(Cornellverse) The Amazing Avatars

Antithesis · November 8, 2009

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

In the beginning…

I would like to say it was a normal day, like any other. Unfortunately, that day was particularly bad. It wasn’t that I had just learned that my neck injury was going to end my pro wrestling career. It wasn’t that my girlfriend had left me and that my dog had died. It was the fact that I had pushed everyone in my family away to the point that none of them had called to wish me a happy birthday. Not even my twin brother.

So yeah, it was rough. You can’t just lose everything and go and pretend to be happy. Well, at least not without copious amounts of alcohol. Which is what I was doing there that day. It had nothing to do with the fact that McJiggles was a strip club.

Okay, maybe a little. But I swear I spent most of my time staring at that old photograph. It was taken backstage at a wrestling show. In it was the whole clan. My sister Kate, my twin brother Jack, my step brother Charles, that my dad had adopted back when he dated Angelina Jolie and wanted to prove that he cared about poor black children. And there was my uncle, wearing his mask, and my cousin Takayuki in a Sam Strong T Shirt. And then, in the part that looked like it was smudged, was my father, looking mysterious as ever.

I vaguely remember the DJ announcing the next dancer, ‘Boom Boom’ Bertha, but I was caught up in my memories. Thinking about the last time I was truly happy. I was getting up to leave when suddenly the photograph was snatched out of my hand. I looked up to see ‘Boom Boom’ smiling and stuffing the picture down the front of her bra. I started asking for it back when she turned, and that’s when things went bad.

Before I say exactly what happened, I want to talk about ‘Boom Boom’. After the lawsuit and all, I got to speak with her once more and she seemed like a genuinely nice person, and I am sure her job couldn’t have been easy, what with being a stripper endowed with Triple T’s and all. Still, she had already killed five men, crippled three others, and permanently blinded one more with her stage show, so she should have known better.

But standing in McJiggles that day, I wasn’t aware of the threat. All I knew was that I had to get that photo back. And so, as ‘Boom Boom’ turned away I reached for the picture snug tightly between her killer mammaries. Just as I had my hand on the picture, her bra clasp broke.

Now, the surviving witnesses testified that in addition to taking out the first row of tables, ‘Boom Boom’ also knocked down a lighting array, several speakers, and the door to the men’s restroom. Myself, all I can recall is having enough time to scream ‘Noooooo’ before everything went black.

I woke up later in the hospital and learned that I had been in a coma for three months. But I’ll save that story for later.

Antithesis · November 8, 2009

There really isn’t much I can remember about the day I came out of the coma, except for the attorney blathering on about some conspiracy between exotic dancers and the makers of a bovine growth hormone, and how that meant I was going to receive a massive settlement.

And there was also the doctor, I forget his name, but he said that somehow the injury I sustained had repaired the damage to my neck. Right after he left, my twin brother Jack came into the room. We talked about various things that are all blurred together now, but I can recall one snippet of our conversation, it was after I told him that I could wrestle once again.

“Are you sure that is a good decision, what with the coma and all,” he asked.

“I’d like to try,” I told him. “If you want, we could put the team back together and make a run for it. Didn’t you say a bunch of companies wanted to hire you?”

He stared at me for a while before answering. “That was before you got hurt. I put all that on hold, so I haven’t signed with anyone yet. In fact the whole family put everything aside after we heard. They told us… they told us that you might not make it.”

I shifted about in my hospital bed as I attempted to hide my emotions. Finally I had to admit it. “I don’t know what to say. I thought you all had given up on me.”

He just shook his head and grinned. And suddenly, it hit me, the idea that would change the face of professional wrestling forever.

I told him, “well apparently I am rich now. Maybe if I started my own company everyone in the family could work there and I could make things right for all of you.”

I don’t know what his reply was, but he must have liked the idea, because a month later I was using the cash settlement to start my own wrestling promotion which would feature the greatest pro wrestling family of all time, the Amazing Avatars!

The Avatar Family

Jake Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

Jack Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

Charles Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/CharlesAvatar.jpg

Takayuki Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TakayukiAvatar.jpg

The Masked Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheMaskedAvatar.jpg

The Grand Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheGrandAvatar.jpg

Kate Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/KateAvatar.jpg

Antithesis · November 8, 2009

“No, no, no!” I slammed the phone down with as much force as I could muster. A month out of the hospital, and even though the doctors all said my neck was better somehow, I still wasn’t at one hundred percent yet. That was just another problem eating away at me that day.

“What’s wrong,” my cousin, Takayuki Avatar asked. He was seated in the room with me, along with my sister Kate and my step brother Charles. All of them looked on with concern. Along with Jack, they had agreed to help me form a wrestling company. They had put aside past issues out of familial bonds, and placed their careers in my hands. And already things were going south.

“I’ve just sank another twenty grand into promoting our first show, but now I learn that the belt maker won’t have the straps ready by then. We can’t crown tournament winners without championship belts.”

“Maybe just hand out trophies instead,” Kate suggested.

“Then what, run the same tournaments again for the belts? Everything has been planned already, and all that had to be worked around our uncle agreeing to show up as well. It just isn’t feasible right now.” My head sank into my hands as I contemplated explaining to my father how I had failed yet again.

“Excuse me, burp,” came a voice from the door, “I heard you needed a belt for the show?”

I looked up to see a homeless bum standing in the doorway.

“Uh, who are you?”

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/MadDogMortimer.jpg

“I’m Mad Dog Mortimer, a friend told me that you guys were starting up a new wrestling company in the Tri State area and might be hiring. Burp. I came down here to see if that was true and maybe wash off in your bathroom sink.”

Kate answered for me. “We are hiring, however the wrestlers we are looking for have to be dependable and safe in the ring."

Buuurp. “Well, I ain’t none of those things, but if you are gonna run in the Tri State area you gotta have some hardcore matches, and that’s my specialty, what with my high tolerance for burp due to my constant consumption of MD 20/20.”

“So that is where the name Mad Dog comes from?”

“Yeah. But more importantly than that, I got a belt you can use, if you hire me that is.”

He motioned to a stained bag at his feet. I started to walk over to get a better look when the stench hit me, and I retreated back around my desk.

“What in the hell is in that bag?”

“Mementos and keepsakes mostly, and my lunch. Found that under the overpass. Burp. Also got this here belt.”

He reached into the bag and I swear I thought I saw something… moving in there. But soon my eyes were fastened on the golden hued championship belt he had in his hands.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/DAVE_Unified.jpg

“DAVE? Where in the hell did you get that?”

Buurp! “Well on the way here I stopped by Phil Vibert’s house to see if he was hiring. Fortunately for me I was able to run away before he could load the shotgun. Anyway, burp, so I started goin through his trash and found that belt in there along with some nude photos of Mitch Naess. Guess what they say is true, DAVE is dead.”

Charles was the first to speak. “You know we can’t use an old belt from-”

I cut him off. “The belt will work just fine Mr. Mortimer. If you will excuse my relatives here, come sit down and we can begin discussing terms. Takayuki, on your way out tell Fumihiro Ota that I would like to speak to him. Kate could you relay that same message to the Lesbian tag team that was in earlier please?”

They all stared at me in shock.

“What are you planning Jake?”

I gave them my friendliest smile. “I am going to start a promotional war.”

After they left I shooed away the flies buzzing around Mad Dog and asked him, point blank, “Show me these nude photos you have of Mitch Naess.”

Antithesis · November 8, 2009

“I’ve called you all back to my office because I believe I can find spots on my roster for all of you, provided you do me one small favor.”

I looked across the desk at the sordid collection of human beings staring back at me and I trembled. Not in fear, but in anticipation at the havoc they would wreak across the wrestling world.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/FumihiroOta.jpghttp://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/CorrineWhite.jpghttp://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/VivJacobs.jpg

I’d start with Fumihiro Ota, the same man that, when we interviewed him earlier, pretended to be invisible so he could stare at my sister’s butt.

“Mr. Ota, it has come to my attention that you really think of yourself as being a ninja. That kind of dedication does not go unnoticed. And Miss White and Miss Jacobs, I know that both of your careers have suffered due to prejudice against your lifestyle choices.” I didn’t mention the fact that both of them looked like they had chased parked cars for a hobby. Of course, this fact didn’t stop Fumihiro from staring at their butts either.

“The three of you possess the skills needed to help this company grow to the next level. And all I need from you now is to use those skills in one slightly illegal endeavor, then I promise you all full time employment for so long as the Global Wrestling Association remains in business.”

Corrine White leaned back and propped up her combat boots on my desk. “Who do you want us to kill?”

I coughed until I turned red in the face. “Excuse me, but no, absolutely no killing. Or raping,” I stared hard at Fumihiro. “Just procure an item for me and you three will have jobs here for as long as you like. I want you to steal a women’s championship belt.”

“So who is it?”

I held up my hands and then slid over a piece of paper. “That is the home address for Alicia Strong and-”

Fumihiro Ota suddenly stood up, tossed a smoke bomb on the floor and tripped as he ran out of the office. Viv Jacobs watched him leave and then sighed.

“I guess he’ll ride with us in our van.”

Antithesis · November 8, 2009

Here is how the event unfolded, at least, according to what I was told after the fact…

Alicia answered the door.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/AliciaStrong.jpg

“Hello?”

“Hi there. My name is Corrine and this is my umm, partner Viv. We work for the Global Carpet Cleaning Crew. And we are here because we would really like to clean your carpet.”

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/CorrineWhite.jpghttp://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/VivJacobs.jpg

“I’m sorry but I-”

“We also do rugs. Viv here can munch, I mean, maintain your rug until it has a factory sheen, ain’t that right Viv?”

“I have had a lot of practice.”

Meanwhile, as that went on up at the front of the house, Fumihiro Ota expertly snuck in a side window. With incredible care he searched through Alicia Strong’s house until he found her bedroom. There he decided to look for the USPW’s Women’s belt in her dresser.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/FumihiroOta.jpg

“Ohh panty drawer!”

Back at the front of the house Viv had rolled out a shop vac and was demonstrating its amazing suction power.

“As you can see, there is nothing we can’t clean. So, with your permission, we would like to come in and see if the your carpet matches the drapes.”

“Excuse me, but isn’t that some kind of cheesy-”

“Well if you still aren’t sold, here is a more intimate demonstration of what we can do.”

Corrine then pulled out a small carpet sample and began to lick it.

At the same time, Mr. Ota had discovered Alicia Strong’s bras.

“34 C, very nice!”

He had just placed Alicia’s pink satin thong on his head when he heard her shout from the front of the house.

“That’s disgusting!”

“Uh oh, the lesbians have failed. Time to find that belt!” He then ran to Alicia’s closet, pulled off the belt from the top shelf, and tossed a smoke bomb as he ran from the room.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/USPWWomensChampionship.jpg

“I would appreciate it if you two sickos got off my porch. I like men and, wait what was that noise?”

Alicia then turned to see a man clad in a ninja outfit barreling at her from inside her own home. Worse yet, he seemed to have her USPW commemorative belt tucked under one arm and her pink satin thong stuck to his head.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Eclectic%20Stuff/fumi2.jpg

“Oh hell no!”

Alicia then blocked the doorway, but Fumihiro tossed a smoke bomb at her and yelled, “Runnn!!!”

He somehow got past her and then he and the Carpet Cleaning Crew were taking off in their van. Alicia stumbled back inside as her eyes watered and made her way to her bedroom. There she confirmed her worst fears.

“They stole my belt! And EWWWW! All my underwear are sticky!”

Jaded · November 8, 2009

Best opening posts EVER. Especially that last pic of Ota.

Keep up the good work with this one, can't wait to see where you go with it!

mad5226 · November 8, 2009

Ota may very well be my new favorite character now

Waghlon · November 8, 2009

Oh god, Ota the panty thief? Team L.W.A. making an appearance? Bits of DAVE?! YES!

YES!

More! Now!

Antithesis · November 8, 2009

“Yeah, and so what Jake? I told you, I was in college and those were taken as part of an art assignment. Plus, I needed the money.”

“But that still doesn’t explain how Phil Vibert had nude photos of you, Mitch.”

I could here the wheels turning inside his head.

“None of that matters. You want to talk business then call me back later. I have a show about to start and someone stole Alex Braun’s dentures.”

As I hung up the phone, my father walked into my office.

“What brings you here,” I asked.

“Got a call from Sam Strong,” he said, as he sat down across from me.

I knew he must have thought it serious, to come out all this way to talk in person. My father, also known as the Grand Avatar, suffers from an extremely rare skin condition that causes light to refract from his face in such a way that he is permanently shrouded in shadow.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheGrandAvatar.jpg

He’s not shy about it so much as he gets tired of people confusing him with the Dark Lord of the Sith. Probably why he spent most of his life working backstage away from people. Still, he was highly thought of as someone who could put the best matches together possible.

That said, he was no friend of Sam Strong.

“Strong said some of your workers molested his daughter.”

I laughed. “Of course not, at least, I don’t think Ota and the lesbians molested her…”

“Lesbians!”

“Calm down, it was just a stunt to garner publicity for our first show. Without even one match we are set to fill a 2,000 seat arena. You know how it is.”

“Still, Sam Strong is not someone you want as an enemy. This time its not just you, or you and Jack, its all of us. The whole family name is riding on this, so we can’t afford another one of your famous screw ups. The younger ones may be fully on board, but I have my reservations. And your uncle, well you know how he is.”

I took a few moments to consider my response. “Dad, I know I’ve messed up in the past. Made things tough for you and Jack. But when I came out of that coma and heard that I had been given a second chance at life, I swore then and there that I would do right for all of you and make up for my past mistakes. I don’t look at this as a chance at failure, but as a chance at redemption.”

He grumbled for a bit and I knew that he believed me. Still, he couldn’t leave without one more warning.

“Alright Jake, I’m trusting you. We’re all trusting you. Just next time you want to pull a crazy stunt, I absolutely, positively forbid you from doing anything insane in the ring. Certainly nothing like the last time. Even though you may hate many of the dopes you have to work with, as I have felt the same way in the past. Respect the business more than that.”

I shook his hand before he left. Once he was out of the room I exhaled and closed my eyes. I let myself go back to that night, the night I crossed the line and paid the price for it.

SWF Fan · November 8, 2009

My father, also known as the Grand Avatar, suffers from an extremely rare skin condition that causes light to refract from his face in such a way that he is permanently shrouded in shadow.

He’s not shy about it so much as he gets tired of people confusing him with the Dark Lord of the Sith. Probably why he spent most of his life working backstage away from people.

Actual genius dude, I couldn't stop laughing

xDRMx · November 8, 2009

If you can keep this going you have my vote for funniest diary EVER

The pic of Ota with the panties on his head has me setting here cleaning pepsi off my monitor.

mad5226 · November 8, 2009

seconded

DreamGoddessLindsey · November 8, 2009

This is HILARIOUS!

BHK1978 · November 8, 2009

I love this thus far keep up the great work!

Antithesis · November 9, 2009

Before I can explain what happened that night, I have to go back even further to tell you how I got there.

It may seem like breaking into the business when your dad is a legend is the easiest thing in the world. But the truth is both Jack and I were always held to higher standards, along with that included the occasional potato from someone in the ring who thought we had it easy. Maybe Jack had it easy, he was a natural athlete, faster and stronger than I could ever be, but nothing I did in wrestling came easy for me.

When Jack and I started tagging up it wasn’t long until we got an offer to go to Japan. There we wrestled as the All Star Avatars. It was a nice run, and we learned a lot. But both of us began to get homesick, so we jumped at the offer from Joel Bryant and accepted a try out with TCW.

I didn’t know at the time, but my dad had gotten us that try out, so when what happened went down, it hurt his reputation as well.

Regardless though, upon our arrival it was plain as day that Joel and Tommy liked us. We got some wins over the Young Guns and the Nation of Filth and we thought we were set to maybe get a run with the tag titles, and then I lost it.

Joel called me in to his office and told me about his plan to split us up. Here’s the part I’ve never admitted to another soul before. I was scared. I knew my brother was better than me, I knew that after the feud was over he’d get pushed to the stars. I could see myself as being known as that other brother, the one that couldn’t make it. I balked.

Okay, I didn’t just balk, I threw a major fit and stormed out of the office. I called Jack and made up some BS story about what happened, and my brother, without even asking, he backed my play. Joel Bryant said screw it and both of us were cut.

We got a rep as being hard to work with and my father’s relationship with the head honchos at TCW suffered. I felt awful, and eventually told Jack that I wanted to try my hand as a singles wrestler. He agreed.

Jack of course set out to disprove the rumors. Me, by that point I was filled with so much self loathing all I did was reinforce the stereotype.

I got caught bringing weed into Japan, and was barred from wrestling there ever again. I got kicked out of NOTBPW for not selling Dark Angel’s finisher and then not apologizing for it backstage afterwards. The list goes on and on. Until that night in RIPW where I crossed the line.

I still remember holding the booking sheet in my hand and thinking it couldn’t be right. Professor Nero had Big Smack Scott going over clean. Worse yet, Scott was in RIPW because had just signed with the SWF and they wanted him there to work off the ring rust. He was walking around the dressing room like a rooster crowing about how he was now a superstar. I got up and went to complain to Nero.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Eclectic%20Stuff/ProfessorNero.jpg

“Sorry kid, nothing I can do. I have a deal with Eisen, and Eisen wants Scott to go over. So, that’s all she wrote.” Nero paused to take a pill.

I remembered something then, and struggled to hide the smile creeping across my face.

“You alright there Nero,” I asked him.

“Yeah I’m fine, just something for my arthritis. Its hell getting old.”

“Hey you still have those Viagra you’re always cracking jokes about?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

I looked him square in the eye and didn’t blink. “How much you want for ten of them?”

After that transaction was concluded, I went back to the locker room and made my way over to Big Smack Scott’s water bottle.

Antithesis · November 9, 2009

Drop toe holds. Lots and lots of drop toe holds. Still, Scott hadn’t complained, and I wasn’t sure the Viagra had kicked in until I clothes-lined him and he was flat on his back with what looked like a miniature sun dial poking out of his trunks. I began to hear laughter and cat calls from the small audience.

I picked Scott up, he was already gassed by that point. And begging. “Please no more drops,” he whispered.

I pretended not to hear him as I shot him in the ropes and landed yet another drop toe hold. There was a cracking sound and I heard him scream. The look on his face though was priceless.

“YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE MY PENIS!”

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Eclectic%20Stuff/scott1.jpg

Had I stopped there I guess maybe things wouldn’t have gone bad for me. But I grabbed Scott again, hoisted him up and planted him with a face buster suplex.

Everyone in the crowd was laughing. Even I chuckled as Scott rolled around in a circle and screamed about how I had broken ‘Lil Smack Scott’.

I didn’t anticipate the dosage of steroids Scott was on. As soon as I turned to bask in the audience’s approval, I heard him running towards me. Before I could face him he tackled me and we flew through the ropes. He knocked my hand away as I tried to grab the middle rope, and I felt him turn such that when we landed the full weight of both of us came down on the back of my head and neck.

For several moments I couldn’t move, not even to signal the ref, but he must have known. I saw him make a fast ten count. He then jumped out of the ring and pulled Scott off of me. But before Scott departed he sneered and said, “Ain’t so funny now, is it.”

Eventually I could move, and walked to the back on my own. Scott had already left by then. Nero told me he’d drive me to the hospital himself. It was the next morning when I learned that I would never wrestle again.

Antithesis · November 9, 2009

(Just wanted to say thank you for all the kind words so far, they are definately appreciated. Also want to thank all the people who made the belt and character renders as well as the logos etc. that will be employed in this diary. Without your work, TEW much less our diaries, would be far less interesting.)

And so there it is.

I stopped ruminating over the past and forced myself to focus. That was then, this is now.

I looked over the roster sheet for the promotion and immediately felt better. We could do this, we could make this happen.

I introduce to you all the Global Wrestling Association, or the GWA for short.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Eclectic%20Stuff/GWA.jpg

Product Settings

Traditional: Medium

Mainstream: Heavy

Comedy: Medium

Cult: Key Feature

Risque: Medium

Modern: Medium

Realism: Medium

Hyper Realism: None

Hardcore: Low

Lucha Libre: Low

Pure: Low

Daredevil: Low

Face/Heel Divide: Medium

Women's Division: Integrated

Heels are in red, Faces are in blue.

Main Eventers

Charles Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/CharlesAvatar.jpg

Eisaku Hoshino

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/EisakuHoshino.jpg

Jack Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

Jake Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

Kate Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/KateAvatar.jpg

The Masked Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheMaskedAvatar.jpg

Steven Flash

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/SteveFlash_alt1.jpg

Upper Mid-Carders

Champagne Lover

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/ChampagneLover.jpg

Fumihiro Ota

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/FumihiroOta.jpg

Grease Hogg

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/GreaseHogg.jpg

Grunt

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Grunt.jpg

Jack Griffith

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackGriffith.jpg

Larry 'The Maniac' Wood

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/LarryWood_alt.jpg

LeadBelly

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/LeadBelly.jpg

Stevie Grayson

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/StevieGrayson.jpg

Stink

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Stink.jpg

Takayuki Avatar

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TakayukiAvatar.jpg

The Big Problem

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheBigProblem.jpg

Wanda Fish

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/WandaFish.jpg

Mid-Carders

Bob Casey

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/BobCasey.jpg

Brady Prince

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/BradyPrince.jpg

Burning Exile

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/BurningExile.jpg

Cameron Vessy

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/CameronVessey.jpg

D.C.Rayne

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/DCRayne.jpg

Eddie Howard

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/EddieHoward.jpg

Ernie Turner

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/ErnieTurner.jpg

Gargantuan

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Gargantuan.jpg

Golden Delicious

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/GoldenDelicious.jpg

Insane Machine

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/InsaneMachine.jpg

Sgt. Bubba Lee West

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/SgtBubbaLeeWest.jpg

Tamara McFly

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/TamaraMcFly.jpg

Lower Mid-Carders

Corrine White

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/CorrineWhite.jpg

Mad Dog Mortimer

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/MadDogMortimer.jpg

Omar Brown

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/OmarBrown.jpg

Sammy The Shark

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/SammyTheShark.jpg

Viv Jacobs

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/VivJacobs.jpg

Warren Technique

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/WarrenTechnique.jpg

Openers

K Squared

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/K-Squared.jpg

Louis Figo Manico

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/LouisFigoManico.jpg

Roz Larren

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/RozLarren.jpg

Valentine

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Valentine.jpg

Enhancement Talent

Davis Wayne Newton

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/DavisWayneNewton.jpg

Mister Evilness

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/MrEvilness.jpg

Weird Waldo Odlaw

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/WeirdWaldoOdlaw.jpg

Antithesis · November 26, 2009

I spotted him sitting up in the bleachers. He already had his gear on, meanwhile the ring crew was still finishing the ring. Aside from the laborers getting the place ready, he and I were the only people in the building associated with the wrestling show.

“Mind if I take a seat?”

He motioned to the empty chair next to him. “Go ahead. Hell, you paid for them.” He looked at his watch and then stared back at the work down at the arena floor. I knew he was impatient. My uncle lived for the business, and was at that stage where maybe his best days had passed him by, all without ever reaching that big break.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheMaskedAvatar.jpg

Don’t get me wrong, he was still very good in the ring. A natural old school heel, he worked a no nonsense style coupled with a better than thou bad attitude, my uncle was an example of living your gimmick. Which reminded me of the reason why I wanted to speak to him.

“So, you’re ok with what we discussed?”

“Yeah, that’s all fine. My main worry is you. No offense, but it was just two months ago that you woke up out of that coma. The time off along with the injury, I need to know you can carry your weight.”

“I’ll be fine, so long as you agree I get the win.”

He just shook his head and walked off.

Like I said, old school.

Antithesis · November 27, 2009

After the conversation with my uncle, I wandered off and found a nice place to hide. More of the crew was starting to come in, and I wanted some time to think.

It was true that I wasn’t one hundred percent yet, and while I owned the company, I shouldn’t make the show revolve around me. It was like a revelation of sorts, prior to that, I thought maybe I could start out by winning all the titles by myself, beat everyone else and become a wrestling superstar all on my own.

Okay, not quite, but still, I had to admit the last few years, while my relatives were all building their names, mine was slowly falling into the gutter, and even now, I wasn’t ready to carry a company based on what I could do in the ring.

So, after giving it more thought, I went to the locker room and talked with Dad and Jack. They both agreed with me. The problem then was communicating the change of plans to one of our headliners, a guy my Uncle knew real well from his days in Japan, Eisaku Hoshino.

“Hey Fumihiro, come here a second. You speak Japanese don’t you,” he nodded in the affirmative. “Great, I need to talk to Eisaku Hoshino and I was wondering if you could translate for me? Oh, and could you please take those panties off your head?”

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Eclectic%20Stuff/fumi2.jpg

“No problem. So, what do you want to say to Eisaku-san?”

“Basically I just want to thank him for agreeing to work for us. Then I’d like to tell him that there has been a change of plans and that now he’ll be taking part in the World title tournament-”

“Wait, you are holding a tournament? Am I in it?”

“No, sorry Fumi. In fact because of the changes we have had to bump your match from the show and all. I’ll still pay you though.”

Fumi just grinned and said, “Oh well,” before going over to speak to Eisaku. I was told later after I gained consciousness that this was what he actually said.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/EisakuHoshino.jpg

“Hello, my name is Fumihiro Ito and I was asked to speak to you on behalf of the boss, Jake Avatar. Mr. Avatar says that he is a big fan of Japanese wrestlers and you in particular. He says he loves your muscles and thinks you are very pretty. After the show he would like you to visit his hotel room and show him if what they say about Asian men is true.”

After that, Eisaku ran up and head butted me right in the face, and I missed the opening of the show.

Antithesis · November 27, 2009

Live from The Pennsylvania Park

Saturday, Week 3, January 2008

GWA Presents: The Big Bang

Segment 1:

I was out for almost all of this. I was told that the segment itself was great, with my brother Jack appearing almost Shakespearian in his ennui and melancholy recitation of familial woe while my Uncle the Masked Avatar summoned the spirit of a young Jack Nicholson as he raged on about the failures of our generation and America’s youth in general. Apparently the crowd was swept to tears, with several notable ring rats renouncing sex all together and leaving to go join nunneries. Meanwhile I was unconscious backstage, where people said they heard me mumbling about toilet plungers and Carrot Top.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheMaskedAvatar.jpg
Rating: B-

Backstage:

I finally came to and someone told me what had happened. When I heard what Fumihiro had done, he tossed a smoke bomb on the floor and tried to hide behind Gargantuan. I just ignored him and went up to Champagne Lover and told him to try his best to work with The Big Problem. He just stared at me blankly and kept saying “Si, senior.”

I sighed and asked loudly, “anyone here speak Spanish?”

“Ahem.” I turned and saw Fumihiro had his hand in the air.

“Umm no, not you again. Anyone else?” Finally Corrine White walked up and asked what I wanted translated. I told her, Champagne Lover listened as she spoke, and I didn’t get knocked out cold.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/CorrineWhite.jpg

Impressed I asked her, “Thank you for helping me. Just where did you learn to speak Spanish?”

She pulled a hair out of her mouth before answering. “I used to work a lot of shows down in Tiajuana. It was a big hit.”

“Really, what promotion?”

“Oh, it wasn’t a wrestling show. See there was this donkey and I’d wear this sombrero and-”

I ran straight to the bathroom.

GWA World Title Tournament Match 1:

The Big Problem
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheBigProblem.jpg

vs.

Champagne Lover
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/ChampagneLover.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxOaZiHw0Xo

Again, I missed much of this as well because of a medical “incident”. But I was told it went down like your typical ‘Big Man versus a Mexican’ match. Meaning The Big Problem lumbered around the ring as Champagne Lover installed drywall at a very reasonable price. In the end, The Big Problem eventually caught the faster man, hit some power moves, and finished the match.

Winner: The Big Problem via The Big Ouchie!
Rating: D+

Next:

Gargantuan
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Gargantuan.jpg

vs.

Mad Dog Mortimer
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/MadDogMortimer.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ucAEdM8CLY

This wasn’t part of the world title tourney, mainly because I didn’t want to be associated with a company that considered Mad Dog Mortimer a World Title contender. Not that Mort did poorly, he was better than Gargantuan, it was just the two completely lacked any chemistry whatsoever. Most likely because prior to the match Mad Dog had drank it.

Winner: Gargantuan via The Crowd Killer
Rating: F

Segment 2:

Ernie Turner comes out to

He’s decked out in his full pimp regalia, which includes a gold plated Hustler D hanging from his neck. Beside him is Golden Delicious, looking lovely in a belt, dental floss, and bits of a McDonald’s Bacon Egg and Cheese biscuit wrapper. Ernie unchains Hustler D and grabs a mic. He starts talking about the Pimp Nation and how it will carry him to victory. He then asks for his opponent to come out, as he has a proposition for him.
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/ErnieTurner.jpghttp://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Eclectic%20Stuff/GoldenDelicious.jpghttp://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Eclectic%20Stuff/HustlerD.jpg

The Maniac Larry Wood’s music plays
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-ai0OyCh5c&feature=related

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/LarryWood_alt.jpg

He enters the ring and removes his mask. Ernie asks that he just hear him out. He then pushes Golden Delicious forward and says that Larry can have her for the night if he turns around and takes the count out. Larry looks Delicious over and pushes her aside. Ernie tells him that’s okay, maybe Larry likes something a little different and then shoves Hustler D over. Larry ignores the midget as Hustler D shakes his ass at Larry. He grabs the microphone from Ernie and tells him “If I want a woman, I’ll just make you my bitch after tonight.”

Ernie screams like a little girl and tries to escape, but Larry grabs him and the ref signals for the bell to start the match.

Rating: D-

Match:
Ernie Turner

vs.

‘Maniac’ Larry Wood

In hindsight, I really wish I hadn’t been unconscious or busy puking my guts out because I would have liked to have gone over the match with both guys before hand. Honestly, what kind of match consists entirely of one man (Larry) stomping on another man’s (Ernie) testicles for seven minutes? Actually it was a good thing, because when they both came back from the ring every other man in the locker room shied away from Larry. Suddenly it hit me, a new gimmick. ‘The Testicular terror’ Larry Woods. It would be money, wouldn’t it?

Winner: ‘Maniac’ Larry Wood via genital mutilation
Rating: E+

Backstage:

I was trying to tell Larry Wood about my new gimmick idea when Grunt and Stink walked up, both of them huffing and red faced.

“What’s wrong?”

“Man there was some mix up at the music store and somehow we got the wrong ring music!”

“What they give you a different Nickleback CD?” I

“No. This.” Grunt gave me the CD. I shrugged.

“Too late to fix it now. It’s time for your match. Get on out there.”

Grunt stamped his foot. “I will not! I want a mid card title run first!”

I just stared. “Whatever. We’ll talk later. Just get out there already.” And after he left I literally laughed my ass off.

GWA World Title Tournament Match 2:

Eisaku Hoshino
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/EisakuHoshino.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwhcioQ0luY&feature=related

vs.

Grunt
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Grunt.jpg

Note To Self: Make more matches using pissed off wrestlers! This match was brutal, but in a good way. Eisaku must have still been upset about the Fumihiro incident from earlier, and Grunt seemed pretty peeved himself. The two of them lit into each other with chops and punches. Grunt was busted open hardway by a fierce looking elbow. Poor guy, then Eisaku dropped him on his head with a series of rolling German suplexes, which garnered a two count. Grunt fought back though, and nearly took Eisaku’s head off with a nasty running clothesline. The crowd slowly began getting into the physicality of the match itself, and cheered when Eisaku worked out of a power slam and hit the Godzilla Plunge for the victory.

Winner: Eisaku Hoshino via Godzilla Plunge
Rating: C

Backstage:

I congratulated Grunt on a great match. I tried to do the same to Eisaku but he growled at me and put both his hands over his lap when I approached. Knowing that my match was next, I went to talk to my opponent one last time.

“It’s no problem Jake, really. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you out there. You want any of this?” He handed me a bottle which read ‘Bronze Age- Spray On Tan’. I started to hand it back when I noticed what it said on the bottom of the bottle.

“Made with real gravy, what the hell.”

“It’s for the girls after the show. I save money not having to take them out to eat. Just buy a loaf of bread and let them rub the gravy off of my body. Huge turn on.”

I just shook my head and walked off.

GWA World Title Tournament Match 3:

Jake Avatar
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

vs.

Steve Flash
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/SteveFlash_alt1.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7A2acBVENA

The first few minutes of this match weren’t good. I couldn’t grab Steve because of the gravy tan sauce. My hands kept sliding off. I knew from his laughter that this was a really bad rib on me. (Ribs and Gravy?!?!)

But then the flies started to buzz around him, along with some other things that began to bite. After people started to boo, I told him flat out, “okay enough of this.” I threw him outside and followed him out. In the first row was an old woman holding a full cup of some frothy beverage.

I tried to grab it from her, but she told me bluntly, “You grab my beer and I’ll rip out your eyes and skull **** you!” Okay grandma.

Eventually I found someone willing to part with their soda, and doused Steve with it. Now, of course, he was sticky, but at least he wasn’t drawing flies anymore. Back in the ring we exchanged punches until he whipped me into the ropes. He caught me with a back drop, but as I was falling, he spun around, put his hands on my shoulders and appeared to ‘spike’ me into the canvas. The crowd ate it up like spray on gravy.

ONE
TWO

I kicked out at two and a half. Steve then went to the top rope and wasted little time launching off, but I moved, and he landed with a thud. I slowly got up, backed him up against the ropes with some knees, and eventually pushed him out such that he straddled the second rope while his upper torso was outside of the ring and his legs were inside the ring. We then did a see-saw spot with him falling back but always catching himself on the ropes. The mood caught me and suddenly I ran to the nearest corner, climbed up and hit him with an arm across the throat, he whipped backwards off the second rope and turned as he fell, perfectly against my shoulder where I caught him and fell back into a reverse atomic drop. It was then, as I heard them cheer, that I knew I would be alright.

I rolled back into the ring to break up the ten count, and went back to pick Steve up. But he was playing possum, and raked my eyes as soon as he was standing. He then hit me with a forward Russian leg sweep on the concrete. He rolled me in and went for the pin.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF

And then the ref saw my foot on the rope. Steve argued with him for a few seconds, enough time to let me catch my breath, then pulled me up and sent me into a corner where he tried to clothesline me, but I moved. I then hit him with a series of chops and leg kicks. I then grabbed him and set him up for my finisher, The Career Killer, which is basically a suplex transitioned into a shoulder breaker, but once I had Steve up, he shimmied out of it and landed on his feet behind me, where he wasted no time hitting me with a Flash Bang. He then covered for the pin.

ONE
TWO
THREE.

I took in the cheers from the crowd as I rested on the canvas. Steve had kept his word and I was happy, that was a good match we had. And then I heard it, the crowd reaction changed, and I knew that while the match was over, the beatings had just begun.

Winner: Steve Flash via Flash Bang
Rating: B-

The End of Part One

Antithesis · November 30, 2009

Continued From Part One

Segment 3:

I was still wobbling on my feet as Jack Griffith rolled into the ring. As he was getting a microphone I looked behind me and saw that Steve hadn’t left the ring either.
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackGriffith.jpg

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, Jake Avatar. You think that just because you lucked your way into some money and start a wrestling company that gives you the right to play with peoples’ livelihood? I sign a contract to wrestle, not play some buffoon. I want all these people to know, right now, that you asked me to come out here later and pretend I was drunk, to stumble around the ring, fall on my face, and have this entire crowd laugh at me!”

I shook my head no and tried to speak into the mic but he shoved me away.

“You don’t get a say now. Back in the day, one of the boy’s had a problem, there was no internet for all the damn smart marks to log in and make their crappy little comments. All those bastards, joking about my battles with alcohol, none of them would have the stones to say it to my face. But you, everything is a joke to you, isn’t it? Just because you ran headlong into ruining your career doesn’t mean everyone is as stupid as you are.”

At that point I grabbed the microphone. “Wait just a minute. First thing, I never asked you to do any of that. All I said was that you had been away from the business for a while, and if you wanted, you could come out to the ring and talk to the fans, as I figured that there might be two, maybe three people in the audience that gave a damn about Jack Griffith. I never asked you to play a fool. You are just out here trying to cause trouble because you are a bitter old man who screwed up and is looking to take it out on somebody. But I’m not your whipping boy. You wanna talk, we’ll go to the back and talk. You want to get your teeth kicked in, we can do that right now.”

He swung at me, but I blocked it and countered with left. I threw a couple more punches before Steve Flash tackled me and then held me down as Jack Griffith put the boots to me. This went on for several moments until my brother Jack ran down to the ring.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

He pulled Steve off of me and hit him with a DDT. Jack Griffith then started brawling with him. Soon after my uncle ran down with a metal folding chair. I was on one knee, and I stretched out a hand for him to help me up, when he plastered me with the chair. I folded like an empty burrito at Casa Del Taco. He began to beat his other nephew with the chair while I got color.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheMaskedAvatar.jpg

This went on for a little while, until the crowd cheered as Kate and Takayuki ran down to the ring. The three amigos jumped out. The Masked Avatar pulled the microphone out of the ring.

“Kate, Taka. You two would be well advised to not involve yourself in this. This is between us and those two in there. All their lives they’ve been coddled and protected. Well its time they learned some tough lessons the hard way. Jake, enjoy losing your control of your company. And Jack, I’ll finish with you later.”

Beaten and bloody, Jack and I were helped to the back.

Rating: C

GWA World Title Tournament Match 4:

Stevie Grayson
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/StevieGrayson.jpg

vs.

Sgt. Bubba Lee West
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/SgtBubbaLeeWest.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKsoqYP9UMI&feature=related

Bubba entered the ring first, so, as soon as Stevie made his way down, Bubba jumped him before the match started. The ref tried to stop the assault, but Bubba just shoved him away as he wailed on Stevie, who by this point, still had his shiny ring jacket on. Bubba rammed Stevie’s head into the metal corner post several times before finally sliding back into the ring. The ref followed him, administering a stern warning along the way, eventually he turned and began the count.

It was at seven before Stevie finally started to move, and was at nine when he managed to get his head under the bottom rope, thereby breaking the count. Bubba went berserk at that, and he ran up and punted Stevie in the face with the tip of his boot. Stevie fell from the ring apron and dropped to the floor, almost lifeless. The ref jumped from the ring to check on him, and he and the crowd gasped when Stevie was rolled over and his face was caked with blood. Before he could signal to end the match, however, Stevie grabbed his arm and shook his head. The match would continue.

With that, Bubba jumped him once again, rolling Stevie back into the ring and quickly covering him.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF

Grayson kicked out, which seemed to enrage Bubba even further. He scooped Stevie up and whipped him into the ropes and leaned forward for a back body drop, but Grayson dove over him in an attempted sunset flip. He got a one count before Bubba kicked out. The former drill instructor was the first to his feet, and he immediately raked Grayson across the eyes and then planted him with a swinging neck breaker. Bubba then climbed the nearest corner and jumped off the second rope, but his knee found only empty canvas as Stevie rolled out of the way. Stevie then connected with a standing drop kick that knocked Bubba through the ropes, buying Grayson some extra time.

But Bubba was back in the ring quickly, and he rushed Grayson yet again, this time he was met with a spinning back kick and a knee lift. He stood up and was hit with several forearm shots and European uppercuts. Bubba staggered back into the corner, and Stevie attempted a monkey flip, unfortunately that failed when Bubba held on to the top rope. Grayson crashed backwards and Bubba immediately began ascending the ropes yet again.

However, Stevie was already on his feet and he charged the corner and began punching Bubba and then climbing the ropes himself. He then set Bubba up for a Super SteviePlex from the top rope and hit the maneuver successfully, Bubba crashed to the mat with a sickening thud and Stevie covered him for the pin.

ONE
TWO
THREE

Stevie Grayson could barely stand when the referee raised his arm in victory.

Winner: Stevie Grason via Stevieplex
Rating: C-

Backstage:

I had just finished cleaning myself up from the beating I had taken earlier when I heard a commotion at the front of the locker room. At the door was a herd of sallow faced men in ugly blue suits, and in the middle of them all, there was Sam Strong’s daughter, Alicia.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/AliciaStrong.jpg

“Excuse me, are you Jake Avatar,” one of the suits asked. I ignored him and focused on Alicia. She was quite cute, I could definitely see why Fumihiro would still be running around with her panties on his head. Aside from that, I noticed that she happened to be dressed in her ring attire. I had a sneaky suspicion where this was headed.

“I’m Jake Avatar, pleased to meet you.”

“Mr. Avatar, my name is Patrick Davis, from the law firm of Davis, Ingram, Colton, and King. Or Dick for short. I am here representing Miss Alicia Strong concerning-”

“Look, Mister short dick or Davis or whatever you said your name is. I was just involved in a recent lawsuit myself, so I have an idea of how this works. No doubt you will make a lot of threats, try to intimidate me, and so on. Meanwhile I see Alicia has got her gear on, so I assume there is some kind of offer. I let her wrestle, you all won’t sue. That sound about right?”

“Actually-”

“Just be quiet,” this time it was his client who cut him off. “I am dressed like this because USPW is running a show the next town over, and these are my father’s attorneys, he made me bring them along because I was coming down here anyway. I want my property back. And you’re gonna give it to me.”

Listening to her and looking at her, I felt this strange heat and a tingling sensation on the back of my neck. I began to dream of her and I, together, married and on vacation at some beach somewhere spending her father’s money. She lounging about in a tiny yellow bikini as our fat and happy children ran around playing in the surf… I smiled, she scowled.

Hmm maybe she wasn’t interested. So what was that strange feeling. I turned and saw Fumihiro behind me, panting.

Why me?

“Fumihiro, give the lady her slightly soiled pink underwear back, please?”

Fumi seemed to shrink under my withering gaze. “I can’t boss. They’re uhh stuck to my mask."

“Well damnit, just give her your mask too!” I was so aggravated now, I didn’t care anymore.

He took his time, but eventually the ninja mask came off.

Everyone around us was in shock.

“What the hell!”

“Somebody call a doctor!”

“Just what were on those panties!”

“Is that what happened to Michael Jackson?”

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/FumihiroOta_alt15.jpg

Prolonged contact with Alicia Strong’s underwear had turned the skin on Fumihiro Ota’s face completely white!

I turned to Alicia and told her, as plainly as I could, “after you are done here, you might want to go get yourself checked out by a doctor.”

She became rather upset at that. “What about my belt?”

“Well, that is a little different,” I told her. “Possession being nine tenths of the law and all. You want it back, you’ll have to earn it in in the tournament. Maybe you could meet my sister in the final match. You’ve heard of her, widely regarded as the best female wrestler in North America. Kate Avatar.”

Alicia sniffed her nose at that comment, and then made a funny face because her underwear wasn’t too far away from that nose.

“As much as I find your offer tempting, I can’t stay here that long. I still have to get back for my father’s show in an hour.”

I thought it over for a bit and then offered another solution.

“How about we try this instead?”

As I presented my idea, I could tell that she liked it. It was a real shame though that it wouldn’t quite work out as either of us expected.

Segment 4:

The announcer introduced ‘The Furious Furry’ Roz Larren. Her music began and she bursts out of the curtain and made her way to the ring.
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/RozLarren.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NB-kdxpDoM

As the announcer prepared to call out her opponent's name, someone jumped the guardrail and slid into the ring behind Roz. The intruder quickly bulldogs the unsuspecting Roz, then in one smooth motion scoops her up and hit’s the Angel Driver. The figure then grabbed the microphone from the announcer and stands over a prone Roz Larren.

“You all know who I am, I’m Alicia Strong. What you don’t know, is why I am here in this festering toilet of a promotion. Some time ago several wrestlers that work for the GWA came to my house and stole some property that belonged to me, and I am here now to get it back. One of the people that helped steal it, was this disgusting lesbian named Corrine White. Typical immoral scum that represents this crappy company, to get my belt back I have to beat her and whichever sleaze ball wins the next women’s match.”

“More than likely that will be Kate Avatar, who I’ll face at the next GWA show. Kate, at one time I respected you as a trailblazer for other female wrestlers. Your work ethic and talent was top notch. But now you’ve aligned yourself with these slime balls and it will be my privilege to beat you and show you the error of your ways. But before that, I have to teach Corrine White a lesson. So bring her out here and lets get this over with!”

And with that, she folded her arms and waited.

Rating: D-

GWA Women’s Title Tournament Match 1:

Alicia Strong
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/AliciaStrong.jpg

vs.

Corrine White
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/CorrineWhite.jpg

I’d like to say that Corrine won, or that she even held her own. But Alicia was trained early on in Japanese dojo’s and could handle herself quite well. She tied Corrine into a knot and quickly made her tap with the Strong Arm Tactics. Alicia then departed the ring and left the building, her army of lawyers following behind.

Winner: Alicia Strong via Strong Arm Tactics
Rating: E-

GWA Women’s Title Tournament Match 2:

Viv Jacobs
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/VivJacobs.jpg

vs.

Kate Avatar
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/KateAvatar.jpg

Viv started the match by catching Kate with a kick, and then landed some stiff looking punches. Kate fought back, and hit a series of moves starting with a fireman’s carry and transitioned into a float-over and worked it into an STF leg lock. Viv wouldn’t submit, however, so she let her up. They again traded punches until Viv raked Kate’s eyes, she then scooped her up for a body slam but Kate rolled her into a small package instead.

ONE
TWO

Viv kicked out and went to clothesline Kate, who ducked, sending Viv into the ropes, on the rebound Kate caught Viv with a very fluid looking spine buster. She then signaled to the crowd and grabbed Viv in a gut wrench suplex and turned it into a sit down power bomb for the pin.

Winner: Kate Avatar via Faded Glory gut wrench suplex.
Rating: D

Kate then grabbed a mic, which wasn’t planned, and said, “Alicia Strong wants a piece of me, I’ll see you for the title. Prepare to bleed, you stuck up bitch!”

Backstage:

When Kate came back I made my way over to her and complimented her on her match. “But what was with that promo,” I asked.

“That girl comes in here, runs her mouth acting all holier than thou and thinks because you suggested it, that I’m gonna lay down and give her an easy victory. Well, I am not losing to her. And if she wants her belt back that badly, we can make it a shoot and just see what happens.”

I knew well enough that Kate had to be left alone when angry, so I just walked off. Alicia and Kate, in a shoot? How in the world would I explain to Sam Strong that my sister killed his daughter?

GWA World Title Semi Final Match:

The Big Problem
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheBigProblem.jpg

vs.

Eisaku Hoshino
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/EisakuHoshino.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwhcioQ0luY&feature=related

Alas, this match wasn’t as good as it could have been, as neither man really wanted to sell for the other. TBP did his usual offense of Big Boots, clotheslines, and punches. He did have one cool spot where he hit Eisaku with three power bombs in a row before releasing him, but that resulted in a two count and Eisaku was soon up and flying across the ring.

I have to give this to Hoshino, the man never ran out of air. Eventually The Big Problem went well past exhaustion and was pinned off of a cross body block from the top rope.

Winner: Eisaku Hoshino via Flying Cross Body Block
Rating: D+

The End of Part Two.

To Be Continued in Part Three

Antithesis · December 2, 2009

The Conclusion of GWA’s The Big Bang 2008

GWA World Title Semi Final Match:

Steve Flash
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/SteveFlash_alt1.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7A2acBVENA

vs.

Stevie Grayson
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/StevieGrayson.jpg

Grayson came out with a large bandage on his forehead. At the bell, Steve Flash rushed him, but was met with a series of arm drags and hip tosses. Steve Flash then tried a collar and elbow lock up into an arm breaker, but that was reversed and led into a headlock by Grayson. Steve Flash shot Grayson into the ropes but was shoulder blocked to the mat for his trouble, he popped back up and then ate a well executed drop kick. Steve Flash rolled out of the ring to take a breather as the fans booed him.

This trend continued, with all of Steve Flash’s offense being blocked or reversed by Grayson with Steve Flash rolling out of the ring. On the fourth time outside of the ring, Steve Flash turned his back to argue with a fan. Big mistake. When he turned back around Grayson was already half way out of the ring with a plancha dive through the ropes. He rolled Steve Flash back in and went for the pin.

ONE
ONE AND A HALF

Steve Flash kicked out. Grayson scooped him up and dropped him with a body slam. He then ran to the nearest corner, climbed to the top and launched himself into a moonsault. Again, Grayson went for the pin.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF

This time Steve Flash barely got his shoulder up before the three count. Grayson then tried pulling Steve Flash up by his hair, but Steve Flash punched Grayson in the groin and then stood the rest of the way on his own. Grayson doubled over and turned away, when he turned back around, still doubled over, Steve Flash hit him with a DDT. A small trickle of blood was now flowing from underneath Stevie Grayson’s bandage. This seemed to set Steve Flash off, as he began stomping at Grayson’s forehead until half the bandage was knocked off, which revealed a nasty gash and caused more blood to flow.

Steve Flash then raked the laces of his boot across the wound, opening up the cut even further. He then grabbed Grayson’s legs and flipped him over into a Boston crab. Steve Flash leaned backwards, increasing the torque on Grayson’s back, until Grayson screamed out in pain. He did not submit, however, and eventually Grayson used his arms to push himself off of the mat, which caused Steve Flash to move forward. Grayson then ducked his head and rolled into the hold, causing his legs to push Steve Flash backwards and over him, tumbling over Grayson.

Steve Flash was up first, and landed a running knee lift on Grayson. He went for the pin.

ONE
TWO

Grayson pulled a shoulder up. Steve Flash then began to choke him several times, always breaking the hold before the five count. Finally, after one attempt too many, the ref pulled him away from Grayson and the two argued briefly. In that time Grayson had hoisted himself up to one knee. Steve Flash pushed the ref aside and ran at Grayson, stepping on the out stretched knee to boost him up enough to knee Grayson square in the face.

After landing the Shining Wizard, Steve Flash covered Grayson again.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF

The ref stopped counting because Grayson had placed a foot on the bottom rope. Steve Flash began kicking to bottom ring rope out of frustration. Grayson eventually was on one knee again, and Steve Flash attempted another Shining Wizard, but Grayson tilted sideways and swept one of Steve Flash’s legs out from under him. Steve Flash pitch forward, face first into the second turn buckle. Grayson quickly covered him.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF

Steve Flash got a shoulder up. Grayson did not hesitate, however, and he pulled his opponent up and sent him crashing into the opposite corner. He then ran in and hit him with a Big Splash. He then shot Steve Flash into the opposite corner from that one, and tried another big splash, but Steve Flash moved out of the way. Stunned, Grayson wobbled on his feet as Steve Flash then grabbed him and quickly set him up for the Flash Bang.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND HALF

THREE.
After the pin Steve Flash immediately made his way back to the locker room. One would assume to rest as much as possible before the tournament final.

Winner: Steve Flash via the Flash Bang
Rating: D+

Backstage:

Once Steve Flash had made it back to the locker room, I called him over to where we were standing. Off in a corner were my brother, my uncle, Hoshino, and now Steve Flash.

I hit play on my portable boom box. Suddenly the air was filled motivational music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmGgQ8fvIP8

“Look guys, this is it. There have already been some good matches tonight, but this company needs a home run. Plenty of people out there want to see us fail. They expect it to happen. So lets go out there, prove all the haters wrong. Tonight is the night they’ll always REMEMBER THE TITANS!”

I looked up to see that my uncle had already left. Jack stayed around long enough to roll his eyes before walking off.

Steve Flash smiled and grabbed me by the shoulder. “That was a great speech. So tell me, does my hair look okay?”

Match:

The Masked Avatar
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheMaskedAvatar.jpg

vs.

Jack Avatar
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu67yo-3jfw

As Jack walked out, he attempted to hide his limp, but it was still obvious. As soon as he entered the ring, the Masked Avatar jumped him, and the two immediately exchanged punches, kicks and chops. Neither gave up any ground until Jack landed a chop on the Masked Avatar’s chest that resounded through the building and raised a nasty welt that trickled blood. The Masked Avatar doubled up, and Jack dropped down to land an uppercut which knocked the masked man backwards. Masked Avatar rolled out of the ring, but Jack followed.

The two again traded punches until the Masked Avatar grabbed Jack by the hair and tossed him head first into the metal guard rail. He then put his foot on Jack’s throat and pressed down until the ref pushed him away. The Masked Avatar began to taunt the fans but was shocked when he turned around and was met with a clothesline. Jack kicked at his uncle as the Masked Avatar tried to crawl away, to no avail. Jack through the Masked Avatar over the guard rail, and the two began brawling in the crowd.

The ref, having long ago given up any attempt at a count out, followed behind them as they traded punches. Jack again got the upper hand as he hoisted the Masked Avatar up and slammed him across a row of now empty chairs. Jack then grabbed both his opponent’s legs and dragged him back even further to a concession stand.

There he turned over a large garbage can, emptying its contents on to the masked man. He then bashed him with the can several times. He set the can back up and grabbed the Masked Avatar lowered him into the can until only the masked man’s head and legs stuck out. Jack then hopped up on the serving area of the concession stand and dropped a leg across the Masked Avatar’s throat. The can turned over and his opponent spilled out. Jack attempted to pull the Masked Avatar up, but was met with a head butt, followed by the Masked Avatar grabbing Jack’s hair snatching it back in a reverse leg sweep that sent the back of Jack’s head crashing into the concrete floor.

A small amount of blood began to pool around Jack, forming a crimson halo of sorts as his uncle slowly crawled back towards the ring. Jack slowly stirred and then sat up, a laceration clearly open on the back of his head.

The ref was the first to get to the ring, and began to count. The Masked Avatar made it in at the six count. Jack stumbled in at the nine count. Once inside, the Masked Avatar leaped across and took Jack down with a single leg. He then placed Jack’s bad leg between both of his as he grape vined the legs and wrenched backwards. Jack reached over and tried to grab his opponent, just barely securing one finger in the mask’s eyehole before it slipped away.

The Masked Avatar wrenched back again, and this time Jack reached for the nearest ring rope. The ref began to count as the Masked Avatar quickly released the hold and stood up. But this was only to gain better position, as he grabbed the injured leg and pulled Jack towards the center of the ring. Once there, he began kicking at the injured leg and punished it further with several knee drops. He then grabbed it again and attempted to spin it into a figure four, but Jack leaned up and pulled the Masked Avatar down into a small package.

ONE
TWO

The Masked Avatar broke free and quickly landed an elbow drop on to Jack’s chest. He then rolled down and tried to put Jack into a knee bar, but pulled the leg away and then kicked out with it, catching the Masked Avatar in the face. Both men were slow to their feet, with the Masked Avatar again going for a single leg takedown, but this time Jack pancaked his opponent as he shot in. Jack then displayed his amateur experience by transitioning from a front face lock into a double chicken wing. He then slid down, place his head square in the small of the back, and rolled the Masked Avatar over. Jack then lifted himself up in a bridge and now had the Masked Avatar in a pinning predicament.

ONE
TWO

The Masked Avatar rolled out, and quickly pounced from his knees as Jack sat up. He brought one leg over Jack's left arm as he held firm to Jack’s right arm. He then put more of his weight on the back of Jack’s neck and then rocked backwards, placing Jack in a crucifix!

ONE
TWO

Jack scooted up until more of his weight was aligned with his legs, he then pulled forward before the three count, lifting himself off the mat. Before the Masked Avatar could adjust again, Jack then leaned to one side, pulling his opponents legs with his arm and pinning his shoulders down to canvas.

ONE
TWO

The Masked Avatar kicked out, and both men raced to their feet. Jack was faster, and he grabbed his opponent in a headlock and quickly spun around into a single arm bar. He then put one foot forward and pivoted, thereby going in front of the Masked Avatar, where he quickly grabbed the other arm as well and had secured a tight double under-hook.

He hoisted the Masked Avatar up vertically and held him there for several seconds before falling forward and crashing the Masked Avatar face first into the mat. He went for the pin.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF

The Masked Avatar kicked out. Both men slowly got to their feet, and again exchanged punches. Jack attempted a kick with his injured leg, but the Masked Avatar caught it and wasted little time taking Jack down with a Dragon leg whip. The Masked Avatar then worked over the leg some more before finally pulling Jack towards the ropes, where he placed the foot on the bottom rope, held it in place with his own foot and then came crashing down on the leg. He did this twice more and then slid out of the ring and pulled the leg out and smashed it down on the corner of the mat. The Masked Avatar then pulled Jack to the nearest corner post, where he wrapped the injured leg around it, placed Jack’s good leg across the other ankle and then cinched up a figure four on the ring post.

Jack immediately registered the pain as the ref counted. After several warnings the masked Avatar still hadn’t broken the hold, so the ref came out and untangles all the limbs from the ring post. This started an argument between the Masked Avatar and the ref. Jack tried to slide away, but his opponent spotted him, and reached in to grab both legs, he pulled Jack closer to the post, but at the same time, Jack pulled his legs in quickly, causing the Masked Avatar to crack his head on the corner post.

Both men were slow to get up, though Jack was the first to stand. He spotted the Masked Avatar on his hands and knees outside of the ring and began to climb the turnbuckle in the corner when suddenly his leg gave out, and he tumbled over the ropes and landed awkwardly next to his opponent. The ref began the count over again as the Masked Avatar crawled closer and punched Jack in the face. Jack began to block the punches however, and the Masked Avatar finally noticed the count, and stood to go back inside the ring.

Jack reached up and grabbed him and pulled him backwards to the floor again. Jack then tried to stand and beat the count but his uncle grape vined his injured leg and kept him from moving forward. Finally, the ref counted to ten and signaled for the bell. Neither man made it inside the ring in time.

Winner: Draw via double Count Out
Rating: B-

After the bell sounded the Ref went and separated the Masked Avatar from Jack and stood between them. Jack uttered a few pointed words towards his uncle before turning around and walking to the locker room.

GWA World Title Tournament Final Match:

Steve Flash
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/SteveFlash_alt1.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7A2acBVENA
vs.

Eisaku Hoshino
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/EisakuHoshino.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwhcioQ0luY&feature=related

The match began with a collar and elbow tie up. Eisaku pushed Steve back into the ropes. When they broke the tie up, Steve hit his opponent with a cheap shot, then grabbed his arm and Irish whipped him into the opposite side of the ring. Steve followed with a running clothesline, but Eisaku ducked. They both were then running into the ropes, and when they met in the center of the ring, Steve leaped frogged the Japanese wrestler and continued building his momentum into the ropes. Eisaku hit the ropes then turned forty five degrees and ran into those ropes, the two wrestlers now criss crossed each other once before Steve tried hitting Eisaku with a flying forearm.

Eisaku ducked, however, and Steve was soon being kicked as he tried to stand. Eisaku eventually plastered Steve with a hellacious kick to the back that reverberated throughtout the arena like a gunshot. Eisaku then grabbed Steve, hoisted him up, and performed a tombstone piledriver. He went for the pin.

ONE
TWO

Steve kicked out at two. Eisaku then pulled him up and shot him into a corner. Eisaku ran after Steve and ducked down for a body tackle but Steve pulled himself up causing Eisaku to run through the ropes and into the corner post. He then slid from the second rope out on to the arena floor. Steve took a few moments to recover before he climbed the turnbuckle and leaped off. He landed with his legs on Eisaku’s shoulders, where Steve then twisted his upper body backwards and performed a Hurricanrana on his opponent.

Steve then picked up Eisaku and whipped him into a guardrail. He then started punching Hoshino, but Hoshino began to chop Steve in reply. Steve retreated back into the ring, where Eisaku followed, but was met with a knee drop to the back of his head once he was inside. Steve followed that with a reverse neck breaker and climbed to the top rope to deliver a flying leg drop directly on to Eisaku’s throat. He then covered him.

ONE
TWO

Eisaku broke the count by pressing Steve off of him. He quickly stood and began shouting loudly in Japanese. Steve tried to kick him in the abdomen, but Eisaku caught his opponent’s foot, and then spun Steve around and struck him with a short arm clothesline. Eisaku then pulled Steve up by his hair, but was poked in an eye for his trouble. Steve then grabbed the back of Eisaku’s head and pulled downward as brought both of his knees up into Eisaku’s face. Steve then followed that with a belly to belly suplex and again went for the pin.

ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF.

Eisaku kicked out, and Steve argued with the ref that the count was too slow. Steve then applied a chinlock on Eisaku, who soon powered out of it. With both men standing, the two began to exchange punches. Eisaku began to block many of Steve’s strikes, so Steve went for a kick, which Eisaku again caught. This time however, Steve leapt into the air and attempted an Enznguri, which Eisaku ducked while holding on to Steve’s leg.

Steve was now on his stomach, and Eisaku wrapped his arms around Steve’s leg and placed him in an ankle breaker submission. Steve pounded the mat in pain, and tried desperately to reach the ropes. Eisaku simply pulled him closer to the center of the ring. Steve then lifted himself up and struck Eisaku with a mule kick. Eisaku did not release the hold, but he did stand, which allowed Steve to roll under and grab his opponent’s legs and pull him to the mat in a pinning predicament.

ONE
TWO

Eisaku powered out, and as both men stood, Eisaku struck Steve in the face with a crescent kick. He then followed that with a DDT. Up once again, he made his way to the corner, where he perched, waiting for Steve to stand.

Meanwhile, at the top of the ramp, Jack Griffith and the Masked Avatar began to run towards the ring, but myself and Jack Avatar caught up with them and we began to brawl.
At that point, Steve was back standing up, when Eisaku jumped from the top turnbuckle and smashed him with a double axe handle.

With the ref facing us trying to order us from ringside, no one saw Charles Avatar leap from the crowd, least of all Eisaku Hoshino, who had just signaled for his finisher.
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/CharlesAvatar.jpg

Eisaku did see Charles once he had Steve in position, but only paused for a moment.

That was too long, Steve spun around Eisaku and pushed him towards Charles, where both men collided. Steve then grabbed Eisaku and rolled him up just as the ref turned to see the pin attempt.

ONE
TWO
THREE

The GWA had just crowned its very first World Champion.

Winner: Steve Flash via roll up
Rating: B

Segment 5:

An angry Eisaku Hoshino chased Charles Avatar from out into the crowd. Stunned, my brother and I could only watch from outside the ring as Steve Flash celebrated with his friends and his slightly used World Title belt.
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/DAVE_Unified.jpg

Eventually the Masked Avatar was given a microphone.
http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/TheMaskedAvatar.jpg

“Well, it looks like you two snot nosed punks thought you could stop us, but just when you think you’ve got the answers, we go and change the questions. You may have all the fans and most of the wrestlers in the back singing your praises, but not us. Respect is a two way street, and it isn’t just doled out cheaply; it has to be taken. You remember that, for the next time you try to cross the Hardliners.”

And with that, Jack and I turned around and left.

Rating: C-

Backstage:

Most of the crew had already gone, but I made sure to thank everyone else who stayed behind. As everyone else filed out, I caught myself wishing that my father had been there, but he had business elsewhere. Still, all in all, things ran smoothly enough without him. Maybe I could do this without him.

And that is when Roz Larren walked up.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/RozLarren.jpg

“What’s wrong Roz?”

“I saw that Ninja guy Fumihiro near my bags earlier and, well, I think he stole my underwear!”

The Big Bang Final Rating: C+

Antithesis · December 2, 2009

It was a week after our first show, and Kate and Jack were both in my office.

“Listen to me, I will say it slowly if I have to. I AM NOT LOSING TO ALICIA STRONG!”

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Female%20Wrestlers/KateAvatar.jpg

My sister Kate would not back down about her upcoming match. My brother Jack was quiet for a moment before trying a new tact.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/JackAvatar.jpg

“Why though? Can you at least tell us the reason?”

Kate got up from her chair and began pacing around the room before answering. “I just hate the way she looks down on people. And despite the fact that she hasn’t paid her dues yet, because of her Dad, she thinks she deserves all this adoration, when in fact she isn’t all that great of wrestler. At least yet anyway.”

I looked my sister in the eye. “The girl trained in Japan and is one of the top female workers in the world today. This isn’t about all that. This has to do with what she said about Corrine and Viv, doesn’t it?”

She nodded and I left it at that. I loved my sister dearly, but she could be thick headed at times. Of course, thinking back, maybe that was a trait we shared. “Alright,” I told her, “we’ll back your play, whatever you decide. Just if it comes down to it, try not to hurt the girl too badly.”

Kate smiled and sat back down. That was one crisis taken care of. I began to move on to the next one when someone knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

In walked a rather unkempt looking fellow carrying a large box and a clipboard.

“Got a delivery here for Mr. Jake Avatar.”

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/WeirdWaldoOdlaw.jpg

“That would be me.”

“Okay just sign right here and its all yours.”

I signed the paperwork and, noticing the shipping address, wasted no time in opening the box. “Jack, Kate, come look at these.”

Inside were all the belts I had ordered.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/GWA_World.jpg

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/GWA_Tag.jpg

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/GWAContinental.jpg

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/GWATV.jpg

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/GWA_Cruiser.jpg

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/GenericWomens.jpg

Among those was an extra one, with a note attached explaining it was a gift for the delay.

http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af61/GateControlTheory/Belts/GWAGlobal.jpg

“Wow, they all look great. That ReapeR guy knows his craft.” Jack was already trying on the World title belt.

“Well here is our very own Women’s belt. I’ll give the USPW belt back to Alicia after- hey, why are you still here?”

The man smiled. “Oh, don’t mind me. The electroshock didn’t get rid of all the paranoia. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t delivering any bombs or anything. Say are you running some kind of fight promotion here?”

“It’s a professional wrestling company, now if you don’t mind-”

“Professional wrestling? Pfft. That fake stuff? Back in the day I was a professional Cage fighter. Fought all the greats. Fezzik, Cabal, Ivanov, Even went the distance with James Foster. At least, that’s what I remember when I’m on my medication.”

“Sorry, but you are way out of line, coming in here and insulting what I do for a living. Now leave.” I went to grab him by the arm.

Kate told me, when I woke up later, that as soon as I touched him the man leaped into the air, wrapped his legs around me and choked me unconscious instantly with something called a standing triangle choke.

Impressed, I backed away when I saw the man was still in the room, crying.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s the third time that’s happened this week. Now I am gonna lose my job for sure. I need the doctors to increase my dosage again…”

He trailed off as I considered how I would get this mad man out of my office. And then it hit me. Every great promoter throughout history, they all shared certain things. Great bookers, incredible workers, and at least one true blue locker room enforcer to keep everyone in line.

After I could breathe regularly again, I went up to the delivery man and patted him on the shoulder. “There there. Its okay. Tell you what, would you like to have a job, working for me?”

The man stopped crying and looked up at me. I could feel Kate and Jack burning a hole in my back with their stares as well.

“R-really?”

“Absolutely. Look, you may think what we do is fake, but there is always need for someone to enforce discipline in the locker room. I think you are the man for the job. What’s your name?”

“Waldo Odlaw sir. And thank you!”

“Waldo ‘The Shooter’ Odlaw. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Behind me I heard Jack ask Kate, “Does this world title belt make my hips look fat?”

djthefunkchris · December 2, 2009

First, let me compliment you on your writing. Your a great writer, and reading your stories is humorous, and to tell the truth, hard to stop reading (can't wait to here what happens next). Bassically, your top notch in my book. I just want to make that clear.

Anti, I'm going to say some things that are meant to be taken lightly, and not to be taken as an insult.

The only concern I have is how "racy" some of your content is. There are children that read these diary's here, and I just think some of your content might be a bit much. I ask you to keep in mind that there are a number of kids on these forums 14 and younger.

Again, I want to make it clear that I absolutely love reading your diary, and I definately can't wait for the next installment. I don't want to come off the wrong way.

DreamGoddessLindsey · December 2, 2009

I'm loving all of it! Don't change a thing! It's freaking hilarious!

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