DOA: The Evolution of GREED

[BHK1978]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

I like Apupunchau@optonline's logic, I see Flash be taken out by the mystery attacker. However, I see El Dragon Dorado winning this one.

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

 

I see MM being pushed right now and FF being a background tag team.

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

 

I will go with the majority (not the Moral Majority mind you), I see Roy not understanding the rules and refusing to break a hold again.

 

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

This makes the most sense to me, as you seem to be pushing him as the Bryan Holmes of this diary (i.e. the main Heel).

[Eisen-verse]

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3rd Week of May 2010

 

 

Greetings fellow Wrestling Fanatics!

 

There’s nothing better than an aged Wrestling Legend with a vendetta against all that is his junior; Well, then again, the smell of laundry detergent coming from the basement as my mom does laundry could, quite possibly, rival the first. (Yes, get over it. I live with my mom. Who says you can’t still live with your mom at 42? I mean, free rent… Food every night… Bubble-baths and story time with the lady who brought you into this world? That sounds like heaven to me. Heaven… You got it? So lay off with the nasty emails.)

 

As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by your judging stairs… Ah yes, There is NOTHING better (outside ‘sweet-ass’ laundry skills) than a senile wrestling star who seems to hate everything about “the current state of Pro Wrestling”. If you share the same fuzzy, warm feelings, of watching a man 3 times your age mouth-off about how the “Times are ‘a’ changing”; then you’ll be in for a treat today!!

 

Sam Strong, the man we all knew and came to love in the 80’s and 90’s, has now slowly begun his descent into utter senility with his “Damn these kids and their YouPods and Itube” rant earlier this week to TotalExtremeWrestling.com. In a rage-filled misfiring of facts, Mr. Strong has; once again, continued his assault on the “Next-Gen” styling’s of the underground Arcadia Network promotion, Deadly Overloaded Action. His tone reeks of a man filling his depends with the utter hatred of the , inevitable, evolution of the “sport” he came to master in the last 20-30 years. Today, along with a few news and notes, we focus on Mr. Sam “Sassy-Pants” Strong’s comments in the only way we know how… Shooting them down, and stripping them of any sense of credibility; All in the name of making ourselves feel like we know everything about the very “sport” Sam once carried on his shoulders.

 

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Sam stated, and I quote, “A TV Network knows nothing about Pro Wrestling. Nothing about creating a quality wrestling show from top to bottom. What they’re doing in ‘Hollywood’ is creating the industry’s destruction with action that only speaks to those who have a 30 second attention span. That’s not wrestling. Pro Wrestling shouldn’t be a ‘side-show’ for some greedy network looking to make a cheap buck off of great tradition.”

 

Sam also stated, after hearing the fact that John Greed was in control of creative over the Network as a whole, and I quote, “Who the hell is John Greed? Isn’t he the blubbering fool who wound up in rehab a couple times after his ‘poor little knee’ broke? The guy doesn’t know the first thing about creating a wrestling show. I guess, for that sake, he goes hand in hand with a stupid project like this.”

 

Finally, Sam stated, and I quote, “Their roster is full of a bunch of nobodies. Do they really expect to ‘start a wave of evolution’ with a bunch of guys who don’t know how to tie their own shoes let alone carry a show? I’ll be the first to line up in support of Wrestling; however, what they’re doing is not wrestling… It’s ‘Hollywood’ theatrics. A bunch of half-baked, cappuccino-loving, liberals who think their ability to formulate a reality show about jumping off of things makes them a credible source of Pro Wrestling entertainment. Please…”

 

As you can see, It appears that the DOA has pushed lil’ Sammy into a dark, dark, place; As he attempts to hold onto the good ole’ days with his verbal attack of their faster-paced product. What’s wrong, Samantha? Are you afraid that your company will be forced to change with the times if the DOA does actually succeed in their ‘revolution’? Would you rather put on the same “slow as molasses” action and call it a “throwback”? When in reality, It’s just a sign that YOU, You sir… Don’t know the first thing about creating a quality TV show week in and week out. But, It’s just easier to attack others now, isn’t it? (I’m not being hypocritical here as I know “The Truth”. That’s right, I’m all knowing… So says my pen-pall from Russia. Well, his English isn’t that great so it could have been that he says “I speak of things I believe are true when they really are not”, but, what does he know anyways? He’s a stupid Commie! That’s right, I said it… “Cold War” it up b*tches!)

 

To you, Samalamading-dong, I say this… If you don’t like the freight train that’s speeding toward you then move out of the way. (how’s that for a metaphor? That’s right… I just stimulated your minds! Now, stop your emails saying that I can’t speak in a coherent sentence. I’m smart, Damnit!! I went to 3 days of community college back when I was 35. My teacher said that I was, and I quote, “A special man with a mouth that could speak”. How’s that for not having the ability to put my 2 cents in on things? I’m special!! My mom tells me that every night before bed! “Bubba, You’re special…. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that your greasy man-boobs are disgusting. I made those man-boobs and I’m proud of them!”)

 

Now, for my quick news and notes, Waaaaaaah-la!!!

(Dangling my sorcerers wand in the air)

 

+ Did you see Runaway Train attempt a top rope move this week on SupremeTV? Whoa, big daddy… the amount of energy it took for you to climb up to the top rope was eerily familiar to the feeling I have when trying to conquer an ice cream cone in one sitting. Believe me, If you go too far then you may just as well call it an early retirement. CHUGGA-CHUGGA-CHOOO CHOOO!!

 

+ Totally Supreme, on the DOA, is simply brilliant… BUT, I would have added more c*ck jokes. Why? “Tricky Dick”? I mean, come on…. That’s like dangling a sandwich in front of Avalanche. If you want to keep that finger, You better find a way to throw food in his direction.

 

+ What ever happened to incest angles in Pro Wrestling?… I’m just saying…

 

+ To those of you who say I have no real understanding of how Pro Wrestling works, I was told by THE Kentucky Bill via email (after I sent some respectful pictures to him last week with a note attached about all my hopes and dreams) to, and I quote, “F*ck off you psycho.”. You see, what he implied with his response was… “Bubba, You’re so wise… and dashing… And you smell amazing; Like a warm taco left in the backseat of a hot summer day… Please, Teach me of your ways. With your knowledge, and amazing set of hips, I would be on top of the SWF in no time.”. In a public response to Kentucky Bill, I say… “Wow, I’m flattered. However, sadly for you, I don’t give away my insight for free. Unless you count my blog. So, I guess I do give away my insight for Free. In that case, I LOVE YOU KENTUCKY BILL!!!! Please reply to my last haiku that I sent you…”

 

 

 

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"Rapid Assault" Quick Picks

 

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Acid vs. [insert Winner from Match #1]

[Guest TDubTNA]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

I hope Johnny wins here. I think he could be a future star.

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

I think The Moral Majority are in for a decent push so i expect a win here.

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

I'm big on Cannonball but I don't see him winning here.

 

Acid vs. [insert Winner from Match #1]

As much as I want Johnny to beat Acid in the title match I see Acid getting the upper hand here and having someone chase for the title from the main heel

[Midnightnick]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Acid vs. [insert Winner from Match #1]

[smurphy1014]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

 

Acid vs. Steve Flash

[Dragonmack]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

Although Vicious could win, Dragon Dorado has the momentum.

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

If they are going to a driving force, they need to win

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

I'm sensing a losing streak leading to a meltdown for Edison.

 

Acid vs. [insert Winner from Match #1]

Dragon Dorado is the fresher matchup, but Acid wins as he is the fresher man in the match. I suspect some shenanigans from Eric Tyler as well.

[Bigpapa42]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

[ShadowedFlames]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

Acid is just TOO OBVIOUS a guess for the main event. Basically, I have him losing to whomever wins the opening match, but I think Dorado has the inside track.

[critical-23]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

I will go with the majority: momentum, momemntum, momentum!

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Extremist views on the Archadia network = win.

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Edison has been a huge letdown, IMO, and Funk is by far one of my favs so doggone early in this promotion.

 

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

Acid is being covered by Tyler. That's all I need to make this decision.

[SWF Fan]

Holy sh*t, Sam Cannonball is Cannonball Funk, I thought it was Grandmaster Phunk

 

I've even been using his picture as an alt for Phunk, wow I'm embaressed as to how I missed that one

 

Great read so far man

[Eisen-verse]

Holy sh*t, Sam Cannonball is Cannonball Funk, I thought it was Grandmaster Phunk

 

I've even been using his picture as an alt for Phunk, wow I'm embaressed as to how I missed that one

 

Great read so far man

 

HA! I thought that may have happened to some as "Cannonball Funk" is pretty close in name to the Grandmasta. That being said, I was fortunate to grab an alt for cannonball from jhd1 (an amazing artist)! So, no worries on missing that one!

 

Also, Thank you for the "nod". I really appreciate it, SWF Fan.

[CZCW]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

Steve Flash wins a hard fought battle. It really could go any way in this match though. I just can't vote against "the Remarkable" one.

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

You are focusing on MM a little more then Feline Fancy so its easy to see who will pick up the win. I really like Feline Fancy though as they are CZCW lifers! Its hard to vote against them.

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Funk is a lot of fun but there is no way he will beat Edison again.

 

Acid vs. Steve Flash

Acid wins the DOA title when the "mystery attacker" makes himself known by attacking Steve Flash in the closing minutes.

 

 

 

I'm thuroughly enjoying your depiction of a TNA'esque company in the Cornellverse. Well TNA in its best form as you haven't muddled your main event with hasbeens gripping on one last hope for fame. LMAO. Keep up the great writing! Im looking forward to your next show.

[Eisen-verse]

I'm throughly enjoying your depiction of a TNA'esque company in the Cornellverse. Well TNA in its best form as you haven't muddled your main event with has beens gripping on one last hope for fame. LMAO. Keep up the great writing! Im looking forward to your next show.

 

There won't be much for "has-beens" in the DOA, luckily, as my owner goals make it pretty much impossible to do so. hah. (Can't hire anyone over 38 I do believe; Season II may look a little different than Season I none the less). However, with that being said, I definitely do see the TNA-like look to the DOA. To be honest, in my mind, it's kind of a fusion of TNA (Especially it's X-Division) and that of WSX.

 

Fast-paced, hard-hitting, seamless chain wrestling action all wrapped in deep, adult-content based, storylines looking to capitalize on an 18-35 male demographic. That's pretty much the DOA wrapped into a nutshell right there. Still with me? haha. jk.

 

The Death-Defying Duo Championships, also, bring a sense of lucha-libre to the DOA as the division utilizes a "no need for a tag" format. Instead, if the legal man jumps out of the ring... His partner is allowed to take his place. This makes for even more seamless action... Creating a never-ending phase of continuous combat. Something that I find very intriguing as a wrestling fan!

 

I guess that's why I love the DOA so much as it's truthfully... The kind of wrestling I would LOVE to watch. From top to bottom. From the characters, to the in-ring style, to the Death-Defying Duo Division, to the storyline focus, to the more adult-based sequences. Overall, it's the exact kind of product I would want to watch on a weekly basis.

 

[SWF Fan]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

The Man's on a roll right now!

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Bad guys looking to do right, the wrong way....sounds perfect

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Cannonball? Grandmasta? Randy Savage? I'm so confused right now, all I know is it'll be a travesty if you put that joke Roy Edison over Funk man, word up *begins to dance*

 

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

Just seems he's got the best chance of winning when you seem to be on the 'bosses' side in Eric Tyler

[BYU 14]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

I want to pick Flash, but don't see it.

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

TMM getting the bigger push

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Funk could win as Edison seems down, but I this could be a good bounce back match for him.

 

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

Acid is the clear favorite IMO

[foolinc]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

Acid vs. [insert Winner from Match #1]

[Tigerkinney]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

Dragon does seem to be the one with the most momentum.

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

 

Moral Majority seem in line for the stronger push right now

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

 

Despite Funk's reservations with his 'comedy' gimmick he is getting a pretty strong push right now. In time Edison will become a force in DOA but right now he seems to be lumbered with a sort of frustration gimmick.

 

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

Most people seem to be going for Acid to win here, but i'll back up what Shadowed Flames said, that it seems a little too obvious, so I see Dragon pulling out the win here to be crowned the first champion.

[jhd1]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

Dragon does seem to be the one with the most momentum.

 

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

 

Moral Majority seem in line for the stronger push right now

 

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

 

Despite Funk's reservations with his 'comedy' gimmick he is getting a pretty strong push right now. In time Edison will become a force in DOA but right now he seems to be lumbered with a sort of frustration gimmick.

 

Acid vs. El Dragón Dorado

 

Most people seem to be going for Acid to win here, but i'll back up what Shadowed Flames said, that it seems a little too obvious, so I see Dragon pulling out the win here to be crowned the first champion.

 

I'm going to have to agree with Tigerkinney's predictions, seems a bit pointless me writing them out again. Can't wait for the next show!

[Rayelek]

Steve Flash vs. Johnny Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

-Acid represents Eric Tyler, so the question becomes "Who best represents DOA?" and I think that's Johnny Vicious

The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

-I really like Th Moral Majority from a mark point of view.

Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

-Easily the hardest one to call. I'm going with a draw to stretch this out to the first big event.

Acid vs. Johnny Vicious

-Johnny's not gonna get the nod over Acid, to my chagrin.

[Eisen-verse]

-I really like Th Moral Majority from a mark point of view.

 

That's great to hear, Rayelek. "The Moral Majority" was an idea I created during my PSW diary; however, never really had a chance to push it forward since I ended it just as Christian Wright debuted. So, needless to say, I'm really excited to give them their "wings" here in the DOA.

 

That being said, It's not a given that they will win against Feline Fancy though so no one should read into that statement too much. For me, in Pro wrestling, sometimes the greatest characters don't always need to win week in and week out. Why? Their personas make them interesting enough that wins and losses don't always mean so much. (ie: see Alastor in my PSW diary).

 

All in all, I'm about half way done writing the 3rd Episode of "Rapid Assault" & it's shaping up to be an amazing development thus far. I would go on to say, possibly, the greatest show I've ever put together from top to bottom. Nothing like some good pressure. ha.

 

It should be up on Wednesday at the latest, Monday Night at the earliest.

 

Cheers.

 

[Eisen-verse]

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Episode #3

Title: "… The Vicious Climb … "

 

 

 

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Acid, Steve Flash, Johnny Vicious, and El Dragón Dorado

… Opening Video - “Last Week on DOA Rapid Assault” …

 

[An overly stimulating video opens this weeks broadcast of DOA “Rapid Assault” with the overriding tone that tonight’s action will almost certainly rip the “Dungeon” to “shreds” due to all that will happen within its walls. The visuals themselves literally show the arena falling to pieces (obviously computed generated) as we are treated to previous footage from tonight’s “big players”: Acid, Steve Flash, Johnny Vicious, and El Dragón Dorado. Dust, debris, and massive slabs of crumbling concrete encompass the screen as these men are profiled as potentially Historic members of the initial DOA Cast; One of these 4 competitors are only an hour away from being declared the FIRST EVER DOA Champion.]

 

[With that said, The video comes to an Armageddon-like ending as nothing is visible on the screen other than the image of the DOA Championship itself. Its golden plates glistening as if it were uncovered treasure; Lost to the masses as a testament to a fallen society.]

 

[With a sense of grandeur laced within the moment, DOA “Rapid Assault” finally kicks into full gear as we transition from a pre-produced hype video into the sight of a truly ruckus “Dungeon” audience; Awaiting the moment at hand.]

 

Grade: D

 

Davis Detterich: Hello everybod-ay and WELCOME to DOA “R-r-r-rapid Assault”! I’m Davis Detterich, along side my partner in crime John Greed, and we’ve got one hell of a show planned for you here tonight!

John Greed: That’s right, Davis. Tonight is shaping up to be THE most Historic Night in the DOA’s short history as we will crown our FIRST EVER DOA Champion here, tonight, in THAT very ring! Now, that’s a pretty damn good reason to stay locked on Arcadia for the next hour!

[Laughter follows from John; However, more of a laugh built upon realizing the truth behind something vs. humor]

Davis Detterich: Who has the “goods”… The Drive, the determination, to stand above the rest and claim the “top prize” in the DOA? Who will forever have his name cemented in the books of Pro Wrestling history? Taking their rightful place as the “Cornerstone” of Deadly Overloaded Action as we forge into a new era of underground combat? Will it be the “Voice of Reason’s” top choice in a Champion, Acid? Or it will be one of the there men competing in tonight’s opening bout… Steve Flash, Johnny Vicious, or El Dragón Dorado? We will ALL find the final outcome here… tonight… on DOA “Rapid Assault”!

John Greed: Enough from us; though, as these three competitors are wasting NO TIME in sealing their fate. [slight Pause from John] The time has come… Grab your drinks and kick back because a war of epic proportions is officially underway here in the DOA “Dungeon”!

 

 

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Steve Flash vs. Johnny “The Blazing Red Demon” Vicious vs. El Dragón Dorado

Triple-Threat Match

Winner will challenge for the DOA Championship against Acid; Later TONIGHT!

 

There is a heavy sense of grandeur hovering above the squared circle as these three men stair each other down. All three of them focused on the task at hand & each and every one of them knowing that this very match could change the course of their careers here in the DOA. Needless to say, no one was truly shocked when all three competitors converged violently in the middle of the ring. Not waiting for the bell to officially signify the start of the match; instead, looking to gain any sense of an upper hand before their opponents do so.

 

While the beginning of the match carries more of a “bar-room-brawl” mentality to it, each cast-member resorting to more of a primal reaction to the task at hand, the frenzied action slowly begins to gravitate toward what you would typically expect from a DOA bout; Fluidity, Chain-Wrestling spots, and a seamless back-and-forth combo-based combat style. In other bouts, One person would typically stand above the rest & appear to have mastered this style of attack (Ultimately looking like a dominating presence in the match)… This Triple-Threat altercation brings forth the true example of what industry veterans describe as “Open Wrestling”. Each cast-member looks to be the others equal as neither Flash, Vicious, nor Dorado really separate themselves from “the pack”.

 

There is no sense of toying around with their opponents. No glitzy showmanship maneuvers to wow the crowd. Instead, all three competitors use each and every maneuver as a calculating approach to victory. Pinfalls often follow any major spot and a smattering of “Flash Pinfall” attempts make their presence known pretty early on as well. In the end; however, no attempts prove to be successful as the outside competitor always finds a way to break Eugene William’s three count half way through. Despite the typical unsuccessful outcome for each of these pinfalls; though, there is no lack of victory attempts as it’s very obvious all three of these men want this victory badly.

 

The winds of change abruptly rears its ugly head; however, toward the end of the match as a the highly competitive back-and-forth combat style is quickly null-and-voided by a vengeance-inspired interference from a debuting DOA cast member.

 

As Steve Flash attempts a belly-to-back suplex into a bridge pinfall upon El Dragón Dorado…

 

… The lights shockingly go completely out …

 

The unsettling presence of complete darkness quickly heightens a fear response from “Dungeon”-goers as the loud sound of heavy thuds resonate from within the squared circle. While sound-stage-D has only plummeted into complete darkness for a matter of 12 seconds, It was enough time for a heavy dosage of carnage to take place. When the lights restore their gleaming capabilities, We are all witness to the sight of the debuting, Teddy Powell.

 

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Teddy Powell

… “Redeem Thee” …

 

Teddy Powell, unlike we have ever seen him before, stands motionlessly above a fallen Steve Flash. His feet perfectly on either side of Flash’s head as the menacing lightweight stairs down upon his prey. Those within the “Dungeon” walls instantly fill the room with a heavy chorus of boo’s; A fact that seemingly does not break Powell from his trance-like stair upon the “Remarkable One”. El Dragón Dorado, watching what has just unfolded and feeling the scenario tugging on his natural “Hero” complex, quickly ascends upon the situation at hand. His mannerisms appear to tell the story that Dorado is only a few seconds away from laying out Teddy for actions, When all of a sudden…

 

… The lights shockingly go completely out; yet again …

 

This time, The sight of a large letter “R” surrounded by a circle (ie: ®) is seen shining down from the rafters of the DOA “Dungeon”; Seen smack-dab in the middle of the squared circle. The unsettling sight reminds us all that Flash’s attacker last week on “Rapid Assault” left the very same mark on Flash’s body; A calling card if you will.

 

The second state of darkness only lasts for a matter of 8 seconds or so; however, once the lights are once again restored… Teddy Powell is nowhere to be seen. Instead, Steve Flash is still seen motionless on the canvas below & El Dragón Dorado appears to be quite confused as to what just happened. This fact opens up the opportunity for Johnny Vicious, who was recovering outside of the ring during Powell’s attack on Steve Flash, to quickly return to the squared circle… Landing his signature “Blunt Force Trauma” (Running Leaping Superkick) square upon the jaw of an unsuspecting Dorado.

 

With both Steve Flash, and now El Dragón Dorado out cold, there was no breaking Vicious’s pinfall attempt. Instead, the “Blazing Red Demon” finds himself as the newly minted 2nd competitor in tonight’s Main Event.

 

Johnny Vicious defeats Steve Flash and El Dragón Dorado in 7:56 via a “Blunt Force Trauma” (Running Leaping Superkick) upon El Dragón Dorado. Vicious will compete against Acid, Tonight, for the DOA Championship with said victory.

Grade: C

 

Davis Detterich: JOHNNY VICIOUS!! JOHNNY VICIOUS IS GOING TO THE MAIN EVENT TO VIA FOR THE DOA CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

John Greed: With a little help from Teddy Powell; mind you… [Pauses] Either way, though, the “Blazing Red Demon” finds himself in the position to potentially walk out of here as the FIRST EVER DOA Champion! Regardless of how you win a match, It all comes down to wins and losses… And right here, right now, Vicious has just walked away with one of THE biggest victories of his career!

Davis Detterich: I’m not sure if the DOA “Dungeon” is sturdy enough to take on such a Main Event! [Laughs] These two men are certainly going to pull out all the stops… There’s no betting against that. [slight Pause to regain his composure] There’s a good chance that this arena may be torn apart, piece by piece, as Acid and Johnny Vicious rage within these walls tonight!

John Greed: All I can say is tonight is an absolute powder keg waiting to blow! [Laughs] I can’t wait for the Main Event…

 

 

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”The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler and Acid

… “This is your enemy. This is your nemesis” …

 

[shortly following Johnny Vicious’s career-shifting victory, as he literally stands in the middle of the ring having his right arm raised by Eugene Williams, we cut to a new segment coiled within the last. Here stands the DOA’s “Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler alongside his personal roster addition, Acid, as they stand inches from a closed feed broadcasting of what is taking place within the ringside area of “The Dungeon”. The environment appears to be that of a dreary, dimly lit, industrial room of some sort; Almost as if they occupying the building’s boiler room. The overall tone brought forth by such a menacing space appears to be a common theme for Acid as the DOA feverishly attempts to portray his animalistic persona in a way where he is seen as devilish figure. “Not like any of us; Not Human”.]

 

[With the camera man positioned a few feet behind both men, Mr. Tyler perpetuates the image that he is an “Army General”; Creating a battle-plan of sort as he aggressively paces back and forth. His eyes focused on the ground before him, his mind wrapped in the scenario at hand, as his steady baritone voice grows with intensity after every phrase. Meanwhile, his muse; Acid, stands before the closed-circuit TV. His body aggressively rising, and falling, with each and every breath as the uncomfortable sounds of a predatory snarl is heard roaring from within his mask.]

 

”The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler: The time has come, Acid. [Pauses as he paces] There are no more obstacles to climb, no more hoops to jump through. It literally comes down to tonight.

 

[Mr. Tyler continues to militaristically pace back and forth as Acid’s body continues to rise and fall with each and every breathe. His body, seemingly, acting as if he were a wolverine on the verge of battle.]

 

”The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler: And he… [stops and points to the closed circuit-TV] is the ONLY thing that lies between you… and the DOA Championship.

 

[An unsettling, high-pitched, growl of sort is heard from Acid.]

 

”The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler: This man… [brief Pause] This man is nothing more than your mortal enemy. [Pauses] Your eternal nemesis. [Pauses] Your never-ending equal. [Pauses again] You have defeated him before and there is NO DOUBT in my mind that you can do it again. However, it won’t be easy…

 

[Mr. Tyler continues his pacing as Acid appears to be growing even greater with intensity]

 

”The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler: His fighting style is wrapped in brutality, his gaze screams of an inner-hatred of all, and his demeanor is that of a “caged animal looking to sink its fangs into the first thing that dare cross him”. He is, quite possibly, the ONLY… thing… that could ever stand up to you. Toe to toe; nose to nose.

 

[Mr. Tyler stops his insistent pacing. Now, staring straight into the beady eyes of his former DaVE counterpart. His tone, Mr. Tyler‘s, looks to be at an all-time high as his intense-nature appears to be on the same level as Acid‘s.]

 

”The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler: Despite all of this, You will NOT lose to Johnny Vicious. You will NOT let me down. I brought you here for one reason, and one reason only, and that’s to ensure that the DOA Championship would find its way to a worthy champion. [Tyler begins to snarl] Do NOT make me look like fool, Acid. For if you do, I will personally see to it that you are caged, tranquilized, and shipped back to whatever god-forsaken hellhole you came from. Do I make myself clear?

 

[While a typical person would nod, or simply replay with “Yes, sir”; Acid is not your “typical” being. Instead, the hell-spawned warrior releases a powerful roar from the depths of his body. Meanwhile, his arms are dramatically thrown outward at his side in a capital “T” like manor; flexing the entire time. His head thrown backward, screaming to the heavens as if he were on the verge of killing whatever stands before him.]

 

”The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler: Good…

 

[With that, while Acid continues to release his predatory roar, Mr. Tyler slowly forms a devilish smirk upon his face; Almost as if he were the evil incarnate himself.]

 

Grade: D+

 

John Greed: [Laughing] Holy Crap! Have you EVER seen anything like this before? [Laughs] I don’t believe there has EVER been a competitor like Acid. This man is NOT human. Not in the slightest.

Davis Detterich: I hope Mr. Tyler knows what he’s doing. Acid looks, feels, and sounds like something that should be caged at all points. Hell, He should have a trainer at his side at all times. If Mr. Tyler isn’t careful… This “pet-project” of his could ultimately destroy the DOA from the inside out.

John Greed: I guess when you’re desperate to make an impression, You’ll look to the ends of the earth to ensure that NOTHING can stand in your way. While it may be playing with “fire” to have Acid in his corner, Wouldn’t you rather be seemingly on his side than standing across from him as a potential enemy?

Davis Detterich: With someone like Acid, You’re only seconds away from being seen as an enemy in his eyes. He’s not a rational being. He’s a animal who was raised to be a “weapon” from day one.

John Greed: You may be right with that one, Davis. I’ll give you that. In the end, though, whether he revolts against his “master” or not… Mr. Tyler has everything riding on HIS roster addition here tonight!

 

 

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The Moral Majority vs. Feline Fancy

Death-Defying Duo Match [Abide by Divisional Rules]

 

The second match of the night brings a heavy response as those within the DOA “Dungeon” show their utter disgust for the controversial tandem of “The Moral Majority”. Their polarizing, and often hypocritical, actions have quickly formulated a strong hatred for the arrogant young duo. This fact, along with their opponents general ability to be liked for their “gimmicky” demeanors, ultimately places Feline Fancy in the role of a SUPER-FACE pairing; A scenario they fully embrace from the very start.

 

It only took a matter of a few seconds for this bout to go from 0 to 60 and for the most part, The action never really slowed down in the slightest. Instead, the two Duos kept their altercation at an accelerated pace. Perfectly signifying what to expect from a Death-Defying Duo match-up: True, and utter, Chaos!

 

Bodies are seen flying everywhere as a great amount of the action takes place 5 feet above the ring; atop the four turnbuckles positioned around the squared circle. Not necessarily a “spot monkey” kind of mentality, but rather, a fast-paced, high-octane, kind of approach where a simple “tag” is not really needed. Instead, much like Lucha-Libre tag team wrestling, all it takes is removing oneself from within the ring ropes to allow your partner to become the “legal man”.

 

It is this fundamental rule that ultimately aides in the ending of tonight’s Divisional match as “The Moral Majority” swiftly takes control in the closing seconds. Citizen X, executing a stiff slingshot missile drop-kick upon an unsuspecting Fox Mask, quickly dives under the nearest bottom rope following his aerial assault. This opens up the chance for Mainstream Hernandez to quickly ascend the nearest turnbuckle and execute an “awe inspiring” flipping leg drop upon the fallen Fox Mask. The impact, seen as quite forceful, appears to collapse the throat of the masked Feline; creating a great sense of pain upon his face as he grips his throat in the process. In the end, with Masked Cougar subdued by Citizen X‘s outside assault, Mainstream Hernandez is able to arrogantly bask in the glory of a Eugene Williams three count.

 

The Moral Majority defeats Feline Fancy in 4:43 when Mainstream Hernandez successfully executes a top rope flipping leg drop upon Fox Mask.

Grade: C-

 

Davis Detterich: I have to say, I don’t like these guys in the slightest. However, with that being said, You really have to hand it to them here tonight! They looked like a Duo focused on the task at hand. They could, seriously, become a worthy challenger for the DOA Death-Defying Duo Championship if they keep this up.

John Greed: That HAS to eat you up inside to admit that, huh, Davis? [Laughs] You may not agree with their viewpoints. You may simply label them as “extremists”; Zealots if you will. However, these guys are one hell of a tandem together. If I were the Tokyo Express, I would be taking notes about right now. These guys could be the next men in line for your titles; as Davis said.

Davis Detterich: I can be objective, unlike you, John. I don’t like their “holier than thou” mentality BUT I can admit to witnessing talent.

John Greed: Hey! I’m objective… There’s no spin with me…

Davis Detterich: Really? [Laughs] Okay, lets give this a test. What’s your analysis of Steve Flash? A man who has done everything “by-the-book” since he started his career 20 some odd years ago. A true beacon of respect, honor, and pride. What’s your viewpoint on his status as a potential “Living Legend”?

John Greed: [Laughs] Living Legend? Please. Steve Flash is a talent less hack whose only claim to fame is that he NEVER “sold out” in the “Big Leagues”. If you ask me, That just sounds like a guy who didn’t have what it took to make it to the top!

Davis Detterich: Thank you, John. Thank you for proving my point…

John Greed: What!?!?! It‘s the truth…

 

 

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The Moral Majority (Mainstream Hernandez, Citizen X, Prudence, and Grace)

… Celebration Cut Short …

 

[Mainstream Hernandez and Citizen X are joined in the ring by the busty, scantily-clad, and emotionally submissive pairing of Prudence and Grace; shortly following the final bell in tonight’s Death-Defying Duo divisional altercation. However, the controversial tandem finds their attitude shifting quite drastically from absolute euphoria to an utter-state of confusion while their celebration appears to be cut short by the sensually-driven intro of Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow’s DOA theme music.]

 

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Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow

… Confronting an Obsession …

 

[sparrow, slowly strutting his way through the DOA “Dungeon Gateway”, holds an arrogant smirk upon his face as he is seen wearing nothing more than his in-ring attire (a pair of extremely small black leather biker shorts). The very sight of the so-called “Morally Inept” Sparrow sends Citizen X, and Mainstream Hernandez, into an absolute frenzy as Hernandez aggressively demands a microphone to be handed over to him. Meanwhile, Sparrow holds the same arrogant smirk upon his face; winking at Prudence and Grace while looking down upon his own body in a self-promoting kind of manor. This notion, outside of the general destruction of a victorious moment for the “Moral Majority”, pushes Hernandez to verbally assault Sparrow; Even before Sparrow’s music can officially come to an end.]

 

Mainstream Hernandez: Who… the HELL… Do you think you are?! The Gaul for someone like YOU to impede upon our time? What makes YOU think that your presence is wanted by anyone here?

 

[Matty, unfazed by Mainstream’s discriminatory rant, continues to perpetuate the image of a man who stands in complete relaxation. His arrogant smirk, while devilish in its production, creates an endearing trademark to his overly sexualized persona; A truth that is certainly seen with the female portion of the DOA audience. His response, still in the same manor of his entrance, creates a true contrast between two totally different personality traits. (ie: Moral Majority vs. Porn-Star)]

 

Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow: By the looks of your two lovely ladies there… It’s quite easy to see that there’s at least two sets of eyes that are fixated on the GLORY before them.

 

[both, Mainstream Hernandez and Citizen X, become quite enraged by Matty’s first statement as they kick the near by bottom rope before verbally snapping back at both Prudence and Grace.]

 

Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow: The thing is, though, their obsession… their overwhelming sense of lust… Is not un-matched. [Pauses] Hell, from what it seems, you both have something quite in common with your mistresses… And I don’t mean the usage of lacy red thongs to make yourselves feel “pretty”, either.

 

[Again, Matty’s provocative subject matter turns the male portion of “The Moral Majority” into an absolute fit. Meanwhile, Prudence and Grace stand a few feet behind their men; motionless as they look downward upon the canvas. Detached from the world as they’ve been told to only really respond to X and Hernandez.]

 

Mainstream Hernandez: Your devilish tongue is not welcome here, Mathew. How dare you fill the head’s of these children with improper sexual thoughts! You will certainly burn for your choices in life. This I know to be true.

 

Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow: Burn? I haven’t burned while peeing for quite some time now. [Laughs] I got that one fixed. You should look into it… Oh, that’s right. You’re a stuck-up, sexually frustrated, sorry little man with a napoleon complex. So, my guess is, there’s not much… “action”… within the Hernandez household anyways. [Laughs] But AS I was saying… [Pauses] I’ve grown accustom to the ways of the obsessed. There’s no way someone in my industry could not as there are millions of women all over this country… dying… To be with someone the SIZE… of “The Pecker-Wrecker”. [Female’s pop] However, even I, wasn’t expecting this… [shakes his head while laughing]… You naughty little men, you.

 

[Mainstream Hernandez and Citizen X appear to be balancing between absolute hatred and utter confusion at this point. Waiting to hear what Matty Sparrow has to say so that they can ultimately formulate a response.]

 

Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow: I frequented the local “Movies-and-More” shop down the street and came across something… quite… shocking to say the least. [smirks] Here, on any given day, you can find up to a hundred of my greatest… hits. [Laughs] However, at this time right now, one of those movies is currently checked out. The movie… “Anal-busters III”… The person who rented it… A sexually repressed man who practically tore his credit card receipt in half with his signature… [Pauses as he smirks] The likes of a Mr…….. Citizen X!

 

[The DOA audience in attendance fills the “Dungeon” with the sound of laughter as Citizen X’s face turns absolutely white; As if he had seen a ghost. Mainstream Hernandez, expecting it not to be true, shows an outburst of hatred toward Matty; however, that slowly subsides as he spins around and locks his eyes upon his uncomfortable partner. Citizen X, not making eye contact with Mainstream Hernandez, puts his hands in a pair of pretend pockets at his side, whistling and walking away from the situation at hand for a split second.]

 

Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow: Now, I don’t mind the fact that you rented the movie. Hell, it’s a free country & the movie is… quite good. [Laughs] The thing I have a problem with is your overall “SIN is bad” approach. You see, even while you pretend to be holier than thou… There are obvious cracks within your own rhetoric. So… Why try to throw that kind of lifestyle on people when you can’t even follow it yourself? [smirks] But… I’m not one to judge. I am equal opportunist when it comes to… screwing… people over. [Laughs] But lets get this straight boys. If you want to interfere in my matches, make a spectacle of my career choice outside of wrestling, and ultimately condemn me to hell… how about you give me an opportunity to prove myself. Say… Next week in a Death-Defying Duo Division Match?

 

[Matty Sparrow cracks a smirk of confidence as Mainstream Hernandez quickly snaps his head back in the direction of his challenger. Now, trying to remove himself from the situation as well, flashing a smile of his own]

 

Mainstream Hernandez: You? You’re challenging us to a Death-Defying Duo Division match? [Laughs] I knew you were stupid but I didn’t know you also had suicidal tendencies? [Evil Grin] So, let me get this straight… You, and only you, are going to take on both ME… and Citizen X, Next week… Here in the DOA “Dungeon”?

 

Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow: You would like that wouldn’t you? A little 2 on 1 action? [Another statement to piss off “The Moral Majority” as Matty smirks] I have back-up, Don’t you worry. It’ll be a classic 2 on 2 affair…

 

Mainstream Hernandez: You’re OOONNNNNNNNN!!! [Evil Grin] I just hope you bring someone who can carry the weight of your soul, because, Matty… It’s a deadly road to walk alone if you continue down the path you’re on.

 

Matty “The Pecker-Wrecker” Sparrow: Again, don’t you worry you’re little heads. I’ve got someone who can get the JOB done more than enough. [Devilish Laughs] I would say that I’ll see you two next week; however, seeing how the movie you rented is still 3 days overdue… I’m sure you’ll be seeing A LOT of me… tonight…

 

[Matty Sparrow, again, spews forth a sense of devilish laughter as he drops the black DOA microphone onto the ground before him. Meanwhile, Mainstream Hernandez and Citizen X are seen throwing an absolute hissy-fit as their submissive women continue to stair down toward the canvas. All in all, with the vision of their temper tantrum plastered across your TV screen, “Rapid Assault” quickly transitions into a commercial break.]

 

Grade: D+

 

John Greed: Did he really have to disclose Citizen X’s rental history? Isn’t that illegal? I mean… I think it is. Someone should call the cops and have this man arrested!

Davis Detterich: Really, John? Do you really believe that or are you just trying to stick up for your buddies? I mean, disclosing someone’s rental history isn’t a felony in the U.S. You HAVE to know that, Right?

John Greed: I live in a country where privacy is privacy… Sparrow had NO RIGHT disclosing that kind of information. Even if it were a children’s movie. What a punk!

Davis Detterich: [Laughs] Yes, John. He’s a “punk” for letting the world know that Citizen X has a sex-drive.

 

 

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Totally Supreme (Tom Kornell & Dick Eyezen)

… Discovering a broken Jet stream …

 

[We comeback from a short commercial break hyping various upcoming Arcadia productions, To witness the Duo of Tom Kornell and Dick Eyezen slowly shuffling through a backstage hallway in the DOA “Dungeon”. Kornell, decked out in a cheap Armani suit knock-off, is seen shaking his head in disbelief as Dick Eyezen, seen wearing his trademark oxford shirt with no tie, appears to be tackling a hefty issue in his head; At least that’s what we expect due to the amount of focus/frustration on his face.]

 

Tom Kornell: No, Dick. I think you’re missing the mark with this one. [shakes his head, Again, in disbelief] The DOA is a company based upon SMALLER wrestlers… who can actually string together a few moves into what they call… “Chain Wrestling”. There’s no need for, as you call them, [Does Finger Quotes] “Big Uglies”. They simply wouldn’t be able to survive here… [slightly pauses] You need to know your Enemies in and out before you can truthfully wage a war! [Looks to Dick] Does that help… at all? Even in the slightest?

 

[Dick aggressively swings his head back and forth in a “no” kind of manor as Tom‘s face drops, yet again, in complete comedic annoyance of the situation at hand.]

 

Dick Eyezen: I DON’T GET IT… WITH THEIR FLIPPITY-FLOPPITY JUMPING! [Pauses] “BIG UGLIES” MAKE YOU MONEY!! THEY MAKE YOU PEE A LITTLE EVERYTIME THEY’RE ON TV!! THAT’S WHERE THE MONEY IS!!!

 

Tom Kornell: I agree, Dick. Believe me, No one favors the talent less big man like I do! Have you SEEN our weekly programming? My roster consists of a barnyard collection of the massively obese. The extremely untalented. [shakes his head] But here, in the DOA, they like to believe that “high flying action” is more… “with the times”.

 

Dick Eyezen: WITH THE TIMES?!?!? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S WITH THE TIMES… LONG, OVERPLAYED, FEUDS BETWEEN GUYS WHO ARE 10 YEARS PAST THEIR PRIME! THAT’S WHAT’S “WITH THE TIMES”!!

 

Tom Kornell: Amen, Dickster! Amen!

 

[Just then, a loud thud is heard coming from a nearby closet. The sound, while not very loud by any means, jolts Tom Kornell enough to force him into jumping square into Dick’s arms in an overly dramatic showing of fear. Tom, biting his finger nails in anticipation, slowly rolls out of Dick’s arms as the two slowly ascend upon the mysterious closet door.]

 

Dick Eyezen: AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! [He proclaims in excitement] I’VE FINALLY FOUND THE ENTRANCE INTO NARNIA!! [Claps his hands with joy] 20 YEARS OF SEARCHING… THANK YOU “ALL POWEFUL” WRESTLING GODS!!

 

[Dick frantically opens the closet doorway and attempts to dive straight into what he expects to be a portal into “Narnia”; however, much to his sadness, He slams into the back wall of the occupied closet. Occupied by who you may ask? DOA Superstar, Jettstream, is seen laying in a bloody haze at the bottom of the closet. This sight, while shocking to say the least, doesn’t scare Mr. Eyezen very much. Instead, he carries a look of complete sadness upon his face as he slowly back peddles out of the closet; His shoulders slouched and his head c*cked to the side.]

 

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Jettstream

… Left for dead by Johnny Vicious …

 

Dick Eyezen: Damn you, Jettstream, and your portal closing abilities… [Wipes a tear from his eyes] I bet you the powerful Lion leader decided that he was sick of people coming in uninvited. He probably beat up Jettstream and left him at the portal’s gate to teach us all a lesson. Lesson learned, Mr. Lion… Lesson learned.

 

[Tom Kornell watches on in disbelief as Dick Eyezen slowly leans himself up against a nearby wall; Quite depressed over having his lifelong dream taken away from him. Meanwhile, Tom slowly shakes his head in complete confusion over Dick’s “sanity” as he quickly interjects to save his partner from slipping toward a dreary mood shift.]

 

Tom Kornell: Uh, Dick. I’m really sorry that your… [Finger Quotes] “portal”… As you say, has been closed. BUT, my guess is that Jettstream was attacked by Johnny Vicious for screwing him out of a potential victory last week.

 

Dick Eyezen: That’s what the government would like you to believe, Tom. [shakes his head in sadness] They got to you too, I see…

 

[With that, the somewhat useless segment comes to a close as the DOA camera man zooms in on the face of Dick Eyezen on the verge of tears. However, not truly coming to a close until we hear one final statement from the grumpy owner of the “Land of Supreme”. With the camera lens inches from his face, Dick’s eyes lights up as his mood turns drastically.]

 

Dick Eyezen: OOOPS!! ALMOST FORGOT TO TAKE MY BONER PILLS!!

 

[With that, Dick Eyezen reaches in his pocket and pulls out a prescription bottle. Frantically trying to open its top as the camera man zooms out slightly to see Tom Kornell standing inches from his partner with his right hand over his face. Almost as if he were in a realistic moment of, “What the HELL have I gotten myself into?”. With that, the segment comes to a close]

 

Grade: D-

 

[both John and Davis are heard laughing pretty heavily]

Davis Detterich: We’re on the fast track to being sued… [Laughs]

John Greed: What are you talking about? [Laughs] These guys have it spot-on. I swear, every time I see these guys come on the screen, I have to double take. [Laughs] I’m just happy that Mr. Eyezen is finally able to admit to the fact that he takes… Well, as he calls them, “Boner Pills”.

Davis Detterich: We may, with this segment alone, be destroying the respectful fabric of Pro Wrestling.

John Greed: Oh, Davis. That’s our job… [Laughs] To mightily push the boundaries of this trade into the next generation. If that means throwing a few “man-hood” jokes in, then, by all means… I say push on!!

 

 

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Cannonball Funk vs. Roy Edison

No DQ’s Available

 

The tension within the DOA “Dungeon” can certainly be felt as the next match begins to take shape. Roy Edison, a MMA cross-over and all around “obsessively competitive” athlete, appears through the DOA “Dungeon Gateway” all alone. There’s no training team with him this time around. Hell, his demeanor looks to be even more obsessive as his “ice-cold” eyes are fixated on the squared circle before him; In dire need of picking up a victory here in the DOA before feeling as if he has “Failed” in his cross-over attempt from MMA to Pro Wrestling.

 

Meanwhile, Cannonball Funk is presented as a complete contrast from the man he’s been entangled with since the DOA’s inception. Funk, a fun-loving/Larger than Life music performer, is seen gyrating down the entrance ramp on his way to the ringside area. While the fans absolutely love his “over-the-top” “Dungeon” entrance; They are only able to witness a short celebratory dance as his enraged opponent, Roy Edison, quickly ascends upon his victim like a predator hungry for food.

 

The overall match doesn’t last very long; however, the bulk of their exchange is heavily dominated by Mr. Edison. Cannonball Funk, completely over-matched this week, is able to formulate a short stint of offense; However, this quick streak comes to an abrupt end as the Funk-Superstar looks to plaster Edison over the head with a steel chair. As you can guess, His attempt is unsuccessful as the former MMA fighter subdues the shocked Funk with a lightning quick take down; A maneuver that is seen as a precursor to a violently aggressive leg-lock submission from the borderline psychotic competitor.

 

With Edison wrenching backward, delivering a heavy build-up of pressure upon Funk’s right knee, the match appears to be seconds away from a final outcome. However, in a state of absolute fear, Cannonball Funk turns toward a primal instinct… Grabbing the steel chair he had once carried (which was laying next to him) and repeatedly bashing it over the head of his opponent as Edison continues to put pressure on Funk’s knee. In what can only be described as peculiar, Roy never gives up on his submission; A fact that puts him into a deadly position as he is actually knocked out by Funk’s weapon attack following the 6th and final shot over his head.

 

With Edison out cold from repeated shots to the head from an unforgiving steel chair, Cannonball Funk slowly drags his injured right knee behind him; On route to the motionless Edison. With the crowd firmly in his corner, Cannonball Funk dramatically flings his injured body upon his opponent; Receiving a standard three count from DOA referee Eugene Williams. Ultimately, bringing Cannonball Funk’s record against Roy Edison to a shockingly undefeated, 2-0.

 

Cannonball Funk defeats Roy Edison in 5:16 via repeated Steel Chair strikes to Edison’s head.

Grade: D

 

Davis Detterich: FUNK!! FUNK WINS! WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT THAT FUNK WOULD BE 2-0 AGAINST ROY EDISON? ONLY IN THE DOA, FOLKS… [Celebratory Laughter]

John Greed: He had to cheat… Yet again… To pick up the victory though. So, don’t pee your pants too soon, Davis. In their first match-up Funk won only because Edison wouldn’t break his submission hold despite a rope break. NOW, in this match-up, it took a steel chair to the head… SIX TIMES… To pick up a victory. [slight Pause] I’ll be shocked when Funk ACTUALLY beats him fair and square…

Davis Detterich: Aren’t you the man who said that “winning is winning despite how you do it?”. Sure, Edison may be able to claim that these wins are “cheap”, but, at the end of the day… Cannonball Funk has NEVER lost to Roy Edison. He’s proven to be an true FORCE as a singles competitor here in the DOA!

John Greed: I hope they book, at least, one more match between these two… You’ll see the final outcome then! Funk just may lose his career in that bout! I promise you that…

Davis Detterich: While that may be true, TONIGHT… Cannonball Funk can hang his head high as he comes away with his SECOND VICTORY over Roy Edison!

 

 

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Steve Flash

… Enraged, Injured, and Hell-bent on Vengeance …

 

[in what can only be described as downright chaos, We quickly switch to a view of the backstage area as an injured, and obviously enraged, Steve Flash staggers down a deserted hallway. With his right arm draped across his midsection and a sizable gash seen expelling blood from his forehead, The “Indy Wrestling Legend” dramatically needs the crutch of a nearby wall to keep him on his feet. Meanwhile, he aggressively gasps for air while breaking his breathing rhythm to violently yell for his attacker.]

 

Steve Flash: POWELL!!!! [A heavy cough follows] GOD DAMN YOU, POWELL!!

 

[steve pauses as he almost falls over; instead, using the nearby wall to keep him on his feet. A desperate maneuver that works… At least, For now.]

 

Steve Flash: SHOW YOUR FACE YOU COWARD!!! [Violent cough follows.] BE A MAN… SHOW YOURSELF!!!

 

[With that, Mr. Flash turns rather violent as he begins to slam his free first into a steel fence encompassing vital building pipes. His body, unable to keep up with his aggressive momentum, seemingly gives way as the injured veteran crashes to the floor beneath him in a thunderous slam. Blood continues to drip down the bridge of his nose, forming a small puddle on his chest, as a slew of local paramedics quickly ascend upon the scene. At first, in a typical show of alpha-male’ism, Steve denies treatment from those only looking to help him. However, with time, his struggling begins to subside. With that, the crew of 3 turns into a massive wave of wrestlers, paramedics, and company officials all looking to help the fallen veteran in his time of need.]

 

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Teddy Powell

… Evil from on High …

 

[As the scene appears to be under control, The camera man slowly pans upward; away from the action, to spot Steve Flash’s attacker, Teddy Powell, standing within the comfort of darkness high above the scenario at hand. Watching on with a dead-pan showing of no emotion as the medical crew below looks to treat his victim.]

 

Grade: D

 

Davis Detterich: Something doesn’t seem right with Teddy Powell. [Pauses] This isn’t the same guy I remember watching during his days in DaVE. Something has SERIOUSLY gone wrong in that head of his…

John Greed: Yea, I don’t know how to grasp it either, Dave. It’s almost as if he’s transformed himself into something entirely new. I don’t recognize the man either…

Davis Detterich: Either way, Steve Flash looks to be seriously injured following Powell’s assault from earlier. I would be SHOCKED if he were medically cleared for action next week!

John Greed: I agree. There’s no way, after seeing the condition he is in right now, that ANY doctor would give him a “go” for next week. It would be nothing short of “career-suicide” for both parties.

Davis Detterich: Also, is Steve Flash just a random victim or does Teddy have some sort of vendetta against the “Living Legend”? I don’t think there’s a clear cut answer here, right now…

John Greed: Whatever his reasoning, Powell may have put Flash on the shelf for quite some time following tonight’s attack…

 

 

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Johnny Vicious, Acid, and Eric Tyler

… A “Big Fight” Atmosphere w/ a Pre-match stair down …

 

[The anticipation for tonight’s Main Event can no longer be suppressed. This ultimately creates a “bood-thirsty” atmosphere within the walls of the DOA “Dungeon” as both competitors make their way through the “Dungeon Gateway” and into the squared circle. The overall tone appears to be that of an iconic, “Big Fight”, “Drop-down drag-out” altercation that tugs at the most primal fibers of our being. Leaving all of those within the arena, and even watching from the comfort of their homes, with the overwhelming feeling that something BIG was just about to take place; a transcendatory moment in the winds of change within Pro Wrestling History.]

 

[With both, Johnny Vicious and Acid, in the ring at this point, There was little to keep either man from delivery a hefty dose of pre-match psychology in the form of “Mind Games”. With a roaring crowd watching on, Vicious and Acid meet in the middle of the squared circle. Nose-to-nose, foot-to-foot, neither man appears to want to back down to the other. Instead, they aggressively stair into each other’s eyes with little fear for what is only seconds away from taking place.]

 

[in a show of ultimate “Bad-Ass’ery”, Vicious steps slightly backward, breaking his focus from Acid for a split second in which to defiantly point in Mr. Tyler’s direction. “The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler, standing outside of the ring and watching on with as much anticipation as the rest of the audience in attendance, slowly shakes his head and mouths the phrase: “You will lose everything here tonight”. This is met with Johnny Vicious, also, mouthing in return: “You, and your goon, have NOTHING on me!”.]

 

[With the epic stage now set, Johnny Vicious turns back toward his opponent. Both men begin to clench their fists, and their respective jaw’s, as an all-out war appears to be on the verge of taking place. THEN it came to happen; The bell officially is rung.]

 

Grade: C-

 

Davis Detterich: Buckle your seats up, DOA Fans, as we are NOW… FINALLY… On the verge of finding out WHO WILL BECOME THE FIRST EVER DOA CHAMPION!

John Greed: I can’t wait anymore… [Anticipatory Laughter] GO GET HIM ACID!!!

Davis Detterich: Well, at least you’re keeping with your “objection” viewpoint, I guess… [Laughs]

John Greed: I don’t care about objectivity anymore, Davis. I WANT Acid to win here tonight! Is that so much of a crime? He is the ONLY man on this roster who can carry such a title! The ONLY man who can usher in the kind of revolution that we’re attempting to forge…

Davis Detterich: I can’t fight with you there, but, Johnny Vicious is NO push-over either, John. Either man can carry our industry into a new era!! And now, FINALLY, we’re going to find out exactly which one of these two men has what it takes to overcome the odds! To become the FIRST EVER DOA CHAMPION!

 

 

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Acid vs. Johnny Vicious

DOA Championship Match

 

Neither man looks to back down as they still stand nose-to-nose. Their rage-filled eyes fixate upon each other in a trance-like scenario as those within the DOA “Dungeon” frantically emote their body-crippling anticipation for what lays before them. In what seems like eternity, their “ice-cold” staring challenge comes to a climactic end as Johnny Vicious is the first man to become physical; Landing a hard right hand across the jaw of Acid, Sending the animalistic fighter into a state of “fight-or-flight” as the former DaVE stand-out roars back in Vicious’s direction. This, in turn, ignites a deadly brawl between the two competitors. A violent, no-nonsense, approach toward the possibility of becoming the FIRST EVER DOA Champion.

 

“The Voice of Reason” Eric Tyler stands in the corner of his personal roster addition, Acid; however, NEVER comes in actual contact with either competitor. Most would expect to see the grizzled Wrestling Legend interfere in favor of Acid but that very fact never came to pass. Instead, Tyler embraced the whirlwind of emotions within the “Dungeon” as he, too, watches the action unfold before him. Obviously pulling for his favorite; however, never manifesting that support into physical action.

 

With the DOA crowd verbally exploding within “The Dungeon” as the back-drop, both Acid and Johnny Vicious practically tear the squared circle apart with their abusive offensive styling’s. Almost every single turnbuckle is exposed at some point, and for some reason, Eugene Williams allows it to take place. Sparking a call for conspiracy as many later believe that he MAY have been in the corner-pocket of Mr. Tyler. All in all though, Mr. Williams most likely understands the magnitude of such a bout. Instead of controlling the match with an “iron fist” he actually allows both competitors to wreak havoc upon each other. With that being said, most weapons are not allowed by Mr. Williams. Also, he does a “decent” job of trying to advise both Vicious and Acid to “not” use the exposed turnbuckles when possible. However, in the end, there was no real way he could contain such an altercation. He was more so there as a moderator to make sure that there was a definite ending; A true champion.

 

It became quite evident that THIS match, outside of any before it, is given the ability to truly unfold at its own pace. A pace, mind you, that felt borderline reckless at certain points of their match-up; however, a true testament to the typical DOA style. At one point, to show an example for this, Vicious and Acid are wrapped into a lightning quick stint of chain-wrestling between the two of them. Flips, twists, turns, reversals, unsuccessful pinfall attempts, and quick strikes are all that is seen as neither man truly gains an upper hand on the other. Just when it looks like Acid is on the verge of taking control, Johnny Vicious blocks a snap belly-to-back suplex with a nose-breaking elbow to the face of his opponent. Acid attempts his maneuver yet again; however, Vicious is able to break the hold with another hard-right-elbow to the throat of Acid. This forces the animalistic warrior to slowly back way, clenching his throat, and opening his body up to a major attack from Vicious; That’s exactly what took place. Vicious, bolting full-speed toward Acid, quickly takes the former DaVE standout down to the canvas in a thunderous tornado DDT using his opponent to hold his weight in the swinging nature of his move. With both men motionless on the canvas, tired after 3 straight minutes of back and forth action, the DOA crowd instantly shows their support for both men with a resounding chant of: “Tear this place down”.

 

In the end, that’s exactly what they did; Theoretically. In what will forever go down as one of the most historic matches in DOA history, both competitors looked as if they had a rightful ability to possibly obtain the victory. As we know, though, both men cannot win. There had to be an ultimate victor.

 

Acid is placed atop a nearby turnbuckle as Johnny Vicious aggressively climbs the same turnbuckle from the ringside apron. With a round of heavy right hands to the side of Acid’s head, Johnny Vicious looks to physically subdue his opponent before setting him up for what can only be a Hurricanrana. However, as he finally leaps up onto the dazed Acid… The animalistic warrior plants his feet behind the set of ropes below; Ultimately creating a way to keep his weight atop the top rope. This also gives way for Acid to forcibly pull Johnny Vicious back up into a powerbomb like positioning; A fact that Vicious tries to block with another round of heavy right hands; however, his attempt is quite unsuccessful as Acid musters up all of his strength… Taking flight… Bringing Vicious with him to execute a powerful TOP ROPE ACID BOMB!!

 

The crowd absolutely erupts at the sight of such a cataclysmic maneuver. Even if it means that their personal favorite, Johnny Vicious, may be on the verge of losing the DOA Championship. Sadly, for the grungy street-fighter, that’s exactly what comes to pass as Acid dramatically rolls onto his opponents chest. Pulling his leg upward in which to ensure a strong pinfall attempt.

 

1...

 

2..

 

3.

 

A wave of boos fill the DOA “Dungeon” at the sight of Acid winning tonight’s Main Event, and in turn, becoming the FIRST EVER DOA CHAMPION! While some pockets around the arena are seen clapping for such an iconic match-up, It’s quite evident that no one is happy about the true outcome of the match. Why? Johnny Vicious, at least tonight, has become a “mega-star” in the eyes of the DOA fan base. He has become everything that the company defines itself to be, A physical personification of Deadly Overloaded Action.

 

However, in the end, Acid is victorious!

 

With the DOA Championship firmly around his waist shortly after the final bell is rung, Mr. Tyler quickly ascends into the ring; to join his personal roster addition. It’s there that these two former DaVE superstars stand together, united in their loyalty to each other, and standing atop the DOA landscape as the TWO most powerful people in the company!

 

Acid defeats Johnny Vicious in 15:59 via a Top Rope Acid Bomb. Acid has been declared the FIRST EVER DOA CHAMPION!

Grade: C

 

 

John Greed: ACID! [Celebratory Laughter is heard from John] ACID HAS DONE IT!! THE FIRST EVER DOA CHAMPION IS NONE OTHER THAN THIS MAN, THIS MONSTER OF A MAN… ACID!!

Davis Detterich: Good god, John. WHAT A MATCH!! [Pauses] You may love, or hate, Acid; however, in the end you cannot deny the fact that HE IS the first man to wear the DOA Championship around his waist! Good God, what a match!!

John Greed: There were no interferences, no weapons to really speak of… Just a true back-and-forth competition! What a way for the first champ to be crowned! WOW… I can’t believe we’ve finally come to this point! ACID IS THE DOA CHAMPION!! [Celebratory Laughter again]

Davis Detterich: Join us NEXT WEEK as we witness the official crowning of ACID as the DOA CHAMPION!! What will Mr. Tyler have in store for HIS Champion? Also, will Johnny Vicious make his presence known during the presentation? You’ll have to tune in NEXT WEE… on DOA…’RRRRRRRRRRAPID ASSAULT!!”. Goodnight!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overall Show Grade: C-

TV Rating: 0.023 (+ 0.01)

Dungeon Attendance: 1,916

 

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Quick “Rapid Assault” Results

 

Johnny Vicious defeats El Dragón Dorado and Steve Flash via pinfall

The Moral Majority defeats Feline Fancy via pinfall

Cannonball Funk defeats Roy Edison via pinfall

Acid defeats Johnny Vicious via pinfall to become DOA Champion

[BHK1978]

Well I was going to say that Eric Tyler is my favorite character but now I am not sure after reading the Totally Supreme segment!

 

I loved the debut of Teddy, it is such a change in character from PSW.

 

Also, I was wondering if there may be a Mitch Naess knock off joining Totally Supreme some where down the road.

 

Oh and the Citizen X movie rental was a classic!

[angeldelayette]

Great show, Eisen.

 

I figured that Citizen X would say that he rented it to keep it from harming the minds of others and he destroyed the dvd or something. lol.

 

Teddy Powell looks like he's gonna be a fun character for you to write for. Looks like you're already enjoying him.

 

I am definitely behind Eric Tyler and Acid! Go Voice Of Reason!

[CZCW]

Great show, E-V! wow.

 

I found the time to read it all the way through and I have to say that I really enjoyed it. You''ve done a great job of creating a whole bunch of really interesting, really unique, characters in your DOA creation. They all speak and act in their own way and that just makes them jump right off of the screen. As you know I read your PSW diary a lot but this one so far takes the cake. The time that goes into everything must be pretty hefty because you really have created a great image for the company.

 

A few thoughts after reading:

 

:: I really like how Johnny Vicious became such a huge part of the company in one show. You made him look like a legit main eventer. Im guessing that he will be a force from here on out. Rematch?

 

:: I loved the Pecker-wrecker promo and can't wait to see who is tag partner is.

 

:: I like how you let Moral Majority win cleanly. I have to admit that I'm a fan of Cougar and Fox Mask but it was good to see you give the Moral Majority some crediblity with their win.

 

:: Totally Supreme are one of my fav characters of all time. "OOOPS, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TAKE MY BONER PILLS!" Great timing. Kinda like an afterthought but it really sent a final blow at the SWF.

[jhd1]

Fantastic, need I say more!? You'd not get it on pre-watershed though would you?