HUSTLE 'n' PIMP: Pro Wrestling C-Verse

TOOL · February 5, 2009

Crazy Midget Clown Klan Morning Radio Show

Joker the Pimp & Hustler D

Week 1, December 2008

Joker the Pimp: And we're back...

Hustler D: Thank God we went to a commercial break, Joker, I almost shat myself. (fart noise blasts from the soundboard) Whew! You won't wanna visit the ****ter any time soon.

Joker the Pimp: Good thing I passed on that Chili Dog this morning.

Hustler D: Don't lie, you ate that mother ****er.

Joker the Pimp: **** ya I did! (the soundboard's fart noise blasts once again)

Hustler D/Joker the Pimp: AHAHAHA

Joker the Pimp: 'Nuff of this bull****, D. You know we gotta make a very special announcement.

Hustler D: Fo' Sure. Let em' have it, Joker.

Joker the Pimp: The Crazy Midget Clown Klan are very proud to announce (Hustler D hits the fart noise on the soundboard) Yo! Shut the **** up! I'm tryin' to be serious...

Hustler D: Hahaha...sorry I couldn't resist. (Fart noise)

Joker the Pimp: ****in' unreal. Anyways, we're very proud to announce the opening of "HUSTLE 'n' PIMP: Pro Wrestling".

Hustler D: That's right mother ****ers!!

Joker the Pimp: Starting next month, January 2009, we're running monthly wrestling shows.

Hustler D: And not just any wrestling shows, we got crazy mother ****ers from all over the world who are just as ****ed up as us!

Joker the Pimp: It ain't gonna be no SWF or TCW bull****. HUSTLE 'n' PIMP: Pro Wrestling is gonna be the most insane wrestling promotion in the entire world. You ain't gonna be able to see this type of insane **** anywhere else, we promise you that!

Hustler D: HUSTLE 'n' PIMP!! WOOOOT!!! (fart noise)

Joker the Pimp smacks Hustler D across the back of his head.

Joker the Pimp: Told you to shut the **** up with that fart sound, bitch!

Hustler D: (rubbing the back of his head) Sorry bro, I got a lil' too excited.

Joker the Pimp: Ya'all check out hustlenpimp.com for more information. We're gonna put up our roster when we finish signing all of dem dotted lines.

Hustler D: Peace!!

TOOL · February 5, 2009

hustlenpimp.com - The Roster and Champions

Week 2, December 2008

Roster

Inky the Squid Boy

Half man, Half Squid. Inky isn't afraid of taking high risks to **** you up. Watch out for the Black Myst!

Booger Man

Coming all the way from Japan, Booger Man is a large dude with a bad attitude. He doesn't have a problem with picking his nose and flicking it right in yo face.

The NEW Dirty White Boys

Grease Hogg, Lead Belly, Dirty Frank & Brains McGhee

The Dirty White Boys added some new meat to their crew, Dirty Frank, now they're dirtier than ever!

The Chaos Demons

Chaos Demon #1 & 2

The most insane tag team in Japan, the Chaos Demons are looking forward to ****ing up America worse than Godzilla.

Crazy Miguel

The Crazy Mexican from Tijuana, you never know what you're going to get with Crazy Miguel.

Dermot O'Logical

Having perfect skin is a tough job just ask Dermot O'Logical. He spends hours upon hours on skin care.

General Hospital

El Medico & Nurse Darla Knight

Feeling sick? El Medico and Nurse Darla Knight has got just what'll make you feel better...a square punch to the face.

"The Tennessee Outlaw" Blackjack Robbins

This cowboy doesn't have any guns or ride any horses but if you piss him off while he's trying to enjoy a beer he'll probably rip your head off.

"The Slick Pimp Daddy" Ernie Turner

Bitch, where's my money?! There's only two things on Ernie Turner's mind: his money and his bitches.

EVIL Spirit

Another twisted Japanese wrestler who has no problem with making his opponent bleed.

Madman Boone

Madman Boone has some balls. He's willing to do anything it takes to hurt his opponent even if it means hurting himself. That devil-may-care attitude won him the TCW International Championship.

Trauma

He hurts people....he hurts a lot of people....he will probably hurt you too...

The Rock City Stars

Stan "The Man" Manna & Rockin' Ryan Turner

It's time to rock n' roll with the Rock City Stars. These two rock sex Gods are not only looking forward to dominating the tag team division but they are also looking to rock our socks off!

Gargantuan Problem

Gargantuan & The Big Problem

Two of the biggest men on earth have joined forces to create an unstoppable force. Can any stop this Gargantuan Problem?

The Nation of Filth

Grunt & Stink

The Nation of Filth may not know many wrestling moves but they do know how to bash their opponents heads in with a garbage can.

K-Squared

A young high flying Canadian who's filled with tons of potential. Why K-Squared is stuck in a roster full of misfits and rejects...nobody knows...

Stretch the Chicken Boy

Stretch loves chickens...and when I say he loves them, he REALLY loves them. Just don't call him "Chicken ****er".

Valentine

Valentine uses his over-the-top feminin behavior to get inside of opponents mind. Pushes the envelop on his sexuality just so that he can pick up a win.

Champions

Platinum ICE Championship

Vacant

2009 Carnage Cup

Tournament held in March 2009

Tag Team Championships

Vacant

[/center]

TOOL · February 5, 2009

<img src="

http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/pimptasticvoyage.jpg">

HUSTLE 'n' PIMP: Pro Wrestling presents...

The Pimptastic Voyage

live at the Weston Gymnasium

8-Man Tournament for the Platinum ICE Championship

"The Tennessee Outlaw" Blackjack Robbins vs "The Slick Pimp Daddy" Ernie Turner

EVIL Spirit vs Madman Boone

Dirty Frank w/Brains McGhee vs K-Squared

Dermot O'Logical vs Inky the Squid Boy

No Holds Barred Tag Team Deathmatch

The Chaos Demons vs The Nation of Filth

4-Way International Showdown

Mexico vs Japan vs Canada vs USA

Crazy Miguel vs Booger Man vs Valentine vs "The Soul Man" Elijah Harris

All Chairs are Legal

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Trauma

also the remaining Platinum ICE Championship Tournament matches

Easy Prediction Key:
Blackjack Robbins vs Ernie Turner

EVIL Spirit vs Madman Boone

Dirty Frank vs K-Squared

Dermot O'Logical vs Inky the Squid Boy

The Chaos Demons vs The Nation of Filth

Crazy Miguel vs Booger Man vs Valentine vs Elijah Harris

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Trauma

foolinc · February 5, 2009

Looks like this is going to be some wrestlecrap fun.

Blackjack Robbins vs Ernie Turner

EVIL Spirit vs Madman Boone

Dirty Frank vs K-Squared

Dermot O'Logical vs Inky the Squid Boy

The Chaos Demons vs The Nation of Filth

Crazy Miguel vs Booger Man vs Valentine vs Elijah Harris

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Trauma

Nedew · February 5, 2009

Oh, I have a feeling i'm going to rather enjoy this

Comradebot · February 5, 2009

Woot, Blackjack Robbins!

Push him to the moon... you know, if he doesn't retire first.

Hyde Hill · February 5, 2009

Blackjack Robbins vs Ernie Turner

EVIL Spirit vs Madman Boone

Dirty Frank vs K-Squared

Dermot O'Logical vs Inky the Squid Boy

The Chaos Demons vs The Nation of Filth

Crazy Miguel vs Booger Man vs Valentine vs Elijah Harris

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Trauma

Tigerkinney · February 5, 2009

This looks promising. Think this is the first time someone has dared to use the Crazy Midget's in a diary, yet alone build a whole company round them ?

What's the product. I'm guessing from the roster and general feel that the key/high features are Cult, Hardcore, Comedy and possibly Daredevil.

Blackjack Robbins vs Ernie Turner

Ernie's got a bit more of a future, well what's left of a future.

EVIL Spirit vs Madman Boone

Should be a straight forward squash for the former TCW Hardcore champ.

Dirty Frank vs K-Squared

Well Frank's a part of the DWB now , and I'm guessing they'll be pushed pretyy strong.

Dermot O'Logical vs Inky the Squid Boy

Inky ruins Dermot's complexion with the mist !!

The Chaos Demons vs The Nation of Filth

Garbage brawl !! Both teams are about as talent free as each other, but the NOF are more over in America.

Crazy Miguel vs Booger Man vs Valentine vs Elijah Harris

Out of this lot, I'd give the Soul man the victory.

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Trauma

Trauma's awful, but I love the fact you've given him a job. I totally buy into this fed, being the only sort of fed that would pick him up. Then again the same case could be made for Stretch.

mad5226 · February 6, 2009

Im so excited I love the midgets

juggaloninjalee · February 6, 2009

This sounds like it could be the Cornellverse spinoff of what JCW is in real life. Im in!

TOOL · February 6, 2009

Looks like this is going to be some wrestlecrap fun.

You know it!

What's the product. I'm guessing from the roster and general feel that the key/high features are Cult, Hardcore, Comedy and possibly Daredevil.

Yep that's pretty much it. Key Feature: Cult, Heavy: Hardcore & Daredevil, Medium: Comedy, Very Low: Modern

Woot, Blackjack Robbins!

Push him to the moon... you know, if he doesn't retire first.

As long as the Crazy Midget Clowns keep The Tennessee Outlaw happy with tons of gin and cheap beer he aint gonna retire. But having a Champ who retires the day after might be something to keep in consideration...

This sounds like it could be the Cornellverse spinoff of what JCW is in real life. Im in!

I am using Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope as inspiration when writing dialogue for the Crazy Midget Clowns so it's only natural if HUSTLE n PIMP comes off as a JCW spinoff.

Still testing out a few writing styles for shows before I post "The Pimptastic Voyage". Should be out soon though.

Thanks everyone for the replies! Hope you enjoy reading.

TOOL · February 6, 2009

(You pop in a DVD into your player. It spins and quickly sends the information to your television. You sit back and enjoy 2 hours of the worst of the worst...)

HUSTLE 'n' PIMP: Pro Wrestling presents...

The Pimptastic Voyage

live at the Weston Gymnasium infront of 44 people

*Dark Match*

The Dirty White Boys w/Brains McGhee defeated The Rock City Stars in a very slow paced tag team match.

Winners: The Dirty White Boys(7:45 E+) Grease Hogg pinned Rockin' Ryan Turner with the Grease Spot.

Main Show:

We're greeted by Joker the Pimp & Hustler D on commentary who rip on the dopey ring announcer for trying to start a "HUSTLE 'n' PIMP" chant which never caught on.

Joker the Pimp: Hustlers and Pimps welcome to the debut edition of "HUSTLE 'n' PIMP: Pro Wrestling"! I'm Joker the Pimp and I'm joined by the greatest motha ****in' broadcast partn-ah, Hustler D!

Hustler D: Wooot! Ya! Ya! We got tons of insane **** lined up for you tonight, including a 1 night motha ****in' tournament for the Platinum ICE Championship.

Joker the Pimp: That just made my nipples hard.

Hustler D: Alright. Lets join our 34 year old virgin Ring Announcer as he introduces the first ****in' match.

Joker the Pimp: ...he's half retard, fyi...

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/BlackjackRobbins.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/ErnieTurner.jpg">
Round 1 of the Platinum ICE Championship Tournament
"The Tennessee Outlaw" Blackjack Robbins vs "The Slick Daddy Pimp" Ernie Turner
Review: Two former Southern Championship Class Wrestling Tag Team Champions collide. Blackjack Robbins didn't look too bad considering he's in his mid-40's now. After some very slow paced wrestling, filled with punches and clotheslines, Blackjack Robbins wins with a Leaping Side Suplex.
Winner and Advancing in the Tourney: Blackjack Robbins(7:32 E-)

Joker the Pimp: Ernie Turner didn't look too slick tonight, D!

Hustler D: Ho! Ho! Blackjack Robbins made quick work out of Ernie Turner and now he's off to get the Early Bird Special at Denny's.

Joker the Pimp: Seniors eat for $4.99, ya know...

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/EvilSpirit.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/MadmanBoone.jpg">
Round 1 of the Platinum ICE Championship Tournament
EVIL Spirit vs Madman Boone
Review: EVIL Spirit is a small, unexciting Japanese wrestler who does some hardcore wrestling while Madman Boone is a big burly American hardcore wrestler who only does Deathmatches, certainly a miss-match.

After tons of brawling, in and out of the ring, Boone wins with the Boone and Bust.
Winner and Advancing in the Tourney: Madman Boone(7:45 E)

Hustler D: And Madman Boone beats his Japanese ass like he was in World War II.

Joker the Pimp: Madman Boone vs Blackjack Robins in the semi-finals of tonights tournament.

Hustler D: The real question is will the viagra wear off before Blackjack Robbins can wrestle another match?

Joker the Pimp: ....for Madman Boone's sake, I certainly ****in' hope so.

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/DirtyFrank.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/K-Squared.jpg">
Round 1 of the Platinum ICE Championship Tournament
Dirty Frank w/Brains McGhee vs K-Squared
Review: K-Squared is a decent wrestler who is lost in the land of misfits. Dirty Frank lives up to his name by wrestling dirty, taking every shortcut in the book.

After what seemed like hours of stomping and choking, Brains McGhee tries to interfere and accidentally kicks Dirty Frank in the shins. K-Squared quickly rolls up Frank in a Small Package for a fluke win.
Winner and Advancing in the Tournament: K-Squared(9:34 F+)

Joker the Pimp: K-Squared pulls a motha ****in' upset and advances in the tournament!

Hustler D: If it wasn't for that stupid ****in' ass midget, Dirty Frank would've won! I hate ****in' midgets!!

Joker the Pimp: (clears throat) Ummm...I think we should move on...

Hustler D: What?! I hate them! They're so ****in' small and talk all ****ed up. They should all be killed or raped or something that'll **** em' up...

Joker the Pimp: (whispers under his breathe)...idiot...

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/InkyTheSquid.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/DermotOLogical.jpg">
Round 1 of the Platinum ICE Championship Tournament
Inky the Squid vs Dermot O'Logical
Review: Dermot is obsessed with skin care, coming to the ring with two huge slices of cucumbers placed on his eyes and a refining mask covering his entire face.

Throughout the entire match, Inky tries to splatter Dermot with his Black Myst. O'Logical manages to avoid all of Inky's attempts untill the Squid accidentally squirts the referee.

Dermot takes advantage of a blind referee by Low Blowing Inky and hitting the Deep Clean to seal his victory.
Winner and Advancing in the Tourney: Dermot O'Logical(8:10 E)

Joker the Pimp: Inky ****s himself over by squirting all over the referee's face and allowing Dermot O'Logical to steal the win.

Hustler D: The last time some bitch squirted all over my face I smacked that ho!

Joker the Pimp: Shut the **** up! Ain't no bitch want to squirt all over you!

Hustler D: Yo! Why do you always have to make me look stupid?

Joker the Pimp: We're calling a ****in' wrestling show not a porno starring your mom!

Hustler D: **** You! My moms a great woman...

Joker the Pimp: I know, you don't have to tell me, I had her last night!!

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/ChaosDemon1.jpg"><img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/ChaosDemon2.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/Grunt.jpg"><img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/Stink.jpg">
No Holds Barred Tag Team Deathmatch
The Chaos Demons vs The Nation of Filth
Review: Both tag teams specialize in Garbage wrestling so I'm expecting to see tons of blood and gore!

As expected the match immediately starts with a huge brawl. The fight spills outside of the ring where both teams use whatever they can get their hands on as weapons.

Chaos Demon #2 clears one of the merchandise tables and covers it with Thumb Tacks. The Japanese hardcore star Powerbombs Stink through the table, leaving dozens of tacks attached to his back.

Back in the ring, a very bloody Grunt manages to hit the Dump Truck on Chaos Demon #1 through a Log Cabin of Lighttubes.
Winners: The Nation of Filth(8:23 E+)

Hustler D: ...and the Nation of Filth pick up the win. Not much of a wrestling match, Joker, more like a cluster**** but a good one at that!

Joker the Pimp: These motha ****as are covered in sweat and blood but they're celebrating like they won the Superbowl. World class superstars, D-what's this?!...

Hustler D: Looks like Gargantuan Problem are running out and into the ring....

Gargantuan and The Big Problem attack Stink and Grunt from behind. They knock them over with stiff forearm shots across the back.

Gargantuan Powerbombs Grunt through a table on the outside while The Big Problem lays Stink out with a modified Jackhammer.

Rating: D+

Joker the Pimp: Looks like this will lead to an eventual Gargantuan Problem vs Nation of Filth feud which will be more brutal than anything ever imagined.

Hustler D: Brutal as in we'll have to sit through it and call the match.

Joker the Pimp: Exacto-mundo!

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/BlackjackRobbins.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/MadmanBoone.jpg">
Semi-Finals of the Platinum ICE Tournament
"The Tennessee Outlaw" Blackjack Robbins vs Madman Boone
Review: Holy Jebus! Blackjack Robbins is out wrestling ANOTHER match! He's certainly got his working boots on tonight.

Tons of brawling...which means A LOT of punching and kicking. Robbins lays Boone out with a Leaping Side Suplex but the Madman manages to kickout.

After ducking a Lariat attempt by Blackjack, Madman Boone nails the Boone and Bust and picks up a 3 count.
Winner and Advancing in the Tourney: Madman Boone(8:12 E+)

Joker the Pimp: Blackjack Robbins does not look good, D!

Hustler D: He's coughin' up a lung. Well you gotta give him props for wrestling two matches in one night, wouldn't think the Retirement Home would let him out this late.

Joker the Pimp: Madman Boone advances into the finals!

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/K-Squared.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/DermotOLogical.jpg">
Semi-Finals of the Platinum ICE Tournament
K-Squared vs Dermot O'Logical
Review: K-Squared grabs ahold of a very tight headlock and makes sure to O'Logical's face with his bare hands. Dermot freaks out and dives for a pack of Oxypads.

Dermot rolls through on a High Crossbody Block then pins K-Squared using his tights. K-Squared tries his hardest to kick out but it's no use. Dermot O'Logical steals another win.
Winner and Advancing in the Tourney: Dermot O'Logical(7:46 E-)

Hustler D: That sonovabitch pulled his tights, Joker!

Joker the Pimp: He did indeed but there's a lot more than pride on the line tonight, D, these men are fighting for the Platinum ICE Championship along with a $30 paycheck.

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/CrazyMiguel.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/Valentine.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/BoogerMan.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/ElijahHarris.jpg">
4-Way International Warfare
Crazy Miguel vs Valentine vs Booger Man vs "Soul Man" Elijah Harris
Review: Each wrestler is representing their own country in a 1 fall 4-Way match. It looks like the match will be wrestled under a tag format, only 2 men allowed in the ring at the same good. Good thinkin' as it will keep things less messy.

Crazy Miguel gets crazy and tries to do a bunch of high risk moves with Booger Man which they end up botching...every last one. Luckily, Miguel gets dumped to the outside, Booger Man picks his nose and dives ontop of Crazy Miguel with his finger stretched out.

Valentine freaks Elijah Harris out by squeezing his ass and trying to grab his crotch. Valentine applies a Bearhug to Elijah, which he quickly breaks free from with a flurry of elbow strikes.

Harris nails Valentine with the Soul Train and pins him. Miguel and Booger Man were too busy fighting on the outside to even notice.
Winner: Elijah Harris(7:36 F)

Hustler D: Wooot!! America wins!! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Joker the Pimp: Like anybody else would win. We're in America, foo'!

Hustler D jumps ontop of the announcers table and starts screaming "U.S.A.!" at the top of his lungs.

Joker the Pimp: While I try to calm D down, why don't we head backstage...

We find ourselves in a very small office, there's a sign on the desk that reads, "Commissioner". A big burly man is sitting with his back facing us, his shoulders are so wide that the chair can barely contain his large frame.

The unknown HUSTLE 'n' PIMP Commissioner introduces himself as the "Higher Power" and announces two matches for February's event.

The first match will be an Intergender Tag Team match featuring The Rock City Stars(Rockin' Ryan Turner & Stan "The Man" Manna) vs General Hospital(El Medico & Nurse Darla Knight)

The second match will be a Fans Bring the Weapons match(hopefully there'll be fans at the next show to bring any weapons) featuring The Nation of Filth(Grunt & Stink) vs Gargantuan Problem(Gargantuan & The Big Problem)

We never got to see the "Higher Power's" identity.

Rating: C-

Joker the Pimp: Very mysterious, huh, D?

Hustler D: You know I was married to my last wife for 2 years before she let me see her face too...then I found out she was a man...

Joker the Pimp: Looks like some things never change...

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/Trauma.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/StretchTheChickenBoy.jpg"
All Chairs are Legal
Trauma vs Stretch the Chicken Boy
Review: Stretch is accompanied to the ring by a Rubber Chicken who he talks to for advice. Well as long as he's just asking his chicken for advice and doesn't choke it infront of us.

Both men are handed chairs before the match so that everything's fair. Stretch doesn't seem to understand the rules and decides to use the chair to sit on instead of a weapon. Trauma slams his chair across Stretch's head while he's sitting down.

Trauma beats the Chicken Boy into a bloody pulp, tossing him into a row of empty chairs then tossing it at him.

Stretch tries to fight back but Trauma quickly cuts off his momentum and DDT's him ontop of an open chair. He covers him for a 3 count.

Well that was certainly a match filled with Chairs. The only wrestling move we saw the entire match was the DDT.
Winner: Trauma(7:37 F-)

Joker the Pimp: Trauma beat down Stretch the Chicken Boy like he owes him money!

Hustler D:...wow that was absolutely terrible!

Joker the Pimp: That pretty much sums this entire night, D!

<img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/MadmanBoone.jpg"> vs <img src="http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee48/realpw/hnp/DermotOLogical.jpg">
Finals of the Platinum ICE Championship Tournament
Madman Boone vs Dermot O'Logical
Review: Madman Boone and Dermot O'Logical work well with each other. They start of the match by trying the wrestle...WOW...what a crazy concept.

The match quickly spills to the outside of the ring, Boone tries to ram Dermot head first into the steal steps, O'Logical blocks it and slams Madman's head into the steps instead. The former TCW Superstar is bleeding from his scarred forehead.

Dermot controls most of the match, keeping Boone grounded with various Suplexs and Submissions.

Madman Boone fights back, nailing a few punches across Dermot's mid-section. Boone punches O'Logical across his face, knocking him to the ground. Whooops that looks like it's gonna bruise later, Dermot wont be very happy.

The aggressive Madman calls for the Boone or Bust, Dermot O'Logical sprays Madman Boone's eyes with some Skin Rejuvenation spray, blinding him. A blinded Boone falls right into the Deep Clean. He covers him, 1...2...3.

Best match of the entire show. Dermot O'Logical is the first ever Platinum ICE Champion.
Winner and PLATINUM ICE Champion: Dermot O'Logical(14:31 D-)

Joker the Pimp and Hustler D congratulate Dermot on winning the tournament and present him with the Platinum ICE Championship.

Joker the Pimp: Congratulations on winning the Platinum ICE Championship! What are you going to do next?

Dermot O'Logical: I am going to "Belle Salon" and getting a facial! After wrestling 3 matches with these dirty barbarians, I need to have my face professionally cleaned.

Hustler D: Yo I wouldn't get a facial too soon. The Higher Power just told me a few seconds ago that you're gonna defend the Platinum ICE title next month against Madman Boone in a "FIRST BLOOD" Match!

Dermot O'Logical flips out. He starts yelling out, "What about my face?!?", terrified that Madman Boone might cut open his most precious prize.

The Platinum ICE Champion leaves the ring, upset and angry about being forced to put his face in such danger. The Crazy Midget Clown Klan thanks everyone for coming out and announces next months event.

Rating: E+

FINAL RATING: E+

mad5226 · February 6, 2009

Love the first show man. Especially the back and forth on commentary

Tigerkinney · February 7, 2009

That first show had me in stitches. My favourite bit was when Hustler D (clearly the dumber of the two) went off on a rant against midgets !

Wrestlecrap at it's finest so far

markish · February 7, 2009

Really enjoying this so far.

I have, in the past, been very tempted to use the Clowns in a game for a diary, but have never had the guts. I highly reccomend you trawl the Alt pictures thread in the Mods section to find some 100% prime wrestlecrap.

TOOL · February 8, 2009

Crazy Midget Clown Klan Morning Radio Show

Joker the Pimp & Hustler D

Week 3, January 2009

Joker the Pimp: We're 2 weeks away from HUSTLE 'n' PIMP's next live event, "Valentines Day Massacre".

Hustler D: I'm pumped up, Joker! Valentines Day Massacre is gonna be off the hook!!

Joker the Pimp: Calm down, D. You don't want to make another mess in your pants.

Hustler D: **** too late.

Joker the Pimp: **** that was the third time today, D!

Hustler D: My trousers are starting to get all creamy and lemme tell ya...I'm startin' to enjoy it.

Joker the Pimp: ....on that note...let's take a call from a Crazy Klan member who wants to talk about HUSTLE 'n' PIMP...Yo! You're on the air...

Deep Scary Voice: Estoy viniendo matarte. Mi tiempo está viniendo y no entenderás. Soy tu pesadilla. Adiós

Joker the Pimp: What the ****?!?

Hustler D: Yo, Joker, I think I made another mess in my pants...

Joker the Pimp: ****! Somebody get this motha ****a a new pair of drawers!!

!i!GET READY FOR THE SECOND-COMING!i!

TOOL · February 8, 2009

HUSTLE 'n' PIMP: Pro Wrestling presents...

Valentines Day Massacre

First Blood Match

for the PLATINUM ICE Championship

Fans Bring Weapons Match

The Nation of Filth(Grunt & Stink) vs Gargantuan Problem(Gargantuan & The Big Problem)

Intergender Tag Team Match

The Rock City Stars(Rockin' Ryan Turner & Stan "The Man" Manna vs General Hospital(El Medico & Nurse Darla Knight)

Blackjack Robbins vs "The Soul Man" Elijah Harris

Trauma vs "The Slick Daddy Pimp" Ernie Turner

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank w/Brains McGhee

Man vs Animal vs Fruit

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs the debuting, Masked Orange

The Chaos Demons(Chaos Demon #1 & 2) vs The Dirty White Boys(Grease Hog & Lead Belly)

Easy Prediction Key:
Dermot O'Logical© vs Madman Boone

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys

TOOL · February 8, 2009

I have, in the past, been very tempted to use the Clowns in a game for a diary, but have never had the guts. I highly reccomend you trawl the Alt pictures thread in the Mods section to find some 100% prime wrestlecrap.

Thanks for directing me to the Alt pic thread. I've already found some great alt pics and ideas for new characters.

That first show had me in stitches. My favourite bit was when Hustler D (clearly the dumber of the two) went off on a rant against midgets !

Wrestlecrap at it's finest so far

Brains McGhee better not get in Hustler D's face. He hates those creepy midgets.

Love the first show man. Especially the back and forth on commentary

Thanks. Glad you're enjoying the diary. It's been really fun to write so far

angeldelayette · February 8, 2009

Dermot doesn't lose in his first title defense and his face is saved but not after the match!

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem

NoF get a measure of revenge.

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

Any team with a soap opera name cannot be good, right?

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Just a flip of the coin.

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

The Slick Pimp Daddy gets the victory.

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Another flip of the coin.

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Dirty Frank wins with the help of Brains.

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Probably a Masked Orange win here in his debut but I'm gonna take another wild stab in the dark.

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys

I enjoy the DWB's.

Tigerkinney · February 8, 2009

Dermot somehow manages to retain his title

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem

Can Fan's bring weapons to knock both of these teams out, due to how awful their 'wrestling' is ? If I have to a pick a winner out of these lot, I'd give the Nation the edge, due to having more experience (at being rubbish that is).

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

General Hospital win, in some really misogynstic manner that involves the RCS being distracted by a half naked Nurse Darla.

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Will either of them be able to make it out of the old people's home ? Could go either way but I'd say Blacjack collapes first.

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

Trauma is awful, really awful and thats saying alot amongst this roster but in this fed he may be in line for a push.

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Crazy headgear wearing Mexican, do you like doing job ?

Cee

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Frank loses to the Chicken lover due to botched Brains interference, causing Hustler to go off on another rant against midgets.

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Call me crazy but I think the Orange wins.

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys

DWB get the win to help restore some pride for their stable.

juggaloninjalee · February 8, 2009

Easy Prediction Key:

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys

mad5226 · February 8, 2009

Mainly because him as a champ seems so much more entertaining to me

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem

I always liked Big Problem...let's see if he has a future with you

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Because really how can you not like a chiken boy

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys

Astyn · February 9, 2009

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys

Hyde Hill · February 9, 2009

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem filth are good but not that big

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

K-Squared -vs Crazy Miguel

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys suprise suprise everyones fav indy team.

foolinc · February 9, 2009

Nation of Filth vs Gargantuan Problem

Rock City Stars vs General Hospital

Blackjack Robbins vs Elijah Harris

Trauma vs Ernie Turner

K-Squared vs Crazy Miguel

Stretch the Chicken Boy vs Dirty Frank

Valentine vs Inky the Squid Boy vs The Masked Orange

Chaos Demons vs Dirty White Boys

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