DIW 2023: The Secret Millionaire

[619]

Part 21: Two shades of BS

I’d yet to experience a period in Aussie wrestling that could be categorised as sane but, even by the standard I was used to, April 2023 was pretty out there.

In addition to the arrival of Beach Babes and their shock reveal of Big Jim Teasdale as booker, it was reported that Revolution Australian Wrestling would undergo a change of direction from soap opera to reality TV. Or, to quote The Comedian: “They haven’t had an epiphany and noticed the word wrestling is in their name, they’re just painting over one shade of BS with another one.”

Meanwhile, Beach Babes in the space of just over a week cancelled their first event due to not having a roster ready (aptly called It’s Over), and then announced a TV show. Evidently, knowledge of what would be worn was more important to the Girls, Cars and Violence! channel than who would be wearing it. If they didn’t speed up their recruitment, perhaps it wouldn’t just be all the company’s hats that Big Jim ended up wearing.

A further frustration was Rob Edwards’ unwillingness to sign exclusively for us, at least not for the money I was offering, wanting to continue to work dates for New Era Wrestling. Even the positive of him finally winning a match there for the first time in six months was spoilt by it being for an undercard belt, meaning our main man was holding a smaller company’s fourth most prestigious title.

And to put a bow on perhaps the worst month I’d experienced so far as booker in terms of news from other promotions – though maybe I should’ve just been grateful that we hadn’t been raided yet – The Anarchist suffered a broken neck that would cost him over a year of his career. I lost sleep wondering if it might’ve been avoided if I hadn’t kicked him out of DIW. Shawn assured me he’d probably have taken that booking regardless, but I felt guilty, especially knowing he was at a stage in his career where he might never make a full recovery.

Edited January 31, 2023 by 619

[619]

Part 22: Shooting themselves into a work

I was completely incapable of understanding my fellow humans. At least that was how attempting to analyse Milton Hittlespitz and Dexter Mattell’s relationship made me feel.

They disliked one another long before they’d ever met. Then a meeting specifically designed to squash their heat and help them see they were both decent blokes made no difference.

But now that they were about to headline Devil May Care together after months of throwing personal insults at one another in front of hundreds of people, that was when they decided “hey, this man publicly emasculating me isn’t so bad”, “yeah, neither’s the one pointing out I’ve never been a main eventer and accusing me of begging RAW for a job”.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining. It made my life a lot easier – and I thought that as long as we kept the material fairly vicious, the fans wouldn’t detect any difference – it just perplexed me that a situation I feared would turn professional rivalry into outright hatred had unexpectedly had the opposite effect.

Still, I was intrigued to see how the main event would be received. It was Mattell’s first since joining us, so it was unclear whether our hard-to-impress fans would accept him in that role. Milton hadn’t been in one since January either and, while he started our hot streak of main events last year, Rob Edwards and Blitz Simpson had arguably eclipsed him lately: would he hit the same heights, or had his popularity peaked?

Also announced for Devil May Care was Wrecker getting a shot at Australian Champion Lloyd Banks, tune-up matches for Blitz and Edwards ahead of their DIW Title clash at Massacre, and a rare eight-man match pairing tag champions Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos with recent Ares Death Cult allies Seth Wish and Con McReady against the unlikely combination of The Benchmark and Two Badass MFers.

As an aside, at the same time that bringing a locker room rivalry into the ring was working out surprisingly well for me with Milton and Mattell, the reverse scenario occurred. Whereas Wrecker and Mr. Pink had been friends even before I aligned them as The Wrecking Crew, their in-ring separation regrettably looked to have put distance between them away from it as well.

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Part 23: Devil May Care 2023

Carl Paris v Rob Edwards
The fact this non-title match went almost 10 minutes said more about how many different ways The Human Weapon could inflict punishment on an opponent than how good Paris was at resisting them, though the youngster got to show heart with a few gutsy kick-outs. There was no stopping Edwards though, who claimed a seventh straight win with his Roundhouse Kick.

The DIW Champion commented after on being told he was disrespectful for walking out at the end of The Barracudas’ triple threat at Havoc. He said he was there to see three thugs beat the crap out of one another for a shot at him, he didn’t need to watch them all hold hands at the end. The Human Weapon pointed out that since he joined Ares Death Cult, The Barracudas couldn’t handle them: Blitz Simpson and Chopper Rourke lost to Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos, Vaughan lost to him, and Blitz would suffer the same fate at Massacre.

Kobra Khan v Cueball
This match wasn’t hyped or branded, we just wanted fans to see Kobra Khan win a singles match again after losing his last four. The Ripcord Knee clawed him some momentum back.

Australian Title: Wrecker v Lloyd Banks (c) v Mr. Pink
As Wrecker grew impatient waiting for the bell, Death Ref took a mic and asked if he thought this was a one-on-one match. He hadn’t earned that, so Death Ref proposed adding a more deserving challenger to make it more of an attraction: Wrecker’s former partner Mr. Pink. You’ve got it, it was a setup. Though Wrecker made things much more even than his opponents expected, he was taken down when Banks knocked him off the apron with a barbed wire board through a table Mr. Pink had set up. Under the direction of Death Ref, Mr. Pink then laid down for Banks to pin him before Wrecker could recover outside.

Death Ref commended Mr. Pink for following instructions and told The Wild Things to treat his performance as inspiration for their own when partnering Cesar and Gyula against Two Badass MFers and The Benchmark later.

The Barracudas entered through the crowd for a six-man match and Chopper Rourke said they needed to address what happened last month. What happened last month was that Blitz Simpson proved he was the best fighter in DIW right now, and he’d prove it again by becoming DIW Champion next month. He said it had been almost two years since The Barracudas held the DIW Title so it didn’t matter which one of them held it, just that they have it back in their possession where it belongs. The trio bumped fists in agreement.

The Barracudas (Blitz Simpson, Chopper Rourke and Vaughan) v The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) and Pat Rigsby
If you know your early 2020s DIW, you’ll know that nothing helps get The Barracudas on the same page better than beating up The Warriors. The addition of the permanently punchable  Rigsby made this an even more attractive invitation for the jailbirds. Chopper scored the victory for his team with a Spinebuster on Mr. Green.

Two Badass MFers said some people will think they’re hypocrites for agreeing to an eight-man tag tonight. And to that, they say: you’re damn right. They don’t like sharing their spotlight with anyone, but they had to make an exception because apparently this is the only way Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos will stand across the ring from them, and they wanted to show the world they were ready to take back their Tag Titles. They started to ask the fans to put their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW history when their partners for the night The Benchmark interrupted, hinting that they may dispute that claim.

Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) and The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakato) and The Wild Things (Seth Wish and Con McReady)
This was the first eight-man match we’d ran since my first show, and while that one was filler to get everyone on my opening card, this was a story-driven showcase of eight people the fans saw as stars (okay, perhaps not quite in Hughes, Shaw and McReady’s case, but they were well on their way). For 10 minutes, we built up to finally giving the fans a chance to see members of Two Badass MFers and Ares Death Cult collide and then, within 30 seconds, with Hughes catching Sionis by surprise and taking him down, an eager-to-impress Wish tagged himself in. However, Cesar and Gyula weren’t impressed, walking out in protest and, with The Benchmark nailing McReady with Double Down on the outside, Wish fell to Hughes’ Fireman’s Carry Bulldog on the inside.

Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell
Mattell set out to frustrate the fans and his opponent by slowing him down with a series of submissions, yet eventually Milton rallied, pulling off a string of crowd-pleasing moves and then signalling for the Flying Knee Drop. Mattell rolled under the ropes and grabbed a microphone. He claimed to have only just remembered that Milton asked him to explain his nickname. Well, if Crazy Blue wanted to know more, he could ask Mel Hittlespitz why they call him Raw Sex. He added that, thanks to her, he knew Milton wasn’t the only member of the family with a lot of imagination when it came to ways that you can use furniture. Milton lost control, unloading on Mattell in the corner to the extent that Tatum felt she had to intervene. Her attempts to cool Milton down failed though, and Mattell was ready when he charged at him, catching him in his STF. Milton refused to give his rival the satisfaction of a submission, but eventually passed out in pain. Mattell celebrated his eye-catching win obnoxiously, even kissing a disgusted Tatum on the cheek when she raised his hand (an Easter Egg for any of our fans obsessive enough to know they were real-life partners).

[AboardTheArk]

This was an excellent show. Loved the detail about the second 8-person tag, love the Raw Sex vs Hittlespitz feud. I think I'm even leaning towards Blitz beating Rob Edwards after seeing The Barracudas so united. You have told me many times I know the characters on the CGC roster well, I think by this point you have more than matched that yourself. 

[619]

Thanks for such a kind comment @AboardTheArk. I feel like most of my undercarders aren't really well defined, especially compared to yours with their distinct personalities and motivations, but developing their characters more is an ambition for 2024 if I make it that far.

Part 24: A shock departure

With the constant speculation about Cutting Edge Wrestling bolstering their roster and Australian Pro Wrestling’s recent move for Blitz Simpson, every time I checked my phone, I braced myself for bad news. And yet when the moment came that I was told for only the second time in my booking career that someone was walking out on me, I was totally unprepared.

“Well kid, that was my last show,” announced Lou Brookmyre.

“What, you’re kidding me. How am I supposed to make this work without my ringmaster? Is there nothing I can do the change your mind?” I pleaded.

“I’m afraid not. You know, I first spoke to The Comedian about leaving when Big Jim got fired. I wanted to go on my own terms, not wait to be told my time was up like Big Jim was. He asked me to stick around for a while to help you get settled and you know how it is: he’s surprisingly persuasive. Anyway, I know we don’t agree on everything, and you still do some things I wouldn’t do, but you’ve definitely got a grip on the role now, even some of the in-ring decisions that you didn’t want to touch at the start, so my work here is done.”

“I know I’ve probably done your head in at times, but I really wouldn’t have got this far without you, and I truly do appreciate your guidance. This place won’t be the same without you.”

I meant it too. Lou often infuriated me, especially at the start when he seemed to resist all my ideas, but anyone in his position would’ve done the same. Hell, most 35-year veterans wouldn’t have been as receptive of a 32-year-old female manager replacing their friend and calling the shots as he was. Six months or so of friendlier relations made it a lot easier to accept that now.

But I’d miss him most as that buffer between myself and the boss, even if I did get paranoid in the past about him badmouthing me behind my back. Without Lou around, I might have to start having pre-show run-throughs with The Comedian instead, and it was particularly bad timing given something I was planning to do at Massacre next month.

I’d almost certainly need to replace Lou too. The boss shared some of the road agent load, but now he was getting busier on the business side, so it was too big a workload to carry alone on top of everything else. Not to mention, how do I put this politely, he wasn’t really personable enough to lead in that role, whereas Lou could get on with anyone.

I had three names on my mind. Firstly, I wondered whether Big Jim could be talked into the role, treating his acceptance of the Beach Babes book as a cry for help. Unfortunately, it was made pretty clear to me that him and the boss weren’t ready to reconcile yet.

I also liked the idea of Mayhem Mulhoney. Sure, he had criticised me in the past, but he was a DIW legend who knew the environment and half the roster and was great at getting people over. But I was advised he wouldn’t consider such a role right now, which I guess wasn’t too shocking. The reason he left was his desperation to prolong his in-ring career, and he was currently holding Original Legends Deathmatches’ top title at the age of 45.

The third person on my starting shortlist had no prior DIW experience, but had performed a similar job elsewhere and, from everything I’d heard about him, had the perfect personality for it, sharing Lou’s passion for telling stories. I just questioned whether he had the hardcore background to put together the kind of matches our fans demanded, so a more creative solution might be required.

A strange side-effect of this upheaval was the flicker of sympathy I felt for the boss. Yes, the company had more money than he could’ve ever dreamt was possible and had aspirations of expanding its reach beyond everyone’s expectations, but to be sharing that moment with me rather than the two blokes he’d had by his side from the start had to feel odd.

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Part 25: Arguing again

The Comedian called four nights before Massacre and he was furious about something I had planned for the show.

“I shouldn’t have found out about this from someone else. Weren’t you going to tell me?” he asked.

“You always say that if I’m going to do something you might not like, don’t let you know in advance or you’ll stop me,” I replied.

“But this is another level.”

“You’ve questioned my plans before, but you know by now that I’m always thinking ahead, I always know what the payoff will be. I don’t just make big decisions on a whim.”

“And when it happened in the past, I ran with it. But right now, we’re in a really good position to get that broadcast deal by the end of the year. If this goes wrong, it puts all that at risk.”

“Respectfully,” I said, and then took a long pause, weighing up whether what I wanted to say could really win me the argument, or would actually make things a whole lot worse. But there was no going back now. “Nothing we do at Massacre could possibly be as bad for business as you sending 300 of our fans home with a toast to a dead crypto millionaire none of them had heard of. You took your risk, please give me the chance to take mine.”

“I’ve let you get that dig at me in before. Make sure that’s the last time you do. Anyway, I’m going to need some time to think this one through.”

With that, he hung up, leaving me clueless as to whether I’d have to rebook a big part of Friday’s show.

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Part 26: Philosophy

I’m not sure I had been booking long enough or well enough to claim to have a philosophy, but I would say that 18 months into my run, a few patterns had emerged.

Firstly, I tried to spread our highest-profile matches out as much as possible, to ensure there was at least one high-stakes attraction our fans were eager to see at every show, rather than for instance having a supercard every three months and using the shows in between as filler. Cards towards the end of the year might be a bit more stacked as the year-long stories we were telling reached their culmination, but the general theory remained.

My DIW cards were generally split around 50/50 between matches featuring well-matched fighters receiving similar pushes which were hopefully harder for our fans to predict and matches where a more established wrestler was building momentum against someone not quite on his level. The idea was that fans got to see their favourite fighters at every show, without giving myself the headache of half of my top blokes losing every month by putting them all against one another.

Wrestling fans had been trained to see predictable as bad in recent decades, but my hope was that, for example, the crowd would accept seeing Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos beat a team who aren’t on their level every few months if we made it clear we were building to something bigger, putting them in compelling angles and offering more competitive matches elsewhere on the show. If every match was even, we wouldn’t be able to build any stars, so I saw this as necessary as well as convenient.

Why am I writing about all this now? Because Massacre 2023 was perhaps my most drastic example of booking a show around one match – arguably the most attractive one we had to offer in Blitz Simpson v Rob Edwards for the DIW Title – and hoping that spectacle and the angles we had planned would distract the fans from the lack of competitive undercard matches, and the extent to which we were using this show to build up to the next few.

But there was no Lou Brookmyre to read out the hardcore booking laws I was breaking anymore, and The Comedian was too alarmed by one particular angle to concern himself with the rest of the card so, if ever there was a show to adopt this approach for, it was Massacre 2023.

[christmas_ape]

I've been really enjoying this. I can't put my finger exactly on why, especially because I've never played C-Verse 23 (nothing against the idea, it looks great, I'm just too big a fan of the default data) and I don't even know 2020 DIW well at all. I think it just hits a good spot in between the show storylines and the background/booking stuff, with enough detail without there being filler. 

[619]

Thanks for the comment @christmas_ape. Regrettably I've followed the recent kind comments in this thread with my worst-booked show and an angle I imagine disappointing many DIW fans...

Part 27: Massacre 2023

Wrecker v Cueball
Wrecker started slowly, still sporting some wounds from last month’s two-on-one Australian Title beating at the hands of Lloyd Banks and Mr. Pink, but his superior quality soon showed, achieving a fairly straightforward win with his Mighty Bulldog.

The Barracudas entered through the crowd next. Blitz Simpson said there was no denying that Ares Death Cult had things their way over the last six months, but tonight The Barracudas would show them that they were still the dominant force in DIW, just like they had always been.

Kobra Khan v Tank
Tank demanded this match to avenge Cueball’s loss to Kobra Khan at Devil May Care, but he also found himself floored by the three-time Australian Champion’s Ripcord Knee. This was ugly.

Dexter Mattell accepted Milton Hittlespitz’s invitation to join him in the ring. Well, he got as far as the entranceway at least, asking what incentive there was for him to fight Milton again? He said he wasn’t like the other blood-thirsty freaks in DIW who enjoyed being in pain, he fought for money and prizes. Milton said because of Mattell, he never got his DIW Title rematch, so why didn’t they meet in Canberra next month to decide a contender for Hardcore Hallelujah. Mattell told him he was on, and Milton predicted that another Crazy Blue winter was about to begin.

The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) v The Wild Things (Seth Wish and Con McReady)
After a promising start, The Wild Things now had a losing record as a team due to getting on the wrong side of The Benchmark over the last two months. Their canes helped get them back on track here, and Seth Wish finished the job with Dust In The Wind on Mr. Green.

Pat Rigsby v Mr. Pink
Expert troll Rigsby had an easy target here, inevitably opening the contest by goading Mr. Pink about laying down for Lloyd Banks last month, offering to return the favour and then kicking him between the legs as he approached. Mr. Pink returned fire with a more aggressive showing than we’re used to seeing, claiming victory with a Pink Thunder Bomb onto a trash can.

Death Ref appeared to borrow some of Rigsby’s material next, saying that he’d found a worthier challenger than Wrecker for Lloyd Banks tonight, only for it to transpire that it was winless rookie Carl Paris.

Australian Title: Carl Paris v Lloyd Banks (c)
This match followed our usual Paris formula, with his opponent underestimating him and being shown up a few times, taking longer than expected to make a breakthrough, but eventually winning with his finisher, in this case a Piledriver. The Barbed Wire Messiah never resorted to his weapon of choice though, perhaps emphasising that he didn’t need it to complete his fourth title defence.

I entered the ring to congratulate Banks and Shawn, before sending them to the back. I said I’d hoped Momoe Hamuera would finally show up tonight, but the Cult had searched the back and she was nowhere to be found. A commotion in the crowd revealed that she was there and making her way to the ring. How careless of me to leave myself alone at her mercy… is what you’d be saying if this wasn’t a ruse. She entered the ring, I did the big gulp of fear and she soaked up the fan response just a little too long before acting. Before she could notice Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos entering from the opposite side, Gyula had knocked her down with a Clothesline from behind, and they followed up with a vicious Blood Sacrifice, enabling me to stand over her for the second time this year.

The Benchmark came out to confront Cesar and Gyula, but I advised them not to hang around. The Benchmark were about to speak when Two Badass MFers interrupted. Hendrix Hughes said he understood why The Benchmark wanted to get their hands of the champions, but they were at the front of the queue and nobody was knocking them out of the line. Donovan Boon asked if that was right, but Rusty Mills stopped things from escalating further, saying Two Badass MFers could have the first shot, but they’d better take it as The Benchmark wouldn’t be waiting any longer. Hughes and Seb Shaw waited until they’d left before inviting the crowd to put their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW. As they lit up, they were surprised by The Comedian’s music.

The Comedian introduced himself to Two Badass MFers as the original Badass MFer. He said Ares Death Cult are doing two things that anger him: ducking worthy challengers and letting people fight their battles. One contender match had already been announced for Canberra: Milton v Mattell. He thought it was time for another. Banks, Cesar and Gyula were ducking Wrecker and Two Badass MFers. If they want Mr. Pink and The Wild Things fighting for them, that would happen next month: a six-man tag. If Wrecker and the MFers beat Mr. Pink and The Wild Things in Canberra, they’d get Hardcore Hallelujah title shots. And Ares Death Cult members would be banned from ringside throughout that show. Either this was a slightly complicated premise, or a bit too wordy for someone as direct as the boss, but the fans were happy to see him at least, and to see Ares Death Cult’s tactics being turned against us.

DIW Title: Blitz Simpson v Rob Edwards (c)
If you’re going to book a one-match show, you need that match to deliver, and wow did Blitz and Edwards deliver. Death Ref came out with the champ as Banks had been instructed to escort me out of Marv’s, but the rest of the stables stayed away. If it felt too good to be true, it was. The first time Blitz signalled for his Lifting DDT, Death Ref swung at him with a chair, but the challenger anticipated it and blocked the shot, dropping our leader onto the chair with a Lifting DDT. This brought out Cesar and Gyula, but Chopper Rourke and Vaughan were ready to return fire. In the ring, Edwards’ Roundhouse Kick was evaded by Blitz and the champ landed awkwardly in the ropes. Blitz lifted him up to finally execute his Lifting DDT, but felt someone grab his legs between the ropes preventing him from dropping his opponent. He turned expecting to see Cesar or Gyula, but it was Vaughan. Before Blitz had time to make sense of it, he was hit by Edwards’ Roundhouse Kick. Vaughan walked off, pursued by a confused Chopper, as Edwards followed up with a second Roundhouse Kick to guarantee a three count.

[619]

Part 28: Diplomatic success

So there you have it. It might yet prove to be a disastrous booking decision, but it was easily my biggest diplomatic success so far. I’d convinced the boss and The Barracudas to sign off on my plan of Vaughan costing Blitz Simpson the DIW Title at Massacre, without a road agent to help me navigate the political instability.

How did The Comedian find out my plan before he threatened to pull the plug earlier in the week? I knew Lou Brookmyre hadn’t stooged me off to the boss as we didn’t discuss it before he left. I’m fairly sure it was The Barracudas wanting to make sure he agreed before going ahead.

After all, I decided to talk to them before Lou or the boss out of courtesy, as I wouldn’t have gone ahead with it if they crapped all over the idea. Being honest, if they said no, I doubt I could’ve overruled them anyway. I grabbed them straight after the triple threat at Havoc.

I came prepared (and I don’t just mean the crate of beers), well aware they were going to give me a hard time. And to their credit, they heard me out, giving me more time than they ever had before to outline what each of them would do next, eager to reassure them that there was a long-term plan they were all factored into. This wasn’t car-crash booking and I wouldn’t let any of them be lost in the shuffle or treat any of them as an afterthought.

Still, it wasn’t enough. Vaughan said sure I had a plan, and it wasn’t the worst one, but he wasn’t convinced a six-month story was worth sacrificing over 13 years as the most successful and inseparable unit in this company for. Blitz was more cynical, suggesting I’d come up with this secondary storyline for them with my blokes to sideline them and let my blokes play champions for longer.

I assured him that wasn’t the case, and on the contrary my intention was to throw even more spotlight on The Barracudas, this time as individuals as well as a unit, to establish them as even bigger stars. But we’d reached an impasse. They said they’d go away and talk. And, given what had happened since, it was fair to assume they didn’t just mean with one another.

I don’t know what happened next. Whether they convinced the boss to give it a go or he convinced them, or what deals were struck to made it beneficial for everyone to proceed. All I knew was that I got a text from The Comedian a few hours before Massacre telling me we were using my “gutsy” main event finish, which was the first I knew of it being approved. Maybe he meant “gutsy” as praise, but I took it as his way of telling me I was making a mistake.

When The Barracudas arrived at Marv’s, Vaughan told me they were in, though Blitz and Chopper alongside him still wore expressions that I interpreted as “if this angle buries us, we’ll make sure it’s your funeral”. They’d given me those looks too often not to recognise them by now.

But it went ahead amidst the scepticism. And what was coming next would arguably be even harder than convincing everyone to do it in the first place: proving it was the right call.

[AboardTheArk]

Wow that was crazy. I got completely swerved, and will just have to trust the booker and see where it goes!

[619]

@AboardTheArk I was worried about telegraphing it too much with Vaughan taking the title shot Blitz Simpson earned at the start of the year and Ares Death Cult setting it up so The Barracudas' only route to the title was through each other, but maybe I was so wary of over-foreshadowing that I didn't foreshadow it enough! I can't promise that trust in the booker will be vindicated here, haha.

Part 29: Rush and Rusty

Do you believe in life after Lou? You may recall me mentioning that I had three candidates in mind following the shock departure of DIW lifer road agent Lou Brookmyre and that two were instantly shot down: former booker Big Jim Teasdale and former DIW Champion Mayhem Mulhoney. The third contender was Markus Rush.

From a distance, he seemed to have it all. He’d performed a similar role for over a decade with APW, theoretically a bigger company at that time, so had Lou’s experience and people skills, but with a sunnier disposition and 15 less years on the clock.

However, Shawn had heard some whispers that he might not be as skilled as Lou or the boss at putting matches together. The solution I settled on was to try him out as a road agent, but to trial someone else too. If they both worked out, great, we had two new people to help lay out matches. But as long as one of them was a hit, we wouldn’t need to start over, or destabilise the locker room with two quick changes to a position that had only previously had one occupant.

My second choice was Rusty Mills. This was a risky move in some ways as he was new to the locker room and younger than most of our main eventers, so it could have been seen as an over-promotion and sparked resentment. But everything he’d done since joining had been great, and he was so thrilled with the opportunity that he was happy to take it on without any extra pay, so it was ultimately an easy call.

And a shrewd one too, may I humbly add. He was an instant hit. Rush, not so much. I’d given him two undercard matches (Kobra Khan v Tank and Pat Rigsby v Mr. Pink) and both fell short of the low expectations I had, with the feedback I gathered from the blokes involved underwhelming.

So it would be Mills rather than Rush taking on Lou’s workload, which presented two dilemmas. Firstly, I wouldn’t have a direct Lou replacement in acting as a buffer between me and the boss. Big Jim, Mulhoney or Rush had the seniority to play that part, but it would’ve created too much locker room imbalance to demand that of Mills as an active fighter, and a new one at that.

And secondly, I didn’t want to just dispose of Rush. I feared it would make me look incompetent to both the boss and the blokes to immediately drop someone I’d brought in. I also suspected his experience and positive personality could still be an asset if I could find another way to utilise him, though unfortunately I wasn’t too clear on what that would be.

[619]

Part 30: Concerns before Canberra

I wasn’t too sure how to feel about Massacre. My initial reaction was elation for convincing the boss and The Barracudas to go with my intended finish, and critical reception appeared to be surprisingly positive too, with some rating it as the best show since I’d taken the book.

However, it had been even more of a one-match show than I’d predicted. The first 70 minutes served up almost nothing memorable, with The Comedian’s appearance, Blitz Simpson and Rob Edwards’ brilliant main event and the big finish creating a collective amnesia about what came before.

This wasn’t a problem in itself: I’d mentioned beforehand that I saw it primarily as a set-up show, so that rough 70 minutes could be excused if we followed up well. My concern was whether the card I’d laid out for Carnage In Canberra was strong enough to do that.

We had two high-stakes matches announced – Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell to confirm a challenger for Rob Edwards at Hardcore Hallelujah and Wrecker and Two Badass MFers v Mr. Pink, Seth Wish and Con McReady to see if the former could earn title shots at the same show – plus the intrigue of Vaughan appearing after costing Blitz the title last month.

So why was I worried? Because Edwards and Blitz had carried the previous show and, for only the second time in 2023, neither of them were headlining. The other occasion was Devil May Care, also led by Milton and Mattell, and that had been perceived as our weakest show of the year so far.

It was difficult to pinpoint the exact issue: the crowd treated both blokes like major stars, they seemed to be into the story, and Milton had always delivered in the past. Perhaps the problem wasn’t anything that he’d been doing wrong, just that Blitz and Edwards had raised the bar so much in recent months that it was impossible for anyone else to reach that standard right now. But this was Milton and Mattell’s chance to show that they belonged in the same conversation.

Edited February 7, 2023 by 619

[John Lions]

Finally caught back up, been a great read. Dexter Mattell has been one of my "boys" since TEW2013, the guy always delivers and I don't think you'll be disappointed with giving him and Milton the ball in Canberra.

 

On the topic of Road Agent, what is the Original Lone Rider doing in the alternate 2022 mod? Him and his son would be pretty interesting hires if I think of the base data, but not sure if anything changed.

[619]

Thanks for reading and for the kind words @John Lions. I'm not wise enough to the game mechanics to know the exact issue with Mattell's ratings so far, possibly being penalised for his low hardcore score, but I'll likely just push through it as between his skillset, personality and relationship with other roster members, he's got so much upside and feels like a perfect foil for many of our stars. I just checked and Original Lone Rider is on RAW in this mod, brought in when they launched an extra show, but luckily another classy road agent candidate became available in the second half of 2023.

Apologies @AboardTheArk, I broke one of your booking principles in this show.

Part 31: Carnage In Canberra 2023

Carl Paris v Vaughan
Vaughan shunned his usual crowd entrance to walk to the ring the conventional way. Whereas most of Paris’ opponents respond to his flurries of offence with renewed focus, Vaughan opted to introduce a pipe, wearing the youngster down with it and then using it to amplify his Choke Sleeper.

Vaughan took a mic and said he didn’t do what he did last month out of hate, he did it out of tough love. He said Blitz Simpson and Chopper Rourke had a different DIW experience to him. Sure, they’d all been DIW Champion, but they did it off the back of his success. When they were happy doing their thing in the tag division, he fought and bled for their credibility and opportunities. He swore that he didn’t resent Blitz taking his spot, he just wanted him to earn it like he had done. It was out of compassion that he was teaching him these lessons as, if he learnt them on his own, it would be a lot slower and a lot more painful. Blitz didn’t seem to accept the explanation, charging to the ring and throwing fists. Chopper arrived and tried to get between them, but Blitz used the separation to grab a chair, swinging wildly at Vaughan, who ducked, causing Blitz to catch Chopper in the head. His remorse was instant, as was Vaughan’s exit.

The Benchmark (Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills) v Saracens (Cueball and Tank)
Having made clear their intentions to compete for the Tag Titles very soon, The Benchmark extended their perfect record in DIW to 4-0 with a victory over Saracens in which Cueball experienced the Double Down. The fans in Marv’s have taken to them in a way they don’t usually do to outsiders.

As The Benchmark had their arms raised, Markus Rush entered. He introduced himself to them as part of Momoe Hamuera’s training team. She was preparing for a match, only it wasn’t just Lori she was after now, she wanted Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos too. Rush asked Boon and Mills if they were ready to join her in that mission, and the answer appeared to be a yes.

Wrecker, Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw v Mr. Pink, Seth Wish and Con McReady
The biggest surprise here was that no members of Ares Death Cult intervened to assist the blokes doing our bidding. It was a competitive fight but, as I’m sure everyone expected given the stipulation that Wrecker and the MFers (a name too catchy for a one-off team) would earn title shots if they won, they did indeed win. Shaw sealed the deal with a Spinning Brainbuster on McReady.

It was at this point that Cesar, Gyula and I opted to make an appearance. I said that Wrecker and the MFers may feel like winners, but all they’d done was seal their fate. I pointed out that Ares Death Cult had already completed 12 successful title defences this year: three of the fighters beaten were no longer in DIW, and two of the teams we’d defeated were no longer together. So I told them to enjoy tonight, because they wouldn’t get to enjoy tomorrow. Wrecker and the MFers (I’m squeezing that name in there one more time while I can) acted defiant, but I instructed Cesar and Gyula to leave, content that my parade-raining work was done.

Kobra Khan v Pat Rigsby
This was arguably the least significant match of the night, but it still got the crowd buzzing, leaving me in a much better mood than at the same point of Massacre last month. Kobra Khan used his Ripcord Knee to extend his recent winning run.

I was back out next with DIW Champion Rob Edwards and Australian Champion Lloyd Banks, who were teaming together for the first time to tune up for their title defences next month. After taking credit for tearing The Barracudas apart, The Human Weapon claimed he couldn’t decide who he wanted to beat next month, whether it would be more satisfying to beat Milton Hittlespitz one more time, or vanquish a new victim in Dexter Mattell.

The Warriors (Mr. Green and Mr. Orange) v Rob Edwards and Lloyd Banks
This should have been a joyous day for The Warriors, enjoying the demise of their regular scourges The Barracudas. Instead, they faced a superteam of DIW’s two singles champions. The story we told was of Banks being eager to impress his partner, even resisting the barbed wire to follow The Human Weapon’s example in forgoing foreign objects. He let the DIW Champion have the glory though, tagging Edwards in to clean Mr. Orange’s clock with a Roundhouse Kick.

Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell
Mattell used a series of crowd-antagonising submissions to dominate the first half of this match. When Milton eluded a Boston Crab, he slid out of the ring and asked for a mic. He claimed to have just remembered that Mattell told him to ask Mel Hittlespitz why he was called Raw Sex, so he did, and she told him she thought the nickname was Poor Sex. She also said it wasn’t just in the ring that Mattell didn’t measure up to other blokes. Juvenile stuff, right, but surprisingly effective in unsettling Mattell. Initially, he channelled the aggression well, sending Milton flying into the railings. However, introducing a chair was a fatal error, as he was nowhere near as skilled at using one as Crazy Blue, who quickly turned the tide. He dropkicked it into him, whacked him with it and then laid it on his torso to connect with a Flying Knee Drop. For the second year in a row, Milton secured a DIW Title shot in Canberra and, for the second year in a row, he celebrated by surfing the Canberra crowd (a DIW record crowd of 408, for that matter).

[AboardTheArk]

Ha, well, it is just Mr Green and Mr Orange, but at least you feel bad! 

 

Putting myself in the shoes of a fan, which I guess I kind of am regardless, I am not sure whether to be happy the Momoe Haemura match just got a massive upgrade (it's one of the things I'm hyped for the most), or wonder how much the showdown being delayed in comparison to her first appearance would slightly annoy me, even with the perfectly valid reason that is the competitors getting trained to reach a certain level. I guess we all win though, since I am pretty sure a singles match IS coming at some point. 

 

Your match write-ups are shorter, which makes sense since you provide a lot of, and more well-rounded, content in the diary, but I did appreciate how the Milton vs Mattell match-up was laid out. Milton getting another shot is also pretty big, he keeps being one of the guys that can feasibly win against Edwards. Curious to see how this main event performed.

 

The tough love line from Vaughan sounds disingenuous, which makes sense. Probably by next show it'll be the hottest program on the show, and let me just say your foreshadowing went over my head because I am dumb. 

[619]

I love this analysis @AboardTheArk, thanks a lot for sharing it. I agree about Momoe/Lori: it's been eight months already, which is a long time to make people wait for a midcard match between two unremarkable workers. The Milton v Mattell main events scored 48 and 49, which is no disaster given our popularity in NSW is 31, but every other main event in 2023 has been 57+. With Vaughan, I think he wants to believe what he's saying and that there's nobility to the action he's taken, but it appears to have been provoked by insecurity at seeing his underlings surpassing him.

Part 32: Long-term booking

It was fair to say I’d had a pretty gentle initiation into booking. No major injuries, nobody poached, no locker room mutinies. We’d even been given a few million by a random bloke. Sure, The Comedian and The Barracudas were tricky to deal with, but booking DIW had definitely been easier so far than I thought it would be at the start.

It meant that until this point, my preferred booking approach of mapping out all my planned main events, title changes and key feud developments at the start of each year hadn’t really been tested, but I sensed that was about to change.

Fresh rumours of RAW and AE expansion plans emerged every day so, with Rob Edwards, Blitz Simpson, Donovan Boon and Rusty Mills in particular on fire, surely it was only a matter of time before someone took notice.

But even beyond that, the Milton Hittlespitz and Dexter Mattell situation had shown me the shortcomings of my long-term outlook, boxing myself into repeating that main event twice in three months when I knew after the first attempt that the combination wasn’t quite strong enough to carry a card right now.

I wondered if I might face a similar reckoning soon with Vaughan. He defied his aging body to put on one hell of a show with Edwards in February. However, now at a time when I was starting to feature him more prominently, there were signs that both his popularity and performance levels were cooling off.

It reassured me to an extent that I’d at least made the right call pulling off the Barracudas triple threat in April, but whether we’d do justice to what I hoped to achieve in the second half of the year remained to be seen.

[619]

Part 33: Another Crazy Blue winter?

I felt underwhelmed about our previous three shows. I thought Milton Hittlespitz v Dexter Mattell underdelivered at Devil May Care and Carnage In Canberra, and Massacre in between was a weak card salvaged by an extraordinary Blitz Simpson v Rob Edwards main event.

I was much more optimistic about Hardcore Hallelujah. I viewed it as one of our headline shows and this year we had all three titles on the line in matches that had plenty of build-up. Wrecker was challenging Lloyd Banks for the Australian Title, Two Badass MFers finally had their Tag Title rematch and Milton got his equally long-awaited DIW Title rematch against Edwards. And The Comedian’s special stipulation across those matches was that if any Ares Death Cult member interfered, they would forfeit the title in question.

It might not rival Simpson v Edwards, but I had every faith in the main event delivering. Milton and Edwards put on our two best matches of 2022 and the history of the rivalry added to the spectacle. Milton still held a 2-1 head-to-head advantage over The Human Weapon, who only achieved his victory with the help of the now-barred Ares Death Cult.

Having won the DIW Title against a Cult member at last year’s Hardcore Hallelujah, we’d leaned into the idea of another Crazy Blue winter. Would history repeat itself, or would I just book all my blokes to retain again like my critics expected?

Edited February 10, 2023 by 619

[619]

Part 34: Hardcore Hallelujah 2023

Australian Title: Wrecker v Lloyd Banks (c)
Some of my detractors believed that my DIW wasn’t hardcore enough, but these blokes provided a very compelling counterargument. Banks had made a point of relying on barbed wire less recently, yet the champion sensed after a few close calls that he wouldn’t keep hold of his title without it. He smashed a barbed wire board over Wrecker’s head, only for the challenger to force his shoulder up on two. The Barbed Wire Messiah went to what had worked for him many times before, the Piledriver, but Wrecker resisted, connected with his Mighty Bulldog to send the champ face-first into the board, leaving his face a bloody mess and taking his title as an extra insult. Ares Death Cult’s night of title defences had got off to the worst possible start.

Death Ref, who was banned from ringside for tonight’s matches, stormed out after the bell and screamed that this was all Mr. Pink, Seth Wish and Con McReady’s fault for their six-man defeat to Wrecker and Two Badass MFers last month which put Ares Death Cult in this position.

Blitz Simpson v Carl Paris
Coincidence or bad booking, you decide. The only previous time Blitz and Paris had met, Paris wound up breaking Blitz’s nose and, wouldn’t you know it, this time he gave him a fractured cheek bone. Blitz was pretty forgiving last year, but this time I could tell he was angry, laying in a few stiff shots. It fed the intended finish nicely though, which saw Blitz refuse to go for the cover after his Lifting DDT, instead lifting his beaten opponent back up for a Nasty Neckbreaker.

It wasn’t just Paris that Blitz had a clear message for, picking up a microphone after the match and telling Vaughan he wanted a match. Vaughan appeared at the entranceway and said he wasn’t looking to fight his Barracuda brother, merely to teach him, and told Blitz that his focus should be on figuring out a new path to the DIW Title. The advice wasn’t well received and he instead opted to make a beeline for Vaughan, who decided against waiting around.

Tag Titles: Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) v Ares Death Cult (Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos) (c)
The Benchmark arrived at ringside before the start to unsubtly remind both teams of their intention to challenge the winners. Hughes and Shaw were all business: no pre-match smack talk or crowd interaction, complete focus on getting their titles back. It looked like it was going to happen too with Hughes measuring Gyula for his Fireman’s Carry Bulldog when Cesar pulled Shaw off the apron and hit him with the Running Knee Side-Swipe. Hughes wanted Cesar in the ring, but a recovered Gyula charged him into the turnbuckle from behind and followed up with a Choke Bomb for the win.

While I wasn’t allowed at ringside during the match, I entered smugly afterwards to applaud my team. Markus Rush showed up, reminding me that I’d been ducking his challenge of a six-person match between Cesar, Gyula and I and Momoe Hamuera and The Benchmark. I assured him there was no ducking, we just had more urgent business than lending our credibility to some rugby wannabe, gesturing at the titles. But I said we’d be happy to put her out of her misery next month at Extreme Life, and asked him to take back a message for her, which inevitably was a slap in the face. The Benchmark threatened to intervene at this point, but we were out of there.

Chopper Rourke v Pat Rigsby
Perhaps the formula was too lazy for our fans to enjoy as much as me, but I loved the simplicity of booking Rigsby: he was a troll, so it always but made sense to put him against someone who’d suffered a setback and needed a momentum boost, and he was always able to provide them with it, before getting his heat back the next time he was in the ring with more taunting tactics. This time Chopper was his target, with him mimicking being hugged and then hit with a chair to mock Chopper taking the hit for Blitz and Vaughan’s recent hostility. The Barracuda didn’t sell it, and gave Rigsby plenty to sell instead, including a devastating Spinebuster.

Dexter Mattell jumped Chopper as Tatum was raising his arm, locking him in the STF. Vaughan emerged to run Raw Sex off. Chopper’s reaction as Vaughan helped him to his feet was hard to read, either because he wasn’t the best actor, or he was conflicted about how to feel about his stablemate. I’ll let you decide.

Kobra Khan v Mr. Pink
Apparently this was Mr. Pink’s chance to regain the respect of Ares Death Cult after his contribution to the situation they found themselves in tonight: defending all their titles without being allowed at ringside (which had already cost Banks the Australian Title). It didn’t go to plan though, and Kobra Khan kept his winning streak going with a Small Package Driver.

Seth Wish and Con McReady jumped Kobra Khan as he was walking up the ramp, taking him out with a dual cane shot and continuing to strike him on the floor. Not wanting to miss a chance to let out his frustration, Mr. Pink joined in with a cheap Pink Thunder Bomb onto the hard floor.

DIW Title: Milton Hittlespitz v Rob Edwards (c)
This was the fourth chapter of arguably the defining rivalry of my time as booker. Milton had dethroned Edwards a month before I’d taken over, retained against him last October after Edwards had allowed The Barracudas and Ares Death Cult’s ringside brawling to distract him, then finally beaten Crazy Blue at the third attempt last December after aligning with the Cult. Edwards and Blitz Simpson had set an even higher standard two months ago, so the only question was whether Milton could rise to that challenge, and the answer was an emphatic yes. It should have been his night too, as he shaded a closely fought fight with Ares Death Cult barred from ringside but, as he ascended the turnbuckle for a potentially decisive Flying Knee Drop, he was smashed in the back by a cane. It was Seth Wish, and it was a pivotal intervention as The Human Weapon followed up with twin Roundhouse Kicks, each cheered on by Wish at ringside, to level the head-to-head score at 2-2 and keep his DIW Title.

[AboardTheArk]

Good show! The first domino fell, we're getting the six man tag at extreme life which, I wonder what would main event instead if you chased a rating. The note about Vaughan and Chopper was really funny, and a new program starting for Raw Sex AND Milton that could elevate Seth Wish. 

Also, nice to see the main event deliver after you were clearly anxious about it.

[619]

Thanks @AboardTheArk. Yes, Milton-Edwards scored 69, tying Blitz-Edwards as our top-rated match so far. People interfering to cost Milton the DIW Title is definitely our most overplayed trope but, as you say, at least it set up some fresh feuds.

Part 35: From a huge high to a painful goodbye

When The Comedian told me the good news a few days after Hardcore Hallelujah, I was surprisingly unsurprised. Someone from the WrestleWorld Australia streaming platform had been at the show and had been impressed enough with what they’d seen that they were happy to add our events to their platform.

I was always confident of Hardcore Hallelujah being a hit, and all three title matches had delivered, with Milton Hittlespitz and Rob Edwards proving in the main event that they were still as strong a combination as ever. I had actually hoped we’d get a streaming deal in place in time to make that our first show on it, but our slight stagnation between May and July appeared to have slowed things down.

The terms WrestleWorld Australia were proposing seemed reasonable enough: a nine-month initial arrangement with us taking 55% of any revenue generated. We’d just have to recruit a commentary team, move music production in-house and tell them when we wanted to start.

This should have been time to celebrate: after 20 months with the book, I’d taken DIW somewhere it had never been before, and we’d done it without huge investment or roster turnover while making a profit. Instead, it was at this time that the talent grab I’d been fearing for a few months took place.

Only it wasn’t RAW or AE who came calling, like the Aussie Wrestling bloggers had predicted, it was CEW. They’d taken Pinn Enterprises in 2017, they’d tried to snatch me twice and now they were grabbing someone who wasn’t just one of our top performers, but essential to my plans for the four months ahead that were going to make or break our streaming deal.

The most painful part of this bruising experience was that, whereas the boss was such a heroic figure when it was time for me to pick between DIW and CEW, he was an absolute nightmare here. We had the funds to match or better Gerard Knights’ offer, and it would have been an excellent investment, but he was at his stubborn worst, capping what he’d let me offer.

I explored every option in search of a solution, only for the boss to close them down one after another. I was even willing to humble myself to Knights so soon after turning him down to try to talk him out of a deal or at worst agree to share him, yet The Comedian wouldn’t compromise.

His attitude was that so many people had walked out on us in the past and we’d continued to thrive, so screw anyone that even considered working somewhere else. However, to me, this was different. For one thing, the timing: right before we were due to start a streaming deal with this bloke as one of our centrepieces. But also I sensed he’d have been happy to stay if we made him feel wanted and – as I can’t emphasise strongly enough – the deal it would’ve taken to do this was a bargain compared to signing someone of his quality from the outside.

Instead, the boss turned an easy deal into an impossible deal, we were losing a key player at the worst possible moment and, for the first time, I found myself second-guessing my decision to turn down CEW eight months earlier.

[JoshGallie]

I could only guess who CEW is making a bid for that is so essential for the booking. Maybe a retaliation for Lori's rejection at the end of last year.

[619]

Agreed @JoshGallie, this is how I choose to interpret it: that they waited until we were ready to make our big streaming debut to try to sabotage us.

Part 36: Pushing on

The hasty rewrite of my end-of-2023 plans had me questioning whether we should hold off starting our WrestleWorld Australia streaming deal until we were in a stronger position.

Two things persuaded me to push on. The first was the thought that if we didn’t close the deal before news of our star departure went public, WrestleWorld might take the offer off the table, arguing that we were longer as attractive a prospect as they first thought. The other was that recent developments didn’t significantly alter my plans for Extreme Life, whereas the next few shows required more extensive rethinking, so it represented as strong a starting point as any.

We’d already announced a six-person match pitting The Benchmark and Momoe Hamuera against Cesar Sionis, Gyula Lakatos and me in my long-awaited (by me at least) DIW in-ring debut. I also planned to repeat last September’s main event formula by giving new Australian Champion Wrecker a shot at the DIW Champion Rob Edwards in a ladder match. Throw in more Barracudas infighting and Milton Hittlespitz’s response to Seth Wish screwing him out of the DIW Title and I hoped there was plenty for new and returning DIW fans to sink their teeth into.

Starting streaming in September meant finalising an announce team. The Comedian was good for one spot, so I just needed to find him a partner, and the bloke I settled on was Sean Quartermainne. Admittedly, this continued a regrettable trend that every single signing I’d made in 2023 had an APW history, with Dexter Mattell, Con McReady, Donovan Boon, Rusty Mills and Markus Rush being the others.

But he stood out as the best option in terms of experience, personality and cost. I also wondered if he might be able to fill the space left by Lou Brookmyre as a veteran sounding board who was less stubborn than the boss but more battle-hardened than myself. He’d worked with The Comedian before, so hopefully they’d have chemistry on and off screen, and he’d operated as a booker and manager as well as a colour commentator, so had plenty of experience to share.

[619]

Part 37: Extreme Life 2023

We were squeezing as much space as possible out of Marv’s by now, setting up a table at the side of the entranceway for The Comedian and Sean Quartermainne to commentate from, with me positioned a few metres behind it with a cheap monitor to see what was going out to WrestleWorld and an earpiece to hear the accompanying commentary. The new voices of DIW welcomed what transpired to be 11,396 viewers to the show from a sold out Marv’s. SQ explained that his presence was at WrestleWorld’s request as they wanted someone to show The Comedian how its done and inject a little professionalism into the company.

Both men expressed surprise at seeing Vaughan speed past them with no music. He said he’d had a change of heart. If Blitz Simpson wanted a match, he can have it but on his terms, terms he was fairly sure Ares Death Cult would approve of: another Barracudas triple threat, with the winner of the fall getting a DIW Title shot and the loser leaving the company immediately. Blitz and Chopper Rourke entered together from the crowd and, with Blitz immediately taking Vaughan down, SQ screamed that it looked like we were on. Holy hotshot.

Blitz Simpson v Chopper Rourke v Vaughan
Blitz and Vaughan were constantly going for each other from the start, with Chopper continually trying and failing to calm things down, but it was the initial peacemaker who escalated things. With Blitz about to drop him with the Lifting DDT, Chopper pulled out a pipe from under his top and went low with it, following up with a shot to the stomach as Blitz stared at him in disbelief. Vaughan lifted Blitz up and locked him in the Choke Sleeper. With Blitz starting to fade, Vaughan pushed away referee Tatum when she went to count him out. Instead, he handed the lifeless body over to Chopper to send crashing to the mat with a Spinebuster. Vaughan left the ring as Chopper went for the pinfall to earn a title shot and seal Blitz’s fate.

As Blitz finally got to his feet for what I’d estimate was a 60-40 crowd reaction – the majority applauding his outstanding contribution to DIW, but others jeering upon realising that he was “selling out” – he was jumped by Dexter Mattell. As Raw Sex positioned him for the STF, Chopper and Vaughan reappeared on stage, but Chopper whispered something in Vaughan’s ear and they both turned their back and left, signalling their desertion of Blitz even at the expense of paying back the man who jumped Chopper last month. Mattell locked in the STF and laughed.

Donovan Boon, Rusty Mills and Momoe Hamuera v Cesar Sionis, Gyula Lakatos and Lori
I had frontloaded the card to try to attract and retain as many WrestleWorld subscribers experiencing DIW for the first time as possible, and I estimated that Boon and Mills (six-time APW tag champs) and Hamuera (international rugby star) were likely to have an audience beyond our usual fanbase to draw in. Whereas I had earned so many victories for Cesar and Gyula in the past, I cost them here, wriggling out when Momoe tried to set me up for the Sin Bin and running. With Gyula looking to assist me, Cesar was exposed and put out for the count by The Benchmark’s Double Down.

It was clear that Death Ref was distracted as he entered with Lloyd Banks – and if it wasn’t, we had commentators now who could highlight that to fans – preoccupied by my safety after fleeing Momoe. With that in mind, he kept his promo short, noting that if Wrecker could recover in time from the beating Rob Edwards was going to give him tonight, Banks would be taking his title back at Damage Control.

Pat Rigsby v Lloyd Banks
This was a story as old as time: man trolls other man over his Australian Title defeat, other man retaliates by Piledriving man one onto a board wrapped in barbed wire and pinning him.

Seth Wish said that he knew Milton Hittlespitz wanted a shot at him, and the feeling was mutual, but Con McReady and Mr. Pink wanted their piece of Crazy Blue too, so he’d have to share his time among all of them. Milton seemed unbothered as he made his way to the ring, though Kobra Khan followed him out to make the teams a tiny bit more even.

Milton Hittlespitz and Kobra Khan v Seth Wish, Con McReady and Mr. Pink
SQ pointed out that Milton and Kobra main evented this show last year in DIW’s first ever champion v champion match, which pleased me as I’d asked him to get that point across in our pre-show meeting. He added his own flair to it, saying it proved how far they’d fallen that they were now taking a kicking in a handicap match, which I was less keen on, but heels are gonna heel. Kobra got some shine, including a beautiful Crossbody onto Mr. Pink outside, yet Milton found himself overwhelmed inside. In a nod to last month’s main event finish, as Crazy Blue lined up a Flying Knee Drop on Wish, McReady blasted him with a cane. Wish followed up with Dust In The Wind for arguably the biggest win of his six-and-a-half-year DIW career.

Two Badass MFers (Hendrix Hughes and Seb Shaw) v Saracens (Cueball and Tank)
I called an audible here that left me feeling smug, moving the promo I initially scheduled before the match to after it. Even at only five minutes, this bout was five minutes too long, mercifully ended when Hendrix Hughes hit his Fireman’s Carry Bulldog on Tank. Hughes and Shaw reenergised the crowd before our main event by saying that while they stood by their word that The Benchmark could have the next shot at Cesar Sionis and Gyula Lakatos, they’d be waiting for the winners and next time there was no way they were leaving without their titles. Anyone who agreed was invited to put their ciggies in the air for the greatest tag team in DIW, and many obliged.

DIW Title Ladder Match: Wrecker v Rob Edwards (c)
This was a reprisal of my most sophisticated booking idea: we’ve got a ladder on the poster so let’s shoehorn one into the main event. I even replicated the formula of having our two singles champions contest it. I actually liked that part, as it gave a main event spotlight to someone who didn’t ordinarily get it, and created what I believed was a first time match on this occasion too. The only drawback was that Wrecker and Edwards weren’t the most natural pairing for a ladder match, but that wasn’t a problem: we just encouraged them to have a brawl and save the ladder for climbing. Well, almost. Wrecker introduced a second one to crack on Edwards’ back as he made his ascent. The Human Weapon, who typically shunned non-human weapons, found himself in a bit of a grey area when he followed a Roundhouse Kick by propping a ladder by the turnbuckle, sandwiching Wrecker in the middle of it and launching another Roundhouse Kick into the ladder before climbing to retrieve his title. SQ remarked that he couldn’t see anyone dethroning Edwards in this form, with The Comedian warning him not to discount Chopper.

[John Lions]

Great show, unfortunate that Blitz was the one to leave. To be honest, I think it was a bit of a blessing in disguise - Blitz hasn't really done much other than be the best "wrestler" of the Barracudas, and Vaughan and Chopper being the ones to send him packing really gives some juice to both guys for that one last run at the top. If you had Blitz get poached after 6 months of carefully building him, THAT would have been devastating.