept - good luck with this

Really interesting idea for a diary! I will keep an eye out. Great first show.

Thanks for checking it out!

MainOffender · December 17, 2019

1987: THE YEAR IN REVIEW

THE KING OF THE RING: After turning heel, Hulk Hogan declared that he should assume his rightful place as the King of WWF. True to his word, he made it to the tournament finals, before suffering an upset loss to Brutus Beefcake. Hogan would get his win back in at the December MSG show.

CHAMPIONS STAY CHAMPIONS: The Hart Foundation defeated the British Bulldogs in January. That would turn out to be the only title change in the entire year as Hogan, Savage, Hitman and the Anvil, and even Women's Champion (it exists) The Fabulous Moolah defended successfully.

THE THREE ICONS: At the beginning of the year, Hulk and Andre were considered Icons in the USA. By the end of the year, thanks to his must-see talk show segments, Roddy Piper joined them atop the industry.

THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD: Despite unquestioned dominance, Vince McMahon nonetheless bought out Continental Championship Wrestling, Atlantic Grand Prix Wrestling, and the World Wrestling Association. You can see them in the vault in 30 years!

FLAIR REIGNS SUPREME: Ric Flair started and ended the year as NWA World Champion, beating back competition like the Garvin Brothers, Lex Luger, and Big Bubba Rogers. Despite his dominance, something seems off about Flair. A slight paunch, an increasing slowness to his strut... is it possible the young man is starting to feel his age?

COCAINE COUNTY, TEXAS: "Kerry, wipe your nose and get in here, I got a contract for you to sign!" WrestleMania III accounted for a surge in interest across the entire business. Suddenly flush with cash, Fritz Von Erich began signing talent to long term contracts, hoping to stave off the vultures up north. He snatched up the likes of Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Kevin Sullivan, and the Rock n Roll Express. Not to mention the huge 10 year contract he handed to his son Kerry. This set off a chain reaction with the other big survivors of the territory scene - JCP and AWA - also making many workers exclusive.

THE BATTLE FOR JAPAN, PART 1: In the never-ending rivalry between these two companies, New Japan finished the year ahead.

CHAMPION'S CARNIVAL RETURNS: After a five year absence, All Japan held the Champion's Carnival tournament. Terry Funk won, defeating Jumbo Tsuruta in the finals.

INTERNATIONAL WRESTLING GRAND PRIX: New Japan's signature tournament was won by Tatsumi Fujinami for the first time. He defeated Steve Williams.

TALE OF TWO TIGERS: Despite his controversial reputation, Satoru Sayama returned to wrestling in July, agreeing to dates with both All Japan and New Japan. He’s wrestling as himself in All Japan while adopting “King Tiger” moniker in New Japan.

WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Akira Maeda (NJPW)
US WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Randy Savage (#2)
TAG TEAM: Akira Maeda & Nobuhiko Takada (NJPW)
YOUNG WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Masahiro Chono (NJPW)
VETERAN WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Terry Funk (AJPW)
FEMALE WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Devil Masami (AJW)
COMPANY OF THE YEAR: NJPW
MOST IMPROVED COMPANY: WCWA
CARD OF THE YEAR: The International Wrestling Grand Prix '87

Doing something a bit different with Match of the Year. Too often, random throw away matches from TV or tour shows win this award. These are my snobbishly curated matches of the year, pulling at least one entry from each Cult+ company and excluding matches that don't appear on major events.

10) Al Perez d Kerry Von Erich, Labor Day Star Wars, September. 82. The WCWA locker room is a cesspool of drugs and mayhem. I'm amazed they pulled off this high of a rating.

9) Kung Fu d. Mascara Ano 2000 to retain the NWA Middleweight Title, CMLL Anniversary Show, September. 87. Man, I don't know what the hell goes on in Mexico.

8) Ric Flair d. Nikita Koloff to retain the WCW World Heavyweight Title, JCP September Supercard. 93. Flair's best match of the year came against the Russian defector.

7) Curt Hennig d. Larry Zybsko, AWA Supercard, March. 97. These two ran a series of great matches until Hennig signed exclusively with JCP in July.

6) Hulk Hogan d Randy Savage to retain the WWF World Heavyweight title, October Supercard. 99. The second match between these two after the double turn over the summer. I imagine Hogan retained via Jimmy Hart distraction.

5) Tatsumi Fujinami d. Akira Maeda, IWGP Tournament Block Action, August. 99. On his way to winning the IWGP, Fujinami fought a war against Maeda.

4) Akira Maeda & Nobuhiko Takada d. Takashi Iizuka & Yoshihiro Asai, Super Grade Tag League 87, November. 99. Some heavyweight vs lightweight action here in the annual tag tournament.

3) Jumbo Tsuruta d. Animal Hamaguchi to retain the NWA International Heavyweight title, AJPW Super Power Series, May. 99. A great year for Tsuruta as he held onto this title and the tag belts (w/ Genichiro Tenryu). Meanwhile, Hamaguchi would jump to New Japan in December and win their top title in only his second appearance.

2) Akira Maeda & Nobuhiko Takada d. Mr. Pogo & Bad News Brown, NJPW Wrestling Dontaku, May. 99. Guess they won Team of the Year for a reason! Despite their good performances, Maeda/Takada failed to win any gold.

1) Randy Savage d. Ricky Steamboat to retain the WWF Intercontinental championship, Wrestlemania III. 100. Come on.

NEXT: The Road to Wrestlemania IV.

joshspicer · December 17, 2019

Heh. Cocaine County.

MainOffender · December 17, 2019

A few WWF notes from January and February, 1988:

The alignment changes continue! The Hart Foundation and Bob Orton Jr are now faces. Meanwhile, Roddy Piper and Davey Boy Smith are now heels. This means that the three biggest stars in wrestling -- Hogan, Macho, and Piper -- have all turned since the last Wrestlemania. Despite the turn, Hogan is still Figurehead and still a benefit to the company, so... we evil now.

The Fabulous Moolah retired, dropping the Women's Title to Velvet MacIntyre on the way out.

Andre the Giant won the Royal Rumble. I'm going to stick with history and not award guaranteed title shots until '93.

On the February super card, Andre the Giant defeated Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title, ending his two year reign.

PRIME TIME WRESTLING

March, Week 1, 1988.

As he enters, we go to a pre-recorded Hogan promo. He gloats about his successful defense against Ricky Steamboat. “The Hulkster also noticed that lil’ Macho Boy lost his belt last night! Better have Lizzie pick you up some supplements, brother!”

GRADE:
100

Hulk Hogan d. Brad Rheingans in a squash match.

GRADE:
80

Bobby Heenan hypes his clients – Harley Race, Paul Orndorff, Hercules, and new Intercontinental champion Andre the Giant. No one can stop The Family!

GRADE:
92

Hercules and Paul Orndorff d. The Killer Bees in a one-sided contest.

GRADE:
71

Roddy Piper and his bodyguards Demolition (“they remind me of my Hollywood friends”) arrive for an episode of Piper’s Pit, but the set is trashed when fun-loving cannibal Kamala crashes through.

GRADE:
100

Bret Hart d. Butch Reed when Reed walks out after a back-and-forth contest. Monsoon gets over how much better the long-reigning tag champs have been since dumping Jimmy Hart and fighting the right way. Heenan, of course, disagrees.

GRADE:
73

Backstage, Butch Reed and Slick say they’re sick of the overhyped Hart Foundation and are going to do something about it.

GRADE:
85

Nikolai Volkoff d. Outback Jack.

GRADE:
59

Backstage, Mean Gene catches up with a typically irate Macho Man. “Hulk Hogan fears the Madness, oh yeah! He better PRAY I’m not named #1 contender!”

GRADE:
93

Susan Sexton d. Itzuki Yamakazi in a match to remind the fans the women’s division exists.

GRADE:
56

Assuming he can get his set rebuilt in time, next week’s Piper’s Pit will feature Andre the Giant and the Junkyard Dog. JYD is still smarting from being the last man eliminated by Andre at this year’s Royal Rumble.

GRADE:
86

Ricky Steamboat and Jake Roberts d. Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine. Steamboat and Roberts have struggled against the Heenan Family of late and it appears they’ve formed an alliance.

GRADE:
85

OVERALL GRADE:
88

MainOffender · December 18, 2019

PRIME TIME WRESTLING

March, Week 2, 1988.

We go straight to the still-damaged set of Piper’s Pit where Junkyard Dog challenges Andre the Giant to a match at WrestleMania IV. Heenan claims Andre has bigger plans for WrestleMania than animal cruelty, but that JYD can expect a formal response after tonight’s main event – a non-title contest between JYD and Hulk Hogan.

GRADE:
100

The Wild Samoans d. The Killer Bees in an even bout.

GRADE:
63

We go to Mean Gene who has Harley Race backstage. Race says he’s sickened that a low class profession like “Barber” could rise to the station of King. He demands Brutus Beefcake face him at WrestleMania.

GRADE:
82

Butch Reed d. S.D. Jones in a squash. Throughout the match, Slick promises that they’ve got a surprise for the Hart Foundation next week.

GRADE:
70

Ricky Steamboat and Jake Roberts are backstage. “Dragons breathe fire and snakes shoot venom… what do weasels do?” They challenge any two members of The Heenan Family to a match at WrestleMania.

GRADE:
88

Bob Orton Jr d. Hector Guerrero.

GRADE:
77

Footage airs from Texas tour stops where Davey Boy Smith is seen crushing cowboys in arm wrestling matches. “The American cowboy is no match for a British Bulldog!” Seeing this, Bob Orton seethes and dares Smith to show up in person.

GRADE:
97

The Islanders d. The Rougeau Brothers. Yes, we’re booking both our stereotyped Samoan heel tag teams who for some reason aren’t aligned on the same night and neither has anything interesting to do.

GRADE:
63

Susan Sexton d. Noriyo Tateno.

GRADE:
57

Backstage, Roddy Piper and Demolition attempt to lure Kamala into a large crate with a side of beef tied to a stick. Piper claims he has a buyer lined up that will pay handsomely for Kamala. Before any human trafficking can take place, Rick Martel and Tito Santana, aka The Strike Force, intervene, fighting off Piper and Demolition.

GRADE:
76

Hulk Hogan d. The Junkyard Dog when Andre the Giant's plodding entrance distracted JYD.

GRADE:
85

Andre hits the ring and stomps JYD, much to the amusement of Hogan. But Hogan’s delight soon turns to terror as Andre strangles him! Grabbing a mic, Bobby Heenan declares that Andre wants a WrestleMania rematch so that he can become a double champ. As Hogan fades in the stranglehold, Jimmy Hart begs the Giant to stop. “He can’t give you a rematch, big man! He just can’t! We already agreed to face Savage!” It’s a lie – but it’s also a verbal contract according to wrestling law. Randy Savage flies down to ringside – only to be laid out by Andre as well. The Giant stands tall over three bodies as we go off the air.

GRADE:
100

OVERALL GRADE:
89

joshspicer · December 18, 2019

So what a four way match?

Nah, it's way too early for that.

Also, you had me rolling with Piper trying to get Kamala into a crate with some meat. That's prime 80's material.

MainOffender · December 18, 2019

So what a four way match?

Nah, it's way too early for that.

Also, you had me rolling with Piper trying to get Kamala into a crate with some meat. That's prime 80's material.

No four way, I promise. Trying to stay somewhat faithful to the era. Obviously, I wanted to run Savage/Hogan, but the AI booked Andre going over Savage literally the night before I took over, so I needed to keep the Giant in the picture.

BHK1978 · December 18, 2019

This has been fantastic thus far. I love how you are trying to fix the AI's screw ups. I sometimes look at the result from AI shows and scratch my head, it is like Vince Russo entered the industry a few years earlier than in our time.

MainOffender · December 18, 2019

This has been fantastic thus far. I love how you are trying to fix the AI's screw ups. I sometimes look at the result from AI shows and scratch my head, it is like Vince Russo entered the industry a few years earlier than in our time.

Thank you! I am about a year ahead right now and buddy that AI goes places. It's a lot of fun trying to produce a good show in four weeks after 11 months of absolute madness. It's made me throw up my hands at times. But then there are moments -- I'm thinking of two specific booking decisions that go down after WrestleMania IV -- that just work out perfectly.

MainOffender · December 18, 2019

PRIME TIME WRESTLING

March, Week 3, 1988.

Hulk Hogan opens the show by summoning Andre the Giant to the ring. “I know you want to be in the main event, brother, so the Hulkster has an idea. Be my corner man. Shake my hand and we can put all this bad blood behind us.” Andre seems skeptical. Before he can respond, Macho Man and Junkyard Dog hit the ring armed with steel chairs to get some revenge for last week. Hogan escapes but Andre absorbs a few shots before plopping to the outside.

GRADE:
100

The Junkyard Dog d. Jimmy Jack Funk. JYD is especially fired up after getting one over on Andre.

GRADE:
74

Highlights play from a recent episode of Superstars where Dino Bravo lost by count out to Koko B Ware after being distracted by his parrot. In studio, Dino and manager Frenchy Martin cut a promo complaining that Koko’s bird said terrible things to Dino in Quebecois.

GRADE:
86

The Heenan Family (Hercules and Paul Orndorff) d. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers in a very one-sided match.

GRADE:
75

Heenan announces that Hercules and Orndorff happily accept the challenge from Steamboat and Roberts. He wonders if Steamboat has any idea what kind of creep he’s teaming with. Steamboat and Roberts emerge from the back but are held back by officials.

GRADE:
93

“King Barber” Brutus Beefcake d. Greg Valentine by DQ. Harley Race spoils this back-and-forth match when he appears at ringside and brains Brutus with his own crown.

GRADE:
77

Bret Hart (with Jim Neidhart) d. Nikolai Volkoff with the Sharpshooter. A tough match for the Hitman. Gorilla speculates throughout what “surprise” Slick and Butch Reed might have for the tag champs.

GRADE:
82

A video of Davey Boy Smith lassoing a steer with one hand while drinking his afternoon tea with the other. “Any proper Englishman could roll out of bed and immediately best a cowboy.”

GRADE:
66

Doom (Butch Reed & Ron Simmons) squash the hell out of the Killer Bees.

GRADE:
61

Butch and Slick introduce Ron Simmons to the WWF audience. They call themselves Doom. The Hart Foundation should know their days as tag champs are numbered.

GRADE:
66

Hulk Hogan d. Outback Jack in a squash. Big boot. Leg drop.

GRADE:
79

Randy Savage again rushes the ring to get at Hulk Hogan, but is met by a team of officials. Hogan raises the World Title and cups a hand to his ear.

GRADE:
100

Roddy Piper & Demolition d. Kamala & Strike Force when Piper finishes off Rick Martel with a DDT after trapping him in a net. Throughout the match, Piper and his leather-clad minions repeatedly try to stuff Kamala into a crate.

GRADE:
81

OVERALL GRADE:
87

EBEZA · December 19, 2019

Wow, what a great, unique concept! Loving the Mania IV build so far!

MainOffender · December 19, 2019

<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="YzJdhry.jpg?1" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/YzJdhry.jpg?1" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><p> <span style="color:#4169E1;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><strong>PRIME TIME WRESTLING</strong></span></span></p><p> <strong>March, Week 4, 1988. </strong></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="47165" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Junkyard Dog opens the show with a pre-recorded promo, encouraging all his fans to order WrestleMania IV so they can see him beat the Giant for the Intercontinental title. </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 99</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Roddy Piper wins an easy warm up match against Brad Rheingans. </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 79</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> The Hart Foundation are backstage with Mean Gene. They’re fighting champions so they accept Doom’s challenge, even though there’s not enough tape for the Hitman to compile his usual scouting report. “I never read those,” says Anvil.</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 65</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Bob Orton squashes Kim Chee, reminding me to get rid of Kim Chee.</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 73</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> After weeks of taunting Orton, Davey Boy Smith shows up to brawl with the Cowboy. They exchange haymakers to a stalemate.</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 79</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> The Honky Tonk Man defeats Koko B Ware via roll-up after Dino Bravo comes to ringside to shout Quebecois at Koko’s confused parrot. </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 73</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> We cut to Demolition’s... ah… non-sexual dungeon… where they assist Roddy Piper in preparing a variety of traps to finally catch Kamala. </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 81</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> The Heenan Family (Hercules and Paul Orondorff) defeats the Killer Bees in a one-sided match.</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 71</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Bobby Heenan stays in the ring and brings out Andre and a satchel with a dollar sign on it. They call out Randy Savage. “Last week, for the first time in his life, that numbskull Hogan had a good idea…” The Brain says Andre is ready to accept Hogan’s offer to be his corner man, unless Savage can give them a better deal. Savage refuses to get into a bidding war for Andre’s services; he only needs Elizabeth and the Macho Maniacs in his corner. Hogan comes out, grinning and posing, to finally get his handshake from Andre. The Giant refuses and snatches the mic from a surprised Heenan. “I hate you both,” Andre says. “You win. Or you win. Not matter. I squash.” Andre bails with a deflated Heenan, leaving Hogan and Savage to stare each other down.</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 100</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> A slow-paced brawl between Jake Roberts and Harley Race ends in DQ when Hercules and Paul Orndorff jump Roberts. </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 95</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Ricky Steamboat and King Brutus rush the ring to save Roberts and fend off the Heenan Family. All heck has broken loose!</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 91</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>OVERALL GRADE:</strong></div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 93</div></div></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> The complete Wrestlemania IV card:</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="VClWwCP.png?1" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/VClWwCP.png?1" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="47165" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="text-align:center;"><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>FOR THE WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Hulk Hogan (w/ Jimmy Hart) © vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth)</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) © vs The Junkyard Dog</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>FOR THE WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> The Hart Foundation © vs Doom (w/ Slick)</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>A CLASH OF KINGS</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> “King Barber” Brutus Beefcake vs “King” Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan)</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>OF SERPENTS AND WEASELS</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> The Heenan Family (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>COWBOYS AND BULLDOGS</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> “Cowboy” Bob Orton vs “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>TO CATCH A PREDATOR</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Kamala vs "Rowdy" Roddy Piper</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>LE PERROQUET MALEFIQUE</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Dino Bravo vs Koko B Ware</div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>GRUDGE MATCH</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> Demolition (w/ Roddy Piper) vs Strike Force </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>PLUS!</strong></div></div><p></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> </div></div><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><em>Another pre-show Battle Royale! A women’s title match!</em></div></div></div><p></p><p> </p><p> Happy to do predictions if anyone's interested in that! I'll even offer a PRIZE for the most correct. The winner can choose any worker from the game world and I'll make sure something <em>interesting</em> happens to them. Maybe that means WWF, maybe something else. No idea. As with most things here, I'm wingin' it. Thanks again to everyone following along!</p></div></blockquote>

EBEZA · December 19, 2019

<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><strong>FOR THE WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP</strong></p><p>

Hulk Hogan (w/ Jimmy Hart) © vs <span style="text-decoration:underline;">“Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth)</span></p><p>

<em>I think your intention is to lead into Savage vs Andre for the title, which would require Savage to have the title...</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP</strong></p><p>

Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) © vs <span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Junkyard Dog</span></p><p>

<em>If I'm right above, it makes sense to take the IC Title off Andre, rather than tie up both titles in one feud again.</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>FOR THE WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES</strong></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Hart Foundation</span> © vs Doom (w/ Slick)</p><p>

<em>Sort of wanted to bet on Doom here, but I've predicted a couple of title changes already, so let's say The Hart Foundation retain.</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>A CLASH OF KINGS</strong></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">“King Barber” Brutus Beefcake</span> vs “King” Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan)</p><p>

<em>I really don't have a clue, except that Beefcake is (I think?) a fair bit younger than Race, so a better long-term prospect?</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>OF SERPENTS AND WEASELS</strong></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Heenan Family (w/ Bobby Heenan)</span> vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat</p><p>

<em>My predictions are very face-heavy so far, so throwing in a win for the more established heel team.</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>COWBOYS AND BULLDOGS</strong></p><p>

“Cowboy” Bob Orton vs <span style="text-decoration:underline;">“The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith</span></p><p>

<em>Another heel win for balance, and the younger man.</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>TO CATCH A PREDATOR</strong></p><p>

Kamala vs <span style="text-decoration:underline;">"Rowdy" Roddy Piper</span></p><p>

<em>More heel winning, the much bigger star, plus we really need a pay-off for this "capturing Kamala" stuff - Piper putting him to sleep is a good start!</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>LE PERROQUET MALEFIQUE</strong></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Dino Bravo</span> vs Koko B Ware</p><p>

<em>Just can't picture Koko winning at Mania...</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>GRUDGE MATCH</strong></p><p>

<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Demolition (w/ Roddy Piper)</span> vs Strike Force</p><p>

<em>It's Demolition! But even better because Piper!</em></p><p> </p><p>

<em>Another pre-show Battle Royale (maybe </em><em><span style="text-decoration:underline;">one of your Samoans</span></em><em> could win?)! A women’s title match (no idea; I'd toss a coin, but I doubt it'd care either... </em><em><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Champion retains</span></em><em>.)!</em></p></div><p></p><p></p>

MainOffender · December 19, 2019

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="EBEZA" data-cite="EBEZA" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="47165" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><p> <strong>PLUS!</strong></p><p> <em>Another pre-show Battle Royale (maybe </em><em><span style="text-decoration:underline;">one of your Samoans</span></em><em> could win?)! A women’s title match (no idea; I'd toss a coin, but I doubt it'd care either... </em><em><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Champion retains</span></em><em>.)!</em>[/center]</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Haha -- thanks for the commentary! I should probably mention that I booked this WrestleMania before I decided to turn this into a diary and I'm pretty sure I didn't even pick the winner of the battle royal. It's completely left field and he hasn't appeared on a single Prime Time Wrestling. I WISH it was a Samoan.</p>

BHK1978 · December 19, 2019

<p>FOR THE WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP</p><p>

Hulk Hogan (w/ Jimmy Hart) © vs<strong> “Macho Man” Randy Savage</strong> (w/ Elizabeth)</p><p> </p><p>

FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP</p><p>

Andre the Giant(w/ Bobby Heenan) © vs <strong>The Junkyard Dog</strong></p><p> </p><p>

It is so weird that Andre is the IC Champion.<img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> It is even odd picking JYD to go over but <strong>EBEZA</strong> made a reasonable point so I shall follow their lead.</p><p> </p><p>

FOR THE WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES</p><p>

The Hart Foundation © vs <strong>Doom</strong> (w/ Slick)</p><p> </p><p>

A CLASH OF KINGS</p><p>

<strong>“King Barber” Brutus Beefcake </strong>vs “King” Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan)</p><p> </p><p>

As a kid I was a hug Brutus Beefcake fan. As I got older I realized how much he sucked, but I am going with the man of a thousand nicknames to pick up the win here because once again EBEZA brought up a valid point and it was along the lines of what I was thinking as well.</p><p> </p><p>

OF SERPENTS AND WEASELS</p><p>

The Heenan Family (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs <strong>Jake “The Snake” Roberts & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat</strong></p><p> </p><p>

I can't go against a team with Jake and Ricky.</p><p> </p><p>

COWBOYS AND BULLDOGS</p><p>

“Cowboy” Bob Orton vs <strong>“The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>

TO CATCH A PREDATOR</p><p>

Kamala vs <strong>"Rowdy" Roddy Piper</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Got to go with Hot Rod</p><p> </p><p>

LE PERROQUET MALEFIQUE</p><p>

<strong>Dino Bravo</strong> vs Koko B Ware</p><p> </p><p>

I was a fan of Dino as a kid. I hated Frenchy Martin for some reason but I always found Dino cool.</p><p> </p><p>

GRUDGE MATCH</p><p>

<strong>Demolition</strong> (w/ Roddy Piper) vs Strike Force</p>

EBEZA · December 19, 2019

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="BHK1978" data-cite="BHK1978" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="47165" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I copied EBEZA's homework.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> <img alt=";)" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/wink.png.686f06e511ee1fbf6bdc7d82f6831e53.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p>

joshbrady91 · December 19, 2019

<p>FOR THE WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP</p><p>

FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP</p><p>

FOR THE WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES</p><p>

A CLASH OF KINGS</p><p>

“King Barber” Brutus Beefcake vs <strong>“King” Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan)</strong></p><p>

OF SERPENTS AND WEASELS</p><p>

The Heenan Family (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs <strong>Jake “The Snake” Roberts & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat</strong></p><p>

COWBOYS AND BULLDOGS</p><p>

“Cowboy” Bob Orton vs <strong>“The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith</strong></p><p>

TO CATCH A PREDATOR</p><p>

Kamala vs <strong>"Rowdy" Roddy Piper</strong></p><p>

LE PERROQUET MALEFIQUE</p><p>

<strong>Dino Bravo</strong> vs Koko B Ware</p><p>

GRUDGE MATCH</p><p>

<strong>Demolition (w/ Roddy Piper)</strong> vs Strike Force</p>

smw88 · December 19, 2019

<p>FOR THE WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP</p><p>

FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP</p><p>

FOR THE WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES</p><p>

A CLASH OF KINGS</p><p>

“King Barber” <strong>Brutus Beefcake</strong> vs “King” Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan)</p><p> </p><p>

OF SERPENTS AND WEASELS</p><p>

The Heenan Family (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs <strong>Jake “The Snake” Roberts & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat</strong></p><p><strong>

</strong></p><p>

COWBOYS AND BULLDOGS</p><p>

“Cowboy” Bob Orton vs “The British Bulldog” <strong>Davey Boy Smith</strong></p><p> </p><p>

TO CATCH A PREDATOR</p><p>

Kamala vs "<strong>Rowdy" Roddy Piper</strong></p><p> </p><p>

LE PERROQUET MALEFIQUE</p><p>

Dino Bravo vs <strong>Koko B Ware</strong></p><p> </p><p>

GRUDGE MATCH</p><p>

<strong>Demolition</strong> (w/ Roddy Piper) vs Strike Force</p><p> </p><p>

PLUS!</p><p>

Another pre-show Battle Royale! A women’s title match!</p>

MainOffender · December 20, 2019

WE! ARE! LIVE! From… from Yankee Stadium? Isn’t it cold? Doesn’t anyone ever check the Venue tab? Jesus. A sold out crowd of 55,000! Nearly 100,000 less than last year. Sorry, Vince!

In a match for an empty stadium, newly-signed Tina Ferrari upsets Velvet MacIntyre to capture the Women’s Championship. Maybe this division will get better next year! (It won’t.)

GRADE:
53

In a pre-show match, Hillbilly Jim wins a 20 man Battle Royale because… I don’t know? To rile up the New Yorkers? These Wall Street bankers hate men in overalls.

GRADE:
61

The PPV officially begins with video of “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Elizabeth arriving at the arena earlier in the day. For once, Savage has nothing to say. He’s entirely focused on tonight’s main event.

GRADE:
100

In our opening match, Demolition defeats Strike Force after a Decapitation on Rick Martel. Roddy Piper’s presence proves to be a constant distraction as he plants various suspicious packages around the ringside area.

GRADE:
71

Davey Boy Smith defeats Bob Orton with a running powerslam. Orton comes out hot but ultimately couldn't match the power of The British Bulldog.

GRADE:
80

Roddy Piper defeats Kamala by count out. Less a match than an attempt at live action Looney Toons. Piper deploys various traps from around ringside – a snare, a net, a bamboo chute dart blower – avoiding disqualification only because Kamala proves so consistently elusive. However, with the ref distracted, Demolition, who have been hiding under the ring since their earlier victory, snag Kamala’s feet in some fur-lined shackles and prevent him from answering the count.

GRADE:
81 (think this was the first time I ever used ‘comedy match’ in TEW)

Following the match, Piper and Demolition succeed in stuffing Kamala into a crate. However, Strike Force makes the save, gaining revenge for their earlier defeat. In the end, it’s Piper trapped in the box, being sent to parts unknown by Kamala.

GRADE:
74

Jake Roberts & Ricky Steamboat defeat The Heenan Family in a hard fought match after a Roberts DDT on Orndorff. Steamboat and Roberts make an excellent team with Steamboat able to absorb all the punishment and Roberts playing mind games with his snake-bag to level the playing field against Heenan’s usual tricks.

GRADE:
87

Continuing a rough night for the Heenan Family, “King Barber” Brutus Beefcake manages to pin Harley Race after a botched swing of Race's scepter.

GRADE:
84

In a post-match temper tantrum, Harley Race shreds and smashes his King costume and props. “Aw, I bought you those!” shouts Heenan.

GRADE:
83

Doom defeats the Hart Foundation to win the WWF World Tag Team titles. The match plays out In typical Hart Foundation fashion: Hart gets worked over by Doom for most of the match, only to make a hot tag to Neidhart. Except, this time, Neidhart’s power proves unable to overcome the strength of Simmons and Reed. Neidhart gets punked with a Dominator and the year+ reign of the Hart Foundation ends.

GRADE:
85

Andre the Giant defeats The Junkyard Dog to retain the Intercontinental title. JYD does his best to match Andre, but eventually gets sat upon.

GRADE:
76

As Andre exits, Hulk Hogan appears at the top of the ramp. He gives Andre one last check to shake his hand, but the Giant refuses.

GRADE:
100

Koko B Ware defeats Dino Bravo in a match where everyone goes to get beer. After the match, Koko’s parrot lands on Dino’s shoulder like he’s Snow White or something and makes peace.

GRADE:
62

“Macho Man” Randy Savage overcomes Hulk Hogan to begin his first reign as WWF World Heavyweight Champion. It’s a slow-paced spectacle with Hogan playing the monster and the crowd going apoplectic with every Savage kick out. Oh how those flashbulbs pop when Savage comes off the top with the elbow drop.

GRADE:
99

OVERALL GRADE:
100

PREDICTIONS:

smw88 -- 7/9

BHK1978 -- 7/9

joshbrady91 -- 6/9

EBEZA -- 6/9

Winners! Hit me up with who you'd like to see get an opportunity to shine in this cold wrestling world.

WRESTLEMANIA IV AFTERMATH:

Hogan was not happy about jobbing to Savage. He'll literally still be bitching about it at WrestleMania V.

The AI does a brilliant thing and books Andre vs Savage at the April supercard. (Savage retains.)

The AI does an even MORE brilliant thing and turns Dino Bravo face then slaps him into a tag-team with Koko B Ware. The AI calls them Team Roar because computers can't understand birds. I rename them The Flamingos.

NEXT: 1988 in review!

joshspicer · December 20, 2019

I like how Koko's bird is intelligent enough to forgive Dino.

Also, good job TEW AI, who knew you had it in you?

And I think you mean Piper's on his way to Timbuktu.

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