Voeltzwagon Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Somewhere in a quaint little pub in one of the many smaller towns in the British Isles people are enjoying a rather peaceful evening where they can converse, drink and overall not deal with any sort of trouble. In particular there is one man sitting at the bar by himself feeling rather tranquil. He even almost coos.* So Peaceful Nothing could go wrong on a night like this. On most nights it would all just end with everyone having a good time and that would be it, but then this story would be very short and dull. That is why.... AHHHHHHH!** Almost taking the door off its hinges THE FORCE bursts onto the scene with eyes wide and breathing heavily. THE FORCE: "WHO HERE WRESTLES!?" Everyone is dead silent as they stare until one man pipes up as he is pointing to Pigeon Mask who is trying his hardest to hide.*** The hiding doesn't work because THE FORCE is quickly standing next to him and he grabs the man by the shoulders. THE FORCE: "YOU ARE COMING WITH ME!" Pigeon Mask: "I am!?" THE FORCE: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pigeon Mask: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Together: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screaming all the way the pair leave with The Force kidnapping the masked man. The rest of the group in the pub remain silent for a moment longer before they all go back to what they were doing. Sure they just witnessed a kidnapping, but it was probably best they didn't say anything about it. *: He has worn the mask so long he often forgets he isn't really a pigeon when in a zen like state. **: Force, Jim: A man equal parts shouting, muscle and cocaine. Worked for a small company known as USPW ***: It is very hard to hide when you are the only person wearing a pigeon mask. One might think he would have learned that by now at age 45. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 He doesn't know when he passed out, but Pigeon Mask could not keep up with the screaming of THE FORCE and while being kidnapped he finally fainted. When he started to come to he found himself in a rather dim room sitting on a chair that was at least comfy. Though there was someone in the room. Someone very large from the fuzzy outline. Soon all things came into focus. ???: "Hi!" Pigeon Mask: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" ???: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" THE FORCE: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU BOTH SHOUTING WITHOUT ME?!" It is hard to tell where THE FORCE came from*, but he was now in the room and his shouting seemed to have quieted everyone down for the moment. Pigeon Mask still looks absolutely mortified as THE FORCE motions to the man that is somehow larger and more muscular than he is. THE FORCE: "INTRODUCE YOURSELF!" ???: "Dan, Bigger Dan." Pause. "Bigger Dan Ewe." Pigeon Mask: "N....nice to meet you?!" THE FORCE: "GOOD! NOW WE ARE ALL FRIENDS! I HAVE CALLED THIS MEETING TO SAY THIS IS THE OFFICIAL FORMATION OF EXTREME FORCE WRESTLING!" BDE: "Horray!" Pigeon Mask: "Ahh....why am I here?" THE FORCE: "I NEEDED A BOOKER! YOU ARE FROM AROUND HERE SO YOU SHOULD WORK JUST FINE!" Pigeon Mask: "I have never booked before in my entire life!" THE FORCE: "I HAVE HALF A MILLION DOLLARS FOR YOU TO SPEND ON THINGS." Pigeon Mask: ".....You sir have a booker." THE FORCE: "GREAT! NOW FIND ME TALENT! AAAAAHHHHHH!" *He was doing laundry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 Extreme Force Championship Louie Peyton (First Reign: 3 Defenses) BIG BAD LAD BATTLE! 2016: THE FORCE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Roguey Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 hahahahahaha you mad lad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshbrady91 Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 What a great fun start, looking forward to more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarK_RaideR Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 <p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="pUpNVPm.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/pUpNVPm.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="lS4fD4G.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/lS4fD4G.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> It had been a few days since Pigeon Mask perhaps made the worst decision of his life*. Since then he has poured over several options on who to hire and he has passed on many recommendations to THE FORCE who is now looking things over.</p><p> </p><p> THE FORCE: "WHY ARE SO MANY OF THESE PEOPLE TINY!? IS THIS A BRITISH THING!?"</p><p> </p><p> Pigeon Mask: "What? No! You just come from a place where a lot of the people are very big! We have big people here too, but ahh..."</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="9Ijx0oR.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/9Ijx0oR.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> He casts a glance towards Bigger Dan Ewe who is enjoying a bunt cake. He just smiles happily and waves before Pigeon mask looks back to THE FORCE.</p><p> </p><p> "There are just better...smaller options**. I'll find bigger guys like....how about this one?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="lkCiUUq.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/lkCiUUq.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> THE FORCE: "THAT LOOKS LIKE HE CAN RULE ASS. WHAT IS HIS NAME?"</p><p> </p><p> Pigeon Mask: "The Dublin Destroyer. I think you two might have something in common***. I'll contact him him!"</p><p> </p><p> THE FORCE: "YESSSSSSS! GET MORE! I WANT TO RUN A SHOW IN JANUARY! AND IT WILL BE.....THERE'S NO EASY WAY OUT!"</p><p> </p><p> BDE: "There's no shortcut home!"</p><p> </p><p> THE FORCE: "THERE'S NO EASY WAAAAAY OUT!"</p><p> </p><p> THE FORCE and BDE: "GIVING IN CAN"T BE WRONG!"</p><p> </p><p> Pigeon Mask: "Help me...."</p><p> </p><p> *:Not true. The biggest mistake he did involved a break maker that left two fans injured and the venue in flames.</p><p> </p><p> **: Most big men that THE FORCE might appreciate are old, fat or bad in the ring. Sometimes a combination of all three.</p><p> </p><p> ***: Not much in common. The Dublin Destroyer can get rowdy, but he is as LOUD and is also does not eat cocaine sandwiches.</p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarK_RaideR Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 If Andres Thunder Isn't Hired, We Riot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DarK_RaideR" data-cite="DarK_RaideR" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="47256" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>If Andres Thunder Isn't Hired, We Riot</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> I expect plenty of rioting</p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 EXTREME FORCE WRESTLING The Staff Jackie Goldstein: Jack of all trades that will be doing announcing for EFW. Guy McKenna: Jackie's partner in crime on commentary duties. Humphrey Woolsey: Veteran referee that formerly worked for Ring of Fire. The Rest THE FORCE AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Pigeon Mask Mostly flightless birdmanthing. Head booker as well as part time performer. Armand Hardwicke Captain Blandpants. Kind of chonky. Nowhere to go but up? Bigger Dan Ewe Big bad lad. Likes cake. Monster heel with a heart of gold. Colin Picalo Small. So small and skinny. Asking him to put on a little weight. Scrappy underdog? Lenny Mochin One dangerous dude. Rarely ever smiles. Ring of Fire graduate and assisting with road agent duties. Notorius F.R.E.A.K Really freaky. Actually a very nice guy even though freaky. Not sure if really a wrestler, but took his word for it. Nigel Svensson A more happy Lenny Mochin. Working in Japan for SAISHO as well. Knows how to properly break each bone in the body in alphabetical order. The Dublin Destroyer Rowdy tough lad looking for a fight. One of the bigger names and bodies that were brought in. Louie Peyton Has the most name value due to his 21CW run from years ago. Likes unicorns, but don't tell him I said that. Prince Neville, Lady Aurora and Squire Foppenbottom All bow before the prince! Always accompanied by his beautiful lady in waiting and uh.....squire. EFW NO EASY WAY OUT EXTREME FORCE CHAMPIONSHIP The Dublin Destroyer vs Louie Peyton Also Scheduled Prince Neville and Squire Foppenbottom vs Pigeon Mask and Notorious F.R.E.A.K Colin Picallo vs Bigger Dan Ewe THE FORCE vs Armand Hardwicke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarK_RaideR Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 The Dublin Destroyer vs Louie Peyton Whoever wins, we all lose. Peyton's still young and can take the loss, if 21CW haven't re-signed him yet. TDD is old, but fits Force's big guy ideal, so going with him for this. Prince Neville and Squire Foppenbottom vs Pigeon Mask and Notorious F.R.E.A.K Another bound-to-be-terrible match. Guessing the squire takes the fall here. Also because I like Freak Colin Picallo vs Bigger Dan Ewe Squash THE FORCE vs Armand Hardwicke SQUASH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePastor Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 Really liking this increase in more comedic diaries like this and The Oddworld that have recently caught on. Adds a bit of realism and breaks up the monotony so that every diary isn’t focused on farming studs and going National. Love the intentional usage of bad workers as well, probably the only time they are ever featured in diaries outside of one off jobber appearances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munit Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 EXTREME FORCE CHAMPIONSHIP The Dublin Destroyer vs Louie Peyton Prince Neville and Squire Foppenbottom vs Pigeon Mask and Notorious F.R.E.A.K Colin Picallo vs Bigger Dan Ewe THE FORCE vs Armand Hardwicke Idk what it is about Jim Force but he and Tom Gilmore always drew me to the Cverse. Maybe its because he reminds me of a less popular/intimidating Ultimate Warrior. Loving this idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 24, 2020 Author Share Posted January 24, 2020 EXTREME FORCE WRESTLING NO EASY WAY OUT! Wednesday, Week 2 January 2016 The Paddington Club (South British Isles) Attendance: 102 Jackie and Guy are on commentary tonight and go over the card including the crowning of the company's first champion happening in the main event. ***** THE FORCE runs to the ring and is all sorts of pumped up as he takes a microphone in hand. THE FORCE: "I HOPE YOU ARE READY TO ROCK BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BLOW YOUR BRAINS TO THE BACK OF THE CLUB TONIGHT WITH EXTREME FORCE WRESTLING ACTION! TO GET THINGS GOING IT IS TIME FOR YOU ALL TO FEED OFF THE POWER AND FEEEEEEEL THE FOOOOORRRRCE!" Rating: 38 ***** THE FORCE vs Armand Hardwicke Armand comes out dancing to some generic Eurobeat music and tries to get THE FORCE to dance with him. THE FORCE DOES NOT DANCE*. THE FORCE goes on offense and in little time he dives off the middle turnbuckle to splash on Armand. Winner: THE FORCE Rating: 24 ***** Colin Picalo vs Bigger Dan Ewe One of the smallest lads on the roster against the biggest lad. Colin doesn't back down and strikes at Dan a few times who doesn't seem to feel a thing. He finally decides he has had enough of Colin and starts to pound on him. He delivers a big chokeslam and puts his foot on the fallen Colin for the victory. Winner: Bigger Dan Ewe Rating: 13 ***** Prince Neville comes to the ring with Lady Aurora at his side and Squire Foppenbottom behind him. Neville and Aurora have a mixed look of disgust and confusion as they survey the crowd and look about. Lady Aurora: "Ye gods. Where did we end up my lovely prince?" Neville: "It seems we have taken a wrong turn. Judging by the locals I fear we have ended up in Neckbeardia." Lady Aurora: "Oh no!" Foppenbottom: "OH NO!" A rather large fan in the background shouts "OH YEAH!" which gets a disgusted look from the prince. Neville: "Do not worry, m'lady. We will take care of the two miscreants we have to face tonight and we will go to somewhere much better. Somewhere far from here." Foppenbottom: "Hey that guy has the same dress as Lady Aurora." Neville and Aurora: ".....WOT?" Rating: 31 ***** Pigeon Mask and Notorious F.R.E.A.K vs Royalty Divine with Lady Aurora Foppenbottom was right in the case of Notorious is wearing the same dress as Lady Aurora. It horrifies Neville who quickly tags his squire in. Said squire takes a beating from both men who look to have the match in hand. That is until Aurora distracts Pigeon Mask and it allows Neville to smash his scepter over Notorious' head. Foppenbottom recovers to tag in Neville who delivers a Swansea Swanton and gets the pin. Winners: Royalty Divine Rating: 30 ***** Nigel Svensson vs Lenny Mochin** A strangely technical match that kind of seemed really out of place from the wild dives and big brawls that have happened so far. Both men exchange several holds. Nigel is just more experienced and manages to get a nice counter on Lenny that allows him to slap on his Hyper Extension Arm Lock. Lenny quickly taps. Winner: Nigel Svensson Rating: 42 ***** EXTREME FORCE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH*** The Dublin Destroyer vs Louie Peyton No flippy doo moves here. Just two rough and tumble gentlemen engaging in fisticuffs with the occasional wrestling move thrown in. They beat one another back and forth for quite some time and it turns into a battle of who has better conditioning. Both men are in good shape, but Destroyer starts to tire out and that allows Louie to finally gain control. Louie picks up Destroyer and delivers the Predator Bomb. The first champ has been crowned. Winner and NEW Champion: Louie Peyton (First Reign) Rating: 31 ***** Louie holds his arms up high and he asks for a microphone to address the crowd after the match. Louie: "Don't care who it is back there. Can be dancing boy, that princely fop, THE FORCE, or that big lad in back. I am here to fight and I am going to be keeping this belt for a long damn time. There isn't anything any of you can do about it either. Step on up to me so I can knock you down." Rating: 35 ***** Final Rating: 33 *: THE FORCE is actually a very good dancer, but that is not something he will show off while in the ring. **: The writer somehow forgot this match was on the card and has been sacked. ***: THE FORCE forgot a physical title. There shall be one for next show. AHHHHHHHHH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarK_RaideR Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 Winner: Bigger Dan Ewe Rating: 13 This is the quality content I am here for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePastor Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 Turns out Nigel and Lenny are the only fellas on the roster who know how to actually wrestle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 25, 2020 Author Share Posted January 25, 2020 Turns out Nigel and Lenny are the only fellas on the roster who know how to actually wrestle. There is a reason why the writer got fired. We can't let that shit happen again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Roguey Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 No swearinghausen, they'll take us off the air! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonk Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 Marvellous work Voeltz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munit Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 Love it. The scores are awesome haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 26, 2020 Author Share Posted January 26, 2020 The first show went down without any problems. Pigeon Mask couldn't be in a better mood right now. Maybe this whole booking thing isn't going to be so bad if he is left to his own devices. Pigeon Mask: "Oh! Colin! How is the weight gain going?" Colin was passing by and Pigeon Mask soon notices he has a double cheeseburger in each hand and he is already eating something else to where he can only reply with a nod as he raises one of the burgers up and moves on. Pigeon Mask: "....umm." THE FORCE: "AHHHHHHHHH I AM GETTING US A TITLE!" Pigeon Mask jumps in terror as THE FORCE seems to appear out of nowhere again. Pigeon Mask: "Will you please stop doing that!?" THE FORCE: "DOING WHAT!?" Pigeon Mask: "Nevermind. I wish you thought of the title before the show, but I am glad to hear you found one." THE FORCE: "YOU GOT MORE WORK TO DO. WE NEED FOUR MORE WRESTLERS NOW!" Pigeon Mask: "What? Why!? We got a nice crew." THE FORCE: "THE GAME DEMANDS IT! JUST DO IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Pigeon Mask: "The.....game?" THE FORCE is already gone before he can explain further. Pigeon mask just stands there confused. It looks like he has more hiring to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 26, 2020 Author Share Posted January 26, 2020 NEW SIGNINGS Jonni Lowlife Not really a lowlife. Actually a pretty nice guy. Second option when Johnny Highspot ended up going to 21CW. Liam Lutz Scrappy brawler. Not much else to say. Puffy the Sand Iron Player Look! An angry golfer! ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS!? The Damned He won't stop glaring.....I...I am going to see myself out now. EFW SMOOTH UP IN YA EXTREME FORCE CHAMPIONSHIP Louie Peyton vs ??? OTHER MATCHES Armand Hardwicke vs Bigger Dan Ewe Nigel Svensson vs Liam Lutz Prince Neville vs Colin Picalo Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs Pigeon Mask Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarK_RaideR Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 THE FORCE has an interesting taste in 80s rock. I'm assuming he's the one naming the shows, right? EXTREME FORCE CHAMPIONSHIP Louie Peyton vs ??? Guess who's gonna FORCE themselves into a title match. And win it. Armand Hardwicke vs Bigger Dan Ewe SQUASH! Nigel Svensson vs Liam Lutz Can't hurt one of the few guys that can actually wrestle. Mainly because he can carry everyone else. Prince Neville vs Colin Picalo Prince vs Peasant, nice. Now I'm hoping for Prince vs Pheasant. Get it? Because Pigeon Mask... ah, nevermind Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs Pigeon Mask Damn those pigeons for messing with his shots! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshbrady91 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 <p><strong>Louie Peyton</strong> vs ???</p><p> Armand Hardwicke vs <strong>Bigger Dan Ewe</strong></p><p> <strong>Nigel Svensson</strong> vs Liam Lutz</p><p> <strong>Prince Neville</strong> vs Colin Picalo</p><p> Puffy The Sand Iron Player vs <strong>Pigeon Mask</strong></p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voeltzwagon Posted January 26, 2020 Author Share Posted January 26, 2020 <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DarK_RaideR" data-cite="DarK_RaideR" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="47256" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>THE FORCE has an interesting taste in 80s rock. I'm assuming he's the one naming the shows, right?</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Some people never left the 80s</p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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