Voeltzwagon Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Really enjoyed the first show. Some really good stuff going on and looking forward to where things go from here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitarzu Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Good show, waiting for the next one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeflonBilly Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 That was a hell of a show! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w4lru5 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 <p>I want tickets to the next BALLS show. </p><p> That was ridiculous. And good.</p><p> </p><p> To the Faces of Death: Face of death. Death. Face. Face. Face of death.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevermore Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="w4lru5" data-cite="w4lru5" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="37995" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Face of death. Death. Face. Face. Face of death.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Really? You can speak Facelvannian too? I feel so out of the loop <img alt=":(" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p> Quote The Raven</p><p> Nevermore</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevermore Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 <p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><span style="font-size:24px;">The results are in</span></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> Predictions for BALLS: To The Wall have been tallied:</p><p> </p><p> DAVEfan95 - 4/6</p><p> </p><p> KnowYourEnemy - 4/6</p><p> </p><p> MidnightNick - 2/6</p><p> </p><p> w4lru5 - 5/6</p><p> </p><p> Rickymex - 5/6</p><p> </p><p> Kitarzu - 5/6</p><p> </p><p> 3rdstringPG - 4/6</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Teflon Billy - 6/6</strong></p><p> </p><p> Psycho Sam - 4/6</p><p> </p><p> Satyr24 - 2/6</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> So, the winner, with a storming 6/6 is <strong>Teflon Billy</strong>. Bill (I feel we're on first name terms now), I don't think Dunton Hall will mind me revealing that the next BALLS ahow will see Larry "Got" Wood defend his BALLS Hardcore title against The Yank. You, sir, get to pick the match stipulation. It can be anything from the TEW database or, indeed, anything from your twisted, twisted mind (I don't know you're mind is twisted - but we, the BALLS community, can only hope).</p><p> </p><p> Special mentions go to <strong>RickyMex</strong> and <strong>Kitarzu</strong> who both scored 5/6. Fellas, you've each earned yourself a signed Faces of Death t-shirt. We're not sure which signature is which... apparently they can't write anything other than "Face of Death".</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FODtshirt.jpg</span></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> Quote The Raven</p><p> Nevermore</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitarzu Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 <p>A free signed Faces Of Death T-Shirt! Great Success!</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://www.doler.eu/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/great-success-300x216.jpg</span></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddyGarner Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 I got to touch breasts and elbow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevermore Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Post-Show http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/DuntonHall.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/CharliePag.jpg Dunton and I were running over the show in the locker room after the event. Hall: Am I really going to have to work a feud with a man dressed as a cow. Is this what I'm paying you for? Pag: Firstly, you haven't paid me yet. Secondly, no... you're just helping to establish a feud. You're the on-screen authority. Hall: "On-screen"? Pag: Okay... you are the authority. Hall: Better! And don't you forget it. Alton Vicious and Riddick Jordan walked past, still in their costumes. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath1.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath2.jpg Pag: Good work, boys! You're gonna nail this gimmick for us! They looked at each other quizically. Face of Death #1: Face of Death? I laughed. Pag: Exactly! Face of Death #2: Face of Death? Pag: Haha... How do you think it went? FOD #1: Face. Face of Death. Death. Face of Death. I scowled. Pag: Stop it now! It's annoying! FOD #2: Face of Death? Pag: Not funny! Hall chipped in. Hall: Face. Face of Death. Face of death face of death face of death. FOD #1: Face of Death! Pag: FOR F**K'S SAKE, STOP IT! IT'S NOT A REAL LANGUAGE! Hall: Just 'cos you can't speak it... Pag: I f**king invented it! Hall: And what a monster it was that you created! I scowled again. FOD #2: Face of Death? I pushed them out of the room and slammed the locker room door in their faces (of death). Pag: Now, was there anything else? Hall: Yes... I've sorted out my arse! Completely unimpressed, I simply turned to leave. Hall: What's your problem? Pag: I don't need to know about your old man health problems! Hall: No, you cretin. A.R.S.E. is the alliance I wanted to found. Pag: Come again? Hall: A Reaction against Sports Entertainment. I've been in touch with Nemesis over at IPW and Mitch Naess at PSW and they're both interested in joining an international hardcore alliance for the purpose of talent sharing. Pag: Oh... A.R.S.E. I see. That's great news! Hall: Isn't it! ? And... I've sorted out my hemorrhoids too! I left. A Reaction against Sports Entertainment http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/ARSE.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w4lru5 Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 The results are in Predictions for BALLS: To The Wall have been tallied: w4lru5 - 5/6 Rickymex - 5/6 Kitarzu - 5/6 Special mentions go to RickyMex and Kitarzu who both scored 5/6. Fellas, you've each earned yourself a signed Faces of Death t-shirt. We're not sure which signature is which... apparently they can't write anything other than "Face of Death". http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FODtshirt.jpg Quote The Raven Nevermore Ahem. I, too, would like the Faces of Death t-shirt to which I'm entitled. Or does speaking Facelvanian disqualify me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevermore Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 Ahem. I, too, would like the Faces of Death t-shirt to which I'm entitled. Or does speaking Facelvanian disqualify me? Haha... sorry, bud. I'm notoriously unobservant when doing these leaderboards . Quote The Raven Nevermore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevermore Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/IYC.jpg Because wrestling is more fun when the ring explodes BALLS Tag Team Championship Tournament: Round 2 http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Tag.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Tag.jpg Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi Final UK Wrecking Crew vs. Beauty & The Geeks http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/MOSCUKWCbelts.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/ChristopherLister.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/JaseCole.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/SimonaCox.jpg Well, what to say? On the one hand we have one of the most dominant and decorated tag teams in UK Wrestling history, whose tagline is "the Crew are gonna kill you!". On the other, we have two sci-fi nerds, a girl and their plastic lightsabers. Nevertheless, Christopher Lister and Jase Cole are sure to put up a fight, which can on... Oh, sod this! Simona, breasts, enough said! Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi Final Norsemen of the Apocalypse vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Ragnar.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Hagbard.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/ThimblebyLangton.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/WootonFitzpaine.jpg As Norway clashes with the American Midwest, Vikings go toe-to-toe with Confederates. It's like a game of Civilization gone horribly, horribly wrong. Our money's probably on the Vikings. A soup tin to the head is a lot more bearable when you're wearing a helmet. Restholds R Us vs. Faces of Death http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/JDMorgan.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/BarryGriffin.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath1.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath2.jpg Both teams suffered defeat at BALLS: To The Wall and both now look to regather some momentum. Morgan and Griffin are so incredibly boring with their "technical wrestling" (whatever that means) that they might just send us all to sleep. Combine that with the fact that the Facelvannian natives seemed confused by the very concept of a wrestling match last month (let alone their being in one) and you've got a recipe for disaster. Hey ho - it's a chance for a piss and a pint break if nothing else. Barbed Wire Boards Match Ripper Le Stat vs. The Buzzard http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/RipperLeStat.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/TheBuzzard.jpg A vampire, a bird of prey (apparently) and plenty of barbed wire. The potential for blood loss and grievous bodily harm is only slightly higher than normal in the BALLROOM. Fans Bring Weapons Match MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. Extreme Dragon http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/MosCOW.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/ExtremeDragon.jpg MosCOW made his/her beef with Dunton Hall known last week. There is only one cow on the BALLS roster and its heferly suggestive of species discrimination. The incident ended with MosCOW assaulting the boss and a fan in an udderly shocking display. With pride at steak, Hall has called upon Extreme Dragon to teach the bovine behemoth a lesson for his/her mootinous ways. The cold war reignites at the BALLROOM. Truth, Justice and The American Way Match The Yank vs. Larry "Got" Wood © http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Hardcore.jpg http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/TheYank.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/LarryWood.jpg Larry Wood became the first BALLS Wrestling Hardcore (AKA Crazy F'n Bastard) Champion at BALLS: To The Wall only for his celebrations to be interrupted by a vicious assault by The Yank. Now, it's time for them to face off in the ring. This match is a perect example of why we love the BALLS fans so much as this was devised by the twisted mind of one of their own. Truth is hardcore; Justice is the sweet sound of a steel chair connecting with a human skull and, as for the American Way, we'll let the fan himself describe it: "The American Way is to blow $#&@ up real good. So what we do is plant some good old, made In The US of A explosives in the turnbuckles. Someone gets thrown into those turnbuckles, then those turnbuckles blow up real good." ...he said, from his rocking chair while cradling a shotgun. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NB: There will be a predictions leaderboard, the leader of which at carefully considered intervals (read: when I remember to check) will win some form of prize. Could be the choice of a stipulation; choosing an event name or some digital merchandise. Quick Picks: The UK Wrecking Crew vs. Beauty & The Geeks Norsemen of the Apocalypse vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos Restholds R Us vs. Faces of Death Ripper Le Stat vs. The Buzzard MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. Extreme Dragon The Yank vs. Larry "Got" Wood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rickymex Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 The UK Wrecking Crew vs. Beauty & The Geeks Norsemen of the Apocalypse vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos Restholds R Us vs. Faces of Death Ripper Le Stat vs. The Buzzard MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. Extreme Dragon The Yank vs. Larry "Got" Wood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satyr24 Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Vaughan why didn't you grab my cricket bat to fight of her club The UK Wrecking Crew vs. Beauty & The Geeks Norsemen of the Apocalypse vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos Restholds R Us vs. Faces of Death Ripper Le Stat vs. The Buzzard MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. Extreme Dragon The Yank vs. Larry "Got" Wood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BWA95 Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 The UK Wrecking Crew vs. Beauty & The Geeks Norsemen of the Apocalypse vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos Restholds R Us vs. Faces of Death Ripper Le Stat vs. The Buzzard MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. Extreme Dragon The Yank vs. Larry "Got" Wood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnowYourEnemy Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 <p>The UK Wrecking Crew vs. <strong>Beauty & The Geeks</strong></p><p> <strong>Norsemen of the Apocalypse</strong> vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos</p><p> <strong>Restholds R Us</strong> vs. Faces of Death</p><p> <strong>Ripper Le Stat </strong>vs. The Buzzard</p><p> MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. <strong>Extreme Dragon</strong></p><p> The Yank vs. <strong>Larry "Got" Wood</strong></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitarzu Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 <p>The UK Wrecking Crew vs. <strong>Beauty & The Geeks</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Norsemen of the Apocalypse</strong> vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Restholds R Us</strong> vs. Faces of Death</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Ripper Le Stat</strong> vs. The Buzzard</p><p> </p><p> MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. <strong>Extreme Dragon</strong></p><p> </p><p> The Yank vs. <strong>Larry "Got" Wood</strong></p><p> </p><p> 2 wishes:</p><p> </p><p> 1) We want Wood, Soccmel!</p><p> </p><p> 2) Lug Phelan, the Irishman sent by Nemesis only to beat the crap out of Pag!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberious Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 <p><strong>The UK Wrecking Crew</strong> vs. Beauty & The Geeks</p><p> <strong>Norsemen of the Apocalypse </strong>vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos</p><p> <strong>Restholds R Us</strong> vs. Faces of Death</p><p> <strong>Ripper Le Stat</strong> vs. The Buzzard</p><p> MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. <strong>Extreme Dragon</strong></p><p> The Yank vs. <strong>Larry "Got" Wood</strong></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeflonBilly Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 The UK Wrecking Crew vs. Beauty & The Geeks Norsemen of the Apocalypse vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos Restholds R Us vs. Faces of Death Ripper Le Stat vs. The Buzzard MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. Extreme Dragon The Yank vs. Larry "Got" Wood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAVEFAN95 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 <p><strong>The UK Wrecking Crew</strong> vs. Beauty & The Geeks</p><p> Norsemen of the Apocalypse vs.<strong> Hungry Hungry Hobos</strong></p><p> <strong>Restholds R Us</strong> vs. Faces of Death</p><p> <strong>Ripper Le Stat</strong> vs. The Buzzard</p><p> MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. <strong>Extreme Dragon</strong></p><p> The Yank vs. <strong>Larry "Got" Wood</strong></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w4lru5 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 <p>The UK Wrecking Crew vs. <strong>Beauty & The Geeks</strong></p><p> <strong>Norsemen of the Apocalypse</strong> vs. Hungry Hungry Hobos</p><p> <strong>Restholds R</strong> Us vs. Faces of Death</p><p> <strong>Ripper Le Stat</strong> vs. The Buzzard</p><p> MosCOW the Communist Bovine vs. <strong>Extreme Dragon</strong></p><p> The Yank vs. <strong>Larry "Got" Wood</strong></p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevermore Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Friday, week 1, February 2014 <iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/5dllFb2vGKg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/MannyMorhan.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/CharliePag.jpg Manny: Hello and welcome to the BALLROOM. This is BALLS: In Your Court! I'm Manny Morhan... Pag: ...and I'm the superior announcer. Manny: Again?! Would you stop that?! Pag: Stop what? A fair statement of truth and justice? That's the theme for tonight isn't it? Manny: Well, I guess you have one thing right there. Tonight, Larry "Got" Wood, our very first BALLS Hardcore Champion, will defend his title in a Truth, Justice and The American Way Match. Pag: A Match perfectly suited to The Yank! Manny: Maybe... truth be told, I have no idea why we are favouring him in our match stipulations. Pag: Because, Manny, The Yank will bring more glory to this promotion than that damn Canadian ever could. We have a special relationship with America. Manny: What you mean that one where they invade places entirely unnecessarily and we act as lapdog? Pag: That's beside the point! Canada is a sh*tty little backwater of a country and that giant oaf is not a true champion! Manny: Giant oaf? Come in kettle; this is pot. Over. Pag: Moron. Manny: MORHAN! BALLS Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi Final http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/MOSCUKWCbelts.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/ChristopherLister.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/JaseCole.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/SimonaCox.jpg As the bell rings, Jase Cole hits Bruiser with his plastic lightsaber. Bruiser stares at him unimpressed. He hits him again. Unphased, Bruiser heads over to the ropes and grabs a microphone. Bruiser: Stop that! Cole: No... I am a Jedi master! Bruiser roles his eyes. Cole hits him again. Bruiser: STOP THAT! Cole hits him again. Bruiser rips the lightsaber from him and snaps it over his knee. Cole: Then I shall have to use the force! Bruiser folds his arms waiting for Cole's next attack. Cole puts one hand to his temple and points the other at Bruiser. Manny: He's looking for the Jedi Mind Trick. Bruiser loses patience. Manny: CLOTHESLINE FROM HULL! CLOTHESLINE FROM HULL! Bruiser tags in Thug who starts beating the crap out of Cole. Bruiser drags Lister in over the top rope. A one-sided beatdown ensues. In the seventh minute, Thug hist the Durham Dominator. 1...2...3! Match Rating: E Manny: Well, the Crew just killed Beauty and the Geeks. Pag: And it looks like they're not finished. After the match, The UK Wrecking Crew usher Simona into the ring. Bruiser: Top. Simona: Excuse me? Bruiser: Top. Off. Simona: No! Bruiser: Thug... get a chair. Simona: Fine! Fine! Simona removes her top as wolf whistles are heard around the crowd. Bruiser: Skirt. Simona now removes her skirt. Christopher Lister jumps Bruiser from behind with a lightsaber. Brusier: F**KING STOP THAT! Manny: CLOTHESLINE FROM HULL! Simona speaks in a disgusted tone of voice. Simona: Bra next I presume? Bruiser: What do you take us for? Animals? Bruiser kisses Simona on the hand and the Crew make their exit. The crowd seem disappointed. As the geeks head to the back, a fan appeals for Simona to give him her clothes. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Gerard.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FatBastard.jpg Somewhat stunned, Simona hands them over but the geeky pervert is quickly elbowed in the face by a fat man next to him. He spits crumbs from his battered sausage down his chest as he gleefully takes Simona's skirt. BALLS Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi Final http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Ragnar.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Hagbard.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/ThimblebyLangton.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/WootonFitzpaine.jpg The match starts with an even contest between Hagbard and Wooton, the latters speed making up for his lack of size. Soon, though the Vikings power starts to show through and they begin to dominate. After being held away from his corner for a few minutes, Wooton finally tags in Thimbleby who rushes in with a soup tin. He decks Ragnar who falls to the canvas. BUM DROP! But the remaining Norsemen head to the ring with plastic axes. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Harald.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Starkad.jpg Harald strikes Thimble by in the chest with the axe. Pag: And Thimbleby is down! Manny: Why, though?! It's just plastic. Blood starts spewing from Thimbleby's chest. Manny: Oh, come on who's buying that?! Pag: I imagine it came free with the axes. Wooton runs to avenge his partner. He is greated by a Double Axe Handle from Starkad from the top rope. Pag: AXE... SMASH... FACE! Ragnar covers. 1...2..3! Match Rating: E- The Faces of Death make their way to the ring. <iframe width="480" height="390" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tWfcWjeospo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Pag: Oh no! It's these cretins again! Manny: It's the Faces of Death! Fat Man: Weighing in at a comboned wait of Face of Death, hailing from Deathsville, Facelvannia... The Faces of Death. On his way to the ring Face of Death Number One trips on his hallowe'en cloak and tumbles down the aisle-way. Face of Death Number Two watches his partner. He shrugs and falls over, also tumbling down the aisle-way. Pag: I'm sticking with my theory that we just paid some drunk homeless guys to dress up. Manny: No... that's the hobos. Pag: Yeah. I think they'd get on. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/JDMorgan.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/BarryGriffin.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath1.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath2.jpg Pag: So who's the legal man? Manny: JD Morgan. Pag: Obviously! I meant from the Faces of Death, moron. Manny: MORHAN! Pag: Let's go with Number One. JD Morgan starts picking apart Face of Death Number One from the beginning. The Faces never really get their "shine" and the advantage stays with Restholds, much to the annoyance of the crowd. The technicians do a good job racking up their heel heat over several minutes Then, in the seventh minute, after being systematically beaten down and prevented from tagging out, Face of Death (whichever one it is at this point) crawls slowly over to his corner. The crowd will him on as his partner reaches over the ring rope anticipating the tag. Manny: Here we go! Pag: HE'S MADE THE TAG! The other Face of Death strides purposefully into the ring, looking to clean house... but catches his foot on the second rope and falls flat on his face (of death). Bemused, Barry Griffin picks him up but Face of Death shakes free. "FACE OF DEATH" He grabs Griffin by the head and delivers an incrediby oversold headbutt. Griffin does a backflip with the impact... Manny: FACE OF DEATH! The other Face of Death now stands in the opposite corner. Pag: Oh no... Manny: Oh, yes! Griffin staggers to his feet, falls over again, gets up again, collapses against the ropes, bounces off them and stumbles towards the other Face of Death. The crowd now chant along... "FACE OF DEATH" Manny: FACE OF DEATH! Pag: IT'S JUST A BLOODY HEADBUTT! Griffin staggers around in circles before falling flat on his face. He groggily gets up, only to stagger into... "FACE OF DEATH!" Manny: FACE OF DEATH! Again, Griffin staggers to the other corner and the other Face of Death... "FACE OF DEATH!" Manny: FACE OF DEATH! Griffin now collapses against the ring ropes, tumbling straight over them to ringside. As if in a psychotic trance, he grabs a ringside chair and smashes himself in the face with it before rolling back in to the ring. Manny: ...and Barry "Bland" Griffin is down! Pag: I... I... Oh, never mind. The Faces celebrate their success as the fans cheer. JD Morgan enters the ring... "FACE OF DEATH" Pag: Oh, for crying out loud! But Morgan ducks and applies a side headlock. Pag: OH! SIDE HEADLOCK! IT COULD ALL BE OVER! The Face of Death taps. Match Rating: E Manny: What the hell just happened? Pag: He tapped to the most fearsome hold in world wrestling... JD Morgan's side headlock! Manny: Dick. Pag: Moron. Barbed Wire Boards Match http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/RipperLeStat.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/TheBuzzard.jpg The match is a total fustercluck. There is very little talent... let alone psychology on display. And, indeed, the match largely consists of The Buzzard pulling off some over the top spots and Ripper throwing him into barbed wire. Both wrestlers get a very hard time from the demanding crowd. In the sixth minute, hits Vlad's Impaler through a barbed wire board for the win. Match Rating: F After the match, Ripper Le Stat licks the blood off his opponent's back. Pag: Eeeww! Manny: He's a vampire. What do you expect? Pag: Hepatitis? HIV? I'm not quite sure really... MosCOW strides to the ring. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Q0CUrWn4R2I?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> MosCOW: MOOOO! I am tired of being the only Cow on the BALLS roster! Comrade Marx taught equality between peoples but there is clear species discrimination here! MosCOW is cut off. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/AIAlBv11rOc?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Extreme Dragon: Perhaps, dude, it's because this is a wrestling promotion; not a farm yard! Dragon sprints to the ring as the bell rings. Fans Bring Weapons Match http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/MosCOW.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/ExtremeDragon.jpg Extreme Dragon takes advantage early, using his superior speed to outdo the 6'6" behemoth. But after a few minute, MosCOW's power shines through and he throws the British patriot out to ringside. The IWC Nerd hadns what looks suspiciously like the Simpsons carbon rod to MosCOW http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/IWCNerd.jpg MosCOW blasts Extreme Dragon in the face with it, following up with a DDT. Pag: In Rod we trust, Manny. Manny: That's a very American phrase for a communist bovine. Pag: It's just a man in a cow suit, Manny. Beatrice throws her stilletos over the guard rail. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Beatrice.jpg MosCOW picks them up and inflicts uncomfortable, pointy violence upon Dragon's skull. MosCOW continues the hardcore beatdown. But he is struck in the head from behind by a briefcase. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/TheYuppy.jpg Pag: It's the yuppy again! Manny: He's getting his revenge on MosCOW and standing up for capitalism in the process. Dragon takes advantage. He hops onto the guard rail... and hits a flying Hurricanrana on the communist cow. Dragon rolls MosCOW back into the ring. MosCOW stands up and looks for the clothesline. Dragon ducks... Dragon Drop! 1...2...3! Match Rating: E British Samurai is backstage in the locker room with the Faces of Death and Dunton Hall. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/BritishSamurai.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/DuntonHall.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath1.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/FaceofDeath2.jpg Samurai: Hi guys. Look... Dunton has asked me to have a word with you. The Faces of Death look quizzical. Face of Death #1: Err... face of death? Samurai: Yes, face of death. Samurai looks at Hall and shrugs. Samurai: Now, listen... last week you didn't seem to know that you had to wrestle in the ring. I mean you tried to take a seat with the fans. And tonight you tapped out... which there's no shame in. But you tapped out to a side headlock. Face of Death Number 2 seems incensed. Face of Death #2: Face of death! Samurai: I'm not trying to be horrible... but are you sure you're in the right profession? The faces look at each other. Number One turns back to face British Samurai. Face of Death #1: Face of death. Face of death face of death face of death. Death. Face. Face of face of death. Death. Face. Face of death. Face. Death. Death. Face. Face of death. Bemused, Samurai looks at Dunton Hall. Hall: What? Samurai: You understand this, don't you? What did he say? Hall: He said: "My pet gofer is suffering from terrible indigestion and, even when he grimmaces with agonising abdominal pain, he is still less ugly than you". Samurai stares blankly. Face of Death #2: Face of death. Samurai responds to Hall. Samurau: You just made that up, didn't you? Hall: OF COURSE I JUST MADE IT UP, YOU ARSE! THEY'RE JUST SAYING "FACE OF DEATH" OVER AND OVER AGAIN! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND THAT?! Samurai: Then how did you talk to them last month? Hall: I didn't! I just said face of death a few times and they found it funny. What's the matter with you? Are you a f**king idiot? Hall scoffs at Samurai and storms out. Face of Death Number One, stands up looking disgusted. He scowls at Samurai in a condescending manner. Face of Death #1: Duuuh... Face of death. Face of Death Number Two also stands and, in the most patronising way possible, chips in. Face of Death #2: Face... of... DEATH! Both faces walk out shaking their heads at British Samurai. The camera cuts back to ringside. Voice: What does everybody want? "WOOD!" Voice: What does everybody need? "WOOD!" Voice: HEEEEERE'S LARRY! Larry wood storms to the ring, thrusting his 2x4, stopping to greet his fans. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Blondy.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/TheProfessor.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/IrishGuy.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Cristo.jpg He slaps Blondy's hand, taking a handful of his popcorn... ...and a drag on The Prof's pipe. He hands his 2x4 to the Irish Guy. And poses for a selfie with his favourite restauranteur. Fat Man: And the challenger... weighing in at less than the rest of his obese countrymen but that's hardly an achievement... hailing from the other side of the pond... THE YANK! The Yank also seems to have a following. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Mafia.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Blair.jpg Pag: IS THAT BLAIR HAMPTON?! Manny: Who?! Pag: From the telly... "Live and lte kind of live". Manny: Haha... you would know some camp vampire soap wouldn't you? Pag: He's a great actor... and he's so dreamy! Manny: Right... Truth, Justice and The American Way Match http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Hardcore.jpg http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/TheYank.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/vs.jpghttp://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/LarryWood.jpg The match immediately starts witha low blow from The yank. Manny: Oh, come on! Pag: What?! That's American ingenuity. They're known for ingenuity! Manny: What ingenuity?! We had the industrial revolution; the boom in liberal philosophical thought and all they did... Pag: ...was optimise them for use in war and foreign conquest? Manny: Exactly! Pag: Exactly! The Yank capitalises on his dirty tactics, slowly picking apart Wood. In the sicth minute, he tries to lock in the War On Terror! Pag: Oh The War On Terror! No one can withstand this! Manny: Apart from Afghanistan, Iraq, Pak... Pag: Hush, Manny. Details... just details. But Wood kicks free and clambers to his feet. The Yank locks in a collar-and-elbow tie-up... ...but is thrown staight into the turnbuckle. BOOM! Manny: That's it! He's dead! Pag: No! The American Dream will never die! Wood covers. 1...2... Gauge kicks out! Pag: He did it! He kicked out. But Wood drags the Yank over to another turnbuckle. He hits the Americans head into the first pad... Boom! And the second Boom! And the third. Boom! Manny: That has to be it. But Wood whips The Yank to the ropes... RUNNING BIG FOOT! The Yank goes tumbling backwards, straight into the third turnbuckle. Boom! Wood covers. 1...2...3! Match Rating: D Wood celebrates in the ring to the delight of most of the fans. But a figure jumps the guard rail. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Nemesis.jpg Pag: Is that? Manny: NO WAY! Nemesis slides in with a steel chair and decks Wood with it. He picks the mountain man up and launches him into the fourth and final turnbuckle. BOOM! Manny: Oh my god! Pag: Yeah. Kill him! Damn Cannuck! Nemesis then helps The Yank up and they head to the back. One fan asks desperately for their autographs but is ignored. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/HeffMova.jpg Show Rating: D- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3rdStringPG Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Good stuff! Glad to see my interactive fan (who kinda looks like me, but only chubbier <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> ) is getting some exposure. Sucks I missed the last round of predictions, though... <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevermore Posted June 21, 2014 Author Share Posted June 21, 2014 <p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><span style="font-size:24px;">The results are in</span></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> Predictions for BALLS: In Your Court have been tallied:</p><p> </p><p> w4lru5 - 5/6</p><p> </p><p> Satyr24 - 3/6</p><p> </p><p> BWA95 - 3/6</p><p> </p><p> Know Your Enemy - 5/6</p><p> </p><p> Kitarzu - 5/6</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Tiberious4 </strong>- 6/6</p><p> </p><p> Teflon - 4/6</p><p> </p><p> DAVEFAN - 5/6</p><p> </p><p> So, the winner, with full marks is <strong>Tiberious4</strong>. Tiberious, next month, there will be a title rematch between Larry Wood and The Yank. Like Teflon Billy before you - get to pick the match stipulation as we, the BALLS community, try to build up the most twisted arsenal of hardcore matches ever known. Feel free to pm or post in-thread.</p><p> </p><p> Special mentions go to <strong>W4lru5</strong>, <strong>DAVEFAN95</strong>, <strong>Know Your Enemy</strong> and <strong>Kitarzu</strong> who all scored 5/6. Fellas, you've each earned yourself a signed Larry Wood shirt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j254/charliepag/TEW/BALLS/Woodtshirt.jpg</span></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> Quote The Raven</p><p> Nevermore</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeflonBilly Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 Great show! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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