CGC 2019: The Show Must Go On

[Kitarzu]

Next week on CGC Title Bout Wrestling

 

CGC Tag Team Titles: Skip Beau & Jack DeColt vs Express Delivery ©

LMS PReview: Diablo DeVille vs Ian Identity vs Joey Poison vs Sayeed Ali vs Stevie Grayson

Rematch: Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

Dice Elderberry vs Gnaw

[Temes1066]

CGC Tag Team Titles: Skip Beau & Jack DeColt vs Express Delivery ©

Reasoning: This is DeColt country [However the win shall be by DQ]

 

LMS Preview: Diablo DeVille vs Ian Identity vs Joey Poison vs Sayeed Ali vs Stevie Grayson

Reasoning: Diablo DeVille is a wrestling demon.

 

Rematch: Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

Reasoning: A Referee being requested usually means shenagians

 

Dice Elderberry vs Gnaw

Reasoning: Gnaw needs this.

 

@Self, What is the In-Game Gimmick of Gnaw?

[misterioso]

CGC Tag Team Titles: Skip Beau & Jack DeColt vs Express Delivery ©

Think this is a victory by DQ to keep the titles on Express Delivery

 

LMS PReview: Diablo DeVille vs Ian Identity vs Joey Poison vs Sayeed Ali vs Stevie Grayson

 

Rematch: Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

 

Dice Elderberry vs Gnaw

[Self]

 

Sunday Week 4 August 2019

Late Evening on Maple Leaf Sports

Coquitlam, British Columbia

4,163 in attendance

 

 

PARKING LOT

 

 

CGC World Title around his waist, ZEUS MAXMILLION climb out of an expensive car, where he's instantly met by the boundlessly energetic STEVIE GRAYSON.

 

STEVIE GRAYSON

OhmyGodZeusit'sbeensolongsincewe'vebeentogetherI'msoproudofyou!

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION

Yes, friend Steive, it was a long road to me completing my labours

and becoming CGC World Champion, and I couldn't have done it

without your help.

 

STEVIE GRAYSON

NoImeanyou'reDRIVINGACAR!!! That'samazingIalwayshadtodrive

youeverywhere!

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION

... Yes. Since you have been gone I have also mastered many arts.

Including that of the horseless chariot. Go. Prepare for your match.

Later we will talk and drink of battles new and old, but first... I

have much to discuss with Dan DaLay.

 

Practically vibrating with glee, Stevie Grayson runs off... and out of the shadows slinks...

 

 

DIABLO DEVILLE

You are a fool to trust him, 'noble' Zeus. He comes back now? Why? He's plotting

against you, I'm sure of it.

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION

Silence, demon. Stevie Grayson is a dear friend. He is the one who long

ago began to thaw my heart and showed me the wonders of humanity.

You will learn much from him, and should heed his suggestions as

though I myself am making them.

 

DIABLO DEVILLE

Your wish is... ugh... my command.

 

 

DICE ELDERBERRY VS GNAW

Davis Ditterich "Gnaw has a complaint to make against Express Delivery for sending his tag team partner away in a box, but to get to them he'll need to get through their Customer Service Manager."

 

Gnaw is irate, but Dirty Dice shows him exactly where he can shove his complaints. In his sweaty armpit. Tiger Claws! Biting! Gnaw tries a Tiger Suplex, but Dice is just too big and sweaty. Dirty Bomb (Spinning Crucifix Toss)! 1... 2... 3.

 

DICE ELDERBERRY WINS (7:50)

 

 

Davis Ditterich "The Last Man Standing Rumble is almost upon us, and the Combatants get to place their votes, moving their allies and enemies up and down the entry order."

 

 

SAYEED ALI

I ain't giving anybody a damn Thumbs Up! Why should I? I never got

given no helping hand, growing up on the meanest streets of the

GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD; New York City. But I could give

thumbs down all day... Bobby Thomas. You took the Ultimate

Showdown Series from me. I'm not gonna let you take Last Man

Standing too.

 

 

 

JOEY POISON

Ian Identity. You've got a lot of potential. Everyone says that,

don't they? But words are fleeting. I want to help you unleash

that potential. I'm giving you my Thumbs Up... but you'll need

more than that to win the Last Man Standing Rumble. You'll need

this.

 

Joey reveals a glowing vial of magic potion.

 

JOEY POISON

I'm willing to give it to you, Ian. For a price. Oh, and Thumbs Down?

Stevie Grayson. Some people really need to learn when their

moment in the sun is over, and just move on, you know?

 

 

 

IAN IDENTITY

You learn a lot when you're trapped in a box for weeks on end. You

learn who your friends are. And you learn how to hold a grudge.

Express Delivery! You put me in that box and I've just realised I never

got around to repaying you for that. You think you have a chance at

being the Last Man Standing? Not if I have anything to say about it!

Thumbs Down; Hugh Ancrie. Thumbs Up; Penfold Perdition. I'm sorry

we're not hanging out so much any more, buddy.

 

 

DIABLO DeVILLE VS IAN IDENTITY VS JOEY POISON VS SAYEED ALI VS STEVIE GRAYSON

Davis Ditterich "We're two weeks away from the Last Man Standing Rumble. Does one of these men have what it takes to win?"

 

Stevie tries to take his new friend Diablo under his wing, but the demon isn't impressed by baseball hats and clapping, and tears into Ian's flesh with his sharpened fingernails. Stevie's surprised, but soon has Ali to contend with, sticking and moving and peppering him with strikes. Unblinking, unfeeling, the dead-eyed monster Poison comes to Ian's rescue. Sharpened fingernails have no effect. Peppered strikes are shrugged off. Ian is in awe of the monster's power, even as Diablo and Stevie team up to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge! Hellfire Kick! Tornado DDT! Double Clothesline!

 

POISON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

 

Ian's up with Intense Forearms and Incredible Dropkicks. He throws Diablo over the top rope, but the demon rebounds back inside with a Phoenix Lariat! Stevie climbs up, looking for Shades of Grayson (Moonsault Press) but Ali shoves him off of the top rope and out to the floor. Diablo laughs at the foolish mortal, taking his eye off of Identity who hurls him out!

 

STEVIE GRAYSON & DIABLO DeVILLE HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED

 

Ian and Ali go punch for punch in the middle of the ring... and Ali gets the better of it with pure power. Still at ringside and free of the potion's effects, Joey Poison slides in another vial at the feet of Identity. Ian refuses to drink it! Intense Forearms! Increidble Dropkick! He goes for the Intrepid Arrow (Arrow Suplex) but Ali overpowers him and throws him to the floor!

 

IAN IDENTITY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

SAYEED ALI WINS (8:25)

 

 

IN-RING

 

 

DAN DALAY

Hey Zeus! I heard you been lookin' fer me, and I think I know why.

You wanna be friends! I don't blame ya. We got a lot in common.

Both veterans. Both blonde. Both like teachin' folk the ways of the

world. Of course, I'm trainin' my own flesh and blood, and you're

wasting your time with a bottom feeding crossroads demon. You

wanna look into the eyes of the man that's gonna take the CGC

World Title at Last Man Standing? Well I'm right here.

 

BOOM!

 

Lightning bolts hit the turnbuckles. Dan DaLay is unafraid, swinging his weather-controlling agical tomahawk around.

 

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION

I have no doubt our battle at Last Man Standing will bea glorious

one, Dan DaLay. Tales will be told. Songs will be sung. Our names

will be celebratedin the halls of Olympus for eons to come. But

mark my words, Giant Amongst Giants, when the day is done the

CGC World Title will still be around my waist. For while you are a

worthy foe, you are a terrible human being. You are a bully and a

thief. You prey on those smaller than you and take what isn't yours.

CGC deserves a Champion it can be proud of. I will fight to my last

to protect this title from men like you.

 

DAN DALAY

If you think I'm a 'terrible' human being, you aint met many human

beings. You wanna show your demon the 'glory' of humanity? You're

looking at him. I'm big. I'm bad. I got the power to do what I want

and take what I want and I aint ever gonna die. DeColts may come

and go but DaLays last forever. When the earth explodes.... When

a virus takes the rest of you chumps... Dan DaLay will still be here.

And you'll be looking down on us from Mount Olympus.. shakin'

in your boots just prayin that i dont decide to come up there and take

over. Because I've always had your number, blondie. You got that

title for one reason and one reason only. I was busy. Showin' my

boy the ways of the world but now what I want to show him is

gold around my waist. The Status Quo has returned, Zeus! At

Last Man Standing I'm taking your title. I'm taking your demon.

You can go back to where you belong; dorking around with that

Stevie Grayson goof.

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION

Nothing lasts forever, Giant Amongst Giants. Not the Gods, and not you.

Times changed, and though you have defeated me many times on the

battlefield, you will not do so again. While you have basked in your

victories I have learned from my defeats. And while you have taught

your son foolish lessons in gluttony and greed I have completed

my labours and risen to the top of Canadian Golden Combat. It is

my duty to defeat you. You will not knock me from my perch. You

will not unleash Diablo DeVille upon this land. You will not be

Champion. Never again.

 

 

/w Isabella Encarta

Jason Tundra & Kenny Lomas

FROZEN NORTH

WOOLABONGA BOGANS

Rusty Mills & Donovan Boon

 

Davis Ditterich "Two weeks ago the Bogans picked up the win. Isabella cried foul play, so she's enlisted eagle-eyed referee Shane Stones to officiate this rematch."

 

Shane Stones doesn't see anything illegal about the Bogan's quick tags and ultra-smooth double teams, much to Isabella's chagrin. In fact, it's her team that gets reprimanded for adding cheap shots and small joint manipulation to their ultra serious, ground and pound. A blind tag switcheroo bring in Mills to take Frozen North down under with atomic drops and Northern Lights Suplexes. Tundra freezes him out with a Hailstone (Flying Back Elbow) but there was a second switcheroo... but Lomas saw it coming and catches Boon's Drop-Bearobics with an Exploder! 1... 2... 3!

 

FROZEN NORTH WIN (11:11)

 

 

EXPRESS DELIVERY LOCKER ROOM

 

 

DICE ELDERBERRY

Listen up, you turds. I know none of you

have been fired for a while, but don't get

comfy. There are a million chumps like you

ready to take your spots when you screw up.

So get your asses out there and make sure

Express Delivery don't lose those belts.

 

Sufficiently 'motivated', the Delivery Drones head for the door... but its stuck!

 

Outside, a greasy wrench has been wedged in the door handle, trapping Dice and the Drones inside.

 

 

CGC WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE

 

JACK DECOLT & SKIP BEAU

EXPRESS DELIVERY

Hugh Ancrie & Philippe LaGrenier

 

Davis Ditterich "Express Delivery wish to hold a monopoly of titles in CGC, but tonight it's their belts on the line."

 

Ancrie demands that the challengers be searched for weapons, but little does he know that Skip has planted brass knuckles in his shorts. Ancrie gets a talking to and Skip takes advantage of the distraction with some innovative backbreakers. Jack leads his new partner through some classic DeColt double teams, but Express Delivery are a well-oiled team and Skip gets covered in stamps and delivered to suplex city. Rather than get yelled at as he's expecting, Skip receives nothing but encouragement and positive reinforcement from DeColt, and he bursts free to make the tag!

 

Jack runs wild with right hands and shoulder tackles! Wild Ride (Whiplash Slam) to Ancrie! LaGrenier's too big and strong to suffer the same fate, so Jack attacks his mighty muscles with knife edge chops and locks him in the End of Days (Bow & Arrow Dragon Sleeper) when he tries to flee. Ancrie saves his colleague with vicious stamps, but Beau is back and he feels The Flow! Level 1! Level 2! Level 3! Jack and Skip mount the pompous postmen in the corners and Punch! Them! In! The-

 

 

Barging past the army of referees trying to stop him, BLOCKBUSTER yanks Skip onto his shoulders and gives him a huge BusterBomb (Powerbomb into Jack)!

 

SKIP BEAU & JACK DECOLT WIN VIA DQ (17:06)

EXPRESS DELIVERY RETAIN

 

Blokcbuste continues the beatdown on Skip, before setting up a table at ringside and powerbombing him through it!

 

BLOCKBUSTER

I told ya, Skip! You ain't nothin'! You're never gonna win a damn thing

as long as I'm around.

 

[Self]

 

Zeus Arrives . . . C-

DICE ELDERBERRY VS GNAW . . . D+

Sayeed Ali Votes . . . D+

Joey Poison Promo . . . C

Ian Identity Promo . . . D-

LAST MAN STANDING PREVIEW . . . D+

Zeus Maxmillion & Dan DaLay Confrontation . . . B-

FROZEN NORTH VS WOOLABONGA BOGANS . . . C

Drones Get Locked Up . . . D-

JACK & SKIP VS EXPRESS DELIVERY . . . B-

Blockbuster Tables . . . B

 

FINAL RATING . . . B-

0.82 rating

 

 

You'd think the lockdown would give me more writing time, but I'm getting back into video games, and Luigi's Mansion 3 keeps calling to me.

 

In DeColt news, Steve has cracked his sternum. I'm stunned he's still wrestling actually. Now a USPW lower midcarder alongside Ricky. Meanwhile, in Stone news, since BHOTWG won the gigantic bidding war over Edd Stone in April... they haven't used him once. No wrestling for 4 months. They should have let me have him.

 

Edit: I didn't mean the latch tag match so much actually as some of the 2 vs 2 and 3 vs 3 that went before it. It was more a general observation.

 

I write for brevity, so I don't write every tag in those matches. I only tend to include the hot tag, storyline tags, or if it's in their moveset. Jack DeColt may read as the legal man at the end of tonight's main event, but he could easily have tagged Skip before the end, if that was a necessary part of the finish.

 

@Self, What is the In-Game Gimmick of Gnaw?

 

I used Mythological Creature. And it's Awful. Poor DWN.

 

 

Next Sunday on CGC Title Bout Wrestling, it's the Go Home show before Last Man Standing!

 

Tables Match: Blockbuster vs Skip Beau

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs Zeus & Stevie!

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford

[Regis]

Tables Match: Blockbuster vs Skip Beau

Skip tricks his former best friend to claim the victory.

 

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs Zeus & Stevie!

I foresee a heal turn on the way for Double-I, so he loses after refusing the potion.

 

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford

We hate you Express Delivery! Boo! BOOOOOOOOOOO!

[DAVEFAN95]

Tables Match: Blockbuster

 

Skip may find a way to sneak a win in this but I'll go with Buster

 

Zeus & Stevie!

 

These guys are a better team

 

Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford

 

The drone wil take the fall

[Zergon]

Tables Match: Blockbuster vs Skip Beau

I don´t see Skip being quite on Blockbuster´s level, at least not yet so I have to go with Blockbuster here. That said, tables match is one of those matches were I could see underdog taking an occasional win via evading their opponents attack wich could lead the attacked crashing through a table if one happens to be conviently placed.

 

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs Zeus & Stevie!

Ian could be going towards heel turn but even if that´s the case, seems like it will take bit more build up so I´d assume we see similar situation than in last show here, with Poison offering a potion but Ian turning it down

 

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford

Well, there´s a Drone in the heel team and that´s about as far I needed to look at this before deciding who winning team likely is.

[Kitarzu]

Next Sunday on CGC Title Bout Wrestling, it's the Go Home show before Last Man Standing!

 

Tables Match: Blockbuster vs Skip Beau

 

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs Zeus & Stevie!

 

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford

[Hyde Hill]

<p>Tables Match: <strong>Blockbuster</strong> vs Skip Beau <em>For now Blockbuster is higher up te pecking order</em></p><p>

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs <strong>Zeus & Stevie!</strong> <em>True tag team wins</em></p><p>

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs<strong> Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford</strong> <em>Drone to take a fall</em></p>

[shawn_waters]

Tables Match: Blockbuster vs Skip Beau

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs Zeus & Stevie!

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford

[Temes1066]

Tables Match: Blockbuster vs Skip Beau

Comment: The Heels need a win, plus a Tables Match seems like Blockbuster's kind of match.

 

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs Zeus & Stevie!

Comment: Zeus is the World Champ

 

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford

Comment: The Drones are jobbers

[Rateddc]

<p>Tables Match: <strong>Blockbuster</strong> vs Skip Beau</p><p>

Joey Poison & Ian Identity vs <strong>Zeus & Stevie</strong>!</p><p>

Philippe LaGrenier, Dice Elderberry & Drone #2 vs <strong>Greaser, Gnaw & Crusher Haverford</strong></p>

[Self]

 

Sunday Week 1 September

Late Evening Evening on Maple Leaf Sports

Lethbridge, Alberta

3,000 in attendance SELL OUT

 

 

Davis Ditterich "We are just five days away from Last Man Standing, where CGC World Champion Zeus Maxmillion faces his toughest challenge yet as he takes on "The Immortal", "The Status Quo", the wielder of the weather-controlling magic tomahawk himself; Dan DaLay. But tonight is a happier occassion. Stevie Grayson has returned, and Zeus finally reunites with his best friend in tag team action, taking on Joey Poison and a partner of his choosing."

 

 

IN-RING

 

 

BLOCKBUSTER

I'm going to win the Last Man Standing Rumble and there's not a

damn thing any of you can do about it. What? You think because

Alex DeColt is letting you vote on the entry order you can make a

difference? Fat chance. It doesn't matter how many of you worthless

fans vote me down, I'm going to steamroll through the competition.

I never get any help. Nothing from no one! And I always end up on

top. So go ahead and vote for your teeny-bopper wrestlers and their

skinny-boy dance routines. I'm gonna-

 

 

SKIP BEAU

Cut the lone wolf act, Blockbuster. I voted for you every year. I helped

you win the CGC World Title and I helped you defend it, again and again.

You were never a one man army, and pretty soon you're going to realise it.

 

BLOCKBUSTER

All you ever were was the fat kid who hid behind me at the Power House.

You walked into prison and you didn't knock out the biggest bad ass in

the place, you bent over and became his bitch. And now you're doing

the same, buddying up to Jack DeColt. Big mistake. Jack's a has been

who's gonna get his ass kicked by Jack Bruce on Friday. If you think he's

even gonna be capable of helping you tonight you're out of your mind.

 

SKIP BEAU

No shame in asking for help. The only mistake I made was asking the wrong

person. You never cared about anyone but yourself. All these years Jack has

been trying to help me and I'm finally ready to listen. Maybe I can stand on

my own. Maybe I'm not worthless. Maybe he didn't make me run laps

until I threw up to make fun of me. Maybe he did it so I'd have enough

gas in the tank to put you through a table tonight! I'm nobody's bitch

tonight, Blockbuster. Skip Beau is feeling the Flow, and I'm gonna be

feeling it all the way through Last Man Standing. I'm going to personally

throw you out of the ring, just like I did three weeks ago.

 

BLOCKBUSTER

You... You- You got lucky you fat- little- fat twerp! You ain't gonna

make it to Last Man Standing! You're going through another table, Skip!

You're dead meat, ya hear me! And if you do make it... Thumbs Down;

Skip Beau! Thumbs up... I don't care. One of the Drones. The little one.

You're dead meat!

 

 

DRAKE YOUNG VS DONOVAN BOON

Davis Ditterich "The Woolabonga Bogans are tied one-win-apiece in a battle for tag team supremacy with Frozen North. They'll settle things this Friday at 'Last Man Standing'."

 

Young takes offense to Australia's treatment of their indiginous peoples, but his left hooks and radical knee jerks are no match for Donovan's Kangeroo-Fu. Boomerang Kick! Double Underhook Powerbomb! 1... 2... 3.

 

DONOVAN BOON WINS (6:19)

 

 

 

GREASER

Hey! You think ya pretty smart, don't ya Express Delivery??? Ya put

me in a box! Put Mario in a box! Put Trick in a box! Everyone's going

in boxes! Well now the chickens are coming home to roast! It's time

to do some votin'. And you boys are goin' thumbs down! Thumbs up;

Gnaw! Thumbs down; Hugh Anky!

 

 

IN-RING

 

 

CGC Tag Team Champions; Express Delivery, make their way to the ring. Customer Service Specialist DIRTY DICE ELDERBERRY gets between them and any fans who might have complaints they want to share, while the DELIVERY DRONES do their best to not make their bosses mad. #2 makes the mistake of not opening the ropes for LaGrenier, who yells at him, threatening to fire him. #5 tries to appease him by bringing him the microphone.

 

PHILIPPE LaGRENIER

Express Delivery have one simple dream; to hold a monopoly of

championships and take over Canadian Golden Combat. Ze next step

on our road to dominance is zis Friday's Last Man Standing Rumble,

but zere is a problem. Ze Greasy biker man, he votes us down. Ze

blubbering Big Baby, he votes us down. Ze Tiger. Ze Crusher. Ze

Imbecile Ian Idiot. Zey all vote us down. Zey all stand in ze way of

progress. What zey forget is; we have numbers on our side. We

are ze biggest corporation in wrestling, and now it's time for

us to use our votes.

 

LaGrenier shoves the microphone in #2's hands, looking smug.

 

DELIVERY DRONE #2

Thumbs up; Hugh Ancrie. Thumbs down... Philippe LaGrenier.

 

LaGrenier is stunned. Ancrie smirks.

 

DELIVERY DRONE #4

Thumbs up; Hugh Ancrie. Thumbs down; Philippe LaGrenier.

 

LaGrenier is furious. Ancrie celebrates.

 

DELIVERY DRONE #5

Thumbs up; Hugh Ancrie. Thumbs down. Philippe LaGrenier.

 

DELIVERY DRONE #6

Nykščiai aukštyn Hugh Ancrie. Nykščiai žemyn Philippe LaGrenier.

 

LaGrenier stomps around the ring, kicking the ropes... but a smile is forming. Ancrie is mock appalled at the Drones.

 

HUGH ANCRIE

How dare you, Drones? Philippe LaGrenier is your superior. How

could you use your votes to make him enter earlier in the Last

Man Standing Rumble, unless... You were ordered to do that under

threat of termination. Unless this is all part of Express Delivery's

hostile takeover.

 

PHILIPPE LaGRENIER

If we leave ze entry order to you stupid fans, Express Delivery

could be seperated, no? But if I enter early, alongside ze Drones,

we will have ze numbers advantage. We rest of ze field will file

in one by one and be like lambs to ze slaughter. Thumbs up; Hugh

Ancrie. Thumbs down; Greaser.

 

HUGH ANCRIE

Thumbs up; Dice Elderberry. Thumbs down; Philippe LaGrenier.

 

DICE ELDERBERRY

(Burp) Up; Hugh Ancrie. (Farts) Down; Philippe LaGrenier.

 

DICE ELDERBERRY, PHILIPPE LaGRENIER & DRONE #2

GNAW, GREASER & CRUSHER HAVERFORD

Davis Ditterich "Express Delivery has a plan in mind for this Friday's Rumble match, but no matter how much they game the entry order, they've made a lot of enemies in the past few months."

 

Gnaw quickly takes out the Drone with a tiger suplex and wants a piece of LaGrenier, but he'll need to take his complaint to the Customer Service Specialist first, and Dice won't be throw around so easily. He overpowers Gnaw and now LaGrenier's happy to get involved, covering the ferocious feline with stamps. Greaser gets the tag and tries his luck, but none of his hammers and wrenches and drills can get him past his ex-partner Elderberry. Crusher can. He overpowers the 350lber, gives him a huge body slam, and almost gets his hands on LaGrenier when #2 flies in! Crusher catches him! Full Nelson Slam! LaGrenier bails as Crushers get the 1... 2... 3.

 

GNAW, GREASER & CRUSHER HAVERFORD WIN (8:20)

 

 

 

RUSTY MILLS

G'Day Frozen North. Bet you boys feel pretty proud of yourselves for

beating me and Don-O last week, but in our books, that doesn't make

you better than us. That just makes us even. And at Last Man Standing

we're going to find out who the best team really is.

 

DONOVAN BOON

Too right, Rust. Too right.

 

 

THIS FRIDAY

 

CGC World Title: Dan DaLay challenges Zeus Maxmillion

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

Jack DeColt vs Jack Bruce

... and the 30-man Last Man Standing Rumble match

 

 

JOEY POISON & IAN IDENTITY

ZEUS & STEVIE

/w Diablo DeVille

 

Davis Ditterich "Joey Posion's looking for a successor and he thinks he's found one. He's chosen Ian Identity as his partner tonight to take on legendary CGC duo Zeus & Stevie; reunited after years apart."

 

Ian refuses the magic potion, so Joey drinks it himself and transforms into the unfeeling, unblinking monster Poison. As thrilled as they are to be teaming once more, nothing Zeus & Stevie try works. Left hands have no effect. Peppered strikes are shrugged off. Poison takes his opponents apart with right hands and isolates Stevie. Ian can't help but be impressed... but after six minutes the potion wears off and he's back to regular old Joey, fleeing to his partner at the first sign of trouble.

 

Stevie dodges, ducks, dips, dives, dodges and makes the tag. Zeus is thrilled to meet Identity in glorious combat! Left hands meet instense forearms! Headbutts meet incredible dropkicks! Zeus powers free of an attempted Incapacitator (Double Underhook Armbar) and hits the Thunder Bolt (Sit Out Powerbomb) but Joey sneaks up and ties him up in the Antidote Web! 1... 2... Stevie makes the save. A Tornado DDT send Joey tumbling out of the ring, and a vial of potion falling at Ian's feet. Will he drink it? He doesn't get the chance. Diablo reaches in and snatches it! Ian's outnumbered and Joey's already halfway up the ramp. Spinebuster! Shades of Grayson (Moonsault Press)! 1... 2... 3!

 

ZEUS & STEVIE WIN (14:08)

 

 

 

BOBBY THOMAS

I may not be challenging for the CGC World Title, but in five days

my injury will be healed, I'll be medically cleared to compete, and

I will be the Last Man Standing. Monsters come and demons go,

but Bobby Thomas never quits.

 

 

 

JOEY POISON

Why do you resist, Ian? You know you can't be the Last Man

Standing without my help. That's why I chose you to be my

partner tonight. I'm past my prime, and you saw what the

potion can do for me. Imagine what it can dofor you. Six

minutes could be sixty minutes! I'm getting tired of asking,

Ian. At Last Man Standing you need to make a choice. If

you don't want it, I'm sure someone else will.

 

 

TABLES MATCH

 

BLOCKBUSTER VS SKIP BEAU

Davis Ditterich "I'd like to say this is a battle between two former friends, but the friendship sure seemed to have been one sided."

 

Both men are fired up, but only Skip feels The Flow! Level 1! He shimmies and shakes and strikes out with jabs. Level 2! Can’t touch him! Skip’s smooth moves evade attacks with ease. Level 3! He swivels his hips- but it's like slamming into a brick wall. Blockbuster stops his former 'friend's' Flow with head-banging, before shredding and thrashing and beating him like a drum. Blockbuster sets up a table and Skip begs for forgiveness... and Blockbuster falls for the ruse! Eye pokes! Hair pulling! Fish hooking! It's all legal and it opens Blockbuster up for Skip to hit some innovative backbreakers!

 

Skip sets up a table, but every time he tries to slam Blockbuster through it the Heavy Metal Mauler powers free. Blockbuster tries to return the favour but Skip weasels away. He tries a BusterBomb (Powerbomb into Table against the Turnbuckles) but Skip counters with a huracaranna, narrowly missing the table. Blockbuster's had enough. Low Blow! BusterBomb! Skip goes crashing through the table.

 

BLOCKBUSTER WINS (12:34)

 

Blockbuster isn't done. He rips the pad off of the top turnbuckle and prepares to-

 

 

JACK DECOLT runs to the ring, standing between Blockbuster and his victim. Blockbuster thinks about it. Does he run? Or attack?

 

 

JACK BRUCE

Helloooooooo Jack DeColt. Your seven weeks are almost up. Are you

ready for your second date with destiny? Are you prepared to put on

your dancing shoes and take the stage with the Supreme Megastar of

the Bruce-iverse for an encore performance for the ages? I gave you

seven weeks and what have you done, DeColt? You beat up a dainty

doppleganger. You lost to some postmen. I'm disappointed in you,

Jack. I thought you'd be ready. I thought you'd take me seriously. At

Last Man Standing, I'm taking your title. I'm taking your pride. Canadian

Golden Combat will have a new hero. I've got ants-

 

JACK DECOLT

-in your pants and you're ready to dance? Is that what's you're going

to say? You gonna sing your song and dance your dance? And after

that you'll make another reference to the Bruce-iverse. "The Headliner!"

"The Showstopper!" "The Be-All, End-All!". I've had business to take

care of inside the ring, but outside I'm been doing my homework, Bruce.

Better late than never. You want me to be ready? I'm ready! I'm willing!

I'm able! You want to walk into my country; DeColt Country, like you

rule the roost? Over my dead body. This Friday at Last Man Standing

I'm going to show you exactly... WHO RULES???

 

DECOLTS RULE!

 

[Self]

 

Blockbuster & Skip Beau Confrontation . . . C+

DRAKE YOUNG VS DONOVAN BOON . . . D

Greaser Promo . . . D+

Express Delivery Vote . . . C+

EXPRESS DELIVERY PLC VS GREASER, CRUSHER & GNAW . . . D

Woolabonga Bogans Promo . . . C-

IDENTITY & POISON VS ZEUS & STEVIE . . . C-

Bobby Thomas Promo . . . C

Joey Poison Promo . . . C-

BLOCKBUSTER VS SKIP BEAU . . . C

Jack Bruce Arrives . . . A

 

FINAL RATING . . . C+

1.23 Rating on Maple Leaf Sports (up from 0.84)

 

 

Wowzers. That TV rating! Were people psyched for Blockbuster/Skip? Mad for tables? Did Bruce's appearance get spoilered? Or did we just hop over a simple mathematical threshold into the next level of popularity. I'm going to pretend it was the tables. I was pleasantly surprised by the main event. Blockbuster vs Skip had previously scored a D+ so I came very close to putting Zeus/Stevie on last. I worried over nothing, and the appearance of Jack Bruce took the show to the next level.

 

In further Last Man Standing problems, Hugh DeArrrske will not be back in time. I didn't think he had a show booked in Japan for Friday, but I guess he's not flying back just for a Rumble. I don't blame him. Hailey Hunter's got some hunting to do. Two mystery men for Friday.

 

 

This Friday... It's Last Man Standing!

 

CGC World TItle: Dan DaLay vs Zeus Maxmillion ©

Jack Bruce vs Jack DeColt

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

 

30-man Last Man Standing Rumble Match

Who will win?

Who will be the Final Four?

Most Eliminations?

Longest Lasting?

Shortest Lasting?

Will Ian drink Joey's potion?

Which Drone will last the longest?

Who will do better? Blockbuster or Skip Beau?

Who will do better? Bobby Thomas or Diablo DeVille?

Who will do better? Greaser or Dice Elderberry?

Make some predictions!

 

FINAL-ISH LIST OF ENTRANTS

<table width="60%"><tr><td width="33%" align="left" valign="center">Blockbuster

Bobby Thomas

Crusher Haverford

Delivery Drone #2

Delivery Drone #4

Delivery Drone #5

Delivery Drone #6

Diablo DeVille

Dice Elderberry

Donovan Boon</td><td width="33%" align="center" valign="center">Drake Young

DT Rush

Gnaw

Greaser

Hugh Ancrie

Ian Identity

Jason Tundra

Joey Poison

K-Squared

Kevin Lomas</td><td width="33%" align="right" valign="center">Mystery #1

Mystery #2

Penfold Perdition

Philippe LaGrenier

Robin DaLay

Rusty Mills

Sayeed Ali

Shane Nelson

Skip Beau

Stevie Grayson</td></tr></table>

[DAVEFAN95]

Zeus

 

I could see this going Dan's way. With it likely being one of the last CGC show you do in a diary, your love for the guy and this being what you described as your final hurrah with CGC. But I'll go with Zeus cause he's one of my favourites

 

Jack DeColt

 

Jack already put Bruce over, Bruce needs to repay the favour

 

Woolabonga Bogans

 

The Frozen North needs to go away

 

Winner - Ian Identity

 

Feel like Joey's going to get him to drink the potion, by force or otherwise

 

Final Four - Blockbuster, Hugh Ancrie, Skip Beau

 

Ancrie will enter late due to their plan, Blockbuster will have a good go of it and Skip is at a level where a final four finish seems right.

 

Most Eliminations - Blockbuster

 

Seems like a good a good bet

 

Longest Lasting - Phillippe LaGrenier

 

Seems destined to last awhile

 

Shortest - One of the drones

 

Ian will drink the potion but maybe not by choice

 

Drone 5 will stay the longest it's a guess

 

Buster will do better than Skip, he'll be runner up

 

Let's give Bobby more mins than Diablo

 

Dice will last longer than Greaser, more friends.

[The Lloyd]

This Friday... It's Last Man Standing!

 

CGC World TItle: Dan DaLay vs Zeus Maxmillion ©

Jack Bruce vs Jack DeColt

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

 

30-man Last Man Standing Rumble Match

Who will win? Stevie Grayson!!

Who will be the Final Four? Blockbuster, Ian Identity, Joey Poison and Stevie G (not that one)

Most Eliminations? Blockbuster

Longest Lasting? Diablo DeVille

Shortest Lasting? Delivery Drone 5

Will Ian drink Joey's potion? Heeeeell Yeah!!

Which Drone will last the longest? 2

Who will do better? Blockbuster or Skip Beau? Blockbuster

Who will do better? Bobby Thomas or Diablo DeVille? DeVille

Who will do better? Greaser or Dice Elderberry? Elderberry

Make some predictions!

[Zergon]

CGC World TItle: Dan DaLay vs Zeus Maxmillion ©

Don´t see Zeus dropping the belt just yet.

 

Jack Bruce vs Jack DeColt

It´s DeColt show so I´d assume Bruce loses this time.

 

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

Thinking newer team wins here but liekly not clean in order to give Bogans an out.

 

30-man Last Man Standing Rumble Match

Who will win? Sayeed Ali

I haven´t checked who has thumbs up or downs but after looking the list of participants, I go with Ali

 

Who will be the Final Four? Sayeed Ali, Blockbuster, Skip Beau and Bobby Thomas

Hard to guess but I go with these four as all of them are big enough names that they are likely doing well on this one

 

Most Eliminations? Blockbuster

Keeping Blockbuster strong while not giving him the win

 

Longest Lasting? Philippe LaGrenier

He got lots of thumps down and is decently high ranking guy on your roster so Philippe feels like the safest bet to me.

 

Shortest Lasting? Delivery Drone #4

Pretty sure it´s one of the Drones

 

Will Ian drink Joey's potion? Yes

Completing the heel turn in a big match, sadly for Ian, I don´t think it´s going to be enough to win this whole thing.

 

Which Drone will last the longest? Delivery Drone #5

Yeah, no idea and very much depends on the entry order so just a complete guess

 

Who will do better? Blockbuster or Skip Beau?

Not entirely sure how this is counted, is it just who last longer, or which one is eliminated later or does eliminating other wrestlers count as well? Either way, I think Skip is going to eliminate Blockbuster and because of that, I´d say Skip did better even though I had Blockbuster as the one with most eliminations.

 

Who will do better? Bobby Thomas or Diablo DeVille?

I had Bobby in final four while Diablo wasn´t there so kind of had to go this way.

 

Who will do better? Greaser or Dice Elderberry?

Dice has lots of backup on this match while Greaser has none so going with Dice here.

[Regis]

CGC World TItle: Dan DaLay vs Zeus Maxmillion ©

That big bully has no chance against the power of a god!

 

Jack Bruce vs Jack DeColt

Because This! IS! DECOLT COUNTRY!

 

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

Strewth!

[shawn_waters]

CGC World TItle: Dan DaLay vs Zeus Maxmillion ©

Jack Bruce vs Jack DeColt

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

 

30-man Last Man Standing Rumble Match

 

Who will win? Diablo DeVille

Who will be the Final Four?

Diablo, Sayeed, Bobby Thomas, Ian Identity

Most Eliminations? Sayeed

Longest Lasting? Ian

Shortest Lasting? K-Squared

Will Ian drink Joey's potion? Hell no

Which Drone will last the longest? #5

Who will do better? Blockbuster or Skip Beau?

Who will do better? Bobby Thomas or Diablo DeVille?

Who will do better? Greaser or Dice Elderberry?

[Regis]

30-man Last Man Standing Rumble Match

 

Who will win? Bobby Thomas

The Eternal Everyman continues his ride to the top

 

Who will be the Final Four? Bobby Thomas, Hugh Ancrie, Philippe LaGrenier, Ian Identity

Express Delivery need to do well, only to fall at the final hurdle.

 

Most Eliminations? Blockbuster

The Hardcore Heel looks strong but ultimately is taken out.

 

Longest Lasting? Philippe LaGrenier

Protected by his minions, Phil goes the distance.

 

Shortest Lasting? Drake Young

Just go backstage, watch some Contrapoints and try to be less of a dick. I believe in you, Drake! Or at least in your ability to pull your head out of your arse.

 

Will Ian drink Joey's potion? Without question.

Ian has been in search of a new gimmick, this could give him the push he needs.

 

Which Drone will last the longest? ????

I don't know the Powerhouse team that well, so I genuinely can't tell the difference.

 

Who will do better? Blockbuster or Skip Beau?

Sorry, Skip. You'll get your moment in the sun eventually.

 

Who will do better? Bobby Thomas or Diablo DeVille?

I have other plans for Diablo.

 

Who will do better? Greaser or Dice Elderberry?

Greaser dumps his former partner but gets ousted by the rest of Express Delivery.

 

Make some predictions! Puny Mortal Stevie eliminates Diablo DeVille

The ongoing battle for the soul of Zeus Maximillion continues!

[Rateddc]

CGC World TItle: Dan DaLay vs Zeus Maxmillion ©

Jack Bruce vs Jack DeColt

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

 

30-man Last Man Standing Rumble Match

Who will win? Ian Identity

Who will be the Final Four? Skip Beau, Philippe LaGrenier, Ian Identity, Bobby Thomas

Most Eliminations? Blockbuster

Longest Lasting? Philippe LaGrenier

Shortest Lasting? Drake Young

Will Ian drink Joey's potion? Yes

Which Drone will last the longest? #2

Who will do better? Blockbuster or Skip Beau?

Who will do better? Bobby Thomas or Diablo DeVille?

Who will do better? Greaser or Dice Elderberry?

[misterioso]

CGC World Title: Dan DaLay vs Zeus Maxmillion ©

Jack Bruce vs Jack DeColt

Frozen North vs Woolabonga Bogans

 

30-man Last Man Standing Rumble Match

Who will win? Bobby Thomas

Who will be the Final Four? Bobby Thomas, Joey Poison, Skip Beau, Diablo DeVille

Most Eliminations? Blockbuster

Longest Lasting? Philippe LaGrenier

Shortest Lasting? Donovan Boon

Will Ian drink Joey's potion? No, and then Joey will eliminate him

Which Drone will last the longest? #5

Who will do better? Blockbuster or Skip Beau? Skip Beau

Who will do better? Bobby Thomas or Diablo DeVille? Bobby Thomas

Who will do better? Greaser or Dice Elderberry? Dice

 

Wildcard Prediction: Bobby Thomas uses one of his Wishes to enter the Rumble match last.

[Self]

Friday Week 2 September

Live on PPV Services

Ottawa Rams Stadium, Ontario

9,874 in attendance

 

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION

Dan DaLay. You seek a return to the way things were, but I will

not go down without a fight. I will not fall to bullies and thieves. I

will not fall to those that throw their weight around and take what

does not belong to them. I will not fall to you, Dan of the DaLays.

When this night is done Canadian Golden Combat will still have a

Champion it can be proud of.

 

STEVIE GRAYSON

OhmyGodDiabloIjustrealisedthisisyourfirstLastManStandingRumbleIhave

somuchIneedtoteachyouthisissoexcitinglet'sgo!

 

Stevie runs off. Diablo glares at Zeus.

 

DIABLO DEVILLE

Mark my words, 'noble' Zeus. If Dan DaLay beats you tonight and unleashes

me upon this land... I'm ripping his throat out first.

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION

Few in this land possess the spirit and energy of Stevie, Son of Gray.

You will learn to love him, as I did, years ago.

 

 

/w Isabella Encarta

Jason Tundra & Kenny Lomas

FROZEN NORTH

WOOLABONGA BOGANS

Rusty Mills & Donovan Boon

 

Davis Ditterich "Which of these two experienced tag teams is the best? We'll find out right here, right now."

 

Both teams try to out-wit and out-do the other with expert teamwork. Quick tags! Blind tags! Secret tags! Fake tags! It's all too much for referee Royce Greig to follow. Everyone just get in and fight! The two teams do so with gusto, but the Woolabonga Bogan's ultra-smooth double teams seem to be winning the day. Tundra goes for the Hailstone (Flying Back Elbow) but Mills saves Boon and Tundra wipes out Lomas! Billabong Boomerang (Slingshot into Heel Kick)! 1... 2... 3!

 

WOOLABONGA BOGANS WIN (10:26)

 

 

ALEX DECOLT'S OFFICE

 

 

ALEX DECOLT

Quick question Hailey... Who is this small child and why have you

brought him to my office? Is he lost and looking for his parents. Is

he going to lead us to your first mystery fighter?

 

CHRISTIAN VARS

Hell Mr. DeColt. It's a pleasure to meet you.

 

HAILEY HUNTER

I know he isn't your usual cup of tea, but I think you're going to

be very impressed when you see Christian Vars in action. I think

he'll make a spectacular addition to the Last Man Standing Rumble

and the CGC roster.

 

ALEX DECOLT

What is he? 120lbs with rocks in his pockets? He looks like he'd

break in half if I looked at him the wrong way. I'm not putting

him in the ring with 29 trained killers.

 

CHRISTIAN VARS

I'm standing right here.

 

HAILEY HUNTER

Trust me, Alex. I know what I'm doing and I know what I've

found. Have I ever let you down before? Christian Vars is

going to make an impact. I stake my reputation on it.

 

 

CGC CANADIAN TITLE MATCH

 

JACK BRUCE VS JACK DeCOLT

 

Davis Ditterich "Jack Bruce defeated Jack DeColt at WrestleFestival, and now he wants his title. Will the Last DeColt Standng remain standing?"

 

Bruce struts and dances to try to goad the Wild Man, but DeColt is wise to his mind games, countering the abdominal stretch and playing Bruce's ribs like a guitar! The audacity! Bruce is livid but Jack has his vintage offense scouted, powering out of the Long Island Trio (Rolling Vertical Suplexes) and refusing the Welcome to NYC (Elbow Drop, Leg Drop, Splash Combo). Jack Bruce is a patient man, however, waiting for DeColt to inevitably run wild before countering his predictable right hands and shoulder tackles. Bruce resorts to the fundamentals to break the Wild Man down, but DeColt can absorb a tremendous amount of punishment and keeps on swinging.

 

DeColt runs wild with right hands and shoulder tackles, this time mixing up the order to throw Bruce for a loop before Elbowing! Him! In! The! Back! DeColt hoists him up on his shoulders, but Bruce unleashes a piercing high note to escape and gives him a Wild Ride (Whiplash Slam) of his own! 1... 2... DeColt kicks out and thinks fast. New York Minute (Legdrop Bulldog) to Bruce! 1... 2... but the Cream of the Crop won't be beaten by his own move. DeColt calls for DECOLT LEGACY, putting it on shuffle to keep Bruce guessing!

 

Running Bulldog!

High Fly Elbow!

DeColt Thrust!

Tower Collapse Superplex!

Iron Claw!

End of Days (Bow & Arrow Sleeper)!

 

Jack Bruce taps!

 

JACK DECOLT WINS (12:48)

 

 

BACKSTAGE

 

 

ALEX DECOLT paces back and forth, looking at his watch, when he notices HUSTLE KING watching him.

 

ALEX DECOLT

Do I know you?

 

HUSTLE KING

No, but you wanna. Name's Hustle King, and I can't help but notice that

you're about to go down in history as the first sucker to put on a 29-man

rumble. What a shame! But I'm about to turn that frown upside down.

Hailey Hunter can't get you that all-important last man, but I can. 245lbs

of African Perfection. I'm the American Dream, baby, and it's just your

lucky day that I find myself in the great white north in your time of need.

 

ALEX DECOLT

You're a fighter?

 

HUSTLE KING

Fighter. Artist. Entrepenuer. I'm whatever you want me to be. Anything

you have in mind the Hustler can provide. Hailey Hunter's selling you

shrimp. I'm bringing you the sizzle and the steak.

 

ALEX DECOLT

You know what? I like the sound of that. You've got it. I'm giving you the

opportunity. You talk the talk but let's see you walk the walk. Impress me.

 

HUSTLE KING

Opportunity? No, Hustle King doesn't work for opporunity. Hustle King brings

opportunity to you. You want me? You sign the contract.

 

Hustler D hands Alex a contract. The Thinking Man's DeColt gives it a quick look.

 

ALEX DECOLT

You want how much per fight??? You think I'd sign someone I've

never even heard of to that kind of money? Do you think I'm an idiot?

 

HUSTLE KING

I think you're smart, and lucky to have a chance of a lifetime fall in your

lap. Clock's ticking, DeColt. I could just as easily go watch the show. I've

never seen a 29-man Rumble before. I'm sure it won't be too weird.

 

Alex looks at his watch. Time's running out and there's no Hailey in sight. Hustler offers him a pen. Alex doesn't like it... but begrudingly signs.

 

ALEX DECOLT

You'd better be worth it.

 

 

HAILEY HUNTER arrives just in time to see Hustle King leave.

 

HAILEY HUNTER

I see you've met my second find. Don't promise him anything.

I told him this is a tryout, nothing more.

 

ALEX DECOLT

... Oh.

 

 

LAST MAN STANDING RUMBLE MATCH

 

1) HUSTLE KING

2) CHRISTIAN VARS

Two newcomers collide. The muscular Hustle King doesn't think much of his teeny, tiny opponent, but Vars uses incredible gymnastics and insane flexibility to take to the skies. Cartwheels! Backflips! The Hustler can't believe it!

 

3) DELIVERY DRONE #2

Express Delivery's least popular Drone hits the ring to cover the newcomers with stamps. King talks his way into an alliance, but quickly turns on #2 as soon as he thinks he can pull a fast one.

 

4) DELIVERY DRONE #6

The two Drones team up and King's seen enough. He has his contract and leaves the ring (Elimination 1: Hustle King - 3m 20s). Together the two Drones are able to ground Vars, but every time they throw him out, he lands on the apron and springboards back inside!

 

5) DELIVERY DRONE #5

Vars has #2 and #6 in trouble, but the arrival of a third Drone is too much for him. Three-on-One they cover him in more stamps, throw him out (Elimination 2: Christian Vars - 5m 10s), and prepare for the next unlucky soul to enter.

 

6) CRUSHER HAVERFORD

Uh oh. The Drones are terrified as the Crusher enters, gigantic and ripped. Body Smashes! Lawn Darts! Full Nelson Slam! He effortlessly hurls one out of the ring (Elimination 3: Delivery Drone #6 - 4m 04s) as the other two beg for mercy.

 

7) PHILIPPE LaGRENIER

LaGrenier squares off against the Crusher; muscular adonis versus muscular adonis. They test each other's strength... and Crusher is stronger! The Drones swarm in to help their boss, but even three on one they can't overpower him! LaGrenier's teetering over the ropes!

 

8) DELIVERY DRONE #4

How about four-on-one? Express Delivery's tiniest yet most popular Drone flies in at the last moment to save his boss! Express Delivery cover the Crusher with stamps but he's still fighting. He flings #5 out of the ring (Elimination 4: Delivery Drone #5 - 5m 10s) but takes his eye off of LaGrenier, who tips him over the top (Elimination 5: Crusher Haverford - 3m 54s). Furious, LaGrenier regroups by yelling at his remaining Drones.

 

9) K-SQUARED

K-2 drops some sick beats on the Drones before LaGrenier lays him out with a Package Piledriver and leaves him for the Drones to throw over the top rope (Elimination 6: K-Squared - 0m 46s).

 

10) DT RUSH

Philippe tries to do the same to DT as he rattles the Drones with jabs... but Rush feels him coming in the vibrations of the ring. Knee Lift! Trapping Headbutts! The Drones swarm and there's just too many of them. (Elimination 7: DT Rush- 1m 11s).

 

11) PENFOLD PERDITION

The Drones swarm on Big Baby and cover him with stamps. LaGrenier wants to stay out of the way and rest up, but #2 and #4 are unable to lift the 399lber over the top rope on their own.

 

12) DRAKE YOUNG

 

DRAKE YOUNG

Looks like someone needs a little help. For too long corporations have

appropriated and profitted off of minorities and their cultures... without

my help. I'm tired of losing! I'm tired of going it alone! I want what you

guys have. A team behind you! Money behind you! I want health

insurance, damn it! I want to be part of Express Delivery!

 

Watching his men struggle to lift Penfold, LaGrenier accepts. Drake takes the shirt off of an eliminated Drone and hops aboard!

 

13) DONOVAN BOON

LaGrenier's trio of redshirts start to lift Penfold over the top rope, but here comes the Boon with Kangeroo-Fu and Drop-Bearobics! He's about to get his hands on LaGrenier when Drake whallops him from behind. The Drones cover the scuzzy Aussie in stamps... but here comes Penfold, tossing out the first Drone he can get his hands on! (Elimination 8: Delivery Drone #2 - 15m 21s)

 

14) JASON TUNDRA

Penfold and Boon join forces to kick some Express Delivery ass, until Jason Tundra freezes Donovan's momentum with the Hailstone (Flying Back Elbow) and single-mindedly grinds him into the mat. Philippe retreats to a corner to save his strength, barking orders at the remaining Drones to team up on Penfold.

 

15) ROBIN DALAY

Robin DaLay is excited to follow in his father's footsteps by bullying anyone smaller than him, delivering clubbing blows to Bogans, Frozens and Drones with little thought to alliances. He wades into Express Delivery, while Boon turns the tables on Tundra.

 

16) KEVIN LOMAS

Frozen North join forces to beat down Boon. Eager to save his new friend, Penfold fires up with Belly Butts, sending the Drones flying... but he gets blindsided by LaGrenier and every villain in the ring teams up to get him over the top (Elimination 9: Penfold Perdition - 8m 40s).

 

17) RUSTY MILLS

Rusty sprints to the ring to join his partner and take Frozen North down under with some ultra smooth double teams (Elimination 10: Kevin Lomas - 2m 01s) (Elimination 11: Jason Tundra - 5m 03s). The Scuzzy Aussie Duo run roughshod over everyone; an unbeatable team... and LaGrenier can't have that. He rushes Boon and muscles him out of the ring (Elimination 12; Donovan Boon 7m 20) before fleeing behind his Drones to escape Rusty's wrath.

 

18) SKIP BEAU

Fired up and ready to go- Skip Beau feels The Flow! Level 1! He shimmies and shakes and strikes out with jabs. Level 2! Can’t touch him! Skip’s smooth moves evade attacks with ease. Level 3! He swivels his hips- but Robin clocks him from behind. Skip begs off, pleading for mercy. Robin falls for it and turns his back- but it's a ruse! Skip throws him out (Elimination 13; Robin DaLay 7m 09s).

 

19) IAN IDENTITY

Identity goes straight for Express Delivery! Intense Forearms! (Elimination 14; Delivery Drone #4 - 16m 40s) Incredible Dropkicks! (Elimination 15; Delivery Drone Drake - 10m 57s). LaGrenier's all alone. Aussie Lights Suplex! Flow Down (Standing Saddled Reverse DVD)! Incapacitator (Double Underhook Armbar)!

 

20) GREASER

Rusty tries to get one over on Ian while his back is turned, and their brawl bumps into Skip. This leaves LaGrenier all alone for Greaser, who enjoys every second of LaGrenier's begging and pleading before emptying out his toolbox of hammers, wrenches and drills.

 

21) BLOCKBUSTER

Blockbuster and Skip charge at each other and trade hands! It's on! Skip gets the upper hand with eye-pokes and foot-stomps until Blockbuster gets in some head-banging. Realising he needs an ally, the Heavy Metal Mauler saves LaGrenier from Greaser's clutches and throws the Gear-Head out (Elimination 16; Greaser - 2m 21s). Rusty tries to take 'Buster down under, but it's like hitting a brick wall and he's soon hurled outside aswell(Elimination 17; Rusty Mills - 7m 18s).

 

22) SHANE NELSON

Nelson goes bananas with dropkicks and monkey flips, sending Skip, Ian and Philippe flying... but not Blockbuster. He's too big and too strong and tosses Nelson aside (Elimination 18; Shane Nelson - 0m 53s). Blockbuster and Philippe team up to beat Skip like a drum, causing Ian to come to Beau's rescue in a rival alliance.

 

23) DIABLO DEVILLE

The Ancient Demon Prince is in no hurry to enter the fray, feeding off of the suffering of the eliminated participants. He slink around outside of the ring until Shane Stones threatens to disqualify him. He enters, but stays out of the way, not wanting to disturb the battle of LaGrenier & Blockbuster vs Skip & Ian.

 

24) SAYEED ALI

Sayeed has no interest in staying out of anyone's way or making alliances. He takes on all comers with dirty street fighting and East Coast Forearms from behind. Trying to take on the smallest opponent he can find, he runs afoul of the demonic Diablo's inhuman flips and springboards.

 

25) STEVIE GRAYSON

Stevie offers his new demon pal plenty of tips and encouragement, which disgusts Diablo, but he plays along as they join forces to dodge, duck, dip, dives and dodge. Shades of Grayson (Moonsault Press) to Sayeed! Damnation (Splash to Back) to Identity!

 

26) DICE ELDERBERRY

Dice wades into the fray, shoves LaGrenier into a corner and protects him with his life. Ian throws a few forceful complaints his way, but the Customer Service Expert fends them off with his mighty bulk. LaGrenier rests.

 

27) POISON

Unblinking, unfeeling, the monster Poison takes everyone apart with right hands... except for Identity. He leaves him alone, much to Ian's confusion.

 

28) GNAW

Gnaw takes it to the monster with Tiger Claws and a big Tiger Suplex, but Poison pops right back up. Ripcord Lariat! Poison seems unstoppable, until Stevie remembers one of his weaknesses and leads Diablo to start peppering strikes at his one weak spot; the collarbone. Poison feels pain!

 

29) BOBBY THOMAS

This is no party. It's a Super Kick Conference and attendance is mandatory! Super Kick! Super Kick! SUPER KICK! Super- No! Super Kick! Ian tries to protect his head, but Bobby practically shatters his forearm! LaGrenier tries to charge in but Bobby takes out his knees. He wants Diablo, but Stevie stands between them, protecting his demon pal. Bobby tries to convince Stevie he's evil, but Diablo feigns fear. Poison breaks free and Bobby is forced to use his expert submission skills to attack the collarbone and take him down. Diablo mocks him.

 

30) HUGH ANCRIE

Ancrie quickly joins his fellow Express Deliverymen in the corner, forming a defensive perimeter around LaGrenier, who is exhausted and on the verge on tears. The ring is packed and the fight is on! A wild brawl! Bobby is hurled off of Poison, but is quickly replaced by Gnaw. Diablo & Stevie pepper Sayeed with strikes. Ian attacks Express Delivery. Blockbuster and Skip continue their brawl.

 

Poison bursts to his feet! Ripcord Lariat! Ripcord Lariat! But... his six minutes are up. The potion wears off, he returns to being simple old cowardly Joey, and Bobby throws him out! (Elimination 19: Joey Poison - 6m 13s)

 

JOEY POISON

You think you've won, but I am not the true threat.

Not any more. My body is weak but the potion is

strong. Ian Identity! You can't win this alone. Drink

the potion! Be the legend you were born to be!

 

Joey throws a vial at the feet of Ian Identity. Hurt. Exhausted. So close yet so far. Ian takes the potion and... No! He refuses to drink! He tries to throw it out of the ring, but it's intercepted! By Gnaw. Everyone in the ring watches, stunned, as the ferocious feline drinks the magical potion. Body wracked with pain, Gnaw drops to his knees and thrashes around on the mat, unleashing a guttural scream then... Silence. Stillness. Gnaw rises, staring straight ahead with cold, dead eyes.

 

Ali attacks, but his punches do nothing and Gnaw throws him over the top rope with shocking ease. (Elimination 20: Sayeed Ali 13m 03s). Dice tries to smother the beast in his atrocious armpit, but screams in pain when Gnaw starts biting it, and gets tossed out (Elimination 21: Dice Elderberry 10m 10s). Stevie tries to rally Diablo to attack the collarbone, but Diablo hangs back and it has no effect anyway and Stevie gets tossed (Elimination 22: Stevie Grayson - 10m 05s). Bobby finally gets his hands on Diablo and tosses him out for his cowardice (Elimination 23: Diablo DeVille 14m 31s) but finds himself in the ferocious feline's path himself (Elimination 24: Bobby Thomas - 5m 42s). Express Delivery cover Gnaw with stamps, but are no match for his animalistic fury. The beast throws out Ancrie and has LaGrenier in trouble. (Elimination 25: Hugh Ancrie 4m 30s).

 

Ian and Skip spring into action with forearms and jabs, desperately trying to find some way to contain the beast. Grateful for the save, LaGrenier adds stamps to the mix, and realising he won't he able to handle Gnaw on his own, Blockbuster adds head-banging. They're barely doing any damage, but between the four of them they're able to throw the monster over the top rope and out to the floor (Elimination 26: Gnaw 8m 17s). Gnaw lands on his feet and is about to jump back in... when Joey Poison stands in his way. Gnaw can barely contain his animalistic fury, but allows himself to be led away. Joey is thrilled.

 

FINAL FOUR

 

Blockbuster and Skip continue their war while Ian gets revenge on Philippe for putting him in a box. Blockbuster goes low and tries to BusterBomb his old 'friend' but Skip counters with a huracaranna. He's against the ropes! Blockbuster's teetering! And Philippe makes the last second save, throwing Skip over! (Elimination 27: Skip Beau 24m 07s). Blockbuster and LaGrenier double team Identity, but Ian is able to break free of the exhausted mailman's grasp and Blockbuster's clothesline sends LaGrenier out instead (Elimination 28: Philippe LaGrenier - 40m 36s). Blockbuster doesn't much care about the blunder, until he realises he's alone with Inspired Ian Identity! Intense Forearms! Incredible Dropkicks! Blockbuster and Identity both tumble over the top rope and onto the apron, where they continue to trade hands... until Ian's foot slips, knocking him off balance, and Blockbuster hurls him into the guardrail. (Elimination 29: Ian Identity - 23m 53s).

 

BLOCKBUSTER WINS (52:22)

 

 

CGC WORLD TITLE MATCH

 

/w Robin DaLay DAN DALAY VS ZEUS MAXMILLION /w Stevie & Diablo

 

Zeus tries to control the challenger with Greco-Roman Grappling, but Dalay is too big and bullies the smaller man around the ring, stepping on him and squeezing the life out of him. Zeus is thrilled to meet such a worthy foe in glorious combat. Left hands meet clubbing blows! Headbutts meet big boots! DaLay snatches a mighty bear hug, but Zeus uses his Godly strength to power free! Spinebuster! Olympian Clutch (Camel Clutch)! Robin uses the magical tomahawk to summon pouring rain over the ring. Zeus' grip slips and Robin drops the temperature. Zeus shivers while Big Poppa thrives. Stevie Grayson takes the tomahawk and changes to a warmer climate; a Greek Summer. Dan's sweating and Zeus fires up!

 

Robin and Stevie fight over the tomahawk until it flies out of their hands and falls to Diablo DeVille. What will he do with the power to control the weather? Robin promises death and destruction if he helps his Pa win. Stevie offers friendship and love.

 

 

BOBBY THOMAS doesn't give the demon the choice, snatching the tomahawk away. Diablo tries to alert Zeus that Bobby is about to attack him, and Bobby's had enough of this. He throws a SUPER KICK- but Diablo ducks and Stevie takes it in the teeth, hitting his head on the steps as he falls.

 

Stevie isn't moving.

 

Zeus stares a hole in Bobby, rage in his heart and electricity in his eyes. Bobby tries to explain as Zeus hurls him into the ring and grabs him by the throat. Lightning bolts strike the ringposts uncontrollably. Bobby fights and fights as he is forced backwards towards the electrified corner by a furious God. Diablo is beside himself with glee!

 

Dan DaLay tries to take advantage by using the tomahawk the old fashioned way, but Zeus spots him and a lightning bolt hits the weapon with such force that it breaks it in two! Bobby flees and DaLay tries a BACKFI- but Zeus catches it! Thunder Bolt (Sit Out Powerbomb)! 1... 2... 3!

 

ZEUS MAXMILLION RETAINS (15:50)

 

Medical personnel tends to Stevie as Zeus stares at a fleeing Bobby Thomas with fury.

 

Diablo is delighted.

 

[Self]

 

Team Zeus Promo . . . C

FROZEN NORTH VS WOOLABONGA BOGANS . . . C

Hailey introduces Vars . . . B-

JACK BRUCE VS JACK DECOLT . . . B

Alex meets Hustle King . . . C

LAST MAN STANDING RUMBLE . . . C-

DAN DALAY VS ZEUS MAXMILLION . . . C-

 

FINAL RATING: C

0.08 buy rate on PPV Services (and they're not happy)

 

So... I thought Last Man Standing and its Rumble would be a great way to end things. Having everyone in the ring, one last time. In theory it felt right. In practice? No. So wrong. Rumbles don't end feuds, they just continue them. In fact, the whole card was just wrong if I was trying to end this diary (and run with CGC, possibly) the right way. Jack DeColt beating Jack Bruce doesn't do anything to draw a line under his story (I couldn't even make it important enough to justify it going on last) and Zeus Maxmillion vs Dan DaLay never fully clicked for me (similarly, bad chemistry in the ring).

 

The bummer is, I knew when I was ending this months ago. All that the announcement on the actual TEW release month did was change it from a 10-week build to a 7-week build. My idea was, by pairing Bruce & DeColt and Zeus & DaLay, I was removing from the Rumble the superstar outliers and creating an anyone-can-win playing field. But Blockbuster has hit a point where he was FURIOUS if anyone but him was going to win (except for Ancrie and Bobby) and he is one of the future aces I was building around. Along with the rest of the final four. Based on voting, Ian Identity was primed to win, but in game he just hasn't gotten over. Him winning would have caused a riot. Ali and Elderberry probably would have walked. Dice is already phoning in performances.

 

Who Won? Blockbuster

Final Four? Blockbuster, Ian Identity, Philippe LaGrenier, Skip Beau

Most Eliminations? Gnaw

Longest Lasting? Philippe LaGrenier

Shortest Lasting? K-Squared (Shane Nelson came close)

Will Ian Drink? No!

Which Drone will last the longest? #4 (Alistair Shufflebottom!)

Blockbuster beat Skip

Bobby eliminated Diablo, but didn't last as long

DIce Elderberry didn't even see Greaser

 

Am I done? Not quite. I plan to put this to bed before I crack onto TEW2020, but that gives me another week to play with. Not sure what I'll do with it yet. There are dangling threads still haunting me.