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ZEN: Art of Wrestling


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ZEN: Art of Wrestling

Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Powerbomb

 

New Zealand's premier (and only) wrestling promotion, ZEN is the world's third or fourth fastest rising company featuring colorful characters, fast-paced matches, and offbeat humor since October 2007. It's never a dull moment with ZEN, which also boasts it's own training school and is proud to be the first equal opportunity wrestling promotion: Men, women, sea monsters, aliens, even Hello Kitty dolls are welcome to test their skills in ZEN! Now granted there's no actual female wrestlers on our roster yet, but why let statistics get in the way of our diversity?

 

ROSTER:

 

The Heroes!

 

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Devilfish- The Multi-Colored Master of Mayhem!

The Marianas Trench - 4 Year Pro

Style: Lucha Peces

Signature Moves: "Fish Finger Shuffle", Parallel Snapmare, Fisherman's DDT

Least Favorite Fishing Reality Show: Deadliest Catch

 

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X-Calibre- The Mean Green Springboard Machine!

ZEN Harmony Champion

Faction: X-War

New Zealand - 5 Year Pro

Style: Lucha Libre

Signature Moves: Springboard 450, Rebound Springboard Dropkick, Tornado DDT

Hobby: Making sliders with his George Forman Grill

 

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Fuzzy Freeman- Spaced Out Superstar!

Australia- 6 Year Pro

Style: Ultra Groovy

Signature Moves: "Spanish Castle Magic", Reverse DDT, Shiranui

Favorite Movie: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

 

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Man O' War- The Avenger From The Ocean!

ZEN Harmony Champion

Faction: X-War

Atlantis Heights - 6 Year Pro

Style: Lucha Libre

Signature Moves: "Neptune's Trident", Rolling Headscissors, Victory Roll

Next Door Neighbors: Namor and Aquaman

 

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Vertigo- The Artist Of The Airways!

Faction: The Sky Kings

Low Orbit - 5 Year Pro

Style: High Flying Cruiserweight

Signature Moves: "Radar Legdrop", Crossbody, No-Hands Plancha

Favorite Frozen Pizza: Red Baron

 

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Pumpkin Jack- The Tricky Treat!

ZEN Conceptual Champion

Drowsy Hallow - 5 Year Pro

Style: Cruiserweight with Japanese Junior Influences

Signature Moves: "Orange Bowl", "Pumpkinhandle Suplex", Seated Double Knees

Catchphrase: "KEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!"

 

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Shaolin- The Funky Warrior Monk

Japan - 5 Year Pro

Style: Stealthy Japanese Junior

Signature Moves: "Death Touch", Crane Kick, Sitout Hiptoss

Pet Peeve: Being called "Naruto"

 

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Super Zero- The Expressionless Wonder!

Faction: The Sky Kings

Mean Streets Of Parts Unknown - 4 Year Pro

Style: Japanese Junior

Signature Moves: "Holding Out For A Zero", Missile Dropkick, Crucifix

High School Superlative: "Most Likely To Guard Buckingham Palace"

 

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Killer B- The Yellow And Black Attack!

Faction: The Knights Temple

The Honeycomb - 1 Year Pro

Style: Cruiserweight

Signature Moves: "B-Sting", Dropkick, Avalanche

Favorite Queen Single: "Somebody To Love"

 

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SubUrban Legend- The Funkin' Flyboy!

Faction: The Knights Temple

The Cul-De-Dac - 1 Year Pro

Style: "And Lots Of It" (His words, not ours)

Signature Moves: "Legend Killer", Diving Headbutt, Fireman's Carry

Calvin Klein Is: Not A Friend Of His

 

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Blue Flea- The Unsquashable Rookie Sensation

New Zealand - Rookie

Style: Bubonic

Signature Moves: "Flea For Your Lives", Legdrop Bulldog, Hurricanrana

Favorite Utensil: The Spoon

 

Villains!

 

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Halloween Knight- The Godfather of Ghouls!

Faction: FEAR

Your Nightmares - 6 Year Pro

Style: Classic Horror

Signature Moves: "Pumpkin Patch", Piledriver, Diving Bulldog

Favorite Candy: Candy Corn

 

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Necromancer- The Monochrome Menace!

ZEN Master

Faction: FEAR

The Graveyard- 6 Year Pro

Style: Thrilling Cruiserweight

Signature Moves: "Death Scream", Foot DDT, Sliding Chop Block

Dance of Choice: The Translyvania Twist

 

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Cyanide- The Merciless Mat Masochist!

Faction: FEAR

Under Your Bed- 6 Year Pro

Style: Mat Technician

Signature Moves: "Skull Splitter", Romero Special, Upright Proton Lock

Childhood Hero: Alice Cooper

 

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Jester- The Mirthless Manhunter

Vlad Dracula's Court- 5 Year Pro

Style: Wild Brawler With Aerial Skills

Signature Moves: "The Punchline", Moonsault, Tornado Punch

Favorite Joke: The one that involves smashing your face in with a chair.

 

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Massacre- The Mighty Miserable Mauler!

Faction: FEAR

In Your Closet- 7 Years Pro

Style: Power Wrestler

Signature Moves: "Black Descent", Powerslam, Gutwrench Suplex

Hobbies: Brooding, Sulking, Stamp Collecting, Scowling

 

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Mirror Universe John Gordon- The Goateed No-Goodnik!

The Mirror Universe (Duh) - 4 Year Pro

Style: Rule Breaker

Signature Moves: Goatee Driver, Hot Shot, Boot Scrapes

Favorite Snack: Candy Stolen From A Baby

 

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Pink Spider- The Aggravating Arachnid!

Parts Unknown- 2 Year Pro

Style: Lucha Libre

Signature Moves: O'Connor Roll, Victory Roll, La Sombra Cradle

Does He Swing From A Thread: Only Recreationally

 

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C-W-A - The Reaper With The Shiny Red Nose!

Carnage And Bloodshed Circus - 7 Year Pro

Style: Wildman Brawler With Circus Clown Chicanery

Signature Moves: "Clown Killer Deluxe", Back Suplex, Madman Clothesline

Hobbies: Beating up Vertigo, Planning ways to hurt Vertigo, Dreaming about beating up Vertigo

 

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HalloWarped- The Futuristic Phenom!

A Cyberpunk Hellscape - 1 Year Pro

Style: Sci-Fi Horror

Signature Moves: "Warp Speed", Snapmare Suplex, Rope Walk Arm Drag

What Drove Him Insane: The Pelvic Thrust

 

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The Seeker- The Street Preaching Maniac!

The Cathedral- 10 Year Pro

Style: Greco-Roman Catholic

Signature Moves: "Final Sacrament", Lariat, Tope Con Hilo

Favorite Video Game: The You Testament

 

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Toady- The Prince Of The Pond!

A Log In The Hole On The Bottom Of The Sea- 2 Year Pro

Style: Common Spotted

Signature Moves: "Toad Splash", Leapfrog, Superkick

Hobbies: Treasurer of the Gene Simmons Fan Club

 

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Damian Dastardly- The Diabolic and Dastardly!

New Zealand- Rookie

Style: Well-Rounded Rule Breaker

Signature Moves: "Dastardly Cunning", Cross Body, Hiptoss Neckbreaker

Hobbies: Tying people to railroad tracks, rubbing his hands, twirling his invisible mustache.

 

Supporting Cast!

 

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Classy Paul Massey- The ZEN Commissioner!

Style: Even-handed authority

Duties: Dispensing Justice, Making Matches, Filing Paperwork

 

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Guru Vishni- The High Priest of Tranquility, Enlightenment, and Low Blows!

Style: Serene and Sinister Manager

Clients: Mirror Universe John Gordon and Damien Dastardly

Duties: Meditating, Interfering In Matches, Causing General Disarray

 

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Molly Cuddle- Vertigo's Cadet!

Style: Adorable Valet

Client: Vertigo

Duties: Moral support, Cheerleading, Pointing out ambushes

 

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Sparky Sparks- The Voice of ZEN!

Style: Enthusiastic Announcer

Duties: Calling the action, Announcing results, Reading Commissioner's decisions

 

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Steven Yale- The Personification of Blind Justice!

Style: Handi-capable Referee

Duties: Keeping order, Counting to three, Echolocating

 

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The Alex Atturo Experience- The Other Voice of ZEN!

Style: Wisecracking Commentator

Duties: Dispensing factoids, Recalling rivalries, Making fun of Heroes.

 

ZEN: Way of the Dreamer 2013- The First Show Of The Year!

 

Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

 

And More! (...Or Is It?)

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer © - He's rocking an Evil Incarnate gimmick, surely he can't job to Devilfish?

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack © - Whoa, new ZEN guys I hadn't seen before! Jack looks awesome. :)

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide) - You should FEAR FEAR!

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker - Of all the guys in Australia, THESE TWO get picked up by ZEN? Seeker seems like he has more potential so will go with him...

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War © - Toady seems to be the weakest link here.

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer © - Necromancer retains the title, but not cleanly.

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack © - No title change on the first show

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide) - FEAR need to be kept strong

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker - Guess

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War © - Real Team wins.

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ZEN: Way of the Dreamer 2013- The First Show Of The Year!

 

Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

Like both these guys, but i see more upside with Seeker.

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

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Rematch For the ZEN Master Title!

Devilfish vs Necromancer ©

 

ZEN Conceptual Three Way!

Pink Spider vs HalloWarped vs Pumpkin Jack ©

 

Trios Action!

Shaolin and the Sky Kings vs FEAR (Halloween Knight/Massacre/Cyanide)

 

Double Debut Action Go!

Fuzzy Freeman vs The Seeker

 

ZEN Harmony Championship!

Jester and Toady vs X-War ©

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ZEN: Way of the Dreamer 2013

 

The show begins with "Psycho Circus" by KISS signalling the arrival of Jester and Toady, as the makeshift duo looked to take the Harmony Titles from the much more experienced duo of X-War. After a back and forth battle, Jester would grab a chair for a chair-assisted moonsault, but Toady tried to make him stop, reminding Jester that there's not a No DQ rule in effect. The miscommunication allows Man O'War to roll out of the way, and Jester recovered in time to get blasted with the Neptune's Trident (Pounce) for the three count.

 

"Boys and girls of every age

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

Come with us and you will see

This our town of Halloween!"

"This is Halloween" would signal the arrival of the Four Extreme Agents of the Revolution, Halloween Knight leading the way and giving orders to his companions. Massacre grabbed Man O'War from behind and held his hands behind him while Cyanide laid into him with punches, and Necromancer blasts X-Calibre with the ZEN Master title belt. After the monster Massacre tosses Man O'War out of the ring, Halloween Knight takes a microphone.

 

Knight: "DEVILFISH! I warned you what would happen, what would become of you if you tried to take the ZEN Master title from FEAR once again... didn't you already learn your lesson, when I beat you to within an inch of your life at Way of the Dead? Apparently you are a slow learner... LOOK AT THE CARNAGE AROUND ME AND MY AGENTS! This is just a glimpse of the Hell that awaits you! Necromancer will break your ankle tonight, Massacre and Cyanide, The Enemy, will shatter your arms, and then I will take your head off and place it upon my mantle... and you will serve as an example, that there is nothing to fear in ZEN more... than FEAR itself!"

 

After the dust settled, Blue Flea would make his way to the ring to go one on one with the dangerous CWA. The Clown With Attitude would deliver a one sided beatdown on the Flea however, putting him away in record time with a back suplex followed by a Camel Clutch. CWA would keep the hold on Flea for a couple seconds after the bell but then quickly left the ring. Sparky Sparks would ask out loud why CWA was in such a hurry, leading the Alex Aturro Experience to reply with "Maybe he left his cotton candy machine on, Sparky, why are you such a nosy guy?"

 

Next the Knights Temple would head to the ring for our second unannounced match of the night, SubUrban Legend as always rapping his way to the ring...

 

"They say our opponents are evil,

John Gordon and Dastardly,

But even Superman

Ain' got nothin on me!

They like to fight dirty,

And break the rules,

But me and Killer B

Are gonna stomp them fools!

And then there's their homie,

the Guru Vishni,

And he's like his robe,

Always smellin' fishy! (Killer B holds his nose there)

But if he sticks his nose

into this business,

He's gonna find himself

Sleepin' with the Fishes!

We're the Knights Temple,

Coming to rock this joint,

Runnin' over competition

Like a Mario Kartty!"

 

Killer B would then facepalm as Alex Aturro had a laugh over SubUrban's flubbed finish, and the Legend would try to explain that he meant to say "rock this party" as Guru Vishni's duo of Damien Dastardly and the Mirror Universe John Gordon rushed in behind them for the ambush! Despite the strong start thanks to the cheap shot, the Knights Temple having trained together at the ZEN Temple Dojo (hence the name), managed to make a big comeback, thwarted by Guru Vishni ringing a bell to throw off Steven Yale's echolocation allowing the villain team to make an illegal tag and John Gordon would smash Legend's face into the ringpost whilst Damien used his Dastardly Cunning (Backcracker) to get the three count.

 

The ZEN-Tron (which is just a regular TV with the Toshiba logo covered up with electric tape) would then show The Sky Kings and Molly Cuddle prepping for the upcoming trios match.

 

Molly: "...Well maybe he got lost, Vertigo..."

 

Vertigo: "How could he get lost? Every show ZEN has ever had was here. Zero, did you see him?"

 

Zero shakes his head, behind them a rope drops down, dangling from above.

 

Vertigo: "Well we can't wait forever, our match is next."

 

Shaolin slides down the rope, the others unaware of him being there.

 

Molly: "Oh! Maybe he's in the bathroom! Do ninjas use bathrooms?"

 

Vertigo: "I've never heard of a ninja using a bathroom..."

 

Shaolin: "HELLO SEXY LADY!"

 

Even the usually emotionless Super Zero jumps back in shock, turning to see the funky warrior monk.

 

Vertigo: "Oh! Shaolin! Just in time, our match is next, you're ready right?"

 

Shaolin: "OPPA GANGAM STYLE!"

 

Shaolin gallops away leaving the other three confused.

 

Vertigo: "What's a Gangam Style?"

 

Molly: "I have no idea."

 

They look to Super Zero, who just shrugs, and the three go to follow Shaolin...

 

And this leads to a guitar version of Mega Man 2's Air Man Theme, signalling the Heroes' entrance into the arena proper. as they would look to knock off three-quarters of the evil FEAR stable. The well oiled machine that is FEAR would be no slouches however and countered the speedy antics with frequent tags and double and triple team moves. They managed to isolate Super Zero but when Halloween Knight looked for a diving bulldog, Zero countered with a back suplex, and went to tag in Vertigo, but Vertigo gets distracted by a giant Jack-In-The-Box wheeled out to ringside. Shaolin is there to make the tag, Necromancer who is ringside gets up on the apron to yell at Steven Yale, allowing Massacre to toss Halloween Knight a steel chair and smack Shaolin over the head with it, taking it out of the ring before making the cover, and with Vertigo looking at the box and Super Zero hurt, nobody was able to make the save.

 

Vertigo's curiosity leads him to asking Molly Cuddle to crank the box, which began to play the tune of a certain musical rhyme... when CWA popped out of the box, with a pie in hand.

 

CWA: "POP GOES THE WEASEL!"

 

CWA then smashes the pie into Vertigo's face, and Vertigo falls like he was hit by a truck, CWA jumping out of the box and fleeing before a now-recovered Super Zero or Shaolin can stop him. Molly Cuddle takes the pie pan off to reveal that the pie was loaded with a horseshoe, Molly gasping and calling for help as a trainer comes down to check on Vertigo, putting him in a stretcher and the trainer and Super Zero carried Vertigo to the back.

"They call me The Seeker!

I've been searchin' low and hiiiiigh!"

 

"The Seeker" by The Who would announce the arrival of, well, The Seeker, who had a bible in hand, and a microphone in the other.

 

Seeker: "Cut my music! Cut my..." (Music stops) "...As I saw this flock here entering the ZEN Temple today, I knew that I was truly a pilgrim in a savage land..." (Climbing the steps, and then going through the ropes) "I can tell just by looking at you all that every single one of you are unwashed heathenistic sinners. And even though it is my duty to save every soul I meet, I'm afraid that even I might not be able to save any of you lowlifes from the fires of Hell."

 

The crowd boos Seeker, who scowls at the reaction.

 

Seeker: "The fact that you would treat the only man who can give you redemption in such a way is a poor omen indeed... but I will not falter! I will cleanse your souls of ALLLLLL the evil! But to cleanse your souls I must also cleanse your mind, and to cleanse your mind I must cleanse ZEN of ALL sinners! I will start with the sinner who has yet to poison your minds... the degenerate known as Fuzzy Freeman! Rejoice, sinners, and watch as I make an example of this impure wretch!"

 

As he set the mic down and put his bible in the corner, "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane would announce Fuzzy Freeman's arrival. and the two would have a frenetic brawl, which suited Seeker fine but Fuzzy would show a lot of resilience and get his share of impressive offense. After Seeker pulled the ropes down to make a charging Fuzzy fall to the floor, the climbed to the top rope for a flying tope, though during the landing he falls awkwardly on his arm. Clutching his wrist he reels as Fuzzy makes a comeback, hitting a Shiranui for a two count and setting up for Spanish Castle Magic (Shining Wizard), but Seeker intercepted him with a spear and followed up with the Final Sacrament (Regal Cutter) for the three count.

 

Next up would be the Conceptual title match, a three way dance between Pink Spider, HalloWarped, and Pumpkin Jack, stemming from Way of the Thief when Pink Spider interfered in a match between Warped and Pumpkin Jack to cause a double DQ, and now we have a one-fall match between the three for all the theoretical gold! As one would expect from three of the most explosive high fliers in ZEN it was a full-throttle contest from the start with nobody getting any advantage without being taken down from behind or from the air. In the end Pumpkin Jack used a frankensteiner to whip Pink Spider into HalloWarped, their heads colliding with Pink Spider plopping on his back in the ring while Warped falls to the floor, allowing Pumpkin Jack to climb to the top and hit the Orange Bowl (630) for the three count.

 

The ZEN-Tron would go backstage again, this time with Devilfish in front of the camera.

 

Devilfish: "NECROMANCER! Since you stole the title of ZEN Master from me, back in the Way of the Spy, my mind has been focused entirely on righting your wrongs, on getting my revenge. TONIGHT! After three signs of the ZENdiac have come and passed, on the fourth, the first of this year, Way of the Dreamer... I will DRAG YOU DOWN into the depths of destruction and dispair, and you will DROWN in the weight of your sins against myself and the rest of the heroes of ZEN! You will know what it's like... to be a fish out of water!"

 

The instantly recognizable riff of "Holy Diver" would then play as Devilfish made his way down the ramp, taking little time as he was pumped for his chance to regain the ZEN Master title from Necromancer, who had won the title with a jackknife pin assisted by Massacre holding his ankles for added leverage. The champ however was by himself, much to everyone's surprise, and Devilfish would waste no time diving at the champ and laying into him, and the two would brawl outside the ring for a good three minutes before Devilfish forced Necromancer into the ring to get the match officially started. Necromancer would try to answer with every dirty trick in his bag, even trying to take Steven Yale's cane but Devilfish would low blow Necromancer, a taste of FEAR's own medicine!

 

Devilfish looked for the Fish Finger Shuffle but got distracted by Massacre and Cyanide, together called The Enemy, coming out, and missed the big fist drop, allowing Necromancer to accidentally-on-purpose shove Devilfish into Steven Yale! Necromancer motioned to Cyanide who looked to toss Necro a pair of brass knuckles, but Devilfish intercepted them and clocked Necromancer! Cyanide comes in, eats the Knuckles, the big man Massacre looking for an avalanche, Devilfish moves away, and POP! Down goes the big man, and Devilfish hits the ropes... BRASS-ASSISTED FISH FINGER SHUFFLE, and tossing the knuckles out before making the pin, but Steven Yale was still out!

 

Devilfish looked to revive Yale, but it was no good. He went to grab some water to pour on Yale's face, but when he got back in the ring with the water bottle, Necromancer recovers.... sliding chop block... AND THE DEATH SCREAM! (Ankle Lock) Before Yale could get up though, here comes Halloween Knight in a referee shirt! He yells at Devilfish, demanding he submit, but Devilfish refused... so Halloween Knight grabs Devilfish's wrist, forcing his hand to slap the mat, and then called for the bell!

 

Sparky Sparks is in disbelief, saying that there's no way Commissioner Massey would let this go, but Halloween Knight would toss a card at the announce table, which Sparks identified as a New Zealand referee's license, and it's valid! The full FEAR team would have recovered now and started to put the boots to Devilfish...

 

Then, "The Midnight Carnival" from the Guilty Gear XX soundtrack, the music of Pumpkin Jack, was heard as the Conceptual champion came out, and he was not alone, as X-War joined in! It was 4-on-3 until Devilfish got his second wind, and they brawled until Halloween Knight ordered his troops to retreat, and Pumpkin Jack and Devilfish would take microphones.

 

Jack: KEYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA~!

 

Devilfish: What Pumpkin Jack just said, is that it's time that the Four Extreme Agents got a little competition here in ZEN... they can push their weight around because they're the biggest gang around...

 

Jack: KEYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA~!

 

Devilfish: So before the main event, the four of us got together, and decided to be that gang.

 

Jack: KEYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Devilfish: We are The Hooligans of Extreme Mayhem! And Halloween Knight! Now it's YOU that will have something to fear!

 

The show ended with Sparky Sparks wondering out loud what else was going to happen, with Aturro saying Halloween Knight is going to have to keep teaching THEM a lesson. Website and copyright info followed on the DVD releases as the show ended.

 

Quick Results:

X-War d. Jester/Toady to retain the ZEN Harmony Titles

CWA d. Blue Flea

Dastardly/Gordon d. Knights Temple

FEAR d. Shaolin and the Sky Kings

Seeker d. Fuzzy Freeman

Pumpkin Jack d. Pink Spider and HalloWarped to retain the Conceptual title

Necromancer d. Devilfish to retain the ZEN Master title

Other Notes:

-The Seeker broke his wrist during his match with Fuzzy Freeman, however he's expected to make it to the next show.

-Rumor has it during the after party, Halloween Knight made some comments about Molly Cuddle that her boyfriend, Super Zero, took offense to. Super Zero has also since cancelled his volunteer sessions training newbies at the ZEN Temple Dojo. No word on if this will lead to Zero and/or Cuddle leaving the company as Halloween Knight is the full owner of the company.

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The ZENdiac

 

The yearly cycle of events for the ZEN promotion has been dubbed the "ZENdiac" by Halloween Knight in 2009 and has been the official name for the schedule of events held by the promotion. The purpose was twofold: to brand each event with an overall theme, while giving the talent a unique and "ZEN-ny" way to refer to their shows; with each event being a "Sign" and the whole year being a "Cycle".

 

It's been a common question where the ZEN cycle begins, as there were two fan theories: Way of the Dead in October, the anniversary of the show, and Way of the Dreamer, the first calendar show. It wasn't until Way of the Spy 2012 that Halloween Knight gave an answer in a promo: That there is no actual start and end, that the cycle is an "endless mobius of insanity".

 

In calendar order, the twelve signs are:

 

The Dreamer- Jan

The Scholar- Feb

The Healer- Mar

The Philosopher- Apr

The Poet- May

The Jester- June

The Warrior- July

The Liar- August

The Spy- September

The Dead- October

The Assassin- November

The Thief- December

Way of the Scholar Card:

 

THEM vs FEAR!

Devilfish and Pumpkin Jack vs The Enemy (Massacre and Cyanide)

 

Sneak Attack Revenge!

Man O'War vs Necromancer

 

Everybody Loves Trios!

X-Calibre, Fuzzy Freeman, and Shaolin vs CWA, Pink Spider, and Toady

 

#1 Harmony Contenders Match

The Sky Kings vs The Order Of Chaos (Mirror Universe John Gordon and Damien Dastardly)

 

The Introduction of the Halloween Knight's "Kill All Heroes" Series!

 

Plus More!

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Way of the Scholar Card:

 

THEM vs FEAR!

Devilfish and Pumpkin Jack vs The Enemy (Massacre and Cyanide)

 

Sneak Attack Revenge!

Man O'War vs Necromancer

 

Everybody Loves Trios!

X-Calibre, Fuzzy Freeman, and Shaolin vs CWA, Pink Spider, and Toady

 

#1 Harmony Contenders Match

The Sky Kings vs The Order Of Chaos (Mirror Universe John Gordon and Damien Dastardly)

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THEM vs FEAR!

Devilfish and Pumpkin Jack vs The Enemy (Massacre and Cyanide)

 

Sneak Attack Revenge!

Man O'War vs Necromancer

Everybody Loves Trios!

X-Calibre, Fuzzy Freeman, and Shaolin vs CWA, Pink Spider, and Toady

 

#1 Harmony Contenders Match

The Sky Kings vs The Order Of Chaos (Mirror Universe John Gordon and Damien Dastardly)

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THEM vs FEAR!

Devilfish and Pumpkin Jack vs The Enemy (Massacre and Cyanide)

 

Sneak Attack Revenge!

Man O'War vs Necromancer

 

Everybody Loves Trios!

X-Calibre, Fuzzy Freeman, and Shaolin vs CWA, Pink Spider, and Toady

 

#1 Harmony Contenders Match

The Sky Kings vs The Order Of Chaos (Mirror Universe John Gordon and Damien Dastardly)

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Awesome first show, very enjoyable!

 

THEM vs FEAR!

Devilfish and Pumpkin Jack vs The Enemy (Massacre and Cyanide) - Newly formed THEM needs momentum.

 

Sneak Attack Revenge!

Man O'War vs Necromancer - FEAR needs to get a win, so if they lose the tag match, this one should be theirs.

 

Everybody Loves Trios!

X-Calibre, Fuzzy Freeman, and Shaolin vs CWA, Pink Spider, and Toady - X-Calibre, Shaolin and CWA seem a step up from the other three, so I'll go for the team with two of them on.

 

#1 Harmony Contenders Match

The Sky Kings vs The Order Of Chaos (Mirror Universe John Gordon and Damien Dastardly) - More experienced team for the win here.

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<p><strong>ZEN Way of the Scholar</strong></p><p> </p><p>

<em>"Boys and girls of every age,</em></p><p><em>

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?</em></p><p><em>

Come with us and you will see,</em></p><p><em>

This our town of Halloween!"</em></p><p> </p><p>

We open right away with <strong>Halloween Knight,</strong> carrying a chair with him and a composition notebook under his armpit, grabbing a microphone as well and heading into the ring, propping up the chair and sitting in the middle of the ring, mic in hand.</p><p> </p><p>

Knight: "I thought tonight I'd like to share a little storybook I've been writing since the last sign of the ZENdiac..." (Opening the book and reading out loud) "Once upon a time, there was a great and noble lord who ruled over ZEN with an iron, yet caring, fist. He and his allies protected the kingdom of ZEN, and spread the virtues of evil and villainy across the land... his name was Halloween Knight, and he watched as one of his great knights, the mighty Necromancer, defeated the Devilfish for the title of ZEN Master, in convincing and fair fashion..."</p><p> </p><p>

The crowd booed out his outright lie, as many of them were there for the title change late last year, Knight would hold the book up to the cameraman, showing a stick figure putting another in an ankle lock.</p><p> </p><p>

Knight: "See? I even drew pretty pictures to illustrate it! Next page..." (He flips the page) "When the Devilfish schemed to win a rematch in a battle royal at Way of the Dead, the great Halloween Knight himself appeared on the field of battle, sending the Fish over the ropes and earning himself a guaranteed ZEN Master match valid for a full ZENdiac cycle. However the Devilfish in time through means most unfair won contendership, so at the Way of the Dreamer, he sought to steal the title away..."</p><p> </p><p>

He turned the page, looking at the crowd. before continuing.</p><p> </p><p>

Knight: "The Devilfish used dirty tricks on the noble Necromancer, even attacking poor Steven Yale. But the grand Halloween Knight had become a licensed referee the week before, and brought it upon himself to step in, and when the Necromancer applied the Death Scream, and the Devilfish did tap out, Halloween Knight called for the bell as was his job as referee."</p><p> </p><p>

He showed a picture of two stick fingers standing on top of a third.</p><p> </p><p>

Knight: "But the corrupt Commissioner Massey, made lies about the decision made. He spread forth an edict, banning Halloween Knight not only from his promised title match, but that Halloween Knight would not be able to have a match for the ZEN Master Title by any means until the next Way of the Dead. But Halloween Knight responded the only way he could... he challenged the Commissioner to bring any hero before the Halloween Knight, and the Knight would destroy the Heroes, one by one, until there was no Hero left to challenge the Necromancer...."</p><p> </p><p>

Knight closed the book, stood up, and kicked the chair aside.</p><p> </p><p>

Knight: "And that's the end of the story for now, because the next chapter is to be written right now... for this is the beginning of my Kill All Heroes Series, where I will take on any Hero put before me, sight unseen. The only people who know who I am facing tonight, are the Commissioner, and the foolish hero himself. And so without further ado, allow me to make the introductions and save that drooling buffoon Sparky Sparks the burden of putting his two remaining braincells together to do it."</p><p> </p><p>

Halloween then cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>

Knight: "Ladies and ghouls, this is the Kill All Heroes Series! Introducing the winner, from Your Nightmares, he is the Godfather of Ghouls, the leader of the Four Extreme Agents of the Revolution, the Master of Disaster, the Lord of the Flies, HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN KNIGHT! And the loser, some stupid Hero..."</p><p> </p><p>

The tune of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" would play as <strong>Killer B</strong> would come down the ramp to be Knight's opponent. The youngster put up a strong showing but the much more experienced Halloween Knight was able to rally forward and eventually lock in the Pumpkin Patch (Rings of Saturn), but Knight demanded that Steven Yale not ask Killer B if he wants to tap, instead hammerfisting Killer B in the temple repeatedly before breaking the hold... and then he picked up Killer B and dumped him on his head with a piledriver, lazing into the pin for a three count.</p><p> </p><p>

After the smoke cleared, we'd get <strong>SubUrban Legend</strong> rapping his way to the ring...</p><p> </p><p>

"Take a look at the clock,</p><p>

SubUrban Legend Time,</p><p>

And I promise this show</p><p>

This one will rhyme!</p><p>

My opponent tonight,</p><p>

Some crazy psycho preacher,</p><p>

But it's time to go to school</p><p>

And I'm the teacher!</p><p>

Seeker he goes around,</p><p>

Thumpin' his Bible</p><p>

But tonight I'll be thumpin..."</p><p>

</p><p><em>

"They call me The Seeker!</em></p><p><em>

Been searchin' low and hiiiiiiiiiiigh!"</em></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>The Seeker</strong> would come out, interrupting Legend's rap before we found out what on earth was going to rhyme with "Bible", with a microphone of his own.</p><p> </p><p>

Seeker: "No! NO! You will NOT corrupt the youth of ZEN with your mind-warping music! For I know the truth about rap music... oh I know it. It's subliminal messages, all the lyrics are anagrams for phrases from Alistair Crowley's Satanic Bible! I am here to purify this unholy land of ZEN, and you will be the next to be excommunicated!"</p><p> </p><p>

Seeker then charged into the ring to brawl with the Legend, taking an early advantage with his street fighting tactics but the resilient Legend would make a huge comeback, taking to the air a couple times to really dish out the punishment, including a massive flying headbutt! He looked for the Legend Killer (Jumping Stunner) but Seeker shoved him off and managed to counter with the Final Sacrament for the three count.</p><p> </p><p>

The ZEN-Tron would show <strong>The Sky Kings and Molly Cuddle</strong> in the back with <strong>Shaolin</strong>.</p><p> </p><p>

Molly: "Are you sure you can pull it off Shaolin?"</p><p> </p><p>

Shaolin: "OPPA GANGAM STYLE!"</p><p> </p><p>

Shaolin gives a thumbs up, before sprinting away, leaving the others confused.</p><p> </p><p>

Molly: "Is... that a yes?"</p><p> </p><p>

Vertigo: "I... think so."</p><p> </p><p>

Super Zero shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>

Molly: "Well, let's hope he can do it, it's time for our match guys!"</p><p> </p><p>

And the guitar cover of the Air Man theme would bring out the Sky Kings as they looked to fight <strong>Guru Vishni</strong>'s duo, now an official tag team named the <strong>Order of Chaos</strong>, with the winners being next in line for X-War's Harmony titles. The high fliers took over early on but the cruel villain duo used vicious double team tactics. The Sky Kings recovered a second time but Guru Vishni threw salt in the face of Vertigo, allowing John Gordon to pick him up and hit the Goatee Driver (Fireman's Carry into a kneeling Falcon Arrow) for a three count.</p><p> </p><p>

Next up is the rookie <strong>Blue Flea</strong> as he faces the futuristic<strong> HalloWarped</strong>. Unfortunately for Blue Flea, he was completely outclassed, and Hallowarped put him away with a flapjack/rib breaker combo followed up by Warp Speed (SOS/Ranhei) for the three count.</p><p> </p><p>

The ZEN-Tron would show <strong>CWA </strong>in the back, cradling a balloon giraffe.</p><p> </p><p>

CWA: "Vertigo... he thinks I forgot about what he did to Trunky... but last sign I reminded him that the carnival of pain has just begun. Soon he will end up flattened like poor Trunky... isn't that right Necky? You stay right here, daddy is going to wrestle now..."</p><p> </p><p>

He puts the balloon giraffe down and goes to head to ringside, and a rope drops down, <strong>Shaolin </strong>sliding down to grab Necky and sneakily head the other way.</p><p> </p><p>

This leads to the opening theme from the 2012 Twisted Metal game playing as <strong>CWA</strong> lead <strong>Pink Spider and Toady</strong> to the ring to do battle with <strong>X-Calibre, Fuzzy Freeman and Shaolin</strong>. Both teams seemed to lack unity as nobody in the match was formerly allied with another, leading to several communication errors that helped serve as turning points in the momentum of the match. In the end X-Calibre was in the ring with Pink Spider who looked like he was in trouble... but <strong>Vertigo</strong> comes out with Necky the Balloon Giraffe! CWA was looking to tag in but he starts to go after him, Toady trying to stop him, reminding CWA that there's a match going on... and CWA kicks Toady in the tadpoles! CWA chases Vertigo out of the arena while X-Calibre hits the Springboard 450 for the three count.</p><p> </p><p>

We would go to the ZEN-Tron again to see <strong>Man O'War</strong> in the back.</p><p> </p><p>

Man O'War: "Ahoy there mateys! Yer fav'rite heartie, Man O'War is ready to scuffle with the scurvy cur Necromancer! For those of ye who didn' see it, last sign his crew threw me overboard and he attacked me partner X-Calibre. Well I swear upon me ship and her crew that I will send Necromancer straight to Davey Jones' Locker tonight! Titles be not on the line this eve, but this will be the fight of Necromancer's life!"</p><p> </p><p>

And then, being one half of X-War, Man O'War came out to the theme of the 90s X-Men cartoon, as he looked to face the ZEN Master <strong>Necromancer</strong>. The Monochrome Menace stuck to his usual MO of working the leg, which not only set up for the dreaded Death Scream but also hampered Man O'War's movements. Necromancer would manage to build a comeback by countering a knee breaker with a bulldog and following that up with a series of armdrags and his old school style rolling headscissors but when he looked for Neptune's Trident his hurt leg made him hobble just enough for Necromancer to throw him into the ringpost, following up with a rack bomb and multiple Foot DDTs before looking for the Death Scream, but Man O'War grabbed the ropes.</p><p> </p><p>

Necromancer pulled him away and threw him into the ropes for a vicious flapjack and looked for the Death Scream again... Man O'War would manage to stand on his other leg, then flip forward, sending Necromancer into the turnbuckles... and Man O'War with a school boy pin, one, two... THREE! Man O'War rolled out of the ring as Necromancer was in shock, the ZEN Master has been pinned! Sparky Sparks had to remind everyone that this was a non-title match, but nevertheless, a huge upset for the Man O'War!</p><p> </p><p>

The ZEN-Tron would show <strong>FEAR</strong> backstage as Necromancer joined his fellow fiends.</p><p> </p><p>

Halloween Knight: "What happened out there Necromancer?"</p><p> </p><p>

Necromancer: "I don't know! I had him, he must have cheated somehow!"</p><p> </p><p>

Halloween: "Calm down Necromancer... we can afford the setback here, it wasn't for the championship. And I need you to get the surprise ready. We're going to teach THEM what happens when they try to take over our domain."</p><p> </p><p>

With those words, we go back to the arena, where "As We Ride" by Knock Galley West heralded the arrival of <strong>THEM members Devilfish and Pumpkin Jack</strong>, as they looked to battle FEAR's "The Enemy" duo of <strong>Massacre and Cyanide</strong>, who were backed by the kingpin of evil himself, Halloween Knight. The villainous duo were quickly sent out of the ring, but Devilfish would deliver a running tope into The Enemy while Pumpkin Jack delivered an Asai Moonsault to Halloween Knight!</p><p> </p><p>

The THEM duo would brawl with The Enemy on the floor, the action too chaotic for Steven Yale to follow with his echolocation, so he completely misses Massacre getting the upper hand over Devilfish with a chair to the back and a chair to the head of Pumpkin Jack! The villains send Devilfish into the ring and are in complete control, using frequent tags to keep Devilfish on their side of the ring. Cyanide puts Devilfish in the upright Proton Lock to try to make him submit, but when Pumpkin Jack tries to break it Steven Yale stops him, allowing Massacre to get in and boot Devilfish in the nose! The duo tag again and Devilfish tries to crawl to Pumpkin Jack, but Massacre stops him with repeated elbow drops, looking for the powerslam, but Devilfish slips out the back, dives... TAG!</p><p> </p><p>

Pumpkin Jack is a HOUSE OF FIRE and unleashing a flurry of offense, a Frankenrana to Cyanide, leaping lariat to Massacre, a dropkick sending Cyanide to the floor, and then without even a pause hits the ropes and the sliding knees to Massacre, looking now for the Orange Bowl...</p><p>

</p><p><em>

"YOU HAVE JUST BEEN ERASED!"</em></p><p> </p><p>

A collective gasp of shock as "You Have Just Been Erased" by Austrian Death Machine plays on the PA for the first time since September as the lights go out... and when they go on, <strong>Jester and the returning Eraser</strong> with a stereo chairshot to Pumpkin Jack! An instant DQ! Devilfish tries to save the day, but is already hurt, and falls victim to a double snake eyes known as The Hit. The Mercs have been reunited and they've left their mark immediately on ZEN, leaving Sparky Sparks and The Alex Aturro Experience wondering what will come out of this shocking night.</p><p> </p><p>

----------------</p><p>

Quick Results:</p><p> </p><p>

Halloween Knight d. Killer B</p><p>

Seeker d. SubUrban Legend</p><p>

Order of Chaos d. The Sky Kings</p><p>

HalloWarped d. Blue Flea</p><p>

X-Calibre/Freeman/Shaolin d. CWA/Spider/Toady</p><p>

Man O'War d. Necromancer</p><p>

THEM d. The Enemy via DQ</p><p>

-----------------</p><p>

Other Notes:</p><p> </p><p>

-Toady alleges CWA didn't pull the groin kick during their match, leading to a heated argument between the two. It's unknown if the two came to terms with each other at this time.</p><p>

---------------</p><p> </p><p>

<span>http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/1011/erasery.jpg</span></p><p>

<em>Eraser- The Extreme Mercenary</em></p><p>

Faction: The Mercs (w/ Jester)</p><p>

Outer Heaven- 4 Years Pro</p><p>

Style: Silent Assassin</p><p>

Signature Moves: "Rub Out", DDT, Rope Hang Guillotine Choke</p>

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